Trailer Park Boys s12e05 Episode Script

Just gonna get this picnic basket loaded on! Last item going on! Gonna spend the day by myself, - just me and my kitties! - [cats meowing.]
Hmm, yeah! Just me by myself! Nothing important happened on this day in history, that's for sure.
Don't need anybody.
I can have fun, just me and you guys.
We're gonna have a good day, aren't we, Burton Cummings? You be good, Conway Kitty.
Yeah, okay! The fun train is pulling out of the station! Last chance to climb aboard! [man.]
Would you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to sleep! Yeah, okay.
That's it, then.
I'm leaving! Here I go! Leaving this area where we all live together, as best friends to be by myself.
Nothing special about today, that's for sure.
- [man.]
Shut the fuck up! - [Bubbles whimpers.]
[theme music.]
Glen, get the fuck over here.
See this right here? See this caulking? It's decaying.
At any time this window could pop out and kill somebody.
What's that got to do with me, though? [scoffing.]
What what if a family were to come in here, okay? Walk by here with their kids, and all of a sudden, boom! The window pops out and kills everybody, huh? - [static.]
- Good to go, bud, good to go.
Huh? How would you feel about I can't fucking believe you, man.
[Glen.]
I care if a family gets killed but - how is that my problem? - How is that your problem? - I just work here.
- [Ricky on walkie.]
landed in the garden - [beep.]
- Get the fuck over here.
Come see this.
Today is Bubbles' birthday, so Ricky and I are trying to plan something really cool for him.
I mean, the past few years, we've been in jail and last year we totally fucking forgot about it, which was a nightmare.
So today we have this surprise party planned for him.
You know, Trin and Sarah, they've been gearing things up all morning.
Now I just have to get him his gift.
And this gift I'm giving him, it's gonna blow his fucking mind.
I can't wait till he gets it.
All right, kids.
You guys ready to borrow this rocket - for Bubbles' birthday? - [kids.]
Yeah! [child.]
Careful! Oh my God.
Be careful.
I mean, look at this shit.
This is way worse than the last fucking window.
I cannot believe nobody's been fucking killed yet in here.
This isn't even my store, though.
- I'm just confused now.
- Confused about what? I don't know.
I just don't see where you're coming from, dude.
- Do you know why? - Why? Because you're fucking dumb, Glen.
That's why.
Shouldn't you be talking to Bobby anyways? This is just fucked.
Hey, hey, hey! You do not walk away from a security officer.
Right here! Get back here! Hey, Julian.
Gary, hey, buddy You weren't supposed to be back until next week.
Yeah, I know.
The guy giving the course, he had he had a heart attack, the lucky bastard.
So they they cut it short.
- What's going on here? - [static.]
The pigeons have the cucumber.
I repeat, the pigeons have the cucumber.
- We're making our way out of the store.
- [beep.]
Who was that? Was that Ricky? Yeah, he he just bought a walkie.
He figured out the frequencies and he's just been fucking around with me, but I'm on it.
Ricky, Gary, my boss, he's back unexpectedly here.
- [Ricky.]
Back, back.
- How am I supposed to do a good job when you keep coming in and driving me crazy? You know how serious I am about this job, Ricky.
Come on.
Can you please stop fucking around, embarrassing me? [beep.]
So you want the pigeons to put the cucumber back on the shelf? - Or what the fuck do you want here? - [beep.]
I don't know what you're talking about, pigeons and cucumbers, but yeah, okay, I'll play along with you.
Put it back and fly the pigeons the fuck out of here, okay? Okay! [beep.]
Back on the shelf, put it back on the shelf.
Now what the fuck are we supposed to do, Julian, huh? Fuck's sakes! All right.
You know what? You tell Gary he can polish the shaft and the tip of my cock with his fucking tongue.
- [beep.]
- Ricky, you stay off of our frequencies! They're restricted.
And you better not be in this mall, Ricky, because you're banned and you know it! - [feedback.]
- [Ricky.]
Hey, Gary, turn the fuck around.
[beep.]
[Gary.]
Out! Or I'm calling the cops! Take it, Gary, right down to the base.
