Top Gear (2002) s28e03 Episode Script

Series 28, Episode 3

APPLAUSE Thank you! Hello and welcome to Top Gear.
Later on, we're driving the new, all-electric Porsche.
But we kick off by talking about America, land of the free and home of the XXXL T-shirt.
SCATTERED LAUGHTER Thank you.
For ages now, we've been pestering the producers to send us on a proper big American driving adventure.
Oh, yes, America, the home of the original road trip - diners, drive-thrus, Route 66, muscle cars, all that stuff.
And to our great surprise, the producers said, OK, you want to do the original American road trip, no problem.
They gave us each £5,000 and told us to go online and buy our ultimate American road trip car.
But here's thing, they told us to buy themin Peru.
Forget Route 66.
The first roads in America were built by the Incas .
.
who, over 500 years ago, created a 25,000-mile network branching out across South America.
The Incan capital, and the point from which this remarkable feat of engineering began, was the Peruvian city of Cusco.
Which, we'd been told, would now be the start of our original American road trip.
Now, obviously, this is the producers' idea of a joke - but the joke's on them, because it turns out you can buy a whole load of cool old American gear in Peru.
Now, I've gone for a Dodge Dart, classic '60s Americana.
Big V8, rear-wheel drive.
It's about three feet longer than it needs to be.
It's just road-trip heaven for me, this.
Now, where is everybody else? Where are they? Oh, here we go.
Here we go! Jeez, this looks a bit tight.
Oh, you're going to hit that.
What's he doing now? Oh.
Yes, thank you very much, thank you.
All right, Chris? Where's he going? Not a great turning circle.
Oh, no, I'm with you, Fred.
CLANKING It's a tricky gearbox, as well.
Bring her in, bring her in.
Not that fast.
Eh? OK.
That is very pretty, Fred.
A Type 2 Volkswagen.
Camper, Kombi, Microbus - call this thing what you want, it's just a legend.
You do know the e-mail said American road trip - Yeah.
- .
.
not German camping? When you go on a road trip, it's about freedom.
Nothing says freedom like a VW bus.
You imagine this, West Coast, California, surfboards on the roof.
Not that I surf.
It's not an AMERICAN road-trip car, but it is an American road-trip car.
Do you know what? I've always wanted one of these.
I've always wanted to drive one and never had the chance.
- It's cool.
- It's cool.
And, to me, the drivers of these, they just spread peace, love.
- I'm getting into it.
- All right, let's not push it.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, peace and love, Chris.
Are you saying that I'll lose some anger if I spend time in that? If you sat in this, the angry little man would disappear.
- I don't think he would.
- You'd just be a happy little fella.
But I'm willing to try it.
I think we've done well here.
- This is the Dodge Dart, by the way, welcome to the Dart.
- I love Darts.
Let's have a look.
In the context of peace and harmony, I actually really like this, Chris.
I love an American muscle car, I really do.
Well, they're built for you, aren't they? They're about your size.
I look like I'm driving my dad's car, but this looks like it's actually for you.
Look at the size of the steering wheel.
HORN HONKS - And what's this turning up here? - Oh, my Yeehaw! HORN HONKS Howdy, partners! How you rootin' tootin' dootin'? What? CHRIS LAUGHS - I don't know what to say! - Americana.
- I don't know what to say.
- Exactly.
It's more Tropicana, mate.
Pontiac Firebird, boys.
Two of me favourite things growing up - Smokey And The Bandit and Knight Rider.
This were the star of both, end of.
The only bandit is the bloke who sold you that thing.
Nothing wrong with this.
Fantastic car.
It's times like this I wish I couldn't see colour.
What's wrong with you? This looks like it's been painted by the people who drive your car.
Don't worry about mine.
Pontiac Firebird.
Did they ever make a convertible? The more I work with this fella, the more I'm impressed by his car knowledge.
But I think this one might have slipped under your radar, Chris.
This is a very rare, South American version.
It's a DIY job, innit? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
If you want to Yeah.
Can you read out the name of your tyres to us, please? Oh, glad you asked.
- Happy Gallop.
- What? - Happy Gallop.
Doesn't that make you feel good? The sun's out, got me cowy hat on.
I tell you, life's good, boys.
It's going to be good adventure, this.
Ah, howdy.
Thank you.
Challenge.
"Welcome to your original American road trip.
"You will now travel from Cusco to the Vilcabamba mountains, "the end of the road for the Incas.
" - The Vilcacamp What? - What? Vilcabamba.
- Right.
- That's what it says, boys.
We're at Costco at the moment? Are we going to buy some cheap crockery? - No, we're not at Costco.
- Where are we? - We're in Cusco.
- Cusco, as opposed to where? Home of the topless Pontiac.
- Great.
- I hope it rains.
- Let's do it.
- I hope it rains.
It's not going to rain here! It's got no fold-up roof, has it? It's not needed.
Not needed.
Right, let's get out of here.
Paddy, can you drive at the back so we don't have to look at that? Hey, saddle up, partner! ENGINE ROARS Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! Yes, our original American road trip would take us west, across the Peruvian Highlands, through the Andes, to the last refuge of the Incan Empire.
