True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e15 Episode Script

True Jackson, VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Are you guys human bowling again? No, I came up with a new game called break Ryan's feet.
What's that? Aah.
Joke's on you, it's only sprained.
I love the sound of children laughing.
Why? Is that the sound they make before you put them in your oven? Zinger, delightful.
You're in a good mood, Amanda.
If you must know, my old boyfriend, Chad Brackett is launching an art show about me.
Chad Brackett's an artist? I thought he was a finance guy.
He only mentioned it a thousand times.
Chad is a man of many talents: Financier, gourmet chef, jockey, and briefly the host of the tonight show.
Now, he's set his sights on the world of art.
Want to know the title of his show? Nah, you seem busy.
It's called "inspiration, thy name is Amanda.
" The opening is tonight.
How many tickets do you need? Let's see.
There's me, Ryan, True So none.
Well, just in case.
Who wants one? Seriously, Ryan? You actually want to go to an art gallery? No, I was just checking to see if my arm is broken.
No, it's not.
Yes, it is.
Well, do it away from my dress.
I'm presenting it in 10 minutes.
Are you nervous? Why would I be nervous? Mr.
Madigan's gonna love it.
Wow, pretty confident.
I don't wanna sound cocky, but I've presented 63 designs and he's liked every single one of them.
Lulu, you're good with numbers.
What does that equal out to? Guys, guys, before we present this design we? We're a team, right? The design kids.
The what? Just let me look at the dress, okay? Fine, what do you think? Hmmm, yes, yes And now I'm dizzy.
If anyone needs me, I'll be throwing up in the break room.
Afternoon, laserbeam.
On my break.
He's been working hard, he deserves a break.
Yes, he certainly does deserve a break, a long, refreshing break.
Oscar, do you have a cold or a head injury? Sorry, I'm auditioning to be the narrator on a sleep aid cd.
Sometimes, it's hard to shake the voice once you get started.
Let's hear a bit of your audition.
Okay.
You find yourself in the middle of the deepest ocean.
Adrift, not a care in the world.
How's that? Huh? I'm awake.
Say, Jimmy, would you take these designs to the reject room? It's not really my job, Uncle Max.
I'm sorry.
Isn't it your job to take an item from one place and deliver it to another? It's a lot more than that.
But also, that.
Oh yes, that, but then more.
What are these things anyway? These are experimental designs that just didn't make the cut.
This tuxedo, for instance, was designed to double as a floatation device.
That's a neat idea.
Yes, but apparently, outside of James Bond movies, people don't really swim in tuxedos.
How about this dress, Uncle Max? Pretty fancy.
Ah, it was designed for the opera.
It's fitted with a sensor that gives the lady wearing it an electric shock if she starts to fall asleep during the performance.
Where do they come up with these things? Snore.
From my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard just used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're makin' new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's goin' down 'cause I'm the new vp the new vp afternoon, people.
I'm very, very excited for True's presentation.
But first, I have an important question I'd like to ask you, my most senior executives, "does this sound like the call of the black-capped chickadee.
" [Screaming.]
Mr.
Madigan? Yes, True? What the whosit are you doing? Doris' family reunion is this weekend.
They are notorious bird enthusiasts.
So each family member is expected to do a bird call.
I've been assigned the black-capped chickadee.
I can think of a more appropriate bird call for that family, cuckoo.
What was that? Nothing, I just sneezed.
Cuckoo.
I like birds.
My dad used to have a pigeon coop up on our roof.
Used to? Why'd he stop? My Uncle Reggie used the same roof to breed his cats.
It was just a matter of time.
So, True, what do you think of my call? I think you should try it a little louder.
Come here.
Now, if you do it right, a bird will fly right up to the window and be all, "who called me? " Mm-hmm.
[Makes bird call.]
Try a little less whistle and a little more chirp, like this, coo-coo.
Well, I'll be.
It looks like a bird is heading our where'd he go? Well done, bird.
Are you ready to present your design? Sure.
