Ugly Betty s03e02 Episode Script

Previously On "Ugly Betty" (Betty) You Have A Secret Husband? Booze And Pills Weren't Enough? I'm Sick.
If I Can't Marry Into The Meade Family, I Will Give Birth To An Heir.
We Need To Find A Surrogate We Can Control, Someone Who's Desperate For Money.
I'm The Editor-In-Chief Of "Mode," And This Office Is Now A Nursery.
But I'm Your Father, You Are My Son, And We're In This Together.
You're Telling Me That You're Married? I Just Wanted You To Know Because I Feel Like I'm Falling For You.
Betty, Hey! Welcome To Our New Home.
I Really Want To Take On More Responsibility.
I Just I Thought That That Was Gonna Be At "Mode.
" Daniel (Man Speaking Indistinctly) When I Said That "Player" Magazine Should Show Women In A More Professional Light, This Isn't Exactly What I Had In Mind.
Betty, That's Your Concept-- America's Hottest Lawyers.
Um, I Pihed America's Top Female Attorneys.
Look, I Know This Is "Player" Magazine, But Does Every Spread Have To Be Women In Skimpy Bras? You Know What? You're Right.
I Hadn't Thought Of That.
Let's Lose Those Bras, Please.
(Man) Lose 'Em.
No, That's Not What I Meant! That's Not What I Meant.
What Are You Working On? Nothing.
Just Doodling, You Know.
Is That "Mode"? No, It's Just, Uh, It's Just The Mock-Up For Wilhelmina's First Issue, You Know.
I Knew It, Daniel.
A Part Of You Wants To Be Back At "Mode.
" No, Look.
I Just Want To See What Wilhelmina's Up To.
You Know Exactly What She's Up To-- Firing, Scheming, Looking For A Puppy To Kick.
Well, Then I'm Happy To Be Away From It.
See? Happy.
It's Daniel's Copy Of The Mock-Up.
Oh, Crap.
I Forgot We Still Send It To Him.
I'll Make Sure We Take Him Off The List.
Uh, No.
That's Not Why I Here.
You See, Alexis, There Are A Lot Of Notes In Here, And They're Good.
I'm Sure He Has A Lot Of Notes.
It's Wilhelmina's First Issue, And He Hates Wilhelmina.
No, See, These Aren't The Notes Of Somebody Who Wants To Get To Wilhelmina.
"Cover Is Too Obscure.
Will It Sell? Pull Up Key Ads.
Where Is '"Mode" Girl On Madison'?" Alexis, He Cares About This Magazine.
He Misses "Mode.
" I Mean, He Won't Admit It, But He Belongs Here.
I Appreciate Your Loyalty To Your Boss, Betty, But Daniel Doesn't Work At "Mode" Anymore.
Okay.
Well, Thanks For Your Time.
What's Wrong? Nothing.
What's More Romantic Than Lunch On Foot With A View Of Rikers Island? (Mouth Full) Okay.
You Know, You Deserve Better Than Week-Old Lamb.
How About A Real Date? (Gasps) Really? Yeah, Jill Got Called For A Layover Flight Leaving Wednesday Morning.
I'm Thinking Maybe Wednesday Night, We Could Do Something Special.
Hey.
What--What Happened To The Smile? No, Nothing.
I Just Try To Forget That You Have A Wife, But You Have A Wife.
And I Told You How Things Stand.
Coach, Everything That You Said To Me About--About Us Having A Future Together-- Just Be Honest With Me, Is That For Real? I Promise.
You're Not The Other Woman.
You're The Only Woman.
But If You Take This Shot And Put It Right Here, It Draws Your Eye Right To The Ad.
Alexis, We Go To Print Tonight.
My Launch Party's In Two Days.
There's Time.
And What About This Cover? Angelina Jolie In A Block Of Ice? I Mean, Do You Have A Shot That's A Little Le Arty? Or At Least One Where You Can See Who It Is? Wait A Minute.
Those Aren't Your Notes.
Ugh.
Ah, The Rounded O's Of A Stunted Adolescent, The Stiff T's Of Someone Who's Clearly Overcompensating.
This Is Daniel's Handwriting.
J'accuse.
Yes, These Are Daniel's Notes, And I Happen To Agree With Them.
Why Is He Even Giving You Notes? He Isn't.
Betty Found Them And Brought Them To Me.
