Ugly Betty s02e09 Episode Script
Giving Up the Ghost
???? Betty??? And You Betrayed Me.
You're Fired.
???? Please Don't Hurt Me.
I'm Not Fighting You! Daniel! Alexis! Betty,Can You Please Stay With My Dad? Betty,I Need You To Do Something For Me.
Take Care Of Daniel.
Mr.
Meade? (Monitor Emitting Continuous Tone) (Woman) Excuse Me.
We Need To Get Through.
(Man) Watch Your Back.
(Woman) Excuse Us.
There's No Pulse.
Aah! Mr.
Meade, Y-You're Dead And In My Refrigerator.
A Box Of Baking Soda Wouldn't Hurt In Here.
Okay.
Okay.
You Deserve This.
You Eat Empanadas At 2:00 A.
M.
, You See A Ghost.
Counting One, Two Three.
Ghost Gone.
This Calls For Another Empanada.
I'm Not A Ghost, Betty.
I'm A Subconscious Manifestation Of Your Guilt.
My Guilt Wears Island Casual? I Didn't Pick It.
You Did.
I Guess You Were Always A Little Too Formal.
Anyway,Why Are You Here? I'm Not Guilty Of Anything.
Really? You Promised Me On My Deathbed That You Would Take Care Of Daniel.
Then You Didn't Take Your Job Back.
Deathbed--It Doesn't Get Any Bigger Than That.
Okay,Maybe I Am A Little Guilty.
But I Can't Go Back To "Mode.
" It Changes Me Too Much.
And I'm Still Daniel's Friend.
I'm Still Gonna Be There For Him.
I Hope So.
Look,I Promise,Okay? So Can You Disappear So I Can Go Back To D? By Bed,You Mean Finish These Empanadas? Damn You, Subconscious Manifestation Of My Guilt.
Te Amo! Okay,I Got The Christmas Ornaments And The Garland.
The Lights Are Still Up In My Room From When I Turned My Closet Into A Nightclub.
Sweetie,We're Not Decorating The Tree Today.
We Do It This Day Every Year.
Don't Worry,Justin.
We're Still Trimming The Tree Today.
Well,I Thought With Mr.
Meade's Funeral, You Wouldn't Want To.
No,We Have To.
It's Mom's Tradition.
Yeah.
Grandpa,Help Me Set Up The Nativity Scene.
Forget It.
Mary,What Happened To Your Hair? So You Think Maybe, Once Things Calm Down, You're Gonna Go Back To Working At "Mode"? No,I Can't.
Look,I've Been Thinking About Mom A Lot Lately, With The Funeral And The Holidays Coming.
I Just Don't Think She Would Be Happy With The Person I Was Becoming At "Mode.
" Okay,But I Think She'd Be Happier If You Quit After You Got Your Christmas Bonus! Isn't This Plot Kind Of Big For Just Dad? It's Not Just Dad.
It's For All Of Us.
You Know, The Family Plot.
Wait,What? Since When Do We Have A Family Plot? Since Forever.
Oh,Wait.
I Think You Were At Boarding School When Dad Bought It.
Did You Not Think I Was Coming Back? I Mean,No One Thought To Tell Me, "Oh,Daniel,We Took Care Of Your Final Resting Place"? I Guess We Forgot.
It Was Morbid.
(Scoffs) Look At Daniel.
He Just Looks So Upset.
Yeah.
Are We Getting Paid For Today? Christina, We're At A Funeral.
Yeah,All Right.
It's Just That The Memo Made It Sound Like It Was Mandatory.
And Where's Henry? How Did He Get Out Of This? Well,He's At The Office.
The Issue Ships Tonight, And All The Accounts Have To Close By The End Of The Day.
What,So You're Telling Me He's Getting Time And A Half? Hey,Sheila.
Great.
Sheila,Who Do You Think's Gonna Take Over Meade Publications Now That Bradford's Gone? Mean,I Am Fey Sommers' Daughter.
You Think It Could Be Me? Probably.
I'm Sure Your Two Years As A Receptionist Qualifies You To Run The Whole Company.
I Know,Right? (Police Siren Wails) Oh,Men In Uniform.
Marc's Gonna Be So Pissed He Missed This.
Must You Manhandle Me? I'm In Mourning Here.
This Is My Husband's Funeral.
Allow Me Some Dignity.
Hi,Mom.
Hi.
How Are You? As We Lay My Father To Rest, In This Apparently Secret Family Plot, I Am Reminded That He Leaves Behind Some Big Shoes To Fill.
Alexis And I Will Make Sure His Legacy Lives On.
Now If (Clears Throat) Anyone Else Would Like To Say Something (Low Voice) No.
No,No,No.
Ple-Please.
It's Nearly Over.
Hi,I'm Betty Suarez, Um,And I-I Just Want To Say Something On Behalf Of All The Employees Who Worked For Mr.
Meade.
He Didn't Spend A Lot Of Time Talking To Us, And There Was A Time Where He Thought My Name Was Betsy-- But I Do Know That He Loved His Family, And He Wasn't Just The Head Of A Company.
He Was A Father And A Husband.
(Wilhelmina) He Was Almost My Husband.
What Is She Doing Here? Who Is She Wearing? I Can't Believe She Came.
What The Hell Are You Doing Here, Looking For Free Publicity? (Scoffs) I Don't Know What You're Talking About,Daniel.
I'm An Emotional Wreck.
I Just Came To Add A Few Words.
After All,No One Loved Or Knew Bradford The Way I Did.
Oh.
Hello,Claire.
Decided Not To Wear Black,I See.
Motion To Terminate Wilhelmina Slater As Creative Director, "Mode Magazine, Effective Immediately.
All Those In Favor? Aye.
Aye.
The Motion Carries.
Rest In Peace,Bitch.
Do They Actually Think I'd Go Without A Fight? Fools.
If I've Saiit Once, I've Said It A Thousand Times.
No One Pushes Wilhelmina Slater Into An Open Grave.
Whoa,Hold On.
You Got A Spider In Your Hair.
Oh,Aah.
I Got It.
Perfect Fit.
So Let Me Get This Straight.
Wilhelmina Slater Was Pushed Into A Grave, And You Didn't Get One Picture? Mnh-Mnh.
Way To Turn A Funeral Into A Tragedy.
Are You Sure This Isn't Weird, Decorating The Tree Right After A Funeral? No.
Not At All.
Don't You Remember That Year We Decorated The Tree An Hour After Dad Passed His Kidney Stone? And Here It Is.
Can We Put That In The Back This Year? I Always Feared That This Day Could Be A Possibility.
But I Was Prepared.
Marc,Must Do Something Now Something Beautiful And Final, So They Will Never Forget We Were Here.
Is This Gonna Be Some Kind Of Murder-Suicide Thing? 'Cause Cliff And I Have "Chorus Line" Tickets Tonight.
Willie,That Is So "Mission: Impossible Iii.
" Where's The Wallet I Gave You For Your Birthday? Oh,I Love It.
It's So Soft And-- Oh,My "Chorus Line" Tickets! What Are You Doing? Couldn't Take A Chance This Could Be Traced Back To Me.
What Is That? Something The Pentagon Cooked Up.
Date One Of The Joint Chiefs, Amazing The Access You'll Have.
(Betty) See,That's What I'm Talking About--Tradition.
Papi's Kidney Stone? All Of It,Hilda-- The Tree, My Popsicle Santa, Justin's Madonna And Child Now Is That Rocco Or Lourdes? Lourdes.
I Made Rocco The Star Of The Manger.
Ready? Wait.
I've Been Putting My Gym Membership On Your Credit Card For The Last Five Years.
I Just Thought, You Know,If This Was It, I Wanna Go With A Clear Conscience.
We Are Not Dyingmarc.
"Mode" Is.
That Place Is Gonna Fall Apart Without You.
Hilda, They Don't Need Me.
They've Been Putting Out That Magazine Forever.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong? What? Oh,No.
Whoa.
It Is Done.
·Òë: У Ô£º ʱ¼äÖ᣺ÊØ»¤Ììʹ ¡ ³óÅ®±´µÙ¡· µÚ þ¼¾µÚ9¼¯ Well,Really Nice Tree This Year.
It's The Same Tree Every Year.
But You Know What Would Be Really Nice? Hilda,Don't Even Get Started On That Pink Tree Again.
You Know,You Didn't Even See It.
Everyone At The Queens Center Mall Was Talking About It.
That,And That Hot Puerto Rican Santa.
(Whispers) They Had To Drag Me Off His Lap.
Hilda.
A Pink Tree Would Be So Kitsch.
Pink Is The New Green.
(Normal Voice) Yeah, Maybe With Some White Lights! And Tinsel.
No.
No.
No,Guys.
This Is Tradition.
Okay.
Okay.
I Just Thought Maybe One Year, We Could Do Something Different.
Get Off My Balls.
Seriously, You're On My Balls.
Hi,Henry.
What's Up? (Henry) Betty,We've Lost The Entire Magazine.
The Computers Have Crashed, And The Book Has Disappeared.
Oh,My God.
The Tech Guys Said All The Hard Drives Are Dead, Might As Well Bury 'Em.
Oh,Sorry.
Bad Day For That.
They Weren't Able To Retrieve Anything? Yout,Editorial, Graphics All Gone.
The Issue Ships In 12 Hours.
We Are Never Gonna Make Our Deadline.
We Have To.
This Magazine's Ready In Trouble.