- You take You know you want it! - Really? - It won't happen again, I promise.
- Really? I know, okay.
I'm just I've got to make my rounds.
Okay? I'll talk to you in a bit.
[thud.]
I don't care if it is your money, bud.
We're not hiring him.
He was the dumbest cop on the force.
And not only that, he's dirty.
You know, I might have been a drunk but I was never dirty.
But he's the only one that responded to the ad, Mr.
Lahey.
- I think we should give him a chance.
- No way! He's a goddamn loser, Randy! Look, guys I'm desperate here, I've got nothing.
I've been living in Ray's old place down at the dump.
Yeah, well, you can rot down there as far as I'm fucking concerned, George.
Mr.
Lahey, have some compassion.
When has this piece of shit ever shown me any compassion, Randy? He's the guy who got me kicked off the fucking force.
[sighing.]
Please, Jim.
What? I could really use the money.
Yeah, well, couldn't we all? Look, the ad said "experienced".
You're not fucking experienced, George! I was a cop.
I think I can handle it.
Yeah.
You were a goddamn shitty cop, George, and you couldn't handle it and that's why you're standing right here.
It's fate, George.
It's the karmic wheel of shit, flinging shit balls all over.
You know, it's like the fucking all of those little fucking shit magnets in your head, George, are fucking around because they're caught in the shit wheel and fucking flinging those little shit axioms in your dendrites and they're fucked over.
That's all it is.
- Mr.
Lahey.
- What?! If you do this for me, I'll do that special thing you like.
Oh Oh.
Okay, well then Okay, George, I'll tell you what, 100 bucks a week and you can live in the shed out back.
I'll take it.
Good.
Uh, Randy, uh grab the pepper grinder and, uh and some dish soap, uh See you, George.
There, see.
This isn't so bad.
We're gonna have a great day at the park, just like I promised.
Look at all the people here, having fun with their friends.
That's what I'm doing too.
Having fun with my friends.
You guys have a snack.
- Oh, look.
Look at this.
- [meow.]
I brought your favourite catnips, all four of them.
I got the bubble maker here.
You guys can play with this.
- [fan whirring.]
- [laughs.]
Yeah, this is pretty good.
I don't need anybody but you guys.
And we're gonna have the perfect day.
Let's get at it.
- [sniff.]
- Oh, for fuck's sakes, guys! Who pissed on the sandwiches? [meowing.]
[click.]
Fuck's sakes, the whole basket! [sigh.]
This is everything we had on us and everything Sarah had on her.
- This is like 60 bucks between yous.
- Well, Sarah had 58 of it, Jacob had 2.
- I had nothing, dude, but I helped.
- All right, here you go.
Sorry, Julian.
You don't have enough.
I'm aware of that, Glen.
It's 3 bucks, that's every cent I have.
I'm sorry but, if my cash comes up short, it comes out of my pocket.
It's, like, 3 fucking dollars.
I'll get you back.
So you want me to loan you 3 bucks? When do you get paid? In a couple of weeks.
[laughing.]
Oh, my fuck.
Okay, I'll go get a fucking advance for 3 dollars! I'll tell you what.
I'll loan you 3 bucks, but you have to pay me 20 by the end of the day.
- 20 bucks? - And if not, 40 tomorrow.
You greasy motherfucker.
- 20 bucks interest a day? - Hmm.
Okay, fine, ring it in.
And I want your drink.
[laughing.]
You want my fucking drink, do you? Do you want the rocket? Get the fuck over here! Open up your goddamn yap! - Here, here's your fucking drink! - [gurgling, exhaling.]
All right, you guys head back and get that set up, okay? Get someone else to read the instructions though because you're too stupid to put this together.
Cool.
We've got this.
We should take these too.
They're dope.
Put those fucking things back! Boys, if you fuck this up, I'm gonna strap you to the goddamn thing and launch it.
- You got it? - [Cory.]
Yeah, dude.
I got it.
- Now get out.
- Both of us won't fit on it anyway.
Just set the fucking thing up.
- Don't forget your receipt.
