Wilfred s01e12 Episode Script
Sacrifice
Never underestimate the power of a dream.
Excuse me? The narrator.
Yeah.
He's dreaming.
Very challenging book.
I love Calvino.
Uh, I was gonna get it on Kindle but then people couldn't see how deep I am.
Okay.
Um, I'm Cinzia Pecerra.
Ryan Newman.
Ryan? Oh.
Do you mind? Sure.
Thank you.
So what does Ryan Newman do when he's not charming Italian women on the beach? Well, uh Until recently, uh, I was an attorney.
Mm-hm.
High-profile litigation, corner office, expense account.
Oh.
Sounds awful.
I'm going rollerblading right now.
Do you want to come with me? Well, what have we here? And what is that thing above them, with the mouth and eyes? This is Wilfred.
What? I speak Italian.
There's a lot you don't know about me, Ryan.
Okay.
I get my things and then we go, okay? Uh, you can't go with her.
You promised you'd pick up Jenna's dry-cleaning and be home by 2:00 for the cable guy.
You expect me to ditch a girl like that for dry-cleaning? We all have to make sacrifices, Ryan.
Like the story of Jesus Christ.
I'm sure the Roman soldiers wanted to hang out at the pantheon and stare at tits all day but they knew they had a duty to kill Jesus.
Uh, I'll take an eighth of the Walter Cronk for my, uh, tendonitis.
Yeah.
I'm on shrooms right now for my, uh, scraped knee.
A beautiful woman asked to spend the day with me and I said no.
Why? To pick up Jenna's dry-cleaning? Face it.
We both love Jenna.
And we live to protect and serve her.
I protect, you serve.
I don't live to serve her.
And I'm not sure spending your days watching gruesome cat deaths on YouTube counts as protecting Jenna.
I have eyes on Jenna at all times.
And when I'm not watching, Bear is.
Bear? That rancid teddy bear you hump? Cujo to Grizzly, I need a 20 on the Golden Fox.
Yes, but is she Where is she? Can you just Got a special today.
One of these free Tootsie Pop edibles with every purchase.
Well, why didn't you just say she was in the kitchen? Jesus.
I swear, the minute you take the dick out of Bear's mouth, it's like: There are my guys.
Hey, who am I pointing to? The new anchorfor the 12:00 News.
Ha, ha.
Wow.
Yeah, I start Monday.
Amazing.
Random security check.
Wilfred.
Wilfred.
Uh-oh.
Is that a small-caliber bullet? Oh.
Off.
Sorry.
He thinks he's protecting me.
Mr.
Goofy.
Thanks.
You did not have to do that.
No problem.
Hey, that's great news about your job.
What do you say we go for dinner I'm late for a production meeting.
You cool waiting for the cable guy? Of course.
I don't know what I would do without you.
Go for Cujo.
Yeah, I've got my eyes on her, Bear, she's just gone in the house.
No, I do not know where your Discman is.
This isn't the proper channel for this discussion.
Get your head in the game.
This is ridiculous.
Ryan.
Cinzia.
Ciao.
What are the odds? I guess it was just meant to be.
I've been watching you run up and down the beach forthe past half hour.
Well, I was just hoping that maybe we could spend some time together.
Come on, just stay here You're lucky you made it We already had this fight I will not have it twice This was the best day of my life.
Really? Ha, ha.
Seriously.
You know what I did yesterday? Mm-mm.
I unclogged my sister's drain I helped my neighbor hang a pot rack and I took Wilfred to get his ears cleaned.
Wow.
All these things that you are doing are basically for other people, right? What do you do for yourself? I mean life is too short.
I think you really have to do what makes you happy.
I wouldn't know where to start.
In three days I'll go to Capri which is a beautiful island in Italy.
And I have an uncle there who will let me use his sailboat.
Come with me.
That sounds wonderful.
See? But I can't.
Okay.
Then let us make the most of the short time we have left.
So this is more important than waiting for Jenna's cable guy? As we speak, Jenna is sitting at home with no Game Show Network, no MTV2, no Univision.
I'm furious, Ryan.
