What If...? (2021) s02e02 Episode Script

What If... Peter Quill Attacked Earth's Mightiest Heroes?

PEGGY: Commander,
do you have eyes on the target?
PILOT: Barely. It's moving fast.
PEGGY: You are free to engage.
We cannot allow it
to enter U.S. airspace.
PILOT: Copy that. Weapons hot.
- Fire at will.
PILOT: Contact! The object's
hit. It's going down.
PEGGY: Where?
Waiting for a star to fall ♪
And carry your heart into my arms ♪
That's where you belong ♪
OFFICER: What the
Is that a kid?
Not just any kid, but Peter Quill.
A son of Earth and the stars
whose pain and loss
now threatens to destroy the very
world he once called home.
And the entire universe along with it.
It's more than a linear path.
It's a prism of endless possibility,
where a single choice
can branch out into infinite realities,
creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.
I am the Watcher.
I am your guide through
these vast new realities.
Follow me and ponder the question
"What if?"
Six months earlier,
the Ravagers were dispatched to abduct
Peter Quill from his home world.
But young Quill's captor couldn't
bring himself to turn him over
and chose to raise him as his own.
At least, that's how
the story often goes.
But in this universe, Yondu
never had his change of heart.
So he turned Peter over to his father,
the Celestial being known as Ego.
(CHUCKLES) Well, you won't be
needing these anymore, Peter.
Not when there's so much more
for you to play with.
called it the Expansion,
a long-held dream to remake
the universe in his image.
And with his son now at his side,
he had all the power he needed
to bring it to fruition.
PEGGY: Orbital Intelligence
has retraced his steps
across dozens of nearby solar systems,
all destroyed, consumed by
a wave of cosmic radiation
within 24 hours of his arrival.
And I thought my kid
was a pain in the ass.
Tony has spunk.
This kid has an entire nuclear arsenal
coursing through his veins.
HOWARD: With that kind of firepower,
I don't know that there's a person
on Earth who can stop him.
Not one person working
alone, but a team,
made up of the best
our little planet has to offer.
You forgetting we're
in the middle of a Cold War?
All that We Are the World garbage
doesn't really play outside of MTV.
This boy has already torn
through midtown Manhattan
in a matter of minutes, Howard.
At the rate he's going,
our planet won't last
a day. We need help.
Okay. Who's on our roster?
Um, there's no vegetable.
(SIGHS) The potato chips
are the vegetable.
And you're supposed to be a scientist?
And you're supposed
to like potato chips.
HOWARD: Hank, please don't hang up.
You know, for a genius, Stark,
you're pretty slow on the take.
Listen, if you don't wanna
talk to me, that's fine.
Just do one thing. Turn on the TV.
- What?
- Dad? You should see this.
REPORTER: Grand Central
Terminal and parts of Midtown.
The aircraft's occupant was seen
Send the plane.
HOWARD: One step ahead of you.
(SCOFFS) Typical.
Hey, honey. You wanna
go to work with Dad?
Whoa! This is where you work?
Used to work, sweetie. Not anymore.
This is so cool.
Things must be real bad
if they had the balls to call us in.
Foster. Great. Now
I know it's a disaster.
Always a pleasure. What's the matter?
Didn't wanna spring for a sitter?
You know damn well I don't have anyone
to leave her with, thanks to this place.
Let's save the fighting
for the battlefield, shall we?
Wow. Who's the guy in the armor?
PEGGY: King T'Chaka of
the African kingdom of Wakanda.
They don't typically involve themselves
in global affairs, but
- HOPE: Aliens?
- Yes, aliens.
Your Highness, it's a pleasure.
Your father was a great ally
to us during the war.
Yes, I understand he even donated
some Vibranium to your efforts.
We made a shield out of it
and lost it in the Arctic.
But other than that, things
turned out pretty well.
Hey, how'd the Commies snag an invite?
Gorbachev wanted the target contained
before he reaches Moscow.
So he sent the Winter Soldier,
the world's most deadly assassin.
(GASPS) It looks just like him,
Howard. Just like Bucky.
I'd heard the rumors.
But even if they're true, the man
we knew is long gone, Peg.
And we have bigger fish to fry.
Satellites indicate an alarming
rate of cosmic radiation
emanating from the hostile's path.
He's on the move, heading
towards Coney Island.
And if we don't get there
and take him out now,
the entire Eastern Seaboard won't be
inhabitable for the next half century.