Now Why Don't You Put Your Ego Aside For A Second And Just Admit That Your Issue Needs Help? I Mean, Where's Our "'Mode' Girl On Madison" Feature? Who Cares What The Average Woman Wears On The Street? We Shouldn't Be Taking Their Pictures.
We Should Be Throwing Rocks At Them.
I Think Our Readers Like It.
Our Readers Like What I Tell Them To Like.
Look, We Agreed That "Mode" Needed A Kick In The Ass.
I'm Giving It A Kick In The Ass.
I Never Tire Of You Saying That.
Just Take A Look At Daniel's Notes.
Of Course.
Well, She-- I See Someone's Gonna Be A Problem.
Daniel? (Scoffs) Daniel Is An Overripe Cantaloupe Tumbling Toward Irrelevance.
I'm Talking About Betty.
She's Trying To Get Daniel Back In Here.
She's The Problem.
Okay, Lunch.
No Burrito For You.
Marc, Why Did You Do That? You Have A Lunch Date.
With You? No.
With Wilhelmina.
(Woman) Mademoiselle.
Look At Us-- Two Women Of Color Out For A Fancy Lunch On The Town.
(Chuckles) Isn't This Fun, Girlfriend? (Chuckles) I Guess.
And That Blouse Is Heaven.
Where Did You Get It? I Love It.
Okay.
No, You Don't.
No, I Don't.
It's Hideous, Like Driving Through Ohio.
Look, Let's Cut To The Chase, Betty.
I Need You.
What? You Kept Daniel's Files.
Marc Can't Make Heads Or Tails Of Them.
Um, Okay.
Yeah.
Fine.
I'll Ask Daniel For A Little Bit Of Time To Come And Work On Them.
Or You Could Recognize A Career Opportunity When You See One.
Betty, You Were The Assistant To The Editor-In-Chief At "Mode" Before.
I Think It's Time You Return To Where You Belong.
Are You Offering Me A Job? At "Mode," Working For Me.
Look, Wilhelmina, I'm Not Leaving Daniel, And To Be Frank I Don't Really Trust You.
Loyalty And Suspicion-- Two Very Admirable Qualities.
Betty, You Belong At "Mode," And I Think Daniel Would Understand.
Well, I Think Daniel Will Say That You Want To Hire Me To Ask Me To Do Very Bad, Bad Things.
(Scoffs) I Would Never Ask You To Do Anything Wrong, Ugly Or Morally Suspect.
That's What I Have Marc For, Dear.
W-- Don't Answer Now.
But Don't Throw Your Future Away At "Player.
" She Offered You A Raise, Too? A Little One, Yeah.
Well, Every Bit Helps When You Have A New Apartment.
Dad, I Am Not Going To Sell Out Daniel To Pay My Rent.
You're Not Selling Anyone Out When You're Making A Good Career Move.
Aunt Betty, You Have To Go Back To "Mode.
" "Player" Gets Me Nothing.
It's Like I'm Stuck In A Sand Trap At The Bottom Of The Ninth Quarter.
Listen To Me.
I'm Already Changing.
Oh, That Reminds Me.
Tony Wanted To Know If He Could Have One Of Those Signed "Player" Covers With All The Star Athletes For The School Auction.
Oh, Sure.
Yeah, Hilda.
I'll Just Ask Daniel Right After I Tell Him That His Mortal Enemy Offered Me A Better Job With More Pay.
Opportunities Are Coming Your Way.
This Is Something To Be Proud Of.
I Don't Think That's How Daniel's Gonna See It, Dad.
I Feel Like I Was Cheating St Talking To Wilhelmina.
You're Not Cheating.
It's Not Cheating To Explore Other Options Because Your Situation Is At A Dead End.
I Just--I Care About You.
That's All.
Well, One Thing Is For Sure.
I Have To Go In There First Thing In The Morning And Tell Daniel That I Spoke To Wilhelmina, Because Secrets In That Place Have A Way Of Going Bad.
Someone's Working Late.
Yeah.
I Just Came By To Pick Up A Little Homework.
Lucky I Ran Into You.
I Want To Make Sure You're Coming To My Launch Party.
(Scoffs) Well, I Hadn't Really-- Wonderful.
You Know, I'm So Glad We're Talking.
I Know It Seems Like I'm Trying To Poach Your Assistant.
(Laughs) Excuse Me? Oh, Betty Did Tell You We Spoke About Her Coming To Work For Me, Didn't She? I Mean, I Know You Two Have No Secrets.
Mm.
Good.
It's All Out In The Open Then.
