This Time with Alan Partridge (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

Episode 2

1 You know It's You know You know - Are you all right, Alan? - Yeah.
Guys, clear the floor! We're on air in five, four Good evening.
It's a sad time on This Time.
It falls to me to say he has gone over the weekend.
We were given the news that colleague and tireless man John Baskell has passed away at the age of 65.
John had presented this show from its very first inception, but had been an institution at the BBC for You know Guys, do you mind if I speak from the heart? When I was a kid, I was lucky.
I had a train set in the cellar, and I'd play with those damn Hornbys all day.
But one birthday morning, I heard a squawk.
There, in the tunnel, was a sparrow's nest containing a single chick, vulnerable and frightened.
As delicately as I knew how, I reached inside and picked up the terrified sparrow by its beak, but as I leaned forward to pat it, my elbow knocked the switch of the train set A disaster! The train leapt forward Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, clickety-clack! I was sure that the bird would panic.
But then something incredible happened It wasn't shaking any more.
It was watching the trains go by, comforted by the the silly little spectacle in front of it.
I'll never forget the look of sheer delight that spread across that sparrow's face.
Sorry, guys.
Why have I been speaking completely off the cuff? You know I guess something just hit me.
Today, we're all sparrows trapped in tunnels.
Vulnerable, frightened And maybe, just maybe, this show, this silly distraction, is our train set.
And do you know where it's bound? It's bound for a town, and that town is called Let's Get On With It, because it's time for This Time.
Hello, and welcome to the show.
A sad show for all of us here, and I'm sure for many of you at home.
For all of you at home.
And I'd like to start tonight with a personal thank you.
John and I were very close colleagues, and your messages today have meant the world to me, thank you.
I too knew John.
Now, you can tweet a message about John from wherever you are in the country to help us get a picture of just how many of you he touched.
- A mosaic of mourning.
- Yes, that's nice.
- A collage of commiseration.
- A graph of grief.
Yeah, I think John would like that, even though it's not a graph.
It's sort of a graph, isn't it? - Is it? - Yeah.
You all right? There's a shuttlecock up there.
Remember, of course, to use the #ThisTime.
Yeah, or if you prefer, simply #Johngone.
Over there, in a seating rake borrowed from Crufts, we're joined by forty people who've chosen to be here this evening, in a TV studio, and they're just some sad people.
I was looking at the last message John sent me.
It's a very ordinary message, actually, but - I'm sorry, bit of a wobble there.
- Hey, hey, hey.
I'm here for you and, as I said to the producers, "I will stick around on this show as long as she needs me.
" Oh, thank you, Alan.
Well, you know, and particularly with you being so vulnerable.
Um, yeah, he wrote, "You're a little superstar, Milly.
" He used to call me Milly, short for one in a million.
Well, I'd call you Billy.
One in a billion.
Or Trilly.
Well, I think I'd settle for one million.
Wouldn't want to get too bigheaded.
Well, actually, no, a million's about right.
That means, in the UK, there would be 65 women of your standard or higher.
That's still a pretty exclusive club.
That would fit in my conservatory.
Have to let the doors open, let a little bit of air in.
So, what about the public face of John? Here's Alan with a look back on the career of the man audiences came to know simply as John.
Baskell.
"It seemed to me, you lived your life like a candle in the wind," so said Elton John about Marilyn Monroe, Princess Diana The list goes on.
But John was bigger than a mere candle.
It seemed to me, he lived his life like an oil rig flare stack in a North Sea gale.
Like an oil rig, he drew on huge reserves on energy, was physically quite squat, and, thanks to his prodigious whisky intake, helped prop up the economy of Scotland.
"Your candle burned out long before your legend ever did," continued Elton.
And it's no exaggeration to say that Scotland's vast reserves of oil and gas would burn out long before John's legend is ever forgotten.
Exaggeration? Possibly.
Sentimental nonsense? Again, unwise to rule it out.
But there is broad agreement that John was good.
The former BBC Television Centre.
John had a real appetite for this doughnut-shaped building and snaffled his way along the corridors, gorging on the opportunity, as he chomped his way to the top.
His big break, or mouthful, coming in 1985 with the BBC's Get Away.
And it needn't cost you a king's ransom.
Consisting largely of John in teeming holiday resorts, sampling cooked breakfasts in blazing sunshine, the show was, like the man himself, cheap and cheerful.