It would be a journey across some of the toughest, highest terrain we'd ever encountered .
.
but heading out of Cusco, we were feeling confident.
All right, girls? HORN HONKS Everybody loves a Pontiac.
Yeah, it's loud and it's brash, but that's what these American muscle cars are supposed to be.
They're not supposed to be subtle and understated, they're supposed to be loud and in your face and .
.
and modded up.
I mean, this car was in Smokey And The Bandit, Burt Reynolds drove it.
I mean, not exactly this particular one, because his had a roof on and mine's had the roof taken off.
But if you want to outrun the sheriff, you want to be in this.
V8, five litres, what's not to like? This is gorgeous, this thing.
V8, loads of torque, big steering wheel, comfy seat, elbow on the door.
I mean, the Americans had it right in the '60s.
This is just relaxed motoring.
I love it.
I reckon I bought the perfect car for this trip.
And I got to tell you, since I started driving it, I have not stopped smiling.
No wonder the hippies have 'em.
These are inclusive.
Get in, come and join us.
Come on me adventure.
Not in a dogging way, in a nice way.
Now, our adventure had been going for about 20 minutes.
CLANKING Oh, God.
Which, unfortunately for the Bandit Oh, God.
.
.
was all the time his Firebird needed to go wrong.
I don't think it's going to get round here.
TYRES SCREECH Oh! Don't know what he's playing at.
That doesn't feel right.
Feels like me wheel's coming off.
Is that coming out of Paddy's? Yeah, that's coming out Paddy's car.
Pad, you've got quite a bit of liquid coming out of your car now.
Out of mine? Yeah, lots of it.
Pull over.
That's it.
Oh, yeah.
That's not good.
How many miles have we done? It's not very Firebird-esque, is it? The grin from your face has gone pretty quick! Right.
Give it a minute.
Waiting for the Firebird to simmer down, Fred went in search of refreshments.
Oh, lovely! - What have you got, what have you got? - Thank you, sir.
Hey, lads, you know what this is? - This is a South American version of a Mini Milk.
- Is it? And have you got a head gasket for a Firebird? - Doesn't need a head gasket.
- Mate, that is cooked.
Luckily, though, it looked like the previous owner might have had this happen before.
Agua! And with the Pontiac's radiator topped back up Good as new, boys! .
.
we got back on the road.
Here we go.
ENGINE SPINS, THEN FIRES Oh, God.
This is the trouble with buying things off the internet.
Looks fantastic.
Underneath .
.
absolute bag of spanners.
Ah, I've been overtaken by a Hyundai.
Oh, the indignity! And, in no time at all Right Full up.
Slightly staccato start to the trip, then, but at least the Dart and I were settling into life on the road.
This is lovely.
I've got snow-capped peaks ahead of me, a V8 burbling away in front of my legs, occasionally I find a gear.
What's the cornering like? Not too bad.
Brakes, well they are very BRAKES SCREECH Whoa, yeah, they're quite sharp.
Wiper.
WIPERS SCREECH Go on, son! Go on, son! They WIPERS SCREECH Ah, now, that one's just fallen off.
Just as well, then, that there was no sign of rain.
THUNDERCLAPS The weather's turned.
So pleased I'm in this car.
Blimey O'Reilly.
Windows up.
THUNDERCLAP You're not too wet, are you, Paddy? Are you all right? Jesus! Single wiper set-up works brilliantly.
Yes, wiper! Oh, no! Thankfully, the storm soon cleared and a little further up the road, Harris had an idea to get us back into the American road trip spirit.
Lads, straight road! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? What, pull in and get a change of underwear and some dry clothing? That shouts speed.
Drag race, come on.
Let's do it.
Yes, with the producers closing off the road, it was time for a classic quarter-mile drag race.
And, giving the Firebird some more time to cool off, first up it would be Dodge versus VW.
ENGINE ROARS LOUDLY All right! You're against a VW bus! Can't hear you, Fred! ENGINE ROARS LOUDLY OK, gentlemen, quarter of a mile drag race, the winner takes on The Bandit.
All right.
Three, two, one.
Go.
Oh, go on the Dart! Well, there goes Harris.
She's flying! She's flying! She's flying across the line Oh! Over the line.
The worrying thing is, that camper van looks like it set off quicker than I will.
Understandably concerned for his Firebird's performance, McGuinness snuck in a practice start.
ENGINE CHUGS Come on, son, hurry up.
Yeehaw! LOUD BANG SOUNDS What the? FREDDIE LAUGHS That's not good.
That's not good.
I Was there a pothole in the road? FREDDIE AND CHRIS LAUGH Erm, there appears to be no wheel.
Oh, Paddy.
What .
.
the? How much did you give for this? - He's had me over, boys.
- I think he has.
I mean He's had me over.
It looked quite violent from the inside.
- You were rodeo - Oh, I need to see my .
.
rootin' tootin' chiropractor.
To end up in this bright orange car The wheels have fallen off! If there was ever the perfect metaphor! CHRIS LAUGHS This is it, the wheels are off! CHRIS LAUGHS I'm gutted about the Firebird.