Of Course It's Out In The Open.
I Mean, Everything's Out In The Open Between Me And Betty.
(Ding) How Could You Hide This From Me? I'm Sorry.
I'm Sorry.
God, Just The Thought Of It, You Sitting At Her Desk, Rolling Calls For Her?! Daniel, I Don't Want To Leave You.
Then Why Are You Going Behind My Back? It Wasn't Like That.
Okay, Well, Tell Me What Happened, Please.
You Met With Her, She Offered You A Job And You Didn't Say No.
Daniel, Working At "Player" Magazine Isn't Exactly My Dream Job.
I'm Not Happy Here.
I Am.
Are You? Just Stop Right Now.
I'm Not Leaving.
Do You Understand? This Is What I Want.
Well, Maybe It's Not What I Want.
Look, You Want To Go Workfor Wilhelmina ??? Daniel, Can We Please Just Talk About This Reasonably? I Am Being Utterly Reasonable! If You Hate It Here, If You Think You'd Be So Much Happier Working For Wilhelmina, Go.
Is That What You Want Me To Do? Is That What You Want To Do? Wilhelmina? Does The Offer Still Stand? -==ÆÆÀÃÐÜÀÖÔ°ÇãÇé·îÏ×==- ±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌÒµÓÃ; ³óÅ®±´µÙ µÚÈý¼¾µÚ2¼¯ ·­Ò룺¸öÈËID У Ô£º¸öÈËID ʱ¼äÖ᣺¼Ó·¹µÄ²ËÖí Daniel's Like A Different Person Since He's Been At "Player.
" All Of The Fight And Ambition Is Out Of Him.
You Can't Make People Change, Betty.
At Some Point, You've Got To Look Out For Yourself.
I Know.
You're Right.
But I'm Working For Wilhelmina.
I Know, The Wicked Witch Of The East Side.
But You're A Smart Girl.
I Am, And I Know Exactly What She's Capable Of, So I'll Just Keep My Eyes Open At All Times.
Truth Be Told I'm Glad You're Back.
Christina Must Have A Doughnut In Her Pocket.
Betty Suarez Under My Rule.
How I Have Longed For This Day.
Marc, We Don't Want Her To Quit.
We Just Want Her To Stay Away From Daniel For A While.
Just Keep Her Busy.
Betty Suarez! Our Newest Employee.
Marc.
Complimentary Mimosa? Really? No, But If You Get The Filing Right (Singsong Voice) I Won't Beat You With A Bag Of Oranges.
You Be Nice To Her.
Don't Eat Or Drink Anything That He Gives You, Okay? Oh, Don't Be Silly.
Betty's On Team Slater Now.
Ere Will Be No Drugging Of You.
Okay, Seriously, You Can't Touch My Nose Anymore.
I-I Don't Understand.
What--A Holdup? I Thought His Immigration Papers Were Going Through This Week.
I'm Sorry, Mr.
Meade.
Your Son's Grandparents In France Filed A Claim For Custody.
Oh, No, No, No.
I--Look, I Talked To Them Already.
They Agreed To The-- Well, I Guess They Changed Their Minds.
They Want Him Home.
Well, He Is Home.
I'm His Father.
Look, Yo-You Have To Do Something About This.
The State Department Has To Be Able To Do-- Your Family Connections At The State Can Help Expedite Immigration, But They Filed The Claim In Court.
This Could Turn Into A Real Custody Battle.
Daniel Jr.
Lost His Mother.
He's Not Gonna Lose His Father, Too.
These Things Can Get Ugly.
(Scoffs) Your Son Is 13 Years Old.
Maybe Before You Get Involved In A Big Legal Battle You Should Ask Him What He Wants To Do.
(Marc) Don't Interrupt, Be Invisible, And If Penelope Del Rios Asks, You're A Huge Fan Of Her Cosmetics.
You Can't Live Without 'Em.
I Don't Wear Del Rios Cosmetics.
Hold On.
(Clears Throat) Yes, You Do.
Take A Look, Penelope.
I Think You'll Agree The New "Mode" Is More Upscale, More Chic-- Exactly Your Demographic.
You'll Kick Yourself If You Don't Take Another Two Pages.
Yes, But We've Been Advertising In "Mode" For Two Years Now, And There's Been No Uptick In Our Sales.
I See No Reason To Spend More Ney.
Excuse Me.
I'm Sorry.
Oh, No.
That's For Wilhe-- Enjoy.