A great show! Terrible reviews saw it cancelled before the end of its run.
But it alerted the BBC's early warning system to John's talent, and he was now a big fat blip on their radar.
This led to what John called his golden period.
A veritable roll call of Britain's best-loved telly.
Which is why, in 2012, he was named host of new magazine show This Time, delighting us all with puns about hedgehogs being prickly.
They can be prickly customers.
John Baskell, what was he like?! What are you like?! Yes, it seemed to me, you lived your life like a candle in the wind The life of John Baskell, by Alan Partridge.
Now, while telly John was larger than life, private John devoted himself quietly, and without fuss or fanfare, to his charitable foundation, the John Baskell Foundation.
Here to tell us more about the humble work of John's foundation, the John Baskell Foundation, Jennie is joined by John's brave widow, Fran Bas-kell.
Thanks, Alan.
- Well, Fran, welcome to the show.
- ALAN SIGHS Thank you so much for joining us on Such a load of toss! I mean, just a bore.
Ate too much sirloin, till his colon threw in the towel.
Yeah.
- What have you got? - Well, I've been on the phone to the council - about the ramblers crossing your garden.
- Go on.
They say it isn't a public footpath.
- Hallelujah.
- It's a public bridleway.
What's that when it's at home? Well, it's like a public footpath, but horses can use it, too.
The previous owners didn't mind it, so it fell into public convenience.
What? I wish you'd fall into a public convenience.
You mean public access.
Well, I quite like the idea of horses galloping across my view.
Yes, because your mind's addled with Catherine Cookson.
These riders don't gallop, Lynn, they just sit on their horses, eating sandwiches in my garden.
- You're coming across well.
- Good, good.
- Remember, there's a vacancy here now.
- Lynn, keep your voice down.
His body's barely cold.
Fortune favours the bold.
The time is upon us.
Have you ever seen the devil's nanny from the film The Omen? No, why? Just you remind me of her, that's all.
Try saying, "Have no fear, little one, I am here to protect thee.
" Have no fear, little one, I'm here to protect thee.
If you'd knocked on my door at Halloween, I would have fouled my unders.
- Please, Alan.
- Yeah.
And then given you some sweets.
- Well, Fran, thank you so much for joining us.
- Go on, off you go.
- Scurry away.
- Thank you.
- And back to you, Alan.
- Fuck.
Thanks, Jennie.
And welcome once again to what I like to call the Simon Denton area.
- Simonsville.
- Dentonland.
Sector Simon in the Denton Quadrant.
- Well, I'm not going to do another one.
- Leave it there.
And may I say, a lovely speech at the top of the show, very moving.
Oh, yeah, I don't know, it just sort of went "bleugh"! Better than in the car? Yeah.
So what's this, then? Now, what we've got here is a Twitter feed.
All of the tweets coming in mourning John's death will all come up here and scroll up in real time.
Okay, so what we're watching is essentially live grieving.
- Exactly, yes.
- Well, John would be proud.
He'd be scrolling in his grave.
Yeah, well, no, he's still in the morgue.
Yes, keeping cool.
Right, let's have a look at some of these tweets, then, shall we, before we get much older? Ellie McGuire says, "We miss John dearly.
"The show will never be as good without him.
" She's right, of course.
The show will never be the same.
"As good.
" It will just be different.
"Without him.
" And then a flash of light here, in St Ives, signifying that the tweet has come in.
Harold911, "Alan, where get shoes?" Presumably, "Alan, where did you get your shoes?" - Slightly less relevant.
Move on.
- Hang on, hang on.
Bit of a tangent, but, yes, these are hand-stitched, soft Italian loafers, but I'm guessing what you're probably looking for is a pair of plastic slip-ons, and you'll find those in any market.
Okey dokes.
As you can see, they are glowing each time they come up.
That's the West Midlands, and then down in Devon and Cornwall in the South West.
- Looks like an air raid.
- It really does.
You can imagine someone standing next to this saying, "Britain is at war!" - Alan? - I was just wondering why a foreign aggressor would target these specific areas.
I mean, the Midlands, sure.
That's a manufacturing hub.
- But why Devon? - Well, that No, no, no.
- No, go on, go on.
- No, no, no, I was just going to say there's a big meat-processing plant in Cullompton, supplies a lot of the country's poultry.
