Utopia (2013) s04e06 Episode Script
Ticks Of Approval
My vision for this country - Roads, rail.
- Right across Australia.
- We are in the age of infrastructure.
- The dawn of a new era.
Take this country to the 21st century.
- Bucketloads of bitumen and bricks.
- Building a stronger country.
Record spending We're spending more than any government has ever spent.
- $44 billion.
- $75 billion.
- $100 billion.
- It's big money in anyone's language.
- This is a nation-building - Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
Nation-building.
- KATIE: Are you sure? - Katie, I never read it.
But now that you're getting a bit more free time There is one thing I won't be doing with my free time, thumbing through the International Journal of Infrastructure.
- So, unsubscribe? - Yep.
- Is your back OK? - Yep.
What? Oh, it's just a drill my golf pro gave me to stop me from swaying.
Apparently I've got to get my weight from my back foot on my front foot, but it can't come from outside of my .
.
um outside of my back foot.
Mmm.
- Are you good to go? - Yep.
Let's do it.
Is your back OK? Uh, yep.
Yep.
OK.
Alright, everyone.
Why don't we make a start? As Tony mentioned last time, as part of the transition, I will be chairing the office meeting from now on.
- And I get to relax.
- (ALL LAUGH) Uh, first up? - Minutes.
- What about them? We need to approve the minutes from last week's meeting.
- Since when do we do that? - Tony normally does it himself.
Yeah, I wouldn't delve into that too much.
Yep.
Let's assume they're approved.
- Next? - SCOTT: Apologies.
- Is anyone an apology? - ALL: No.
Then why are we doing apologies? - It's on the agenda.
- Forget the agenda.
Uh I mean, why don't we just get on with the meeting? Katie, first item.
- Is it OK if I look at the agenda? - Yep.
- What's item one? - Uh, Christmas cards.
- It's October.
- I know.
We need to lock off the designs.
- I meant the main item.
- In order of priority, I think is what - Yep.
It's alright, Tony.
I - OK.
Yep, sure.
Oh, actually, Jim's here, so I'll leave you to it.
- How's Nat going? - Oh, God! She's killing it, yeah.
Mate, I know you're stepping back, but can I put something on your plate? No, no, I'm good.
No, I'm good, yeah.
I'll just pop this in.
Actually, with the transition, I'm getting a bit of free time.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
- I've, uh, actually taken up golf.
- Me too.
- You never gave it up.
- Well, I'm playing more.
VIDEO: Located less than 14 kilometres from the CBD and occupying the old Jindalong Barracks, Taylors Bend will represent one of Australia's largest urban renewal projects.
With room for over 10,000 new homes along with retail, education and employment opportunities, this historic development represents a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to shape our urban heritage.
You mentioned this six months ago.
It's the old Defence site.
Yeah, it's kind of stalled.
- What's the problem? - Who knows? Six months? Somebody doesn't know what they're doing! (LAUGHS) Yeah.
Well, the PM would love to see it move forward.
Ticks a lot of boxes.
Unlocking federal land, jobs.
"We're not doing anything about housing"? Well, cop that! And there's a ton of these places, so you can do it around the country.
Yeah.
Any chance of you helping us out? - Sure.
Jeez, I did a lot of these.
- Yeah.
- Getting flashbacks.
- You want the department to brief? No, I'm fine.
Gotta go and work on this.
- Yeah.
Yeah, don't sway.
- Yeah? Let's talk about another organisation now.
When I say "the NBA", what comes to mind? - Basketball.
- Alright, let me be a little clearer.
If I was to say "Nation Building Australia", what comes to mind? Is that the white supremacist group? Oh, turn it off.
That's enough.
See the problem? - One group.
- Sweetheart, no-one knows our name.
Here we are spending in excess of $25 billion a year on what? - Roads, ports, rail - But what do we get for it? - Roads.
Ports.
Rail.
- Nothing! I blame him.
Year after year of, "Let's not worry about promotion.
"Let's not worry about launches.
"Oh, let's just get the job done, Rhonda.
" And where's that got us? I'll tell you.
Nowhere! Zero public recall.
Well, it's time Do you want me to find out what it's about? No.
I'm in relaxed mode.
- Ooh.
Is your back OK? - Yep.
It's fine.
- So, the old Defence site? - Oh, yeah.
Jim says there's been a few sticking points.
It's a basic brownfield development, so we've just got to tick the usual boxes and get this thing moving.
Tony, you wouldn't happen to remember your password? - For the Infrastructure Journal? - No.
Why? I need it to access your account so I can cancel it.
- That was 10 years ago.
- I know.
- You're a Platinum Reader now.
- What does that mean? Well, it gives you access to exclusive subscriber events.
I just want access to the account.
Maybe give them a call.
OK.
And just a reminder, you've got radio tomorrow.
Sure.
Oh, hey, why don't we get Nat to do it? But you normally do it.
- Oh, just tell them I'm, you know - Playing golf.
Er, no, unavailable.
Yeah.
I'll have a word to Nat.
- And Jarryd can do 11:30 tomorrow.
- Jarryd? The planning officer for Taylors Bend.
I was hoping to knock that off on the phone.
- He thinks there's a bit more to it.
- There's your problem.
Got a club fitting at lunchtime.
You know what? 11:30 should be fine.
- Anything else? - Christmas cards? So Interesting.
Just some of the factors that we can forget.
My guest today is Natalie Russell from the Nation Building Authority.
And, Nat, oh, if you just put the headphones on.
- Yep.
- We've got a full board of calls.
Bronwyn is up first.
Bronwyn, you've got a question for Natalie? BRONWYN: (ON PHONE) Uh, yeah.
Thanks, Raf.
It's actually more of a pat on the back.
I mean, I wasn't a fan of this premier, but that rail link to the airport, well done.
Thanks, Bronwyn.
Uh, that project is actually state AND federal, and Yeah, well, good on him for sticking to his guns and sticking it up Canberra.
In fairness, Bronwyn, Canberra revived the idea and it was us, the NBA, who secured the corridor, the $3 billion in funding, so let's call it a shared credit.
Bronwyn? Oh.
Bronwyn's gone.
Annie, you're up next.
What's your question for Natalie? As I said, Jarryd, it's been a while since I've done a brownfield Those are the updated council guidelines.
Uh, yeah, good.
Funny story, I was working on Do you remember the Docklands redevelopment site? Because that was a lot of reclaimed land - Shall we make a start? - Yep.
Let's do that.
Let's begin with residential.
What's your current housing strategy? Uh, to build them.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, in terms of density, height, setback, required energy efficiency rating.
Well, we're just working through some of the finer details.
Scotty? Yeah, we're just sorting through a few things.
It'll need to come under your construction management plan.
Sure.
Yep.
And, of course, comply with local council building codes.
Yeah, well, we're liaising with the council.
Which one? - Both.
- There are four.
Yeah.
Yeah, Scotty? - Yeah.