If We Can't Get Our Flagship Publication On The Stands It Could Be The Final Nail In The Coffin.
Oh,I Don't Know Why I Keep Saying These Things.
Did You Guys Get My Flowers? It's Okay,Henry.
How Could Wilhelmina Stoop So Low? I Can't Believe She Would Do Something Like This.
You Know What? I'm Not Gonna Let Her Win.
Henry,Start Making Calls.
Get Everyone In Here.
Actually, They're Already Here.
(Daniel) What? I Called Everyone I Could Think Of.
I Thought You Might Need Some Help.
You're Back? For Tonight.
Okay,According To Betty's Diagram, You Need More Lights In Quadrant Four.
I Know What I'm Doing.
Mija, You Don't.
Look What You're Doing.
You're Clumping Instead Of Draping.
And More To The Right.
You Know What, Mr.
Drapey? If You Don't Like The Way I'm Doing It, Feel Free To Do It Yourself.
Ay! Ay-Yi-Yi-Yi! Hilda! It's Okay.
It's Okay.
Nothing's Broken.
Look,The Naments Are Still In The Box.
See? Mom's Angel's All Right.
Ay, Chihuahua.
Ooh,Betty's Gonna Kill You.
Stop.
Me? I'm Gonna Kill You Both.
Whoa! Okay,I've Contacted The Freelancers, And They've Sent Us Drafts Of Winter Getaways, So How About The Cover? It's Gone.
Well,Who Shot It? Desouza.
We're Trying To Get Ahold Of His Reps, But They Can't Find Him.
Okay,We Need That Cover.
Stay On It,Betty.
All Right? (Betty) Okay.
Okay,Style And Beauty, Everyone.
Present And Accounted For.
My,My,My, Such Somber Faces.
Did Somebody Die? I'm Gonna Kick Her Ass.
Girl Fight Kinda.
Did You Come To Clean Out Your Office,Wilhelmina? No,Daniel.
I Came To Clean Out Yours.
(Laughs) People,I Am Seeking Greener Pastures, And So Can All Of You.
(Snaps) Marc.
"Slater," A Luxury Fashion Magazine For Trendsetters And Jet-Setters.
Are You Kidding Me? We're Currently Setting Up Our Offices, And There Are Still Positions Available.
So Who Would Like To Leave This Crumbling Dynasty? I Should Add That "Slater" Employees Will Receive A 15% Raise (Betty) No.
And Benefits Include Dental What Are You Doing? Oh,I'm Joking,Henry.
Just Wait.
And Cosmetic Surgery.
Oh,Go! Go,Go,Go.
(Betty) Amanda! Mm.
No,Shame On You.
Now As For The Rest Of You, Your Loyalty Is Admirable.
You Remind Me Of The Orchestra That Stayed Behind To Play As The "Titanic" Sank.
Get On The Boats,People.
Don't Be Stupid.
No.
No,Don't Get On The Boats.
We Don't Need Boats! This Magazine Is Not Sinking.
Our Father Built "Mode.
" Alexis And I Are Gonna Continue His Legacy.
Lovely Speech,Daniel.
But Now That Your Father's Gone, You Should Know He Pretty Much Felt That You're An Incompetent Buffoon.
That's It! Her Ass Is Getting Kicked! No,No,No,No,No.
Ignore Her.
And,As For You,Alexis,What Your Father Thout Of You (Whispers) Circus Freak.
Oh,That's It.
(Normal Voice) I Look Forward To Seeing Your Issue On The Stands.
And Your Fly Is Down.
Made You Look.
(Clears Throat) Come On.
Come On.
I'm Sorry,Marc.
I Have To Stay.
You Can't Be Serious.
This Wasn't Just Bradford's Magazine.
It Was Also My Mother's.
(Sighs) Oh,Okay.
Your Fly's Down,Too.
What? (Laughs) Oh.
This Is Just So Wrong.
She Can't Do This.
But She Did.
I Don't Know How Long I'm Gonna Be Here, So I Was Just Calling To Check In, See How You're Making Out With The Tree.
How Does It Look? It's Hot.
It's Very Hot.
It's Smoking.
What's Going On? Nothing.
Hilda.
Nothing.
Okay,See,No.
You're Doing That--That Lying Thing With Your Voice, Like When You Were Four Months Pregnant, And You Kept Telling Dad, "No,I'm Just Bloated And Gassy.
" Okay,But I Don't Want You Freaking Out.
I Still See Some Smoke.
The Christmas Tree Might Have Caught A Little Bit On Fire.
Fire? Yeah,But It's Okay.
Nobody Got Hurt.
We Put It Out With An Extinguisher.
No Big Deal.
Well,What About The Ornaments? Are They--Are They Okay? Popsicle Santa-- He's Made Of Wood.
Yeah,Well,At Least He Went Quickly.
But We Saved The Angel, And That Was Mom's Favorite, So Really,That Was The Most Important One.
Now Listen,I Don't Want To Point Fingers Here, But If We Had Gone With The Flame-Resistant Pink One-- Aah! All Right.
No Pink Tree, Jeez.
Call You Later.
Okay.
What Are You Doing Here? Will You Please Just Leave Me Alone? 'Cause I Don't Feel Guilty About Anything.
Look In There.
My Son Is Having A Crisis.
Isn't This Normally Where You Give One Of Your Annoying Pep Talks? Look,I Don't Know How To Fix This.
You Don't Have To Fix It.
He Just Needs To Know That You're There.
Now Go,And Maybe Your Cute Little Kitten Screen Saver Doesn't Get Hurt.
¿GAtito? (Kitten Meows) Okay.
Okay,Okay,Okay.
I'm Going.
How You Doing? Wilhelmina's Right.
My Father Said I Couldn't Do This.
You Are So Wrong, Daniel.
Your Father Believes In You.
It's Brilliant.
The Day We Bury Him, The Magazine Dies.
Look,Daniel, If You Want To Keep Your Father's Legacy Alive, Then You Need To Step Up.
It's Like You Said In Your Eulogy, You Promised To Fill His Shoes.
That Was Easy To Say.
And Hard To Do.
I Know.
My Mom Was All About Tradition-- New Sweaters Whenever We Went Back To School, Blue Spruce Tree With Colored Lights Every Christmas, And For Our Birthdays, She Always Made Tamales.
That Was The Toughest Part, Because She Died Right Before My Dad's Birthday, And We Were All Pretty Much A Mess.
And As Hard As It Was, I Stepped Up.
Now I Make Them Every Year.
And I Like To Think That In Some Small Way, That Keeps Her Alive.
Don't You Think I Want To Do That For Him? Wilhelmina Took Everyone.
There's No One Left.
No One? No.
Daniel,You Have Sheila,A Great Editor, Veronica, A Very Good Art Director-- Oh,And,Ooh,Henry, He's A Cute Accountant-- And Seven Very Able Assistants Who Can Do A Lot More For You Than Get You Your Coffee.
You're Right.
Let's Go Make Tamales.
Okay,Everyone, We Have Been Wasting Time.
Sorry,I Have Been Wasting Time.
First Of All,My Father Would Be Touched To See That You All Stayed.
Your Loyalty To "Mode" Means A Lot.
Whoo! Yeah,"Mode!" Yes! Exactly.
Yay,"Mode.
" We Have To Stay Positive.
I Know This Seems Daunting.
I Also Know That We Can Do This.
Yes,We Can Do This! Uh,Betty? We're Actually Okay.
Thanks.
Alexis, Where Do We Stand? We Recovered Most Of Our Advertising, Which Leaves 83 Pages Of Content To Fill Before We Can Ship.
Okay,All Right.
All Right,83.
Amanda,Will You Write That Number On The Board? Christina,What Do We Have Left Over From The Prada Shoot? Just A Few Bits.
Great,Let's Pull Them All Then.
Yeah,Which Is Fine, 'Cause They're At Home.
But Can Get Them.
Just Walk Along.
Great.
Uh,Betty, What's The Last Book You Read? Um,"Knuffle Bunny.
" What? I Was Babysitting.
Give Me 500 Words On That.
I Don't Think There Are Even 500 Words In The Whole Book.
I'm Sure You-- Okay,But I'm On It.
I'm On It.
Okay.
Oh,What About Henry? He's Very Artistic.
He Is The Only Person I Know Who Can Keep An Orchid Alive.
And,And--Oh,He's Really Good At Chinese Cooking.
Wait,You Liked My Cashew Chicken? Why Didn't You Eat It? 'Cause I Don't Like Asparagus.
Well,I Didn't Have To Make It With Asparagus.
I Know,But I-- Guys! Henry,Just Type It Up.
U Are Our New Food Editor.
Perfect.
We're Editors.
Okay,I Think We're Going To Need This.
What Now? Just Got Off The Phone With The Printer.
He Said The Latest He Could Push The Run Of The Issue Is 2:00 A.
M.
Did You Explain The Situation? He Didn't Care, But He Did Say I Sounded Like I Had Great Boobs.
(Sighs) I Know This Guy-- Arthur Kaplan.
Total Dog.
I Think I Can Get Him To Extend Our Deadline.
Let Me Go Change Into Something A Little More Persuasive.
Are You Sure You Want To Do That? We've Got To Get This Issue Out.
If I Can Get These Things To Save The Magazine, Maybe I Can Finally Write Them Off.
Um,That's Actually Not A Legitimate Business Expense.
Okay,I've Got A Rough Sketch Of The Front-Of-Book Graphics.
