True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e22 Episode Script

223 - True Secret

True Jackson VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Hello True Jackson, coworker.
Hello Jimmy Madigan, coworker.
Looks like you have some parcels there, are there any for me? Yes, I'm glad you asked.
This one is for you, it's a little heavy, shall I put it in your office? Yes, yes, that would be very helpful.
Finally alone.
I know just you, me and Mr.
Madigan's "no office dating policy".
I know it's a pain but we can handle it.
- No one has any idea - Excuse me True Is everything okay? Yeah, Jimmy's just showing me how many pushups he can do.
A hundred and three, a hundred and four - Did you want something? - Yes, there's an - emergency staff meeting in 5 minutes.
- Got it.
Four hundred and thirty.
Four hundred and eighty.
You can stop now Jimmy he's gone.
That was a close one.
Well, I better get back to work.
Knock knock! A thousand and five.
A thousand and six.
- You can get up Jimmy, it's just Lulu.
- Oh.
Just Lulu! Good morning to you too.
By the way I really can do over a thousand push ups.
- We believe you.
- We believe you.
- No way.
- Not a chance.
Ah, sit down True, I was just about to deliver some bad news.
Forget that then, I'm going back to my office.
The sad fact is productivity is down thirty five percent.
- I blame True.
- Hey! I attribute this, to a sudden drop in company moral.
Caused by True.
- Maybe everyone's got the Grumpy's.
- That's exactly it! No one seems to be having any fun around here.
For Pete's sake people are falling asleep at the table.
Oh! Kopelman.
- Permission to speak freely Sir? - Granted.
Maybe no one's having fun because it too stuffy around here.
We should shake things up a little, maybe have free ice cream day or Hawaii shirt Friday's, or get rid of the no dating policy.
Mm, I think you may be on to something.
Really? We can have a whole luau theme to go along with the Hawaiian shirts.
Maybe roast a pig in the reception area.
Yeah, then we can get rid on the no dating policy, and eat free ice cream.
I've got an even better idea! Do tell Max, but please keep your voice down Kopelman's asleep.
He looks like an Angel.
We're going to have a carnival.
- What? - An office carnival.
- Oh! - Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Then we can eat free ice cream and date whoever we want.
No! From my head to my toes, it's all real and you know.
Fresh and cool, it's just what I do.
Working at a grown-up job.
I never really knew I could work this hard.
Just used to sit at home and watch TV.
Now I'm in an office as the new VP.
I'm always setting trends, with my two best friends.
When things get out of hand, we have a plan.
We're just messing around, and we're making new ground.
For the whole wide world to see.
If you see us in town, you know it's going down.
Because I'm the new VP.
So what's the deal, there's going to be a carnival? Yeah to cheer everyone up, I don't know if will be a big thing though.
Mad Carnival, who needs tickets? - How much are tickets? - They're free.
Then why do we need tickets? You mean why have I been placed in a cage for the entire afternoon? I have no idea.
Mr.
Madigan sure went all out.
I know he even hired a creepy carnival worker to run the games.
- That's Mitchell from the copy room.
- Oh yeah.
I didn't recognize him out of his jump suit.
I am going to win a big stuffed bear for Kelsey.
No lady can resist the allure of a big stuffed bear.
There's Jimmy.
Oh, hello Jimmy Madigan.
Work place associate.
Hello True Jackson, lady who works in the same building as me.
- Fine carnival we're having, huh? - Yes it certainly is.
Hello kids! Having fun? - Sure are Uncle Max.
- It's a real moral booster.
- Mm! - Everyone loves a carnival.
When is this disgusting circus going to end? Oh, it's not a circus, it's a carnival! A circus would have required fifty percent more elephant poop.
Elephant poop? Mm, the smell helps create the proper atmosphere.
Sounds like my dads gym socks, my moms all "Just throw them away Larry, they're just twenty nine cents a pair".
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Good one! This is exactly what we needed for moral.
And thanks again for letting us use your office to store the poop.
What?! Jimmy! I wonder if you wouldn't mind helping out with one of the booths? - Sure Uncle Max, which one? - The kissing booth.
- He said what now? - Say what now? Just a little peck on the cheek, nothing scandalous.
I'd do it myself, but Doris would kill me.
I don't know Uncle Max, I was kinda hoping to play some games.
Ah, there will be plenty of time for games later, now come come! - Hey, dumpling you made it.
- What'd you want to show me? - This it's a carnival.
- Is it usually here? - No this is an office building, remember? - Oh yeah, it's pretty cool.
Want to know what else is pretty cool? Stuffed bear I'm going to win for you.
- I love stuffed bears.
- Hey there He-Man.
Win a bear for your lady fair? You knows it now stand back while I bring the noise.
Ahem.
Winner! Here's a comb.
- I don't want a comb, I want a bear.
- I collect bears.
Too bad you don't collect kitty cats, because you've got one right here.
I'm just kidding young man, you want to try again? Ah.
Whew! - Winner! Here's a comb.