- Oh, go fuck yourself, Glen! - Thanks for shopping at Bobby's Hobbies! - Fuck off.
[chatter on walkie.]
- [knocking.]
- Hey, Gare, how's it going, buddy? Look man, something's come up.
I need an advance on my paycheck, so - [laughing.]
- how do we make that happen? An advance on your paycheck! That's really funny.
- What? - Like, that's Carrot Top funny, because, actually, you know, we don't make that happen at all.
But here's what we can make happen.
How about you getting arrested, Julian? How does that sound? What the fuck are you talking about? Well, what would you say if I told you that we have you on tape, stealing? Multiple counts.
I'd say you're full of shit, considering someone broke in, stole all the fucking surveillance tapes for the past two weeks.
That's true.
But what that person, that someone didn't know, is that we have a backup system.
Oh, my fuck [sighing.]
So what now? I don't know, honestly, Julian, because I frankly don't fucking care.
- Fuck the mall! - [clattering.]
Fuck security! Fuck the ashram! And, while we're at it, Julian - [pounding table.]
- fuck you! So this is how we can handle this.
I can call the cops and bring them in here to take care of things, or you can come to me by the end of the day, with 1,000 bucks, cash.
Your choice.
[woman on walkie.]
Gary, someone shit on the floor in the food court.
[Gary.]
Mmm.
- Gary? - Mmm.
Yup, fun train's back! The fun train is back! Had the fucking best time ever! Best time ever, yeah, okay.
Nobody gives a fuck, eh? Okay, well, guess what? I don't give a fuck anymore either.
You know what, guys? We don't need this bullshit.
Let's get packed up.
We don't fucking need anything.
Move this whole operation down to the ocean.
All I need is you guys.
Take some fucking clothes some clothes and maybe one kitty toy and Red Sovine tape, kitty book [bassy music playing on car stereo.]
And my Wayne Gretzky card signed by Dave Semenko.
That's all I fucking need! [Tyrone.]
Yo, Bubs! Yo, happy birthday, motherfucker! Hey, T! What's going on? What's that? Holy fuck! Decent! Oh my fuck, that is decent! I can't believe you remembered my birthday.
- Thanks! - Nah, I didn't remember shit, man, I've been getting stoned as fuck lately, man.
But that's from Ricky and Julian.
What? What are you talking about? Look, all I know is I'm supposed to drive you.
So come on wit' yo candy.
And put this over your lookballs.
This is to cover your lookballs up.
What? That's my - that's my kitty sleep mask.
- Yeah, man.
- Like that? - Make sure you can't see behind there.
Surprise, surprise.
- [Tyrone.]
Let's roll.
- [excited grunt.]
Oh, boys! Gettin' excited! [chuckling.]
- You ready Bubbles, man? - Oh, I'm ready! - I'm ready! Are we there? - Man, you're gonna like this, man.
- We almost there? - We're almost here, my man.
- [Bubbles laughing.]
Oh, I'm excited! - Be excited.
Let's go.
- Oh, I am excited! - Jump out, dawg! It's so weird not being able to see anything.
I can't see anything.
Ooh! Oh, somebody's got me! Who else is here? Who else is here? Somebody's got a hold of me.
[Ricky, low-pitched voice.]
Uh, I don't know who it is.
[Bubbles giggling.]
Who's that? Okay, just wait now.
[grunt.]
- [Tyrone.]
Y'all ready man, or what? - I'm ready! I'm ready! [crowd.]
Happy birthday, Bubbles! - Holy fuck! - [cheering.]
- Oh, my God! - [laughter.]
I've never had a surprise party before! I thought everybody forgot what today was! No, man.
What are you, joking? We never forget this shit! - [Bubbles giggling.]
- I mean, we did forget last year but just because of a lot of fucking crazy drugs.
Nobody's ever gonna forget it again, Bubbles.
- Oh, decent! - Happy birthday! - Oh! - [Ricky.]
Yeah! - Thank you.
- You look adorable.
Thank you, Sarah.
Thank you.
Everybody's here! Everybody's here.
Where's Julian though? Well, that's the problem.
We're not sure.
