Transparent (2014) s04e03 Episode Script

Pinkwashing Machine

1 - Can you help me down? - Yeah.
(sighs): Okay.
Baruch HaShem.
ALI: Baruch HaShem.
Do you feel that? Israel.
Whoa! Hey, what the fuck? Excuse us.
Excuse us! (Ali exhales) - Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
Looks like L.
- I know.
- (phone chimes) - Who would've thunk? - ALI: Oh, my God.
The video I posted of you at TSA went viral.
Okay, have you heard of Lyfe? The activist? L-Y-F-E, Lyfe? Is that a movie? No, she is this incredible international revolutionary - social justice warrior.
- Mm-hmm.
And she's got this cool Instagram, verified, with half a million followers.
- Ooh.
- She retweeted me.
- Mm-hmm.
- And then Solange retweeted her.
Solange? - Yes.
- (gasps) Oh, my God.
You don't know who Solange is, do you? - No.
- And that is how our video got 10,000 retweets.
That's great.
Here we are.
Jews as far as the eye can see.
Not as many yarmulkes as you would think.
(phone vibrates) Oh, my God.
ALI: What? Um I just, uh, a friend is trying to reach me.
Lyfe, she's DM'ing me.
And she's in Tel Aviv and wants to get together.
Well, you should meet up with her.
You should invite Lyfe to, um, to the lecture.
Or is this a date thing? Oh, my God, I don't know.
She's really cute, though.
I'm dating.
Really? - Mm-hmm.
- That's cool.
What's her name? Donald.
- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
That's great.
- It is great.
- That's huge.
It is huge.
And he's wonderful and handsome and kind and funny and he makes me feel like a woman.
I mean, I'm a little on the fence about some things I mean, he lives in Northridge.
- Oh.
- And, um, there's not a book to be seen in that house.
Donnie is not a reader.
- You know what? - Hmm.
Who cares? Who cares? I can read for both of us.
- Yeah, stupid books.
- Stupid books.
Are you sure you don't care if I go and meet up with Lyfe? Absolutely not.
You heard my speech a dozen times on the plane.
How often does one get to date Lyfe? I'm not dating her.
Pussy bow.
Yeah? Sure.
Et voilà.
OSNAT: Professor Pfefferman? Osnat.
We've been e-mailing.
How are you? - Welcome, welcome.
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you so much for having me.
- Oh.
You're so welcome.
I hope the jet lag hasn't ruined your life yet.
No, no, I'm fine.
What can I do for you? - Um - Coffee? No, I have, I have coffee.
Um, honestly? I don't mean to be a diva, but when I'm stan when I'm standing here, there's, um I'm in shadow, and I would like - if there was a light that could be - Oh, of course.
Do me a favor, please? (speaking Hebrew) (all speaking Hebrew) (Osnat laughs) If there is one thing I could ever fix about how cis people see us trans people - Mm-hmm? - it would be the lighting.
Really? That's, that's all it would be? - Just the lighting? (laughs) - Okay, so many more things.
Maura Pfefferman.
- Hmm.
All right.
- Pfefferman, Pfefferman Well, I'm gonna put my cards here.
I'm gonna get going (singing in Hebrew) Cool guy.
Pfeffer-Air Pfefferman? No relation? I'm, I'm lost.
I don't have any idea what's going on.
It was, uh, the crazy guy back in the '80s, had these tacky commercials, sang songs about air conditioning.
Pfeffer-Air Pfefferman.
- From here? Pfefferman.
- From here.
- Ah.
- Yes.
And how does it go? Pfefferman (singing in Hebrew) - My goodness.
- Cool guy.
- Cool guy.
- Cool guy.
SARAH: Honey, I've got to finish.
- ELLA: No, it hurts! - It does not hurt! I'm using a wet brush.
- They don't hurt.
- Yes, they do.
The car pool is coming! Well, it hurts.
I'm making toast.
Zacky, what are your shoes doing here? What are your shoes doing here?! I asked you to put your shoes on.
I'm gonna do it later.
I just God, Mom.
Stop yelling! Geez, you're freaking me out.
(inhales) Okay.
Okay, fine.
You be the boss.
Sir, could I possibly put them on for you? No.
I'll just sit here and wait until you tell me that I can.
Now you can put them on.
Yes, sir.
(horn honking in distance) Oh, my God.
We got to go.
- ELLA: We can't be late! - Get the backpack! Hurry! She's gonna leave without us.
Come on! (door closes) (knock on door) Good doctor.
(laughs): Oh! - You redecorate? - Oh, fuck, yeah, I did, bro.
I'm coming for some of that sweet Bubba Kush.