I'm sorry but for once in my life, I wanna take care of my needs first.
I think I can make that happen.
Ryan, focus.
Right now, there is a branch scraping against Jenna's window.
How's she going to get any sleep tonight if you don't prune it? Ah.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna Stop! Why? No, no.
Not you.
Cinzia Yeah? Let's do it.
Let's go to Italy.
Italy? You didn't ask me if you could go to Italy.
As of now, we're officially not speaking.
Wilfred, get Ah-ah! Ryan, you know that all I want is for you to be happy but you barely know this woman.
And what about that cute girl next door you're always talking about? Please tell me you didn't hear that.
Hear what? Ha.
Nothing.
Here's ten dollars.
I'm buying the unopened food processor I gave you last Christmas.
Okay? So, this is really happening, huh? This Cinzia must be amazing.
She is.
I just hope we can be as happy as you and Drew.
What's wrong? I'm sorry.
Uh, it's just that Well, I don't tell you enough, but you mean so much to me.
And I've never met anyone so kind and thoughtful.
And I'm going to miss you.
I'll miss you too.
But we know who's really gonna miss you.
Uh, Wilfred, come here.
He's been kind of mopey lately.
I know this sounds crazy but it's almost like he knows you're leaving.
Just so you know, I only came over here because Jenna called me.
Ugh, God, Wilfred pooped on your lawn.
There's symbolism in that poop, Ryan.
I'm sorry And some grass.
And half a slipper.
I'm gonna go clean it up.
No, no, wait.
That's dangerous.
There's dangerous bacteria in that poop.
Wilfred, get out of the way.
You shouldn't eat it.
Just because I'm leaving, it doesn't mean that we can't still be friends.
Friends? What, you thought we were actually? That is hilarious.
And a little embarrassing for you because I never really saw us like that.
How much forthis piece-of-shit flat-screen TV? You're selling the TV? That is the cornerstone of ourfriendship.
Wilfred.
Just before my tenth birthday my dad sent my mom away to the sanitarium.
All I wanted for that birthday was a magic set.
But you know what my dad gave me? A briefcase.
He said, "Ryan, no more nonsense.
" I spent my whole life trying to be who he wanted me to be because I was afraid he was gonna send me away too.
Wow.
That story is long.
And boring as shit.
The point is it's time to do what makes me happy.
Ryan, you're leaving behind everything you love for a girl you barely know.
And it just makes me wonder why.
What am I supposed to do? Stick around, and keep waiting hand and foot on a girl I can never have? Like some obedient little lap You were gonna say a "lap dog.
" That's what you think of me, isn't it? Just a silly dog who thinks his duties are far more important than they really are.
Wilfred.
Christ, what a bloody fool I've been.
Jenna doesn't need me anymore.
Maybe she never even did.
You know, I had dreams too, Ryan.
I wanted to herd sheep.
I I wanted to sniff out drugs for the DEA.
Or maybe I just wanted to go to Italy like you.
You never know.
You could to go to Italy Really? So you and yourwhore would take me? Uh Yes.
Yes, Ryan.
The answer's yes.
I will come with you.
Oh, Ryan.
Oh, Ryan, you're the best friend I ever had.
Ryan.
Ryan, check it out.
I've got a list of common Italian phrases you're gonna need to know.
Jeez, Wilfred, we don't even know if Jenna's going to let you go yet.
Why so negative? Someone needs a little attitude adjustment.
No, thanks.
Pot candy's way too intense for me.
I'm on the air in an hour, my hair looks terrible.
These Middle-Eastern names are impossible to pronounce.
To top it all off, the battery in my hybrid is dead.
What the shit? Relax.
I'll get my keys.
Ryan, ask her if I can go to Italy.
Are you sure? You do so much for me.
Of course.
We're friends.
Ask her, ask her, ask her.
Now is not a good time.
Is now a good time? How about now? Now? How about now, Ryan? What about now? Is it a good time now? How about now? Now? What about now? How about now? I don't know, Wilfred.
Jenna's life is going through some big changes.
I think she's gonna need you more than ever.
She'II be fine.
