True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e19 Episode Script

209 - The Hunky Librarian

True Jackson, vp was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Gumdrops, lollipops raisins and kougal she's a happy little girl named Valentine mcdougal Connie cathead's there with buttons McGee together they live in the butterscotch tree Valentine mcdougal what a beautiful day.
These gumdrops will be delicious in my gumdrop pie.
Mikey J, is that you? Guess again.
Ryan, what are you doing here? Riding a magical unicorn named charisma who poops wishes.
I have one question for you.
Do you heart wuv? What's wrong? Nothing.
Lulu.
I had a dream about Ryan last night.
The one where he's got a donkey's head and he's all, "hee-haw, hee-haw, I'm Ryan the donkey boy.
" Because I had that one Saturday.
No, this one was more romantic in nature.
You said what now? I don't really want to talk about it.
Mad style, please hold.
Mad style, please hold.
Is it switch-a-roo day again, Amanda? I wish.
Then I'd either switch with Oscar, who's on a cruise, or Max, who's at a fancy party in the hamptons.
Are you gonna be the receptionist all day? I hope not.
I'm still waiting for the replacement from the semi-reliable temp agency.
I'm starting to think that's not just a catchy name.
I can't believe Oscar's on another cruise.
That guy must have like a million nautical miles.
Oh, by the way, Barrett broontas called.
He had a last minute opening in his schedule and will be here at 4:00.
You have the most amazing luck.
Oh, I don't know about that.
Ooh, a dollar.
Who's Barrett broontas? They call him the nose.
He's the most influential perfume reviewer in the business.
They say his sense of smell is five times greater than the average person.
I hope he's not taking the subway here.
Somehow little miss lucky just got an audience with him.
It's going to be perfect.
A good review from the nose will really help launch our new fragrance line.
Mad style's doing a perfume? You've been helping me on it for the past month.
I'm gonna be honest.
I bought wireless headphones a month ago and I haven't heard much of anything.
Ladies.
Hello.
Anyone need anything from the storage closet? I hear there's new pens.
What's with her? Oh, you know how she is on new pen day.
Hey, can you help me safety proof the office? My unlucky Uncle Troy is coming by to visit.
Oh, come on.
He can't be that bad.
He holds the world record for falling down elevator shafts.
It's more than one? Last summer, he and my dad went on a road trip, he got hit by lightning nine times.
My dad was all, "close the sun roof, Uncle Troy.
" There's my favorite niece.
Hey, Uncle Troy, you made it.
Of course, I made it.
What did you think, I was gonna get hit by a truck? No, no, no.
Because I did.
I got run over by a book-mobile after my class.
You're taking a class? That's right.
What's the class called? That's right.
The class is called that's right? That's right.
The philosophy is if you answer any question with, "that's right," good things will happen.
And it's already working.
I got me a new job.
Where? Here.
When I got off the elevator, the lady behind the counter asked if I was the new receptionist.
And you said That's right.
But you've never been a receptionist before.
That's right.
Well, welcome aboard.
I'm sure you'll do great.
Dang.
Second time today.
From my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown up job never really knew I could work this hard used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in the office as the new vp I'm always settin' trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just a messin' around and we're makin' new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know what's going down 'cause I'm the new vp How's Uncle Troy doing? Pretty good.
I've been watching him for 10 minutes and nothing bad has His phone's on fire.
Can you take this one? I don't want him to think I'm being over protective.
You got it.
I thought he'd never leave.
Are you still freaking out about your dream? I believe the word is haunted.
It was horrible.
We were in Valentine mcdougal's marshmallow meadow and he was brushing my long, beautiful hair.
That's the worst thing I ever heard.
I know.
It was horrible.
Whatever you do, don't push the button on your phone that looks like a little flame.
I'm going to the supply closet.
Anyone need pens? Man, she really likes pens.
Uncle Troy, did you collate those reports I gave you? That's right.
Very good.