You think they'd hit our chickens? My God, imagine the body count.
- And they'd have to get rid of them.
- Mass poultry graves.
Set 'em alight.
Watch 'em burn.
The smell.
It'd be absolutely Actually, it would be delicious.
It'd be lovely.
And that's Norwich lit up.
Oh, my God, there's 50,000 kids there! Sorry, I forgot what was real then, for a second.
- Did you, Simon? - No, we've got the graphics.
- A bit, though? - A bit, yeah.
Well, some very sweet messages there.
Anyway, some of them obviously quite thick, but no less sincere for that.
And all your messages will be coming up on the screen in real time, so Grieve away.
Get grieving.
Jennie.
Thank you.
Now, they say a death in the family is a chance for everyone to open up, and since our viewers are as much a part of the This Time family as anyone They so are.
we wanted to give them the chance to remember John, because he affected so many people, from his viewers, to his colleagues, to the homeless his charity helped.
And he cared so much about the homeless.
He used to bring them off in the street.
He used to bring them in off the street.
- What did I say? - You said You said something else.
Oh, God, yes, sorry! - Sorry.
He My mistake.
- Yes.
He used to bring them off in the street.
He'd bring them in off the street, yeah.
Yes, sorry, I did it I'm sorry.
Although, gosh, I mean, I'm sure that does go on.
Yeah.
Bloody awful business, isn't it? So, Annie, you were a fan of John for a long time, weren't you? A long time.
- He was a man of real warmth.
- Yeah.
I'm on my own, you see, and he was just such a lovely man Yeah.
Just let me get I haven't got a tissue.
- not like some of them.
- Get a tissue.
- Actually, can you just hold that? - Thank you.
- Don't talk into it.
- And you used to write to John, didn't you? - Okay.
- Oh, no, just do that.
Yeah, I used to write to him nearly every month.
- He never wrote back, but he had a lot on.
- Yes.
Matalan? But one day, I noticed he was wearing a tie pin I'd sent him ages ago - and that meant a lot.
- Yeah.
You know, listening to you talk there, - it really puts things in perspective.
- Yeah, it does.
I have a dimmer switch at home which hums, but at a very low frequency.
But if you're standing still, you can hear it.
And I was trying to hear it, I can't remember why, when I got the news of John's death.
I got three texts.
First one, "Guess who's dead?" Second one, "John Basket.
" Third one, "Baskell.
" Straightaway, I texted her back "VS", very sad, but when I went back to listen to the dimmer, it just didn't seem important.
I think it's something to do with the resistors in line which interrupt, when you lower the voltage, the AC wave, and that causes a mechanical vibration - Does that make sense? - Yeah.
which is unavoidable, like death.
Anyway, I've got a tissue here, though.
And look, there's a minstrel inside it.
- You can have that.
- Thank you.
Actually Also I've got Yeah.
I've got a couple of After Eight mints.
- One for you.
- Thank you.
- Okay! - Hey! Well, thank you so much, Annie, for sharing your memories of John with us.
Cheers.
Thank you.
And meanwhile, let's mingle with some of the grievers higher up.
Come on, budge up, make a space.
- What's your name? - Rhiannon.
That's a lovely Welsh name.
- And you are? - Ted.
Okay.
You weren't quite sure then.
But in all sadness, what did John mean to you? Well, it's very, very sad, you know.
- The show won't be as good without him.
- It's very true, the show will not be the same without him.
You see, I watched him close up.
I'd come down a couple of times a week to see the show, if they let me in, and if not, I just waited outside.
- Right.
- He was a real class act.
A couple of times a week? I mean, we probably should have set up a camp bed for you.
Nah, I've got to get back for the kids.
Back to? Sunderland.
You came all the way down from Sunderland twice a week? Yeah, I'd take a day off work and come down on the train.
So that's more than a 500-mile round trip.
Yeah, then I'd go back on the ten o'clock, and I'd get in about quarter to six in the morning.
It would take you eight hours to get back? Yeah, well, you have to wait three hours at Newcastle before the Metro starts again.
Right.
So what do you do in Newcastle for three hours? I smoke, think, walk about.
And who's looking after the kids? A man who lives downstairs.
Well, now John's gone, maybe spend a bit more time with them.
I can't now.
They're in care.
- They've been taken away.
- Because of? - Because I'm not there enough.