Good.
Just Put It Up On The Board.
All Right.
Six Pages.
Amanda,Take Us Down,Please.
* Step It Up * * Step It Up * * Step It Up * * Step It Up * * Step It Up * * Step It Up * Listen,Daniel,Um,It's Not That I Don't Love My Job Of Writing And Erasing Numbers From That Board, But I Just Wish There Was A Way I Could Contribute More Tonight.
Okay,Um,What Do You Want To Do? Well,Um,Fey Sommers Was My Mother.
Really? 'Cause You Haven't Mentioned That In Three Minutes.
(Nick) Hey! I Just--I Think Maybe I Inherited Some Of Her Creative Instincts.
Um,You're In Charge Of Thewhat's Hot?" Section.
(Groans) Wait,Really? Oh,My God, People Actually Read Tha Mm-Hmm.
This Is Huge.
I Just Got Promoted.
Who Wants To Go Out And Celebrate? (Laughs) I'm Just Kidding.
Hey,Sheila,Walk With Me.
Did That Sound Professional? (Scoffs) I've Got An Update On The Cover.
(Daniel) Oh,Good.
Not Good.
The Photographer's On A 16-Hour Flight To Australia, And We Can't Get The Negatives.
Oh,We're Screwed.
No.
No,We're Not Screwed.
We're In The Homestretch.
We Have A Studio Here.
Why Don't We Just Shoot Another Cover? Because We Sold The Advertisers On A Cameron Ashlock Cover.
The Cover Sells The Entire Magazine.
I Mean,She's Huge-- She's Got A Movie,An Album, A Perfume Coming Out Daniel,Why Don't We Just Find Her And Shoot The Cover Again? That Could Be A Problem.
You Didn't Hear About Her Meltdown? Apparently America's Sweetheart Was A Little Bit Under The Influence When She Did "Larry King.
" Is She In Jail Or Rehab? Rehab.
Safe Haven Hospital On 56th Street.
Okay, Why Don't We Try And Get Her Released For A Couple Of Hours? No,Daniel.
That's Not How Rehab Works.
Okay.
All Right.
Uh,Plan "B.
" I Want You Guys To Keep Working On These Pages.
I'm Gonna Take Care Of This Cover.
Daniel,What Do You Have In Mind? We're Gonna Break Her Out Of Rehab.
No.
Okay,You See Why I Don't Want To Come Back To "Mode"? We Are Breaking An Actress Out Of Rehab, And We Just Paid A Bodyguard $1,000 To Get In Here.
Actually (Clears Throat) It Was $2,000.
Oh,Well This Is It.
Go Ahead.
Hi.
Sorry To Bother You, Cameron,Uh-- Wait A Minute.
You're Not The Cute Bipolar Boy I Was Gonna Make Out With.
We Just Need To Talk To You.
Who Are You? And How Did You Even Know I Was Here? Oh,Everyone Knows You're Here.
It's All Over The News.
I Have Got Such A Good Publicist.
I Mean,So Worth The Money.
(Laughs) (Singsongy Voice) Oh,Arthur.
Hello.
Alexis Meade Is Here.
I Know You're Working Late, So I Thought I'd Bring You A Little Midnight Snack.
Whoa.
Damn.
You Are One Big Girl.
Mm.
You're Not Arthur.
Arthur Called It Quits Last Spring.
I'm Harvey Milfree.
Look At The Size Of Those Feet.
How Do You Find Shoes? I'm Alexis Meade, For "Mode" Magazine.
Oh,Yeah.
Your People Called.
We're Not Pushing Your Deadline.
Oh,Come On.
We Just Need A Couple Of Hours.
We're Shorthanded.
"Shorthanded.
" Nice.
Real Nice.
Make Fun Of A Little Person.
No,I'm Not.
And Why Is It Okay For You To Make Fun Of Me For Being Tall? Tall? You're A Monster.
In Fact, You're Scaring Me.
Now I'm Gonna Have To Sleep With The Lights On.
Good Night.
You Are So Rude.
Our Magazine Is In Trouble.
I Came All The Way Over Here To Reason With You.
No,You Didn't.
You Came All The Way Over Here To Get Arthur To Keep This Place Open By Showing Your Jugs.
But As Soon As You Saw It Was Me, You Covered 'Em Up.
That's Not True.
I Was Just Startled.
Then Show 'Em To Me.
No.
I'm Not Showing You Anything.
Come On.
Just A Little Peek,Eh? I Have A Better Idea.
You,Me And The Girls Stay Inside.
"Mode" Magazine.
Yeah,I Think I Did The Cover And Probably The Photographer.
I Usually Do.
(Laughs) We Actually Met On The Shoot.
Uh,I-I Got You Coffee.
Uh,You Threw It At Me, And Then You Filled The Cup With Vodka.
(Laughs) Classic Me.
Hee.
But That Was The Old Cameron.
I'm Clean And Sober Now, And Since I've Been Here, I've Totally Found God.
Well,That's--That's Great.
And He Really Touches Me.
You Know,I Mean,But,Like Not In A Sexual Way? Okay,So,Um,Listen.
Cameron, We're Kind Of In A Bind.
I Know This Is, Um,Unorthodox (Exhales) But There Was A Very Big Screwup At The Magazine.
Oh! I Was Just Wondering If There's Any Chance We Could Convince You To Reshoot The Cover.
Like,Tonight? Are You Crazy? I'm In A Really Intensive 6-Week Recovery Program Here.
So There's Just No Way.
Cameron, Let's--Let's Talk About This.
Isn't A Really Big Part Of This Making Amends? I Mean, You Do Owe Us.
You Were Kind Of Mn The First Time.
This Could Be Your Chance To-- To Make Up For It To Get Closer To God.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah,And I-I Guess I Did Kinda Pee In Someone's Chair Because I Thought It Was A Bathroom.
Oh,That Was My Chair.
Classic You.
Yes,Totally.
(Wilhelmina) Attention,Everyone,Attention.
I'd Like To Congratulate You On Making The Best Decision Of Your Lives.
I'm So Happy To Have You All Here With Me.
Uh,Except For You, Florence.
I Thought It Was Obvious The Way I Felt About You.
As Of Tomorrow Morning, Financing For My,Um-- Ahem.
Ah,Our Magazine Will Be Secure, And The Age Of "Slater" Will Officially Commence.
(Laughs) To World Dination.
Uh,To "Slater.
" (All) To "Slater.
" Now Enjoy The Complimentary Cheese-- Two Pieces Each.
Wilhemommy, One Question-- You Know I Usually Jump Right On Board Your Schemes, Strap Myself In And Enjoy The Ride, But Where Are We Getting The Money To Launch This Magazine Without Meade Publications Behind Us? Well,Since My Sugar Daddy Kicked It Early, I'm Going To Turn To My Own Daddy.
(Chuckles) What's That Smirk For? Just That You Have A Father.
I Always Imagined You Rising Out Of A Cauldron Or Born Of A Jackal.
(Laughs) You're So Sweet.
You Get An Extra Piece Of Cheese.
Oh! Oh,My God,Daniel, That's Great.
I Knew You Could Do It.
Hey,And Wilhelmina Was Wrong.
Dad Would Be So Proud Of You.
Well,He'd Be Proud Of You,Too.
You Know That,Right? Yeah,Yeah.
Of Course.
How's It Goin' At The Printer? You Get Them To Move The Deadline Yet? We're Still, Uh,Negotiating.
Excuse Me, This Is Not Negotiating.
(Grunts) It's Kidnapping.
Milfree,You Have To Do This For Us.
He Practically Has The Issue Finished.
You Have No Idea What We've Been Through.
Oh,Poor,Pretty Rich Girl's Got Problems.
Boohoo! As A Matter Of Fact, I Do.
So What Do You Think? Much Better Than I Expected.
Excuse Me.
Wee Bit Of A Problem With Our Cover Girl.
Cameron Said She's Not Gonna Come Out Of The Dressing Room Until She Gets Some Booze Or Drugs.
What? What About God? Oh,Yeah.
She Mentioned Him.
She Said (Imitates Cameron) "God, I Need Some Booze Or Drugs.
" I Knew It Was A Bad Idea To Get Her Out.
Look,Maybe We Should Call Her Mother Or Her Makeup Artist.
Who Do You Think She's Closer To? Makeup Artist.
That Whole Thing With Her Mother Nuh.
Daniel.
Daniel, What Are You Doing? I'm Gonna Fix This.
How? I'm Gonna Give Her A Ink.
It's The Cover,Betty.
It's What My Father Would Do.
It's True.
You're The One Who Said To Follow In His Footsteps.
But I-- Tell The Photographer She'll Be Out In Ten Minutes.
Where Are Your Pages? (Mumbles) I Don't Know.
So You Have Nothing.
They Can't Close The Front Half Of The Book Unless We Have The "What's Hot?" Section.
(Normal Voice) I'll Get To It.
Are You Kidding Me? I'm Waiting For Inspiration To Strike.
That's What My Mother, Fey Sommers,Always Did.
Her Motto Was, "Inspiration, Not Perspiration.
" I Hate My Life.
I'm Gonna Go To My Office And Self-Medicate.
I'll Be Back In An Hour Or Thursday.
Hey,I'll Come Through.
My Mom Wait,Not Perspiration, Inspiration.
Someone Here Order 12 Pizzas? Oh,You Are Just What I've Been Waiting For.
Finally.
A Hot Chick With A Delivery Boy Fantasy.