Can you let true know the test results for her new fragrance are in? Yeah.
Hey, true.
I got your test results.
You read it, Lulu.
I'm too nervous.
I can't find them.
Did you put them on my desk? That's right.
I'll look again.
There's a positive column and a negative column.
Which do you want to hear first? The positive.
That's great.
What's the negative? It burns people's skin.
What? It does not say that.
experienced a mild form of skin blistering.
What about the other 20%? Rushed to the hospital.
Why am I not feeling lucky right now? It's okay, little niece.
No one knows how luck works.
I can't believe Uncle Troy rubbed his bad luck all over my shoulder.
You're overreacting.
All I wanted was a box of tootie fruits, and I can't even get that.
Plus, the nose is gonna be here in two hours and I have nothing for him to review.
Oh, why don't you just come up with a new scent before he gets here? In two hours? I worked on the last one for a month.
I'll help you.
We'll go up to the testing suites and do it together.
You don't mind? Not at all.
It'll help keep me awake.
I'm deathly afraid of falling asleep and having another dream about Ryan.
Hey, my tootie fruits.
Maybe my luck hasn't gone bad after all.
Shouldn't we be getting to the perfume lab? In a second.
Your arm's stuck, isn't it? Little bit.
Okay, I think I've got something.
Why am I wearing a blindfold again? Well, they say when you eliminate one of your senses, the others get stronger.
Tell me what you think of this.
It smells a little like garlic.
Garlic? With a hint of salami.
And bad mayonnaise.
Kopelman.
Do you mind? Ladies.
Hey, Ryan.
You'll never guess what the secret ingredient in my perfume is.
Garlic and mayonnaise? No.
Cat pheromones.
Cat pheromones? Yeah, remember? We studied them in science class last week.
That may have been the day I got my tiny headphones.
Apparently, there's some chemical compound that smells irresistible.
I need you to test it out in the field to see how real people react to it.
Forget it.
I'm not going outside with cat juice on my neck.
I'll get attacked by cats.
I'll do it.
Cats hate me.
I suspect it has to do with the large amount of dog hair I've accumulated on my pants over the years.
That smells pretty good.
And I'm a dude.
Lulu, what you do think? Yeah, it's pretty good.
You can't smell me from there.
Come over here.
Closer.
Really get up in there.
Yeah, perfect.
Ready to test it out in the field? Ready, willing and able.
I'm even rockin' the hands-free so I can use both hands to write down numbers.
Look out, ladies, here I come.
This is gonna go great.
I think your luck is back on track.
I know.
In fact, here's another dollar.
Gross.
Kopelman's lettuce.
Hey, Uncle Troy.
How's it going? Couldn't be better.
Ever since my phone melted, all I've got to do is sit around here eating tootie fruits.
Tootie fruits.
Where did you get those? The snack machine in the break room.
I put a dollar in and I got five boxes.
Then it started shooting out coins like a slot machine.
I got like 20 bucks in quarters.
Huh.
You don't think it's possible to trade luck, do you? What do you mean, like you and Uncle Troy? Yeah.
Everything's going bad for me and he's playing the vending machine like it's Atlantic city.
That's ridiculous.
You can't swap luck.
Besides, you just came up with a great fragrance.
Nobody with bad luck could have done that.
This is true.
Hey, what was in that stuff you put on me again? Cat pheromones.
Why? Because I just got chased down an alley by a hundred cats.
What about ladies? No ladies.
Just cats.
Where are you now? Dangling from a fire escape.
Whatever you do, hold on.
Got it.
Hello? Hello? What happened? The phone went dead after Ryan got attacked by cats.
Well, that's a relief.
Now I don't have to spend the rest of the day looking for pens.
Lulu, can you think about somebody besides yourself for a minute? You're right.
I hope he's okay.
Not him, me.
I've got Uncle Troy's bad luck.
Look at this.
Even my horoscope is implying my luck has taken a bad turn.
