Wayne (2019) s01e09 Episode Script


1 Fuck.
I'm fine.
It's gonna be okay.
Fuck out.
My fucking house, bitch! Fuck you.
Wait, wait, wait.
no! [YELLING.]
Excuse me.
You gonna kill yourself? No.
You gonna steal some shit? Yeah.
I gonna steal the goddamn pool water.
Why the hell does a community swimming pool need a security guard anyway? So kids don't break in and kill themselves or steal some shit.
Yeah, well, you don't gotta worry about that.
You must be having one shitty night if this is the best place you could find.
Shitty couple of years, but who's counting? [SIGHS.]
If you grab some of them foam kick boards and towels over there, there's a really good place for you to sleep off whatever mess you're in.
Keep your mitts off the pool chemicals and your ass on dry land.
I don't need to be rescuing nobody in my good chinos.
You hear me? [SNIFFLES.]
Morning, coffee boy.
Oh, don't worry.
I got you a bowl, too.
Oh, shit.
Look at that.
It must be my lucky day.
No milk? [CRUNCHING.]
Don't do moo juice.
Hurts your tummy? You know it comes from cow titties, right? You scared of titties? Lactose intolerant, motherfucker.
So, it hurts your tummy.
So, you come all this way to eat my fucking cereal or 'cause you miss your momma or some shit? Or should I say, my momma.
MAUREEN: That stupid God.
Morning, Momma.
Uh, I made your coffee for you the way you like.
Uh, excuse me, but that alligator took a crap on my front lawn again, so just go clean that up, please.
I swear to God, Reggie's special needs.
You know, when he was a kid, we used to have to not take him to the beach no more 'cause all he would do is eat sand.
Just scoop after scoop.
Could hear it crunching in his teeth.
Like, disgusting.
That's why he's got gold teeth? MAUREEN: Nah.
He just likes looking like an asshole.
Oh, I put some clean towels in your room for you.
And I put a couple in for your girl.
Um She don't need none.
She's She's gone.
You ever take me to the beach? [SCOFFS.]
What are ya making? Oh.
So, I got my own candle business.
And, um, I sell them at swap meets.
I got erotic and non-erotic scents.
- They're the same, they just got different names.
- I like this one.
- Yeah? It smells like a tree.
Yes, this is the woodsy one.
I love it.
You got very good taste.
You know, I told Calvin that I need more space for my candles and whatever.
It's like Like a workspace, right? And he said, "Oh, no.
I need that extra bedroom for my man cave.
" Pfft! He got a flat screen TV last year, still sitting on the floor.
Man cave? Please.
Right? More like a goddamn junk cave.
You know, when you were a little baby, you wouldn't go to sleep unless I lit a candle in your room for you.
Really? Yeah.
You know, I know it's gonna sound like some kind of, um, I don't know, excuse or something, but I think things turned out the way they were supposed to.
With you You know, with your father and me coming here.
It's like Your daddy can be some kind of hellion.
Just, the boozing and the fighting, it's Ugh! So many neighbors would just, like, up and leave, 'cause Just after living near the guy too long.
I kid you not, more than once, leaving furniture and TVs behind just to get away from the son of a bitch quicker.
Oh, he had the honor thing, the code or whatever.
Just Right and wrong.
Just no grays, no middle.
Everything is black and white and he had all these ideas about how they should live and, you know, how I should be and what I could be and what I should be.
Lot of rules.
Hard to live with.
Hard to live with.
You know, you don't gotta treat someone like shit and make them feel bad.
Like, Calvin, he can be like Yeah, he could be like, whatever, but He lets me be who I wanna be.
Do what I want.
Just so long as my ass don't get too big.
Take that.
Just keep it in your room or something.
Maybe you'll sleep better.
ORLANDO: Look, Zellwood! I win, bitch.
I didn't see any signs for Zellwood.
Yes, you did.
- You just passed it up.
- I didn't see any signs.
- Yes, you did.
- I didn't see any signs.
And if there was a sign, the GPS lady would've said it, and she didn't.
You didn't hear it because there's no service.
- What's the plan anyway, when we get to Ocala? - [SIGHS.]
How the hell do we find Wayne? I'm sure there'll be a trail of blood.
Man, you gotta think positive.