Yeah, oh, well - Yeah, yeah, we Each with their own guidelines.
Which is why I'm looking for a unified construction and design code from YOU.
- One that ticks all the boxes.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
So you'll get it to me? - Oh, yep, yep, yep, sure.
Just to go back to that story before, it was (CHUCKLES) We turn up on day one and, um - Shall we keep going? - Er, yep.
Yep, let's do that.
I'll come back to that, because it's quite a funny kicker at the end.
- And put that one underneath.
Yep.
- Yep.
- Is that residential housing? - Yep.
Mm-hm.
- So, that is what is it, Scotty? - The unified Uh, design codes.
Oh, right.
OK.
And is that it? - Yep.
- Beauty.
- Let's do site access.
- Yeah, let's do site access.
Then we can work our way through all the other issues.
Just one second, Jarryd.
I just gotta jump on something - (RINGING TONE) - .
.
about this afternoon.
- KATIE: Hello.
- Katie, Tony.
Can you just push back my afternoon meeting with, er, Mr Green? - Who? - You know, Mr Green? Mr Fairway? I thought you were going to the golf course.
No, no.
I'm not going to the golf - Is it his club fitting, Katie? - No, no, whatever.
Just push everything back half an hour, or or maybe an hour.
Yeah.
OK.
(HANGS UP) Um just to go back to what we were saying before - Page 12.
- Yep, let's do that.
COURTNEY: So, these are our three options.
Seriously? We need to nominate our preferred design.
- I reckon this one.
- Sure.
Yeah, but without the snow and the reindeer, it's a bit Northern Hemisphere.
- So? - Cultural appropriation.
- What? - Just make it more Aussie.
You know, sunburn, more realistic.
Reali? There's a man flying through the sky on a sleigh.
I reckon we'd be safer with option B.
- Yep, fine.
- So I can circulate it for approval? What? The minister's office needs to sign off too.
Since when? Since always.
We just never told Tony.
Nat, Rhonda was wondering if you had a moment sometime today for a quick chat.
She's sitting in my office.
So that's a yes? - Rhonda.
- Really? "Let's call it a shared credit"? - One caller.
- Tip of the iceberg.
Here we are trying to highlight our achievements.
Next minute, you've got Talkback bloody Bronwyn fawning all over a state premier.
I tried explaining how the funding works.
It's not entirely your fault.
We're just not getting the credit we deserve.
Rhonda, I just think we've got more important things to worry about.
And I just happen to think it's a priority and we need professional help.
When you say "help" Karsten can be here first thing tomorrow.
Have you spoken to Tony about this? You think I'm gonna let old Jurassic Jack come in here and put a handbrake on progress? I don't think so, with his, "Oh, Rhonda, let's focus on building things.
"Let's not worry about public awareness.
" - Is she pointing at us? - Just ignore it.
I just want to make sure we've got all this.
You'll need the construction design codes.
Yes.
- Shade study, noise abatement report.
- Yep.
And the external finish's fire rating.
- Non-combustible.
- Yeah, yeah.
Got that.
- So, the new cladding guidelines? - How new? - Last month.
- No.
And social housing framework.
- Yes.
Yeah.
- Just remind me of that one? What percentage of residential stock you anticipate being reserved for public tenancy.
It should come under your community engagement mission statement.
- Ah, there we go.
Well, that'll be - It's in there.
And once you've covered off on all of that - Then we're good to go.
- Yep.
Oh, I'll need a copy of your bollard placement plan.
- Yeah, that's ringing a bell.
- Is the, uh It'll be part of your counterterrorism assessment.
- Ah.
Yes.
- Well, again, another one.
- And once all that's done - Yep.
.
.
we can move on to the big-ticket items.
Yep.
- Scotty? - SCOTT: Yep? Coming.
Alright.
Yeah, I got it.
OK, so, the water profile audit, that's to do with the water table.
- Uh-huh.
- And the run-off and waste policy, that's everything before it enters the drain.
So we need two policies? Ah, three.
There's also a proximity to aquifer overlay.
Whatever that If you're happy to handle that, I'll find out what the artificial light management plan involves and the ambulance access strategy.
- Katie? - Still getting the club fitting? Yeah, I've just pushed it back to three.
I want to jump on all this and get back to Jim.
- Can you order another whiteboard? - I'll speak to Brian.
And I'm just on the Infrastructure Journal help page.
- I thought you were gonna call.
- It's a call centre.
This is quicker.
Is it OK if I say "forgotten password"? - Sure.
- You're not a robot? - Katie.
- Oh.
They've just sent a new password to your phone.
Ah.
To my phone number from 10 years ago? - Oh.
- Yeah.
- Maybe give them a call.
- Sure.
- This just arrived as well.
- What is it? Uh, soil testing report from Oh.
There's a problem.
Katie, can you call the club? (LIFT BELL DINGS) (PHONE RINGS) Good morning.
Nation Building Authority.
A federal government agency building a better future for all Australia.
Yeah, I'll put you through now.
- Morning, Nat.
- What was that? Oh, Rhonda wants me to say it.
Apparently we're not getting enough credit.
Good news.
The minister's office has given us provisional approval.
- Which project? - The Christmas card.
Jesus.
Why is it provisional? They were wondering if one of the Three Wise Men could be a woman.
No.
Or if Mary could have a more active role? - She's just given birth.
- They're worried about gender issues.
We can't rewrite Christmas.
I was wondering if we should have gone with option C.
- What was option C? - Christmas tree.
Great.
The tree.
- I think it'll be less problematic.
- (PHONE RINGS) Oh.
Good morning.
Nation Building Authority.
A federal government agency building a better future for all Australia.
- Rhonda, Rhonda, Rhonda! - Darling.
Mwah.
Mwah.
Mwah.
- Too long.
- Yes.
- Come in, come in.
- Oh.
OK.
Yep.
Come in.
And this guy! Great to be back in the building.
Shall we take a seat? Well, firstly, thank you so much for coming at such short notice.
Ah.
Well, it did sound like a teensy bit of a crisis.
Oh, no, I wouldn't call it a crisis.
Rhonda sent me your radio interview.
Ouch.
'Nuff said.
But you just have to look at the research.
Awareness levels, sub-30%.
Corporate identity, poor to very poor.
- No clear brand voice.
- We're not selling handbags.
- Reach.
Engagement.
Earned media.
- It's worse than I thought.
It's pretty obvious you have let your profile drift.
I blame him, Handbrake Harry in there.
So, I guess the question is, do we need to rebrand or reboot? - Neither.
- Both.
Either way, it's an opportunity for fresh impact.
- What exactly would this involve? - The rebrand or the reboot? - Either.
- Both.
For others to know who we are, WE have to know who we are, and who we are is defined by why we are.
- How? - What? - Who are we talking about? - When? - Now.
- I think we're making progress.
- Way over there.
- Huh? Oh.
All across there.