Oh,No,No,No.
I Need A Favor That's Not Sexual.
Take Off Your Pants.
So You Just Went And Well,They Billed Me For A 14-Hour Surgery, So I Certainly Hope They Did More Than That.
And Your Family Was Like, "Hey,It's A Girl.
" Not Exactly.
My Mother Was Pretty Good, And,Actually, My Brother Was Okay, But My Father To Be Honest, I Don't Know.
I-I Thought He Got There, But Now What? Someone Said Something To Me Today That Made Me Question Everything.
You Know, When I Was 10, My Father Sold Me To The Circus.
Oh,My God.
Harvey,That's Horrible.
Wait A Minute Okay,Not Exactly, But You Wouldn't Believe How Much Big Harvey's Scored With That Line.
You Are One Twisted Mister.
Hey,It Takes One To Know One,Huh? But I Know Where You're Coming From.
Believe It Or Not, I Wasn't The Kid My Father Imagined Having, Either.
I Wasted So Much Time Trying To Win Him Over.
And Then Finally, I Just Said, "To Hell With It.
This Is Who I Am.
" Yeah,Well, My Father's Dead.
There's No One To Say "To Hell With It" To.
Exactly, You're Free.
Now It Only Matters What You Think.
If You Wanna Go, You Can Go.
Looks Like We're Not Gonna Be Making Our Deadline.
You Know What? What's Another Hour? I Might Be Able To Move Around My Other Magazines.
Sit Down.
Pass Me A Grape.
You Got It.
And Now, As A Little Thank-You, You Might Wanna Show Me Your-- No,Harvey, I Do Not.
Hey.
I Finished My Recipe.
I Left Out The Cumin.
Something Martha Taught Me-- Never Give It All Away.
Now Where's Daniel? I Have To Have Him Sign Off On This.
He's In Cameron's Dressing Room Enabling.
He's Sleeping With Her? Man,He's Good.
Uh,Uh,I Mean In Aad,Bad Way.
No,He's Giving Her A Drink.
This Shoot Sucks! Don't Touch Me,Pigs! Maybe That Drink Wasn't Such A Good Idea.
I'm America's Frean' Sweetheart! Don't Hurt Her.
Aah! And How Come No One's Taking My Picture? Amanda Is Never Going To Come Through, So I Say We Just Kill This "What's Hot?" Section, And We Pad "The Quick And Easy Styling Tips.
" But That's Just It.
They're Quick And Easy.
There's Not Much To Say.
Not So Fast.
Inspiration Has Struck.
Whew.
Ladies And Gentlemen, I Present To You January's Issue Of * "What Hot?" * Ow! (Beatboxes) Click.
It's (Makes Sizzling Sound) Hot (Imitates Echo) Hot,Hot,Hot, Hot,Hot.
I Know.
Amanda, I Knew Fey Sommers.
I Worked With Fey Sommers.
I Once Made Out With Fey Sommers.
Amanda You Are No Fey Sommers.
Kid,I Think It's Time You Went Back To The Phones.
"Easy Tips" It Is.
All Right.
I Know That You're Down, And That It's Probably Not The Best Time For Me To Lecture, But In What World Did Giving An Alcoholic A Bottle Of Vodka Seem Like The Right Thing To Do? My Father's World, But Not Mine.
I Went To Give Her The Drink, But I Couldn't Do It.
She Didn't Take It Very Well,Obviously.
Wait,You Mean,You Did-- You Didn't--You Didn't-- No.
Daniel,That's Great.
Is It? I Lost Our Cover.
Without Our Cover, There's No Issue.
I Mean, Let's Face It,Betty.
I Am No Bradford Meade.
Ugh,No,You're Not.
But Maybe That's A Good Thing.
I Mean,You've Got A Whole Blank Slate.
You Can Stop Thinking About What Bradford Meade Would Do.
What Would Daniel Meade Do? What? What? You're Staring At Me.
No,I'm Just Thinking About Something You Said.
Really? What Did I Say? Because Seriously, I'm (Yawns) So Tired Right Now, I Don't Know What Came Out Of My Mouth.
Make Sure Nobody Leaves.
I Think I May Have Found Our Cover.
Wait.
Come On.
Tell Me What I Said.
So,Ladies And Gentlemen, I Present To You The January Cover.
Oh,It's A-- It's A Foldout,Too.
Thank You.
Thank You.
(Sheila) Nice Work,Daniel.
We Sold The Advertisers On A Big,Bold Cover.
I Think This Is It.
Issue Number 4-1-2 Is Ready To Ship! Oh,No,Uh,0-0-1.
I Think After 40 Years, It's About Time For A New Legacy.
Whatever.
Let's Just Get This Bitch Out! Oh! Good Job.
You Did It.
Thank You.
Okay,You Made Me Cry.
Well,It Was Your Whole Blank Slate Thing That Gave Me The Idea.
Thank You Very Much.
You Know,Betty, You're Really Good At This.
You Sure You Don't Want To Come Back? I Can't.
My Mother Would Never Approve Of The Person I Was Becoming Here.
I Was Changing.
Hey,Hey.
You're Growing Up.
It Doesn't Matter What You Do For A Living.
You're Always Gonna Have Tough Choices To Make,Betty.
I Really Think You Can Stay Here And Still Be The Person You Want To Be-- Someone Your Mother Would Be So Proud Of.
You're Not Gonna Start Crying Again,Are You? (Voice Breaks) No.
Yes.
Thanks For Coming So Quickly,Daddy.
I Really Needed You.
You Haven't Said That To Me Since You Were A Little Girl.
I'm Sorry About Bradford.
I'm Devastated.
Consequently, I'm Moving On With My Life, And Starting A New Magazine.
So Why Am I Here? I Need Seed Money-- Just A 6-Month Swingoan.
I'll Pay You Back In Full, Give You Gross Participation That's Real Money From The First Issue On.
Where Is She? Marc? She's Right There Making Omelets.
Scallions,Senator? I'm Talking About You.
Whatever Happened To Wanda? Oh,She's Still Here, Just Prettier.
I'm Not So Sure.
Uh,What Are You Talking About? You Always Pushed Me To Be Successful, And I Want To Start A Magazine, So What's The Problem? You Buried Your Fianc? 12 Hours Ago.
You Tell Me.
This Is Rich-- You Giving Me A Lecture On Compassion.
You Know What? Let's Just Forget That This Is A Daughter Talking To Her Father, 'Cause We Both Forgot That Years Ago.
Bottom Line Is You Can Make A Fortune Off This Magazine.
I'm Sorry.
I Am Just Not Interested In Investing In A World That Turned You Into This.
Daddy,You-- You Can't Walk Out.
Daddy.
What Are You Doing In Here? Because Everybody Else Has Gone Home.
(Sniffles) Just Leave Me Alone.
I'm Drowning My Sorrows In Gorgeous Italian Leather.
Or Maybe They're Hideous.
I Don't Know.
I Thought I Got The Fashion Gene From My Mom, But I Was Totally Wrong.
She Was All Instinct With This Stuff.
It Just Came So Effortlessly.
Amanda I Worked With Your Mother.
Nothing Came Effortlessly.
But What About Her Motto? "Inspiration, Not Perspiration.
" Oh,Bullocks.
That Woman Worked Her Arse Off.
Oh,And Sweat Ke A Fishmonger.
Mm,I Should Know.
It Was Me That Had To Clean Off The Stains.
What Am I Gonna Do Now? Work Hard? Well,Goodness Knows We Can't Have That,Can We? Listen Just Because You Don't Have Fey Sommers' Talent, Does Not Mean That You're Not Still Her Daughter.
I Mean,Look At Me.
My Mother Was All Thumbs.
Fortunately,My Father Liked To Design Gowns And Wear Them.
But That Doesn't Help Me.
I Don't Know What My Father's Talents Are.
I Don't Even Know Who He Is.
Well,That's All The More Reason To Keep Looking.
Hmm? I Like It.
It's Different.
More Importantly, I'd Never Have Thought Of It.
Well, You're No Daniel Meade.
So,Betty,Now That You're Guilt-Free, You Don't Need Me Anymore.
Where Are You Gonna Send Me? Well,You Look Dressed For The Beach, Warm Sands.
You've Worked Really Hard For A Long Time,Mr.
Meade.
You Deserve A Rest.
The Beach It Is.
Am I Ever Gonna See You Again? I Guess That's Up To You.
Betty,What Is That? (Gasps) My Pink Tree.
Yeah.
I Heard Somewhere That Pink Was The New Green.
And Check It Out-- White Lights For Hilda, And Tinsel For You.
Hmm.
It's Silver, Not Gold, But You Tried.
(Whispers) Ow.
Mija, What Are You Doing? We Can't Afford Two Trees.
It's Okay.
It's My Treat.
I Took My Job Back.
Oh.
What About The Whole Tradition Thing? Well,Mom Made A Great Tree, But It's Okay To Shake It Up.
We Can Do It Our Way.
But We'll Always Have This To Honor Her.
(Man) * Feliz Navidad, Prospero Ano * May I? * Y Felicidad * (Betty) Here,Let Me Help You.
Dad,Careful.
I Got It.
I Got It.
All Right,Then.
Hey.
Good Job,Dad.
* I Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas * Okay,Here Go The Lights.
Ta-Da! Yay.
(All) Yay.
* I Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas * Man,That Is One Ugly Tree.
Well,Maybe Next Year We Can Try Something Different.