Gutted.
It had been a tough day for McGuinness, and what he really needed now was a bit of sympathy.
Paddy, let's just recap on your day so far.
You turn up in a bright orange car, you then get soaking wet, because you got rid of the roof, and to top it all off .
.
the wheels have fallen off.
Oh, sorry.
You stupid BLEEP.
CHRIS LAUGHS Do you think it was the right car to buy? Should we demonstrate the brakes again? Not really.
- You are going to do, aren't you? - No, I'm not going to do that.
BRAKES SQUEAL Stupid BLEEP! Look at that.
I've not got enough whiplash! CHRIS LAUGHS And if you carry on, I will throw some water on you as we drive.
I'm just saying.
So, do not start.
You're getting it.
CHRIS LAUGHS You're getting it.
That's that.
Now You've asked for that.
Fred, it's gone downhill a bit in here.
- Why? - I'm less dry than I was.
Oh, is he throwing water around, or is it his tears? No Anyhow - I'd just like to say - Oh, God.
.
.
welcome to the Dart.
Yeah.
Thanks for having me.
Really pleased.
Now down to just two cars, the producers told us to head to the nearby town of Chinchero, where they'd called up a few like-minded enthusiasts who might just be able to get our road trip back on track.
Oh, wow.
- These are gorgeous.
- Oh, yes.
Jeez! Chevy truck.
These are amazing.
I love these.
It's mint.
There's another Pontiac, over there, Paddy.
Oh, the Firebird! I tell you what, Paddy, do you know, when you see yours - and then you see this - I know.
You've got to admit it, this is beautiful.
Crack her open.
It's got a big block! Oh! Look at that! - Have you seen the Camaro, next door? - Yeah.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
That is gorgeous.
ENGINE ROARS LOUDLY Whoa! Turns out the classic American car scene is pretty big in Peru.
What's this? Oh, hey And one of them was up for sale - and in budget.
ENGINE ROARS Oh! Sounds healthy.
Yeah.
I like it.
- Christopher? - Yeah.
Tell him I'll have it.
The next morning, we awoke in the historic Incan town of Ollantaytambo.
Oldsmobile Cutlass.
I am very, very, very happy with this.
It's a marked improvement on your Pontiac.
Hey, I was doing a bit of research in the room, last night on the old t'internet.
Faster 0-60 than the Firebird, this.
180 brake horsepower.
Right, shall we get in and head off into the sunset? If you were The Bandit yesterday, what are you in this, today? P Addy.
Like Puff Daddy, P Addy.
- P Diddy wouldn't be seen dead in that.
- You what?! - Look at it! - Give his right - .
.
gold chain for this.
- Shut up! - Shush! - Get in, let's go.
CAR DOOR THUDS CONTINUOUSLY ENGINES ROAR Off we go! At last, we had a convoy that might not break down for five minutes.
Yeah, this is living! Just driving my Oldsmobile Cutlass around South America! And before heading out of town, we decided what our American road trip needed was a proper drive-through at the local market.
Arriba! CAR HORN TOOTS Here we go, what we got here? Excuse me, excuse me? This VW is about peace .
.
and happiness.
Could I Could you decorate - Decorate the front - Todo rojo? Todo rojo? .
.
with flowers? All down the front, please? 50? Yeah? It's a hippie wagon, isn't it? Ahora! Hey! Chillies! Chilli, chilli, chilli! Avocado! I've gone grocery shopping, I'm just buying veg, I love it.
I like your hat.
Very clever.
I like that! While Harris raided the grocers, McGuinness was trying his hand at drive-through gift shopping.
Oh! This is the way to shop.
What have we got, ladies? Oh, wow! PADDY LAUGHS It reminds me of somebody I work with.
In fact, have you got two? One more.
Two? Oh, yeah, that's actually perfect.
Yes! Here we go.
Look at this! Now we're talking.
This is a proper VW camper! We're off to Woodstock, come on! Oh, that's nice.
You reckon? - Yeah, it's good, good.
- Yeah? What a job that is.
I've got my hat and I'm going to get myself a blanket.
- OK, gracias.
- Thank you, gracias.
All right, that's beautiful.
Thank you so much, thank you.
Oh, my word.
Love bus complete, and road trip firmly back on track, it was time to head out of town.
I've got to say, with the flowers on the front of that Volkswagen, it does suit it, that car, doesn't it? Cheers, Pad.
Successful trip, I think.
HORN TOOTS We were heading once again towards the Vilcabamba mountains.
And to reach them, we'd have to climb over the Abra Malaga Pass.
At almost 60 miles in length, this switchback stretch of tarmac perfection is one of the most stunning roads in all of South America.
Look at that! Look at that! Wow, look at this.
Wow.
It keeps going, look, there's road all the way up there! But climbing high into the Peruvian sky, Flintoff was quickly discovering it's also .
.
one of the most challenging.
Oh, we've lost Fred.
Where's Fred gone? Where's Bob Dylan? Is he still back there? As we're getting higher, just losing power.
I only had 50 horsepower to begin with.