TONY: It's funny, what I was saying before, I did the original feasibility study for the Eveleigh Railyards, and that was a bit of a challenge.
- So, it was a site not unlike - Here's Kostas now.
- Yep.
I'll finish - KOSTAS: Sorry about that.
- Oh, yep, not a problem.
- Thanks for coming down.
- Got my report? - Sure.
Yep.
(CHUCKLES) Whoa! Pretty heavily contaminated.
Yeah, well, Defence and industrial land, I mean, it's to be expected, isn't it? Initial thoughts on remediation strategies? Blink reaction, cap and fill.
- ALL: What?! - What? You know, take the top layer off.
- But this is gonna be residential.
- Yeah.
- It's residential! - Yeah, with a layer of clean soil No, no, we can't have people living on this soil.
I don't know how they did things back in your day, but My day? .
.
We can't approve a plan like this.
- No way.
- OK, we'll have to get rid of it.
- Absolutely.
- It's gonna cost a fortune.
If you want the permit.
OK, well, we'll dig it up and chuck it out.
Well, the question is, how? Trucks? Heavily contaminated material being driven through local streets? How do you propose to do that? - At night? - This isn't the 1970s! - I was at school in the 19 - Or the Wild West.
I mean, no, we are gonna need a toxic substance transport plant.
- A what? - Fully approved.
- I was wondering about that.
- MAN: Excuse me? I live over there, and we were just wondering what's happening with the site.
We heard the government might be selling it off.
- Not selling it but - Sorry, Tony.
We welcome queries, sir, but it's best done through this number.
That's a community hotline.
They'll be able to deal with any questions you might have.
- Er, yeah, well, I was just - Thanks so much.
OK? What was that about? These days, it's best we don't speak directly with the public.
But you're the public liaison officer.
Exactly.
What did you do in your day? Speak with the public.
Hmmm.
- RHONDA: What is it, Karsten? - Your name.
- Ash? - No, not What's wrong with our name? - The NBA.
- A little plain? (INHALES) The Nation Building Authority (GROANS) Is it any wonder the focus groups were so bad? Is that really the name for a new era? - Course it isn't.
- Lacks a bit of cut-through.
- It's what we do.
Build.
- True story.
A couple of years back, I was asked to help with a few departments.
Immigration, Customs, Quarantine.
I put them together and came up with Border Force! - I love that show! - Pow! - Real cut-through.
- Gave them black uniforms.
Sent a very clear message to new arrivals.
"You're not welcome.
" "We are in charge and our purpose is clear.
" - To search Asians for food.
- Keep this country safe.
Mmm.
If you could do that for us, Karsten.
- Yeah, with your buy-in - We could be Building Force.
- No.
- I wouldn't rule it out.
We can't go on like this.
People not knowing what we do, you floundering around on radio So, what are you proposing? I say that we start with - .
.
a full ideation session.
- Yes.
Karsten, I really don't want the office distracted by this exercise.
Nat.
Natalie.
Look around.
You have some of the best and brightest minds working here.
(CLUNK!) (CLUNK! CLUNK!) And what exactly would this ideation session involve? I want to start with a few exercises.
I want you to shake.
I want you to shake.
Shake it out! Shake it out! Yes, that's it.
Shake out the old.
Shake out the old, decrepit, flaccid NBA! Out! (HUFFS) (ALL HUFF AND PANT) Argh! Get away! Get away! Get away! - What's that all about? - No idea.
- How's this looking? - Yeah, we've run into a few hurdles.
- Protesters? - Planning officers.
- (GROANS) But you're making headway? - Yeah.
'Cause the boss would really love to see this move forward.
Yeah, just ticking off boxes.
- Housing, site access - SCOTT: Environmental.
Oh, which reminds me, did we hear back from the tree guy? - Oh.
Not sure.
- (RINGING TONE) KATIE: Hello? Katie, did we get a call back from an arborist? - Uh, yes.
- And? - Are you sure you want to know? - Yes.
He said that spruce, fir and pine trees are not native and therefore unsuitable.
- Unsuitable for what? - The Christmas cards.
- What? - Ohh! Different arborist.
Anyway, if you could get your skates on? Yep.
What is going on in there? KARSTEN: And finally, breathe it out! (ALL EXHALE) Well done, everyone.
Well done.
Alright, grab a seat.
Let's start by identifying some of the words that we think define the NBA.
Just just toss them out.
- Future.
- Mm-hm.
(WHISPERS) Future.
- COURTNEY: Building.
- Mm-hm.
Big? Infrastructure.
What about 'leading'? Are we, uh, an organisation that is leading? Are we a leading organisation? Well, we're an organisation that IS leading.
- Karsten, I'm hearing 'leading'.
- So am I.
Great, OK, well, I'll pop 'leading' down, then.
- He's just writing words he likes.
- Shh-shh.
OK! Now, let's all grab a pen.
Time to get granular! SCOTT: So, according to the National Trust, several of them are classified as "of significant heritage value".
What's significant about them? It's just a pile of rubble covered in weeds.
Native grasses.
We also have a problem with graffiti.
- Well, just clean it.
- Ooh, no.
- It's heritage-listed.
- You're not serious? - What did they say it was? - 'Neo-Banksy'.
It's just a giant penis, for - Sorry, I'll come back.
- Oh, sorry, no, no.
Sorry, Katie, no, it's fine.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Um, Scotty, the captain's here.
Sorry, why is there an airline captain here? He's helping us with the drone policy.
We're under a flight path.
- Are we? - Yeah.
Oh, well, add it to the list.
What's next for me? - You've got Liam.
- Liam? - Your arborist.
- Oh, my arborist.
Can he help us with our Christmas cards while he's here? I'll ask him.
Scott.
Now, 'brand' can't be written large enough.
Impossible? Bang! Big data.
Optimisation.
Not stuck to optimisation Chuck it out the door! Context marketing is then Brand equity.
What Symbol.
Now we know who that man is.
Big data.
Huh? Well, we have all spent a bit of time this morning working on a SWOT exercise, looking at our strengths, our, uh, weaknesses, and now I would like to move on to opportunities.
How do people find out what we do? Freedom of Information requests? Let's go bigger.
Blue sky.
No bad ideas.
How do we get people talking about the NBA? - BRIAN: We could do a TV show.
- What?! Get people to pitch their new project ideas and then we choose the best ones to invest in.
(ALL AGREE) - And who are these people, Brian? - A cross-section.
Couples.
So, you've got the bitchy couple, you've got the newlyweds, you've got the ethnic siblings - And when you say "no bad ideas" - Keep going, Brian.
You've got the mother and daughter combination, you've got the tradie, you've got the footy mates, you've got the rich elderly couple.
TONY: So, there's three Moreton Bay figs, you know, 100 years old, and if we want to build - MAN: Shall we? - Yep.
This is our current preservation plan.
It gives you a fair overview of the species we're dealing with.
Yeah, we were actually down at the site the other day.
