Transparent (2014) s04e04 Episode Script

Cool Guy

Oh, hi.
Hi, hi, hi, hi.
I'm so happy you're still awake.
- You don't answer texts? - I'm so sorry, they all just came in, - and they're total gibberish, by the way.
- You know that I've - been texting you all night? - I know, I'm sorry, they all just came in.
I really apologize.
But listen, I had the most incredible night.
We went to Ramallah, and then I went to - What, Ramallah? - Yes.
What were you doing in Ramallah? Everything, and then I went to a farm outside of this little village and Ali.
Yes.
My father's alive.
Oh, my God.
A-Are you sure? Cool Guy! The Cool Guy.
Oh, my God.
Cool Guy is your dad? Cool Guy is your grandfather.
Cool Guy is my grandfather? I don't know.
Bry thinks it is.
- Oh, my God.
- It's crazy.
Don't you see this is why we're here? - Oh, come on.
Don't do that.
- This is why we're here.
It all makes so much sense now.
Are you high? We have to find him.
Okay, let's figure out where he lives.
Moshe Pfefferman.
Yes.
You can do it on that thing? You can do anything on this thing.
Finding your long-lost father is nothing compared to some of the stalking I've done.
This is insane.
Okay, he lives in Caesarea.
It's not that far.
This is nuts.
Address, address, I got an address.
You got it? You okay? What the fuck are we doing? Cool Guy.
Holy shit.
I can't believe we're doing this.
This is a bad idea.
No, no, no, we're here.
We're going in.
Come on, I got you.
Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
I mean, he's not going to recognize me.
He left when I was four.
He lives like a Malibu Jew.
Um Okay, obviously there's no one here.
Somebody's back there.
Let's go.
Ali, Ali, Ali.
Okay, come on.
This is trespassing, you know.
It's not trespassing, it's your father.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, is that him down there? I'm sorry, who are you? Hi.
Um I'm, um My mother was Rose, Rose Boymelgreen.
I was born "Mort.
" Jesus fucking Christ.
Morty? I, I was born Morty, but now I'm Maura.
You were born Mort? Yes.
I'm just, um I, well, I'm, I'm Explain.
Um Do you know what transgender is? It means you thought she was a boy, but she's a woman.
Okay, uh, so it's Maura, huh? I guess, come on in.
Come on.
Feel your body.
Yes.
Come on, guys, this is a safe space, let's go.
- What do you? - Yo.
Let your character take up the space it needs to take up.
Get out of here.
When you find someone, shake their hand and introduce yourself.
Bring it over here.
How are you? I'm Mario.
Hi, Mario, nice to meet you.
Wow, you have a strong handshake, Mario.
Yeah, it is nice to meet me.
This place is crazy.
You know what? I would rather be eating.
Eating a huge hoagie.
That's right.
A hoagie is a hoagie.
You got my picture? - You see what I'm telling you? - I got it.
- So you're a guy's guy.
- Don't you fuckin' forget it.
Don't you fuckin' forget it.
Look at me and look at you.
- Who else wants to meet Mario? - Who else wants to meet Mario? - Come on in, come on in.
- Who the fuck else? Hey, yeah, you got muscles.
You know what? - I got bigger muscles than you.
- Oh! Hey, hey, feel that motherfucker.
Feel it, that's right.
- Feel this? - Oh, fuck that noise.
Fuck this guy.
- I'd like to arm-wrestle you.
- Hey! Tell you what, your muscles are bigger that mine? My cock's bigger than yours.
How about that? Okay! Great job, you guys.
Everybody take a seat in the audience.
Whoo! Great work.
Great work.
Great work.
Ciao.
- Hey! - Hey! - Forget about it! - Hey, forget about it.
Vaffanculo, I'll see you next time.
You earned my respect, Mario.
- Hi, ma'am.
- Hey.
Think I'm gonna have a sandwich.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna have me a big, long, hard roll with a lot of lot of stuff on it.
- You know? A big hoagie.
- Oh, a hoagie, okay.
- You got some brown meat here? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- We got mortadella over here.
- What's this? Give me a lot of mayonnaise.
- That got fat in it? - Mortadella.
'Cause I want it to have a lot of fat in it.
This is such a cool neighborhood, Lila.
Yeah, it's called Frogtown, Len.
And stop distracting her.
She's trying to read my thing.
This is great.
- Really? - Really, it's all in here.
- Really, you like it? - Yeah.
- You're really a good writer, Sarah.
- Really? - Yeah, you really are.
Yeah.
- Oh, thanks.
- She's the best.
It's great, I'm so impressed.
Hey, so Sarah was just saying that, um, she couldn't remember exactly who said the words "kids on top" first.
Yeah.
I think we kind of said it at the same time.
- At the same time.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
Jinx.
- Buy me a Coke.