She'll probably have a team of highly trained security specialists around her at all times.
This is the noon news we're talking about.
Whoa.
You okay? I'm just a little light-headed.
The only thing I had to eat today was a piece of candy at your house.
House What candy? That word is weird.
House.
Wilfred, Jenna ate the Tootsie Pot.
No way, mate.
Jenna doesn't do drugs.
If she ate that, she'd be totally freaking out.
This is the News at Noon with Jenna Mueller Cal Fukazaki with sports and Bud Mitchell with the weather.
And action.
What? Good afternoon and welcome to the News at Noon.
Um, let's start with sports Ooh! Look at my mlc.
It's like a shiny little Ryan, I've got to save her.
Cal, you got to feel how soft my tits are Drew.
Come on in, Ryan-oceros.
I flew in right after Jenna told me what happened.
Undies on the face, undies on the face.
What a silly dog I am.
Wilfred, no.
What? You think you can do better than undies on the face? Jenna.
I just came over to see how you were doing.
How am I doing? They fired me.
They think I was on drugs.
I've never even had a speeding ticket.
Hey, you know what, babe? I bet you just had a mini stroke.
Yeah, I've seen newscasters get those on YouTube.
It's actually really funny.
I didn't have a stroke, Drew.
Jenna, look.
My earflipped inside out and I can't fix it.
Ugh.
Jeez.
Ha, ha.
Silly dog.
She wants to sue the station, but we can't afford a lawyer.
And I hope she just moves back to Wisconsin.
I, uh, asked her to marry me last night.
What'd she say? Well, she thinks I'm a total dick for asking at a time like this.
She's thinking about it.
I like my chances.
Fingers crossed.
Mm.
Ah.
Is that glass door open? Some dogs would think it was closed, but not a silly dog.
Jenna, look.
Son of a whore.
It was my fault, Ryan.
Why? Because she ate that pot candy? You couldn't know.
It was my job to know.
Ah.
I was too distracted by my own selfish needs.
I was wrong, Ryan.
Jenna still needs me.
It's my duty to protect her.
I guess Italy willjust have to wait for us.
Us? Ugh.
Well, yeah.
Jenna needs you too.
You're a lawyer, right? I can't.
I'm sorry.
You don't get it.
I ruined Jenna's life and there's nothing I can do to fix it.
You have to help her.
No, you don't get it.
Jenna's gonna marry Drew.
They can work it out.
She's not my problem anymore.
So, what, you're going to punish her just because your stupid little puppy dog crush is unrequited? She'll be fine.
If there's one thing Jenna's good at it's getting people to do things for her.
I've always had your best interests at heart.
And I've never asked for anything in return.
Except for a bunch of stuff.
Please, I'm asking you to make a sacrifice.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to Italy with Cinzia.
Sleep on it, Ryan.
Sleep on it.
Wilfred? Ryan Newman.
You stand accused of ditching out on the cable guy not coming up with anything better than undies on the face.
What is all this? And the gravest of all charges selfishly refusing to make a sacrifice for the one you love.
These charges are very serious.
They're very serious charges.
As forthe seriousness of these charges.
Well, they are very serious.
And they're charges.
What are you talking about? Mr.
Newman, it would be wise to let your counsel speak for you.
Bear? You could have represented yourself but you refused to be a lawyer again.
Why is that, Mr.
Newman? I don't want to get into that.
Who is the archeologist? That's in the past.
The witness will answer.
Who is the archeologist? I am.
Oh.
That's what they called you at yourfather's firm? Because you used to dig up dirt on the opposition? All right, I admit it.
What I did was completely unethical.
But I was only trying to please my father.
You wanna talk about ethics? Is it not unethical to desert the woman you love in her time of need? Me.
No, me.
Bro.
Please, I just wanna be happy.
How can you be happy knowing Jenna's life will be ruined if you abandon her? We all have to make sacrifices for the people we love.
It's time to make a choice.
What are you going to do? Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Please.
What are you going to do? Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Take care, huh? I guess we all have to make sacrifices.
Yes, we do.
I'm curious, Ryan.
What changed your mind? I had a dream.