You know, I knew Wayne's mom back in the day.
She kept her name when she married Wayne's dad.
What was it? She was off.
I mean, she was She was really kind of scattered.
Great legs, though.
Please don't tell me you trying to hit Wayne's mom.
All right, don't worry.
She's not my type.
Then what type is your type? I only date, or better, want to date black women.
For real? You never dated a white woman before? Oh, no, thank you.
Is that racist? I think.
But it is a good racist, right? I gotta remember what her name was.
What was her name? The last name was something Irish.
McGuinness? - Whoa! Watch out for the dog! - [SCREAMS.]
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Where's the dog? Where's the dog? No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah, it's cool.
You don't have to worry about me, I'm good.
Not again! [SCREAMING.]
ORLANDO: I guess your airbags don't work, huh? What the fuck you doing? Anyone ask you to do that? No, but she asked you to and you didn't, so You see what that fucking kid did? The alligator shit on the neighbor's lawn again? No, the other fucking kid.
What? CALVIN: He hung up some shelves for your fucking candle crap [CHUCKLES.]
In my fucking TV room.
Oh, yeah? That's kinda sweet, huh? In my fucking TV room, Maureen.
You want me to ask him to hang your TV? [CHUCKLES.]
Jesus fucking Christ.
Don't you fuck with me.
I was just playing with you, Calvin.
He needs to go.
Come on, Cal Come on, he just got here.
Then what? Are you gonna fucking take care of the kid, Maureen? I was young then.
Things could be different now.
You gonna be a good little fucking mommy now? Bring him into the fucking house? Move him into my fucking TV room? I'm sorry, but, uh Regardless of how inconvenient this might be for you, he's still my fucking kid.
I pay the bills.
Your part-time candlewick fucking bullshit ain't enough to support you or him.
So, you got two fucking choices.
Get him the fuck out of here or you get the fuck out of here with him.
I'm goddamn cursed.
I'm on a mission to save Wayne.
Somebody should be saving him from me! Remember that scene in Terminator 2 when all the innocent kids are on the playground and then this nuclear bomb detonates into a wave of hellfire and just scorches everyone and everything into ash and skeletons? I'm the nuclear bomb in Terminator 2.
I got nothing left.
Hey, you got AAA? Nope.
That expired a long time ago.
COLE: Was that you? ORLANDO: Huh? That wasn't you? No, man.
Hey, doggy, doggy, doggy.
She was a nice girl And they loved her In the town She was a nice girl [INDISTINCT.]
But there always Is the kind of man Likes to teach a nice girl What he can It's time for you to go.
Thought we was friends.
You're skeeving out the moms.
The only thing worse than an angry white woman is an angry white woman with a baby.
I ain't losin' my job over this.
Come on, now, be cool.
I don't want to have to escort you from the premises.
Don't fucking touch me! Oh! You gotta go now.
But there always Is the kind of man Hey! Hey! Likes to teach a nice girl What he can Hey! Little girl! She was a nice girl Did you just piss in my motherfucking pool? I'll fuck you for this.
Too good For all the guys Wait till I catch you I heard all this pounding and I thought Reggie locked himself in the bathroom again.
Glad to see that somebody's actually doing some work around here.
What! Just tryin' to do my part.
Come on, this actually looks really good.
Wow, wow.
So, tomorrow's the, uh, third Thursday of the month, and I've got this big swap meet in Tampa that I gotta get ready for.
I could help you with it.
Oh, no, no.
No, no, it's okay.
It's okay.
You've done enough.
You've done so much around here.
Uh, I just gotta separate the erotic from the non-erotic.
What does "Nipple" smell like? Smells like peach.
You know, they're all just peach.
Yeah, I just, um I gotta find my ribbons.
You know, okay, and I gotta start loading up the car.
So, you know - Are you mad? - What? That I unpacked the candle stuff? No.
I'm not mad.
It's gotta, you know I just gotta get moving, is all.
When you comin' back? Yeah, um So, that's the thing.
When I go, you gotta go, too.
Did you You thought you was gonna like "stay here" stay here? Okay, yeah.
I mean, if it was my house, of course, sure.
But, you know, it's Calvin's, so I don't really have that kind of a say.
Plus, uh, I think you don't really wanna stay here, right? Uh [CHUCKLES.]
