Wabbit - A Looney Tunes Production (2016) s01e10 Episode Script

Wabbit's Best Friend/Annoying Ex-Boydfriend

1 Going down the rabbit hole Where we're going no one knows Obstacles 'round every bend Let's see where the tunnel ends Ready, set, 42, 17, hut-hut-hike! Ugh! All right, all right.
I'm comin'.
Lookin' for this? Well, that's that.
Come on, let's get back to the game.
All right, fellas.
One at a time.
You know I hate dog piles.
Wait, no! Someone needs a breath mint.
Okay, guys.
Leave me alone! Shelby, get over here! Oh, great, an animal lover.
Ready.
Set.
Chomp! Wait.
This is my spot.
Go on, go on.
My friend's tail.
Huh, there you go.
Uh, excuse me, but.
just who do you think you are? You're rather tall, that's who.
Hey, listen, skinny.
They call me - Ted? Bill? - No.
Nope.
- Michael? - No.
- Ugly Stick McGee? - Uh-uh.
- Smelly Belly Mossy? - Really? - Lefarticus? - No.
- Jack? - Yeah! Yeah, they call me Jack.
Oh! Well, nice to meet you, Jack.
- Bye now.
- Okay, bye! Hey, before you make any more joke-jokes, I'll let you in on something.
I don't like rabbits! I sense that.
Good! No one messes with Jack the Dog Trainer! More like Jack the Whipper.
Listen, I train dogs and I train 'em to chomp! And you're next, rabbit! Ready.
Set 42, 14, half a dozen, square root.
Ah Whoa, Shelby, not so high! 52, are you ready, Squeaks? Let's do it.
Size 12, 67, hike! Hmm, how about that? Whoo-hoo! Touchdown wins the game! And you get the game ball, kid.
Hey! Ready.
Set.
Chomp! Shelby! You are a bad dog, Shelby.
Bad dog! You're completely useless.
You call yourself an attack dog? You're no dog of mine.
I disown you! I never want to see you again.
So, that's how he wants it, huh? Squeaks, you ready? Howdy, folks! Sal Whoofington of Sal Whoofington Kennel.
The best used dogs in the Southwest.
If you're lookin' to trade for a newer model, then look no further, as Sal Whoofington's got acres and acres of new breeds for you.
Hey, is your current model not as reliable as she used to be? Mmm-hmm.
-Then why not try a fancy breed? - Give me a fair price.
- Mmm-mmm.
Weiner dog? They're really hot.
How 'bout a slightly used boxer? A Rottweiler hatchback, late model Doberman? - How about a pit bull? - A pit bull? - Now you're talking.
- Okay.
Squeaks.
Here.
Just sign on the dotten line.
That's a pit bull? Well, it's a pit bull, all right.
Not a lot of pit and that ain't no bull.
You follow? Here.
Take her on a test run.
What What? Test drive it for nine days.
Tell me what you think.
Y'all come back now, you hear? Another satisfied customer.
Oh, hey, Shelby.
Just one.
Come on.
We could still catch the fourth quarter.
I hate dog piles.
Bird dream.
I hate those.
It was Hey, birdboy.
Keep it down! I'm trying to sleep over here.
Chickadee nests in the old gum tree Beautiful queen of my heart is she I love Chickadee I love Chickadee Eh, you quack for me Sorry about that.
Now.
No, no, no beatboxing.
What is your problem? You don't get it, man.
I gotta get my Chickadee back.
Can't you just come back in the morning? No, I'm nocturnal.
That's just how I roll.
Then the only way I'm gonna get some sleep is if I help you get the girlfriend back? You'd do that for me? Really? What a nice gesture! Zip it, Romeo.
Where does the girl live? What? You know that bird brain? Yeah, he's my ex-boyfriend.
So what! Would you please just take him back so I can get some sleep? No! He's annoying and loud.
Beat it! Come, baby.
Give me another shot.
Harsh.
Nice shot, though.
You can keep him! He never brings me worms and he does this thing with his feathers.
Ugh! If I could just get rid of this guy.
She's dreamy, ain't she? Yeah, nice kid.
Shy.
So, what did she say? Does she miss me? Does she still love me? Does she wanna get back together? Well, she dropped a plant on you, so Yeah, a geranium.
My favorite flower.
Time to give her the full plumage.
Girls love guys with big feathers, right, huh? I'm definitely making progress.
This ain't getting into his little bird brain.
And now for the big finish.
Shake your tail feathers.
Have you thought about dating a pigeon? Pigeons are just rats with wings.
Hey, some of my best friends are rats.
Wait, is Squeaks a rat? I just need to show her I'm bird enough for her.
Hmph.
-Well, it looks like it's up to me.
You wanna show her you're worthy? - Yeah.
- Do some pushups.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
This is hard to do with wings, you know? Feh! Okay, you caught her attention.
Now, we got to show her how brave you are.
But how? Uh, you see that creepy cottage over there? I dare you to knock on that door.
Yeah, yeah.
Creepy cottage.
I got this.
Come in.
Oh, dear.
You're not that cat food delivery man.
He's four days late.
I'm sure he's fine.
Be honest, is there a cat on my tail? - So, what's next? - Let's see Strong, brave, but she's also got to see you're a good provider.
I got it! Bring her a worm.
But not just any worm The biggest worm you can find.
Yeah, great idea.
You got it.
Ah! Peace and quiet.
Yikes, nice guy.
Not so good at finding worms.
He did that for me? What can I say, he was a lovebird.
Oh, darling.
- Oh, baby.
- Told ya! I missed you so much.
Oh, true love.
It's so beautiful.
I got to get some sleep.
What now? It's our wedding song.
We want you to be the best man! Fine.
But I ain't comin' on the honeymoon.