Well, never underestimate the power of a dream.
Excuse me? The narrator.
Yeah.
He's dreaming.
Very challenging book.
I love Calvino.
Uh, I was gonna get it on Kindle but then people couldn't see how deep I am.
Okay.
Um, I'm Cinzia Pecerra.
Ryan Newman.
Ryan? Oh.
Do you mind? Sure.
Thank you.
So what does Ryan Newman do when he's not charming Italian women on the beach? Well, uh Until recently, uh, I was an attorney.
Mm-hm.
High-profile litigation, corner office, expense account.
Oh.
Sounds awful.
I'm going rollerblading right now.
Do you want to come with me? Well, what have we here? And what is that thing above them, with the mouth and eyes? This is Wilfred.
What? I speak Italian.
There's a lot you don't know about me, Ryan.
Okay.
I get my things and then we go, okay? Uh, you can't go with her.
You promised you'd pick up Jenna's dry-cleaning and be home by 2:00 for the cable guy.
You expect me to ditch a girl like that for dry-cleaning? We all have to make sacrifices, Ryan.
Like the story of Jesus Christ.
I'm sure the Roman soldiers wanted to hang out at the pantheon and stare at tits all day but they knew they had a duty to kill Jesus.
Uh, I'll take an eighth of the Walter Cronk for my, uh, tendonitis.
Yeah.
I'm on shrooms right now for my, uh, scraped knee.
A beautiful woman asked to spend the day with me and I said no.
Why? To pick up Jenna's dry-cleaning? Face it.
We both love Jenna.
And we live to protect and serve her.
I protect, you serve.
I don't live to serve her.
And I'm not sure spending your days watching gruesome cat deaths on YouTube counts as protecting Jenna.
I have eyes on Jenna at all times.
And when I'm not watching, Bear is.
Bear? That rancid teddy bear you hump? Cujo to Grizzly, I need a 20 on the Golden Fox.
Yes, but is she Where is she? Can you just Got a special today.
One of these free Tootsie Pop edibles with every purchase.
Well, why didn't you just say she was in the kitchen? Jesus.
I swear, the minute you take the dick out of Bear's mouth, it's like: There are my guys.
Hey, who am I pointing to? The new anchorfor the 12:00 News.
Ha, ha.
Wow.
Yeah, I start Monday.
Amazing.
Random security check.
Wilfred.
Wilfred.
Uh-oh.
Is that a small-caliber bullet? Oh.
Off.
Sorry.
He thinks he's protecting me.
Mr.
Goofy.
Thanks.
You did not have to do that.
No problem.
Hey, that's great news about your job.
What do you say we go for dinner I'm late for a production meeting.
You cool waiting for the cable guy? Of course.
I don't know what I would do without you.
Go for Cujo.
Yeah, I've got my eyes on her, Bear, she's just gone in the house.
No, I do not know where your Discman is.
This isn't the proper channel for this discussion.
Get your head in the game.
This is ridiculous.
Ryan.
Cinzia.
Ciao.
What are the odds? I guess it was just meant to be.
I've been watching you run up and down the beach forthe past half hour.
Well, I was just hoping that maybe we could spend some time together.
Come on, just stay here You're lucky you made it We already had this fight I will not have it twice This was the best day of my life.
Really? Ha, ha.
Seriously.
You know what I did yesterday? Mm-mm.
I unclogged my sister's drain I helped my neighbor hang a pot rack and I took Wilfred to get his ears cleaned.
Wow.
All these things that you are doing are basically for other people, right? What do you do for yourself? I mean life is too short.
I think you really have to do what makes you happy.
I wouldn't know where to start.
In three days I'll go to Capri which is a beautiful island in Italy.
And I have an uncle there who will let me use his sailboat.
Come with me.
That sounds wonderful.
See? But I can't.
Okay.
Then let us make the most of the short time we have left.
So this is more important than waiting for Jenna's cable guy? As we speak, Jenna is sitting at home with no Game Show Network, no MTV2, no Univision.
I'm furious, Ryan.
I'm sorry but for once in my life, I wanna take care of my needs first.