- Oh.
- Maybe Purple Grandpa? Wow.
It's been a while, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- I'm out of that business.
I'm retired.
I don't prescribe weed anymore.
(laughing): You're You're fucking with me, right? Oh.
No, man.
- You didn't hear any of this, huh? - Mm-mm.
Ooh, I went through a rough patch a while back.
- What, what happened? - Well, suffice it to say, I'm eighty-sixed permanently from the Grove.
- Really? - Yeah.
They got me on tape drinking from the water fountain when it was doing one of its light shows.
- Sorry to hear that, man.
- No, no.
Honestly? Goddamn it, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
I'm off booze.
I'm off weed, of course.
I'm off dairy.
I'm even off gluten, dude.
I've never felt better.
Um, all right.
Well, um, well, I'm gonna get out of your hair.
I just was gonna check do you have, uh, another weed guy I can, like, see? Yeah, no, I-I got somebody I can send you to.
- All right, cool.
- But I don't know.
Let me ask you this.
You think maybe it's fate that brought you here today, Josh? Uh W-What's going on right now? I'm just saying.
You are radiating pain.
It's radiating out of right here.
Right here.
And I can feel it, dude.
ALL: One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two! - One, one, one - Perfect! BRIDGET: Your hands and your mouth make noises.
(all shouting gibberish) - This right? - Let me hear your sounds.
What do your animal sounds make? Perfect.
Your animals are now baby versions of your animals.
Shelly, perfect.
She's in utero right now.
- Look at this.
- (meowing) Okay, anybody, uh, want to shout out any random word to start the scene? - Coney Island.
- I love Coney Island.
- Perfect.
Coney Island.
- Never had a real hot dog unless you've had a hot dog at Coney Island.
Don't tell me.
Show me on the stage.
Okay, go.
Coney Island.
- Okay.
I don't und - Coney Island.
(Bridget chuckles) Uh (imitates roller coaster clicking) Are you all right? What's the matter with you? Ah! (laughter) - Whoa! This is scary! - Wait, no, I Hold on! - Oh.
What? - Whoa! I don't like a roller coaster, so why don't I get off and go to the cart - and get us some hot dogs - BRIDGET: Shelly, Shelly.
- and cotton candy - Shelly just stop for a second.
Gabe was on a roller coaster, right? He's riding a roller coaster But he looked like he was having a seizure.
Well, then he's having a seizure, then go with that, too.
You can't ask him if he wants food if he's on a roller coaster.
See what I'm saying? Be in the scene he just created.
- You "Yes, and" Okay? "Yes, and" -You "Yes, and" Okay, you know, we're just gonna start something Wait, wait, I just want to ask you one thing.
How do we know that it's gonna come out to be good - if we don't - It might not be good! And that's improv.
All right, let's change things up.
Uh, Lisa, jump on up.
Come on, guys.
- Give Lisa some love.
- (cheering) Come on down, please.
CLASS (chanting): Lisa! Lisa! BRIDGET: Okay, let's do something totally different.
- Give me a wild animal.
- MAN: Monkey! - BRIDGET: Monkeys! Show us the monkeys! - Monkey.
And go.
(Lisa and Gabe imitating monkey noises) LISA: I got you a banana! GABE: Thank you! JOSH: I'm gonna order a pizza right now.
Oh, I'm sorry, you said "dinner," - and then you offered me pizza.
- (laughs) Pizza is like a, like a, like a cheesy death.
You're gonna love it.
You're gonna love it.
I will not.
I'll be stopped up for days.
- Hi.
- You should lock the door.
It makes me very nervous.
You have company.
- This is my friend Steve.
- Oh.
How you doing, Mrs.
Pfefferman? A pleasure to meet you.
- Pleasure to meet you.
- How are you? Such a polite young man.
I used to date Sarah.
Was this before or after the lesbian thing? I actually think it was during.
You want some wine? I bought pink yesterday.
No, we're good.
We're actually gonna jam.
- Come on, Steve-o.
- Let's do this.
(laughs) - Let me give you some pink.
- Oh.
No, that's okay.
JOSH: Mom, he doesn't drink.
- Oh.
Well, it's just a little pink.
- Mom.
- One, two, three.
- STEVE: No, it's okay, just leave it.
- I'll leave it alone.
- Mom, we're good.
- We're good.
Mom! - What? - What? - I just said he doesn't drink.
Oh! Okay.
He's trying to tell you he doesn't drink.
So my reaction time needs a little work.
Um No, Mom, that's (Josh sighs) - You don't listen.
- I do so! I just heard you say, "You don't listen.
" Okay.
Then-then you're a boundary-pusher, okay? Ugh.