Aah! Thank You, Betty.
Gracias.
Not So Fast.
Tell Me (Chuckles) Betty, Do You Use My Cosmetics? It's Right On Your No.
I'm S--I-I Can't Afford Them.
Sorry.
I Do.
I'd Rather Starve Than Go Without Your Night Creme.
We Are Coming Out With A Budget Line, You Know? Really? Well, You Should Advertise That In "Mode.
" (Scoffs) I Very Much Doubt The Del Rios Budget Customers Are Poring Through The High-End Pages Of "Mode.
" Oh, They Totally Do.
My Sister-- She Has A Salon In Queens, And All Those Women Love "Mode.
" They--It's All They Talk About.
All Day Long, Rah.
"Mode.
" They Just Can't Afford Anything In It.
Isn't That Interesting? I Think We Just Found A Way To Sell Your New Line.
This Is Good.
I Came In Saying No.
I Leave Saying Yes.
Can You Believe It? My First Day Here, And I Helped Sell.
Did You Flip Your Wig? I Told You To Be Invisible.
She Asked Me A Question, And I Was Helpful.
Don't You Get It? Wilhelmina Doesn't Need Help.
You Never Outshine The Queen.
Yeah, Well, She Landed A Major Advertiser, And By The Way, Wilhelmina Totally Smiled At Me.
She Wasn't Smiling.
She Was Showing Her Teeth.
Betty! In My Office Now.
Wilhelmina I Just Want To Apologize If I Spoke Out Of Tu In Your Meeting-- I Need Some Things For The Launch Party.
Run To Dior.
Luke Created A Signature Perfume For Me.
Bee Pollen-- Make Sure It's African.
I Need Some Cleansing Milk From Diane Bouch? I Also Need The Tiara That Catherine The Great Wore At Her Wedding To Peter Iii.
It's Part Of The Permanent Collection Of The Museum Of Russian Antiquities.
I Want To Wear It To My Party.
But Do They Even-- Could You Give Me A Hint? I-- Seriously, Wilhelmina, How Am I-- Shh.
By The End Of The Day.
Come On.
Right Here.
Come On.
Yeah! All Right! It's Coming.
Oh, No! God, You're Gettin' Good At This, Aren't You? Are You Having Fun? Oui.
Good Time.
Well, I Figured Since You Had To Start School Tomorrow, We Might Get In One More Day Of Hooky.
Uh, Hooky? Like, Uh, Prostitute? No, No.
No Prostitutes.
Only When You're Older.
I Mean (Clears Throat) Not At All, Son.
No, I Just Thought We'd Talk, You Know, About Important Stuff.
So (Clears Throat) You, Uh, You Have Grandparents Back In France.
Do You--Do You Miss Them? Oui.
I Love Them Very Much.
Maybe, Uh, We Can Visit? Yeah.
Yep.
Sure.
You, Uh, Don't Want To Talk More? Nah.
You Know What? I Think That's Enough Talking.
Come On.
I Don't Get It.
I Totally Helped Her On That Del Rios Account, And Now It's Like She's Trying To Torture Me With A Tiara? It's Like She Wants Me To Quit.
What's The Worst She Could Do? Well, They Say She Once Beat An Assistant With A Car Antenna, But I Think It's Just A Myth.
(Cell Phone Rings) Oh, God, No.
Stuart.
What? What's Wrong? I Think He's Doing Drugs Again.
What? Oh, My God, Christina I Took This From His Stuff.
Ew! Ew! Ew! It's Gross! Put It Away.
That's Disgusting, But I Don't Think It Means He's Doing Drugs.
I Know, But It Can Tell Me If He Is.
I've Sent Some Hair Samples To A Lab.
Well, What Can I Do To Help You? I Need You At "Mode," Betty.
You're The Only Ally I've Got There.
So Please, Just--Just Don't Get Fired.
Well, I Can Try.
Miss, I Need You To Stand Back, Pleas Miss! I'm Sorry.
Um, Actually, I Was Wondering, Who Do I Talk To About Renting This Tiara? I Mean, You Don't Have To Laugh.
I Can't Be The First Person To Ask That Question.
Is There Somebody Else I Can Talk To? I Know It's A Crazy Request, But She Really, Really Wants It.
You Know What? Never Mind, You're Probably Just Gonna Laugh At Me, Too, Right? Okay.
I'm Guessing That's A No? (Snaps) This Is My Favorite Part Of The Job-- Injecting Deadly Poison Into My Boss' Head.
