UnREAL (2015) s04e04 Episode Script

Cold Call

I'm pregnant.
It always should have been this way.
Are you absolutely sure he's the father? Because you're a lot more pregnant than you think.
August is, like, the perfect sperm donor.
I'll be the dad.
This is our child.
Either drive this boat or get the hell off it.
We can reduce you to consulting producer.
You and Maya There's, like, a bunch of rumors out there.
Maya was too drunk to consent.
You need to expose him for who he really is.
I want Roger and Maya locked in a room together by episode four.
I'm not gay.
I suck you.
You bring me coke.
Nobody deep throats like that their first time, chorus boy.
This is a live show.
What is he doing?! He can't do that.
What if Alexi was strung out on coke? Relapses right before his big premiere.
Tomorrow, nobody's gonna be talking about "Passport to Dance.
" They're gonna be talking about this.
I'm gonna get a ring on it by the end of this season.
Let's put some money on it.
You lock down one of these all-stars, I'll give you my producer bonus.
I'm not sure I'm ready for all of this.
Quinn's pregnant with your baby.
It's called a geriatric pregnancy.
Risks include premature birth, low birth weight, loss from miscarriage or stillbirth.
I'm not gonna sugarcoat the situation.
Oh, I'm getting that.
We'll know more once we run the Level 2 anatomy scan, but at your age and with your history, chances of a live birth are around 5%.
That's comforting.
Quinn, tell me something.
Are you getting the support you need? Chet has been amazing.
In my experience, it's really helpful to have a circle of girlfriends to To what? Cry with? Scarf down bowls of Cherry Garcia while we vajazzle our hoohahs? Please.
I was going to say "lean on," but your ideas are certainly interesting.
Yeah, well, leaning is not my specialty.
Women have been helping each other through pregnancy for centuries, Quinn.
Don't be too proud to ask for help.
What the hell happened with August? He just asked me to be his new producer.
- What did he say, exactly? - He was all "New season, new game, mate.
" Come on, that's not the whole story.
I screwed up in this, like, huge, insanely, stupid way.
Well, now I really want to know what happened.
Dude, just let me have it.
I know you want to.
I have no second act.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
It was another epic fail.
Guy's a douche.
Listening to that accent for a week, I'd put a gun in my mouth.
Come on.
The whole ring thing was, like, so stupid.
It's over.
It's done.
I am done with it.
Give me a break.
You're gonna fold this easy? It's just getting interesting.
Guys, Fiona's here.
And Quinn is not.
This is horseshit.
I didn't catch an early flight just pick up waiting by someone who works for me.
She just texted me, and she's stuck in really bad Yeah, we're starting without her.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Um, okay, so we are gonna be taking Alexi's "Passport" premiere lemons and spinning it into lemonade with a story Hold up.
You're the genius who brought us episode one of this turd of a dance show.
Someone else, please.
You know, the "Oh, No! Weekly" piece dropped about 40 minutes ago, and it is already burning up the Internet.
Everyone's onto the threesome and the coke on "Everlasting.
" Yeah.
I mean, it's completely pushed the "Passport" fiasco out of the news cycle.
It's a win-win.
I was promised a four-quadrant family show that parents could watch with their kids, and you give me a coked-out host having his dick stroked while tossing another girl's salad.
Exactly how is that four-quadrant win-win? Well, it Well, because it's a redemption story.
Yeah.
The horrors of addiction versus the power of hope.
Right, and spoiler alert.
Hope wins.
And, like, when Alexi comes triumphantly twirling his way onstage in the second episode of "Passport to Dance," there's not gonna be a dry eye in the country.
How is the audience gonna buy that he is a drug addict one week and squeaky clean and cured the next? - So you shut down.
- What? No.
You push episode two of "Passport" for a week.
Let us tell the story on "Everlasting.
" We watch Alexi bottom out and then crawl out of the depths to earn his victory.
Yeah, and then we've been on the journey with him.
That's Humanitas territory.
Did you actually just look at your watch because I was stuck in traffic? Nice to see you, Quinn.