I hate to think what I'm using now.
Just stuck in first gear.
As soon as I put it into second, just dies.
While Fred's slowed to a breathless crawl, though Come on, the VW, keep going.
.
.
the two big American V8s were relishing the challenge.
Oh, good torque! Great torque from the Dart! I've only gone into second gear, Chris! Get in, Paddy! I think it likes the altitude.
I'm going to go for third.
She's still pulling.
I'm in third! Don't look to your right, do not look to your right.
Whoa! That wall'll definitely stop you there! Christ alive! It's still pulling.
We're still going up.
And then, Peru decided to show us what the original American road trip really had to offer.
Look at that view.
That is outrageous! That's literally like you're in heaven.
This might be the best hour's driving I've had on the road .
.
ever, and I don't think I've gone over 35mph.
Oh Sometimes, the really memorable drives aren't what you imagine they would be.
Didn't think I'd be in a slightly clapped out Dodge Dart in Peru, doing this.
God SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS And over the top we go.
Whoa, what a road.
That makes the Stelvio Pass look like the A406 North Circular.
With the others cresting the summit, my little camper finally caught back up.
Oh, he's back, Fred.
I can see the flowers are looking a bit worse for wear.
It's not so much a '60s hippie thing now, more like a busted-up old allotment! Yeah, I'm still here, lads, I'm still trucking on.
And all that waited for us now was the drive back down.
Come on, Fred, let her run, let her roll.
Here we go.
Our cars had conquered the Abra Malaga Pass.
And we were now one big step closer to the Vilcabamba mountains.
And with the sun starting to set, we pulled over for an authentic Peruvian drive-through supper.
- Can I just say - Yeah.
- .
.
this is lovely.
- It's nice, isn't it? - Yeah.
Thank you.
Potatoes, there you go.
- Oh! - There you go.
- Jacket spuds.
A bit of sauce? A bit of sauce? Here you go.
Hold that, hold that.
A bit of meat, now.
This is perfect.
Lads, here's your meat.
There you go, Chris.
It's a delicacy over here, this.
You're in for a treat.
There you go, Paddy, one for you.
It's like a kebab.
Thank you, thanks very Oh, you want some money? There you go.
Thank you.
What's that? - It's cuy.
- You what? Guinea pig.
What is wrong with you? - What? - Fred, my daughter's got two of these and one of them's called Timmy.
If I eat this, she will never talk to me again.
Fred, you're eating a pet! It's a pet! What are you doing? Punch and Judy.
- It's not Punch and Judy - That's not the Punch and Judy I saw.
Is that what they did at your school? Do you not think they've gone through enough, them two? CHRIS AND FREDDIE LAUGH Surely to God! APPLAUSE Wrong.
No.
- Local delicacy.
- No, wrong.
It's just Freddie, it's just not right.
You'll eat anything.
Where do you go for your lunch? Pets At Home?! LAUGHTER - I mean - To be fair, I'll eat most things.
- Yeah.
- I draw the line at quinoa.
- LAUGHTER - Right, OK.
Stop trying to deflect attention from that orange monstrosity.
What a horrible, horrible car that was.
- Firstly, don't speak about Fred like that.
- OK.
- What?! I thought his LeBaron the other week was the worst car - we'd ever had on Top Gear.
- Worst? - But you've beaten it.
- Oh.
- That Pontiac was terrible.
- Yeah.
I thought it was going to be all about Smokey And The Bandit and everything else, but it just turned out to be Bandit.
And that was it.
- A lot of smoke, as well.
- Yeah! Anyhow, we'll get back to that film a little later in the show.
But before that, exciting news, because Porsche has built an electric car.
It's called the Taycan.
And as you'd expect from a Porsche, it isn't slow.
This battery powered four-door sports car can generate a monstrous .
.
750 horsepower.
And as you'd also expect from a Porsche, it isn't cheap.
It costs £140,000.
So, if it's going to tempt buyers away from petrol, at that price, it had better be good.
BIRD SONG Special moment, this, and I mean a really special moment because Porsche make arguably the best internal combustion engine cars on the planet.
Expectations are high.
And while the Taycan follows the familiar battery-under-the-floor, motor-at-each-end recipe used by every other fast electric car, it has to be said, this one does feel a bit different.
From the start, it feels like a Porsche.
The driving position is low, the seat is just pinching my kidneys, the steering wheel is familiar.
And it's so quiet! That's the thing about electric cars.
Because there's no engine and gearbox noise, you hear other noises, nasty noises - squeaks, tyres thrumming away, suspension pounding at the bumps.
But they're all so well suppressed in here.
In fact, it means I'm complaining that the rain is too noisy today.
I've got noisy rain! And underneath the surface, that familiar electric car recipe has been even more refined.
And, as ever, Porsche's been learning from its exploits on the racetrack.
The 919 Le Mans winner used a special Porsche-designed electric motor that's smaller and more power dense than any rival, and that's what's appeared in this car.
If it's good enough to win Le Mans, it's probably good enough for your daily commute.
Oh, I mean, that is so fast! You put your foot down, you're in another dimension.