He was supposed to be here long ago.
- I hope to fuck he's not dead.
- Dead? What? What are you What was he doing? That's the thing.
He wasn't doing anything.
It's just weird that he's not here by now.
And he's late, because He organized this whole fucking thing for you.
- He could've got killed, Bubs.
- [Bubbles sighing.]
Yeah, but, Ricky, why does your brain even go there? What I'm sure he's just running late, okay? - Oh! - Should we wait for him or? Well, yeah, we should wait for him.
No, fuck it.
- What do you mean? - Check this the fuck out! - [laughter, cheers.]
- Holy fuck! Holy fuck! LOC Patriot! - Eight foot four inches! - [crowd chanting.]
Bubbles! Bubbles! Holy fuck! And motor! 8,000 feet at apogee! [panting.]
You okay, buddy? You're not gonna have one of these strokey things, are you? No, Ricky.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! - Is this mine? - [Ricky.]
It's yours, buddy.
- [happy grunt.]
- [laughter.]
[Mr.
Lahey.]
Randy, you've gotta bet big if you wanna win big.
- When are you gonna - All right, Lahey! Money, now! Half the month's wages, that's the deal, and I'm taking an advance on next month's wages too! Julian, you can't just come barging in here! Oh, yes, I can, Randy.
As long as you two fuckheads owe me money, I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want! Julian, just calm down, buddy.
Let's talk about this.
Oh, let's talk What do you mean let's talk about it? Huh? One thousand dollars! I'm not leaving without it! Julian, this isn't the right way to go about - Get your fucking hands off me! - [George.]
Hey! Step the fuck away from Randy, Julian, now.
- What the fuck are you doing? - I'm working for them now.
And I'm giving you exactly three seconds to walk the fuck out of here.
Oh, what are you gonna do? Shoot me? - Huh? - [gun clicking.]
You wanna try me, Julian? Do you? 'Cause I've got absolutely nothing to fucking lose here! Absolutely fucking nothing! So go ahead, Julian! Make my fucking day better.
Fuck off.
It's "make my day," not "make my day better," fuckhead.
This isn't over, I want my fucking money! Get the fuck out of here.
[Mr.
Lahey mumbles indistinctly.]
That was really, really fucking impressive, George.
I should've fucking shot him.
We don't want anyone to get shot here.
Holy frig, you gotta calm down, George.
Yeah.
And you need to go on a diet, Randy, but it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen, does it? [chuckle.]
Looks like my job description just got a little broader, - wouldn't you say, Jim? - What do you mean, George? He said he's coming back.
I'm gonna have to deal with it.
- Yeah, well, Randy - [George screaming.]
I'm going to deal with it.
What do you want, George? Hah, it's 250 a week, like the ad said.
And I want a real fucking bed to sleep on out there.
And that's what happens when you hire a shit weasel, Randy.
We've got an air mattress.
Oh, fuck - Brrrap! - Yo, Julian! What's up, your boy! Yes, Julian! Happy birthday, buddy.
Sorry I'm late, man.
But what do you think of that fucking thing? - [Bubbles.]
Ho-ly fuck! - Yeah? Did we do good or what, man? You did fucking amazing! Thank you, Julian! Yeah, well, okay.
Enough with the mushy kiss-kiss.
Come on, let's get this fucking sucker launched already! - [crowd cheering.]
- Let's launch her! - Okay, boys, okay.
- [clicking.]
She's f Ricky! Ricky, what are you doing? Just making sure it works, the button does push.
You don't push the fucking l And, guys, back the fuck off! This is not a toy! That was unsafe, what we just did.
Okay, everybody, listen.
Okay? I know you're all tired, you've waited a long time but I I want to dedicate this launch.
I'm gonna dedicate it to each and every one of you guys, the residents of the Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
- Nice.
- You're all my friends and you're all my family, every one of yous.
- [crowd cheering.]
- Okay, so, are you ready to get this fucking thing in the air or what? - [crowd cheering.]
- [Ricky.]
Let's do it! Okay, let's just show you what you do here.
- See this? - That's a key.
- This goes in here.
- [click.]