I think I can make that happen.
Ryan, focus.
Right now, there is a branch scraping against Jenna's window.
How's she going to get any sleep tonight if you don't prune it? Ah.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna Stop! Why? No, no.
Not you.
Cinzia Yeah? Let's do it.
Let's go to Italy.
Italy? You didn't ask me if you could go to Italy.
As of now, we're officially not speaking.
Wilfred, get Ah-ah! Ryan, you know that all I want is for you to be happy but you barely know this woman.
And what about that cute girl next door you're always talking about? Please tell me you didn't hear that.
Hear what? Ha.
Nothing.
Here's ten dollars.
I'm buying the unopened food processor I gave you last Christmas.
Okay? So, this is really happening, huh? This Cinzia must be amazing.
She is.
I just hope we can be as happy as you and Drew.
What's wrong? I'm sorry.
Uh, it's just that Well, I don't tell you enough, but you mean so much to me.
And I've never met anyone so kind and thoughtful.
And I'm going to miss you.
I'll miss you too.
But we know who's really gonna miss you.
Uh, Wilfred, come here.
He's been kind of mopey lately.
I know this sounds crazy but it's almost like he knows you're leaving.
Just so you know, I only came over here because Jenna called me.
Ugh, God, Wilfred pooped on your lawn.
There's symbolism in that poop, Ryan.
I'm sorry And some grass.
And half a slipper.
I'm gonna go clean it up.
No, no, wait.
That's dangerous.
There's dangerous bacteria in that poop.
Wilfred, get out of the way.
You shouldn't eat it.
Just because I'm leaving, it doesn't mean that we can't still be friends.
Friends? What, you thought we were actually? That is hilarious.
And a little embarrassing for you because I never really saw us like that.
How much forthis piece-of-shit flat-screen TV? You're selling the TV? That is the cornerstone of ourfriendship.
Wilfred.
Just before my tenth birthday my dad sent my mom away to the sanitarium.
All I wanted for that birthday was a magic set.
But you know what my dad gave me? A briefcase.
He said, "Ryan, no more nonsense.
" I spent my whole life trying to be who he wanted me to be because I was afraid he was gonna send me away too.
Wow.
That story is long.
And boring as shit.
The point is it's time to do what makes me happy.
Ryan, you're leaving behind everything you love for a girl you barely know.
And it just makes me wonder why.
What am I supposed to do? Stick around, and keep waiting hand and foot on a girl I can never have? Like some obedient little lap You were gonna say a "lap dog.
" That's what you think of me, isn't it? Just a silly dog who thinks his duties are far more important than they really are.
Wilfred.
Christ, what a bloody fool I've been.
Jenna doesn't need me anymore.
Maybe she never even did.
You know, I had dreams too, Ryan.
I wanted to herd sheep.
I I wanted to sniff out drugs for the DEA.
Or maybe I just wanted to go to Italy like you.
You never know.
You could to go to Italy Really? So you and yourwhore would take me? Uh Yes.
Yes, Ryan.
The answer's yes.
I will come with you.
Oh, Ryan.
Oh, Ryan, you're the best friend I ever had.
Ryan.
Ryan, check it out.
I've got a list of common Italian phrases you're gonna need to know.
Jeez, Wilfred, we don't even know if Jenna's going to let you go yet.
Why so negative? Someone needs a little attitude adjustment.
No, thanks.
Pot candy's way too intense for me.
I'm on the air in an hour, my hair looks terrible.
These Middle-Eastern names are impossible to pronounce.
To top it all off, the battery in my hybrid is dead.
What the shit? Relax.
I'll get my keys.
Ryan, ask her if I can go to Italy.
Are you sure? You do so much for me.
Of course.
We're friends.
Ask her, ask her, ask her.
Now is not a good time.
Is now a good time? How about now? Now? How about now, Ryan? What about now? Is it a good time now? How about now? Now? What about now? How about now? I don't know, Wilfred.
Jenna's life is going through some big changes.
I think she's gonna need you more than ever.
She'II be fine.
She'll probably have a team of highly trained security specialists around her at all times.