Mm.
* Of My Heart *
You're Fired.
???? Please Don't Hurt Me.
I'm Not Fighting You! Daniel! Alexis! Betty,Can You Please Stay With My Dad? Betty,I Need You To Do Something For Me.
Take Care Of Daniel.
Mr.
Meade? (Monitor Emitting Continuous Tone) (Woman) Excuse Me.
We Need To Get Through.
(Man) Watch Your Back.
(Woman) Excuse Us.
There's No Pulse.
Aah! Mr.
Meade, Y-You're Dead And In My Refrigerator.
A Box Of Baking Soda Wouldn't Hurt In Here.
Okay.
Okay.
You Deserve This.
You Eat Empanadas At 2:00 A.
M.
, You See A Ghost.
Counting One, Two Three.
Ghost Gone.
This Calls For Another Empanada.
I'm Not A Ghost, Betty.
I'm A Subconscious Manifestation Of Your Guilt.
My Guilt Wears Island Casual? I Didn't Pick It.
You Did.
I Guess You Were Always A Little Too Formal.
Anyway,Why Are You Here? I'm Not Guilty Of Anything.
Really? You Promised Me On My Deathbed That You Would Take Care Of Daniel.
Then You Didn't Take Your Job Back.
Deathbed--It Doesn't Get Any Bigger Than That.
Okay,Maybe I Am A Little Guilty.
But I Can't Go Back To "Mode.
" It Changes Me Too Much.
And I'm Still Daniel's Friend.
I'm Still Gonna Be There For Him.
I Hope So.
Look,I Promise,Okay? So Can You Disappear So I Can Go Back To D? By Bed,You Mean Finish These Empanadas? Damn You, Subconscious Manifestation Of My Guilt.
Te Amo! Okay,I Got The Christmas Ornaments And The Garland.
The Lights Are Still Up In My Room From When I Turned My Closet Into A Nightclub.
Sweetie,We're Not Decorating The Tree Today.
We Do It This Day Every Year.
Don't Worry,Justin.
We're Still Trimming The Tree Today.
Well,I Thought With Mr.
Meade's Funeral, You Wouldn't Want To.
No,We Have To.
It's Mom's Tradition.
Yeah.
Grandpa,Help Me Set Up The Nativity Scene.
Forget It.
Mary,What Happened To Your Hair? So You Think Maybe, Once Things Calm Down, You're Gonna Go Back To Working At "Mode"? No,I Can't.
Look,I've Been Thinking About Mom A Lot Lately, With The Funeral And The Holidays Coming.
I Just Don't Think She Would Be Happy With The Person I Was Becoming At "Mode.
" Okay,But I Think She'd Be Happier If You Quit After You Got Your Christmas Bonus! Isn't This Plot Kind Of Big For Just Dad? It's Not Just Dad.
It's For All Of Us.
You Know, The Family Plot.
Wait,What? Since When Do We Have A Family Plot? Since Forever.
Oh,Wait.
I Think You Were At Boarding School When Dad Bought It.
Did You Not Think I Was Coming Back? I Mean,No One Thought To Tell Me, "Oh,Daniel,We Took Care Of Your Final Resting Place"? I Guess We Forgot.
It Was Morbid.
(Scoffs) Look At Daniel.
He Just Looks So Upset.
Yeah.
Are We Getting Paid For Today? Christina, We're At A Funeral.
Yeah,All Right.
It's Just That The Memo Made It Sound Like It Was Mandatory.
And Where's Henry? How Did He Get Out Of This? Well,He's At The Office.
The Issue Ships Tonight, And All The Accounts Have To Close By The End Of The Day.
What,So You're Telling Me He's Getting Time And A Half? Hey,Sheila.
Great.
Sheila,Who Do You Think's Gonna Take Over Meade Publications Now That Bradford's Gone? Mean,I Am Fey Sommers' Daughter.
You Think It Could Be Me? Probably.
I'm Sure Your Two Years As A Receptionist Qualifies You To Run The Whole Company.
I Know,Right? (Police Siren Wails) Oh,Men In Uniform.
Marc's Gonna Be So Pissed He Missed This.
Must You Manhandle Me? I'm In Mourning Here.
This Is My Husband's Funeral.
Allow Me Some Dignity.
Hi,Mom.
Hi.
How Are You? As We Lay My Father To Rest, In This Apparently Secret Family Plot, I Am Reminded That He Leaves Behind Some Big Shoes To Fill.
Alexis And I Will Make Sure His Legacy Lives On.
Now If (Clears Throat) Anyone Else Would Like To Say Something (Low Voice) No.
No,No,No.
Ple-Please.
It's Nearly Over.
Hi,I'm Betty Suarez, Um,And I-I Just Want To Say Something On Behalf Of All The Employees Who Worked For Mr.
Meade.
He Didn't Spend A Lot Of Time Talking To Us, And There Was A Time Where He Thought My Name Was Betsy-- But I Do Know That He Loved His Family, And He Wasn't Just The Head Of A Company.
He Was A Father And A Husband.
(Wilhelmina) He Was Almost My Husband.
What Is She Doing Here? Who Is She Wearing? I Can't Believe She Came.
What The Hell Are You Doing Here, Looking For Free Publicity? (Scoffs) I Don't Know What You're Talking About,Daniel.
I'm An Emotional Wreck.
I Just Came To Add A Few Words.
After All,No One Loved Or Knew Bradford The Way I Did.
Oh.
Hello,Claire.
Decided Not To Wear Black,I See.
Motion To Terminate Wilhelmina Slater As Creative Director, "Mode Magazine, Effective Immediately.
All Those In Favor? Aye.
Aye.
The Motion Carries.
Rest In Peace,Bitch.
Do They Actually Think I'd Go Without A Fight? Fools.
If I've Saiit Once, I've Said It A Thousand Times.
No One Pushes Wilhelmina Slater Into An Open Grave.
Whoa,Hold On.
You Got A Spider In Your Hair.
Oh,Aah.
I Got It.
Perfect Fit.
So Let Me Get This Straight.
Wilhelmina Slater Was Pushed Into A Grave, And You Didn't Get One Picture? Mnh-Mnh.
Way To Turn A Funeral Into A Tragedy.
Are You Sure This Isn't Weird, Decorating The Tree Right After A Funeral? No.
Not At All.
Don't You Remember That Year We Decorated The Tree An Hour After Dad Passed His Kidney Stone? And Here It Is.
Can We Put That In The Back This Year? I Always Feared That This Day Could Be A Possibility.
But I Was Prepared.
Marc,Must Do Something Now Something Beautiful And Final, So They Will Never Forget We Were Here.
Is This Gonna Be Some Kind Of Murder-Suicide Thing? 'Cause Cliff And I Have "Chorus Line" Tickets Tonight.
Willie,That Is So "Mission: Impossible Iii.
" Where's The Wallet I Gave You For Your Birthday? Oh,I Love It.
It's So Soft And-- Oh,My "Chorus Line" Tickets! What Are You Doing? Couldn't Take A Chance This Could Be Traced Back To Me.
What Is That? Something The Pentagon Cooked Up.
Date One Of The Joint Chiefs, Amazing The Access You'll Have.
(Betty) See,That's What I'm Talking About--Tradition.
Papi's Kidney Stone? All Of It,Hilda-- The Tree, My Popsicle Santa, Justin's Madonna And Child Now Is That Rocco Or Lourdes? Lourdes.
I Made Rocco The Star Of The Manger.
Ready? Wait.
I've Been Putting My Gym Membership On Your Credit Card For The Last Five Years.
I Just Thought, You Know,If This Was It, I Wanna Go With A Clear Conscience.
We Are Not Dyingmarc.
"Mode" Is.
That Place Is Gonna Fall Apart Without You.
Hilda, They Don't Need Me.
They've Been Putting Out That Magazine Forever.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong? What? Oh,No.
Whoa.
It Is Done.
·Òë: У Ô£º ʱ¼äÖ᣺ÊØ»¤Ììʹ ¡ ³óÅ®±´µÙ¡· µÚ þ¼¾µÚ9¼¯ Well,Really Nice Tree This Year.
It's The Same Tree Every Year.
But You Know What Would Be Really Nice? Hilda,Don't Even Get Started On That Pink Tree Again.
You Know,You Didn't Even See It.
Everyone At The Queens Center Mall Was Talking About It.
That,And That Hot Puerto Rican Santa.
(Whispers) They Had To Drag Me Off His Lap.
Hilda.
A Pink Tree Would Be So Kitsch.
Pink Is The New Green.
(Normal Voice) Yeah, Maybe With Some White Lights! And Tinsel.
No.
No.
No,Guys.
This Is Tradition.
Okay.
Okay.
I Just Thought Maybe One Year, We Could Do Something Different.
Get Off My Balls.
Seriously, You're On My Balls.
Hi,Henry.
What's Up? (Henry) Betty,We've Lost The Entire Magazine.
The Computers Have Crashed, And The Book Has Disappeared.
Oh,My God.
The Tech Guys Said All The Hard Drives Are Dead, Might As Well Bury 'Em.
Oh,Sorry.
Bad Day For That.
They Weren't Able To Retrieve Anything? Yout,Editorial, Graphics All Gone.
The Issue Ships In 12 Hours.
We Are Never Gonna Make Our Deadline.
We Have To.
This Magazine's Ready In Trouble.
If We Can't Get Our Flagship Publication On The Stands It Could Be The Final Nail In The Coffin.