Okay.
You hear that? That means she is lit, ready to go! Here we go! I want a big Sunnyvale countdown.
In 5 [crowd joins in.]
4, 3, 2, 1 - Launch! - [man.]
What the fuck? - [Bubbles.]
For fuck's sakes! - [Ricky.]
What the fuck? - Hang on.
Just wait.
- Lame! Well, just give me a minute now.
Bubbles, I know it would be splendid but, listen, we'll watch it at another time.
You're leaving? Oh, just Look, it'll take me I can put a new igniter in it.
Bubs, I'm sorry, we have to leave too.
Mo's getting really tired.
- Oh - High five? Look, Trin, it'll take me Boys, you guys are staying? Man, we got pitchers waiting at the T-box.
- Sorry, man, we out.
- Yeah, we out.
For fuck's sake, look.
[Sarah.]
Yeah, happy birthday.
I can put a new igniter in it.
Fuck, buddy.
You really fucked this up, didn't you? - What happened? - I don't know, Ricky.
It should be it should be going.
Well, don't worry about it.
It's not your fault you let everybody down.
When are you starting your job at Hallmark, Ricky? - Where? - Bubs, don't worry about it, okay? Don't let this ruin your birthday.
We'll figure it out, man.
Ruin my birthday? Yeah.
We'll figure it out.
Are you joking? Julian It wouldn't matter if the rocket exploded on the launch pad and fucking lit my balls on fire.
You know, the fact that you guys remembered my birthday and you went through all of this trouble - to make it a special day for me - Fucking right we did.
That's way more important to me than any fucking rocket could ever be, I just want you to know that.
- I love you guys.
Get in here.
- Love you too, buddy.
I love you.
There's nothing that could ruin this.
- There's no - [rocket hissing.]
[whooshing.]
Holy fuck! She went! Where is it, boys? I lost it.
- Where is it? - I don't know, maybe it blowed up, look at the fucking black smoke over there.
[Bubbles.]
Holy fuck! No, that wouldn't be That wouldn't be from that rocket.
You'd never get that much smoke, would you? We should get out of here just in case.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Let's go.
Okay, we've got to go find it, boys.
We're never gonna find that fucking thing! We can find it! We can find it! We're on a recovery mission! Let's go! I am fucking craving donairs and fucking some poutine.
You guys hungry? Ricky, we have to find my fucking rocket before someone else does.
Boys, I hope that didn't get too fucked up.
I think we should think about writing that thing off at this point, Bubs.
We're not writing it off! It's probably not that fucked up and, I mean, that's my prized possession, boys.
- What the fuck? - Oh, fuck, man! It's a roadblock! I've got a joint! Whip it around! Fuck! [Julian.]
How am I gonna whip this fucking thing around, huh? [Bubbles.]
Well, slow down Ricky, throw it out the fucking window.
We're good, we're good.
I got this.
Is that Ted? Oh, this is a fucking joke.
[Bubbles.]
Ricky, just throw the fucking [Ricky.]
We're good, boys, we're good.
- [Bubbles whimpers anxiously.]
- [brakes squeaking.]
- Whew, it smells like skunk in here.
[Ricky.]
It's probably your balls, Ted.
When was the last time you showered? Where are you boys coming from, anyway? We're actually just down at the Fuck Off convention at the Legion there.
Wondering if you'd come down to master the ceremonies.
- Yeah, yeah, very funny, Ricky.
- It's Bubbles' birthday.
We were playing space.
Like, what's going on here? Can we get through there or what? No.
Not right now.
There's been an attack.
- It's possibly terrorists.
- [Ricky.]
What? [Bubbles.]
What? Terrorists? What do you mean? Well, somebody shot down Steve Rogers' news helicopter with a missile.
What the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with people? Are you serious? [Bubbles.]
A missile? What kind of a missile? [Ted.]
We're not sure yet but we've got three witnesses say they saw a missile coming from the east and it took out the chopper.
That's all we know for now.
[Bubbles.]
Oh, my fuck, boys.
Is Steve okay? Well, the rescue crew is not on the crash site yet but from what we can see from above, it doesn't look good for survivors.