Now, I had a big old speech memorized, but I think I'll just let my dress speak for itself.
Oh, True, I'm speechless.
Yes, I can see the billboard now, for the woman who's out on the town being honored at an art exhibit dedicated solely to her.
That seems awfully specific.
Oh, that's not a common event? Not really.
Anyway, it doesn't need to go into production until tomorrow, so I can address any notes you might have.
Nope, no notes.
No notes? Where have I heard that phrase before? Oh yeah, in this room, the other Yes, you do have an amazing track record.
Amanda, I'm not good in math.
What percentage is that? A 100%.
A 100% bored, bored, bored, bored.
Bored, bored, bored, bored.
Ryan, we're trying to work here.
Can you keep it down? I'm sorry.
Bored, bored, bored, bored.
Bored, bored, bored No one's making you stay.
Go home if you're so bored.
If I leave, who's gonna breathe fun into this, otherwise lifeless office? Who wants to watch me literally eat a hat? Ryan, quit it.
True's trying to work.
Show him what you're working on.
Hah, it's Professor Von pineapple.
I don't have to work, I'm True "100%" Jackson.
Here's your 2 P.
M.
Delivery, True.
Sorry, it's late.
It's only 10 seconds past 2.
00.
I know.
Uncle Max had me working on a very special project.
What did he have you do? Take an item from one place and deliver it to another? It's a lot more than that.
I'm gonna go eat a hat.
You want to watch? Yeah, let me just call Hank and tell him to cover for me.
Oh man, I must have left my phone on the 34th floor.
I didn't know mad style had offices on the 34th floor.
Yeah, you need a special badge to get up there.
But I'm a postal employee, so, you know, all access.
Ow.
So, you guys wanna go check it out? Lame.
Who wants to go see another floor filled with boring dresses? They have a giant incinerator where they burn all the fabric.
Let's go.
Guys, where are you going? Let's go back to the incinerator room and burn up more stuff.
There's nothing left to burn.
You even burned the sign that said incinerator room.
There's gotta be something.
I know, I could burn my sneakers.
You already did that.
Oh yeah.
Hey Lulu, can I see your shoes real fast? What's the reject room? Follow me.
Augh.
Behold, a place where bad ideas are sent to die.
Oh, check this out.
It's so awful.
It even says, "playa playa" on the sleeve.
Oh, these aren't bad.
Mmmm, raspberry.
Ryan, what are you doing? It's all good.
They're edible, see.
Try tilting your head up 10 degrees.
Why would they make poisonous pants so delicious? And leave them in a locked vault where kids can just wander in and eat 'em? It's called the reject room.
It's more like a House of horrors.
They should make prisoners wear this stuff.
You guys, check out this dress.
It's making me crazy dizzy.
Hey True, that looks just like your dress.
Ryan, quiet.
But why would your dress be in the reject room? That doesn't make any sense.
Dude, you can stop talking.
Unless, and I'm just thinking out loud here, instead of loving it, Mr.
Madigan actually hated the dress the whole time.
I can't believe this.
It's just one design.
So what if he didn't like it.
Yeah, you made 63 that he did like.
You know, who I do feel bad for? The clown who designed this suit made entirely of feathers.
That's mine.
Let me finish.
Clown is my highest honor.
Where would the world be without laughter? All the clothes on this rack are mine.
What are they doing up here? It's gotta be a mistake.
You know, what else is a mistake? This zipper hat.
That's mine too.
Let me finish.
True, there you are.
Mr.
Madigan's been looking for you.
He's been looking for you all morning, all morning.
Whoa, did anyone else just black out for a au to come to his office.
Great.
Did he say what he wanted? I asked him, but I think I was using my sleepy voice 'cause I heard the phone drop to the floor, followed by snoring.
This should be fun.
Maybe I could find out more stuff Mr.
Madigan hates about me.
Hey chief, I triple-parked the silver 360 in front of the building.
Put it somewhere safe, will you? You got it.