What's it say? "Your luck has taken a bad turn.
" Now read mine.
You're not gonna like it.
Sure, I will.
"Today, your dreams will come true.
" Quick, unplug it.
Knockity-knock.
You've got a phone call from wdaj.
I don't have time right now.
Can you take it? Okay.
She's not in right now.
Me? I'm Uncle Troy.
I won what? Concert tickets? And a speedboat? Today's my lucky day.
So whatcha doing? Eating a salad, trying to figure out how to fire Uncle Troy? Fire him? He's amazing.
I don't know how he manages to finish all those tasks I've given him.
Yeah, he's great.
I just hope Mr.
Madigan isn't mad you hired someone without his permission.
Seems like the sort of thing he'd get mad at.
True, we are never firing Uncle Troy.
We're lucky to have him.
Very lucky.
Lulu told you, didn't she? Yes.
Oh, one hour till the nose shows up.
I sure hope Max doesn't find out you bungled your assignment.
Seems like the sort of thing he'd get mad at.
Okay, okay.
I'm just gonna have to come up with a new fragrance that's even better than the last one.
You mean, better than the one that burns people's skin? Yes.
Mikey J.
Where's Ryan? I'm gonna clean his clock.
Now's not a good time.
Too bad.
What's gotten into you? The honor of my lady.
I'm gonna go clean Ryan's clock.
Mikey J, you've got to stop saying that.
Why, too violent? No, too silly.
I don't wanna stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but could I offer a little advice? Sure.
That'd be great, actually.
Ryan's got the height advantage, but you've got speed on your side.
So you're gonna wanna stick and move, stick and move.
Got it? Thank you.
That's very helpful.
Uncle Troy.
I didn't wanna send him into a fight unprepared.
The idea was not to send him into a fight.
Yes.
Now that you say it out loud, I can see how that would've been better advice.
Sorry.
Tootie fruit? What are you doing? Trying not to fall asleep.
I'm afraid if I close my eyes again I'll dream about Ryan.
Speaking of which, Mikey J.
Just showed up looking for him.
Oh, no.
I never should have told him.
Lulu, you can control your dreams.
You know what I do when I'm having a dream I don't like? I just pick up a remote and change the channel.
You do this in your dream? Yeah.
And if that doesn't work, just picture Ryan looking goofy instead of romantic.
How do I picture him looking goofy? I am not having a good day.
Okay, I'm good.
Did Mikey J.
Do this to you? No, like a billion cats.
It was fun at first, but then some of the bigger cats started getting really rough.
Wait.
Why would Mikey J.
Do this to me? Lulu? I told Mikey J.
I had a dream about you and now he's super jealous.
Why would he be jealous of a half donkey/half me that says, "hee-haw, hee-haw.
I'm Ryan the donkey boy"? You weren't a donkey in this one.
Camel? No.
Spider? No.
Half camel/half spider? No.
Okay, I'm out.
What was I? You were kinda sweet.
We picked gum drop flowers and then you held my hand as we skipped through the valley of cuddles.
Mikey J.
Is gonna kill me.
Yes.
Guys, I hate to interrupt, but I'm running out of time before the nose gets here.
We'll help you.
Absolutely.
I'll meet you guys up there, I just need a minute to wake up.
So tired.
I'm just gonna shut my eyes for a second.
Sleeping on true's couch.
Trying not to dream about the most wonderful boy in the world.
This is just a dream.
I can control it like true said.
Think of something unromantic.
Something unromantic.
Thanks, kopelman.
It worked.
What worked? Oh, stupid remote, there's no batteries.
I took them.
What do you want? Since we're dream boyfriend and girlfriend now, I wanted you to meet some of my friends.
I heart wuv.
Ryan, is that the watermelon essence? Yup.
Ryan.
All right, tell me what you think of this.
Give me a sip.
Just sniff it.
Pretty good.
It makes me feel so relaxed and peaceful.
