Totally Spies! (2001) s01e02 Episode Script

The New Jerry

THEME SONG: Here we go.
Getting on a roll until we stop.
And then we'll shop.
So one, two, three,
now, baby, here we go.
Here we go.
HEre we go.
On a mission, undercover,
and we're in control.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Totally Spies, mm, yeah,
get on with the show.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
[music playing]
New WOOHP state of
the art technology?
The evapoblaster's Nothing
but a glorified hair dryer.
I agree.
That mission was totally lame.
I mean, avalanche patrol?
What are we?
Spies or forest Rangers?
Apparently we're
goat babysitters.
ALEX: I thought this whole spy
gig was supposed to be fun.
So much for the days of exciting
missions and exotic places.
At least we can be psyched
about our big snowboarding trip
this weekend.
What do you say we forget about
Jerry and his boring missions
and focus on what
is really important?
Oh, it's fabulous.
But, don't you think it's
a bit tight for snowboarding?
It's hardly any
of your business.
Now bug off.
[music playing]
JERRY: Ahem.
Alex here.
Alex, I've noticed
your grades have slipped.
So I've arranged for you to
be tutored by our top WOOHP
scholar every day after school.
No need to thank me.
I'm just happy to
help where I can.
SAM: OK, being a
spy has just gone
from mundane to ridiculous.
We can't even get ready for our
trip without Jerry bugging us.
Tell me about it.
That man is the absolute worst.
We should definitely give
him a piece of our minds.
I totally agree.
It's high time we
put our feet down.
Well, you know what they
say, no time like the present.
OK, Jerry, enough is enough.
That That's right.
We're sick of you butting
into our personal lives.
Yeah, and no more treating
us like little girls.
Do I make myself c-- cl-- clear?
Crystal clear.
Hello, girls.
I'm Mac Smit, your
new WOOHP guardian.
Your our new guardian?
What-- what happened to Jerry?
Jerry decided after 35
wonderful years with WOOHP
that it was time he
worked on his golf game.
He's retired.
- It's true, ladies.
I have indeed retired.
I am, however,
confident that I've
left you in very capable hands.
Max should prove to
be a fine replacement.
So, does this mean we're never
going to see you again, Jer?
Sorry, I can't help you.
I'm retired.
I can't believe Jerry retired.
It seems like just yesterday
he was invading our privacy
and majorly getting
on our nerves.
Well, we'll have plenty of
time to get acquainted later,
Right now I need you to gather
around because I have a really
important mission for you.
This guy's going to be a pain
in the butt just like Jerry.
And the first thing
you'll need for this mission
is an official WOOHP
platinum credit card.
Did you just say
platinum credit card?
That's right.
WOOHP gave me a couple of
new cards this morning.
Your first mission
is to go shopping
on the organization's dime.
I know this fabulous new
department store in Paris.
But what about our gadgets?
Jerry always gives us gadgets.
OK, here's the
parasol cross-bow,
the backpack jet pack, the
crime scene scanner watch,
the tornado in a
can of hairspray,
and a tube of immobilizing
stun tan lotion.
Have fun.
CLOVER: It's official,
Mac's the best,
the total, ultimate coolest.
You can say that again.
But he's also so cool and smart.
I'm going to call Jerry
to see what he might
like for a retirement gift.
Hey, Jer?
It's Alex.
Just wondering what you
might like as a retirement--
Sorry, I can't help you.
I'm retired.
Rude much?
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, Jerry's loss
is totally our gain.
Maybe I'll buy a gift for Mac.
After all, a little generosity
could go a long way.
What the?
Run for it.
Oh, man.
What a waste.
Those were cashmere.
Time for a little retaliation.
[music playing]
OK, that's a little
more purchasing
power than I was looking for.
We better get back to WOOHP
and tell Mac what happened.
CLOVER: Nice suit.
Woe, back so soon?
Yeah, we had a little
problem with the credit card.
Not that we didn't totally
appreciate you giving it to us.
Was it declined or something?
It attacked us with its
whirling saw blades of death.
We barely made it out
of the store alive.
Um, for you.
Sorry I didn't have time
to get it gift wrapped.
Ah, you girls
can't be serious.
Unfortunately, we are serious.
And so is the $200,000 bill
for damages you'll be receiving
from the department store.
Doesn't it even bother you
that we were almost shredded
by a killer credit card?
SAM: Alex, Mac is
a seasoned agent.
He's probably been in so many
dangerous situations stuff
like this doesn't
even phase him.
Girls, I apologize.
You've got to let me
make this up to you.
How about a cliff diving
adventure in Acapulco?
I think we've had enough
international excitement
for one day.
Well, then the
least I can do is
offer you a ride home in style.
Take my brand new
Turbo Titan 3,000 XT.
Just bought it yesterday.
Still has that new car smell.
ALL: Wow.
Well if you insist.
This is totally awesome.
I mean, could Mack
possibly be anymore money.
He's got the brains, he's got
cute, and his car's the bomb.
Tell me about it.
This car practically
drives itself.
Ooh, sunglasses.
What do we need
sunglasses for?
It's night time.
It's not a question
of function, Alex.
It's a question of fashion.
ALL: Woe!
Woe, I guess this
car really is the bomb.
I wonder what could
have caused this.
I think the question is,
who could have caused this?
ALEX: What is it?
SAM: A fingerprint.
A fingerprint that belongs
to a criminal named Tim Scam.
Man, his rap sheets
longer than Clover's list
of past boyfriends.
Well, almost.
We should warn Mack.
I mean, first the evil
credit card, and now this.
I think this Tim
guy's after him.
Huh, there's no answer.