To be honest, there weren't that many actual trees.
You would have spotted remnant specimens.
- Scrubby little things? - Acacia, melaleuca.
SCOTT: That's them.
It's important that we preserve diversity of canopy.
- There IS no canopy.
- Or CREATE diversity of canopy.
What happened to just looking after the more mature specimens? Thankfully, those bad old days are behind us.
Bad old days? We'll also need our formal preservation strategy signed off by Parks, Wildlife and Urban Waterways, yeah? - Waterways? - You're on a river.
- Riparian zone.
- Ah.
Riparian zone.
I-is that another plan? It'll be part of your wetland management strategy.
Wetland? Where's the wet Str? - The old WMS.
- OK, yep.
- Shall we? - Yep.
Let's keep going.
Oh, Nat! I said I wasn't gonna do this, but why is Karsten in the building? He wants to rebrand.
OK.
Trigger warning.
- I'll keep a lid on it.
- Yep.
- KATIE: I'm in! - Oh, it worked! Temporary password.
International Journal of Infrastructure account settings.
Let's do this thing.
- "Unsubscribe"? - Hit it.
"Are you sure? Yes, no?" Yes.
Hit it.
"Please take a moment to tell us why you are unsubscribing.
" 'Cause I never want to hear that publication ever again.
- That's not one of the options.
- Yeah, well, choose one.
"No longer interested in content.
Signed up by mistake.
"Receiving too many emails" Too many emails.
"Would it be helpful if we changed the frequency of our emails?" - No.
- "Daily, weekly, monthly" - Is 'never' an option? - Yes.
- Then hit 'never'.
- "Congratulations!" You have successfully unsubscribed.
"You have received six months' complimentary membership.
" That's nice.
NAT: We've gone back to the Nativity? The minister intervened.
Said he won't bow to political correctness.
- OK.
- But good news.
The Three Wise Men can be men, provided that the shepherd is a woman or gender-neutral.
- A shepherdess? - Possibly.
And the animals can't look distressed.
- Do they? - Um They don't.
- RHONDA: Natalie.
- Oh.
Rhonda.
- Karsten! - Ash, hop it.
- (KARSTEN INHALES) - You're back.
It hit me last night, Nat.
Yesterday was a complete waste of time.
- Yep.
- Look at that window.
Did you want it left on? It was all just full of words.
- Isn't that what you wanted? - It's not words we need, Nat.
- It is an image.
- Visual branding.
- When people think of hamburgers - Golden Arches.
- Sportswear.
- Swoosh.
When people drive past our sites, what do they see? An overweight union official holding a stop/go sign? Well, from now on, they're only gonna see one thing.
- That's a Christmas card.
- Is it? My mistake.
- What do you think? - Well, I guess.
- But we're still the NBA? - Yes, but with a tick! I reckon King Island would have to be the most underrated course in the country.
It's pretty well rated.
Dunno why you didn't come down with us.
Yeah, I was meeting with a bicycle action group.
- Huh? - For Taylors Bend.
The Defence site.
- Oh! Is it still going? - Yeah.
Jeez, I tell you, it's a young man's game now.
Well, I'm, yeah, not that old.
- Shot.
Good shot.
- (PHONE DINGS) - Ooh, I might have hooked that.
- Oh, it was pretty good.
Sorry, I'm just gonna have to jump on this.
- Yeah, go ahead.
No-one behind us.
- (RINGING TONE) COURTNEY: Hello.
Nation Building Authority.
A leading federal government agency dedicated to building infrastructure projects of national importance.
Tony here, Courtney.
Has that spiel got longer? - A little.
- Yeah.
Hey, where's Scotty? He left about half an hour ago and hasn't come back.
Alright, well, I'll try him on his mobile.
Thanks.
Great.
- Alright, your shot.
- Yep.
- (CART APPROACHES) - Alrighty.
SCOTT: Tony! Tony! Problem.
It's definitely World War I.
Almost certainly Light Horse Brigade.
Who knows what else we'll find? - KATIE: Tony? - Yeah? - Ooh.
- This just arrived for you.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Oh, my new golf clubs.
At last! (CHUCKLES) Watch it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Thanks.
- OK, one more time? - Yep, sure.
- Uh, stormwater sediment report? - Completed.
Indigenous land use agreement? I've spoken to the elders.
There's no native title issues.
And they're happy to help out with the smoking ceremony, subject to total fire bans.
Which reminds me, the bushfire safety audit? Buffer zones cleared and emergency assembly points identified.
- Migratory bird nesting site? - Fenced off and approved.
Which leaves us Oh, RSL? Plaques to be installed and the northern precinct to be named Beersheba Rise, and we've invited that Major-General to the launch.
He's gonna turn the first sod.
Oh, lovely touch.
I think we're close.
I think we are.
- Ah.
- What the hell? I think it's for your office.
Part of the rebranding.
- Yep.
- Must tie in with the new ad.
What ad? VOICEOVER: You may not have noticed, but the federal government is ticking a lot of boxes.
All of this country's projects are getting the tick.
You may not hear about them, and that's fine by us, as long as we keep ticking away.
Whenever you see the green and gold tick, you'll know the federal government is hard at work for all Australians.
But we're not going to shout about it.
Written and authorised by the Federal Government, Canberra.
TONY: It's been quite a process, yeah.
So, Tony, tell me, does this mean the Heart Foundation is involved? Uh, no, Major-General.
It's a symbol that the government put a lot of money into the project.
- Ah.
Excellent.
- Yeah.
I must thank the Premier.
Yep.
Thank you Yep, federal government as well For a while there, I didn't think we were gonna get this thing finished.
Yeah, took a little longer than anticipated.
Alright, let's get the show on the road.
OK, find a spot on the stage, folks, come on.
- Gather round, everyone.
- That's good.
That's good.
Alright, here we go.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is an exciting day for us all, a day many thought would never come.
But my government is committed to providing housing for all Australians, and where better to start than here at Beersheba Rise? It is my very great pleasure to now call on Retired Major-General David Strickland to turn the first sod.
Major-General, thank you, sir.
In front of the, uh the tick.
- In here? - Perfect, yep, great.
OK.
- Let's do it.
- (METALLIC CLUNK) - What? - (CLUNK!) - (CLANG! CLANG!) - What's wrong? OK, everyone back! Evacuate now! At the double! Unexploded ordnance! Move it! .
.
organisation agenda.
But the troubled development could be facing further delays after this morning's launch did not go quite to plan.
The discovery of unexploded ordnance sent dignitaries ducking for cover at the Taylors Bend Defence site.
Tony.
Your magazines have arrived.
Looks like you got a few back copies there.
- Thanks, Brian.
- Easy.
- Katie? - It's 'cause you're platinum! OK, we have identified our opportunities and threats, but do you know what is missing from all of this? You! An organisation's greatest asset is its people! Round of applause.
- What's the problem? - The minister's photo.
He thinks it's too small.
