What/If (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

What Happened

1 [CAR HORN HONKING.]
[PANTING.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
[KEYS JINGLING.]
- Our wedding vase is broken? - Shit! Lisa.
Thought you were still at the office.
Fell off the dresser when I ran out to try to stop you from going through with whatever Anne had planned.
It's hard to believe how fast something so meaningful can shatter into a thousand pieces.
I've been calling and texting you for an hour.
Really? I Ah, the the phone's off.
I walked down to Benny's Tacos and picked up an extra blackened shrimp, if you're hungry.
I'm sorry, babe, I didn't mean to worry you.
And now, suddenly, I'm the kind of wife who uses GPS to track down her husband.
Wanna revise your story? [SIGHS.]
- It's not what you think.
- You can't imagine what I'm thinking.
I wanna know why you went back to her tonight.
Lie again and I'm sleeping at my parent's.
I can't tell you without breaking the contract.
The contract only covers what you two did last night.
It's all connected.
How convenient.
You know, I always thought we had a pretty solid sex life.
You must have really knocked old Anne Montgomery's Jimmy Choos off.
What did she do? Make you a separate offer too good to refuse? Did she put you on a retainer? Don't do this! The only reason I went over there tonight was to protect us.
Protect us from what? Right, you can't tell me.
You're acting like I'm the one who put that fucking NDA clause in that contract! We both jumped into this together, Lis, eyes wide open.
Then why am I the only one stuck in the dark? Because that's the way she designed it! And if you're already questioning whether or not you could really trust me [BOTH.]
Then we're never gonna make it.
[SIGHS.]
[KISS.]
Of course, we're gonna make it.
The only way we end up shattered is if we start fighting against each other instead of for each other.
That's how she sees herself winning this game.
Stealing your company from you.
I don't know if I have what it takes to stop her.
Sure you do.
She left a road map.
All you have to do is learn to think like she does.
And then what? And then do it better than her.
What do you feel like? A Greek god.
Dionysus.
What do you want for breakfast? I want what you want.
I thought I made that clear last night.
You can't put what happened last night all on me.
You have to take responsibility.
I'll take all the responsibility your guilty ass wants as long as you'll admit you had fun.
And don't lie, I saw it on your face multiple times.
So did Jesus.
Great.
So no I'm not just gay, I'm gay, slutty, and hell-bound.
What is it with you and these labels? Why can't you just be you? Labels are useful, especially when they're valid.
They're also limiting, divisive and stressful.
I don't like seeing the man I love beating himself up in the name of labels.
Though I will admit the reading one or two might be the only thing keeping you from whipping up a batch of horseradish and chocolate sauce omelets.
Mmm.
Just like Mom used to make.
Morning, box boy.
How'd you sleep? [GRUNTS, SIGHS.]
Not done yet.
- [SNICKERING.]
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
Oh, damn.
Early company conference.
Call later, sex machine.
Wait.
You're leaving me with him? You'll manage.
But how long should I let him stay? Long as it makes you happy.
You're welcome.
[SIGHS.]
If you ever wanna know what a bottomless glass of exquisite Cabernet combined with an unhealthy obsession for Anne Montgomery looks like, feast your eyes.
[SIGHS.]
I've seen worse.
Tell me I didn't talk to Anne or vomit on her shoes or anything.
I don't think she took much notice.
Oh, great.
If there's anything Anne can't stand more than incompetence, it's insignificance, which you seem to know, as you're highlighting every word in her book.
I'm looking for inspiration for a gift.
Don't give peanuts to an already bagged elephant.
What the hell does that even mean? If you're gonna show gratitude to your elephant, make her a shit-ton of money before she stomps you to death.
I plan to.
But right now, I need an excuse to see her in her element.
Why? You already have all her money.
[SIGHS.]
To send a message that I won't be easily intimidated.
Look at you.
Tell me my notes on the board candidates made sense and I didn't send you a bunch of wine-spackled gibberish.
Actually, all your pics were right in line with mine and Anne's, with one glaring exception.
Captain Charisma? Morning, ladies.
Who's ready to blow up a trillion dollar industry? Cassidy, say hello to Emigen Molecular Sequencing's new COO.