Can we talk about perfect timing? The "Oh No! Weekly" piece is beyond brilliant.
Yeah, we covered that already.
And a lot more, so unless you have something else? Well, then I guess Rachel sold you on my plan.
Why go past the sale, right? How'd everything go this morning? We're still in the middle of it, Chet.
- Oh, the meeting? - Mm.
Yeah.
I'm giving you one more episode of "Passport.
" One.
No problem.
See you at the syndication party.
Come on, Chet.
Walk me to my car? So, do you want to tell me what's going on with our girl, Quinn? - Wait, what do you mean? - Cut the crap.
Something's going on.
Her head is not in the game.
Now, this is your chance to fill me in.
What gives? Other than the monster ratings Quinn's been getting, I That's only because you keep pulling a rabbit out of the hat at the last second.
You think you can do that forever? Quinn's been doing it for 15 seasons.
That's the show.
You know how many black female network presidents there are? About as many as the times Quinn's been late for a meeting.
She helped me get this job.
And now I need her to help me keep it.
5%, Chet.
Odds of a live birth, 5%.
And yet, those are still better odds than fat head Luke Howard had when he went in and pitched "Timeshare Swingers.
" And now he's got shows in Sweden, Poland, Portugal.
And then she wants me to cut back on my work hours, all right? This is not a bakery.
I can't make less of a show, so how am I supposed to do all of this? Don't women do this all the time? You know what, let take a look at this.
These are some of the places I'm thinking about.
How about the Post Ranch? You know what? My favorite.
The Bel Air.
It's a little creaky, but I like those swans.
I love swans.
Seriously? You're doing this now? You know what, can you give us a minute, actually? Yeah.
Uh, sure.
I mean, what is happening with you? That meeting was do-or-die.
Tommy and I were tap dancing and pulling shit out of our asses, and you're what? You're trying on veils? Well, if you must know, uh, I was splayed out in stirrups, listening to my gynecologist harangue me about what a friggin' miracle it is that anything could actually grow in my cryptkeeper womb.
Oh.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of stuff going on.
And apparently, I have nobody to help me deal with it.
So, I was thinking maybe place an ad on Craigslist because, you know, God knows you could give a shit.
But the truth is that the baby, struggling to survive in my desiccated uterus It's not even Chet's.
It's August's.
I am carrying your boyfriend's baby.
And even though we have decided not to tell him, I did think that you should know.
We actually broke up.
Wait, what? When did that happen? I don't want to talk about it.
It's over, but look, there's just there's no issue, okay? I'm ready to just totally go for it and help you save your show.
- Wait, wait, hang on a second.
- You know what? It's fine.
It's totally fine.
I have a job to do, and you can just you know, you can just deal with your personal shit on your own.
Hey.
Great news, superstar.
We got another episode of "Passport to Dance.
" - Ta-da! - Wow.
Vatrushki! Where did you get it? A Russian bakery in Sausalito.
It's super authentic.
Peace offering.
Thank you so much.
Any business, you talk to Sofachka.
That's me.
Sofia's a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah, and I have some concerns about episode two.
Like, no more lame-ass folk dancing.
Alexi is the talent.
He will be doing all the dancing.
It's a competition show.
Yeah, I don't think it is anymore, actually.
Food for thought.
But right now, we gotta get you to hair and makeup.
Mwah! Enjoy.
Oh, nice work, especially not strangling Sofia.
I want Alexi sweaty, coked out, throwing punches, and pissing himself.
Give it five minutes, maybe less.
Hi.
I'm I'm trying to get some air and avoid Noelle and that very prude posse of hers.
They are still really pissed at me.
Hi.
No, Mommy's still so proud of you, okay? What happens when someone gets sick? The understudy is just as important as the lead.
I love you, Tiger.
Okay, bye.
Okay, umm, that's my kid.
I know it's against the rules and everything, but I need How do you do it? Dade County Stripper of the Year and this amazing mom.
How do you juggle the whole career-woman thing? I'm curious.