You-you all talk about boundaries.
I have no idea what boundaries are.
STEVE: Boundaries are everything.
You know, boundaries are how people tell other people what they need.
It's-it's like when you decided you were gonna live here, but you never asked me.
I did so.
No, y-you said, "Josh, I can stay here, right?" What? That's asking.
STEVE: Eh, it sounds a lot more like telling, - but with a question mark.
- Hey, you, stay out of it.
You I shouldn't have to ask, Mr.
Sigmund Freud.
JOSH (laughs): Okay.
Yeah, I'm Sigmund Freud.
I'm Sigmund Freud.
All right.
All right.
See if I can analyze this one.
Wait, wait, wait, get out of my room! - What are you doing? - Dr.
Steve, I'd like your opinion.
Check this out.
It's like a automatic feeder on a self-imposed hamster wheel.
- Is what it is.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is the way that I control my money - and my weight.
Yes, it is.
- No.
No, it's - And you know that.
- Mom, you count toilet paper squares.
SHELLY: I don't like to waste.
- And you know that, too.
- No, it's OCD and it's mental illness, is what it is.
- Why do you hate me so much? - I don't.
I care about you, and that's why I'm saying it to your face.
Oh, this is caring.
This is very caring behavior.
I do not feel safe right now.
I don't feel safe right now.
I also don't feel safe.
SHELLY: Please, please, stop being so mean to me! - Oh, my God.
Yeah, no - Stop it, please! Stop - I'm 68 years old.
- Yeah, I'm trying to help you! - I'm trying to help you! - Can't I continue living the way that I want to live? Fine.
I will not help you anymore.
Fine! That's fine.
You don't have to help me.
(Shelly panting) Where are you going? I am going to spend the night at the W Hotel.
(car door closes) - Hi.
- Hey.
I'm Ali.
I'm Lyfe.
Nice to meet you.
Um, so weird that you're here.
Or not.
Do you live here? No, no, no, I'm just touring the Middle East.
- You? - Oh, um Why am I here? Um, I'm just here 'cause my parent is giving a lecture at the conference.
- At the hotel.
- Yeah.
How is she? Oh, she's fine.
- She's over it.
- (chuckles): Okay.
I was more upset than she was, so Um do you want to get a drink? There's a bar in the hotel.
No, I try not to spend money in Israel.
Because of the boycott.
- Right.
- Yeah.
I try to do what I can for Palestinian justice.
Of course.
(chuckles) We can go Ramallah.
I know some really dope places there.
- Go to Ramallah? - Yeah.
- Uh here we go.
- (both chuckle) Wait a minute, am I allowed to just go to Ramallah? Yeah, you are definitely allowed.
Thank you.
MAURA: So I submit that misogyny was the reason Ethel Rosenberg became the focal point of such an immense amount of hatred.
Before the Cold War, women were considered the holders of the most positive virtues.
Ideas about goodness, love and faith.
But at this moment, things shifted.
For the first time, here was a woman who was suspect.
She ignited a deep-seated fear of betrayal.
The idea of secrets leaking out was named Communist, woman, Jew.
- You're not nervous, are you? - No.
MAURA: The criminal charges brought against her were dubious.
But people wanted an enemy.
- Are we gonna get stopped here? - No.
They don't seem to care who's going into the West Bank.
They just want to know who leaves.
But Ramallah's a straight shot from here.
MAURA: People needed an enemy.
The female, as mysterious and untrustworthy, made her the perfect target.
Thank you.
God, this is so weird.
I feel like I'm in Brooklyn.
What were you expecting? Like, women in all black and suicide belts? - No.
- Let's sit here.
Here, hold that.
I'll get that for you.
Just not so many man-buns.
You have a man-bun.
I don't have a man-bun.
You have a "wo-man-bun.
" Oh, my God, I have a man-bun? - JANAN: Lyfe! - It's okay.
It's great.
- Habibi.
- Janan.
(speaks Arabic) I can't believe you missed Nadal's birthday.
- LYFE: Um, this is Ali.
- Hi.
She made that video I told you about.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
LYFE: She was expecting an episode of VICE, but I'm giving her, like, a watered-down version of a tour.
Well, welcome to the Ramallah bubble.
Thank you, yes.
It's, it's very cool.
I guess the American media just makes it seem like it's all violence, which obviously it's not.
This is just like a normal cafe with a wide variety of people doing things that people do.
Yes, we have everything.
All surrounded by weird and random checkpoints, though.
So, the checkpoints, like the one we went through, are those all along the border? Habibti, what border? There is no actual internationally-recognized border.
It's just one big, ugly wall and hundreds of checkpoints all over the place.