And the ride comfort .
.
is superb.
This is the most comfortable Porsche ever, by some margin! But perhaps the biggest news of all is that this Taycan might just have the answer to the electric car world's greatest dilemma - charge time.
Allow me to explain.
Imagine this thing here is your car battery and this is your cable from the mains.
Now, the lower the voltage, the lower the pressure at which you can shove electricity from this into your car battery.
Which is why regular cars take so long to charge.
But .
.
the Taycan runs at 800 volts, double the normal amount, and that means .
.
you get a lot more pressure in your pipes, which means you can fill your battery much, much faster! You get the idea.
To put it another way, find yourself a 270 kilowatts charger and you can add 200 miles of range in just over 20 minutes.
200 miles of range in the time it takes to have a sandwich and a little comfort break.
It's dead impressive, isn't it? The only problem is .
.
do you know how many 270 kilowatt chargers there are currently in the UK? Four.
Four! It's not much, is it? Once again, electric car technology is miles ahead of infrastructure.
And do you know how long it would take to charge this thing if you plugged it in at home? About a day! And there are a couple of other problems with the Taycan, starting .
.
with its size.
It's not a 5 series sized car or a 3 series sized car, it's sort of in between, which means the back seats really aren't very big at all.
And the rear shelf is really high.
I mean, there must be some electrical gubbins under there, which means there's a tiny pillar-box view out the rear.
And then there's the name.
Because this fastest Taycan is called the Turbo S.
You can't give an electric car a turbo charger.
That badge .
.
is fake news.
No - according to Porsche, turbo doesn't mean turbo any more.
It's now just means .
.
really fast.
So, the question for the Taycan Turbo S is just how "really fast" is it? Right, Mr Electric Porsche, launch control.
So, I go Sport Plus, maximum response, left foot on the brake, right foot on the throttle and here we go.
Oh, my Lord! That's fast! It's just done 90 and 100 miles an hour.
120 100 and Allow me to be a little bit speechless.
It's relentless! This thing will go from a standing start to the speed limit on a motorway in about three seconds.
If that's not fast enough for you .
.
go and take up base jumping or something.
Wow.
And while most electric cars, after that sort of launch, have to go and cool down for a bit before having another go, with its higher voltage and clever motors, the Taycan can do the big acceleration thing again Wow! .
.
and again.
That's 120mph.
Jeepers! .
.
and again.
Oh! It hurts my kidneys! Better still, Porsche has pulled every engineering trick in the book to make sure the Taycan is also like no other electric car through the corners.
TYRES SCREECH Woohoo! It's got rear-wheel steering, it's got torque vectoring, it's got electromechanical roll stabilisation.
The upshot is, it goes like a Porsche round a track! TYRES SCREECH TYRES SCREECH Wow! This thing weighs 2.
4 tonnes.
That's more than a Range Rover! It has no right to drive like this, to accelerate, stop, and change direction the way it does.
TYRES SCREECH We just did a smoker.
We just did a smoker in a Porsche! I've never done that in an electric car before.
Wow! OK, you've got my attention now, Porsche, you've got my attention.
This has not been done before.
Make no mistake.
In this brave new world of electric cars, the Taycan is properly ground-breaking.
It's slidey.
Oh! It isn't just an incredible achievement The work that must have gone in! .
.
nor is it just the best engineered, best driving electric car ever made.
Woohoo! I love it! No.
The Taycan is also absolute proof that our electric future won't just be fast, it'll be seriously .
.
exciting.
Electric skids, I've got a new favourite sport.
Whoa! TYRES SCREECH APPLAUSE Wow.
Wow.
- Now - So good.
Listen, do you want us all to go and you and the car just get a room together, because you really love it? It's fantastic, Paddy.
Honestly, it's the best car I've driven in ages.
We've known for a long time that electric cars can be stupid fast, but this is stupid fast and beautifully built and it's fun to drive.
It's a game changer.
Anyway, we need to find out how fast the Taycan goes round our track.
After Chris tested it, we sent The Stig out to do a lap.
Have a look at this.
Watch this now off the line.
Within three seconds, Stig's kidneys will be in the back-seat.
Look at the way it goes.
Even scoots down at the back like a hyena.
Already he's doing 80, 90, probably 110mph.
Look how flat it is.
It looks absolutely slammed into the surface.
Four-wheel drive, so traction is immense.
I mean, it just looks brutal.
It's pulling performance out of the road that shouldn't be there.
Stig looks composed, as ever.
Out of Chicago using all the width of the circuit.
Listen to that noise as well, a very distinctive sound, it's a new sound, but I like it.
It's fast.
That little wiggle before hammerhead.
Again, look at the lack of body roll.
Look at the way the suspension is just compressing minutely and giving traction.
This car is so impressive.
We've not seen anything like it.
Rear end wants to come round into the follow-through, Stig controls it nicely through the tyre wall.
Oh, God, that looks fast.
A bit of oversteer, as well.
Second to last, the most difficult corner on our track, spots his turning point and the thing just darts straight in.
Super flat, superfast, and now Gambon.
That is impressive.
That is impressive.