You know, I don't I don't make the decisions, honey.
Okay, sweetie? I don't make those decisions.
You shouldn't call me that no more.
Maybe you should've gone after that girl, huh? What do you care? You didn't even like her.
Should be best friends, though.
Seeing how you both like taking off on everybody.
I've thought a lot about what woulda happened, okay, if things had been different.
But your dad never came after me.
Maybe 'cause he didn't have a car.
Come on, Jesus! Oh, Wayne Come on, what are you doing? Stop it, please! It doesn't have to be like this.
Come on! Oh.
God damn it.
You know what? You're all fucking the same.
- You're all the same.
I got nothing to say to this.
I knew you was a fucking red-hander.
COLE: I'm tellin' ya.
This is a sign.
ORLANDO: Yeah, a sign you can't drive.
COLE: We're gonna find Wayne.
I can feel it.
I don't know if you've noticed, Orlando, but I have a tendency to see things in a generally hopeless and dreadful, "cup half-full of shit" type of way.
But gone are the days of my bread falling buttered-side down.
I feel like we're actually driving towards something.
Driving towards what? Car is holed up.
You know what I'm saying.
Moving towards something.
I think the dog feels it, too.
Ain't you, boy? What are you gonna name it? Is it gonna start with an "A" like all the other ones? No, I'm gonna try something different this time.
I like food names.
My brother's cat name is Fajita.
McNulty! That's Wayne's mom's name.
Maureen McNulty! - How could I forget that? - [CELL PHONE BEEPS.]
- Maureen McNulty.
- Maureen McNulty.
Ocala, Florida.
We gotta find a phone book.
What's a phone book? Seriously? It's the thing you use to find people.
Do you mean this? I already got her address.
And her Etsy.
Apparently, she makes sexy candles or some shit.
Oh, man.
We're gonna find you, Maureen.
Twenty-five dollars.
For what? Departure change fee.
I don't fucking have 25 bucks.
Neither do I.
Sucks, doesn't it? Next.
ORLANDO: I can call a lift right now.
But I doubt that they're gonna let that flea-infested dog in their car.
Well, if they don't, I'll just tell them it's my emotional-support animal, and if they still don't, I'll just fucking sue them for discrimination.
They can't, you know Del Luccetti? [SOBS.]
Okay, I got ya.
I got ya.
You're my fucking principal.
Yes, I am.
That's fucking weird.
You know how sick I am of hearing stories about your fucking dad? Your momma, she starts sucking on that box of wine and all the sudden it's the fucking Legend of Wayne McCullough hour.
What the fuck do I have to be jealous of? Hmm? She's up here givin' me that ass.
And he's, well, you know REGGIE: He ain't lying.
Our rooms are right next to each other.
All fucking night.
But if you think I need any more reminders of that piece of shit coming around here, fucking with my fucking TV room! Trying to jack my fucking ride.
Come here, coffee boy.
Oh, yeah.
Stop fucking moving.
Let's see how this fucking smells.
REGGIE: Ooh! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! [LAUGHS.]
Hold the fuck still! [LAUGHS.]
What the - What? - Who the fuck is that? This whole country's going to shit.
Don't go nowhere.
Whatever shit you're selling, I don't need it or I already got it.
Sergeant Geller.
Brockton Mass.
Police Department.
You're a long way from your shit-hole.
You must be Calvin Clay.
Two counts of felony vandalism to an RV.
Three counts of aggravated assault Several counts of public urination.
One at a yogurt shop.
They said my coupon was expired, so fuck 'em.
We're looking for a boy named Wayne McCullough.
Son of Maureen McCullough.
Your girlfriend.
She's the registered owner of a 1979 gold Trans Am.
That one.
I'm just fucking with you.
Wayne McCullough! I know that motherfucker.
Yeah, he's He's hanging around here somewhere.
- Reggie.
Whoo! Adios, motherfucker.
After you.
Get your boys.
And a car with a bigger trunk.
Thanks for the shirt.
All good.
I can't do this anymore.
The dog will eat the leftovers.
Fuck the dog.
I'll eat 'em.
I'm not talking about that.
I wanna go home.
Well, it's a free country, but I gotta save my boy.
And what? Bring him back to Brockton? There's nothin' there for him.
Yes, there is.
I mean, sure, he got kicked out of school, and his house burned down, and his dad is dead.
Burned up in that house that he burned down.
But he's got us.
Yes, he does.
He wants to be with his mom.
Look, Wayne's in danger.
Ya pops is all hopped up on vengeance.
And them crazy bat-swinging brothers of yours, well Don't worry.
As long as Wayne's with his ma, nobody's fucking with him.
That place is like a white trash fortress of meth-heads and crocodiles.
Nobody's getting in there.
He doesn't need us.
Any of us.
Can you just take me home? Please.
You're certain you want to do this, huh? Yeah, I wanna do this.
Well If we're really gonna do this No need to sully our Tommy Bahamas.
You're gonna fucking regret this, man.
Regret's a funny thing, isn't it? [CHUCKLES.]
You know, in the summer of '93, I taught English overseas in Thailand.
A place where I would unexpectedly fall in love.
His name was Anaruk.
It was a deep love, the likes of which I've never again experienced.
Unfortunately, that love would be taken for granted, as he set me up for a crime I did not commit.
A crime that cost me 817 days on Satan's Pillow, a brutal Thai prison.
Look, man, you had some queer experience in another country.
Big fucking deal.
I did time, too.
Lucky for you, not the kind I did.
In order to survive the horrors and the ultra-violence of a murder-hole like Klong Prem, you had to fight, oftentimes to the death.
It's there I learned my mantra, "To regret deeply is to live afresh.
" Thoreau.
So, unless you've had a change of heart, son, let's begin the unfortunates.
I got this.
All right.
Well, this is good.
We're doing the right thing.
Wayne found his mom.
We found you.
I found this little fuzzball.
We're all very lucky.
You know what? I'm gonna call you "Lucky.
Huh? I'm going to call you "Lucky.
" Well, Lucky looks like he's gotta lift his leg or something, so, I'm gonna pay this bill.
Come on, buddy.
Come on, Lucky.
Jury's still out on whether or not that's going to be lucky for Lucky.
He kills dogs.
It's a whole thing.
What's wrong? I wasn't thinking about him.
Shut up.
Sound like you are.
How'd you guys meet? Wayne.
I sold him some cookies.
Oh! So, you're "Cookies.
" Why'd you come all the way to this shit-hole? I didn't think Wayne had any friends.
Me and Wayne go way back.
I pissed off some dudes who were gonna break my arms.
But being a plan-hatching motherfucker, I hired the craziest dude in town to watch my back.
Shortly after that, he came to me to return the favor.
You know how to do computers? Wayne's just like a caveman when it comes to anything electronic.
He's like Encino Man.
Right? Anyways, let me tell you the story.
Wayne found this kid was being blackmailed with a video, so he came to me.
We found the guy pretty quick.
Went through all his shit to make sure the video was deleted for good.
It's gone from the Cloud, all his phones, laptops, everything.
We should be good to go.
No, please, no! [SOBBING.]
What the hell was on that video? Some girl's mother.
She was trying to put her shoe on, falling down, it's all fucked up.
High, drunk, cracked out Pretty sad shit, really.
Twenty bucks a week, bitch.
Or your ma goes viral.
Come on.
Pay up.
ORLANDO: Holy shit.
You're "Blackmail" and "Cookies"? Damn.
Wayne's been looking after you for, like, years.
My boy Wayne.
What did you do? I didn't do shit.
Fucker! [GRUNTING.]
Motherfucker! [GELLER STRAINING.]
CALVIN: No! Motherfucker! [GRUNTING.]
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Stay down.
I gave you a second chance.
You won't get a third.
You're under arrest.
DEL: Next on Wayne Are you kidding me? Where the fuck is he? You know, the son you abandoned? MAUREEN: He got arrested.
He's at the police station.
Florida police have agreed to transport you back to Brockton if you'll co-operate.
There ain't nothing there for me no more.
I'd like to get my 1979 Trans Am.
It is now impound evidence.
It's being shipped back to Brockton, Massachusetts.
- Go ahead, little pussycat.
Come on.
Whoa, whoa, man, those animals ain't trained.
People can get hurt.
Tell her you gotta push.
How? I don't know how to speak dog.
COLE: What's happening? Let's do this, bitch!
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