Mm.
Well, It Helps That You Have Really Feminine Fingers.
Mm.
It's A Blessing.
No Luck With Catherine The Great, Betty The Mediocre? You've Been Gone A Long Time.
I Know.
I'm Sorry.
I Ran Into A Few Troubles.
I Had To Go To Three Different Stores To Get Your Bee Pollen, But I Got It, And Your Cleansing Milk Cost Over $600, So I Had To Call Accounting First For Authorization.
Where's The Tiara? I Don't Have It But They Do.
It Turns Out The Curator's Boyfriend Dumped Her Just Because She Gained A Little Bit Of Weight Due To An Underactive Thyroid.
I Know.
It's So Sad.
So I Just Sat With Her For, Like, An Hour, And I Think That's All She Needed Was Someone To Talk To, You Know, To Listen.
Are We To Understand That You Got The Tiara By Being Nice To Someone? Well, No, Not Exactly.
We Also Have To Give The Museum A Full-Page Ad In Next Month's Issue, But I Already Talked To Ad Sales, And We Worked Out A Barter Agreement.
We Give Them Ad Space, They Give You The Tiara For 48 Hours, And Also Ed And Andy Have To Be Within 20 Feet Of The Tiara At All Times.
If You Ask Me, It's Just Beginner's Luck.
I Mean-- Marc, Take Off Your Gloves.
Betty Will Be Doing My Botox Today.
Um, Don't You Think A Doctor Should Do This Or At Least A Nurse Practitioner? Oh, I'm So Numb Up There I Wouldn't Know If You Hit Bone.
Betty, Do You Know Why I Hired You? To Help With Your Files? I Always Suspected You Were The Brains Behind Daniel Meade.
Uh, Well, No.
No, Th-That's Just-- That's Not True.
Daniel Is Very Smart.
Yes, Yes, Yes.
Smart As A Whip.
But Let's Talk About You For A Moment.
Betty, You Passed The Test.
So The Tiara Thing-- That Was A Test? Because I Thought That It Was Some Sort Of Punishment For Speaking Up In Your Meeting.
On The Contrary.
I Was Very, Very Impressed.
And It Made Me Think That Maybe You Were The One.
Like "Lord Of The Rings"? Betty, There's Only Been One Other Rson Who's Been Able To Get That Tiara--Me.
When I Was Fey Sommers' Assistant, She Wanted That Tiara For Her Launch Party Ofherfirst Issue, And I Did It.
Of Course My Methods Were A Little Less Wholesome Than Yours.
But I Proved To Her That Given A Seemingly Impossible Task, I Could Accomplish It.
So? Betty, You've Proved That You Have Rare Potential That Must Be Cultivated.
I¡®m ???? And Lord Knows, You Need Some Grooming.
You Will Be My ??, And You Will Start With Taking Over My Launch Party.
But That's Marc's Job.
And Now It's Yours.
Betty, I'm Offering You A Future.
After Being My Assistant, You Could Write Your Own Ticket In This Town.
And Who Knows? Maybe You'll Be The Next Wilhelmina Slater.
Marc? Look, I'm Hoping-- I Would Rather Eat Butter.
I Haven'even Asked You To Do Anything Yet.
You Bossing Me Around Is A Crime Against Nature.
Marc, You're Being Ridiculous.
Sorcers! You've Taken Away From Me Everything That Matters.
Marc, Look-- I Didn't Try And Take Your Job From You, And I'm So Sorry About This, But I Have To Try And Make A Launch Party Happen In Less Than 27 Hours, And There Is No Way That I Could Do It Without You.
No.
So If You Could, Please, Please, Please Try And Help Me Find A Life-Sized, Anatomically Correct Black Vodka Ice Sculpture Of You Know Who God! And Then She Just Waddles Back In Here Like A Helpless Brown Weeble, And While I'm Not Looking, Plunges My World Into Darkness.
Oh.
Poor Baby.
Come Here.
You're Nice, But Don't Touch The Hair.
It's Just How I Like It.
Okay.
Hi.
I'm Looking For Betty Suarez.
Hi.
I'm Betty Suarez.
Don't Be Absurd.
I'm Betty Suarez.
How Can I Help You? Yeah, Uh, Can You Guys Just Page Her For Me? Is That-- Oh.
Tony! Tony.
Hi.
Uh Oh, Hey.
Sorry About Them.
No, No.
It's, Uh, Okay.