Oh,I Don't Know Why I Keep Saying These Things.
Did You Guys Get My Flowers? It's Okay,Henry.
How Could Wilhelmina Stoop So Low? I Can't Believe She Would Do Something Like This.
You Know What? I'm Not Gonna Let Her Win.
Henry,Start Making Calls.
Get Everyone In Here.
Actually, They're Already Here.
(Daniel) What? I Called Everyone I Could Think Of.
I Thought You Might Need Some Help.
You're Back? For Tonight.
Okay,According To Betty's Diagram, You Need More Lights In Quadrant Four.
I Know What I'm Doing.
Mija, You Don't.
Look What You're Doing.
You're Clumping Instead Of Draping.
And More To The Right.
You Know What, Mr.
Drapey? If You Don't Like The Way I'm Doing It, Feel Free To Do It Yourself.
Ay! Ay-Yi-Yi-Yi! Hilda! It's Okay.
It's Okay.
Nothing's Broken.
Look,The Naments Are Still In The Box.
See? Mom's Angel's All Right.
Ay, Chihuahua.
Ooh,Betty's Gonna Kill You.
Stop.
Me? I'm Gonna Kill You Both.
Whoa! Okay,I've Contacted The Freelancers, And They've Sent Us Drafts Of Winter Getaways, So How About The Cover? It's Gone.
Well,Who Shot It? Desouza.
We're Trying To Get Ahold Of His Reps, But They Can't Find Him.
Okay,We Need That Cover.
Stay On It,Betty.
All Right? (Betty) Okay.
Okay,Style And Beauty, Everyone.
Present And Accounted For.
My,My,My, Such Somber Faces.
Did Somebody Die? I'm Gonna Kick Her Ass.
Girl Fight Kinda.
Did You Come To Clean Out Your Office,Wilhelmina? No,Daniel.
I Came To Clean Out Yours.
(Laughs) People,I Am Seeking Greener Pastures, And So Can All Of You.
(Snaps) Marc.
"Slater," A Luxury Fashion Magazine For Trendsetters And Jet-Setters.
Are You Kidding Me? We're Currently Setting Up Our Offices, And There Are Still Positions Available.
So Who Would Like To Leave This Crumbling Dynasty? I Should Add That "Slater" Employees Will Receive A 15% Raise (Betty) No.
And Benefits Include Dental What Are You Doing? Oh,I'm Joking,Henry.
Just Wait.
And Cosmetic Surgery.
Oh,Go! Go,Go,Go.
(Betty) Amanda! Mm.
No,Shame On You.
Now As For The Rest Of You, Your Loyalty Is Admirable.
You Remind Me Of The Orchestra That Stayed Behind To Play As The "Titanic" Sank.
Get On The Boats,People.
Don't Be Stupid.
No.
No,Don't Get On The Boats.
We Don't Need Boats! This Magazine Is Not Sinking.
Our Father Built "Mode.
" Alexis And I Are Gonna Continue His Legacy.
Lovely Speech,Daniel.
But Now That Your Father's Gone, You Should Know He Pretty Much Felt That You're An Incompetent Buffoon.
That's It! Her Ass Is Getting Kicked! No,No,No,No,No.
Ignore Her.
And,As For You,Alexis,What Your Father Thout Of You (Whispers) Circus Freak.
Oh,That's It.
(Normal Voice) I Look Forward To Seeing Your Issue On The Stands.
And Your Fly Is Down.
Made You Look.
(Clears Throat) Come On.
Come On.
I'm Sorry,Marc.
I Have To Stay.
You Can't Be Serious.
This Wasn't Just Bradford's Magazine.
It Was Also My Mother's.
(Sighs) Oh,Okay.
Your Fly's Down,Too.
What? (Laughs) Oh.
This Is Just So Wrong.
She Can't Do This.
But She Did.
I Don't Know How Long I'm Gonna Be Here, So I Was Just Calling To Check In, See How You're Making Out With The Tree.
How Does It Look? It's Hot.
It's Very Hot.
It's Smoking.
What's Going On? Nothing.
Hilda.
Nothing.
Okay,See,No.
You're Doing That--That Lying Thing With Your Voice, Like When You Were Four Months Pregnant, And You Kept Telling Dad, "No,I'm Just Bloated And Gassy.
" Okay,But I Don't Want You Freaking Out.
I Still See Some Smoke.
The Christmas Tree Might Have Caught A Little Bit On Fire.
Fire? Yeah,But It's Okay.
Nobody Got Hurt.
We Put It Out With An Extinguisher.
No Big Deal.
Well,What About The Ornaments? Are They--Are They Okay? Popsicle Santa-- He's Made Of Wood.
Yeah,Well,At Least He Went Quickly.
But We Saved The Angel, And That Was Mom's Favorite, So Really,That Was The Most Important One.
Now Listen,I Don't Want To Point Fingers Here, But If We Had Gone With The Flame-Resistant Pink One-- Aah! All Right.
No Pink Tree, Jeez.
Call You Later.
Okay.
What Are You Doing Here? Will You Please Just Leave Me Alone? 'Cause I Don't Feel Guilty About Anything.
Look In There.
My Son Is Having A Crisis.
Isn't This Normally Where You Give One Of Your Annoying Pep Talks? Look,I Don't Know How To Fix This.
You Don't Have To Fix It.
He Just Needs To Know That You're There.
Now Go,And Maybe Your Cute Little Kitten Screen Saver Doesn't Get Hurt.
¿GAtito? (Kitten Meows) Okay.
Okay,Okay,Okay.
I'm Going.
How You Doing? Wilhelmina's Right.
My Father Said I Couldn't Do This.
You Are So Wrong, Daniel.
Your Father Believes In You.
It's Brilliant.
The Day We Bury Him, The Magazine Dies.
Look,Daniel, If You Want To Keep Your Father's Legacy Alive, Then You Need To Step Up.
It's Like You Said In Your Eulogy, You Promised To Fill His Shoes.
That Was Easy To Say.
And Hard To Do.
I Know.
My Mom Was All About Tradition-- New Sweaters Whenever We Went Back To School, Blue Spruce Tree With Colored Lights Every Christmas, And For Our Birthdays, She Always Made Tamales.
That Was The Toughest Part, Because She Died Right Before My Dad's Birthday, And We Were All Pretty Much A Mess.
And As Hard As It Was, I Stepped Up.
Now I Make Them Every Year.
And I Like To Think That In Some Small Way, That Keeps Her Alive.
Don't You Think I Want To Do That For Him? Wilhelmina Took Everyone.
There's No One Left.
No One? No.
Daniel,You Have Sheila,A Great Editor, Veronica, A Very Good Art Director-- Oh,And,Ooh,Henry, He's A Cute Accountant-- And Seven Very Able Assistants Who Can Do A Lot More For You Than Get You Your Coffee.
You're Right.
Let's Go Make Tamales.
Okay,Everyone, We Have Been Wasting Time.
Sorry,I Have Been Wasting Time.
First Of All,My Father Would Be Touched To See That You All Stayed.
Your Loyalty To "Mode" Means A Lot.
Whoo! Yeah,"Mode!" Yes! Exactly.
Yay,"Mode.
" We Have To Stay Positive.
I Know This Seems Daunting.
I Also Know That We Can Do This.
Yes,We Can Do This! Uh,Betty? We're Actually Okay.
Thanks.
Alexis, Where Do We Stand? We Recovered Most Of Our Advertising, Which Leaves 83 Pages Of Content To Fill Before We Can Ship.
Okay,All Right.
All Right,83.
Amanda,Will You Write That Number On The Board? Christina,What Do We Have Left Over From The Prada Shoot? Just A Few Bits.
Great,Let's Pull Them All Then.
Yeah,Which Is Fine, 'Cause They're At Home.
But Can Get Them.
Just Walk Along.
Great.
Uh,Betty, What's The Last Book You Read? Um,"Knuffle Bunny.
" What? I Was Babysitting.
Give Me 500 Words On That.
I Don't Think There Are Even 500 Words In The Whole Book.
I'm Sure You-- Okay,But I'm On It.
I'm On It.
Okay.
Oh,What About Henry? He's Very Artistic.
He Is The Only Person I Know Who Can Keep An Orchid Alive.
And,And--Oh,He's Really Good At Chinese Cooking.
Wait,You Liked My Cashew Chicken? Why Didn't You Eat It? 'Cause I Don't Like Asparagus.
Well,I Didn't Have To Make It With Asparagus.
I Know,But I-- Guys! Henry,Just Type It Up.
U Are Our New Food Editor.
Perfect.
We're Editors.
Okay,I Think We're Going To Need This.
What Now? Just Got Off The Phone With The Printer.
He Said The Latest He Could Push The Run Of The Issue Is 2:00 A.
M.
Did You Explain The Situation? He Didn't Care, But He Did Say I Sounded Like I Had Great Boobs.
(Sighs) I Know This Guy-- Arthur Kaplan.
Total Dog.
I Think I Can Get Him To Extend Our Deadline.
Let Me Go Change Into Something A Little More Persuasive.
Are You Sure You Want To Do That? We've Got To Get This Issue Out.
If I Can Get These Things To Save The Magazine, Maybe I Can Finally Write Them Off.
Um,That's Actually Not A Legitimate Business Expense.
Okay,I've Got A Rough Sketch Of The Front-Of-Book Graphics.
Good.
Just Put It Up On The Board.
All Right.
Six Pages.