Are we even gonna be able
to intercept him in time?
New York's a long way
from the Mojave Desert.
- Not in my ride.
- Dr. Wendy Lawson, U.S. Air Force.
She's spearheading our joint
research into the Tesseract.
That uniform doesn't
really look like air force.
It's not. It's Kree Starforce.
- What?
- Long story. I'll explain on the way.
- Great. We got a Cat Man.
Space Broad, Giant Man.
Silent But Deadly. Good to see you.
- And you're gonna be the crusty guy.
- I was just saying
Buckle up, Crusty. This bird's
kind of a kick in the pants.
This kid puts on quite a show.
Dunk a duck, win a prize!
Dunk a duck, win a prize!
BLACK PANTHER: From my perch,
he does not look all that threatening.
LAWSON: Looks can be deceiving,
Your Highness.
BILL: You'd think the leader
of a technological superpower
that masquerades as a Third World
country would appreciate that.
BLACK PANTHER: I see your point.
HANK: Lawson, how are we looking?
I'm at the crash site. Moving
in to secure the pod ship now.
Everybody in position?
Relax. I got the perimeter.
HANK: You've been juicing, Foster?
I seem to remember you
maxing out at 21 feet.
BILL: I made some adjustments, Hank.
I figured it's the end of the world.
Go big or go home.
BLACK PANTHER: If you two are
finished measuring your statures,
I have eyes on the target.
He appears to be enjoying
himself on this tilt-a-whirl.
LAWSON: If you can isolate the kid,
you should be able to trap
him in the photon grid.
HANK: You cover the trap.
I'll handle the boy.
BLACK PANTHER: Are you sure
you do not want any backup?
HANK: No. I'm great with kids.
- HANK: What's the matter, kid?
- What?
- HANK: Something bugging you?
BILL: Okay, show time. Panther,
get ready with that tranquilizer.
HANK: Luring him to your position now.
I'll rendezvous as soon as I can.
This tech's advanced. It's gonna
take me a minute to crack it.
BLACK PANTHER: Resistance will
only make this more difficult,
my young friend.
Well, that went poorly.
BILL: I got him.
(GASPS) Oh, no. No!
(GRUNTS) Whoa!
- Ha!
- (GRUNTS) Ahhh!
Little help here.
LAWSON: Pull back, Killer.
If the Cube in that jet blows,
there won't be a planet left to save.
- Thanks, big guy.
- Anytime.
Guys. Problem child, 12 o'clock.
- Oh, no!
BLACK PANTHER: Does anyone have a plan?
HANK: I've got a plan. Retreat.
BILL: Come on, people.
Okay, let's go.
Whoa! Aw, come on!
ALL: Whoa!
Who the hell is that guy?
Wow. Is it really you?
If you are referring to
your doom, then yes.
Bummer. I thought you were
the dude from Van Halen.
I'm Van what?
THOR: Jotunheim was the first to fall.
Asgard soon thereafter.
One by one, the armies
of the Nine Realms
perished at that boy's hands.
Until this realm, Earth,
was all that remained.
Well, surely, if you've
come all this way,
you must have a plan in mind?
The Celestial seedling.
Ego has used them to implant his essence
on planets across the universe.
I recovered Earth's on my way here
from a place called Missouri.
So that's how he's doing it.
He's consuming these planets.
The seedlings are the fuse of
Ego's Expansion,
a fuse that must be lit.
By the child. That is why he is here.
So, why don't we just shove this thing
down the garbage disposal?
Problem solved.
Wrong. The seedling is protected
by a veil of cosmic energy.
Only a being of Celestial
origin can penetrate it.
Well, lucky for us,
we have one in custody.
- So if you're lost and on your own ♪
You can never surrender ♪
And when the night is cold and dark ♪
- You can see (SCATS) light ♪
- To fight and ♪
You know it.
To never surrender ♪
To never ♪
Come on. (CHUCKLES)
Nope? Just me?
Kinda awkward.
Cool song, though. It's always
been one of my mom's favorites.
Or at least it was.
- My mom loved it too.
- That her Walkman?
It's just, you're holding
on to it pretty tight.
I know if I still had mine, I'd
probably be doing the same.
You know, you don't seem so bad,
given where you're from.
Hey, what's wrong with Missouri?
Missouri? My dad said you were an alien.
Dude, feed me a corn dog
and call me Springsteen,
because I was born in the U.S.A.