- You're never there, yeah.
Ted, it's been a real pleasure talking to you.
But it's not just adults who are saddened, it's children too.
Today's post brought a deluge of drawings and pictures of John from our younger viewers.
Here's a selection, accompanied by a track called Glockenspiel Dreams One.
And we're off.
- All right.
- All right.
Yeah, did that? Thank you so much.
- Jennie - Oh, Sam! - Come here, come here.
- I've missed you! How are you? - You know - Hey, you should come down to the farm.
- Oh, God, I'd love that.
- Tiff's got a new colt.
He's absolutely gorgeous.
- We should ride.
- Yes, we haven't ridden in ages! Hey, you horrible lot, how are you doing? Hi! I hope you're not being too hard on this guy.
- No! - We love you, Sam.
I love you too, all of you.
Go easy on him, eh? Listen, Jennie, I'm so sorry I couldn't help out - when they called last week.
- That's fine, you were busy.
But I gotta say, Alan, hey, did an absolutely sterling bloody job, mate.
I take my hat off to you and salute you.
Yeah.
I think you salute people with your hat on, but, you know, absolutely doesn't matter.
Even if I was free, best man for the job right here.
No, I'm just filling in, you know.
And I've got a pretty big iron in a fairly big fire at the moment.
- Oh, yeah, what's that? - I'm a radio d-jock for mid morning slots.
North Norfolk Digital.
Part of Holistic Media.
They also own Crown FM.
East of England Radio? Cathedral Digital? The Wash? The Groove? The Buzz? Ten seconds on VT.
Lavender FM? Lavender Digital? Fisheries Radio? Yarmouth Rocks? - Wold FM? Radio Orwell? - Back in five.
- You know Radio One? - Yeah.
Yeah, well, that's a radio station and so is North Norfolk Digital.
- Got it.
- Stand by.
Art from the heart.
And so healthy to see kids expressing their feelings in such a positive way, isn't it? Oh, yeah, definitely.
I mean, I was always taught, you know, to squash my feelings down, but it's good to see there's another way of doing it.
Don't forget to keep your tweets coming in.
Your messages of condolence will be appearing on the screen in real time.
Anyway, as the Dalai Lama says, "The show must go on.
" Yeah, you cock a snook at bad news, don't you? I do, actually.
I'm a snookcocker.
I'm sure there's an anagram in there somewhere.
What? I'm just saying, I'm sure there's an anagram in there somewhere.
Doesn't matter.
Press on.
Introduce your next guest.
Calling me that? Not an anagram.
Simon Denton there.
- Funny Simon Denton.
- Yes.
What's fascinating about history is that, unlike bread in a bakery or love in a marriage, it's never going to run out.
But military history is a genre all of its own.
A new series promises to shed light on battlefield ingenuity, and we'll be talking to its presenter, Sam Chatwin, very shortly.
- Hello.
- Shortly.
But first, since military history is a subject close to my heart, I thought I'd don my wellies and shed a bit of light on one of my favourite battles.
Let's take a look at my report.
A simple stream in North Walsham, Norfolk.
But six centuries ago, this stream would have flowed with the blood and entrails of fallen men.
I was hoping to illustrate it by pouring in this bucket of butcher's waste, but some Dilbert at the council seems to think it would contaminate the water supply.
So close your eyes instead and imagine bits of dead men bobbing about in red water.
This was the Peasants' Revolt of 1381, caused, some say, by underpaying the workers.
But there's compelling evidence that low wages actually increases productivity.
As Kirstie Allsopp says, "A well-fed dog is a slow dog.
" Whatever the pros and cons, there can be no excuse for the peasants' antisocial behaviour.
The execution of their ringleaders serving as a timely reminder that laws are there for a reason.
Behind me is North Walsham Heath.
What today is a pleasant place to rest was once a peasant place of rest, as many of them lay dying here.
You see, razzed up on scrumpy and injustice, they brought to the battle only guts and aggression.
And as anyone who's played squash against Adrian Chiles will tell you, guts and aggression are no match for skill and tactics, unless his opponent's had a big breakfast.
The battle was bloody.
After the first day, the bishops' men set up camp here, on the heath, a place for the pooped troops to regroup and recoup.
They would have discussed tactics with a free hot meal included.
No potatoes in those days, of course, they hadn't been developed.
It was simply lamb shank or the classic chicken.