Then I guess we better
get to WOOHP and warn him.
And how exactly are
we going to do that?
Yeah, in case you
forgot, our ride exploded.
CLOVER: Well, if we
can't drive, let's fly.
Where could he be?
I don't know, but we should
at least leave him a note.
That says what?
Mac, FYI, in addition to
turning your credit card
into a whirling blade
of death, some psycho
also blew your car into a
billion pieces of scrap metal.
By the way, let's do lunch.
Check this out, a schematic
drawing of the evapoblaster
and a file on Tim Scam.
That's weird.
Why would Mac have those?
Unless he knows that
Tim Scam is after him.
Wait a second, this is
a WOOHP employee file.
That's impossible.
That would mean that--
Tim Scam used
to work at WOOHP.
According to these records
he was a WOOHP weapons
technician 20 years ago.
But it says here he was
fired for illegal use
of WOOHP technology.
What a creep.
We better call Jerry.
I'm sure he remembers Tim Scam.
After all, he worked
here for like 90 years.
Jerry, you've got to help us.
There's a crazy--
Sorry, I can't help you.
I'm retired.
Tres Uncouth.
I mean, I don't care if he is
retired, this is an emergency.
Wait a second.
Sorry, I can't help you.
I'm retired.
I knew it.
This isn't live.
This is on a tape loop.
A tape loop?
Now why did Jerry do that?
He wouldn't.
But someone else might.
Someone like Tim Scam.
Hold it right there.
It's him.
Maybe we could use something
in here to give him the slip.
I get a ticket every
time I drive my car.
How am I supposed to drive
any of these crazy things.
How hard can this be to drive?
What the?
Anti-gravity cycle.
No time for driving lessons.
[music playing]
As if my hair isn't
brittle enough.
I never realized how
creepy this place is.
I'm glad we work
outside the office.
[music playing]
I think we lost him.
Hm, guess you don't need
that wheel after all.
Follow my lead.
Where are we?
BOTH: Mac.
That's strange.
Why would someone
outfit the evapoblaster
with a missile guidance system.
We're so happy it's you
and not that crazy Tim Scam.
Yeah, he's been chasing us all
over WOOHP, and he's after you.
Hmm, by the way, do
you girls still have
your stun tan lotion on you?
So what are we going
to do about Tim scam?
Hey, did you know that your
name backwards spells Tim Scam.
Woe, that is a
weird coincidence.
You're Tim Scam.
Thank goodness
you're all right.
I was so worried that
Tim Scam got to you.
Not so fast.
Ugh, call emergency.
I need a deep tissue
massage right this second.
Make it two.
Hey, where's that jerk
MAC Smit, or Tim Scam,
or whatever his name is.
Forget about that jerk.
Where are we?
Try to relax and
enjoy the ride, girls.
Why did you bring us out here?
And what do you
plan to do with that?
Why, I'm going to
use it to evaporate
the entire Earth's water from
the safety of my space ship.
I got to say, even
for a complete psycho
like you, that's still
a really crazy idea.
Thank you.
We read your WOOHP file.
We know all about
your criminal past.
WOOHP never did appreciate
me for the genius that I am.
Drop the money.
We've got you surrounded.
SAM: I can't believe I
actually thought you were cool.
You seem so smart.
But now I see you're
just another immature,
run of the mill terrorist.
We're, like, so over.
Yeah and you can just forget
about your crazy little plan.
Because you're going to
have to deal with us first.
OK, you're dealt with.
Oh, and while you're out
there, tell Jerry I said hello.
[music playing]
Finally, my weapons
can be put to good use.
[sirens wailing]
Oh, no.
He already started.
We got to stop him.
What do you think Scam meant
by, tell Jerry I said hello.
ALL: Jerry!
Now it all makes sense.
Tim Scam blasted Jerry out
here so he can take Jerry's
place and gain access to WOOHP.
We've got to get to Jerry
before he runs out of oxygen.
But how are we supposed
to get over to him?
Wait, I've got it.
Great idea.
What's your idea?
I'm going to use
the tornado in a can
to give us a little kick.
I guess I had the can
turned the wrong way.
CLOVER: We did it.
We hooked up to Jerry's pod.
Now take us back
to the mother ship.
It's a good thing
there's no gravity out here
or Jerry would be out of luck.
Come on, Jerry.
You've got at least a
couple more years in you.
Jerry's going to be just fine.
Come on.
Where could he be?
Judging by that
floating ocean out there,
I'd say can't be far.
We've got to find
the evapoblaster
and send that water
back to Earth.
MAC SMIT: I've got your
evapoblaster right there.
The one day I forget
my moisturizer.
What is this?
Let me out of here.
ALL: Jerry!
Don't you remember?
I think this was your
best weapon ever.
You look like you could use
some liquid refreshment.
Thanks so much for
saving us, Jerry.
Yeah, I almost feel bad for
calling you a boring old goat.
You called me a what?
No time to explain.
We've got to get that
water back to Earth.
Let me out of here.
SAM: So, we missed
our snowboarding trip,
but at least we saved the world.
And we saved Jerry.
I never thought I'd admit
it, but I was really starting
to miss that old goat--
I mean, mature guy.
Good evening, ladies.
Just wanted to stop
by and officially
thank you for saving my life.
Don't sweat it.
After all, you saved
our lives, too.
Still, I did want to
properly show my appreciation.
And so, I'm sending you
on a surprise ski trip
to St. Moritz.
But first, I have a
mission for you girls.
I need you to train the
entire WOOHP canine division.
That is of course, after
you do your homework
and clean your rooms.
And I've got some
filing I need have done.
- No.
- Not again.
[music playing]
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