APPLAUSE Wow.
Great lap, that.
Great lap.
Chris, that did look quick, but where do you think we're looking at on our lap board? - It's got to be around here, hasn't it? Surely? - Yeah, easily.
Well, I've got the time.
And I can tell you, the Porsche Taycan went round in one minute .
.
17.
6.
So, it's the same as a Honda NSX.
- APPLAUSE - That is so impressive.
- Wow! - I am happy with that.
- That is mad.
So, first of all, the grudge match, it's absolutely nailed the Model 3 Tesla, it's smashed that.
It's beating our previous super saloon by a massive margin and underneath there, well, it's the same speed as Honda's supercar and it's a 2.
4 tonne electric saloon.
It's hugely impressive.
Unbelievable.
Now, it's time to get back to our big Peruvian adventure, where we are about to get high, really high.
Day three of our original American road trip.
And our little convoy was running along beautifully.
Whoa! I'm only in third gear, boys! Wahey! Go on, the Dart.
This thing is flying.
This is good.
I think this is the fastest I've been, so far.
Must be touching 50.
I'm going to get past these lads.
Oh! Oh TYRES SCREECH HORNS BLARE CHRIS LAUGHS He's got a new lease of life.
I looked in my rear-view mirror and I saw an allotment hurtling towards me! Having crossed the soaring Abra Malaga Pass the day before, the end of our journey in the Vilcabamba mountains was now within easy reach.
And to make the most of our excellent progress, the producers told us there was time to stop off to check out some local motorsport.
Whoa! What is this? That looks dangerous to me.
Watch this fella hanging off now, watch him round the corners.
Look at that! He's got one leg off.
This is a Peruvian invention called motocar cross.
Sitting somewhere between sidecar and traditional motocross racing, the driver and passenger work as a team to take the fastest possible line over the dirt, all the while maintaining a refreshingly relaxed attitude to safety.
- Oh, that'll shy! - Oh! - Oh! Wow.
It looks like a really, really novel way to hurt yourself.
- Hola.
- Hi.
- Hola.
- Hola.
We've got you a drive in the next race.
There you go, you knew it.
Yes, to give us a proper taste of this utter lunacy, we'd now take turns being hunted down by the locals.
LION ROARS Starting from the front of the pack, we'd each head out to drive two laps with a pro on the back and our aim would be to try and avoid being overtaken or maimed.
So, on a scale of one to ten, how likely are we to crash? I'm going up to an eight.
Yeah, same here.
And as the most experienced racer, apparently I was up first.
Good luck, Chris.
Nice knowing you, Chris.
Go on, Chris! Come on! Come on! He's having a go, here, Harris, isn't he? Oh, blimey.
Ooh! Go on, Harris.
He's holding them off.
Oh, this is brutal.
One lap down Go on, Harris! .
.
and Harris was keeping his nose in front.
Oh, God! But then Ooh! - No, he's getting taken.
- Yeah, he has.
Oh! Aah! - There'll be a list of excuses.
- Yeah.
I can't see where I'm going! To give him his due, though, by the end of his run, Harris had managed to drop just three places I'm knackered! - .
.
and McGuinness - Let's do it.
.
.
was up next.
He's going to give it some down here.
Go on, Pad.
Go on, Pad.
ENGINES ROAR PADDY LAUGHS Wah-hey-hey-hey! He's going to go straight on.
He's going too fast.
Whoa-ho! Whoa-ho! Whoa-ho-ho-ho! He was nearly off then.
It's quite quick and it just doesn't want to go round corners.
Very easy to tip it over, as well, I think.
Oh, brilliant.
Somewhere in the dust and chaos, amazingly McGuinness had only been overtaken once.
And unfortunately for Flintoff, that meant, as he headed out, the local pros were out for blood.
You took him on the bend! They're coming on the inside.
No, no, no! No! He can't see! Look at the dust! Look at the dust! - That's horrible! - Oh, Fred, come on! The pros had piled on I can't see a thing.
.
.
and buried down in the middle of the pack, I had no chance.
What sort of sport is this? Go on, Fred! Go on! I can't see a BLEEP thing! I don't think he saw me.
Jeez! This is horrible.
Mate, that was harsh.
- I couldn't see - Oh, Jesus Christ! - Ugh! And with that, it was time to leave the world of motocar cross firmly behind Bell-end.
.
.
and get back on the road.
Well, at least I'm back in the Camper and it's running well.
My happy place.
That's the thing about this car.
Everything just slows down.
Your speed on the road, you get a chance to look around - but your mood, as well.
Whoops-a-daisy.
Whoops-a-daisy.
Oh, you prick.
I'm in the wrong gear.
HORNS BEEP There we go.
Sorry.
Even that, I've had an absolute shocker there.
Who cares? Wahey! Just as Flintoff got back to his happy place, though, we discovered it was going to be a tough afternoon.
Boys, there's a challenge card there.
Come on.
What have we got? "Welcome to the Vilcabamba mountains.
"End of the road for the Incas - but not for you.
"To end your original American road trip, "you will now attempt to reach the top "of the fearsome Abra Yanama Pass, "one of the most dangerous roads in the world.