Ryan.
Mikey J.
, what's up? I'm here to defend my lady's honor, that's what's up.
Guys, please, the nose is gonna be here in an hour, and I've gotta come up with the perfect smell.
Yeah, and I'm helping her, so maybe you could come back later.
How about if I help? That way we can have our fight before it gets too late? I've got a ton of homework.
Sure, thanks.
Tell me what you think of this? It's nice.
Well, don't drink it.
Why would I drink it? It's almost there.
Maybe if we combined it with something herby.
Like basil.
Great idea.
Ryan, find me some basil.
There's a million scents here.
How am I gonna find basil? Here it is.
Thanks.
Not bad, not bad at all.
You know what would make it perfect? Jasmine.
It's Lulu's favorite flower.
You're right.
It's perfect.
Thanks, Mikey J.
Want me to help you put your boxing gloves back on? No, that Jasmine smell reminded me of Lulu, and I know she wouldn't want me to get in a fight.
I'm not gonna get hurt.
Awesome, let's go.
Whoa.
Hey, Uncle Troy, did the nose get here yet? I haven't seen him, but I did leave the front desk for a little while to make my famous gumbo.
Want some? No, thanks.
Come on, girl.
I'm famous for it.
Don't embarrass me.
Okay.
Uncle Troy! My perfume! My gumbo! Oh, no.
I've been tearing my office apart for hours, and I'm getting the sense you haven't done any of the work I've asked you to.
That's right.
But you said you did.
That's right.
So you lied.
That's right.
I see.
Well, I appreciate your honesty.
Keep up the good work.
Sorry about spilling gumbo into your perfume.
That's okay, Uncle Troy, I know you didn't mean it.
What are you doing? Trying to stay awake.
Don't worry this is only my second cup.
Another nightmare? Ryan made a boat out of daffodils and we sailed on the River of wuv.
Did you finish the new scent? I did, but now it's ruined.
We can try again.
We're not gonna have enough time to finish before the nose gets here.
How do you know? Maybe he's running late.
Hello.
Hi, I'm True Jackson.
Oh, I'm looking forward to smelling what you have in store for me.
Sweet cinnamon.
That's one of the smells we were playing around with.
Sweet cinnamon.
Please give me a minute to warm up my instrument.
Lulu, stop staring.
I can't help it.
It's everywhere I move my eyes.
Mr.
broontas, I appreciate you fitting me into your schedule, but I'm afraid I don't have anything to present you.
What's that in your hand? This was supposed to be our new fragrance, but it's not very good.
You're right, this isn't very good.
It's very great! You said what now? It's fascinating.
It's flowery, like Jasmine, with a hint of cayenne pepper, like gumbo.
What do you call this? Luck.
Luck.
Interesting.
So you'll be giving us a positive review? Indeed.
Well, good day.
Ooh, my instrument.
Oh, hey, sorry.
That one was on me.
I have traveled long and far a million miles I have bounded through but I would forge a gazillion more for a single kiss from my lady Lulu yes! To the rainbow forest.
Yah, charisma, yah.
I've got some amazing news.
I've been transferred to the mad style office in Milan.
Let me guess.
They offered you a job, asked if you could speak Italian and you said, "that's right.
" That's right.
Congratulations.
I guess you're my lucky charm, little niece.
You're my lucky charm, Uncle Troy.
The nose wrote a glowing review of my perfume in the article.
I'm glad.
Well, see you at Thanksgiving.
Bye-bye now, or, as they say in Italy, good-a-bye.
I'll walk you out.
You know, I hate to say it, but for a little while I thought you passed your bad luck onto me.
That's ridiculous.
You can't pass bad luck to someone.
Leaving, Uncle Troy? Yup.
Thanks for everything, Amanda.
A pleasure.
Oh, after you.
Oh.
Such a gentleman.
I'm okay.
And you're only 10 away from my record.
I should probably take the other elevator.
That's right