Well, it's really not that easy.
You always feel like you're falling somehow, but the important thing is, you have to make time for your kid every single day even if you can't see him.
Just take time to think about him or visualize him.
- Well, I guess I should - Uh-uh-uh, nice try.
Okay, fine.
Less brain cancer for me.
- Good attitude.
- Thank you.
You know, I'm I'm really not a monster.
Maybe we could bend the rules just this one time.
You do me a favor and keep an eye on your roommate.
August? You keep an eye on him.
You see anything unusual, and you report back to me.
Deal? Deal.
And now the recovering addict crosses to check the thermostat again, wondering how it could possibly be 68 when really it's It is 94 and climbing.
Oh, look at him.
He's sweating like our Broadcast Standards guy.
Fiona wanted authenticity.
Oh, bonus points for semi-nudity.
Come on, Alexi.
Go ream out a producer about the broken A/C, you dumbass.
- Yes, there you go! - You got this! - You're on it, go.
- Me, seriously? He hates me.
- Yeah, exactly, go.
- Come on! Go, go, go, go, go.
Hey, Alexi's on the move.
Can we get a camera on him now? Hey, man.
What the hell is happening? You go fix my A/C.
It's like sauna in there.
Whoa.
Alexi, are you using again? What? What I'm saying? I don't do drugs.
I'm clean.
Ahh, and we have denial.
Check, boom.
Dude, I'm clean.
It's hard to help you if you're willing to help yourself.
I got it.
Oh! Whoa, have some dignity.
- That was right on cue.
- Ipecac.
Worked on my seventh-grade French teacher.
- Works today.
- Look, the hard work's done.
All you gotta do is reel him in.
Yes.
Watch me! Did you just poison me? You're starting to sound paranoid.
Shut the damn thing off! - Hey, Alexi! - Huh? I think it's about time you and I had a little chat.
Follow me.
Hey, Tommy, have you got a minute, mate? There's a bit of a situation with the boys.
Yep, sure.
I mean, last week was that foolish "Passport to Dance," and now it's what, the drug addict follies? At least make a pretense of showcasing some other blokes.
Yeah.
Listen, I haven't even seen a camera since Candi sucker-punched me.
There must be something you can do, yeah? Hey, I'm with you, 100%.
I'm sick of the guy.
I'm on this.
I like it.
You put this out to all my fans without telling me? It's a fall and redemption story.
What for? I did not fall! I worked my ass off to get clean.
I go to freakin' meetings.
You know that.
Nobody gives a shit, all right? Your story needed a new narrative.
What about threesome? That was the story.
Alexi Bertoff makes love like engine piston.
Yeah, it was lovely.
But Fiona is giving us one more episode.
And that might be F.
U.
money in East Putingrad, but here in America, it's squat.
No way.
I'm not doing this.
Why are you getting your dance belt all in a twist? It's going to have a happy ending.
Look, I'm done.
I only came back to make amends to Jay.
Is a part of 12 steps.
As if you didn't have a giant hard-on for the camera.
Find yourself new show monkey.
He's just a miserable little shit.
I mean, he prances around onstage in front of what, 2,000 people? Gets one episode of "Everlasting," and he has more eyeballs on him than he's had in his lifetime.
Does he even grasp the concept of celebrity? I don't know.
Maybe he thinks there's - more important things in life.
- Okay.
Can you be serious here for a second? Dude, this never should have happened.
Any other day, you would have closed this deal.
You would have invented high-level contacts in the State Department, threatening him with deportation.
There's no way you would have ever let him win, so I mean, if this is what being pregnant is gonna do to you, to us, to the show? I don't know, okay? All I know is that I am hungry all day long, and now I am craving jerky? I mean, that is grip food.
So, what are we gonna do? We need Alexi on "Passport.
" You just convince Alexi to give us a big exit from "Everlasting.
" You do that, I'll take care of the rest.
This is serious.
This is gonna kick ass.
No kidding.
Hey.
We have a little wrinkle.