- [Julian.]
Fuck.
- Oh, my God! [Ricky.]
That's fucking terrible.
Poor Steve.
[Ted.]
Yeah, well, you guys cannot stay here, you can Well, you can stay here.
I don't know how long it's gonna be, but otherwise you've got to turn around Left something in the oven, my iron's on.
- So we're just gonna go back - Yeah, okay, Ricky.
Well, you know, we know your record for burning down your house.
We know your record for being a fucking idiot! [Bubbles whispering.]
Boys, boys We shot down Steve Rogers' helicopter! [Ricky.]
It may not have been us.
Ricky, how many people do you think have fired fucking missiles off today? It was us.
[Ricky.]
It would be a weird fucking coincidence, wouldn't it? Bubs, you've got to stop hogging my driveway, man.
I'm I get part of the fucking driveway too.
Do you think that's really the fucking important thing at hand right now? What the fuck are these two shit smears up to? [Cory.]
Yo, you guys hear about what happened? No.
What, did you start growing a fucking brain or something? Yeah, you wish, dude.
Terrorist attack.
We're going after them.
It wasn't fucking terrorists, you stupider than dumb idiots.
- It was fucking Bub - Ricky, Rick, Rick! Yeah, we heard about it.
How did you guys hear about it? It was all over the news.
Everyone's freaking out.
Oh, Jesus H.
Christ! [Trinity.]
Thank God, you're okay! Did you hear about what happened? Yeah.
Is there any update on Steve Rogers? Was he killed? I don't know.
That's what they're saying.
Oh, poor Steve! I just wanna go.
Can we please leave? Where are we gonna go? We can't go anywhere! Don't be a fucking wuss! We need to get out of the park, to take Mo and leave! Okay everybody just calm the fuck down.
- [Trinity.]
No, we're leaving.
- [Sarah.]
Guys! I think you better come and watch this.
[news theme music.]
[reporter.]
Okay, we've got exclusive video for you now.
This is footage of the actual attack from Steve Rogers' news camera.
Just a warning: This is very graphic and not appropriate for all viewers.
Oh, my Jesus.
Tell me we're not going to see him fucking die right here.
No one is sure exactly why the local squirrel population has dwindled but it's this reporter's belief that the answer could lie here deep in the heart of What the fuck is that? - [high-pitched whining.]
- Shit! Steve Rogers, reporting live.
- [alarm beeping.]
- Unconfirmed reports that we've been struck by a missile, and we are we are crashing.
We are on fire.
We're going down.
We're losing altitude.
Steve "No Nonsense" Rogers, reporting on what could be his last story.
Tell my wife I'm sorry! Oh, Jesus Murphy! Oh, my God, we killed Steve Rogers! How can you kill them? That wasn't your fucking - Wait! Listen, listen, listen! - Jacob, chips.
Let's go.
A harrowing moment earlier today Oh, fuck, he's alive! Yes! Matings of the Nova Scotia squirrel turned nearly fatal in the blink of an eye.
Steve "Nine Lives" Rogers [bed whirring.]
Signing off.
Yes! Steve Rogers is alive and well, baby! We got lucky, boys.
[whispering.]
Julian, we still shot the fucking thing down.
What if they catch us and they try to make us pay for that helicopter? - Bubs - [sirens blaring outside.]
Ah, yeah.
Yeah, here we go.
- We're fucking caught already! - The fuck is this all about? You know what? Fuck this! I'm turning myself in.
You're not turning yourself in! Just fucking relax, Bubs! Boys, we're caught.
There's no fucking way out of this.
Yes, there is.
There's a fucking way out of everything.
Trust me.
No, I'm turning myself in.
- Bubbles, fuck off.
- You're not turning yourself in.
- [Bubbles.]
I'm right here, officer! - [Ricky.]
Shut the fuck up! - I'm not gonna resist! - Shut the fuck up! I got this.
Hey, boys, how's it going? The Shittiest Beard Of All Times competition - is right down there, two doors.
- What? Nothing? What are you guys doing? We're kind of tired.
Been in Moncton the last few days.