" Course it is.
"You must ALL" - that's in capitals, that bit - "make it to the top.
" We're going up there? That's in the clouds.
It's in the clouds.
What are they? Altimeters.
Right.
The Abra Yanama Pass is a rough gravel track that climbs to an altitude of over 4,500 metres.
Higher than any road in Europe, any road in North America, frankly, it was hard to see how any of our cars would make it to the summit.
All we could do was head off uphill to find out.
CRUNCH Ooh! CRUNCH Ooh, dear.
Right, OK.
The car is so hot and the fumes are blowing in.
Even with the windows down, it's not doing it.
I'm going to have to do old school like this.
I say old school.
I've never done it in my life.
What is he doing? The roads are getting narrower.
DOOR CLATTERS AGAINST VERGE Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Over in the Camper, meanwhile, having already struggled at altitude earlier in the trip, overnight, Flintoff had been busy working on a secret weapon.
Are you using the secret weapon yet, Fred? No, not necessary yet.
It's running so well.
I'm looking forward to seeing this.
And as luck would have it, Fred's Camper soon gave us the opportunity to take a look.
Oh, you're winding me up.
It cut out.
Everything OK, gentlemen? Do me a favour.
Before you do that Get your secret weapon on.
.
.
keep the comedian at the front.
I've just come down to help.
- Where is the secret weapon, by the way? - There.
What, that plastic tub? Yeah, it's some washer fluid, I think.
Yeah, go on.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS OK, wait there, Fred.
Wait there.
There's some pressure coming out of the crankcase here.
There's this thing Problems aside, can I just say, I've been looking in the back there and I've been very excited - you've been saying about this - I've not switched it on yet.
- No, I know, but I've just seen it.
He's just shown it to me.
It's a plastic bottle with a bit of washer fluid in it.
Paddy! Paddy! Is now the time to shatter his dream? OK, try it again.
ENGINE TURNS OVER - Yes.
- Are we off? He's broken down, you've started taking the mickey out of his special system.
No, I was looking forward to seeing it.
I didn't think it was going to be a sample bottle.
- I think you're being unfair there.
- Yeah, you're right.
This is going to be thrilling.
I think we got off on the wrong foot.
We've started being mean to each other again.
I didn't mean to say you had a piss pot in the back.
- So - Is that an apology? That's PADDY CHUCKLES That is the new Paddy McGuinness.
Yeah, he needs to work on his apologetic skills, though.
THEY LAUGH I'll go and do it again straight.
Go on.
I, er He's had a word there and to be fair Look me in the eyes when you're doing it.
THEY LAUGH BLEEP.
Let's get in the cars.
I'll never be able to do it.
BLEEP.
Piss pot! With still no clue what Flintoff had actually stuck in the back of his car, we carried on climbing.
Oh, Jesus! That's my rear view gone.
1,800 metres now and we're already well beyond anything in the British Isles and I'm not struggling for power.
This bodes well.
Jesus! Oh! Yes, baby.
The engine's getting so hot, so on that last stop I just opened the flap just to cool it down.
Wow, look at this.
Oh, that is grim.
That's a massive amount of earth and rock that's flown down there.
Oh! Go on, Cutlass.
Now past 2,500 metres and all three cars were still marching on.
Engine's still pulling nicely.
I definitely notice the fact the air's thinning, though.
Oh, it's just getting a bit jumpy now.
I don't know if the altitude's starting to take effect.
It's time, I think.
Time to turn on the secret weapon.
So, we pulled over and braced ourselves for the big moment.
It's time.
Round the back.
Are you ready? We're ready.
Stand back.
This is going to be good, this.
Ooooh! Wahey! - Oh, it's got a red light.
- Yeah, look at that.
The red light's very impressive.
- I like that.
- Not the sample thing.
I'm going to be right up the back of you now, lads.
OK, what my secret weapon actually does is get more oxygen into the engine to help performance.
The bottle's full of water, you pass a current through the water and it separates it into hydrogen and oxygen.
Feed that oxygen into the engine and it runs better.
Simple.
Running nicely.
Slow progress but this is what the VW wants.
And with Fred's car now doing whatever it was doing, next HORN BEEPS Who's beeping? It was the Cutlass that was starting to complain.
HORN BEEPS BEEPING CONTINUES What?! Will you shut up? This Cutlass has got a mind of its own.
Oh, BLEEP.
Oh, my door! Oh, God.
More than can be said of its driver.
BEEPING CONTINUES What's that, Cutlass? BEEPING CONTINUES Chris Harris is a bell-end? Yeah, I know he is.
DOOR HITS VERGE Whoa! ENGINE SPLUTTERS Jesus.
That was very close, McGuinness.
Very, very close.
Too close, in fact.
The Cutlass needed a redesign.
There she goes! Oh, hey, there's some weight in it, isn't there? - That's a heavy door, that.
- Are you all right? I've just watched two Northerners wreck a car.
Now well past the halfway point and heading into the steepest section of the pass, all three cars were coping well with the climb .
.
until, without warning ENGINE FALTERS Oh, God.