Don't shoot the messenger.
Ballet boy's refusing to play ball, so Alexi's gotta lose.
Hey, hey, hey, at least I'm giving you the heads up, okay? I'm letting you in the inner sanctum.
Well, the other guys hate Alexi.
I guess I could persuade them to make his ride a little more uncomfortable than he might like.
Yeah, yeah, at long as nobody gets hurt.
Listen, everyone's wearing helmets.
And with the governor, the karts are safe enough for kids.
Wait, the governor? What's the governor have to do with anything? The governor's a regulator.
It controls the supply of steam, fuel, water.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's that's what I thought you were gonna say.
Each kart has a little lever that attaches to the shaft and throttle return-spring to - keep the speed from going crazy.
- So sorry.
I know you were saying something fascinating.
What was it? Oh, my God.
Wow, I just got this harrowing glimpse into your dating life.
And I'm the one with no second act? Mm.
Oh, yeah.
Mm.
Mm.
Someone's hungry.
This is what they call al dente? And action! Welcome to "Laps 'n' Lips.
" A go-kart race with some pretty attractive obstacles to miss and some very sexy ladies to kiss.
That's right, drivers.
If you can avoid the hazards on the road, each one of you will be rewarded with kisses from "Everlasting's" very own pit stop.
Thank you.
I will, of course, take the Sex-press lane.
- Ugh, that's disgusting.
- But remember, whoever finishes last will be going home tonight.
Thanks for keeping my seat warm, buddy.
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Gentlemen, are you ready? Start your engines! 3, 2, 1! Race! He never did play well with others.
Why is Alexi, our loser, driving like a winner? I wouldn't worry about it.
Just wait.
What the hell, man?! Whoa! Hey! Oh! They hate Alexi.
I love it.
Hey! Whoo! Are you kidding me?! Why is he going so fast? It's like he's driving a freakin' turbo car! Stop, stop! Oh, God! Don't move him! Get a medic! Quinn! Great job, genius! Get me legal on the phone! What did you do? I think I just saved your show.
Hurry up! Hurry up! Let me know if there are any updates.
No one's gonna pick me tonight.
That skanky stripper is gonna last longer on "Everlasting All-Stars" than I am.
You mean, poor Alexi, will he ever walk again? Yeah, obviously.
That goes without saying.
What? Exactly right.
Compound fractures, multiple lacerations, a shredded ACL and meniscus? That's his life, Rachel.
He's a dancer.
He was a dancer.
Now he's a TV host, so you're welcome.
Who are you? I'm your awesome, ballsy friend who needs you to focus.
Get your head back in the game.
Your girl Sofia is on the chopping block.
But I think I have an idea about how we can keep her alive.
We need Jack to ditch Skye instead.
Hi.
You're not trying to win a mixologist contest here.
All right? The guests are freaked out.
They need drinks now, so you need to make them faster.
See, this is why I was thinking maybe you should cut back on work a little bit.
It's not good for the baby.
You know, they say they can actually hear everything from the inside.
That means that Destiny could be listening to Mozart or some shit, but instead, she's listening to some Russian guy yelling, "My leg!" Destiny? It's a placeholder.
- You know, of course not.
- Come here.
Listen, can I just tell you about this thing Candi told me? Sofia, come on.
It'll work.
I don't know.
America will know I'm lying.
Yeah, exactly.
They'll see you're a two-faced villain, and they will love you for it.
And Jack will have no idea.
Trust me.
We do this shit all the time.
Enough, Chet, with this new-age crap.
I am not going to visualize that I am not at work because guess what I am at work.
I realize that.
You know why? 'Cause I'm not an idiot.
I am not just a vessel.
I am a working professional, and you need to be a colleague, not just a baby daddy.
So do me a favor.
Get the hell out of here and let me do my job.
Uh, club soda with lime.
Do you mind if I take over for a bit? It's a shame, right? I never did get to make you that mai tai.
Cheers.
I prefer a bit more rum.
Shut up, Skye.
You know what you did.