Okay, and if there was a two-state solution, then the wall would come down and there would be no more checkpoints.
(speaking Arabic) Look, love, we-we have to catch you up, okay? - Okay.
- And we will.
There's enough time for that, right? Yeah.
- Let's go to the farm tonight.
- Yes.
- You can meet our friends.
- Okay.
Let's drink.
- Saha.
- Saha.
It means "cheers.
" LEN: Okay, Ella, bath time.
What did I say? I said no more ice cream, right? - Remember? - (chanting): I love ice cream.
- I love ice cream.
- I said no more ice cream.
I don't want to take a bath.
I'm gonna raise my voice.
You're gonna make me talk loud.
You should do it.
Just try it.
That's a really dumb method.
You don't even know.
You've never tried it.
Okay, I'll try it.
- Like, really commit.
- All right.
(Len clears throat) Permission to sit? (with accent): Ella, you are my queen.
And I'm here to serve you.
What is it that you want to do? We will not take baths.
Baths are for fools.
In fact, you and I will run through the mud like pigs.
We will splash about all day long in the dirtiest of water.
Whatever it is, you tell me what you want to do, my queen.
I'll take a bath.
(mouthing) (quietly): What the What? That doesn't make sense.
That doesn't make sense.
Why would (dishes clink) Night.
Love you.
LEN: All right, man.
- (laughs) - Give me a break.
Give me a that's, like, black magic.
- But it's not.
- That is magic.
It's more, it's actually really positive.
It's, like it's, like, taking the idea of, like, you know, just, like, believing in your kids - to another level.
It's like - Right.
- It's, like, empowering them.
- Letting them make the choice.
Right? Like, seeing their light, letting their light shine.
Like, like, letting the kids be on top.
You know? Kids on top.
Dude, "kids on top"? - Exactly.
- That's a blog.
- Right? - You got to blog about that.
Yeah, I got to blog.
- Got to get my blog on.
- Yeah.
No, no, no.
It's a book.
It's a fucking book.
- It's a fucking - It's a parenting book.
It's a parenting book! - It's a parenting book.
- (shouts): Kids on Top! Oh, my God.
That's a great idea.
Oh, my God.
It's almost, like, not fair.
LYFE: Here we go.
- ALI: Wow.
- LYFE: We made it.
- Inshallah.
- ALI: So cool! Ah, I can't believe you live here.
This is amazing.
Thank you for inviting me here.
JANAN: Sure.
Glad to have you.
ALI: Oh, my God.
(speaks Arabic) Welcome.
Oh, my God.
I love it.
Oh, this is my friend, Shamuel.
- Hi.
- This is Ali.
- Salaam.
- Salaam.
(laughs) So, this was your family's farm? Yeah, my grandparents used to raise goats here.
I love goats.
I just saw this cute YouTube video of them jumping on trees.
JANAN: Yeah, you love them till you spend time with them.
For real.
They're, like, real assholes.
- (lively chatter) - JANAN: Everyone has a naan? SHAMUEL: This maqluba is amazing.
ALI: Which one is the maq maqluba? SHAMUEL: This is the maqluba.
Oh, my God, this is incredible.
SHAMUEL: The tomatoes.
Try the tomatoes.
I mean, it's not supposed to have tomatoes.
- It's okay, come on.
- But - I know you're so anal.
- First no, come on! JANAN: First they take our land, then they put tomatoes in our maqluba.
- (laughter) - SHAMUEL: It's really good.
JANAN: Next time I'll cook you the real maqluba.
So, every once in a while, you have to buy your tomatoes from Israel.
JANAN: Well, we don't have a choice.
You can't get Palestinian tomatoes.
SHAMUEL: You can't get avocado.
- You can't get Bamba.
- Oh, my God.
- Bamba.
- Bamba.
- Fucking miss Bamba.
- ALI: But come on.
Don't you get Bamba once in a while? Do you guys break the boycott for delicious treats? - (others murmur) - A little bit? - Only when you're drunk.
- Only when we're drunk.
- Cheers for that.
- Cheers for Bamba.
LEN: Okay.
They're asleep.
- Cookies for the hot mommy blogger.
- Aw.
These have a little bit of crack in them.
- I have to tell you something.
- What's up? Um, you know the this whole, like, Kids on Top idea? Uh-huh? It's not, like, a hundred percent my idea.
No, I came up with it with this other person.
Sort of.
I mean, it's mine, but we kind of came up with it together.
Well, who was it? Um do you, um, remember Ella's preschool teacher, Miss Lila? Miss Lila? Oh.
Is she the one with the freckles? We used to talk about never wore a bra.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
She's hot.