This is the noon news we're talking about.
Whoa.
You okay? I'm just a little light-headed.
The only thing I had to eat today was a piece of candy at your house.
House What candy? That word is weird.
House.
Wilfred, Jenna ate the Tootsie Pot.
No way, mate.
Jenna doesn't do drugs.
If she ate that, she'd be totally freaking out.
This is the News at Noon with Jenna Mueller Cal Fukazaki with sports and Bud Mitchell with the weather.
And action.
What? Good afternoon and welcome to the News at Noon.
Um, let's start with sports Ooh! Look at my mlc.
It's like a shiny little Ryan, I've got to save her.
Cal, you got to feel how soft my tits are Drew.
Come on in, Ryan-oceros.
I flew in right after Jenna told me what happened.
Undies on the face, undies on the face.
What a silly dog I am.
Wilfred, no.
What? You think you can do better than undies on the face? Jenna.
I just came over to see how you were doing.
How am I doing? They fired me.
They think I was on drugs.
I've never even had a speeding ticket.
Hey, you know what, babe? I bet you just had a mini stroke.
Yeah, I've seen newscasters get those on YouTube.
It's actually really funny.
I didn't have a stroke, Drew.
Jenna, look.
My earflipped inside out and I can't fix it.
Ugh.
Jeez.
Ha, ha.
Silly dog.
She wants to sue the station, but we can't afford a lawyer.
And I hope she just moves back to Wisconsin.
I, uh, asked her to marry me last night.
What'd she say? Well, she thinks I'm a total dick for asking at a time like this.
She's thinking about it.
I like my chances.
Fingers crossed.
Mm.
Ah.
Is that glass door open? Some dogs would think it was closed, but not a silly dog.
Jenna, look.
Son of a whore.
It was my fault, Ryan.
Why? Because she ate that pot candy? You couldn't know.
It was my job to know.
Ah.
I was too distracted by my own selfish needs.
I was wrong, Ryan.
Jenna still needs me.
It's my duty to protect her.
I guess Italy willjust have to wait for us.
Us? Ugh.
Well, yeah.
Jenna needs you too.
You're a lawyer, right? I can't.
I'm sorry.
You don't get it.
I ruined Jenna's life and there's nothing I can do to fix it.
You have to help her.
No, you don't get it.
Jenna's gonna marry Drew.
They can work it out.
She's not my problem anymore.
So, what, you're going to punish her just because your stupid little puppy dog crush is unrequited? She'll be fine.
If there's one thing Jenna's good at it's getting people to do things for her.
I've always had your best interests at heart.
And I've never asked for anything in return.
Except for a bunch of stuff.
Please, I'm asking you to make a sacrifice.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to Italy with Cinzia.
Sleep on it, Ryan.
Sleep on it.
Wilfred? Ryan Newman.
You stand accused of ditching out on the cable guy not coming up with anything better than undies on the face.
What is all this? And the gravest of all charges selfishly refusing to make a sacrifice for the one you love.
These charges are very serious.
They're very serious charges.
As forthe seriousness of these charges.
Well, they are very serious.
And they're charges.
What are you talking about? Mr.
Newman, it would be wise to let your counsel speak for you.
Bear? You could have represented yourself but you refused to be a lawyer again.
Why is that, Mr.
Newman? I don't want to get into that.
Who is the archeologist? That's in the past.
The witness will answer.
Who is the archeologist? I am.
Oh.
That's what they called you at yourfather's firm? Because you used to dig up dirt on the opposition? All right, I admit it.
What I did was completely unethical.
But I was only trying to please my father.
You wanna talk about ethics? Is it not unethical to desert the woman you love in her time of need? Me.
No, me.
Bro.
Please, I just wanna be happy.
How can you be happy knowing Jenna's life will be ruined if you abandon her? We all have to make sacrifices for the people we love.
It's time to make a choice.
What are you going to do? Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Please.
What are you going to do? Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna.
Take care, huh? I guess we all have to make sacrifices.
Yes, we do.
I'm curious, Ryan.
What changed your mind? I had a dream.
Well, never underestimate the power of a dream.