Wabbit - A Looney Tunes Production (2016) s01e01 Episode Script

Buddha Bugs/Now and Zen

1 Going down the rabbit hole Where we're going no one knows Obstacles 'round every bend Let's see where the tunnel ends Go on, get! You strong and silent types.
Ha! That's the easiest heist I ever pulled! They don't say nothing.
And no one standing in my way.
Whoo-hoo! I'm rich! I'm the one percent! I'm in the I'm in the fog, that's what.
Oh, well, I suppose you're looking for a hand out.
Well, hands off.
Get a job, you hippie.
Ah, but, brudder, perhaps you have missed something.
For I possess the greatest treasure in the entire universe.
Wait, what? You best hand over that treasure right now.
I cannot just give it to you.
Why the heck not? One must make room for a treasure so vast.
Yeah, make room.
You're right.
How much room? Only when you give away everything, shall you receive such epic treasures.
Boy, that must be a lot of treasure.
All right, I'm in.
You stay right here.
Stupid rabbit.
Whoa! That's a long way down.
A prosperous journey begins with the first step.
You're right.
Well, let's get a-stepping.
Whoo-hoo! Money, money, money! Rich, rich, rich! Whoa! Expletive! Oh! Go on, Lucas.
Fry, free, Froo-Froo.
Good luck, Sam Junior! All right, everybody, you know the drill.
- But, Sam - You robbed us last week.
I ain't a-taking, I'm a-givin'.
Now, you, sir, get my canteen, coffee mug, a stuffed raccoon for you.
Mustache comb.
But I don't have a Thank you.
My bowling shirts, my boxer shorts You might want to wash those.
Aunt Sadie's spoon collection A dead bird.
All right, I did what you said.
I gave it all away.
Everything? Why, as sure as my name's Yosemite Sam! Ah, but Yosemite, one must also give away one's identity.
Ugh, for Pete's sake! Closed? "In observation of National Inconvenience Day.
" "We will not open until 2:00 p.
" Do I got to do everything myself? Well Sayonara.
Whoo-hoo! I got rid of my identity.
Oh, hi, Sam.
Oh, of course, it's the clothes that make the man.
All right, swami, I gave away my identity! Now tee up that treasure.
To receive such gifts, one must cleanse one's body and soul.
- A bath? - And Oh, there ain't a snowball's chance in I guess you do not desire such treasures.
Give me that.
Did you scrub behind the ears? All right, I'm back! And what is your name? I do not have one.
Then, you are now ready for the - Treasure? - No.
The final test.
Oh, for Pete's sake, I can't give away anything else! You must give away your anger.
Wha Anger! Why, you yellow-bellied, flea-bitten Treasure.
Cute, lovely, fluffy little guru, you.
You have passed.
What? I'm rich! I'm wealthy! I'm jumpin' around! Now, where's my treasure? But, brudder, you've had it all along.
Wait What? Where? For it is in the giving that you receive and now there is room for love in your heart.
But I don't want any of that! And now I've got nothing! Yet, you are rich, with inner peace! A prosperous journey begins with the first step.
But it's a doozy.
Time to bring a little culture into this neck of the woods.
What? Hey, what gives, Squeaks? Shouldn't you be out collecting nuts? Hold on there, nuts for brains.
Everybody knows you're not supposed to disturb ninjas while they're meditating.
It's common knowledge.
Squeaks, I thought you was talking about real Ninjas! You mean, you let these little pip squeaks give you the business? Ah, you're so cute, you little fellas, ain't ya? Run along now.
Okay, Squeaks, I now understand the nature of your problem.
How about we go with this? Hi-yah! Ah! Psst.
Hey, doc, over here.
Huh? Huh? You know, I'm not sure how long it's gonna take to fall to the center of the Earth.
But I think they're close though.
Hot! Hot! Hot! Ninjas? I think these guys are more like "singes.
" Get it? Singes? Not buying that one, huh? Well, they can't all be winners.
You have picked the wrong samurai to mess with! Whoa! A little help? Ah! It's like those acorns don't even faze him.
Whoa! Hey, uh, shouldn't you be out collecting nuts? And stay down if in ya know what's good for you! This'll throw 'em off the scent.
And just like that I'm up in smoke.
This is ridiculous.
It's called a getaway driver, not a wait around driver.
Finally, you yellow bellied Hey! You ain't the regular getaway driver! Who the heck are you? You want an answer or do you want to get out of here? Let's go, vermin! Drive me to the hideaway house.
First, you're gonna have to put on your seat belt.
Now! Okay, you're the boss, boss.
Ow! Is this it? This is a hospital.
Go! Oh! Ow! - Is this it? - That's a super market.
Go! Go! Go! Huh! Uh! Is this it? This is a library Oh! Go, go.
- Oh.
- Is this it? This is the Le Brea Tar pits! It's a shame what happened to these poor majestic critters.
Okay! Go! Go! Go! Oops! Went too far! Is this it? This is the bank! Wait! Go back.
Is this it? Oh, no! This is the police station.
Here, put this on.
Hey, how do I look? Like a sitting duck.
Everything all right over here? Yes, sir, Officers.
Just me and my baby boy on our way to a costume party.
There's a bank robber on the loose.
Let's be careful out there, okay? Hey, remember, no texting and driving.