- Yes, so she was thinking it might be weird if, um, she just - started working on the book - Right.
without getting it set up legally.
You want to make this into a book? I mean, you know, we could start, like, with, you know, a website.
I mean, this is just, you know it's just, like, a blog.
But I think we could totally turn it into a book, and I thought maybe, you know, we could do it together if you wanted to, if you're into it.
Yeah? - Well, I mean, I'd be honored, I'd - Really? - Yeah, it sounds like a lot of fun.
- Yay.
- Yeah.
- Great.
And so, Len, you would be, like, the the Yoko? - No.
- Is that what you want? Right, no, he's, he's I would be, like, the lawyer.
- He's like Ringo.
- You're the lawyer.
- The lawyer.
I mean, that's - Useless but necessary.
- Right.
- Yeah.
But just to avoid any confusion down the line, you guys should have a contract.
- Yeah.
- Like, someone is 51%, someone's 49%.
Just so there's never any sort of deadlock.
Right.
Oh.
Something's up? No, it just seems a little unfair, right? Like, it should just be fifty-fifty.
- Yeah.
No, she's right.
- No? It should just be fifty-fifty.
That's fair.
I'm just, I'm a Libra, so I'm just super into fair.
She's a Libra.
- It's kind of the way I feel.
- Oh, shit.
Did you want me to put it in the contract that you're a Libra? - I think you should.
- I'm joking.
- I'm not gonna put it in the contract.
- No? Okay.
You don't have to, but I think we should keep talking it out, all these little fun details, you know? Um, do you guys mind if I smoke? - I mean - Whatever you want to do.
Oh, smoke smoke.
Yeah.
It's a vodka bong.
- Fun.
- A what kind of bong? Vodka bong.
We smoke.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
This is, uh, Shira, and Ronit is the younger one.
They're my, uh, Israeli family.
What do you think? These are your daughters.
Yeah, my wife passed away four years ago.
But Shira has two kids, and Ronit has a daughter, Moran.
So I have grandchildren.
You, you know, um, you have great-grandchildren on our side.
- Good Lord.
- Yeah.
May I ask you a question? Where were you? I, um Mom said that you died.
Did you die? I didn't die, no.
What the fuck happened to you? You know, I mean, start again? You can just start again, is that what you can do? I had no choice.
I wasn't the father in that house.
He was.
Rose's dad.
Haim.
Huh.
Your grandfather.
He was the boss.
He he loved to punish people.
He had fists like cantaloupes.
Bam.
"You do it my way, or you get the hell out of here.
" The day he showed me the door, I grabbed my stuff and I ran for it.
So, yeah, I was the only man in the house when, when I was growing up.
Yeah.
But for super complicated reasons, I was I was not aware that I was the only man in my house.
I'm not trying to be convoluted, it's just it's very hard to explain.
Um, but, um There was a lot of confusion.
But then, Israel.
Yeah, it was a new country.
A country for us, our safe haven.
And if that doesn't scream second chance, I don't know what does.
And I sure grabbed a hold of it.
You know, I was a kid when stuff started with the older woman.
I mean, at the time I was, like, bragging about it.
It was, like, I was the stud of the century.
Um And, I mean, I was pretty pumped about it.
You know, I was getting my 15-year-old fuck on.
And, um My parents knew.
They thought it was, uh or they acted like it was normal.
Like, that's what men do.
Men fuck, right? But it wasn't normal.
This person, Rita she fucking owned me.
She owns me.
Nobody knew me here.
I was not a disappointment to anyone here.
Hmm.
I was just a new Jew with a bright future.
So I made myself, made my fortune, and I made my family.
And you never looked back.
Shame is a funny thing.
It's funny? Yeah.
Mm.
Every time I smoke weed, I feel like I'm finally back in my body.
- You know? - Yes.
Oh, my God.
The water goddess.
Whoa - I love the light in here.
- It's great.
Yeah, it's good light, right? Self care starts with good light.
- So nice.
- Feel like I have to protect myself to get ready for the upcoming revolution.
You know, whatever post-capitalism holds for us.
You think that's gonna happen? Post-capitalism, like, we're not gonna work anymore? Because I don't want to work, either.
Work is dumb.
That's the future that I want to be a part of.
I feel like work's just gonna be different, - you know? - Yeah.
Isn't it fucking crazy, though, that you meet someone at a sex addicts meeting, and then, the next thing you know, you're, like, you're writing a book with them.
Bing, bang, boom.
Wait, what now? You guys met at the at the sex addicts thing? It's also love.
It's also love addicts.
But I thought that you guys met at the East Side JCC, yeah.
It's an anonymous program.
You know, I don't tell people, that's all.
I didn't, like, I didn't keep it from you.
All right.
- Yeah.
- Did I mess up? No.
No, you're perfect.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm perfect.
You're beautiful, you're absolutely perfect.