When did you see her? I just you know, ran into her around the hood.
That's cool.
Please don't bring me any more cookies, okay? Have, like, too much sugar.
But thank you.
I'm not eating all these.
Throw them away.
It doesn't matter.
- If I'm gonna do this book thing - Right.
I would like to give the idea to Jodi and see if she might bring it to her literary agent.
You know? And if I feel like if I'm gonna do that, I feel like I should talk to Lila, right? You know, first.
Well, what about this? What if I just draw up a contract? - That's a good idea.
- Right? And you'll, like, lawyer me up? Yeah.
I'm gonna, like lawyer all over your face.
I don't like it on my face.
I like it on my tits.
LEN: Your call.
Mom! Mom! Mom! (gasps) - What time is it? - What the fuck are you doing?! You're supposed to be in a hotel! I didn't want to waste money on a hotel.
Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy.
My back.
What is wrong with you? Mom, I thought you were dead.
I thought you wanted me here.
Come here.
I do.
I did want you here.
I want you here.
(sniffles) (sniffles) Don't.
Not on the lips.
HUSSEN: I wasn't even charged when I was detained by the Israeli army.
But I was there for a total of one year.
And because I'm gay, they were trying to they were blackmailing me.
They were saying that if I didn't comply and become an informant, they would out me to my parents.
Yeah, they use this technique with all gay people, gay Palestinians.
- They get them - They use any vulnerability.
Any place they can expose your vulnerability and take advantage of it.
WOMAN: American Jews have more rights to citizenship than-than Palestinians who have been here for generations.
You can get citizenship, but as a Canadian Palestinian, I can't.
I mean, my family has been born here, and I can't even go into Jerusalem.
I can't even leave from the airport.
You can't even go into Jerusalem? Not without a permit.
Two different lives for the same land.
WOMAN 2: I-I think it's very clear that the goal is just total control over the land - and its resources.
- (overlapping chatter) They say that's not the goal, but it is the goal in a way.
I think you have to understand not every Israeli is here to get rid of Palestinians.
- We have to recognize exactly.
- (overlapping chatter) MAN: It's not even, like, political sometimes.
It's just being complicit in a system.
WOMAN 3: And, anyway, we're exhausted with having every aspect of our life be wrapped up in this political issue.
We can't breathe.
We can't move.
We can't go to the next city, visit friends, get an education, travel abroad.
And sometimes we just want to have dinner with our friends.
Thanks for coming.
Professor Pfefferman.
Yes? I loved your, uh, your lecture.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
It was my pleasure.
I came all the way from-from Yokneam.
- From where? - Yokneam.
- Yokneam.
I've not-not heard of that.
- No? Would you, uh can you sign, please? You want me to sign? Of course.
- What is your name? - Adam.
- Adam.
- Yeah.
- "To Adam" - Pfefferman Pfefferman Dun, dun, dun, dun, Pfefferman.
- Yeah.
- That's that jingle.
You're the second person who's done that today.
Are you related to Moshe? Moshe? Moshe Pfefferman.
You know, "the cool guy.
" Um, excuse me.
(sniffles) "Cool guy.
" (over laptop): Pfefferman Pfefferman (singing in Hebrew) "The cool guy.
" (bell dings) MAURA: Ali.
Where are you, question mark.
LYFE: What about strategizing? You go back home, gather as many Jews as you can, and get them to come back, attain citizenship and then fight for our cause.
I really need you, exclamation point.
- Or marry us and give us citizenship.
- Or marry.
- Or marry.
- (laughter) I'm serious.
This is, this is, this is Come right now, period.
Right now.
N oh, fuck you.
(laptop chimes) (over laptop): Are you all right? - There was a bombing.
- No.
God, you scared me to death.
Why would you call me all the way from Israel - unless it was some kind of a disaster? - Because I want to I want to ask you a question.
- What? - All right.
Our father is dead.
Is that right? - Dead as disco.
- Right.
And when did he die? In the '80s.
Or the '90s.
You don't know.
Well, Mom said he died.
I want you to do me a favor, all right? I want you to Google something for me.
Um "Moshe Pfefferman.
" Oh, really? - "Cool guy.
" - Really? (typing) Okay.
Pfefferman, Pfefferman (singing in Hebrew) MOSHE: "The cool guy.
" (bell dings) Oh, my God.
I think that's our father.
That son of a bitch.
Oh, my God.
Out in space Where the goat comes from Out in space Where the goat belongs Where the goat belongs Where the goat belongs Where the goat belongs Where the goat belongs Call my name When you talk to God Call my name When you talk to God When you talk to God When you talk to God When you talk to God