Will and Grace s07e01 Episode Script

FYI: I Hurt, Too

Hey, Will Look what I got Isn't that Leo's massage chair? Not anymore He cheated on me Which gives me the constitutional right to wait 'til he goes to work Then sneak in and take as much as two Ukranian day laborers can carry If you guys are waiting for her to tip you ¾ÆÁÖ ¿À·¡ ±â´Ù·Á¾ß ÇÒ °Å¿¹¿ä you're gonna be waiting a long time Didn't you hear what the man said? Gosh, it's like a whole new store opened up in Brooklyn Adultery Barn You should shop there sometime Grace.
Stealing from Leo-- It's so small-minded, it's so petty - I got you his Rolex - Ooh, I've always loved that! God! But but you know, Grace, stealing his stuff-- This is so handsome on me-- Is not going to make your anger go away I'm not angry I don't get angry Not since I found Kabbalah That's the string from a bakery box You didn't find Kabbalah You found ka-pound-cake Your words wash over me You see, Kabbalah has taught me there is no room for negativity in life And I believe him Kabbalah is not a person Then how did he write a book? Wow Those Ukranian boys sure know how to use every wall of an elevator Looks like they got their tip Hey.
Something's different Will's eyepatch is gone and Grace's beak looks wierd Something's up in Pirate Cove And there's a chair here Yeah, Grace stole it to get back at Leo You know, if Vince ever cheats on me I got my eye on his vintage napkin set Fool doesn't even know what he's got He doesn't even have it on display! Didn't anyone ever tell you two that stealing is a sin? Yeah, a little something I learned in a town called Kabbalah It's not a town! Then how did it write a book? I can't imagine anyone having less understanding of this religion Shavat Shalom! I just got back from my world-wind tour You mean "whirl-wind.
" Did I travel around the "whirl"? Jack, I'm so glad you're back! I missed you so much! Wonder Twin powers --Activate! - So, how was Jennifer Lopez? - Oh, we're the bestest friends Yeah, we shop together we go to eat together And every night we unwind in the world-pool Did you tell her my Uncle Hesh was born in the Bronx? Yes, I did, it was all she could talk about we had to cancel a show You know, she and I had a moment at the wedding We were at the coat check and they brought her chinchilla wrap and I said "You know, I think that's mine.
" She burst out laughing Did she happen to mention that? Yeah, she laughed so hard she pulled her groin and had to cancel a movie So, uh, Grace I'm really sorry about Leo You know, Stuart and I broke up also because of infidelity But I understand why you cheated and I know why I did Cheating feels good Leo cheated on me, dumb ass Well, trust me He really enjoyed himself You know, the old Grace would have done this But now, I just have this new serenity thanks to Mr.
Kabbalah He's not a person! He's not like Mr.
Peanut Uh, Mr.
Peanut is not a person, Will (¹Ì½ºÅÍ ÇÇ³Ó : ¹Ì±¹ °úÀÚ È¸»ç PlantersÀÇ ¸ ½ºÄÚÆ®) He's a legume Hello? Uh It's Leo Grace, you're gonna have to him eventually You know, you're right It's time to start dealing with this Wow, she's really upset You know what she needs? A nice warm bowl of Kabbalah It's not a I'll boil the water Àª & ±×·¹À̽º ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä I'm sorry.
Jacques' is not taking reservations today We're closed for a private party No, I will not make an exception As I recall, the last time you were here you were drunk and rude to the staff I was not rude to the staff, dumbo! Oh, Jackie I'm so glad you're back Let's celebrate! Tonight I'll let you peek at me while I'm in the shower I can't, Karen.
I have very important plans with Jennifer Lopez Jackie, come on Who do you think you're talking to? Quit tryin' to pretend like you're best friends with Jennifer Lopez! Morning I slept like a baby I forgot how comfortable towels on a kitchen floor are Que? Qui? Donde? But I had the weirdest dream I was in bed And you and some guy named Toby were dancing around and doing scenes from Selina (¼¿·¹³ª: Á¦´ÏÆÛ ·ÎÆäÁî ÁÖ¿¬ÀÇ ¿µÈ­) That's crazy! We were good, right? That never happened! So, Karen how's married life treating you? Oh, it lasted 20 minutes Oh.
And that's short, right? Ooh, I gotta go I'm unveiling my lingerie line and I promised I'd sign some bras Oh! Honey! Here, sign my bra Sign my bra - Well, you're not wearing a bra - Sign it! What an honor Right next to Sheryl Crow (½¦¸± Å©·Î: ¿©¼º ô °¡¼ö) I call it the Hard Rack Cafe Well, thanks, Jackie I had a great time Okay, Jenny.
Bye! - You don't have to wait - Oh, no problem.
None at all.