- Stop handing me combs, I want a bear.
I collect bears.
Winner! I don't suppose you want to start collecting combs? Not really.
Well uh, maybe I'm just not warmed up yet, you want to go get a corn dog? You think you can lift it? Hey Lulu, do you know where the kissing booth is? - True, what about Jimmy? - He's working at it.
Oh really? Yeah, a part of me wants to go check it out.
But what if I see him kissing someone else? I might go crazy and wind up in jail.
Well, just forget about Jimmy, we don't need boys to have fun.
You can just hang out with me.
And Mikey J.
True! Care to try your luck at the dunk tank? Not just now, Mr.
Madigan.
Oh, how can you pass up an opportunity to dunk Kopelman in to an ice cold tank Filled with piranhas! I think I'm going to go check the other areas first.
Well, have it your way chicken.
Chicken? - Ah! - Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Look! He's being eaten by fish.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Oh.
- Jimmy! - Hey True.
- So uh, how's it going? - Pretty good.
- How's it going with you? - It's going okay, you know - Considering the snakes got loose! - The what? Oh, carnival snakes mostly rattlers.
- And they got loose you say? - Yeah, they're everywhere.
- There's one! - Ah! Snake! Let's go! Uh, to tell you the truth, I may have lied a little.
So how did you like kissing all those girls? I didn't.
- Now who's lying? - I didn't I promise.
I only want to kiss you.
Here I'll prove it.
We better not wait come here! I should get one of these for my office.
We better get our photo's before someone sees them.
Can you imagine how angry Mr.
Madigan would be if he saw those pictures? - Did I hear my name? - Mr.
Madigan! - Uncle Max this isn't what you think.
- Hmm, what I think Is that this is the slowest photo booth in history! I took my picture twenty minutes ago and nothing yet.
Oh! So, what did you two do in there? - Nothing.
- Nothing.
Oh nonsense, clearly you were up to something funny, like this Or this - I got it! - I got it! I'm very disappointed.
Cross eyed! Just like my drivers license photo.
Winner! Hey Ryan, cool if I take I turn, I want to win a bear for Lulu.
Don't get your hopes up, the things rigged.
Tiger in the house, here you go compadre.
Thanks Mikey J.
Oh good you finally got the stupid thing working, give me that.
- Maybe you're not hitting it hard enough.
- I know how it works.
I've got ten combs that say you don't.
Finally coming out for a little fun Amanda? Hardly, I'm coming out for a little coffee.
Great.
Ah! Whoa! You know I don't get enough Cotton Candy they should serve it in restaurants, I'd go to a Cotton Candy themed restaurant.
Well, there's that new one on 63rd, you can't miss it there's always someone throwing up out front.
I think we're done with the Cotton Candy.
Creepy fun house? When did they turn my office in to a creepy fun house? He-he-he-he-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Pretty creepy alright, but where's the fun? Oh there it is.
Jimmy! True! What is the meaning of this? - Mr.
Madigan! - Uncle Max we can explain.
- Go ahead True.
- Me? Well how much did you see? I was posing as a ghoul waiting to yell "boo" and I saw the two of you kissing! Well I guess you saw everything.
We can't lie to you Uncle Max True and I are sorta seeing each other.
You know there's a strict office no dating policy.
Yes, that's why we figured sneaking around was the better way to go.
We really like each other.
I guess I should have seen it coming.
Oh, you two do make a great couple.
- So you understand? - Of course I understand True.
I'll need an answer by the end of the day.
An answer about what? - Which one of you is quitting.
- You said what now!? I'm sorry by the time the "march of the penny whistles", signals the end of the day I'll need a decision.
Who stays, who goes.
Now, enjoy the rest of the carnival you crazy love birds.
This is terrible, I can't believe one of us has to quit.
He-he-he-he-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Do you mind? I can't believe Uncle Max put us in this situation.
I know, but you're really good at what you do, I'm sure you'll land on your feet.
What was that? I said you're really good at what you do, and I'm sure you'll land on your feet.
Wait, are you suggesting that I'm the one that's quitting? Well sort of, I mean I'm an executive.
- And I'm just the mail room guy? - Yeah.
I happen to be the glue that holds this pace together okay, ask anyone.
I just mean that you're able to get a job at a bunch of places.
But how many nuts are willing to hire a kid to be a Vice President? Who says you even have to be an executive? You're still in high school.
So? So, no offense but it's not like you really need a job.
- My job's important to me.
- So's mine.
He-he-he-he-ha-ha-ha-ha.
I'm two seconds away from unplugging you.
- So you're not planning on quitting? - Not at the moment, no.
Neither am I.
Well then I guess we have nothing more to discuss.
I guess we don't.
He-he-he-he-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Oh you going down Jack.
I don't hear you laughing now! Whoa, it's creepy in here.
- Enjoying the carnival? - No this is the worst day ever.
Mr.
Madigan caught Jimmy and me kissing, and we had to tell him we're a couple.
- Not even.
- It gets worse.
He said one of us has to quit by the end of the day.