COO? I thought this one belonged to Anne.
[AVERY.]
This one belongs to the universe.
Anne's just someone the universe was kind enough to put me in front of on my path towards Lisa.
I'm gonna be sick.
Welcome, to Emigen officially.
Thank you.
And in honor of this incredible opportunity, I was hoping to steal you this morning and put together a transition plan.
I think I can be a real asset helping you navigate Anne's expectations going forward.
Great.
But how about we start with my expectations first? Of course.
I didn't mean to I made us a lunch reservation at Fleet Cafe.
Sophie will give you the details.
Until then Cassidy, can you catch Avery up to speed on how things are done here? And I'll find your workspace for you.
Where are you going? Elephant shopping.
[WHISTLE BLOWS.]
Listen up.
I'm Lieutenant Hall.
And for the next several months, you are no longer people.
You are potential.
Before this journey is over, half of you will fail to rise to it.
And the other half will be relying on each other for your very lives.
Take a moment to decide which description fits you.
Can I get a "Yes, Lieutenant"? [ALL.]
Yes, Lieutenant! I don't ever want you to forget that the trial ahead of you is entirely pass-fail.
Either you can hack it, or you can't.
- Donovan, Archer.
- [BOTH.]
Yes, Lieutenant! That same chief who skipped you directly into my academy past 38 other pieces of potential patiently waiting their turns in line, also gave me a very clear seek and destroy mission.
You think you might wanna go back to your private ambulance service at any point? I suggest you do it now.
Because I'm the one who decides if you make it through in one piece.
And I sure as shit don't care who you schmoozed, or if your face spent ten seconds on a forgotten baseball card.
Miss Montgomery is unaccustomed to surprise visits.
I'm afraid I can't guarantee how you'll be received.
I'll take my chances.
A trait you two appear to share.
Didn't expect to see you again so soon.
Thought getting an 80 million dollar company on its feet might take precedence over whatever this intrusion is all about.
I wanted to reset the dynamic between us.
So I did a deep dive into some of your old interviews, and I stumbled on a Fortune article where you mention an epiphany you had on the banks of the Zambezi River.
How nature's design, with all its beauty and savagery, inspired your business doctrine.
This scarf tells the story of the African wildlife that live and die on the banks of that river.
It's just a small token of gratitude.
It is small.
As it happens, I have a gift for you too.
Well Sean rushed out of here so quickly when you started calling last night, that he forgot his jacket.
I'd have had it dry-cleaned, but since you're here Thank you.
My husband tends to lose focus when he's pushed into doing unpleasant things he'd rather not.
Oh, he told you we were together? As a scientist, truth is my highest value.
Sean knows that, respects it.
He and I always tell each other everything.
With one significant exception, I assume.
Or is your true reason for being here to cede ownership of Emigen? Of course I'd prefer that to a ruse of some contrived gift.
None of your terms have been broken.
Our agreement's intact.
Well, if you didn't come here to get details about last night, I'm guessing it's that first one that's really gotten under those nibbled down nails of yours.
Remember, it's your husband who can't discuss it, not me.
If you have questions you want answered fire away.
I don't have any questions for you.
Just a civil request between business partners.
Stay the hell away from my husband.
So sorry I won't be able to join you and Avery for lunch today.
Fleet Cafe is one of my favorite budget lunch spots.
I do hope you'll make frequent use of your chosen COO's esteemed counsel.
[ANGELA.]
Sorry, Mr.
Willis.
If the keys don't come up by the end of the day, I'll just have to find another lock.
I'm sure Mr.
Willis has more important things to do.
Am I right? [CHUCKLES.]
Thank you anyway.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES.]
- He hates me.
- Mr.
Willis hates everyone.
It's classic malcontent syndrome.
Here you go.
Where did you find these? I've looked all over.
A guy came looking for you after you left work last night.
What guy? Joel, from Imaging.
Merry little fellow, little puppy dog eyes.
I got the distinct impression that he wanted to return them to you in person.
Yeah, must've dropped them while picking up a scan or something.
Guess so.
Too much cortisol can do strange things to the brain.
What does that mean? It means you're under a lot of stress.
And I'd like to help.