- I love you - Love you back! - You're my best friend - Forever Dammit, how long is this freakin' elevator gonna take Ooh! Finally Bye Angel! Goodbye, sweetie! Ay, close already! Honey, she was all over you! You're J.
Lo's J.
Mo! I know She loves me We even made a movie when she was asleep Super fantastic So you'll give her my new song? What? Since when did you start writing music? Well After Finney and I split up I was pretty blue So, Rosie and I flew to Hawaii and checked into the Halekulani to chill (ÇÒ·¹Äð ó´Ï : ÇÏ¿ÍÀÌ ÃÖ°í È£ÅÚ Áß Çϳª) and.
I don't know One night, I just started writing down my feelings, and, well you know Rosie She never goes anywhere without that ukelele (¿ìÄð·¼·¹: ÇÏ¿ÍÀÌ ÀüÅë Çö¾Ç±â) Before I knew it I'd written my little song "FYI: I Hurt Too.
" I think it's perfect for J.
Lo Um, I don't think so, Karen I mean, yeah, we're friends But I don't want to risk my job and my friendship with her just over some song Understood "FYI: I will no longer cry, ooh--" That's a hit! / Yeah Hey.
Where'd ya shop today? AmercerCheater? Extramarital Sex Fifth Avenue? Crate and Bastard? Well, whatever you call it they're having a fire sale (È­Àç ¼¼ÀÏ: È­Àç·Î Ÿ´Ù ³²Àº ¹°°ÇÀ» Á¤¸®ÇÏ´Â ¼¼ÀÏ) 'Cause once all the stuff is gone there's a good chance there'll be a fire I got you something Congratulations You just graduated from NYU med school Oh! It's Leo What? Leo's here? Hey! Those.
.
Those aren't free, you know! If you're gonna keep smashing phones maybe you should steal one! I did! It's in the bag! - What's he doing here? - He probably wants to talk to you What, so he ambushes me? Why didn't he call? Maybe because somebody stole his phone! No.
No, no way, forget about it It's not gonna be that easy We are not gonna talk when he's ready to talk We talk when I'm ready - Get rid of him - Grace, I'm not gonna Is this your cell phone? It looks fragile Okay, okay! Hey Hi Look, I really need to talk to her And, um, I'm kinda freaked out My apartment just got broken into Look, uh She wants you to go, dude "Dude"? I get really straight when I'm angry - Come on, Will.
Help me out - Ain't gonna happen, man Will, she'll listen to you, please / Sorry, partner No can do, chief Okay, could you stop doing that? Wish I could, Johnny but that dog just won't hunt What? Football I took care of it Had to get a little rough with him but I think he heard me Trust me, he won't be showing his face around here again Oh! Just hear me out Hey, I'll let you two talk I'm just gonna get my, uh I just programmed it to ring the theme from Titanic, so So Look,l-I know mad at me, but Believe me, you can't hate me more than I hate myself right now Look-I did a terrible, awful thing There's no excuse for it Just try to remember the guy you fell in love with, though 'Cause that guy's still me I love you, Grace.
I'm not gonna let you go without a fight Oh, you wanna fight? I did say some stuff before that - Say, is that my diploma? - No, conceited! You're not the only Dr.
Leo Markus in the city What were you thinking? Did you really think that I wouldn't find out? You found out because I told you I would've found out I know people In Cambodia? Yes, cheater, in Cambodia Got it Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? I sat here, waiting for you Night after night after night And it wasn't like I didn't have offers.
Please! Guys were just, were just sniffing around me like they were dogs and I was an open can of Puppy Chow! But I didn't do anythingAnd you know why? Because of this Because of this symbol of trust and fidelity And you know what? Come to think of it I don't need it anymore because I don't trust you anymore Take your damn ring Please don't give this back Grace, I love you Look, maybe we can't get past this You know, maybe what I did was just too awful But, I mean what if, what if we can? I mean, don't we at least owe it to each other to find out? Come on, Grace Gimme a chance I don't owe you anything Get out Uh, hi.
Excuse me These seats are reserved for handicapped I'm so sorry Thank you.
Thank you Hey, Jen I found us some seats! Oh, thank God! Oh! I love the subway You know where the inspiration for my album "On The 6"? On the 4 Jen, I love your inside stories You know what would make them even better? Hearing them in your Bentley (º¥Æ²¸® : ¸ À̹ÙÈå, ·Ñ½º·ÎÀ̽º¿Í ÇÔ²² ¼¼°è 3´ë ¸íÂ÷¿¡ ¼ÓÇÏ´Â Â÷ ) No, Jack Okay, when I'm in New York I keep it real I ride the subways I play stickball (½ºÆ½º¼ : ÀÏÁ¾ÀÇ ¾à½Ä ¾ß±¸) And in the summer I jimmy open fire hydrants The cops don't like it much but they just roll their eyes and say "That's Jenny.