Is This A Good Time To Get That Signed Copy? Um, Right.
I'll Go Down To "Player" And Get It.
You Wait Here, Just Maybe Not So Close To Them.
Here You Go.
Oh, Very Cool.
You See That Super Bowl? If I Say Yes, Will You Take Your Shirt Off? Okay, And Thanks For Coming, Tony.
Will You Tell Hilda That I'll Call Her Later Today? Yeah.
Thanks.
Bye.
Whoa! I Need Mr.
-Sugar-Pants- Bedroom-Eyes' Number.
Tony? No.
I'm Nogiving You His Phone Number.
I Need To See Him Again To Give Him His Phone, Which He Accidentally Left Here When It Fell Out Of His Pocket Into My Hand.
Wait A Second.
You Pickpocketed Coach Diaz? I Was In A Trance.
I Barely Remember What Happened.
Ooh, But These Pictures Of Him Kissing That Slutty Stewardess Are Really Dulling My Tingle.
My Sister Is Not A Stewardess.
But It Has To Be Delivered At 8:00 P.
M.
Sharp Because It's An Ice Sculpture, And I Don't Want It To Melt.
Don't Mind Me.
I Took A Train For A Half-Hour From Queens To Eat Soggy Dumplings By Myself And Watch You Talk.
Okay, I'll Call You Back In The Morning.
Thank You.
Hilda! I'm Sorry.
I Have This Launch Party Tomorrow.
It's Driving Me Crazy.
Okay, So I Heard Tony Was Sexually Harassed By Your Coworkers.
Yeah, That Happens A Lot In That Place.
(Laughs) Oh, Before I Foet, You Have His Cell Phone? Right.
Okay.
Uh, So, Hilda, This Is What I Wanted To Talk To You About.
Oh, God.
This Is-- This Is Hard.
So I Saw Some Photos On Tony's Phone Of Him And Another Woman.
Are You Okay? I'm So Sorry, Hilda.
Say Something.
That's His Wife.
What? Wait.
They're, Like, Separated? Well, You Know, It's Complicated.
What, You're Dating A Married Man? See? This Is Why I Don't Tell You Things.
Because You Judge.
Yeah, Because, Hilda, That Would Be Wrong.
Well, I Didn't Know That He Was Married When We Started Dating, And Then-- Hilda, What Are You Thinking? You Have To Get Out Of This.
This Is Just Gonna End Bad.
Well, Who Says It's Gonna End? We're Gonna Make It Work.
Look, Can't You Just Be Happy For Me? No.
He Has A Wife.
You Think I Don't Know That? You Think That Doesn't Tear Me Up? Well, Then Walk Away.
I Can't.
(Scoffs) I'm In Love With Him.
I'm Not Hungry Anymore.
Like I Said, Uh, Remember Not To Get Too Hung Up On Any One Girl.
You're--You're Young.
You Gotta Play The Field.
Quoi? And Listen In Class, Okay? That's What I Told You.
Um, ??Outer Le Teacher.
Oui.
Papa, Uh, Your French Is, Uh, How You Say--Sucky.
Just Have A Good Day.
Bonjour, Daniel.
You're A Natural Father.
Am I Being Selfish? His Grandparents Want Him Back In France.
I Know He Misses Them.
Well, He Can Miss Them And Still Want To Be Here With His Father.
He's In A Foreign Country.
He's Away From Everything He Knows, Everyone.
Don't You Think He'd Be Happier With Them? Doesn't Really Matter What I Think, Does It? I Know.
I Have To Ask Him.
I'm Just Afraid I'm Not Gonna Get The Answer I Want.
I Don't Want To Lose Him.
(Man) Where Do You Want This Ice Sculpture? Oh, No, No, No.
This Can't Be Here Right Now.
The Party Isn't Till Tonight.
She'll Melt.
Emily.
Can You Please Take These Guys Down To The Italian Restaurant And Beg Them To Let Us Use Their Walk-In? I Don't Care If You Have To Buy Every Pizza In The Place.
Just Hurry.
We Don't Want Her To Start Sagging.
You Guys, Seriously, Can You Stop Goofing Around? You Know How Wilhelmina Gets.
Yeah, How Does She Get? Tell Us.
Yeah, Tell Us.
Tell Us.
Little Miss Thing Here Has Been Working For Wilhelmina For Half A Minute, Now She's All Up In Her Gooch.
I Have Been Up All Night, Working On This Party, And There Are Still A Million Things That We Have To Do.