So the minister would like to be bigger than Jesus? If possible.
- Right across Australia.
- We are in the age of infrastructure.
- The dawn of a new era.
Take this country to the 21st century.
- Bucketloads of bitumen and bricks.
- Building a stronger country.
Record spending We're spending more than any government has ever spent.
- $44 billion.
- $75 billion.
- $100 billion.
- It's big money in anyone's language.
- This is a nation-building - Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
- Nation-building.
Nation-building.
- KATIE: Are you sure? - Katie, I never read it.
But now that you're getting a bit more free time There is one thing I won't be doing with my free time, thumbing through the International Journal of Infrastructure.
- So, unsubscribe? - Yep.
- Is your back OK? - Yep.
What? Oh, it's just a drill my golf pro gave me to stop me from swaying.
Apparently I've got to get my weight from my back foot on my front foot, but it can't come from outside of my .
.
um outside of my back foot.
Mmm.
- Are you good to go? - Yep.
Let's do it.
Is your back OK? Uh, yep.
Yep.
OK.
Alright, everyone.
Why don't we make a start? As Tony mentioned last time, as part of the transition, I will be chairing the office meeting from now on.
- And I get to relax.
- (ALL LAUGH) Uh, first up? - Minutes.
- What about them? We need to approve the minutes from last week's meeting.
- Since when do we do that? - Tony normally does it himself.
Yeah, I wouldn't delve into that too much.
Yep.
Let's assume they're approved.
- Next? - SCOTT: Apologies.
- Is anyone an apology? - ALL: No.
Then why are we doing apologies? - It's on the agenda.
- Forget the agenda.
Uh I mean, why don't we just get on with the meeting? Katie, first item.
- Is it OK if I look at the agenda? - Yep.
- What's item one? - Uh, Christmas cards.
- It's October.
- I know.
We need to lock off the designs.
- I meant the main item.
- In order of priority, I think is what - Yep.
It's alright, Tony.
I - OK.
Yep, sure.
Oh, actually, Jim's here, so I'll leave you to it.
- How's Nat going? - Oh, God! She's killing it, yeah.
Mate, I know you're stepping back, but can I put something on your plate? No, no, I'm good.
No, I'm good, yeah.
I'll just pop this in.
Actually, with the transition, I'm getting a bit of free time.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
- I've, uh, actually taken up golf.
- Me too.
- You never gave it up.
- Well, I'm playing more.
VIDEO: Located less than 14 kilometres from the CBD and occupying the old Jindalong Barracks, Taylors Bend will represent one of Australia's largest urban renewal projects.
With room for over 10,000 new homes along with retail, education and employment opportunities, this historic development represents a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to shape our urban heritage.
You mentioned this six months ago.
It's the old Defence site.
Yeah, it's kind of stalled.
- What's the problem? - Who knows? Six months? Somebody doesn't know what they're doing! (LAUGHS) Yeah.
Well, the PM would love to see it move forward.
Ticks a lot of boxes.
Unlocking federal land, jobs.
"We're not doing anything about housing"? Well, cop that! And there's a ton of these places, so you can do it around the country.
Yeah.
Any chance of you helping us out? - Sure.
Jeez, I did a lot of these.
- Yeah.
- Getting flashbacks.
- You want the department to brief? No, I'm fine.
Gotta go and work on this.
- Yeah.
Yeah, don't sway.
- Yeah? Let's talk about another organisation now.
When I say "the NBA", what comes to mind? - Basketball.
- Alright, let me be a little clearer.
If I was to say "Nation Building Australia", what comes to mind? Is that the white supremacist group? Oh, turn it off.
That's enough.
See the problem? - One group.
- Sweetheart, no-one knows our name.
Here we are spending in excess of $25 billion a year on what? - Roads, ports, rail - But what do we get for it? - Roads.
Ports.
Rail.
- Nothing! I blame him.
Year after year of, "Let's not worry about promotion.
"Let's not worry about launches.
"Oh, let's just get the job done, Rhonda.
" And where's that got us? I'll tell you.
Nowhere! Zero public recall.
Well, it's time Do you want me to find out what it's about? No.
I'm in relaxed mode.
- Ooh.
Is your back OK? - Yep.
It's fine.
- So, the old Defence site? - Oh, yeah.
Jim says there's been a few sticking points.
It's a basic brownfield development, so we've just got to tick the usual boxes and get this thing moving.
Tony, you wouldn't happen to remember your password? - For the Infrastructure Journal? - No.
Why? I need it to access your account so I can cancel it.
- That was 10 years ago.
- I know.
- You're a Platinum Reader now.
- What does that mean? Well, it gives you access to exclusive subscriber events.
I just want access to the account.
Maybe give them a call.
OK.
And just a reminder, you've got radio tomorrow.
Sure.
Oh, hey, why don't we get Nat to do it? But you normally do it.
- Oh, just tell them I'm, you know - Playing golf.
Er, no, unavailable.
Yeah.
I'll have a word to Nat.
- And Jarryd can do 11:30 tomorrow.
- Jarryd? The planning officer for Taylors Bend.
I was hoping to knock that off on the phone.
- He thinks there's a bit more to it.
- There's your problem.
Got a club fitting at lunchtime.
You know what? 11:30 should be fine.
- Anything else? - Christmas cards? So Interesting.
Just some of the factors that we can forget.
My guest today is Natalie Russell from the Nation Building Authority.
And, Nat, oh, if you just put the headphones on.
- Yep.
- We've got a full board of calls.
Bronwyn is up first.
Bronwyn, you've got a question for Natalie? BRONWYN: (ON PHONE) Uh, yeah.
Thanks, Raf.
It's actually more of a pat on the back.
I mean, I wasn't a fan of this premier, but that rail link to the airport, well done.
Thanks, Bronwyn.
Uh, that project is actually state AND federal, and Yeah, well, good on him for sticking to his guns and sticking it up Canberra.
In fairness, Bronwyn, Canberra revived the idea and it was us, the NBA, who secured the corridor, the $3 billion in funding, so let's call it a shared credit.
Bronwyn? Oh.
Bronwyn's gone.
Annie, you're up next.
What's your question for Natalie? As I said, Jarryd, it's been a while since I've done a brownfield Those are the updated council guidelines.
Uh, yeah, good.
Funny story, I was working on Do you remember the Docklands redevelopment site? Because that was a lot of reclaimed land - Shall we make a start? - Yep.
Let's do that.
Let's begin with residential.
What's your current housing strategy? Uh, to build them.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, in terms of density, height, setback, required energy efficiency rating.
Well, we're just working through some of the finer details.
Scotty? Yeah, we're just sorting through a few things.
It'll need to come under your construction management plan.
Sure.
Yep.
And, of course, comply with local council building codes.
Yeah, well, we're liaising with the council.
Which one? - Both.
- There are four.
Yeah.
Yeah, Scotty? - Yeah.
Yeah, oh, well - Yeah, yeah, we Each with their own guidelines.
Which is why I'm looking for a unified construction and design code from YOU.
- One that ticks all the boxes.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
So you'll get it to me? - Oh, yep, yep, yep, sure.
Just to go back to that story before, it was (CHUCKLES) We turn up on day one and, um - Shall we keep going? - Er, yep.
Yep, let's do that.
I'll come back to that, because it's quite a funny kicker at the end.
- And put that one underneath.
Yep.
- Yep.
- Is that residential housing? - Yep.
Mm-hm.
- So, that is what is it, Scotty? - The unified Uh, design codes.
Oh, right.
OK.
And is that it? - Yep.
- Beauty.
- Let's do site access.
- Yeah, let's do site access.
Then we can work our way through all the other issues.
Just one second, Jarryd.
I just gotta jump on something - (RINGING TONE) - .
.
about this afternoon.
- KATIE: Hello.
- Katie, Tony.
Can you just push back my afternoon meeting with, er, Mr Green? - Who? - You know, Mr Green? Mr Fairway? I thought you were going to the golf course.
No, no.
I'm not going to the golf - Is it his club fitting, Katie? - No, no, whatever.
Just push everything back half an hour, or or maybe an hour.
Yeah.
OK.
(HANGS UP) Um just to go back to what we were saying before - Page 12.
- Yep, let's do that.
COURTNEY: So, these are our three options.
Seriously? We need to nominate our preferred design.
- I reckon this one.
- Sure.
Yeah, but without the snow and the reindeer, it's a bit Northern Hemisphere.
- So? - Cultural appropriation.
- What? - Just make it more Aussie.
You know, sunburn, more realistic.
Reali? There's a man flying through the sky on a sleigh.
I reckon we'd be safer with option B.
- Yep, fine.
- So I can circulate it for approval? What? The minister's office needs to sign off too.
Since when? Since always.
We just never told Tony.
Nat, Rhonda was wondering if you had a moment sometime today for a quick chat.
She's sitting in my office.
So that's a yes? - Rhonda.
- Really? "Let's call it a shared credit"? - One caller.
- Tip of the iceberg.
Here we are trying to highlight our achievements.
Next minute, you've got Talkback bloody Bronwyn fawning all over a state premier.
I tried explaining how the funding works.
It's not entirely your fault.
We're just not getting the credit we deserve.
Rhonda, I just think we've got more important things to worry about.
And I just happen to think it's a priority and we need professional help.
When you say "help" Karsten can be here first thing tomorrow.
Have you spoken to Tony about this? You think I'm gonna let old Jurassic Jack come in here and put a handbrake on progress? I don't think so, with his, "Oh, Rhonda, let's focus on building things.
"Let's not worry about public awareness.
" - Is she pointing at us? - Just ignore it.
I just want to make sure we've got all this.
You'll need the construction design codes.
Yes.
- Shade study, noise abatement report.
- Yep.
And the external finish's fire rating.
- Non-combustible.
- Yeah, yeah.
Got that.
- So, the new cladding guidelines? - How new? - Last month.
- No.
And social housing framework.
- Yes.
Yeah.
- Just remind me of that one? What percentage of residential stock you anticipate being reserved for public tenancy.
It should come under your community engagement mission statement.
- Ah, there we go.
Well, that'll be - It's in there.
And once you've covered off on all of that - Then we're good to go.
- Yep.
Oh, I'll need a copy of your bollard placement plan.
- Yeah, that's ringing a bell.
- Is the, uh It'll be part of your counterterrorism assessment.
- Ah.
Yes.
- Well, again, another one.
- And once all that's done - Yep.
.
.
we can move on to the big-ticket items.
Yep.
- Scotty? - SCOTT: Yep? Coming.
Alright.
Yeah, I got it.
OK, so, the water profile audit, that's to do with the water table.
- Uh-huh.
- And the run-off and waste policy, that's everything before it enters the drain.
So we need two policies? Ah, three.
There's also a proximity to aquifer overlay.
Whatever that If you're happy to handle that, I'll find out what the artificial light management plan involves and the ambulance access strategy.
- Katie? - Still getting the club fitting? Yeah, I've just pushed it back to three.
I want to jump on all this and get back to Jim.
- Can you order another whiteboard? - I'll speak to Brian.
And I'm just on the Infrastructure Journal help page.
- I thought you were gonna call.
- It's a call centre.
This is quicker.
Is it OK if I say "forgotten password"? - Sure.
- You're not a robot? - Katie.
- Oh.
They've just sent a new password to your phone.
Ah.
To my phone number from 10 years ago? - Oh.
- Yeah.
- Maybe give them a call.
- Sure.
- This just arrived as well.
- What is it? Uh, soil testing report from Oh.
There's a problem.
Katie, can you call the club? (LIFT BELL DINGS) (PHONE RINGS) Good morning.
Nation Building Authority.
A federal government agency building a better future for all Australia.
Yeah, I'll put you through now.
- Morning, Nat.
- What was that? Oh, Rhonda wants me to say it.
Apparently we're not getting enough credit.
Good news.
The minister's office has given us provisional approval.
- Which project? - The Christmas card.
Jesus.
Why is it provisional? They were wondering if one of the Three Wise Men could be a woman.
No.
Or if Mary could have a more active role? - She's just given birth.
- They're worried about gender issues.
We can't rewrite Christmas.
I was wondering if we should have gone with option C.
- What was option C? - Christmas tree.
Great.
The tree.
- I think it'll be less problematic.
- (PHONE RINGS) Oh.
Good morning.
Nation Building Authority.
A federal government agency building a better future for all Australia.
- Rhonda, Rhonda, Rhonda! - Darling.
Mwah.
Mwah.
Mwah.
- Too long.
- Yes.
- Come in, come in.
- Oh.
OK.
Yep.
Come in.
And this guy! Great to be back in the building.
Shall we take a seat? Well, firstly, thank you so much for coming at such short notice.
Ah.
Well, it did sound like a teensy bit of a crisis.
Oh, no, I wouldn't call it a crisis.
Rhonda sent me your radio interview.
Ouch.
'Nuff said.
But you just have to look at the research.
Awareness levels, sub-30%.
Corporate identity, poor to very poor.
- No clear brand voice.
- We're not selling handbags.
- Reach.
Engagement.
Earned media.
- It's worse than I thought.
It's pretty obvious you have let your profile drift.
I blame him, Handbrake Harry in there.
So, I guess the question is, do we need to rebrand or reboot? - Neither.
- Both.
Either way, it's an opportunity for fresh impact.
- What exactly would this involve? - The rebrand or the reboot? - Either.
- Both.
For others to know who we are, WE have to know who we are, and who we are is defined by why we are.
- How? - What? - Who are we talking about? - When? - Now.
- I think we're making progress.
- Way over there.
- Huh? Oh.
All across there.
TONY: It's funny, what I was saying before, I did the original feasibility study for the Eveleigh Railyards, and that was a bit of a challenge.
- So, it was a site not unlike - Here's Kostas now.
- Yep.
I'll finish - KOSTAS: Sorry about that.
- Oh, yep, not a problem.
- Thanks for coming down.
- Got my report? - Sure.
Yep.
(CHUCKLES) Whoa! Pretty heavily contaminated.
Yeah, well, Defence and industrial land, I mean, it's to be expected, isn't it? Initial thoughts on remediation strategies? Blink reaction, cap and fill.
- ALL: What?! - What? You know, take the top layer off.
- But this is gonna be residential.
- Yeah.
- It's residential! - Yeah, with a layer of clean soil No, no, we can't have people living on this soil.
I don't know how they did things back in your day, but My day? .
.
We can't approve a plan like this.
- No way.
- OK, we'll have to get rid of it.
- Absolutely.
- It's gonna cost a fortune.
If you want the permit.
OK, well, we'll dig it up and chuck it out.
Well, the question is, how? Trucks? Heavily contaminated material being driven through local streets? How do you propose to do that? - At night? - This isn't the 1970s! - I was at school in the 19 - Or the Wild West.
I mean, no, we are gonna need a toxic substance transport plant.
- A what? - Fully approved.
- I was wondering about that.
- MAN: Excuse me? I live over there, and we were just wondering what's happening with the site.
We heard the government might be selling it off.
- Not selling it but - Sorry, Tony.
We welcome queries, sir, but it's best done through this number.
That's a community hotline.
They'll be able to deal with any questions you might have.
- Er, yeah, well, I was just - Thanks so much.
OK? What was that about? These days, it's best we don't speak directly with the public.
But you're the public liaison officer.
Exactly.
What did you do in your day? Speak with the public.
Hmmm.
- RHONDA: What is it, Karsten? - Your name.
- Ash? - No, not What's wrong with our name? - The NBA.
- A little plain? (INHALES) The Nation Building Authority (GROANS) Is it any wonder the focus groups were so bad? Is that really the name for a new era? - Course it isn't.
- Lacks a bit of cut-through.
- It's what we do.
Build.
- True story.
A couple of years back, I was asked to help with a few departments.
Immigration, Customs, Quarantine.
I put them together and came up with Border Force! - I love that show! - Pow! - Real cut-through.
- Gave them black uniforms.
Sent a very clear message to new arrivals.
"You're not welcome.
" "We are in charge and our purpose is clear.
" - To search Asians for food.
- Keep this country safe.
Mmm.
If you could do that for us, Karsten.
- Yeah, with your buy-in - We could be Building Force.
- No.
- I wouldn't rule it out.
We can't go on like this.
People not knowing what we do, you floundering around on radio So, what are you proposing? I say that we start with - .
.
a full ideation session.
- Yes.
Karsten, I really don't want the office distracted by this exercise.
Nat.
Natalie.
Look around.
You have some of the best and brightest minds working here.
(CLUNK!) (CLUNK! CLUNK!) And what exactly would this ideation session involve? I want to start with a few exercises.
I want you to shake.
I want you to shake.
Shake it out! Shake it out! Yes, that's it.
Shake out the old.
Shake out the old, decrepit, flaccid NBA! Out! (HUFFS) (ALL HUFF AND PANT) Argh! Get away! Get away! Get away! - What's that all about? - No idea.
- How's this looking? - Yeah, we've run into a few hurdles.
- Protesters? - Planning officers.
- (GROANS) But you're making headway? - Yeah.
'Cause the boss would really love to see this move forward.
Yeah, just ticking off boxes.
- Housing, site access - SCOTT: Environmental.
Oh, which reminds me, did we hear back from the tree guy? - Oh.
Not sure.
- (RINGING TONE) KATIE: Hello? Katie, did we get a call back from an arborist? - Uh, yes.
- And? - Are you sure you want to know? - Yes.
He said that spruce, fir and pine trees are not native and therefore unsuitable.
- Unsuitable for what? - The Christmas cards.
- What? - Ohh! Different arborist.
Anyway, if you could get your skates on? Yep.
What is going on in there? KARSTEN: And finally, breathe it out! (ALL EXHALE) Well done, everyone.
Well done.
Alright, grab a seat.
Let's start by identifying some of the words that we think define the NBA.
Just just toss them out.
- Future.
- Mm-hm.
(WHISPERS) Future.
- COURTNEY: Building.
- Mm-hm.
Big? Infrastructure.
What about 'leading'? Are we, uh, an organisation that is leading? Are we a leading organisation? Well, we're an organisation that IS leading.
- Karsten, I'm hearing 'leading'.
- So am I.
Great, OK, well, I'll pop 'leading' down, then.
- He's just writing words he likes.
- Shh-shh.
OK! Now, let's all grab a pen.
Time to get granular! SCOTT: So, according to the National Trust, several of them are classified as "of significant heritage value".
What's significant about them? It's just a pile of rubble covered in weeds.
Native grasses.
We also have a problem with graffiti.
- Well, just clean it.
- Ooh, no.
- It's heritage-listed.
- You're not serious? - What did they say it was? - 'Neo-Banksy'.
It's just a giant penis, for - Sorry, I'll come back.
- Oh, sorry, no, no.
Sorry, Katie, no, it's fine.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Um, Scotty, the captain's here.
Sorry, why is there an airline captain here? He's helping us with the drone policy.
We're under a flight path.
- Are we? - Yeah.
Oh, well, add it to the list.
What's next for me? - You've got Liam.
- Liam? - Your arborist.
- Oh, my arborist.
Can he help us with our Christmas cards while he's here? I'll ask him.
Scott.
Now, 'brand' can't be written large enough.
Impossible? Bang! Big data.
Optimisation.
Not stuck to optimisation Chuck it out the door! Context marketing is then Brand equity.
What Symbol.
Now we know who that man is.
Big data.
Huh? Well, we have all spent a bit of time this morning working on a SWOT exercise, looking at our strengths, our, uh, weaknesses, and now I would like to move on to opportunities.
How do people find out what we do? Freedom of Information requests? Let's go bigger.
Blue sky.
No bad ideas.
How do we get people talking about the NBA? - BRIAN: We could do a TV show.
- What?! Get people to pitch their new project ideas and then we choose the best ones to invest in.
(ALL AGREE) - And who are these people, Brian? - A cross-section.
Couples.
So, you've got the bitchy couple, you've got the newlyweds, you've got the ethnic siblings - And when you say "no bad ideas" - Keep going, Brian.
You've got the mother and daughter combination, you've got the tradie, you've got the footy mates, you've got the rich elderly couple.
TONY: So, there's three Moreton Bay figs, you know, 100 years old, and if we want to build - MAN: Shall we? - Yep.
This is our current preservation plan.
It gives you a fair overview of the species we're dealing with.
Yeah, we were actually down at the site the other day.
To be honest, there weren't that many actual trees.
You would have spotted remnant specimens.