So how about I take you out to dinner tonight? - Out? - Mm-hmm.
Don't you think that's, um - a little ? - Risky? Look, don't be worried.
I don't wanna give up our secret just yet.
I know a perfect spot.
- Trust me.
- Okay.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- Dr.
Archer.
- Dr.
Evans.
[RAMONA.]
Move! Move! Move! [GRUNTING.]
[WHISTLE BLOWS.]
Off to the yard for hose drills, then lunch.
[GROANS.]
Man, your hand still bothering you? Ah, not too bad.
What gives? You can usually hang with me stride for stride.
Running on fumes.
Been a fucked up few days.
Still riding that rough patch with Lisa? Wow.
What is with all my people keeping secrets on me? I finally got Angela above board about the baby, now you're holding out? Come on, D.
I've known you since high school.
All right, you're the mister that tried to romance my sister, and she looks like me with a fried wig.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Holy shit, is that Maddie? The Maddie, bro? What the hell? She was serving drinks at the vineyard last night.
Wait, at Lisa's boss lady thing? - That is one hell of a coincidence.
- No.
No, it isn't.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
Play it on speaker.
[MADDIE.]
Hey, Donovan.
We need to meet up, today.
If you don't call me back in ten minutes, you leave me no choice, but to shred that Fortune 500 situation you've carved out for yourself.
I know you know what I'm talking about.
Clock's ticking.
Yo, that's fucked up.
- Call her back.
- After hose drill.
After hose drills? If Maddie starts talking, that could mean serious trouble for the both of us.
And I, for one, did not come this far to have some junkie prom queen burn it all down.
Look, I'll tell Hall that you re-injured your hand and that you went to get it X-rayed over lunch.
Call the crazy bitch back D, now.
[RAMONA.]
Hustle up! [WHISTLE BLOWS.]
All right.
[PHONE LINE RINGING.]
Compliments of Miss Montgomery.
"You can't launch a ship without champagne.
" Thank you.
Should I just assume that everything I say goes directly back to her? I could save a lot of money on your salary if I just hired a hall monitor.
I did mention our lunch to Anne, but as your COO, my job is to make sure operations run flawlessly.
And in order to do that, I need direct lines of communication with both you and your investor.
I'm not a spy for Anne Montgomery, Lisa.
I'm your interpreter.
You're right about one thing.
[SIGHS.]
I don't speak Anne.
I've worked for people like her my entire career.
I speak Anne fluently.
And for what it's worth, I don't expect you to fully trust me until I've proven my value to you.
And how do you plan to do that? By making sure that Emigen's transition from a nearly bankrupt startup to a fully-funded biotech powerhouse goes as smoothly as possible.
And one way to ensure that is to alleviate any outside pressure that may be impeding your focus.
In particular financial pressure.
What's this? First check out of the new account.
That should pay back the loan you took out to keep the company afloat, plus back salary.
She authorized this? Might have taken a small nudge.
- Can I ask you a question? - Mm-hmm.
That's a lot of money for a college student to pull together.
- Where'd it come from? - Inheritance mostly.
Both my parents died when I was really little.
Can only imagine how proud they would have been today.
[LIONEL.]
Papi? In here.
Left the keys for this afternoon's open house.
What are you up to? Nothing? Why? You checking up on me? I'm more the "checking you out" than "checking in on you" guy.
[CHUCKLES.]
He still here? Left hours ago, fully clothed and with way more than his daily allowance of Vitamin C.
Manage to get anything done in his wake? Aside from gnawing off the clip of my pen absolutely nothing.
I keep replaying last night in my head.
Hmm.
Our boy's quite the adventurist.
It's not an easy thing to do on tips from dancing on a box.
You think he's a prostitute? [CHUCKLES.]
I think he's a mystery, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
You really don't care that my mind's been stuck in a Kevin loop all day? I've been thinking about him, too.
But not just him.
- You were there.
- What were we doing again? How much detail do you want? How much time do you have? Enough.
Give it your best shot.
All right.
Talk Kevin to me.
[CHUCKLES.]
You were on the bed and he was crawling up on you.
Mm-hmm.
[CHUCKLES.]
- And then you kissed me on the neck.