A Million And One, Actually.
Wilhelmina Wants You To Shred All This Old Mail Into Confetti.
I'm Busy.
Can You Do It? Uh, Let Me Think.
Hmm.
No.
Just Because You're Running This Party Doesn't Mean You Can Boss Me Around.
And You May Be In Wilhelmina's Good Graces Today, But That Doesn't Mean Anything About Tomorrow.
Loyalty Is Not One Of Wilhelmina's Strong Suits.
Oh, But, You Know, I Guess It Isn't One Of Yours Either.
What? I Am Loyal.
Really? Is That Why You Dumped Daniel The Second He Got In The Way Of Your Career Ambitions? I Guess I Shouldn't Be Surprised.
That's Exactly What Wilhelmina Would Have Done.
You Two Are A Lot More Alike Than I Thought.
Happy Shredding.
(Wilhelmina) Betty, You've Proved You Have Rare Potential.
(Daniel) Look, If You Want To Go Work For Wilhelmina, Be My Guest.
Maybe You Were The One.
If You Think You'd Be So Much Happier Working For Wilhelmina, Go.
(Marc) You Two Are A Lot More Alike Than I Thought.
I'm So Numb Up There I Wouldn't Know If You Hit Bone.
There You Are, Madame Editrix.
Thank You, Marc.
Now Be A Dear And Go Fetch Me Some Carrot Shavings.
I'm Feeling Snack-Ish.
What The Hell Are You All Staring At? Don't You Have Some Work To Screw Up? Look At Me When I'm Yelling At You! Don't Look At Me.
You--Go Fix Your Teeth.
You--Stop Eating That Doughnut.
You--Lose 10 Pounds.
You're Fired.
You're Fired.
You're All Fired.
Hi, Betty.
Uh, It's Daniel.
Remember? We Used To Work Together.
No Time.
No, No, No.
Betty, I Just Want To-- Security! No, No, No.
Wait.
Wait.
W-Wait.
Wait.
No.
I Just Wanted To Ask You A Question.
Please.
What The Hell Is That? Not The Puppy! Well, Big Date With The Coach Tonight? Not Wearing That.
Mom, Leopard And Zebra? They Fight Each Other In The Wild.
You'll Never Survive The Evening.
I Think She Looks Beautiful.
You Know Why? She's Happy.
I'm Not.
Look, Work With Me Here.
This Is What I Do.
Okay.
Thank You.
You're Welcome.
And Thank You, Papi.
You Deserve This, Mija.
(Sighs) Yeah.
Yeah.
I Do.
Okay.
I Know You're Tired Of Me Saying This, But I Have To.
You Are Wasting Your Time And Your Talent At "Player.
" You Are A Good Editor.
Betty-- I'm Not Finished.
You Belong At "Mode," Daniel.
It Is The Most Important Magazine At This Company, Your Family's Company.
You Were Good At Your Job, And If You Don't Believe Me, Then Read These.
Wilhelmina Had Somebody Hide All The Positive Letters To The Editor When You Were In Charge.
She Was Gonna Have Me Shred Them.
They're All Positive? All Of Them, And There Are Tons.
Your June Cover-- The One That She Said Was, "A Pimple On The Butt Of Fashion" Oh.
She Said That? Not The Point.
These People Loved It.
And "'Mode' Girl On Madison"? Some Of These People Said They Subscribed Just For That.
Daniel, You Have To Show These To Alexis.
(Scoffs) Come On.
She Doesn't Care About Me.
She Cares About "Mode.
" Yeah.
Okay, Look.
I Really Appreciate What You're Doing.
And, Yes, Of Course I Want To Be Back At "Mode.
" Why Do You Think I Got So Mad At You, Betty? Because You're There Reminding Me Of That Every Single Day.
Wilhelmina Won.
I Lost.
It's Over.
Daniel, Anything You Truly Want Has To Be Worth Fighting For.
You Used Me! You Just Wanted The Money To Buy Drugs! Christina, That's Not True.
Oh, I Think It Is, Because I Had A Piece Of Your Hair Tested.
What? They Found Oxycontin, Heroin.
It's Like Rush Limbaugh Fornicated With Amy Winehouse, And They Spawned You.
You Had Me Tested? Yes, I Did.
Why, Have You Got A Problem With That? You Don't Understand.
Now Just Listen To-- Just Get Your Hands Off Me! I Swear To God, I Am This Close To Calling Immigration And Having You Deported.