- What are you talking about? - Don't act stupid.
You know what? You're crazy.
- I'm crazy? - Yeah, you're crazy.
Well, you want to know what you are? You're a basic bitch and a slut! I came back to the room last night knowing that poor Alexi was upset and struggling with addiction, and what do I find? This one humping him like the whore she is.
What are you talking about? That's a lie.
It was a threesome that you started.
Oh, hello.
That is disgusting.
The only threesome I saw was Alexi, you, and your fat ass! Why are you doing this? The whole thing was your idea.
I would never engage in something so deviant.
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
You begged me to help you to help Alexi.
I didn't just do this for fun.
No, it was cold, and it was calculated, and it hurt a lot of people.
I was trying to help Alexi, I swear.
- I'm so over this.
- Wait! There's cameras everywhere.
You have proof.
It's probably aired by now.
Tell him! Tell Jack! It was a threesome! Ohh! Just tell him, Jay! You're such a liar! You're such a bitch! Beautiful work.
Must be why I feel so proud.
You knew? All this time, I was gushing on about Skye.
It was it was so hard for me not to say anything.
I just have the world's worst radar for nice women.
Well, maybe you just don't know where to look.
You've always seen something in me that I haven't even seen in myself.
It's there.
Hey.
Maybe we should head back out there Before I do something I might regret.
I understand.
It's a tragedy.
What's going on? Is there a problem? He's from the insurance agency.
Received an emergency call to do an investigation of the accident scene.
- What? - Apparently, there is suspicion of foul play.
Want to take me out to the track? Yeah, this way.
Hey, listen.
So the contestants are changing, but still no word from Tommy.
Who do you think even called the inspectors? You think maybe it was like somebody from the arena? Look, whatever happens, I'm taking the heat here.
This is not on you.
Mm, I appreciate that.
Are you even listening to me? August knows about the baby.
Unbelievable.
Why would you tell him? How could you betray me like that? I did tell him, okay? But it was before you told me.
I figured the whole thing out.
It was stupid, and I regretted it instantly, but he didn't even believe me.
I just kind of thought the whole thing would blow over.
So, that's why you've been busting your ass to save mine.
You thought you could atone by saving my show? Kinda.
Look.
What I need from you right now is to be on my side about the baby.
I am in unchartered territory for me, but I am doing it.
I need your support even if you don't agree.
I'm not asking you to throw me a shower.
I'm just asking you to be on board.
Okay.
Okay? That's That's it? Yeah, okay.
If you need me on board, I'm on board.
My first bit of on-board advice is to wake up and remember who you are.
Don't spend another second worrying about August.
You're a beast.
The guy's nothing.
Just go out there and squash him like a bug.
Hey.
I got this.
Hi.
Umm, I'm not sure if this helps, but I pulled the psych evals, and there's this one guy in here, August You can relax.
I didn't find any evidence of tampering.
But I did find this.
- What is this? - Cocaine.
I found it on the floor of the kart that crashed, even a little residue on the driver's glove.
So I gotta put down driver error, and you might want to get your boy some help.
Is he using again? Damn it! Thank you so much for your help today.
Dude, you son of a bitch.
It was you.
What was me? You repaired the kart that I tampered with.
You planted the coke.
And the only way that you knew to do that before the inspector showed up is if you're the one who called him.
Gee, that sounds dangerous.
Dude, you literally just put me through three hours of hell.
Well, now you know what it feels like.
I don't even know what you're talking about.
You played me today.
You used my expertise to rig my game.
Risking all of our professional lives without even telling me.
I'm sick of being boxed out and produced like some dumb-ass contestant.
Dude, we put some guy in the hospital.
I'm not gonna get you mixed up in that.
I'm sorry.
I was just, like, trying to protect you.
I don't want your protection.
I want in.
I see what you do here, and it's effed up and way not by the book and crazy high risk, but I want it.
And I'm not gonna ask again.
Phew.
So, what's up? Ever since the cocktail party, you haven't spoken two words to me.