" Cops do the same thing to me when I complain about guys from New Jersey throwing cans at me from their cars "That's Jackie.
" What the hell is this place? I haven't seen this many immigrants since the Mauritania (¸ð¸®Å¸³Ä: ¾ÆÇÁ¸®Ä«ÀÇ ºÏ¼­ºÎ¿¡ ÀÖ´Â ³ª ó) pulled into Ellis Island (¿¤¸®½º ¼ :¿¹Àü¿¡ À̹α¹ÀÌ ÀÖ´ø Ç×±¸) Hey Karen Hello You know, my grandfather through Ellis Island They shortened his name from Lopezowitz All the crap about me and that, they miss Ay, gevalt Yes, well, uh, since happen to bump into each other, coincidentally - maybe I'll you a copy of this - Um, excuse us, Jen I need to speak to my friend about something totally unrelated to the music she's holding in her hand No sweat I got my book, Anna Karenina I'm very behind on my Oprah Book Club Honey, What are you doing? You told me you were gonna help me get my song to J.
Lo Karen, people throw music at her all the time The secret is to wait until she's in the right mood Okay, Jackie, I trust you Okay, let's just wait until you know, the perfect moment Damn, this is good! I'm gonna option this Only she's not gonna kill herself at the end She's gonna start a band She kills herself? That's, like Sorry Hey, it's all right.
Hey when's your new album coming out? Oh, God.
As soon as I get good songs to record I'm so frustrated, you know? I need something new - Honey, here's our chance! - Not now I mean, you wouldn't believe all the crap that I get - Honey, I've got crap! - Not now Why are all the out there written by men? I mean, where's the woman's point of view? You know, FYI: I hurt too! Not now! Hello? What? Oh, my God! That's horrible! Well, this is the worst I've ever heard in my life! My God, I'm devastated Now Don't tell me not to just sit and putter life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter Hey, sweetie Wow.
I'm not used to seeing you lip-synch without the wig and the nails This is nice Actually I did it for you 'cause you had such a rough day But it looked so good Thanks for thinking of me Before ultimately taking care of yourself That's what friends do Uh, listen Uh, quick question Do you think that it would be wrong if I gave Leo another chance? Wow I know Wow, I-I-I-I don't know if I can answer that Well, You're gonna have to 'Cause I have no idea what to do - Well if you're forcing me to say - I'm forcing you to say Okay, then I don't should go back to him Well, I'm going back Why do you do that? You always set me up! Uh, you might wanna slide an iceberg over the submarine Okay, look What Leo did was wrong No question And it was big No question But how do I know if it was big enough and wrong enough to throw away a marriage? I mean, what if I could find a way to forgive him? Shouldn't I at least try? I don't know, sweetie.
I mean you've been so angry at him I know But I got it out Yeah, by vandalism theft, and yelling The three pillars of Kabbalah Well, now that I got all that anger out, I'm just really sad I miss him Sweetie, you know hatever you do, I'm gonna support you Thank you There's nothing I can't share with you - Do you mind if I - Your bathroom's down the hall! I can't believe Jennifer Lopez fired me Where did I go wrong? I replayed it in my mind a thousand times: She finds out her dog dies I present her with a mid-tempo ballad Here, honey, drink this It'll make you feel better Why does it hurt so bad? Probably because you swallowed the little plastic sword Why do we have to have this dinner with Grace and Leo anyway? Look, Grace decided to give him another chance So I put this dinner together so we can show our support But it's totally casual Six courses, some champagne moderate decorations Oh, and don't forget to sit in front of your place cards What am I talking about? That was all outlined in the invitation I don't even know how to act around him Do I like him? Do I hate him? Do I have an accent? Just act like a normal human being - Hey, guys - Hey Top o' the mornin' to ya, Leo! And look at you, Grace You're magically delicious! Manly, yes, but I like her, too Look, uh, thanks a lot for doing this I know it's awkward for the obvious reason I don't intend on paying tonight Oh, I thought you were gonna say the obvious reason is because you cheated on Grace Uh, guys, please No, it's okay I can handle it - I'm an adult - --erer (adult+erer °£ÅëÇÑ ³²ÀÚ) That's a good one.
That one was smart because you made a funny noise like a bear Your table is ready You guys go ahead We'll catch up I just want to talk for a second What the hell are you doing? I know, I totally dropped my accent Did you not hear me before? We're here to support Grace We're all gonna act like adults --erer I'm a bear! Jack, Will's right We have to support Grace and Leo in their attempt to save their marriage That's it? What? You're serious? I have a question, though Are you endorsing this, Will? I mean, do you really think this is the right decision for Grace to make in her life? What, you're serious, too? What the hell's going on here?! A minute ago, you two were bears! Well Yeah Boy, this is weird, huh It's like we're on a first date Well, it is like a first date I mean, the last person you slept with wasn't me Sorry No, it's okay.
