True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e18 Episode Script

True jackson, vp was filmed In front of a live Studio audience.
What's that? Frosty the snow mannequin.
Bored? A little bit.
Did guys hear the news? They found the mayor's cat.
No.
I mean, with me and kelsey.
I called her honey And she didn't roll her eyes.
Are you sure she heard you? Of course she heard me.
Her dad's an ear doctor.
Well, that's great.
I know.
There's two things in life I've always wanted.
One, for kelsey to be my honey, Check.
And two, I wanna be A full-pledged member.
Of the junior magicians' club, The j.
M.
C.
, yo.
What's going on with that? Didn't you have an audition Last month? It's down between me And another kid, bernie.
What kind of magic name is that? It sounds like a guy Who wears sweaters.
And plays chess at the park.
You should invite him over To see how good he is.
Don't have to, He's not gonna be as good as me.
See this pencil, one, two wow.
That's amazing.
You hid it behind your hand.
You could barely tell.
Hey, are you guys comin'.
To sing to hank? Sing to hank, why? It's his retirement party.
He's going on tour With his heavy metal band.
Death geezer? No, they broke up.
He's in a new band, metal hip.
Who's gonna take his place? Personnel is sending Someone over this morning, I hate training new people.
Check this out, jimmy.
One, two pretty good.
You can barely tell It's behind your hand.
for he's a jolly good fellow for he's a jolly good fellow for he's a jolly good fellow which nobody can deny ladies.
Sorry.
Jimmy, would you like To present hank With his golden watch? Hank, we're never Gonna be able to replace you, Never.
Hey, I'm supposed To be working in the mailroom.
Here you go, hank.
Jimmy madigan, mail manager.
Sienna perry, mail trainee.
Why don't I show you Where the magic happens.
Where the magic happens.
It looks like jimmy's Picking up more Than the mail today.
from my head to my toes it's all real and you know, fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e-j-a-c-k-s-o-n-v-p working at a grown up job I never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we just messin' around and we making new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's going down cause I'm the new vp I thought you and jimmy Decided to just be friends.
We did, we are.
I might have made a big mistake, Lulu.
Ryan, there's a bernie here.
Hmmm.
Let's check this clown out.
You're bernie? Un-huh it's short For bernadette.
Hi, I'm true And this is lulu.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why don't you show us What you got? Now? Yeah.
Okay.
Think of a number between one And a hundred.
Okay.
What is it? Open it.
I don't know what number You picked, But I do know you're a dummy.
In a red shirt.
Oh, that was a good one.
That's your trick, Insulting me.
I don't see how that's Gonna get you into the j.
M.
C.
That's a good point.
What was your number again? Are you ready to go, bernie? Yeah, dad.
See you at the finals, dummy.
I like her.
That was a pretty good trick.
A pretty good trick? Clearly she texted her dad The number.
Are you saying He was standing in the lobby.
With a hundred jackets? Uh-huh.
Good morning, oscar, Laserbeam.
Good morning.
What's wrong? Well, I'm one Of two finalists To get into the j.
M.
C.
, And it's possible my opponent Is a hundred times better Than me.
Well, would you like To borrow some of my tricks? You have tricks? I don't talk about it much But I was briefly.
The greatest magician In america.
Really? Why did you stop? For my next trick I need a volunteer.
Anyone at all? Anyone at all? Very good.
Help him up, shirley.
Right this way.
What's your name, son? Private chris murphy.
Do you believe In time travel, Private chris murphy? I guess.
Oh, you guess.
Madam assistant, help him Into the box of time.
The box of time.
Tick-tock, It's magic o'clock.
And then you made him Reappear, right? Well, that was the plan.
Where is he? Where is he? Did you ever I don't really want To talk about it.
Where are you going? Mailroom.
True? What? I have a letter to mail.
Want me to take it? Nah, you seem comfortable.
You just wanna check up On jimmy and the new girl.
That's not it at all.
This happens to be A very, very important letter.
To who? Santa claus.
Where'd these come from? Mr.
Madigan had them Brought over from the warehouse.
Wow.
I've always wanted to try One of these.
Hey, amanda wanna get sawed In half? Sure.
Are you comfortable? I make a nice living.