Amanda,Take Us Down,Please.
* Step It Up * * Step It Up * * Step It Up * * Step It Up * * Step It Up * * Step It Up * Listen,Daniel,Um,It's Not That I Don't Love My Job Of Writing And Erasing Numbers From That Board, But I Just Wish There Was A Way I Could Contribute More Tonight.
Okay,Um,What Do You Want To Do? Well,Um,Fey Sommers Was My Mother.
Really? 'Cause You Haven't Mentioned That In Three Minutes.
(Nick) Hey! I Just--I Think Maybe I Inherited Some Of Her Creative Instincts.
Um,You're In Charge Of Thewhat's Hot?" Section.
(Groans) Wait,Really? Oh,My God, People Actually Read Tha Mm-Hmm.
This Is Huge.
I Just Got Promoted.
Who Wants To Go Out And Celebrate? (Laughs) I'm Just Kidding.
Hey,Sheila,Walk With Me.
Did That Sound Professional? (Scoffs) I've Got An Update On The Cover.
(Daniel) Oh,Good.
Not Good.
The Photographer's On A 16-Hour Flight To Australia, And We Can't Get The Negatives.
Oh,We're Screwed.
No.
No,We're Not Screwed.
We're In The Homestretch.
We Have A Studio Here.
Why Don't We Just Shoot Another Cover? Because We Sold The Advertisers On A Cameron Ashlock Cover.
The Cover Sells The Entire Magazine.
I Mean,She's Huge-- She's Got A Movie,An Album, A Perfume Coming Out Daniel,Why Don't We Just Find Her And Shoot The Cover Again? That Could Be A Problem.
You Didn't Hear About Her Meltdown? Apparently America's Sweetheart Was A Little Bit Under The Influence When She Did "Larry King.
" Is She In Jail Or Rehab? Rehab.
Safe Haven Hospital On 56th Street.
Okay, Why Don't We Try And Get Her Released For A Couple Of Hours? No,Daniel.
That's Not How Rehab Works.
Okay.
All Right.
Uh,Plan "B.
" I Want You Guys To Keep Working On These Pages.
I'm Gonna Take Care Of This Cover.
Daniel,What Do You Have In Mind? We're Gonna Break Her Out Of Rehab.
No.
Okay,You See Why I Don't Want To Come Back To "Mode"? We Are Breaking An Actress Out Of Rehab, And We Just Paid A Bodyguard $1,000 To Get In Here.
Actually (Clears Throat) It Was $2,000.
Oh,Well This Is It.
Go Ahead.
Hi.
Sorry To Bother You, Cameron,Uh-- Wait A Minute.
You're Not The Cute Bipolar Boy I Was Gonna Make Out With.
We Just Need To Talk To You.
Who Are You? And How Did You Even Know I Was Here? Oh,Everyone Knows You're Here.
It's All Over The News.
I Have Got Such A Good Publicist.
I Mean,So Worth The Money.
(Laughs) (Singsongy Voice) Oh,Arthur.
Hello.
Alexis Meade Is Here.
I Know You're Working Late, So I Thought I'd Bring You A Little Midnight Snack.
Whoa.
Damn.
You Are One Big Girl.
Mm.
You're Not Arthur.
Arthur Called It Quits Last Spring.
I'm Harvey Milfree.
Look At The Size Of Those Feet.
How Do You Find Shoes? I'm Alexis Meade, For "Mode" Magazine.
Oh,Yeah.
Your People Called.
We're Not Pushing Your Deadline.
Oh,Come On.
We Just Need A Couple Of Hours.
We're Shorthanded.
"Shorthanded.
" Nice.
Real Nice.
Make Fun Of A Little Person.
No,I'm Not.
And Why Is It Okay For You To Make Fun Of Me For Being Tall? Tall? You're A Monster.
In Fact, You're Scaring Me.
Now I'm Gonna Have To Sleep With The Lights On.
Good Night.
You Are So Rude.
Our Magazine Is In Trouble.
I Came All The Way Over Here To Reason With You.
No,You Didn't.
You Came All The Way Over Here To Get Arthur To Keep This Place Open By Showing Your Jugs.
But As Soon As You Saw It Was Me, You Covered 'Em Up.
That's Not True.
I Was Just Startled.
Then Show 'Em To Me.
No.
I'm Not Showing You Anything.
Come On.
Just A Little Peek,Eh? I Have A Better Idea.
You,Me And The Girls Stay Inside.
"Mode" Magazine.
Yeah,I Think I Did The Cover And Probably The Photographer.
I Usually Do.
(Laughs) We Actually Met On The Shoot.
Uh,I-I Got You Coffee.
Uh,You Threw It At Me, And Then You Filled The Cup With Vodka.
(Laughs) Classic Me.
Hee.
But That Was The Old Cameron.
I'm Clean And Sober Now, And Since I've Been Here, I've Totally Found God.
Well,That's--That's Great.
And He Really Touches Me.
You Know,I Mean,But,Like Not In A Sexual Way? Okay,So,Um,Listen.
Cameron, We're Kind Of In A Bind.
I Know This Is, Um,Unorthodox (Exhales) But There Was A Very Big Screwup At The Magazine.
Oh! I Was Just Wondering If There's Any Chance We Could Convince You To Reshoot The Cover.
Like,Tonight? Are You Crazy? I'm In A Really Intensive 6-Week Recovery Program Here.
So There's Just No Way.
Cameron, Let's--Let's Talk About This.
Isn't A Really Big Part Of This Making Amends? I Mean, You Do Owe Us.
You Were Kind Of Mn The First Time.
This Could Be Your Chance To-- To Make Up For It To Get Closer To God.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah,And I-I Guess I Did Kinda Pee In Someone's Chair Because I Thought It Was A Bathroom.
Oh,That Was My Chair.
Classic You.
Yes,Totally.
(Wilhelmina) Attention,Everyone,Attention.
I'd Like To Congratulate You On Making The Best Decision Of Your Lives.
I'm So Happy To Have You All Here With Me.
Uh,Except For You, Florence.
I Thought It Was Obvious The Way I Felt About You.
As Of Tomorrow Morning, Financing For My,Um-- Ahem.
Ah,Our Magazine Will Be Secure, And The Age Of "Slater" Will Officially Commence.
(Laughs) To World Dination.
Uh,To "Slater.
" (All) To "Slater.
" Now Enjoy The Complimentary Cheese-- Two Pieces Each.
Wilhemommy, One Question-- You Know I Usually Jump Right On Board Your Schemes, Strap Myself In And Enjoy The Ride, But Where Are We Getting The Money To Launch This Magazine Without Meade Publications Behind Us? Well,Since My Sugar Daddy Kicked It Early, I'm Going To Turn To My Own Daddy.
(Chuckles) What's That Smirk For? Just That You Have A Father.
I Always Imagined You Rising Out Of A Cauldron Or Born Of A Jackal.
(Laughs) You're So Sweet.
You Get An Extra Piece Of Cheese.
Oh! Oh,My God,Daniel, That's Great.
I Knew You Could Do It.
Hey,And Wilhelmina Was Wrong.
Dad Would Be So Proud Of You.
Well,He'd Be Proud Of You,Too.
You Know That,Right? Yeah,Yeah.
Of Course.
How's It Goin' At The Printer? You Get Them To Move The Deadline Yet? We're Still, Uh,Negotiating.
Excuse Me, This Is Not Negotiating.
(Grunts) It's Kidnapping.
Milfree,You Have To Do This For Us.
He Practically Has The Issue Finished.
You Have No Idea What We've Been Through.
Oh,Poor,Pretty Rich Girl's Got Problems.
Boohoo! As A Matter Of Fact, I Do.
So What Do You Think? Much Better Than I Expected.
Excuse Me.
Wee Bit Of A Problem With Our Cover Girl.
Cameron Said She's Not Gonna Come Out Of The Dressing Room Until She Gets Some Booze Or Drugs.
What? What About God? Oh,Yeah.
She Mentioned Him.
She Said (Imitates Cameron) "God, I Need Some Booze Or Drugs.
" I Knew It Was A Bad Idea To Get Her Out.
Look,Maybe We Should Call Her Mother Or Her Makeup Artist.
Who Do You Think She's Closer To? Makeup Artist.
That Whole Thing With Her Mother Nuh.
Daniel.
Daniel, What Are You Doing? I'm Gonna Fix This.
How? I'm Gonna Give Her A Ink.
It's The Cover,Betty.
It's What My Father Would Do.
It's True.
You're The One Who Said To Follow In His Footsteps.
But I-- Tell The Photographer She'll Be Out In Ten Minutes.
Where Are Your Pages? (Mumbles) I Don't Know.
So You Have Nothing.
They Can't Close The Front Half Of The Book Unless We Have The "What's Hot?" Section.
(Normal Voice) I'll Get To It.
Are You Kidding Me? I'm Waiting For Inspiration To Strike.
That's What My Mother, Fey Sommers,Always Did.
Her Motto Was, "Inspiration, Not Perspiration.
" I Hate My Life.
I'm Gonna Go To My Office And Self-Medicate.
I'll Be Back In An Hour Or Thursday.
Hey,I'll Come Through.
My Mom Wait,Not Perspiration, Inspiration.
Someone Here Order 12 Pizzas? Oh,You Are Just What I've Been Waiting For.
Finally.
A Hot Chick With A Delivery Boy Fantasy.
Oh,No,No,No.
I Need A Favor That's Not Sexual.