- One of us, like you and me? - No, me and Jimmy.
Oh boy! This is bad.
I wonder who my new boss is going to be? They better be someone cool, because I've got my own way of doing things.
Lulu, do you think it's possible you're being a little selfish right now? It's possible.
- Well, how are you feeling about this? - I don't know it all happened so fast.
I still don't know what to feel.
What do you think I should do? Well you've had a pretty good run, you could retire, take up golf You think I should quit? I don't know.
Sometimes you have to sacrifice what you want for the sake of a relationship.
For example me and Mikey J were going to share a Cotton Candy.
I wanted a pink one but Mikey wanted a blue one - So what did you do? - We got them both they're free.
- Where's Mikey now? - In the bouncy house throwing up.
- I want a bear.
- I'm working on it.
Ahem! Listen up my man I'm in a bit of a situation here What do you say you give me one of those bears And call it a day.
Sorry, if you don't have the skill, you can't have the thrill.
But thanks for the tip amigo.
They're all out of bears.
You don't seem to be having a very good time Jimmy.
- Who said that? - It's me.
I'm in here.
Oh, hey Oscar.
- Yeah, I'm not having a very good time.
- Anything I can help with? No, I'm just sort of mad at someone I don't want to be mad at.
Is it the security guard in the lobby who always has to make a snarky comment when you get a new ascot? Because he is the last person who should be talking about clothes.
Anyway, Oscar - Do you think my job's important? - Of course I do.
You're the glue that holds this place together.
That's what I think! What are you so upset about? I've got the upper body strength of a ten year old girl.
Hey, can I ask you something? It's pretty impressive that I work here.
How is that a question? I mean if I didn't have this job, that would be bad right? - Yeah, that would be way bad.
- You're right, there's no way I can quit.
Quit? Why would you quit? Mr.
Madigan found out about me and Jimmy, and now one of us has to quit.
But if you don't work here where am I going to hang out? And eat a bunch of free food while making long distance calls.
The next thing you know they're going to take away my key to the fancy bathroom.
Of course they will.
After all I've done for this company? This is the thanks I get? I am so mad I feel like hitting something.
Somebody call animal control, there's a tiger in the office.
I wanted a blue one.
Sorry no tradesies.
I don't make the rules.
I'll take a blue one.
- I love him so much.
- I know you do baby.
Can you please not squeeze my hand that hard? I'm not quitting my job forget it! Oh yes! It's the march of the penny whistles! I hereby declare carnival day to be officially over! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Oh! True! It's the end of the day, have you figured out what you're going to do? - Yep.
- So what's it going to be? You'll find out soon enough.
- Mr.
Madigan? - Yes True? I've made my decision You know how much I love working here at Mad Style.
I do.
I'm pretty lucky to have gotten my dream job at fifteen.
But I'm sixteen now.
And I figure I still have plenty of time to dream.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm quitting.
I'll have Lulu help me clean out my office immediately.
First thing tomorrow.
She has a lot of homework to do tonight.
Well that's very generous of you True, but it won't be necessary.
Jimmy has already resigned from the mail room.
He what? When? About a half an hour ago.
Jimmy - True.
- You're quitting? Yeah, when did Uncle Max tell you? - Right after I told him I was quitting.
- You did? True that's crazy, you were right, you're an executive you're important.
- I'm just the mail guy.
- Don't say that Jimmy.
You're the glue that holds this place together.
Well, yeah I'm the glue.
And you're important.
Mostly you're important to me and If I have to choose between you and a job Well I choose you.
I choose you too.
Ahem! It's okay Uncle Max, only one of us works here now.
Actually neither of us do.
If Jimmy and I can't be together because of some dumb office rule Then maybe this isn't the place I want to work.
I'm sorry Mr.
Madigan, but my resignation stands.
Well, then I believe we're at a bit of an impasse.
Because I will not accept your resignation.
- But Mr.
Madigan I - It's okay True.
- I'll go.
- No you won't.
Because I will not accept your resignation either.
I've been watching the two of you.
Normally there's such a positive energy when you're together.
After I caught you today, well it just sucked all the air out of the afternoon.
I mean here I was trying to raise company moral, and making my two happiest employees miserable at the same time.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? I am.
- I'm resigning.
- What!? How about you just get rid of the no dating rule? Even better! Ha-ha! Thank you Mr.
Madigan.
You're the best.
I could never loose you True, you're the glue that holds the company together.
Wait a minute I thought I was the glue.
Hey! I'm the glue! I'm the glue! - Ryan won me a bear.
- It's so cute.
Mikey J won me a bunch of them too.
Hey! Hey.
Today turned out to be a really big moral booster Mr.
Madigan.
Yes, and next week will be even better.
- What's happening next week? - Hawaiian shirt Friday! I wonder if Doris can whip-up some of that nonfat soy-poi she's been so famous for.
I sure wish Amanda had been able to enjoy the carnival.
It would have really been nice for her.
Well, you know Amanda, she's not always a fan of fun.