I forgive ya Guess we're even now We're not even I-I'm way down It's a blowout You're back.
We almost had to send out a search party A search-- search party I appreciate that I know that wasn't very funny No, it's not very funny at all I still can't get over how lame it was I'm starving! I guess I don't haveto fake laugh anymore Oh, I know what I want Szechuan beef Ooh, I don't know That made you sick last time You don't think I should order it? - Well, it's to you, Grace - I'm asking your opinion - Well if you're forcing me to say - I'm forcing you to say All right, then I think you'd have to be an idiot to order the Szechuan Beef after what it did to you la st time Well, I'm getting it Who is this General Tsao? (Á¦³Ê·² ½Î¿ì: ´ß¿ä¸® À̸§) And didn't he have anythg better to do than to make chicken? Oh, I miss stand-up, Kare You had so many genius bits like that You know, we all think it But you say it So, what, you think it's just it's just not gonna ma sick this time? - It might not - Hmm Beef can change Really? You honestly trust that something that, th-- That hurt you so bad once isn't gonna do it again? Peking duck looks good and it's not a metaphor for anything How am I supposed to know if it's gonna make me sick again unless I give the beef a second chance? Fine, fine, order the beef Don't expect me to pick up the pieces Can can the beef say something? You know, it can if you're on a Thorazine drip (½î óÁø : ÁøÁ¤¼º Ç×Á¤½Åº´¾à) I once spent a delightful evening with a London broil (·±´ø ºê·ÎÀÏ : º¸¸£µµ ¿ÍÀÎ ¼Ò½º¸¦ °çµéÀÎ ¼Ò°í±â ¾È½É ½ºÅ×ÀÌÅ©) - He was the darndest-- - Karen, please, please I think it's very clear who the beef is at the table And I think the beef deserves to be heard I was fired by Jennifer Lopez today And I recognize how devastating this is to all of us but I had no idea it would complicate your marriage or your relationship with Will was much as it obviously has I apologize And I wanna thank everyone for coming out to support me The beef has spoken Oh, honey.
You're a complete moron Look, Will, If you have something to say, just say it All right I can't deal with this I thought I could, but I can't I trusted you to take care of her and you pissed all over that Now, I'm sorry if I can't just turn around and pretend like it never happened Everytime you go out, I'm gonna wonder where you've gone Everytime you look at another woman, I'm gonna think "Is it gonna happen again?" I can't trust you, bucko! That's right! I'm angry! - Will, I don't think that's fair - Actually, it is fair I mean, he has no reason to trust me, you know? I screwed up I let him down I let everyone down You like how he all of a sudden made this whole evening about him? Look, Will.
I'm sorry You know, I wish there were a way I could make it up I'd give ya my Rolex that ya had your eye on But I see you're already wearing that Look, what I'm trying to say is that I didn't mean to hurt Grace Or you And I just hope one you'll believe that I hope one day I will too Okay, look I think there's one thing that everyone at this table can agree on You love me and you want me to be happy.
Am I right? - Sure - yeah Can we order? Will, Leo makes me happy And I want this to work out So I'm gonna need my friends to be supportive Can you try to do that, please? For me I'll try Especially since you're gonna let me keep the watch You know, I had fun tonight Yeah, I did, too It was kind of a rocky start but I really like the way it ended up I really enjoyed Jack's stand-up, too You know, he's right White people really are uptight especially relative to other races Yeah, he's got a real gift for stealing observational humor I mean, why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? - I'm glad we did this, Grace - Me too And I'm glad everybody's on board, you know? I mean, it really doesn't matter what other people think anyway, though What matters is what we think, right? Grace? I just couldn't It's over I'm sorry I can't believe you wanted to take the subway again ell, now that I've done it once I've discovered a really great place W to buy mari-- batteries Hey, that gun doesn't belong on the seat! Now, pick it up! Do it! I'm Jennifer Lopezz And I hate trash! Jennifer! Jackie! - Oh, it's great to see you! - You too! I miss you so much! I wish you were dancing with me again Does that mean you're gonna give me my job back? Oh, no.
Is that what you got from what I said? No, I'm sorry Once I fire someone I don't hire them back It's my policy But sometimes a policy is merely a guideline for behavior Not an absolute Which, By the way, was one of the worst lines in your song Anyway, to make it up to you I got you a job! Dancing with Janet Jackson Janet Jackson! Oh, my God! That's way better than dancing with I mean, that would be okay! Ooh! This is my stop.
Okay It was great seeing you, Jackie You take care too, Kare Yeah - See you 'round - Okay This is a nightmare! ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä