Vanderpump Villa (2024) s01e08 Episode Script

Love, Death, and Beyond

[group] Cheers.
[Lisa Vanderpump] Previously, on
Vanderpump Villa
Sara is here to celebrate
her divorce, of all things.
[Megan] Is someone coming
to give me a massage?
-[Eric] Face that way.
-[Megan] Oh! [gasps]
[Lisa] We don't offer a
massage service here.
I'll be pulling his
leash a little tighter.
I'm not gonna hold this
staff meeting.
Stephen, I want you
to do that for me.
It's a very weird feeling
to have somebody replace you.
[dramatic music playing]
Priscila's leaving,
so we are going to welcome
our new staff member.
-This is Nikki.
She's so freaking hot!
What the [bleep]?
-Marciano, do you know her or something?
He's acting like he
[bleep] Nikki.
-Do you think she's prettier?
-Oh gosh, Hannah.
Ew. Stay the [bleep]
away from me.
I'm literally so confused
what I did wrong.
[Hannah] You literally lie!
[bleep] liar!
-Marciano, screw you too.
-I'll talk to her.
[Nikki crying]
[Hannah] Who the [bleep]
cries on their first day?
Am I dreaming?
Nikki's in my room crying.
Hannah and Marciano
are fighting.
Stay right there.
-[punches door]
-[Marciano] Holy shit!
Marciano totally turned on me.
I have had it with the Chateau.
[intriguing theme
music playing]
[intense music playing]
[Hannah] You're a piece of shit
and don't have my back.
I'm done being talked
to like a [bleep] animal.
I'm leaving.
-[Telly] I don't think you
-No, please, please go.
-Hannah, stop. Don't.
-Please. Go.
[Telly] We don't even know
what happened, Hannah.
What do you mean? They're
literally talking shit in there.
What else?
[Hannah] They're talking
shit in there? [bleep] that.
The guests are
arriving tomorrow and
me and Gabriella
are trying to sleep.
But no, no, no, no, no, no,
[chuckles] no, no, no.
Hannah's lashing out.
[Hannah] Oh, he was yelling
at you again?
Like, shut up. I'm leaving.
[Gabriella] Hannah is like the
little girl who cried wolf.
She wants to go off on people
and be a bully,
but then she's the one crying
that she says she
wants to go home.
Hannah, if-if you wanna
go home babe, go home.
[pensive music playing]
I mean, I could see everybody
in the Chateau thinking
that I always just
cause a drama-fest
and I don't think it's fair,
'cause they don't know
what the [bleep]
I've been through
with Marciano.
He's a trigger for me.
My own ex-boyfriend is acting
like he's asleep right now.
[upbeat music playing]
Last night, Eric has
the consideration
to give me his room
because Chef and I has to
wake up early every morning
to make sure everything
is right for the guests.
After the kiss and Carcassonne,
and talking about divorce,
I'm seeing a different
side of Eric.
I like that.
Did you make your [indistinct]
yet, or no?
No. I'm gonna make one.
The thing is I didn't
really get a chance
to get to know Eric.
It was more about
work, work, work.
And now it's a new look.
I like it. I really like it.
-[birds chirping]
-[knocking at door]
[plucky music playing]
-[birds chirping]
[Eric] The last few days
have been crazy.
Hannah lost her shit and
a [bleep] divorce party.
But I am very grateful that
we had a gorgeous setting
with a beautiful sunrise
and I'm so happy to
experience this with Emily.
We made it.
Every morning we're gonna
make this sunrise out here,
no matter what crazy stuff
happens in this house.
[accordion folk music playing]
-[Emily] Yeah. [chuckles]
[Eric] It's like a detox
from everything.
[exhales] Stress, guests.
[sighs] Can't wait to see
what this day brings.
[both chuckle]
I think it is a lil
a little much.
Yeah, like, it's
just nice, like,
to have someone to talk to,
someone that likes nature,
someone that can wake up early
and just, like,
watch the sunrise.
Maybe I do like Eric.
[both chuckle]
I mean, I'm open to it
but also, I'm trying
to focus on the job
and show everyone that
I'm a good worker
and show everyone that
I know what I'm doing.
-[sheep bleating]
-[Emily] Bernard woke me up this morning.
-[Eric] I know. He-He was up.
-[Emily] Did you hear him?
-He was up before the sun came up, yeah.
[Emily] That's what initially woke me up
when I looked outside.
There's been times
when I double-take Emily.
She's any guy's dream.
She's the most capable,
prettiest, natural,
beautiful girl in this
whole chateau.
I really think that
she's the beauty
of this whole operation,
but I really want to keep
it professional.
So, Bernard's our alarm
clock from now on.
-[Bernard bleating]
[vibrant music playing]
It's definitely difficult
being the new girl.
The past 24 hours
or so have been
a rollercoaster of emotions.
There's been drama between me,
Marciano, and Hannah.
-[Lisa] Nikki?
-[Nikki] Hello.
-Come in, darling.
But I just, like, want
to do good work
and I want Lisa
to know it as well.
How are you?
I want to know everything.
-[curious music playing]
It was a bit of an
underwhelming enthusiasm
for my arrival, I'll say.
Marciano said to me,
"I don't need you."
Or, "I would rather you not
be here. We don't want you."
I don't know personally
what he needs,
but I know my Chateau
needs another server.
It was like, I think
2:00 a.m. or so,
when basically the entire
Chateau was waking up
from Hannah yelling.
[Nikki] Just saying she
doesn't wanna be here.
Yeah, I basically
cried myself to sleep.
-You cried yourself sleep?
-But Yes.
And that argument,
I just felt like I couldn't win.
And then, she's like,
"Babe, just stop crying.
I was just talking to you."
But I'm just like
it started
and I just can't stop.
Oh God. Okay.
Often with staff
I hear the text,
but I'm reading the subtext.
Hannah's threatened by Nikki
and now I need to
talk to Hannah.
Okay, I've heard enough.
You have every reason
to be here.
Put your shoulders
back and stand up to anybody
who says otherwise, okay?
-Have you got that?
-I got it.
-Okay. Thank you, darling.
-Thank you.
-Can you send me Hannah, please?
[Lisa] I thought that Hannah
was doing much better,
but to have somebody
go to bed in tears
is not happening.
Not on my watch.
So I need to get to the
root of the problem.
There she is.
-[plucky music playing]
[Hannah sighs]
What time are you leaving?
Didn't you pack your bags?
Yeah, I did.
They're not still packed?
I'm not in the business of
keeping anybody that
wants to leave.
-If you want to leave, it's not a threat.
It's, "Okay I'm done"
-[Hannah] Mm-hmm.
-"and I'm fine with that."
-I mean, I'd be sorry to see you go
because I think you
have a lot of potential
-but right now
I think you're stuck in a rut,
and we've got to get
you out of this.
Who you are and
who I know you can be
is not what I'm hearing.
Oh, my God. I can't believe
Nikki [bleep] said
something to her.
-[sassy music playing]
-If we're talking about the new girl,
I did give her a chance.
Okay. Did you Hannah?
[Nikki sobbing]
She's batshit crazy.
She's crying.
What are you crying about?
-Did you really give her a chance?
-I feel like I did.
-We're good. We're good.
-[Nikki] Was that the issue?
[Nikki] Like, you thought that you
had looked away?
-'Cause I thought
-Again, I just said we're good.
Are you dismissing me?
-Are you
-[Hannah] I'm dismissing you. 100%.
Do you honestly feel you can
look me in the eyes and say,
"I welcomed her in. I wanted
to make her comfortable,"?
No you didn't.
Maybe I was a little
th-thrown off guard
and a little insecure
in the moment.
There is a trigger for you
and it's Marciano.
I've seen it before.
I saw it with Priscila.
-[Hannah] Wow.
-[Priscila] What happened?
Come on.
[Lisa] I want you to realize
that it doesn't matter
about other women.
You don't have to
knock out women
that you see as competition.
[intense music playing]
There's always a woman that's
gonna flirt with your boyfriend
and you're not even really
together with Marciano.
You can be the best
Hannah there is.
That's how you can be.
Not, "I'm an angry
little bitch."
'Cause that's how you've been.
[dramatic sting]
You're going to be
under my watch.
Hannah needs to get her
shit together really quickly
because I don't have the time
or the patience for
this to keep going.
This isn't just about
the Chateau.
This is a life lesson.
[pensive music playing]
You're enough, Hannah.
Why don't you feel enough?
[crying] I don't know.
Tell me. Why don't
you feel enough?
[crying] 'Cause I've
been burned.
I get it.
[Lisa] You're so individual
that you almost, uh,
have this magic about you.
And how smart you are,
you don't need to feel
insecure about anything.
I don't wanna, like,
start crying,
but I think I've just been
hurt by Marciano
where I get insecure.
I've been burned
so many times that I'm like,
"Oh is it something with me?"
[voice breaking] Or, you know
[Lisa] You will always be
the best Hannah there can be.
-Do you understand?
And that's enough.
You screaming till
two o'clock in the morning
does nothing for anybody
and it does nothing for your
relationship with Marciano.
[solemn music playing]
Take a moment.
I'm moving forward
after with my talk with Lisa,
and her saying like,
"You need to tell yourself
every day you are enough."
I need to stop reacting
off emotions.
Like, if there's the thought
that goes through my head,
I need to, like, sit on it.
I just don't wanna fly
off the wall anymore.
Walking out of this door,
I wanna see a
change in you, Hannah.
Put a smile on your face,
put your shoulders back,
and you're good enough.
You got this.
[upbeat music playing]
We have the next group
of guests coming.
So I need to make some
changes amongst the staff
because I can't afford to
be put in this situation
that Eric put me in
with the divorce party.
Good morning!
[staff] Good morning!
Whoa! [chuckles]
This looks good.
We have guest of honor,
She's entering her thirties
in style with a lavish affair
that symbolizes a grand
adieu to her twenties.
Look at her, poor thing.
She's gonna be 30 years old.
I've got underwear
older than that.
[staff laughing]
Anyway. Um, Eric,
you're not gonna be interacting
with any of the guests.
[dramatic sting]
After the last debacle
over the last bunch of guests,
Eric needs to understand
that there are consequences
to actions.
This is a professional job.
Everybody thinks this is
some kooky weird shit.
[Lisa] We don't offer a
massage service here.
When Eric was working
for me in Los Angeles,
he was very, very professional.
He definitely brings a
unique flavor to the Chateau,
but Eric has lost his
je ne sais quoi.
So, because he's very
accomplished as a handyman,
I'm pulling Eric out
of the Chateau.
There's ditches that
need to be dug.
There's chandeliers that
need to be installed.
And then I'm gonna ask
Stephen to step in for Eric
because he's very, very capable.
He did a wonderful job
for me in Vegas.
Okay, because you are not
at the front of the house,
I'm going to need somebody
to check them in.
Stephen, that's gonna be you.
Lisa wants to give Stephen
my job of greeting the guests?
Enjoy being the
"chateau manager"
for the day, Stephen,
because it's never gonna last.
Hope it's nice and cool for you
working under my shadow.
Stephen, if you have
any questions,
you could just ask.
I don't think he will.
-[Eric] Alright. Understood.
-[Lisa] Alright?
[Eric] I'm happy and proud.
Go get 'em Tiger.
Appreciate you, Eric.
[groans] I need Eric to stop.
He's just always looking
for a reason to just speak.
He needs to take a seat 'cause I
know the details she's looking for.
It's exciting to step back
into those shoes again
and prove that
I'm the right guy.
Are we all on the
same page? Yes?
-[staff] Yes.
-[Lisa] Thank you.
-I'll see you later.
-[Eric] Thank you. Meeting adjourned.
[upbeat music playing]
What the [bleep]?
[Gabriella] Damn.
Oh, my God.
Lisa is tasking me with
many different projects
and you know why?
Because I can do anything.
[circus music playing]
Do you think that
Stephen's gonna be
cutting the grass?
I don't think so.
Getting shit done
is my middle name.
[Eric grunting, panting]
[Emily] Eric is just outside
doing manual labor.
Somethin' that
I think he genuinely
enjoys doing and
something I genuinely
enjoy watching. [chuckles]
[Lisa] Do you see Eric without
his shirt on swinging that thing?
[Stephen] If he wants to showcase
his groundskeeper skills,
I have no problem delegating
duties specifically for him
because that's what a real
chateau manager does.
Eric, dear, can you go look
at the toilet in La Rose?
[Eric laughs loudly]
Shut up. Is this a joke?
This what my life has come to.
What the [bleep]?
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
[light, upbeat music playing]
The new guests are arriving
and there's so many
different components that
need to go exactly right.
Hannah needs to get
along with Nikki.
Marciano needs to avoid Nikki.
Eric needs to avoid the guests.
And Stephen needs to step it up
with his new responsibilities.
What could possibly go wrong?
Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle,
[Michelle] Thank
you so much. Hi!
Please have a
glass of champagne.
This chateau, it's absolutely
picturesque and beautiful.
-Oh my gosh, this is
-[guest] It looks beautiful.
[Michelle] so Villa Blanca.
Oh gosh, yeah.
Would you like to
go with Stephen?
-[Michelle] Yes!
-[Stephen] Come on over.
I always love taking
a new challenge.
So being told that I get to
check the guests in today
is super exciting for me.
And I hope you're excited.
Okay, I'm super pumped.
We have some pre-dinner
cocktails at our bar
around the corner here at 7:15.
At 7:30 is gonna be
tonight's event.
It's a Côte d'Azur dinner.
-[Michelle] Ooh!
-[guest] Okay.
And then just a little night cap
at the end on the terrace.
-Oh, my God.
-Sounds so much fun.
-Yeah, I got this.
-[bell dings]
-[dramatic music playing]
-[Marciano] Like that, there you go.
-How do you know everyone?
-[Michelle] Have you been here long?
I actually just got here.
So, I'm, like, experiencing this
a little bit with you guys
because everyone else
has been here
kind of from the beginning
except for me.
-Yeah. So we're-we're excited together.
-We welcomed her with open arms.
-She's one of us now.
-Yeah, yes.
Don't get me wrong,
Nikki is still annoying,
talks a lot, conceited, says
off-the-wall shit a lot.
But Lisa was right, I didn't
give her a fair chance.
We're all different
and I'm sure
I annoy a lot of people
in this house,
so I'm gonna give Nikki
a fair chance.
How are you feeling?
-Good. I'm just trying to like
-I know it's a lot at first.
I'm just, like, standing on kind
of, like, observing, you know?
[Stephen] Do you know how to play it?
It's all mind games.
-[Hannah] I'm good at that.
-[Stephen laughs]
[upbeat classical
music playing]
It's the guests' first dinner
and the theme tonight
is Côte d'Azur.
The beautiful blue coast.
And it's also Nikki's
first dinner serving
and who knows what will happen
with Hannah and Marciano.
So, Stephen is going to have
a lot of pressure on him.
Trial and error, one might say.
I'm ready for the trial
but maybe not the error.
[phone ringing]
[Stephen] Stephen speaking,
how may I assist you?
Your toilet stop flushing?
Eric? Oh, Eric!
The toilet doesn't work again?
[Stephen] The Fleur-de-lis
in the main room. The toilet.
-What the [bleep]?
-[Stephen] Last night I was at La Rose.
I am really stressed,
but this is my version of
what makes me happy.
Alright, it's cool. I know
how to plumb in a suit as well.
You have a toilet clog?
I will unclog that toilet.
You need a barber?
I'll cut your [bleep]. You
Whatever we see in there,
we don't tell anyone.
[Grace] Okay.
[Eric] Stephen.
Stephen, if you think
this is gonna be
[bleep] easy for you, it's not.
I'm gonna let him drown
in deep, deep water.
[toilet flushing]
Okay. Okay, we got it,
we got it.
[Stephen] I'm missing
one water glass.
Tonight we've got this
Côte d'Azur dinner,
but right now I'm
really, really frustrated
because it doesn't feel like
I've been working
with a team lately
and it's just putting
me on edge.
[Hannah laughing]
-[intense music playing]
-[Stephen] It's important to show Lisa
that I am deserving of the position
she's bestowed upon me.
But being the chateau manager,
it is very stressful.
I don't know what to do ♪
[thrilling music playing]
Thirty, flirty and thriving.
Baby's Breath! Cheers.
-[glasses clink]
-[Hannah] Welcome.
Wow, this is, like,
the nicest table.
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna cry.
-Thanks, Lisa!
-Cheers to you, darling.
You all look beautiful.
-[guests] Cheers.
-[music finishes]
Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle.
So tonight, we start the
dinner with amuse-bouche,
like, ossetra caviar and some
crème fraîche from Normandy.
After that we'll have, like,
a carpaccio of sea bass.
We go on to truffle
from Périgord and pasta
and we finish with the
croquembouche. Bon appetit.
-[excited chatter]
[mischievous music playing]
You just can't keep your
hands off of me, can you?
[Telly] Oh my gosh,
you guys are [bleep] idiots.
[Andre/Gabriella laugh]
You guys know I heard
you having sex?
I was standing there, and I thought it was
the new girl crying.
All I hear is
[hands slapping]
That's literally all I
And I was like, "What is"
-No. [shushes]
-I was like, "What is that?"
I was like, "What is that?"
Andre is 100% my big brother.
Gabriella has been trying
to get with Dre
since the day we walked
into the Chateau.
And that's before I knew
she was a super freak.
Listen, literally you could hear it from
you could hear it from outside.
That's disgusting. [shudders]
The thought of, like,
anything sexual with Andre
kinda makes me cringe.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom
and throw up, thanks a lot.
-Oh, my God!
-I know, my gosh!
-[Stephen] Cocktail?
-[Marciano] Cocktail?
After dinner, just
to get the evening going
and have some more fun,
we've got some beautiful
cocktails coming.
[Marciano] Here we go. New cocktail:
dragon fruit margaritas, skinny.
[Michelle] Oh my gosh.
-[guests] Cheers.
-[glasses clink]
[Stephen] Everything's
just going perfectly.
This proves Eric should be focusing on
the tasks at hand,
like fixing toilets.
-Now we're off the clock! Yes!
-Look at that outfit change.
-I love this. Hot.
-We're off. Oh, hi.
-[Nikki] I'm jealous.
-You should change.
[Nikki] Did you just
get in yesterday?
[guest] I just got in
yesterday, yeah.
Had a little bit of
a luggage issue.
[Nikki] Oh no.
-My whole luggage was like, underwater.
-Oh no.
-Wait. What?
-[Nikki] [gasps] What?
-Yeah, I lost all my clothes.
-[Caroline] Oh, my God.
[guest] And then this morning I wake up,
now I'm just crying from anxiety.
I'm like, "What do we do?"
I get it. I cried my
first night here.
[dramatic music playing]
-I blamed it on jet lag.
What the [bleep]?
I'm shocked right now
on what Nikki's even saying.
Why do we keep bringing
up the same thing?
-Oh, are you taking me to
-We're just
I want to be open to
these girls liking me.
I would like to be
a girl's girl,
but I can play the game as well.
-Were you taking shots?
-No, I was just waiting.
[sighs] Service here,
it's just
-I know, I know.
-I know. [laughs]
I can play nice,
but secretly I'm
[bleep] watching what
you're doing too.
Hey boss, am I allowed
to change?
Yeah, why not?
Technically, he's the lead
[tense violin music playing]
-[Marciano] Yeah.
-and I'm the follower.
Nikki is so annoying.
I don't know if I have the
willpower not to be a bitch
and say something.
-[dramatic crescendo]
[upbeat music playing]
[sheep bleats]
-[Caroline] Ready?
-[Emily] Ready.
[Caroline] Let's go!
[Emily laughs]
[Emily] Oh, I'm so good
on that bike.
I've gotten so good. I lit
I wanna build a ramp
and I wanna go,
[mimics whooshes]
like off the ramp.
Oh shit! [chuckles]
I already broke two
of the bikes.
I'm on my third bike. [chuckles]
This way. Ah!
-Oh shit!
[Eric] Tonight, there's
a gothic gala
and funeral for
Michelle's twenties.
and Stephen is the lead.
I am so relieved
that I don't have to
remember everybody's name,
the rooms that they go to,
the itineraries, the theater.
Stephen, good luck.
[plucky music playing]
I need a masculine energy.
I pulled off my first dinner
because I'm a badass
who's been in this industry
nonstop for years.
It's just been a busy time.
So I'm going to take a minute
and cuddle up to
a nice, cute guy
with my hands on his abs.
Do you have constructive
criticism for me?
[Eric] You know what I've learned
the biggest lesson here is?
-Sometimes, you just have to listen.
And if you listen,
you, like, learn.
[Nikki] Yeah, but sometimes you
just say outlandish things and
-[Eric] Oh yeah, for sure.
-you need a little, I don't know,
-spank on the bottom or something.
[both laugh]
Hannah has still not apologized.
-I'm just, like, laughing in my head.
I'm like, "Do you know
how many veins
are popping out of
your head right now?"
It's like, not a good look.
Just [bleep] bullshit.
If it's just jealousy,
then that's something a
little bit out of my control.
But it just seemed so
out of the blue.
I am just sick of
the straight up
bully mentality at this point.
It would be so cute
if we fall asleep like this,
and everyone finds us.
[Caroline] Woo-hoo.
[Eric] I've never
seen them riding their bike
in the backyard before.
Why are they riding a
bike in the backyard?
[Nikki] It's really hard to ride
a bike over acorns and stuff
-like, bum, buh-da-dum.
-[Eric/Nikki laugh]
I'm definitely not impressed
by Nikki.
I feel like she's here
to stir the pot
and kind of creating drama.
Now she's, like, flirting
with Eric.
You don't even know the guy,
you're already cuddling?
Is that the way you wanna
go on the second day,
three days that you're
meeting a new staff member?
I don't understand
what's going on
in the Chateau.
That shit pisses me off.
I think Eric is a great person.
I think he has a beautiful heart
but he's trying to be
friend with everyone.
You wonder really,
what is his goal?
Everything is curated,
fake shit,
and I'll be damned if I keep putting my
real emotion into fake shit.
I like Eric a lot
and now he's laying
with someone he's
talked to three times.
So, I don't know, it's weird.
I wanna talk to him
more for sure.
[Stephen] I have been tasked
with quite a bit today.
We're setting up not
only Rosé Pong,
but then I have to focus
on tonight's event:
Michelle's 30th birthday.
[Michelle] Oh my gosh,
this is so luxe.
-[Stephen] Alright everybody,
welcome to Rosé Pong.
Today's gonna be a bit
of a tournament style,
so we're gonna split
into groups of two.
The winners of the
first round will face off
for the bottle of rosé.
The losers get to jump
in the pool fully clothed.
If you lose, you're
gettin' wet. Uh-oh!
-Are you ready to win?
-[Michelle] Yes.
[chill music playing]
[group cheering]
-[guests gasp]
-[guest 1] I love you.
[guest 2] Marciano,
you're drinking this one.
[guest 3]
We're winning!
-Oh, yes!
-[Marciano] Oh, my God.
We won, we won ♪
[Stephen] So, we definitely
have two going into
the pool for sure.
[group exclaim]
[people cheering]
[group whooping]
[mischievous music playing]
Marciano. I only have
one concern.
What concern is that?
All of you are soaked and lunch
hasn't even been served yet.
[Marciano] I've known Stephen
for four years,
so I knew who he
was as a person.
Let me go get some fresh waters.
He has a big heart and, like,
he wants to make things happen
for Lisa and for himself. But
Get in!
[loud splash]
I love partying
with the guests.
-Love it.
-[Lisa] Hey, how is it?
-They're having a blast.
-It's my servers I'm concerned about.
'Cause I've been serving
and running around
back and forth while
they jump in the pool.
Well then, you've got
to tell them that.
[Stephen] How do I tell
my servers I need you to serve
and not jump in pools?
[Lisa] You just say,
"Hey I need a hand."
[Stephen] [scoffs] And they don't
want to give me a hand
and then I get accused of being bossy.
So then I do it all myself.
-You know how to deal with it, come on.
-I do know how to deal with it,
-but that's why I'm in a sweat.
-Just say, "Get out the pool, get dry."
-Alright. I'll see you in a minute.
-Alright, let me go get
this next event started.
[Lisa] Stephen's always
in his own head
questioning himself.
You seem to be overwhelmed.
Managing the Chateau is
quite a big responsibility.
And he's gotta have his eyes
and his hands everywhere.
Well, not everywhere,
but he's gotta be on the ball
and if he doesn't, I'm not
putting him in charge again.
[upbeat music playing]
[Stephen] Cover it up, take the
white out and replace.
Shirt off, guns out.
How are we feeling?
Good. [chuckles]
[Hannah] Nikki, can I
talk to you privately?
-Yeah, of course.
-[Hannah] Thank you.
The talk with Lisa kind of
made me look at things
a little bit differently
and see, like, "Yeah you
are being a raging bitch."
I just wanna, like,
come at you like,
come to you about something.
[Nikki] You're like,
"I just wanna come at you."
-No. Not at you.
-What would you like to come at me
-You just almost said that though.
-No, I know.
I'm going back to bitch mode.
Last night I was, like,
a little offended
by what you kind of said
in front of the guests.
Like, "I cried on my first night
and I blamed it on jet lag,
but I really wasn't crying
for that reason,"
'cause I thought you
and I squashed that.
Like, you don't know me.
-[intense music playing]
-You're all brand new to me as well.
So, it's more likely things are coming
from my own experience
more than any of your
effect on my life
-in the past 48 hours.
-Totally get it. I totally get it.
I'm really trying just to,
like, be nice.
I don't wanna keep hashing this out
'cause we have a job to do.
But that's all I wanted
to say. I'm over it.
[Nikki] Of course, yeah.
I apologize for that.
But the first night
it takes two to tango.
I wasn't the only person
involved in that argument.
Are Do you ha
Do you take no responsibility
for the fight that we had?
I mean, I was
the catalyst of the fight,
but I apologize.
-So I just wanna squash it
-move on, work together.
-Okay? Okay.
-Yeah, yeah. Okay.
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
I'm sorry if I hurt your
feelings. I am.
I think subconsciously
Hannah knows
she's a little bit
of the bad guy
and she has moments where
she wants to rectify herself,
but I'm pretty sure everyone
can see through it.
[both laughing]
[sighs] For [bleep] sake.
[gentle music playing]
[Stephen] Tonight, we
are setting up our first ever
funeral at Chateau Rosabelle.
The staff coming together
in all black.
Marciano in goth uniform:
eyeliner, emo hair.
It's just a vision of my
preteen and teenage years.
-[music intensifies]
-[Hannah] It's an end of an era.
Stepping into a new chapter
of your life.
I think I would do it
and maybe cleanse my soul,
which I need to do.
[Stephen] It's a lot of pressure,
it's a lot of work
and I'm just physically
I'm gonna have you run the
show tonight. See how you do.
I'll be, like, your back server.
I'll help you, like, clear plates.
Get ready for the next course,
bring out food.
First dinner, Nikki
didn't really do anything.
So, Nikki is gonna be
a "lead" tonight.
I was telling her
she's in charge
so I could see actually
how she works.
Nikki's either gonna
sink or swim.
I would like to just see you
just get it done now.
I'm really intrigued
if Marciano actually
made anybody else immediately
walk in and be the lead.
Luckily, I am up for
the challenge.
[Marciano] Okay, we'll go over it
right now. Let's go outside.
[Stephen] Those were not
supposed to be made yet.
You were supposed to
have it ready to shake
so that you could run back
after the burial,
shake it, make it, garnish,
and then the servers
will take them out
on trays once
they're seated at dinner.
This cocktail was supposed
to be made, tray passed,
and surprising the guests
at their dinner table.
Are you mad?
I'm just [sighs] There's
no communication lately.
I'm not sure where this
lack of communication was,
but if I see a screw up,
I'm gonna call it out.
Like, stop putting everyone's else's
burdens on your shoulder.
Not everybody has
that mindset though.
That's not my mindset.
I'm not gonna change it.
Okay, I'm not gonna go
back and forth with you.
-You're gonna keep complaining
-It's not a matter of getting it.
It's a matter of my ethic
and the way I do things.
-Don't yell. Don't yell.
-But you can yell?
-Just chill.
-[Stephen] It's hard to chill
when everybody's coming
to me for things.
I'm not gonna smile
and fake it either.
[Hannah] Guys, guys, guys, guys.
[tense music playing]
Stephen freaks out when
things aren't being done.
I'm literally watching him
like a freakin' thermometer
getting hotter and hotter
and hotter and hotter.
Chill. Sit on some ice.
-[Stephen] I'm sick.
I am running myself
physically into the ground
and I can't continue to do this.
All I'm thinking is, "You probably don't
deserve this job."
I feel very nauseous.
-[Stephen retches]
-[toilet flushes]
It's all coming up and
I gotta get away.
Are you okay?
I just threw everything
I've eaten today up.
[sighs] Where is he?
-I'm, like, shaking
-Here. Just sit.
Like, I'm just physically
sick right now.
[Lisa] What's going on?
[dramatic sting]
What's going on?
I was feeling physically sick.
I mean, I think part of it is,
like, the nerves.
One of the things you do is
you put too much
pressure on yourself
to make everything perfect.
[solemn music playing]
Listen to me, it's fine.
Stop. Stop. Okay?
Stephen has this
insecurity about him.
He was fired from a job once
and it's just resonated
so deeply.
It's okay to mess up.
It's okay to be emotional.
I know.
[lighter, upbeat
music playing]
But don't define your life by
one thing, Stephen, come on.
Or else, none of us
would ever get anywhere.
You're supposed to
fail sometimes.
And failure, when that happens,
you learn from it,
and you grow from it.
You know, we all make mistakes,
you know?
Look how many Hannah's made.
-[Stephen laughs]
Lisa's right.
It's important to not
just show Lisa
that I am deserving of the
position she's bestowed upon me,
but it's important to myself
to prove that I can do anything.
-[Hannah] Yes?
Thank you, darling,
for taking care of him.
That's the Hannah I want to see.
When Lisa acknowledges
me for helping Stephen,
I really hope that she's
starting to see a change in me.
Let me get dressed.
[dramatic funeral
music playing]
This gothic gala,
we have a bunch of her
belongings from her twenties.
I've had Eric dig out
a hole for her
so she can bury those items.
We're going dark [chuckles]
and I love it.
Thank you for joining us today
in putting Michelle's
twenties in her past.
Michael has a eulogy for us.
Following that, she will put
her belongings into this trunk
to put the twenties to rest.
"We gather here today
to say goodbye
"to Michelle's twenties.
Michelle is ready to
bury the past."
[solemn music playing]
To scantily clad dresses
and going out to the club
middle of the week.
[plucky music playing]
To no more tanning.
We only wear SPF.
[Lisa] I don't quite
understand this event,
but you know, hey,
it's up to them.
If that's what they want,
I'm here to facilitate it.
To no more Top Ramen anymore.
[carton clatters]
Wait, we're doing all
this for Ramen noodles?
Is this for real?
To love notes from exes.
[bleep] them.
But I think it's awesome.
I need to get rid of a
couple things in my life.
[Hannah] I definitely need to
start making the steps
and surrounding myself
with the best people
that I can learn from.
Let's celebrate!
[group cheering]
By the burial,
we have a very sexy,
gothic dinner.
We got Coq Au Vin tonight.
French traditional dish.
Welcome everyone.
Michelle's death to
your twenties. A party.
I started off on a
rough foot with everyone.
Aaron, you're gonna
get a full one.
Are you ready for,
like, a full one?
It is tequila and I know
you like tequila.
So, it's important for
me to really prove
I do deserve to be here.
And I earned my spot here.
If it's on the plate,
it's edible.
That's delicious.
Little bit of champagne?
-[Michelle] Ooh, yes!
-[Michael] Let's do it.
-Thank you Nikki. [chuckles]
-[Nikki] You're welcome. Of course.
[upbeat music playing]
-[Marciano] How are you feeling?
-Good. Stoked.
I think I killed it.
How do you think I did?
-[tense violin music playing]
-[guests chattering]
-You know, I know I did great, so
-[violin music stops]
[upbeat music resumes]
Uh you did good.
[Emily] No, I know. And that's
why I wanted to ask you.
'Cause if the answer was no,
I'm just gonna stop.
[chuckles] Like I'm
Not for nothing
[Eric] Listen, I'll just
tell you straight up.
I like you as a woman
Eric. It's like a weird, like,
cat-mouse game with him,
with every girl in the house.
And he always says a lot
without saying anything
at all. [chuckles]
-Listen, let me just tell you straight up.
Sometimes I'm-I'm very flirty
and it is what it is.
[mutters] I don't know.
I'm not gonna make a
big deal out of it.
[Emily] With Eric,
it's like, who knows?
So [smacks lips]
we'll see.
[thrilling music playing]
Holy balls, don't
drop this, Marciano.
[guests exclaiming]
Oh my gosh, thank you!
-[music softens]
Are you and Gabriella
gonna have sex tonight?
Excuse me?
-[plucky music playing]
What's up, Chef?
I asked if you and Gabriella
are gonna have sex tonight.
Okay, I'm leaving.
[Telly laughs]
[upbeat music playing]
How is it going?
[Stephen] It's going alright.
How are you?
-[guest] Good. Are you tired?
-Good. I'm so tired.
This has been a very
eye-opening experience for me
to finally be given
the opportunity
to showcase that
I can manage,
and I think that this was
a successful, uh, few days.
-[guest] You deserve some rest, babe.
-Thank you, dear.
I just hope that
I made Lisa proud.
-There you go. Shake that shit.
-[ice rattles]
[guest chattering]
Cheers to Michelle!
To wrap up Michelle's funeral
for her twenties,
I don't think the fun
and litness has to die.
So tonight, it's a hot,
glorious mess.
-[glasses clinking]
-[group cheering]
[group] [chanting]
David! David! David!
[people shouting, whooping]
[Nikki] With this group
of guests, I think
it's really important
I go above and beyond,
to make the guests
enjoy themselves
and get my name on
that comment card.
[excited chatter, shouting]
[intense music playing]
Have some respect, Nikki.
First you started the drama
with Hannah and Marciano,
then you cuddling with Eric
and now you're kissing
with a guest.
That's crossing the line.
I can tell she really
want the attention.
-[people shouting]
-[intense music continues]
[Marciano] Holy shit!
So, kissing a guest
makes you proud?
Nikki doesn't know
what she has done.
She is representing
Lisa Vanderpump,
and I don't think
it's professional.
You coming from fine dining,
and you kiss a guest
taking a shot?
I don't think it's right.
So don't play this game.
You act like a sweet and
then you act like a victim.
What is this?
-I'm asking you a question.
-I'm not the victim.
-I'm asking you a question.
-I took a shot out of this guy's mouth.
Why does it bother you?
It has nothing to [bleep] do with you.
Literally get the [bleep]
over yourself.
[dramatic crescendo]
The energy is just coming
from that she doesn't like me
and that's okay, but
it's just immature.
As a grown woman, I would
expect more from her.
This is not part of what I would do or
want my staff to do.
[Andre] He was trying to get
with her the whole night,
the-the day before that too.
This is all about Eric.
Caroline is definitely
jealous of Nikki.
We the one that volunteered
her to take the shot.
[Caroline] Okay, then cool,
then I'm stupid.
-I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm stupid.
-No, you're not stupid.
Yeah, you are stupid.
You're completely stupid and
you're making a fool of yourself.
I'm sorry, we come
from a different perspective
and a different world,
but this is not how it
works in my world.
I can't take this anymore.
[dramatic sting]
Next, on Vanderpump Villa
[Marciano] We're here to fulfill
every need for you tonight.
[group cheering]
Caroline, she's flirting
with Eric.
-So we got Emily over here.
-[bell dings]
-Then we have Caroline.
-[bell dings]
-Then we have Nikki.
-[bell dings]
Who's he gonna choose?
Telly's not feeling that well.
I genuinely think I would
make a better bartender than
someone else that's bartending
right now.
Telly, can I have
a word with you?
Emily is going to regret
trying to steal my job.
[dramatic sting]
[quirky music playing]
We have some sad news.
The donkey had his
nuts chopped off.
-So show some kindness.
-[staff murmur]
He was a frisky boy, though.
-[Lisa] Yeah.
-So maybe it was necessary.
Sometimes that's the
best thing you can do.
Chop the nuts off.
-Not just with a donkey.
-[Hannah laughs]
[donkey sadly braying]
Oh, it's okay.
I know.
[both crunching an apple]
I know how you feel.
[intriguing theme
music playing]
[music fades out]
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