Yes, sir, officers! Sheesh.
That was an ugly baby.
You fleepin' vermin! Just drive us to the hideout! Use your GPS if you have to.
- But the boys in blue said - Do it! Okay, you're the boss.
Now, let's see, which app does the driving directions again? Sorry, that's my music app.
Okay, what's the address of the hideout? Oh, we have to create an account for you.
Uh, what do you want your username to be? Ahhh! Is that "Ahhh" with six H's or seven? Okay, so now we put in the address, no traffic updates, fastest route possible.
And there That was easy.
Oh, I'm not feelin' so good.
Fresh air comin' up.
The loot! Got you! Oh! Uh-oh! You darn big eared galoot! When I get back down there, I'm a gonna I tried to tell you to wear your seat belt.
You! Should we go inside? Can't go in.
Not yet.
I gotta deactivates my booby traps.
Now let's see.
You haven't forgotten the code, have you? Of course not! Uh One, two, three, eh Four? One, two, three, four? Yeah.
Yeah that's it! You okay, doc? Yeah.
This nice, soft wall cushioned the blow.
Why don't you try your birthday? Why don't you shut your trap, rabbit? I can remember a 4-digit-code, I'm not some idiot.
- You okay, doc? - Yeah.
Luckily, these racks broke my fall And my back! Try your pant size.
Your mom's birthday! Your mom's pant size.
You seem like a factory settings guy.
Zero, zero, zero, zero.
Hey, give me that, you rasser frasser rabbit! I did it! I did it! I got away with the loot! It's mine! All mine! All This ain't my loot.
That ain't my bag.
Oh, come on! Whoo! I made it! I made it! Yeah, but, what about the loot? Oh, yeah.
Get in the car, rabbit.
Hey, Sam! Yeah, yeah! Into the hallway, third door on the left.
I got it.
It's safer in here, than it is out there.
- You got that right! - Huh? Hermosa Beach! My vacation begins Now? I knew I should've looked at this map app.
Well, it's not like this vacation could get any worse.
- Bigfoot! - Hey, lady! Wow! Look at all the snut! Snow, Bigfoot.
Gross! It's all around me.
Little help, lady? Bigfoot, I'm not a lady.
Little help, ma'am? Yeah, fine.
One, two Three! - Oh! Ouch! Cold, cold! - Relax! Snow is not gonna hurt you.
Bigfoot, you're right, it's snut, it's snut.
Oh, my back.
- Here, let me help.
- No, no.
You've touched enough.
So what're you doin' here? Well, I was playing follow the leader and I followed you out here.
Except, I wasn't playing.
Well, those white guys were.
- Who? - They were following me.
Prepare your weapons.
The Bigfoot should be in the area.
Those are the hash mags, Bigfoot.
They hunt you! We gotta get out of here! Okay.
- What're you lookin' for, lady? - Nothin'.
- You're lookin' for carrots? - No.
'Cause, if you're lookin' for carrots I'm not lookin' for carrots.
We've got much bigger problems than carrots right now.
Sir! Our sensors report Bigfoot's in the area.
Perfect! Prepare weapons and be on the lookout.
There he is! That's not a Bigfoot, Gary! That's a dog.
Now let's destroy that Bigfoot.
If you're lookin' for carrots We're not lookin' for carrots.
I got my carrots right here.
Hey! Give me those! Hmm.
Why do these carrots have red, dotty things all over them? Are they sick? Gary, you got the safety on! You better take cover, kid! Yep, they're sick.
Oh! The tree's sick too! This whole mountain's sick! We better get these bad carrots outta here! What are you doing? - That's my food! - No time to talk, lady! We've gotta moo Oh, brother.
I think Sasquatch went this way.
No, we're over here! Shh We gotta get out of here.
I can do that.
Wait, ooh Sorry, lady.
I was trying to catapult you over to that ridge.
I'll throw you instead.
No! Transport coming! No! I can try kicking you up there.
How about I try my left hand? How about you don't! - Whoo-hoo! - Hey.
What are you so cheery about? Well I just threw that lady up a mountain! Why not take the escalator over there? Thank you! Wait, what're we chasing again? What are you doing here? I took the escalator.
It's Sasquatch, get him! Hey, guys, just take the escalator! What are you Come on! We gotta keep climbin'.
- You want me to throw you? - No! Just, no! Whoo-hoo! I'm climbin' here.
Yay! - Whoo-hoo! - My son! The meaning of life is Make way for the lady.
Hi, lady! You lookin' for carrots? Sorry.
This does not look good.
Well, I got this.
We're toast.
Now, lady.
It sounds like you're getting cold feet.
I was right, huh! You ready, lady? Whee! - Yikes.
- Ow! - Having fun? - No! How do these guys keep finding us? Oh, no! I'm sick! Here, lady I want you to have that.
It's my good luck charm.
A tracking device? Now, you're really sick! I'm not sick.
What're you doing, you big oaf! Yeah, you definitely have a temper.
- Here.
Let me rub some snut on you.
- No.
Feelin' better? Hey, lady, I gotta go to the bathroom.
Lady? Lady, where'd you go? Let's just say I took care of a little business.
Number one or number two? Not that! The signal's coming from inside this cave.
Let's get him! Hey! Wait up!