And now I place These solid steal blades.
Through the middle of the table.
Whoa.
Okay.
Oh.
And now, alakazam.
That's amazing.
Front desk.
I see, we'll be right there.
Ice cream out front.
Oh, let's go.
Hello? Hello? Could somebody get my legs? Okay, I have some news But I don't want you To freak out.
I don't freak out.
There's a big Postal ball tonight.
What? True, don't go jumping To conclusions.
He's gonna take sienna, And they're gonna fall in love.
Yeah, that's sort of what I meant by jumping To conclusions.
You don't think He's gonna ask her.
Well, he might.
They're both weirdos about mail.
And you did sort of tell him You weren't ready For a boyfriend.
Thanks for reminding me.
You're welcome.
I was being sarcastic.
I know.
So was I.
Hello.
Max, by chance, Did you see my legs In the break room? Hmm.
What did they look like? A pair of legs Sticking out of a box.
I didn't see anything Like that.
Hey, mr.
M, Thanks for the illusions.
You're welcome.
I just hope you have more luck With them than I did.
My audition's At the manor of magic.
Do you wanna come? Oh, goodness, no.
I haven't stepped foot In that place in years.
But I'm sure you'll do great.
Well, I just hope donald, The delightful thinks so.
Donald, the delightful? Yeah.
You know him? I do.
He was my assistant.
I trusted him like a brother.
Little did I know He would steal my tricks.
So you haven't been back To the manor of magic since? I have not.
Nor will I ever, ever.
Great story But I was only half listening.
Get it? Fellas, come back here.
I have got to stop them From going to that ball.
Not this again.
What if they dance and kiss And fall in love.
Then it's fate.
That's supposed To be my fate, Not some new girl.
True, maybe he's not even Interested in her.
You know what? You're right.
I was probably just worried About nothing, you know? Honk honk.
Pretty fast at sorting.
Yeah, my dad was a mailman.
He use let me and my sister Tag along to his branch.
I wish my dad Was a mailman.
He's a stupid astronaut.
So about this postal ball yes.
I was wondering Maybe you'd like mail.
Hey, that's a lot of mail.
Plus, none of these Have zip codes on them.
Oh, oh.
This is gonna take us hours.
I'm so sorry.
I hope you didn't have anywhere To go tonight.
Don't you wink at me.
Thanks for coming, you guys.
It really means a lot to me.
Let's get a table Before bernie goes on.
Okay.
Oh, there's my lovely assistant.
Did my tricks get here okay? I don't know.
Well, I asked you To make sure.
Guess what? I didn't.
Well, wish me luck.
You're gonna do great.
And even if you don't, We'll pretend that you did.
We'll be all, "how did he do that?" and I'll be all, "what, What, what's it in the house.
" and I'll be all, "what time is this thing over?" ready to raise the roof Off this place? I guess.
That's the spirit.
Well, well, if it isn't The second best magician Backstage.
Mm.
I hope you're ready To get destroyed.
What's Your favorite landmark? I don't know.
The eiffel tower? Ha, wouldn't have thought That.
Oh, come on.
Hey.
Hello, everybody.
I'm donald the delightful.
Hey.
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Now, as you know, Each year we allow One new member.
Into our junior division.
Now, tonight, We have two finalists.
So without any further ado, I give to you bernie.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Thank you.
How about a hand For one of the greatest Magicians of all time, Donald the delightful? I'm delightful.
If you would give me a hand With this? Yes, sure.
Nice.
Ooh.
Nice.
Mr.
Delightful, Have you seen my dad? No.
Clean your room.
Dad.
Yeah.
What's with you? I feel kind of bad About giving jimmy All that work to do.
You should.
Maybe I'll call in And check with him.
Hi, oscar, Can I speak to jimmy, please? He what? She what? They what? They went to the postal ball.
What about All the pretend work You gave them? They did it all.
Apparently, sienna knows Every zip code in the country By heart.
Let's go.
We can't leave before ryan.
He won't care.
Come on, let's ask him.
Hey, ryan.
You know we support you In everything you do, right? Of course.
So it's cool if we take off? You mean before I go on? Uh-huh.
Yeah, I'll come with you.
But you can't leave.
It's been your dream To get into the j.