Take Off Your Pants.
So You Just Went And Well,They Billed Me For A 14-Hour Surgery, So I Certainly Hope They Did More Than That.
And Your Family Was Like, "Hey,It's A Girl.
" Not Exactly.
My Mother Was Pretty Good, And,Actually, My Brother Was Okay, But My Father To Be Honest, I Don't Know.
I-I Thought He Got There, But Now What? Someone Said Something To Me Today That Made Me Question Everything.
You Know, When I Was 10, My Father Sold Me To The Circus.
Oh,My God.
Harvey,That's Horrible.
Wait A Minute Okay,Not Exactly, But You Wouldn't Believe How Much Big Harvey's Scored With That Line.
You Are One Twisted Mister.
Hey,It Takes One To Know One,Huh? But I Know Where You're Coming From.
Believe It Or Not, I Wasn't The Kid My Father Imagined Having, Either.
I Wasted So Much Time Trying To Win Him Over.
And Then Finally, I Just Said, "To Hell With It.
This Is Who I Am.
" Yeah,Well, My Father's Dead.
There's No One To Say "To Hell With It" To.
Exactly, You're Free.
Now It Only Matters What You Think.
If You Wanna Go, You Can Go.
Looks Like We're Not Gonna Be Making Our Deadline.
You Know What? What's Another Hour? I Might Be Able To Move Around My Other Magazines.
Sit Down.
Pass Me A Grape.
You Got It.
And Now, As A Little Thank-You, You Might Wanna Show Me Your-- No,Harvey, I Do Not.
Hey.
I Finished My Recipe.
I Left Out The Cumin.
Something Martha Taught Me-- Never Give It All Away.
Now Where's Daniel? I Have To Have Him Sign Off On This.
He's In Cameron's Dressing Room Enabling.
He's Sleeping With Her? Man,He's Good.
Uh,Uh,I Mean In Aad,Bad Way.
No,He's Giving Her A Drink.
This Shoot Sucks! Don't Touch Me,Pigs! Maybe That Drink Wasn't Such A Good Idea.
I'm America's Frean' Sweetheart! Don't Hurt Her.
Aah! And How Come No One's Taking My Picture? Amanda Is Never Going To Come Through, So I Say We Just Kill This "What's Hot?" Section, And We Pad "The Quick And Easy Styling Tips.
" But That's Just It.
They're Quick And Easy.
There's Not Much To Say.
Not So Fast.
Inspiration Has Struck.
Whew.
Ladies And Gentlemen, I Present To You January's Issue Of * "What Hot?" * Ow! (Beatboxes) Click.
It's (Makes Sizzling Sound) Hot (Imitates Echo) Hot,Hot,Hot, Hot,Hot.
I Know.
Amanda, I Knew Fey Sommers.
I Worked With Fey Sommers.
I Once Made Out With Fey Sommers.
Amanda You Are No Fey Sommers.
Kid,I Think It's Time You Went Back To The Phones.
"Easy Tips" It Is.
All Right.
I Know That You're Down, And That It's Probably Not The Best Time For Me To Lecture, But In What World Did Giving An Alcoholic A Bottle Of Vodka Seem Like The Right Thing To Do? My Father's World, But Not Mine.
I Went To Give Her The Drink, But I Couldn't Do It.
She Didn't Take It Very Well,Obviously.
Wait,You Mean,You Did-- You Didn't--You Didn't-- No.
Daniel,That's Great.
Is It? I Lost Our Cover.
Without Our Cover, There's No Issue.
I Mean, Let's Face It,Betty.
I Am No Bradford Meade.
Ugh,No,You're Not.
But Maybe That's A Good Thing.
I Mean,You've Got A Whole Blank Slate.
You Can Stop Thinking About What Bradford Meade Would Do.
What Would Daniel Meade Do? What? What? You're Staring At Me.
No,I'm Just Thinking About Something You Said.
Really? What Did I Say? Because Seriously, I'm (Yawns) So Tired Right Now, I Don't Know What Came Out Of My Mouth.
Make Sure Nobody Leaves.
I Think I May Have Found Our Cover.
Wait.
Come On.
Tell Me What I Said.
So,Ladies And Gentlemen, I Present To You The January Cover.
Oh,It's A-- It's A Foldout,Too.
Thank You.
Thank You.
(Sheila) Nice Work,Daniel.
We Sold The Advertisers On A Big,Bold Cover.
I Think This Is It.
Issue Number 4-1-2 Is Ready To Ship! Oh,No,Uh,0-0-1.
I Think After 40 Years, It's About Time For A New Legacy.
Whatever.
Let's Just Get This Bitch Out! Oh! Good Job.
You Did It.
Thank You.
Okay,You Made Me Cry.
Well,It Was Your Whole Blank Slate Thing That Gave Me The Idea.
Thank You Very Much.
You Know,Betty, You're Really Good At This.
You Sure You Don't Want To Come Back? I Can't.
My Mother Would Never Approve Of The Person I Was Becoming Here.
I Was Changing.
Hey,Hey.
You're Growing Up.
It Doesn't Matter What You Do For A Living.
You're Always Gonna Have Tough Choices To Make,Betty.
I Really Think You Can Stay Here And Still Be The Person You Want To Be-- Someone Your Mother Would Be So Proud Of.
You're Not Gonna Start Crying Again,Are You? (Voice Breaks) No.
Yes.
Thanks For Coming So Quickly,Daddy.
I Really Needed You.
You Haven't Said That To Me Since You Were A Little Girl.
I'm Sorry About Bradford.
I'm Devastated.
Consequently, I'm Moving On With My Life, And Starting A New Magazine.
So Why Am I Here? I Need Seed Money-- Just A 6-Month Swingoan.
I'll Pay You Back In Full, Give You Gross Participation That's Real Money From The First Issue On.
Where Is She? Marc? She's Right There Making Omelets.
Scallions,Senator? I'm Talking About You.
Whatever Happened To Wanda? Oh,She's Still Here, Just Prettier.
I'm Not So Sure.
Uh,What Are You Talking About? You Always Pushed Me To Be Successful, And I Want To Start A Magazine, So What's The Problem? You Buried Your Fianc? 12 Hours Ago.
You Tell Me.
This Is Rich-- You Giving Me A Lecture On Compassion.
You Know What? Let's Just Forget That This Is A Daughter Talking To Her Father, 'Cause We Both Forgot That Years Ago.
Bottom Line Is You Can Make A Fortune Off This Magazine.
I'm Sorry.
I Am Just Not Interested In Investing In A World That Turned You Into This.
Daddy,You-- You Can't Walk Out.
Daddy.
What Are You Doing In Here? Because Everybody Else Has Gone Home.
(Sniffles) Just Leave Me Alone.
I'm Drowning My Sorrows In Gorgeous Italian Leather.
Or Maybe They're Hideous.
I Don't Know.
I Thought I Got The Fashion Gene From My Mom, But I Was Totally Wrong.
She Was All Instinct With This Stuff.
It Just Came So Effortlessly.
Amanda I Worked With Your Mother.
Nothing Came Effortlessly.
But What About Her Motto? "Inspiration, Not Perspiration.
" Oh,Bullocks.
That Woman Worked Her Arse Off.
Oh,And Sweat Ke A Fishmonger.
Mm,I Should Know.
It Was Me That Had To Clean Off The Stains.
What Am I Gonna Do Now? Work Hard? Well,Goodness Knows We Can't Have That,Can We? Listen Just Because You Don't Have Fey Sommers' Talent, Does Not Mean That You're Not Still Her Daughter.
I Mean,Look At Me.
My Mother Was All Thumbs.
Fortunately,My Father Liked To Design Gowns And Wear Them.
But That Doesn't Help Me.
I Don't Know What My Father's Talents Are.
I Don't Even Know Who He Is.
Well,That's All The More Reason To Keep Looking.
Hmm? I Like It.
It's Different.
More Importantly, I'd Never Have Thought Of It.
Well, You're No Daniel Meade.
So,Betty,Now That You're Guilt-Free, You Don't Need Me Anymore.
Where Are You Gonna Send Me? Well,You Look Dressed For The Beach, Warm Sands.
You've Worked Really Hard For A Long Time,Mr.
Meade.
You Deserve A Rest.
The Beach It Is.
Am I Ever Gonna See You Again? I Guess That's Up To You.
Betty,What Is That? (Gasps) My Pink Tree.
Yeah.
I Heard Somewhere That Pink Was The New Green.
And Check It Out-- White Lights For Hilda, And Tinsel For You.
Hmm.
It's Silver, Not Gold, But You Tried.
(Whispers) Ow.
Mija, What Are You Doing? We Can't Afford Two Trees.
It's Okay.
It's My Treat.
I Took My Job Back.
Oh.
What About The Whole Tradition Thing? Well,Mom Made A Great Tree, But It's Okay To Shake It Up.
We Can Do It Our Way.
But We'll Always Have This To Honor Her.
(Man) * Feliz Navidad, Prospero Ano * May I? * Y Felicidad * (Betty) Here,Let Me Help You.
Dad,Careful.
I Got It.
I Got It.
All Right,Then.
Hey.
Good Job,Dad.
* I Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas * Okay,Here Go The Lights.
Ta-Da! Yay.
(All) Yay.
* I Wanna Wish You A Merry Christmas * Man,That Is One Ugly Tree.
Well,Maybe Next Year We Can Try Something Different.
Mm.
* Of My Heart *