Why else do you think I'd fly
10,000 light-years to get here?
In a ship, by the way,
with no tape deck.
I'm just trying to get home.
Security breach
in the detainment facility.
Where are my particles?
And where's Hope?
And where's my key card?
And thank you, Dad.
- Whoa! That was crazy.
I noticed a bus stop about a mile out.
It should get you to
where you need to go.
And here. I want you to have this.
What? No way. This was your mom's.
Look, it's a long ride to Missouri,
and she'd be glad to know I'm sharing.
Thanks, Hope.
I owe you one.
HANK: Hope! Come on.
I think they're down here.
Oh! Hope. Thank God.
You okay, sweetie? Did he hurt you?
Hurt me? Peter? He's
a kid, like me, Dad.
I was just trying to help him get home.
- Home? Like his home world?
- No, like Missouri.
You guys are making a mistake.
Peter's not behind
all this. It's his dad.
He says he's, like, a weird
alien space god or something.
Yeah. Great. Blame the absentee father.
I get that enough from my own son.
HANK: Sweetie, we really
need to find your friend.
Did he say anything more specific
about where he might be headed?
THOR: This is taking too long.
I will find the boy and destroy
him and the seedling myself.
Hey, Lightning Boy, we kind of have
a team thing going on here.
And I have a duty thing going
on here, Mustache Man.
To see to it that the boy
submits to Asgardian justice.
Which entails what, exactly?
Eternal flagellation, impalement,
some light maiming.
You know, standard stuff.
We can't just let you take him.
We need to study him.
BUCKY: We need to kill him.
He's a threat, even
without the seedling.
Well, what do you know? He speaks.
And who would've thought?
He's advocating murder.
It's a bit on the nose, if you ask me.
Nevertheless, his logic is sound.
So long as the boy lives,
this planet will never be safe.
And is that not what
we're here to ensure?
That's right.
You're here to do the right thing.
And Peter deserves our help
as much as anyone.
You want me to tell you where he went?
Then you have to promise me
you'll help him.
You know that's what Mom would've done.
EGO: Peter.
Why can't he hear me?
Why can't I connect with my son?
COMPUTER: According to his ship's logs,
the vessel was compromised
by an enemy combatant before
sustaining catastrophic damage.
- EGO: Where?
- Earth.
Well, then I guess I'll have to finish
what he started myself.
Uh, Thunder Guy, is it
supposed to be doing this?
The seedling is awakening.
Its master nears.
We've got incoming. Another alien vessel
about to make landfall, right outside.
Oh, man.
Well, guess that's the dad.
The girl was right.
(SCOFFS) Wouldn't I love to have
that printed on a T-shirt.
We already have our hands full
with just one of these Celestials.
How the hell are we gonna take on two?
There is an ancient Wakandan proverb
from the days before our tribes united.
"One only wins a two-front war
by getting out of your enemy's way".
- Meaning?
- If you can't fight 'em both,
let 'em fight each other.
Lawson, tell me you
got eyes on that kid.
LAWSON: Picking up some cosmic radiation
that's definitely not of this world.
HOWARD: You find him, you
bring him in ready to suit up.
He may be our only hope
- of stopping dear old dad.
You really think a child is going to be
so willing to fight his own father?
- What?
You're not a parent, are you, Wendy?
You've taken something
from me. I'd like it back.
Not so long as there is breath
in my body. (GRUNTS)
For Asgard!
BILL: (SCOFFS) You got any
breath left in there, buddy?
Hand over the seedling
and this will all be over.
PEGGY: All this, meaning us? (SCOFFS)
Not gonna happen. So if
you've come to destroy us,
you're going to be leaving
here very disappointed.
Destroy you? No. No, no, no.
I've come to save you.
By growing and spreading.
Covering all that exists,
until every part of you is me.
You don't see that every day.
BILL: Great.
EGO: And if you will not
give us back what is ours
We will take it from you!
BILL: Let's dance.
PEGGY: Incoming!
- By Odin's beard!
- BILL: Oh, I gotta go bigger.
- Take him out!
We'll hold them off
for as long as we can,
but Ego's forces are coming.
You need to get that
seedling out of there.
Sounds like a job for
our resident Terminator.
Home Plate to Winter Soldier.
Do you copy?
- Winter Soldier, do you copy?
LAWSON: Okay, Hank, look.
I can use this gravitational
control to hold him down,
but I'll need you to subdue him.