Ever been to Delaware? Smallest state in the union.
Let's go.
Tell Amanda, Chad Brackett is here.
I was going to stand there.
You mean, where I'm standing? Yeah.
All right.
Chad.
Kitty Cat, I hadn't heard back from you.
I just wanna make sure you're still coming to the big show.
Art show.
Chad, I'm so very, very flattered, but you should know, I'm engaged.
Oh, I hadn't heard that.
It's True, to Peru's greatest shortstop.
You're engaged to brock champion? You've heard of him? El blanco diablo? Of course.
You drinking that? The soda in my hand? Yeah.
All right.
So, what'd you say, Kitty Cat, are you coming to the show or not? A show all about me? I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Great.
Okay, I'll take those car keys now.
You didn't give me your car keys.
Well then, who did I give 'em to? [Phone ringing.]
Mad style.
Hey Ryan.
To Delaware? I think you take I-95.
You wanted to see me? Oh, yes, yes.
Sit down, would you? Ah, I hope I can.
I'm afraid I might mess it up, forget where to put my butt.
That's an odd worry.
I've seen you sit many times, you never seemed to have a problem.
True, I asked you here because you're the only one at mad style who can help me.
Really? I just want to impress grandpappy aidem and the only way to do it is by mastering the black-capped chickadee.
So, you asked me here to discuss bird calls? Yes, can you give me any more pointers? And you don't want to talk more about the dress I presented earlier? No, I already told you.
It's perfect the way it is.
Oh, yeah? There isn't anything you don't like about it? Not one little adjustment you'd make? Remember, we're being a 100% truthful here.
I wouldn't change a thing, True.
You did a great job.
Great.
Now, I think my biggest problem is I'm not utilizing my legs.
[Makes bird soujds.]
What are you guys wearing? We raided the reject room to get fancy for the art opening.
You guys like art? We do not, but we found out there's free cheese.
Are there two more beautiful words in the English language? You wanna come? No, I don't wanna go anywhere.
Free cheese.
I don't think so.
Things didn't go well with Mr.
Madigan? He lied right to my face.
I'm not sure I can work for a liar.
I don't think Mr.
Madigan would purposely lie.
So you think he did it by accident? I don't know.
It seems like everything he does is by accident.
I'll handle this.
They call me the human lie detector.
Who does? The FBI.
I can't really talk about it.
You are talking about it.
Do you want to use my gift or not? Here, I'll demonstrate.
How old are you? False.
Yes, I am.
False.
Ryan, you went to my sweet 16 last month.
False.
Pretty good, huh? It's a gift.
I'm so mad at Mr.
Madigan.
What you need is to get your mind off all this.
Come to the art exhibit with us.
Yeah, there's a dress made of bottle caps got you written all over it.
I can go get it for you.
No, you know what? I'm going to wear my swirly dress.
I'll prove to the world it's beautiful.
Great.
We'll leave as soon as Jimmy gets here.
Jimmy's going too? Hey, True.
Jimmy, you're wearing my suit.
Does that mean you like it? Totally.
Plus, Ryan said he'd be my Butler for the night if I wear it out in public.
I never thought he'd have the guts.
You gotta admire the kid's moxie.
Butler, take me to the elevator.
Wait.
Why are you putting me down? We're here.
That's the answer to the question, "where are we?" Are you wearing your swirly dress? You know it, girl.
Oh boy, here come the dizzies again.
Ryan, this pattern does not make people dizzy.
Excuse me, ma'am, do you like my dress? I'll just keep my coat on.
What's the deal with all this art? Man, look at this place.
Amanda looks like a monster in all this stuff.
This is terrible.
You're not kidding.
I don't see any cheese anywhere.
Oh, there it is.
Amanda's going to freak when she sees this.
What are we gonna do? We'll have to hatch an elaborate plan to prevent her from showing up.
I'm here.
Amanda, Mr.
Madigan needs you back at the office right away.
There's a terrible emergency.
Hey, hey, hey.
Mr.