In contrast, one can picture the peasants, loaded on cider, weeing into bushes, telling disgusting jokes before attacking the bishops' men in dawn raids.
But their lack of organisation meant they were no match for the deft swordsmanship and combat nous of a trained unit.
The labourers were serfs, their hands more used to drawing milk from a goat teat than wielding a sword.
The trained soldiers knew to have one hand on the hilt, the other on the pommel.
That is what I do.
I've got kids! God forgive me.
The battle continued The bishops' men fighting off futile, frenzied and sometimes ravish attacks from the peasants.
The battle continued till dusk.
The last of the rebels dispatched, and a bloody defeat that could have been avoided if the peasants had simply raised their concerns through the correct channels.
A sobering reminder that war, be it the First World War, the Second World War or the great war of China, always takes a heavy toll.
I've been fighting.
And I was the winner! And they'll be plenty more historical derring-do in War Machine.
Its presenter and sometimes guest presenter of this show joins us now, Sam Chatwin.
- Hello.
- Welcome.
Can I just say, before we kick off? Both on a personal level and on behalf of all the team at WM, truly sorry to hear about John's passing.
And on behalf of me and Jennie There's something very special about this show, and that was down to John.
And it was also down to you, Jennie.
- Alan, I know you've only just come on board.
- Yes - But John touched many hearts.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- He'll be sorely, sorely missed.
- He will.
- He will.
- He will.
- He will.
- He will.
- He will.
Now, you're best known as a BBC nature presenter, so this new show, - it's a real departure for you, isn't it? - It is, yeah.
But you know something? I've always had a passion for history, - and it's just great to share that passion - Me too.
- with the audience at home.
- Yeah.
I think a lot of people look at you, Sam, and think, "How does he do it?" You know, to go from nature programmes to one of the biggest gigs on the BBC History team, - that's quite a feat.
- Yeah, I guess.
Thank you.
Thank you for saying that.
And a little known fact, your father was head of factual programming until recently, - wasn't he? - Well, yes, he was, yes.
But, you know, for me, versatility comes from within.
- Yes.
- And, you know, to answer your question, Alan, and it's a very good question Cheers.
I think a lot of my willingness to try different types of shows comes, funnily enough, from John.
Really? Actually, do you mind if I just share something with you? I remember when I was in bed, at school, and everyone would chime up in the dark, saying what they wanted to be when they grew up, you know, racing driver, entrepreneur, foreign secretary, you know, all the usual stuff.
- Yeah.
- Well, I always dreamed of a career in broadcasting, but I really couldn't see a way in.
- I mean, after all, who was I? - The son of the head - of factual programming.
- So do you know what I did? I wrote a letter to the presenter I most admired, John Baskell, true story, asking him for advice.
Now, I never thought he'd reply.
I mean, why would he? As I say, who am I? - The son of the head of factual - But he did reply.
It was short, to the point, but it did the job for me.
And, you know, years later, I told him the story about the letter.
God, we laughed, and we became fantastic chums.
That's a great story.
Christmassed together, very often.
We became very close, actually.
As I know you were, Jennie.
Yeah, we were very, very close.
I too knew John.
Well, I think a lot of people felt that, Alan.
I mean, I bet if you asked his audience, you know Well, actually can I just? Do you mind if I just? Go for it, yeah.
Hi, guys, quick favour.
Hands up anyone here who actually met John? Yeah, there's a few of you.
But I bet a damn sight more of you felt like you met him.
Am I right? Yeah, look at those nodding heads.
You know it.
That was his gift, you see.
Cheers.
He leaves a hole is what I'm saying.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Which is why I'm sorry, I've stolen your seat.
Nah, I've lent it to you.
I'm so sorry, it must be muscle memory.
You know I've guest presented this show many, many times.
But, no, he leaves a hole, is what I'm saying, which is why everyone watching appreciates how tough today must be for Jennie.
Must take guts.
You know, not many people would soldier on, on a day like this.
I mean, some people would take a day off like that, - like the make-up woman Mary.
- Marion.
Yeah, I mean, she took a day off because they gave her cat a Cat scan and found cat cancer, and that's just a cat.
Now, War Machine I feel like I should be asking you questions sitting here! So, Alan Partridge, how do you put up with this monkey? Yeah, very good question.
How long have you got? She used to drive me nuts when I was on the show.