M.
C.
The j.
M.
C.
, yo.
I'm starting to think That little kook Is actually magic.
She put a cloth On her dad's head, So what? Anyway, good luck.
Did you see that? No.
True, slow down.
I don't know If I'm on board with this: Crashing a party, Ruining their date.
Come on, lulu.
Jimmy and I Have something special.
You know that.
You'd seen the way he smiles When we're together.
Yeah.
But I also believe in fate.
If you're supposed To be together, Fate will figure out a way how.
Well, until fate Figures it out, I'm handling things.
Hi.
Hi.
Can I take your tickets? You need tickets? Yeah.
It's a private event.
I'm super sorry.
You seem friendly.
Could we go in anyway? One second.
I'm gonna need some attack dogs Out front.
You're not nearly as friendly As we thought.
Hello again, everybody.
I'm donald the delightful.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, thanks.
And now for our second finalist, Please welcome ryan the amazing.
Ooh.
How are you feeling, Manor of magic? Yes.
Assistant, will you give me The tube of mystery? Which one is it? It's the only thing In the table That looks like a tube.
Now, legend has it That it was owned By a wizard named elgor.
And as you can see, It is completely empty, right? Not really.
It's full of scarves.
I put it down on this table And alakazam A mountain of scarves.
Called it.
Perhaps My beautiful assistant Would like to step.
Into the cage of terror.
I don't think so.
Oh, come on, Beautiful assistant, Get in the cage.
Don't want to.
What's the worst That can happen? You turn into A magnificent tiger.
Forget it.
It's already in there Crouching behind a mirror.
Kelsey, you're wrecking it.
If you don't let me go, I'll tell everyone you cry.
During grey's anatomy.
Give kelsey applause.
Let's give her a big hand.
And now I take you to a land Where the impossible Is possible.
No, no.
No, no, no.
No.
I'm sorry, son.
We're not going to that land.
You know the rules.
All finalists must have An assistant, hmm? Yeah.
But she But, no.
Please exit the stage.
I will be his assistant.
Mr.
Madigan.
Is that you, magnificent? I'm afraid so, delightful.
Hello shirley.
Hello, max.
Now, where were we? The cage of terror.
The cage of terror.
Legend has it It was once owned By a wizard named elgor.
Oh, no.
What is it? Are they dancing? They're dancing.
What are they doing now? They're still dancing.
It's only five seconds later.
If you're at all curious About that cracking sound, It's my spine.
Just a few more minutes.
Uh-oh was it An uh-oh, you're falling? No.
Uh-oh, I think jimmy saw me.
Why did I even come here? True, you know I think you're awesome, But maybe it wasn't meant to be.
He loves mail.
She loves mail.
They're at a mail ball.
Maybe you're not The main character of the story.
I'm sad.
I know.
But you can't stop fate.
I'll go see If I can get us a cab.
Oh, jimmy.
I thought that was you.
What are you doing here? Being stupid.
Following you and sienna.
Why? Because I'm jealous.
Oh.
Shouldn't you go inside? I don't wanna go anywhere.
Don't you wanna dance? I can dance right here.
But what about sienna? Yeah, she's pretty great, But she's not you.
And the winner by a score Of like a hundred to nothing.
Is bernie.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Ryan the amazing, You put up a valiant effort, But unfortunately.
You are banished From the premises forever.
I know you hate me, Delightful, But don't take it out.
On the boy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did somebody say something? I couldn't hear 'cause I've got a giant quarter In my ear.
Don't try to distract me With a lame parlor trick which, For the record, I taught you.
You did? Of course.
I taught you Everything you know.
Is that so? Then on this day, I challenge you, Max the magnificent, To a magic battle.
A battle of magic.
It's on.
And if I win, The boy here becomes A full-fledged member.
Of the manor.
Done.
And if I win, You take back shirley.
Hey.
Oh, hey, Just kidding, pumpkin.
You're the best.
Quick, shake on it.
And now, A trick I haven't performed In many, many years.
But before I do, Is anybody in From out of town? Private chris murphy? Where am I? I didn't miss the war, did I? All right, son, welcome to the J.
M.
C.
It's the greatest moment of my life.
The J.
M.
C yo!