What do you need? Hands behind your back, sir.
Up against the car, please.
- What? - What the fuck for? You're under arrest for shoplifting and theft over a thousand dollars.
[Julian chuckling.]
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
I know the fucking drill, all right.
There's some kind of misunderstanding here.
I didn't steal a goddamn thing.
We have all the tapes from Gary, the mall manager.
Might as well save it for the judge.
Load him up.
I can't fucking believe you did this, Julian.
- Bubs, I - Shoplifting!? Bubs, I didn't do anything wrong.
Shoplifting at the fucking mall! [shaky voice.]
I should have fucking known.
[car doors closing.]
I'll look after your drink for you, Julian.
Good luck, bud! - [Bubbles whimpering.]
- [cat meowing.]
Don't even worry about this, guys.
We're gonna find a fucking better place to live, every one of us, we're gonna have the best time.
[whimpering.]
[Ricky.]
Hey, can you guys fuck off, seriously? Show some goddamn respect.
Let the man have a little bit of peace and quiet.
Jesus! - Hey Bubs, are you in there, buddy? - [pounding on door.]
- [cat screeching.]
- [Bubbles yelling.]
Jesus, Ricky! [Ricky.]
Sorry, just seeing if you're home.
Wanna smoke a joint or something? [Bubbles sighing.]
No.
[Ricky.]
What the fuck are you doing packing that up? - Going on a trip somewhere? - I'm thinking I might just go live somewhere else, Ricky.
Whoa what the fuck are you talking about? Look, Ricky, I love you and Julian.
You know that, but I just don't think I can be around you guys anymore.
I don't think I can.
Don't talk like that.
That's crazy.
It's not crazy, though, Ricky.
It's not crazy.
Look, all I wanted was to just live, and not get fucking tangled up in illegal bullshit, and I asked you guys if we could do that, and you guys both looked me in the eye and you promised me we could, and what fucking happened? Actually, I don't really remember.
What happened? [Bubbles sighing.]
Julian's running a full-on crime syndicate down at the fucking mall.
That's what happened! Well, I fucking didn't know anything about that.
Yeah, well, maybe you did and maybe you didn't, Ricky.
I don't even fucking know.
But I do know this: Nothing's ever gonna fucking change.
Nothing's ever gonna change, Ricky.
I was so fucking happy today that you guys remembered my birthday.
I know, right? You threw that party and you got me this awesome present.
And it turns out, it was all just a big, fucking Ricky and Julian lie.
It wasn't a fucking lie, it happened! I was there.
It was a lie, Ricky, because people always say, "It's the thought that counts.
" - Did you ever hear people say that? - Yes, right, exactly.
Yeah well, if somebody steals your fucking birthday present, Ricky, [sobbing.]
then how does that fucking count for - But he didn't steal that.
- Oh, yeah I don't even wanna hear it.
Bubs, listen.
I swear to fuck, okay? Yes, Julian has been stealing a bit of stuff here and there but he told me he paid for the rocket.
He showed me the fucking receipt and he used his last bit of money to fucking do it.
I swear to fuck, that's true.
Well, I find that fucking hard to believe.
- Sorry - [sighing.]
Look, Bubs Yes, me and Julian, we do fuck up a lot.
And it's not because we don't fucking love you.
But man, you can't fucking leave this park.
Like, we'd be fucked without you here, man.
We're a fucking team, buddy.
You can't fucking leave us.
Don't leave me here with just Julian.
- Please don't go, man.
- [Bubbles sighing.]
You're fucking lucky that I love you so much, Ricky.
You fucking asshole.
You're fucking lucky I love you so much too, you fucking dick.
So what do you say? You want to smoke a joint and watch a movie? [cat meowing.]
- Ricky, you're eating cat treats.
- What, these? - Yes, cat treats.
- Well, these are fucking good.
They expensive? Just gonna keep eating them, are you? [theme music.]
[seagulls squawking.]
[fish.]
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck off! Fuck! Fuck off! Jesus Christ! [whispering.]
Fuck.
[light clicks off.]
Fuck off.
Hope you enjoyed the episode