Did those mean girls turn you against me, too? No, no, sorry.
It's It's this place.
The assholes who run it think they own us, but They don't.
I know.
Damn straight, right? Ugh.
Just don't trust them, Candi, okay? Don't believe a word that they say.
Housekeeping.
Why don't you head down for last looks, Candi? I'll see you down there.
Hmm.
So, Encyclopedia Brown, looks like you solved your case.
You weren't even gonna tell me.
I am telling you right now.
I am going to be a mom.
And the fact that one of your jizz shots ended up in my vagina instead of on some "Everlasting" bimbo's face or in one of your moisture-wicking hiking socks means shit to me.
This is Chet's baby and always will be.
You really think that it's that simple? I do.
And if you're having trouble grasping the concept, I have an army of lawyers who will make it clear for you.
You can't do this, Quinn.
Watch me.
Here we go again.
Hm.
Isn't it obvious? Feminist Roger picks poor, fallen Skye.
Look, am I ever gonna get to cut loose? Why bring the British party boy back if you're gonna clip his wings? That's a good point.
I mean, your defense of Candi, that was solid gold.
But if you pick another victim, you know, people might start to question your sincerity.
Yeah.
If I were you, I'd steer clear of Skye.
All right, places, please.
Oh, hey.
I went to crafty.
Got you a little something-something.
So just like that, we're forgetting about Alexi and laughing already? Dude, how long you been working on this show? All of a sudden, you just grew a halo and a pair of wings? Guy's lucky he still has a job.
You guys are perfect for each other.
Welcome back, Everlasting: All-Stars, to the Elimination Ceremony where we get to set the stage for more cooing and coupling.
But, of course, all good things must come to an end.
And for one lovely lass, that end happens tonight.
Yeah, but when does it happen for you?! Rodrigo, if you could get us stated, por favor? Noelle, I think we've been like two ships passing in the night, but now it's time to sail together.
I still don't understand anything he says.
Will you spend the night with me? Am I allowed to say no? Good question.
What happens, Matrix? Just watch and learn.
Um, let me check.
Ugh.
Of course, it just means more screen time for Graham, - so kind of a wash.
- Yes, Noelle, you can say no.
Keep in mind that "no" carries with it a risk.
If no one else chooses you, you'll be heading home tonight.
Is that a risk you're willing to take? No, uhh, yeah.
Rodrigo, then.
Thanks.
Next up is August.
Yeah, I'll I'll stick with the lovely Candi.
- Thanks, mate.
- Let's do this.
Next up, Jack.
- Sofia.
- Yes.
Smile, Jay.
Oh, Roger's up, and America watches raped I mean, rapt.
It's a tough choice, my friend.
But I saw "Dunkirk," and you people are not afraid of tough choices.
So, is it sexy, controversial Skye or the unassuming, if mysterious, Maya? Skye what you did was appalling.
You betrayed the sisterhood, and that's unforgivable.
So, Maya, will you spend the night with me? Come on.
Okay.
- Yes! - Oh! Wow, you did it! I said episode four.
I mean, what did I say? - Episode four.
- Episode four.
- It's episode four.
- Like clockwork.
Let's do this, right? Unh.
All right, let's go.
Rachel.
Rachel.
Huh? I mean, call it buyer's remorse, I don't know.
Maya was a bloody mess out there.
Did I make the wrong choice? Are you kidding me? Seriously, she totally likes you.
She wouldn't have come back to the show if she didn't.
She would have gone straight to the cops.
There's a reason she took off her dress in the first place.
You got it, own it.
You need help with that? - Rachel! - Hmm? Rachel, I need to talk to you.
- Sorry, Rachel.
- It's Roger.
I'm gonna need you right now.
It's important.
I'm so sorry.
I'll be right back.
There is something seriously sick and twisted and wrong with you.
That's so sweet.
You wanted in.
Welcome to the party.
I don't understand.
It was go-karts for kids, right? How could they be so unsafe? Yeah.
I mean, yeah, somebody should really sue the arena.