- Scrubby little things? - Acacia, melaleuca.
SCOTT: That's them.
It's important that we preserve diversity of canopy.
- There IS no canopy.
- Or CREATE diversity of canopy.
What happened to just looking after the more mature specimens? Thankfully, those bad old days are behind us.
Bad old days? We'll also need our formal preservation strategy signed off by Parks, Wildlife and Urban Waterways, yeah? - Waterways? - You're on a river.
- Riparian zone.
- Ah.
Riparian zone.
I-is that another plan? It'll be part of your wetland management strategy.
Wetland? Where's the wet Str? - The old WMS.
- OK, yep.
- Shall we? - Yep.
Let's keep going.
Oh, Nat! I said I wasn't gonna do this, but why is Karsten in the building? He wants to rebrand.
OK.
Trigger warning.
- I'll keep a lid on it.
- Yep.
- KATIE: I'm in! - Oh, it worked! Temporary password.
International Journal of Infrastructure account settings.
Let's do this thing.
- "Unsubscribe"? - Hit it.
"Are you sure? Yes, no?" Yes.
Hit it.
"Please take a moment to tell us why you are unsubscribing.
" 'Cause I never want to hear that publication ever again.
- That's not one of the options.
- Yeah, well, choose one.
"No longer interested in content.
Signed up by mistake.
"Receiving too many emails" Too many emails.
"Would it be helpful if we changed the frequency of our emails?" - No.
- "Daily, weekly, monthly" - Is 'never' an option? - Yes.
- Then hit 'never'.
- "Congratulations!" You have successfully unsubscribed.
"You have received six months' complimentary membership.
" That's nice.
NAT: We've gone back to the Nativity? The minister intervened.
Said he won't bow to political correctness.
- OK.
- But good news.
The Three Wise Men can be men, provided that the shepherd is a woman or gender-neutral.
- A shepherdess? - Possibly.
And the animals can't look distressed.
- Do they? - Um They don't.
- RHONDA: Natalie.
- Oh.
Rhonda.
- Karsten! - Ash, hop it.
- (KARSTEN INHALES) - You're back.
It hit me last night, Nat.
Yesterday was a complete waste of time.
- Yep.
- Look at that window.
Did you want it left on? It was all just full of words.
- Isn't that what you wanted? - It's not words we need, Nat.
- It is an image.
- Visual branding.
- When people think of hamburgers - Golden Arches.
- Sportswear.
- Swoosh.
When people drive past our sites, what do they see? An overweight union official holding a stop/go sign? Well, from now on, they're only gonna see one thing.
- That's a Christmas card.
- Is it? My mistake.
- What do you think? - Well, I guess.
- But we're still the NBA? - Yes, but with a tick! I reckon King Island would have to be the most underrated course in the country.
It's pretty well rated.
Dunno why you didn't come down with us.
Yeah, I was meeting with a bicycle action group.
- Huh? - For Taylors Bend.
The Defence site.
- Oh! Is it still going? - Yeah.
Jeez, I tell you, it's a young man's game now.
Well, I'm, yeah, not that old.
- Shot.
Good shot.
- (PHONE DINGS) - Ooh, I might have hooked that.
- Oh, it was pretty good.
Sorry, I'm just gonna have to jump on this.
- Yeah, go ahead.
No-one behind us.
- (RINGING TONE) COURTNEY: Hello.
Nation Building Authority.
A leading federal government agency dedicated to building infrastructure projects of national importance.
Tony here, Courtney.
Has that spiel got longer? - A little.
- Yeah.
Hey, where's Scotty? He left about half an hour ago and hasn't come back.
Alright, well, I'll try him on his mobile.
Thanks.
Great.
- Alright, your shot.
- Yep.
- (CART APPROACHES) - Alrighty.
SCOTT: Tony! Tony! Problem.
It's definitely World War I.
Almost certainly Light Horse Brigade.
Who knows what else we'll find? - KATIE: Tony? - Yeah? - Ooh.
- This just arrived for you.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Thank you.
Oh, my new golf clubs.
At last! (CHUCKLES) Watch it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Thanks.
- OK, one more time? - Yep, sure.
- Uh, stormwater sediment report? - Completed.
Indigenous land use agreement? I've spoken to the elders.
There's no native title issues.
And they're happy to help out with the smoking ceremony, subject to total fire bans.
Which reminds me, the bushfire safety audit? Buffer zones cleared and emergency assembly points identified.
- Migratory bird nesting site? - Fenced off and approved.
Which leaves us Oh, RSL? Plaques to be installed and the northern precinct to be named Beersheba Rise, and we've invited that Major-General to the launch.
He's gonna turn the first sod.
Oh, lovely touch.
I think we're close.
I think we are.
- Ah.
- What the hell? I think it's for your office.
Part of the rebranding.
- Yep.
- Must tie in with the new ad.
What ad? VOICEOVER: You may not have noticed, but the federal government is ticking a lot of boxes.
All of this country's projects are getting the tick.
You may not hear about them, and that's fine by us, as long as we keep ticking away.
Whenever you see the green and gold tick, you'll know the federal government is hard at work for all Australians.
But we're not going to shout about it.
Written and authorised by the Federal Government, Canberra.
TONY: It's been quite a process, yeah.
So, Tony, tell me, does this mean the Heart Foundation is involved? Uh, no, Major-General.
It's a symbol that the government put a lot of money into the project.
- Ah.
Excellent.
- Yeah.
I must thank the Premier.
Yep.
Thank you Yep, federal government as well For a while there, I didn't think we were gonna get this thing finished.
Yeah, took a little longer than anticipated.
Alright, let's get the show on the road.
OK, find a spot on the stage, folks, come on.
- Gather round, everyone.
- That's good.
That's good.
Alright, here we go.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is an exciting day for us all, a day many thought would never come.
But my government is committed to providing housing for all Australians, and where better to start than here at Beersheba Rise? It is my very great pleasure to now call on Retired Major-General David Strickland to turn the first sod.
Major-General, thank you, sir.
In front of the, uh the tick.
- In here? - Perfect, yep, great.
OK.
- Let's do it.
- (METALLIC CLUNK) - What? - (CLUNK!) - (CLANG! CLANG!) - What's wrong? OK, everyone back! Evacuate now! At the double! Unexploded ordnance! Move it! .
.
organisation agenda.
But the troubled development could be facing further delays after this morning's launch did not go quite to plan.
The discovery of unexploded ordnance sent dignitaries ducking for cover at the Taylors Bend Defence site.
Tony.
Your magazines have arrived.
Looks like you got a few back copies there.
- Thanks, Brian.
- Easy.
- Katie? - It's 'cause you're platinum! OK, we have identified our opportunities and threats, but do you know what is missing from all of this? You! An organisation's greatest asset is its people! Round of applause.
- What's the problem? - The minister's photo.
He thinks it's too small.
So the minister would like to be bigger than Jesus? If possible.