- No, I didn't! - Monkey Nuts, I used to call her.
- Yeah, I call her Trilly.
- It's so good to have you back.
Get a room! Well, talking of monkey nuts Get a room! I think we've got a little clip to show Sam.
It's a little thing that you do in your nature shows that has fast become a viewers' favourite, and one of mine too.
Let's take a look.
All right.
I found a bit of chocolate here, Diane.
Have you? I love chocolate.
Can you share it? Yeah, in a minute, in a minute, in a minute, yeah.
I love you, I'd do anything for you.
I'll just have a tiny bit more, a tiny bit more.
I would like some chocolate.
It's all finished now.
Yeah, you wouldn't have liked it anyway, love.
- That really makes me chuckle every time.
- Thank you.
I used to do animal noises myself - on rambles with the kids.
- Really? Yeah.
Yeah, there was There was Simon the Sheep, Martin Cow, Simon the Squirrel and Chris the Bee.
- Well, go on, let's hear it.
- No, no, that's Sam's thing.
- I'd like to hear it, wouldn't you? - I don't want to steal his thunder.
- Come on.
You can't tantalise us like that, Alan.
- Nah.
- Exactly! - Nah.
- Come on, don't be shy.
- Come on.
Have we got another clip? - Oh, please.
Can we bring that up? - Let's move on, move on.
- Have you got cold feet? - No, hot feet, watch this.
Hold still, you.
If I don't pick these ticks off your back, you'll get sores and you might die, and then you'll never get a girlfriend, a monkey girlfriend, who'll kiss you.
Get off, Mum, I hate you! You ruin my life.
Why are you not making eye contact with me, then? I will do in a minute.
There, I nearly did one then.
All right, bye.
Bye, then.
Goodbye.
That's pretty good.
Well, Sam, thank you so much for joining us.
Always a pleasure, never a chore.
It's always worth trying stuff like that.
Well, you're always welcome.
I'd love to have you back on the sofa next to me very soon.
- Well, let's see what happens.
- Okay.
So War Machine starts on Tuesday night at Wait, wait, wait.
Right, apologies, if anyone saw that, the feed is unmoderated.
- So, once again, apologies from us.
- Absolutely.
- Are we cutting to that? - No.
I don't think we are cutting to that.
I should read it, though.
It's just a tweet, it says, "All this BS about what a great guy John was.
Pass me the sick bag.
" - Well - Another one says, "He gave me a pottery lesson and sat behind me wearing Speedos "and saying, 'I'm like Patrick Swayze in Ghost'" Well, let's not assume that these Same person goes on to say, "It started off as a vase, but by the time he'd finished fondling me, "it was just a very wide ashtray.
" That's sad.
Well, all we know right now is there are some messages on Twitter, which is unregulated, remember.
Absolutely, absolutely.
There's one more.
Just says, "I once took a cup of tea to his dressing" What's that? It's the panic shot of the South Downs.
But there's still a monitor here, it says, "I once took a cup of tea to his dressing room "and he flopped his gown open, gyrated his hips "and twirled his penis around, "saying, 'I'm a Catherine Wheel' brackets, my name is Catherine.
" Important to say, these messages are unsubstantiated.
It goes to show he was able to make a serviceable pun, even from the most traumatic situation.
I suppose that was his gift, but then again, I didn't really know him like you guys.
Well, no-one truly knows another person, do they? That's the thing.
Well, how could they? Unless, of course, they were very, very close to him.
I know you Christmassed with him, which was a verb I'd not heard before.
But, Jennie, I think you were telling me that you'd Eastered with him.
Well, it's not something I was aware of, and I'm sure there's no truth in this.
- Right, right.
How sure? - Pretty sure! Right, okay.
State-your-reputation-on-it sure? Or minicab controller saying she's sure the taxi will be along in a minute? Because they're very different kinds of surety, aren't they, Sam? You know, perhaps it's time to take a step back, you know? Yeah, no, it's sometimes best to hedge your bets, especially at a time of grief.
Well, I'm afraid we will have to leave it there.
We will, we will.
And I was going to do a final eulogy, but no time for that now.
In short, John Baskell was on telly, did charity work, good to friends, three marriages, now question marks over conduct.
Apparently, we've got another fifteen seconds.
Jennie, do you want to say something about John? Sam? Playing with your nose Goodnight.

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