Madigan, I'm so glad you're safe.
Oscar called and told us the office was on fire.
Sorry, I'm late.
And I'm out of ideas.
I'm so glad you could all be here to share in my glory.
I mean, look how beautiful my head looks on that spider's body.
What is going on here? Kitty Cat, you made it.
Chad, what is the meaning of this? Oh, it's just what it looks like.
I made 83 pieces of art, all depicting you as a grotesque she-beast.
Chad, I know things didn't end well between us, but Yeah, you remember when I said, "nobody throws up on Chad Brackett"? This is what I meant.
But chad hold that thought, Kitty Cat.
I gotta get some cheese before that valet eats it all.
Ahem.
I'd like to do one of these art shows about Mr.
Madigan.
I'd call it, boss, thy name is liar.
So what if you don't like my dress, you jerk face, just be honest about it.
I don't think that would fit on the sign.
I'm not done.
And another thing, "you lying jerk face, my swirly dress does not make people dizzy.
" Ryan's choking.
Anyone know the heimlich? No.
He'll be fine.
How's it going? Great, until Mr.
Liar got here.
Still mad at Uncle Max? Why shouldn't I be? He's such a phony.
Hi, kids.
Nice suit.
Thanks.
Oh really, Mr.
Madigan? You think that's a nice suit? Of course.
That's why I ordered the words in the sentence like that.
If it's so nice, why'd you send it to the reject room? The reject room? Yeah, I know all about it.
I saw everything.
Oh.
Want to go save Ryan's life? I guess.
True, I don't know what to say.
Can't think of any more lies to tell me? I deserve that.
Do you really, or are you just lying again? Please.
True, being a creative person is both a blessing and a curse.
Sometimes, we come up with an idea that makes every synapse in our brain scream, "wow.
" Other times, we come up with a feather suit.
If you didn't like the feather suit, why didn't you just tell me? Oh, you got me wrong.
I loved your feather suit.
I thought we weren't lying anymore.
Well, I didn't love the suit itself.
It's awful, a train-wreck of a design, poorly conceived, impractically constructed.
Thanks, I feel much better.
But I love the inspiration that led you to make it.
True, you can't succeed in anything unless you're willing to experiment, and you can't experiment unless you're willing to fail and that's why I loved that suit.
Thanks.
But it was wrong of me not to tell the truth.
I won't do it again and that's a promise.
Like when you promised to buy Kopelman a house if he cod eat 30 pies? He only ate 29.
I counted the pans.
I stand by my ruling.
I'm not choking.
Whoa, I am not choking.
Hey kids, some show, huh? I like the interplay of shadow and light, shadow and light, so soothing.
Breathe it in.
Oh, what was that? What? It was like a billion volts of electricity shot up my spine.
You're wearing the electric opera dress.
You'll be fine as long as you don't fall asleep.
Yes, you must remain awake.
No matter how heavy your eyelids get, you mustn't drift into the sweet embrace of slumber.
Oh.
Watch it, klutz.
You owe me a million dollars for that.
Get off hey, this is nice.
Ah, you like it? It's hand-hammered bronze.
Yeah, it'd be a shame if it just toppled over.
Oh.
Amanda, why? Once a she-beast, always a she-beast.
Wow, that guy made a real mess of this place.
I know, look at me.
I got guacamole on my coat.
Oh boy, here comes the dizzies.
That's it, the black-capped chickadee.
Mr.
Madigan, you've got a perfectly good incinerator down the hall.
Why do you even keep all this stuff? Ah, sometimes when I get a little full of myself, I stop up here as a reminder that we all make mistakes.
Mm-hmm.
Uncle Max, what's behind this door? Oh, that's the Amanda wing.
She has her own wing? Whoa, that's the biggest room I've ever seen.
Echo, echo.
Echo, echo.
Oh, hi guys.
What are you doing here? What are you doing here? Just admiring my work before it goes into production.
I haven't had the heart to tell her the truth.
She thinks it's called the victory room.