(Laughs) Aye.
Right.
Oh, What? You Don't Thinki Would Do It? Just You Watch Me.
Yes! Papa.
Looki Made It To The Next Level.
Would You Come Here For A Second? Uh, There There's Something I Want To Ask You.
It's Important.
Okay, So Your Grandparents Want You To Come Live With Them In France.
Comprend? Oui, Oui.
Um, Mais, Uh, Je Veux Que Tu, Uh, Habite Avec Moi.
I-I-I Want You To Live Here With Me.
Look, I Guess I Guess What's M-Most Important Here Is What Do You Want? You Are My Father.
And I Want To Stay With My Father.
Okay.
Great.
Uh Good.
So We'll Stay Together, And, Um, And We're Gonna Fight For That.
Come On.
Let's See How Good You Are.
Did You Get A Drink? Are You Having Fun? Betty, You've Really Outdone Yourself.
This Party Is Beautiful.
You're Not Wearing The Tiara.
(Scoffs) Oh, God, No.
I'm The Editor-In-Chief Of A Fashion Magazine.
I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead In A Tiara.
Right.
Of Course You Wouldn't.
Well, This Is For You.
It's My Two Weeks' Notice.
I Thought I Could Work For You, But I Can't.
I Do Want To Be Successful, Just Not By Hurting People.
I Really Misjudged You, Betty.
Under Those Gaping Pores And Caveman Eyebrows, I Thought You Were Smart.
You Think Life Is All About Who's Right And Who's Wrong, But History Is Written By Those Who Win, Not By Those Who Are The Nicest.
Enjoy Your Party.
Betty, Why Don't You Stay? This Party Is About To Get Very Interesting.
(Tony) Hello? Hey, Tony.
Are--Are You Here Yet? 'Cause I Don't See You.
Oh, Hey Bobby.
Uh, Sorry I Didn't Call You Back.
I Had A Family Thing Come Up.
She Didn't Go Out Of Town? You're Not Coming? Yeah, That's Right.
Um, Can I Follow Up With You Tomorrow? Is She There With You Now? Sure.
Sounds Good.
All Right, We'll--We'll Talk Tomorrow.
Honestly, Alexis, If This Is About A Bunch Of Ridiculous Letters, I Can Assure You-- This Isn't Just About The Letters.
I'm Not Happy With The Magazine.
I Think Your Cover Is Cold.
Well, I Had A Very Specific Vision.
I Didn't Expect You To Understand It.
Well, I Guess It Was Lost On A Few Other People, Too.
Your First Day Sales Numbers Are In And They're Not Good.
Impossible.
Your Relaunch Of "Mode" Is Our Lowest Selling Issue In Months.
While You're Valued Here As Our Creative Director, I've Made A Decision.
If You'll Excuse Me.
Ladies And Gentlemen, If I Could Have Your Attention.
I'm Happy To Announce That Tonight We Are Welcoming Back As Editor-In-Chief Of "Mode" Magazine--Daniel Meade.
Betty.
Marc.
Well, Here We Are, As If Nothing's Changed.
You Left Those Letters For Me, Didn't You? You Planned This Whole Thing So That I Would Be Back With Daniel And You Could Have Wilhelmina All To Yourself.
Oh.
Don't Be Absurd.
I Would Never Do Anything To Hurt Wilhelmina's Interests Unless They're Hurting Mine.
Don't Forget.
I Still Own A Third Of This Company.
Your Unborn Child Owns A Third Of This Company, Not You.
You Would Be Nothing Without That Baby.
But Don't Worry.
You're Still Our Creative Director.
Yeah, And I'm More Than Happy To Have You Come Work For Me.
You Can't Push Me Aside.
Oh, Really? You Are Gonna Regret This.
I Swear.
Don't You Ever Threaten My Children, Wilhelmina.
You Have No Idea The Lengths I Will Go To Protect Them.
Look, Daniel, I'm Sorry.
Look, Betty, I Never Wanted You To Leave.
I Would Never Even Consider Working For That-- Me First.
Please.
Um, Thank You For Having Faith In Me.
That's What Friends Are For.
You're Coming Back, Right? Well, That Depends On Whether Or Not I Can Keep The Raise Wilhelmina Gave Me.
?? It's Good To Have You Back, Daniel.
It's Good To Be Back.
Now Seriously, About The Raise-- You Know, Once You Go There, You Can't Really Go Back.
(Laughs) Really?