Right I mean Okay, I'm gonna call the nurse.
No, no! They will just give me pills.
Yeah, for the pain, which is a good thing.
I know.
I cannot get hooked again, especially now.
I got a show to host.
Alexi.
I'm so sorry.
Come on, Jay.
It's funny, right? All my life, all I ever wanted to do is dance.
It's the only one world I know.
And now, pfft.
What do I do now, Jay? The loo's free.
Maya, I am so sorry for what happened.
I know I got carried away.
Obviously, you'd had a bit too much to drink that night, so Mixed signals all 'round.
I suppose I should have called.
I wanted to.
I think you're an amazing girl.
I always have.
In fact, you're kind of the reason I came back.
I was hoping we might pick up where we left off.
He is unbelievable.
Oh, man.
Come lie with me, please.
I won't touch you.
I promise I won't bite.
Wait, that's it? You're just gonna leave me with blue balls? Where are the fireworks? They're coming.
They're just not coming tonight.
Tonight, she's just gonna lay there shaking.
And then tomorrow morning, when she wakes up, she's gonna hate herself even more because of it.
It's gonna make the blow-out that much sweeter.
Look at that.
Night-night, Tommy.
Night, Goldberg.
Hey.
I I have a little tidbit about your boy.
I'm all ears.
First of all, "Stripper Queens.
" It's, like, legit? Like, it's actually happening? Of course! Why else would we have you here? Okay, I would like something in writing, please.
Well, I'll have business affairs draw up the contracts.
Okay.
So August.
Your lady came to see him in his room.
I don't know what it's about because she gave me the boot, but afterwards he was like seething, like really pissed off, like I've never seen him like that before.
- Wh - That's all.
Let me know when those contracts are ready.
Hey.
Why aren't you with Sofia? Because I can't stop thinking about you.
Really? I know I'm supposed to be on the show and fall in love with an all-star.
But I think the person I'm falling for is right here.
Can anyone see us here? Don't worry.
No one's watching.
You gotta tell me what's going on.
I mean, with hammock boy.
Now, does he know? Yep.
How the hell did he find out? Look, it doesn't matter, all right? The important thing is, I handled it.
Atta girl.
But here is the thing that you have to remember.
I am a part of this, too.
I know that.
I'm not stoned anymore, Quinn.
And believe me, there are days when that has its drawbacks.
But on the pro column, I am here.
So I would appreciate it if you would stop treating me like some dimwit pack mule.
I'll let you get back to work.
Hey! Who's the gift for? Oh.
Uhh this is a It's a foot massage thing.
You put it under your desk, and it massages your feet.
And since you refuse to get off of them Okay, listen, listen.
You are a part of this, Chet.
All right? Come on, sit down.
Sit down.
Sit with me.
I-I want to think about the baby.
Really? Yeah.
I want to do the whole visualization crap.
- Really is kind of interesting.
- Okay.
Okay, close your eyes.
Close my eyes, okay.
And take a deep breath.
Just let your mind wander and tell me what you're thinking.
I'm thinking, is it gonna be deformed because of my ancient, geriatric womb? And what is that hideous crib in the middle of my media room? And why can't the nanny pick the crib up, - Okay.
- and I can't work, and I can't sleep! That's funny.
No, it's funny.
Just say you don't want to do this.
Okay.
Chet, listen.
I can see it.
I see you and me and the baby.
I see it.
That was so nice.
Just what the doctor ordered.
A little pediatrician humor.
Funny.
You should probably get back to Sofia.
August? What are you doing here? Uhh, I couldn't sleep.
Mm-hmm.
I made a huge mistake.
You were right, what you told me about Quinn.
Look, it was just none of my business.
No, you were the only one who cared enough to tell me.
I messed up, Rachel, and I am so sorry.
It's okay.
No, it's It's not.
Look, I Look, I just I want to go back to where we were.
Come on, it's late.
Can't we just go for a drive somewhere, and we can talk? No.
I just I can't.
- Rachel.
- What? We have something special.
You know we have.
Get in the car.