So, Lila.
Do you think my ex-wife is a sex addict? Why, do you think she's a sex addict? Well, what do you think? What do you think it means, Len? I would say that a sex addict is someone who puts sex at the front of everything.
And someone who uses her body the way Christopher Columbus used his ships, to, like, explore and I mean, it sounds a a little hostile, the way you're saying it.
A little hostile.
- Thank you.
- Yeah Yeah.
It's a little hostile, Len.
But what if I didn't mean it in a hostile way? - No, of course you didn't.
- That's not what I meant.
Buzzkill.
It was, like, very Bad choice of words; Christopher Columbus is a dick.
- Yeah.
- I didn't mean it in a hostile way.
I'm so high.
I'm so stoned.
Whatever, I don't care.
You know, I think that men have a a hard time with female sexuality.
Like, by itself.
Right? - Boom.
- 'Cause, like, they understand it when it's in relationship to them.
But female desire, by itself, is terrifying to people.
Right, right.
- You make a good point.
- Thank you.
Yeah.
That's why I usually take a while before I, like, come out to people.
You know? Come out as what? Come out as like a like a sex addict? No.
I've only been to a couple meetings.
Uh, so, no, not really like a You mean, like, come out as a lesbian? Um, no.
- No.
- Like what? What is it? Uh Uh, I, I guess like a let's see.
Like, um a poly-hearted, bisexual, human woman.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, like, what are the like, what are the rules of that? Do people get jealous? Yeah, but people in couples get jealous, too, you know? I actually find that there's less jealousy between three people and a lot more trust.
- Hmm.
- So, there's, like, a better flow.
You know, we crave different things.
And then, because I'm so attracted to men and women, the sex part is just, like, so much fun.
- Sounds fun.
- It's super fun.
Sounds super fun.
Yeah.
Sex is fun.
Mm-hmm.
Well, we should be going.
We got to pick up our kids at school and I don't think I think we have got time.
Yeah, I don't think school gets out for, like - a couple hours.
- Yeah, it's only, like, 1:00.
So you're saying we should stay? I mean, we don't have I mean, I don't know, can we stay? Of course, yeah, you definitely could stay.
If you want to.
You want to stay? - Yeah, I'll stay.
- Stay.
- Stay.
- Definitely stay.
Okay, here's what I'm gonna do No.
No.
I'm gonna tell you what to do.
Okay.
I just want to be clear.
I'm running this joint.
Here's what I want.
I want to fuck this beautiful thing.
And I want to use your dick.
Good thing I brought my dick.
You had a big day.
Shh.
Telling everyone about your tragic childhood with me.
I can tell you what's wrong with you.
You're other-justified.
What? Oh, your need to be liked, approved of.
You know, real men grow out of that.
Just Real men know how to be alone.
Fuck.
With their own thoughts.
Hey, you want some help with that? No.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Look at me.
No, I'm fine.
You sure? Yeah.
Okay.
You're sure you don't want my help? Fuck.
Fuck! Hmm.
Oh, fuck.
- What? - Hmm? We got to get our fucking kids.
Oh, my God, yeah.
- We have to get our kids.
- Oh, yeah.
- Like, for real this time.
- We have to go now, right? - Super fun.
- Yeah.
Oh, I don't want to go.
- Whoa, what is happening? - Sorry.
- What's happening? - Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going.
That was really fun.
Thank you so much.
Where's my phone? Where are my shoes? Okay.
Bye, Lila.
I have one last question before we go.
What about Mom? How could you leave her? Aye, Rose.
Rose never loved me.
She was like a depressed person.
Why? Why was she so depressed? Why? 'Cause of the fucking Holocaust.
You ever heard of it? I'm trying to explain to you, some families got out.
But no family ever got out clean.
You know what I mean? Like your mother.
You can't blame her because of the death of her brother uh, uh or sister - What do you, what do you mean? - What are you talking about? Gershon, Gittel, Gittel, Gershon What do you mean? Gershon was Gittel's husband.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
- Gershon and Gittel were the same person.
- They were married.
- No, they - That's impossible.
I'm telling you, it's like what you are, Gittel was; the same thing.
Trans, what do you call that? A trans something? I'm sorry, you're saying that Gittel was transgender? Transgender.
Yeah.
What? Is this? - Look, I never said - Yeah.
I never I never said Rose never told you this? What is it, Mom? Nobody ever told you? Oh, my God.
Is it po is it possible? I-I can't.
I can't.
I have to go.
Wh-Why? What? I I can't, um Okay, okay.
Are you all right? Is he all right or is he? - She, she, she's no, she's - She, she's all right? Uh, no.
Thank you.
Sorry.
- You're welcome.
- Tha-Thank you.
You okay? Why didn't they tell me? My whole life, I thought I was alone in this.
Imagine if I'd known.