- Oh.
Ah, and then he wrapped his legs around you.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
[MOANING.]
[LISA.]
These are all my kids.
Now that you've joined the team, that makes you their protective uncle.
To be perfectly candid, you and those kids are the reason I'm here.
Big step towards trying to live a more authentic life.
Choate to Harvard, fancy job, designer suits, expensive address.
Seems pretty real to me.
I've been a walking cliché.
Fast cars and loose women? I did have an obscenely beautiful Icelandic fiancée for a minute.
What else? Extreme base jumping? Close.
Some guys I know talked me into climbing Kilimanjaro with them.
Half a dozen millennial millionaires slogging up a mountain to take selfies at 19,000 feet.
Insta or it didn't happen.
Exactly.
Canned enlightenment.
That's when I realized I was so busy curating this perfect life that I'd forgotten how to actually live it.
So I left.
You left? Walked straight down the mountain.
Didn't stop till I got to the airport.
When I got home, making money wasn't enough anymore.
I wanted to try making meaning instead.
Whenever you're ready, no rush.
My company, my treat.
Thanks to you, I can finally afford it.
You're the boss.
I'll call us a Lyft.
I'll be right back.
That was really something.
Seeing you and your wife caught up with all those heavy hitters last night.
Not that you don't know your way around a baseball metaphor.
What's this all about, Maddie? What do you think it's about? Look, you know I've always had a soft spot for you.
Yeah.
A hard one too.
That was a lifetime ago.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
I've worked hard to move on from the people we used to be, - both alone and as a couple.
- - And - Sean.
I don't want you back.
I want money.
How much? There's a number on the back.
I don't have that kind of money.
Your wife does.
Jesus, Maddie, what the hell happened to you? You used to be so Weak? You're not the only one with plans for the future, Sean.
So unless you want me to royally fuck yours and little Miss Einstein's up you'll figure it out.
Note that the last six quarters are all safely in line with global market projections, even with the fund's high rate of asset turnover.
And all our major moves for the year were quietly executed while the media focused on my latest book.
Nothing to see here, folks.
As per usual, Liam.
Can always count on a shiny object to distract the masses.
And who makes for a shinier object than Anne Montgomery? Hmm? I aim to please.
If there's nothing else Uh, there is.
I'm curious about your public show of interest in this nothing biotech startup, Emigen Molecular Sequencing.
My interest is strictly personal.
You have zero exposure.
Which is what has me curious.
Our strategic arrangement does not require me to notify you of every independent investment I make.
Without me, you would have no money to invest.
It's a dog of a company and it sticks out like a sore thumb.
Dump it.
There's too much at stake.
If the goal is not to raise eyebrows, me arbitrarily taking a wrecking ball to my own investment in a dog company is counterintuitive.
I assure you, my stake here is entirely short-term.
I'll hold you to that, Annie.
That's a precarious game of brinksmanship you're playing.
Liam is an expensively-dressed criminal.
Nothing more.
The fact that you're smarter than he is doesn't make him any less dangerous.
I know what I'm doing.
It's stunning.
One-of-a-kind.
It's painfully transparent.
I'm beginning to wonder if I've overestimated that girl's value.
Something Liam may well be wondering about you.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
[SEAN.]
Lieutenant say anything? Man, Hall's bullshit meter is finely-tuned.
I tried to sell it, but she seems the type who might want a note from the doctor.
I think we know one.
I'm on it.
- What happened with Maddie? - [SIGHS.]
If she said something, I need to know.
She wants 50 grand to stay quiet.
No! No! No! Son of a bitch! - How long did she give you? - Till tomorrow morning.
She taking it in installments? That's not how blackmail works.
Fuck, man.
I can't go to jail, I can't.
- I have a kid on the way.
- You're not going to jail.
She was gone by the time you got there.
And I sure as hell would never say anything to anybody.
What are you gonna do? [AVERY.]
Lisa? What's that? Your new executive contract with Montgomery.
I know, not nearly as fun as the check I dropped on you earlier, but a necessary evil.
No rush, just need you to sign and leave it on my desk when you go.
Yeah, sure.
Can I ask you a personal question? Sure.
That obscenely beautiful Icelandic fiancée you mentioned, why didn't it work between you two? Because the guy who asked her to marry him never came down from Kilimanjaro.
People always say change is good.
They never tell you how painful it can be.
Okay, here are the checks to pay back your family, signed and sealed.
Isn't that weekly dinner thing that you have at seven? Shit.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Hey, buddy, I am watching you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, Miss Montgomery.
What can I do for you? - [SIGHS.]
- [PHONE CHIMES.]
[INDISTINCT HOSPITAL ANNOUNCEMENT.]
- I'm right here.
- Jesus, Ian! What is the matter with you? I'm just having a little fun.
- Are you ? - [SIGHS.]
Why are you so jumpy? See if you can guess.
Okay, listen, I've just the thing that's gonna put your mind at ease.
What? Where are you taking me? It's a surprise.
[IAN CHUCKLES.]
[ANGELA CLEARS THROAT.]
Oh, wow, Ian.
Uh I hope you're hungry.
I may have gone a little overboard.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
I can't believe you did all this for me.
Oh, this? No, this is just a taste.
If I get the chance, you'll have this every minute of every day you decide to keep me around.
What is this song? My dad used to play me these old 45s from his parent's record collection, and this song stuck out for some reason.
Maybe it was because I knew I was gonna dance to it one day with you.
[ANGELA CHUCKLES.]
[IAN LAUGHS.]
Your mom says you've got some sort of surprise for us.
You pregnant? That answer your questions? Go set the table while I watch the pibil.
Sean is coming, yes? Your guess is as good as mine.
What's up? The bottom of this glass.
Ugh.
Your turn.
No, you're on your own.
I'm still recovering from last night.
Must have been a good one.
You haven't stopped smiling since I walked in the door.
Remember that game we played on my birthday? Would you have sex with someone while in a relationship with someone else? Lionel and I did it.
- What? - Oh, one of the best nights of my life.
You've only been living with each other for six months and you're already stepping out.
We stepped out together.
Well, technically, the go-go boy stepped in.
You can't invite a vampire in your front door and expect it not to sink its fangs into your relationship.
[PHONE RINGING.]
I see.
So you two are human.
What happened? Sean accidentally leave the toilet seat up? [SIGHS.]
Okay, none of my business.
Don't say anything about anything in front of Mom and Dad.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
- [GRUNTS.]
- [GLASS SHATTERS.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
I'm good.
Are you? What do you mean? You haven't said a word about how your talk went with Todd.
Well, I didn't do much talking.
Well, I know that's not because you don't have something to say.
Clearly, whatever he said didn't stop you from coming up here tonight.
So, guess I'm just a little confused.
That makes two of us.
Ian, I'm sorry.
Nobody should have to deal with anybody who's half in.
So if you want to end whatever this is between us and I'm not going anywhere without a fight.
This is real for me.
This is real for me, too.
But But Todd and I, we have a lot of history.
You know, he's a good man.
That doesn't make him the right man.
Look, Angela, I've never felt a connection like I feel with you emotionally physically Everything about being with you feels like I'm doing it for the first time.
Your mother raised a good man, Ian.
No, she didn't.
I never knew my mother.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry, I didn't know that.
It's fine.
It's not something I usually put out there unless I really trust someone.
Okay, well, did your mom, did she pass? Yes.
Quite painfully.
Sorry.
Ian? What are you doing? Life is not a spectator sport, Angela.
You have to be willing to do the scary things or why bother taking up the space you occupy? Okay, you made your point.
Get down, please.
You didn't drink your wine tonight.
And if I'm not mistaken, it's your favorite bottle.
You add to that your heightened emotional state, it doesn't take a medical degree to understand what's happening.
Is it mine or Todd's? I don't know.
I'm sorry.
I'm just curious why you felt like you couldn't share that with me.
I wasn't trying to hide anything from you.
I just don't I haven't figured out how I wanna handle it.
Well, that's entirely your prerogative.
I just want you to know that there is nothing that I wouldn't do for you or this baby if you should choose that path.
I've waited a long time for you, Angela.
And now that I found you I have no plans to lose you.
- Segundo, segundo.
- [LAUGHTER.]
Segundo, sí, segundo.
Mira, qué deliciosa la comida.
You need to add this to your regular menu.
Hipsters would pay through the nose for a taco this legit.
That's what I always say.
Cochinita Pibil takes too much time and effort.
We opened this place to make money, not to teach gringos taste.
Good thing I snuck in under the radar.
You know Papa printed out the Emigen announcement online? Already hung it by the counter.
No, he didn't.
We can't show off how brilliant our little nene is? - [CHUCKLES.]
- [MALENA.]
Amelia te quería tanto.
You built your company for Amelia.
You named it for her.
And she knows it.
She's an angel, watching over you.
She's watching over all of us.
[MALENA.]
Yeah.
- What's this? - It's the money you and Lionel lent us.
Plus a little return.
For you and Papi.
Mija, I'm so proud of you.
Look what the cat dragged in.
Sean, mijo, come and sit down.
Yeah, Sean, come on, sit down.
Tell everybody about your special day.
- Or maybe keep it to yourself.
- It does sound like a trap.
- Lisa, can I ? - Not here.
Go ahead, Sean, make up some lie about why you had a clandestine lunch date with your ex.
Or wait, let me guess, you can't tell me.
You have a confidentiality agreement with Maddie, too? I, I get what it looks like, but it's not what you think.
It's no coincidence that Maddie was at that winery, okay? Anne put her there.
We more or less established that on the ride home.
Are you asking me to believe that Anne put her in that cafe today, too? Did she force you to hold her hand? One night, Sean.
That was the agreement, one night! Yeah, and we were fucking stupid, and now it's too late! Not if you tell me what happened when you were alone with Anne, right here, right now.
If I break the contract we're in breach and all this shit was pointless.
Look around.
We're alone.
No Anne.
Nobody to ever hear what you say to me.
So just say it.
I can't.
[SIGHS.]
If I tell you what happened the truth, we won't come back from it.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Hi.
[AVERY.]
Sorry to do this, but you forgot to sign your contract before you ran out.
I'm outside La Cuchara if you have two minutes.
I'll be right there.
Lisa? Last night you told me to start thinking like Anne.
Careful what you wish for.
Sorry to intrude, but it seems Anne's working on a slightly different schedule.
Gave me a strict midnight deadline for all the transition paperwork.
So your last stop is Anne's? [SEAN.]
Lisa? - Are you two all right? - No.
Let's go.
[SEAN.]
Lisa, wait! Lisa? [SIGHS.]
[PHONE VIBRATING.]
I was expecting Avery.
He's waiting in the car.
I need to speak with you.
Alone.
Did you set me up to see Sean and his ex today? That would make me diabolical.
Is that what you think I am? - Diabolical? - Yes! Foster, our guest was just leaving.
What happened that night between you and Sean? What did you make him do? I didn't make him do anything.
He was here of his own free will.
- Sean was here because he loves me.
- So? What? You wanna know just how much? Or is there something else? Was it up against the bar or right here in front of the fire? Or is your curiosity piqued by how many Shut up! [LAUGHS.]
You need to go home.
[SIGHS.]
You're no use to anybody in this ungoverned state, least of all yourself.
I can't take you home if you won't tell me where you live.
I don't wanna go home.
You hungry? No.
You wanna get some air? I just wanna drive for a little while.
I can do that.
Speak or don't speak, but for God's sake, don't lurk.
Do I know everything there is to know? You'll have to narrow the parameters.
What really happened that night? With the boy? I executed a contract.
That's all you need to know.
Anything else? An observation.
The worst kind of victim is the one that chooses to create another.
Never thought I'd have to repeat that to you.
I am no one's victim.
My apologies.
Bring the car around.
I'll meet you downstairs.
Oh, it's, it's late.
Perhaps you should rest a bit.
Do exactly as I say.
[DOOR RATTLING.]
Lisa? Lisa? Come closer and see See into the trees Follow the girl While you can Closer and see See into the dark Just follow your eyes Just follow your eyes I hear her voice Calling my name The sound is deep In the dark I hear her voice And start to run Into the trees Into the trees [SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
[WHEEZING.]
[SOBS.]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING.]
[MUSIC FADES OUT.]