We're dealing with
an 8-year-old here, Lawson.
We want him to help, we
have to make him want to.
BUCKY: The Americans
have located the target.
I'm Hank. Hope's dad.
She has told me a lot about you.
Everything that's happening,
it's not me, it's him.
He has this power to get inside my head.
BILL: What you got? What you
I can't (SCREAMS)
Come on. Let's go. Yeah!
I thought maybe if I came back
here, I wouldn't feel so alone.
But (SIGHS) without my mom,
it doesn't even feel like home anymore.
- Huh?
I intercepted your
handler's transmission.
It's just you and me, pal.
BUCKY: There is no me.
PEGGY: Fall back!
All units, all units, fall back!
I know how you feel, Peter.
Since we lost Hope's mom, our
home hasn't felt the same either.
And to be honest, neither have I.
The pain, the anger, the loneliness.
I know it can feel like you're
drowning in it, but I haven't,
and you don't have to either,
so long as you let the people
around you pull you out.
HOWARD: Bucky, when you see
that kid, all you see is a target.
But I see a future. The life he
can lead, the good he can do.
And I see it in you too.
BUCKY: You don't know me.
HOWARD: Steve Rogers did.
And the man he knew,
the friend he loved,
would never take that shot.
We've got a big problem.
Stark, are you seeing this?
Howard, you have hostiles inbound!
Peter, come back with us. Please.
- Come join our family.
Bucky, please.
Well, kid, what do you say?
HOWARD: Hank. Lawson.
Did you get the kid?
Yeah, we got him.
- HOWARD: We need him back here now.
- Roger that.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Fifty years later,
Captain America is still saving my ass.
the base has been compromised.
- Get out of there!
No! The seedling!
If someone doesn't stop that
seedling, we are done for!
- BLACK PANTHER: I can't break free.
- (GRUNTS) No!
BILL: We're not gonna make it.
- Someone must stop it.
- BILL: Oh, yeah!
- As if on cue, Wendy!
- Crusty, jump.
HANK: We got it! I hope
you're right about this, kid.
Peter. (CHUCKLES) You're alive!
And you Well, you seem to have
fallen in with the wrong crowd.
This is my home, Dad.
This is my mom's home. And
I can't just let you destroy it.
That's the mortal in you, Peter.
In time, though, you'll come
to understand everything dies.
Except us.
How could you say that?
My mother, you said you loved her.
And that I did.
But I knew if she were
to live, the Expansion,
the reason for our existence,
would never come to pass.
So I did what I had to do,
as you must now, Peter.
You killed my mother?
No, no, no, no. I get it. You're upset.
(CHUCKLES) But you know you don't
have the power to destroy me, Peter.
- You're right. But you do.
- Peter
And with this, a little bit of you
will always live inside of me.
(GRUNTS) Deep down,
I guess I've always known
you'd turn out to be a disappointment.
You are human after all.
Actually, old man, my mom
says I'm a Star-Lord.
EGO: Peter!
It's a recipe, Hank. You're
not splitting the atom.
To be honest, splitting the atom
is a lot more intuitive.
This American libation
is surprisingly delicious.
What do you call it?
Uh, light beer?
- (CHUCKLES) How exotic. Another!
- And this little chicky's name is Goose.
I thought maybe you kids
might like to have her.
- Thanks, but I'm more a dog guy.
- Peter, you don't say no to a free cat.
- Hey, any word on Silent But Deadly?
- He's in the wind.
- That mean we should lock our doors?
- I don't think so.
Something broke through
that day in Missouri.
The Winter Soldier may be out there,
but I'm pretty sure Bucky Barnes
is out there with him.
- BILL: Oh, that's funny.
- HOWARD: Yeah?
- HANK: In Asgard.
- BILL: Yeah, exactly.
T'CHAKA: Do you have similar pajamas?
- Or do you go to sleep in your armor?
- THOR: And 53 gods is good.
LAWSON: Okay, bucko.
Many, many thanks to all of you
for this fine victory banquet.
But I am afraid I must
bid thee farewell.
Come on. What about dessert?
Hank burnt a pie.
The boy may have destroyed
Ego's corporeal form,
but his planet still lives.
And the universe will not know peace
until I have avenged the ones we've lost.
So, what, Thunder brother? No invite?
Perhaps you forgot, Goldilocks,
we have sort of a team
thing going on here.
Then I suggest you suit up, team.
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