Just lost my clutch, I think.
Yeah, I've got no drive.
Left pedal's gone.
That's not an easy fix.
No.
It was doing so well.
I had no fears about the engine and the gearbox, the transmission.
But I thought the chassis would let go.
But it's the clutch.
- What are you going to do, mate? - Erm Tow it up there.
Tow it? I'm not sure about that.
I'm not sure who's going to tow it.
Come on.
Work with me here.
You can't abandon the Dart.
Come on.
We could.
HORN BEEPS INTERMITTENTLY And we did.
HORN BEEPS Now, technically, we're still within the rules cos it's about all three of us getting up there.
Yeah, for the second time as in as many trips abroad, Harris had killed his car and it was now down to the Cutlass and the Camper to get us up to the top of the pass.
Come on CUTLASS HORN BEEPS Fred, you OK? Starting to lose a little bit of power but we're all right.
Yeah, this thing, if it idles, it doesn't go fast enough so you have to go quick to get round the tight bits.
You're not going to make - You're not going to make that, you're not - Yes, I am! Come on.
3,998.
HORN BEEPS 4,000 metres! Raise your hands! HORN BEEPS Don't get too excited, lads.
We're still going.
Let's celebrate at the top.
HORN BEEPS 650 metres to climb and we were now heading into the clouds.
It's getting colder and it's getting damper.
Come on, the VDub.
You are an unbelievable machine.
Look at that rock.
Yeah, avoid that.
Don't straddle it! UNDERCARRIAGE SCRAPES ROCK Why have you done that? That's now stuck underneath us.
Oh, Paddy, come on.
Don't stop there, son.
That is the most stupid thing you've ever done.
BLEEP sake.
If you slow me down and stop I can't get going again, lads.
- BLEEP.
Paddy, stop! Whoa! - BUMPERS CRUNCH Jeez, I didn't know he was even there.
Why didn't you tell me you were behind me, you bell-end?! He's right behind you.
Oh, too late now! The altitude was beginning to take its toll .
.
and if we were going to reach the top of the pass, from here on out we had to keep moving.
HORN BEEPS - Whoa! - Whoa! Where's he come from? - All right, boss? - You all right? What are you doing up here? My wipers don't work! But surely the end is in sight.
4,300, Fred.
That's the highest I've been in a car.
HORN BEEPS Keep going.
How can we still have 300 metres to go? It feels like we are in the gods at the moment.
HORN BEEPS Come on, the Cutlass! HORN BEEPS No way that van's getting up there, is there? Come on! ENGINE STRAINS I think that helped.
It bloody has, as well.
Amazing.
HORN BEEPS Come on! Who would have thought? I'm over 4,400 metres up in a Volkswagen Camper and it's not giving up! Come on! 4,454, Fred.
I'm out of breath.
No, come on.
Come on.
Don't do this to me now! Not now! ENGINE FADES Where is he? We've lost him.
Can you see him? ENGINE RUMBLES - I can see him.
I can see him.
I can see him.
- Where? - There.
That little blue speck there.
Come on! Get in, my son! Yes! Keep going.
There'll be hippies everywhere shouting at the telly urging us on.
Is that the summit? Yes, that's the summit.
Yes! Over 4,600 metres up Oh, look at that.
.
.
we broke out of the cloud and reached Lads! .
.
the top of the pass.
Made it! Oh-ho-ho! It's only gone and got here! - We've only gone and done it.
- Gone and done it.
We've only gone and done it.
I cannot believe that that has got up there.
- Look at that.
- I am surprised that Wow, look at that.
Top of the world.
Is it fair to say that a VW Camper and a Cutlass have never been as high ever? - Never.
- Never.
- Never.
Hey, just remembered something, lads.
Bit dusty! We've done our all-American road trip, boys! Whoo! Rootin' tootin' done it! Whoo! All right! Whoo! - Are you done? - I think so.
Yeehaw! Lovely.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE That was good fun.
Yeah.
Good fun.
Now, as you can see, the cars are not here, and that's because they've worked their little socks off.
We felt bad dragging them halfway across the world.
Better give them a nice gentle retirement in the country they call home.
And also because they were completely wrecked and we couldn't drive them any further.
Yeah, there is that, too.
Yeah.
But even though they're not here, we need to decide who chose the best American road trip car.
And it's obviously between me and Fred.
Chris, yours didn't even make it up the hill.
- Hang on.
- Yours is long gone.
The first car you bought didn't last ten miles.
You can't just buy a car, wreck it, then buy another car and wreck it.
You're literally describing every Top Gear trip we do, to be honest.
LAUGHTER Paddy, there's only one winner here.
It's the car that started at the start and the only one which made it to the end.
The mighty VW Bus.
CHEERING Come on! He knows.
So what you're saying is, - the best American road trip car isn't American - Yeah.
- .
.
and it's not even a car? - Yeah.
Helpful as ever, lads.
Fair enough.
That's all for tonight.
We'll be back next week when these two compete in the brutal Baja 1000 off-road race, and I get myself a Lamborghini for the price of a Renault.
See you, then.
Goodnight.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE