Wonderland (2013) s02e08 Episode Script


I got the job.
You got the job! I'm so proud of you.
Ooh, yeah, Robbie! Do me in the bushes.
You know you were born with a missing chromosome, right? I'm not ready to collaborate with someone.
Why? Because all your recent collaborations have been unsuccessful? Look, I still wanna be your groupie, so Has Warwick sent you to ask me for money? No.
No, he said not to say anything.
Why are you saying something, then? Don't know.
You were right.
I loaned her the car because there's something there.
And I have tried to ignore it but I just can't stop thinking about her.
I can't stop thinking about him, which is why I was at the bar tonight.
Miranda's guy from last night? Was his name Carlos? She thinks that we slept together.
She should give you more credit.
Or ask you before she judges.
Miranda, I'm sorry for disappointing you.
I'm just sorry.
Oh, but if if he's treating you badly and the sex isn't great, I don't know what you're staying for.
Oh, no, he's not treating me badly - I mean, well, not until today, but And now you've seen my ugly side, is it goodbye? I think it's kind of a relief to know that you're human.
How was I missed you.
I missed you too.
Wait, wait, is Zoe here? No.
It feels like a little bit of an anticlimax, though, doesn't it? All that stress to get your assignments in on time, and then We get blind.
Come on, it's happy hour.
Everyone from class will be there.
Even the lecturers are coming.
Oh, that's supposed to get me over the line, is it? Come on, prove that all mature-aged students aren't duds, and just come.
Come on, you have to show up.
Why? Because I like you.
As in, LIKE you like you - like, really like you.
And I think we could have some fun.
Would you like to? I had to wait all week for that.
It was torture.
With a mind-blowing A whole weekend together.
What should we do? I wanted to tell you when I got here, before I was ravaged, Bianca called.
She's decided to go to a girlfriend's hens' weekend.
Cleo's flying up in the morning to stay with me.
And I think it'll be good for her to have some dad time.
No, she'll she'll love that.
I'm sorry.
I can't say no to Bianca.
No, of course you can't.
Leaving in two! Grace, are you coming?! Oh, I forgot.
Steve's part of a new corporate softball team and Dani wants cheerleaders, and I think Rob's only going because he wants to take the piss.
Always an option.
Last chance! Going! Does that sound optional? Go-ing! Although, if it's our only time together this weekend Gone! I'll call her.
Come on, come on! You.
Smash it! Whoo! Come on, Vermont! Come on, I can smell the fear! Uhh Slack pitch! We've got no pitch there.
What sort of sport doesn't involve tackling?! Come on, Steve! Whoo! Maybe he's a better batter.
I doubt that.
Oh, you'd have to give to the guy.
He takes team sport very seriously.
It's, uh it's FAT night tomorrow night.
Steve's cooking.
You should come.
Grace will be there? She will.
And and Nick? Probably, but it's been months.
It's time, my friend.
Bum out, chin in! Come on, skipper Steve! Hey, 10 bucks 10 bucks says he doesn't hit it.
OK, 20, third base.
Here we go.
My car.
Run home! Come on! Run, run, run! Go, you killer! Run home! Run, run, run home! Go, chicken legs, go! Run, Steve, run! Run! Go! Run home! Go! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah, Stevie! A winning team is a team that wins.
Oh, my God, I've married a fridge magnet.
Our team is the perfect storm of core contributors shooting for maximum thrust across the board.
My God, are you hearing yourself? Hey? You haven't said one word about the ball that you maximum thrusted through our window.
Baby, the window will be fixed.
I'll take it in tomorrow before the debrief session.
Debrief session? Oh, it's just a breakfast.
I-I'll drop the car on the way.
All I'm saying is that if I had done it, you would be grumpy about it for a week.
No, not if you'd smashed it having a big win at your work.
Hey, we have team wins at my work.
We just don't have to hug each other.
Maybe waste management people are less affectionate.
Come here.
Let me make up for all that lack of corporate hugging.
You're sweaty.
Get off.
Mum called about the loan.
She wants me to go over a few things with that old bag of wind tomorrow.
Which old bag of wind? Jim Armstrong.
Dad's lawyer.
Must be at least 100 by now.
Anyway, I need you.
For? To be my human shield with Mum.
Uh You were the one that dragged her into this, so you Yeah, well, it worked.
She's helping.
Look, I have to be on the job site first thing.
I shall come afterwards.
It's not until 2:00.
Good boy.
OK, which one says 'genius' more? Both.
One on the right.
Really? They'd love that.
Who? Lyle Nuell, the only gallery that hasn't rejected me yet, but I've been saving the best till last.
Oh, your work is wonderful.
Oh, thanks, but there's a lot of great work out there, and I'm an unknown quantity, apparently.
I didn't actually notice the ticking bomb underneath you.
You should probably go easy on yourself.
I gave myself a year to get hung in a gallery and time's up.
Self-imposed ticking bomb.
If it's gonna happen for me it's gonna happen now.
If not, I have to listen to that.
That's loser speak.
I actually have a few more images.
Can you just wait and see? Standing by.
That's very helpful, darling.
Have you considered a career as a life coach? He's at some bonding buddy-building victory debrief thing.
It's not bless.
It's my weekend too he's eating into.
But he was so miserable in his other job.
Let him enjoy it.
How's your young groupie? He told me he likes me.
Whoo! He kissed me.
Wow! Nice work! Any good? Well, it was a ballsy move.
Uh, he's sweet but uh, no.
He's so He's so young and fun and full of adoration? He wants me to go with him to the end-of-semester drinks tonight.
So go.
It's FAT night.
Who cares? You never know what might happen.
Yes, I do.
Go anyway.
Rob, he's barely legal.
She's straying into cougar territory.
Yeah, what would you know about it, huh? It's all over her Facebook.
You must've seen it.
What's that? Just shut up and do some work, alright? He likes all her photos.
He likes her comments, every post.
He's all over liking it.
What, Colette's got a new boyfriend, has she? That is what I am saying.
Shut up, Jay! You know, I'm starting to get a real sense of what it would've been like for the two of you growing up together and sharing a room.
I was in a constant headlock from the age of seven.
Yeah, well, you know what? You're never too old for me to throw you a beating.
You forgot your lunchbox, doofus.
Seriously? You have your missus delivering lunch to the site? Yeah.
What about the rest of us, mate? Well, now that you're a dad, you might have to stop being such an oxygen thief.
Yeah, I know.
Seriously, Rob, all jokes aside, even Kylie reckons Colette's shagging I will rip your lungs out if you don't shut it, alright?! Alright, alright, alright, alright.
Grab that benchtop there, Jay.
Sorry about the softball.
Yeah, where's your team spirit? I saw your car there.
I know you were home, Miss Afternoon Delight.
Yeah, I got sidelined by Nick.
Ooh, is that what we're calling it these days? You still keeping it out of the office? No, our our boss is convinced that the rumours are false.
Well, I always said, you start with lies, you end with tears.
You should know she's a crap liar.
Not a lie.
It's a secret.
And the sex? I thought it was bad.
Yeah, but then Nick went and flashed his dacks and things got a bit more interesting.
Uh No? No.
Why bastards make great lovers? It's a best-seller.
He's not a bastard.
Ohh He's a good dad.
He's taking care of his daughter this weekend.
Oh, so you're gonna meet her? No.
Why not? Well, because we're not at the meeting family stage.
But this is his daughter, the the most important person in his life, and he doesn't want you to meet her? So, what? You you're not gonna see him at all this weekend? No.
I'm OK with that.
I did not Right, in we go.
Here we go.
Good morning.
Yes, it is.
Can I be of assistance? Your gallery is amazing.
So I've been told.
I-I'm a photographer.
Of course you are.
I would I mean, it would Sorry.
I was wondering if it would be possible to book an appointment with you to see my portfolio.
I would like to very much.
Really? Yes, I would also like to be sipping champagne on a yacht in Monte Carlo, but sadly, neither is a possibility for me right now.
Right, well, I-I'm flexible.
Time-wise, I mean, so I could see you any time that I'm sorry, we're not taking on any new artists at the moment, uh Miranda.
Miranda Beaumont.
Let go of the card, Miranda.
You've got Angus Phelan.
I've represented him for 20 years.
Uh, Virtual Train, Stefano Tomassetti and James Dibble.
All in my stable.
Well, thanks, anyway.
Good luck.
Desiccated coconut.
Sorry? I'm making you a shopping list.
Does Nick like lamingtons? I don't know.
Can you ask him? No.
I just ran away from him.
Dietary discussions can be a minefield.
Harry, if you see someone that you know in the park, and they're with their daughter, for argument's sake, is it intrusive to go up and talk to them? I think it would be stalkerish not to.
But what if you haven't been invited to the park thing? Nick? I don't think he wants to include me in his other life.
Sleeping over's pretty inclusive and he likes doing that.
Yeah, I-I suppose it is weird seeing them and not saying anything.
I often find saying hello is a good place to start.
Don't forget the melons.
Dani, hey.
Hey, yeah, I forgot to tell you that I invited Carlos tonight.
Well, I figured since Captain von Trapp is with his .
with his daughter then it wouldn't be too awkward.
Hey, um, I've gotta go, but I-I'll see you tonight.
OK, bye.
Wait until you see this baby.
It will change your life.
Best suction of all.
Sucks up Great apartment, by the way.
Thank you.
Cheers for the lift.
Yeah, bad luck about your window.
Say hi to Dani for me.
Alright, thanks.
Ah, you are home.
You just missed Rebecca.
Steve, it is not OK for you to invite workmates over without warning.
Honey, she was buying a vacuum.
And she gave me a lift.
Sorry, I didn't think it was such a big deal.
Hey, check it out.
Check it.
Most Valuable Player.
Well done, babe.
You know, I think I might get my name engraved.
Oh, aren't you proud of me? Honey, I'm very proud.
But don't you think all this self-congratulating is just a little bit over the top? But I'm a winner.
You're a wally.
Is it knock-off time? I got about See ya, mate.
I'll make sure he doesn't ding your nice bench.
Oh, you should head off too, mate.
Go be a dad.
No, it's cool.
I never thought I'd say this, but it looks like you're doing a good job of it, mate.
I'm proud of you.
Yeah, well, plenty of time to stuff it up yet.
Better not.
Because Kylie's the best thing that ever happened to me, right? No.
I'm just trying to protect my role in the family, OK? There's only room for one divorced idiot.
Let's just keep it that way.
Hey yourself.
Uh, I've got grocery Um, I've just been shopping and I-I saw you guys there and I, um, I just thought thought it would be stalkerish not to say hey.
Um, we're just on an ice-cream mission.
Cleo, this is a friend of mine from work, Grace.
Hi, Cleo.
Can we get ice-cream now? Yeah.
I-I'd better, um It was nice to bump into you.
She's adorable.
Well, do you wanna join us? I've got groceries.
Yeah, so you said.
Come on.
I could do with some adult supervision.
He wasn't interested.
It was a total boys club.
And you're not just catastrophising? No.
The universe is sending me a message loud and clear.
What message is that? "Turn back, Miranda.
" "This is not for you, Miranda.
" "Stop buying into wacky New Age superstition, Miranda.
" I'm not.
I tried and I failed.
So try harder.
Fail better.
Did you put something into this competition? 'Romance in the City'? Mm-hm.
Two lovers walking hand in hand? No.
Fraser's Bridge.
You know, the love lock one.
I read about one in Paris.
I didn't realise there was one here.
It'll be perfect.
It's a great location.
It is pure romance.
Two people in love.
They meet on the bridge and they finally declare their love for each other.
And then they lock it in, and then they throw away the key.
I could meet you there after this thing with Nana and Mum.
I'll be there at 5 o'clock.
Mm-hm, 5:00.
OK, I-I'll be there.
Lock it in.
Can I assist you? I'm not sure.
Ohh, let me try.
Well, you'd have to forgive me - I'm in a little bit of a rush, but I thought I might just quickly come inside, see if you're interested in a little update.
What did you have in mind? Um, let me Oh, bugger me.
I've left my phone in the car.
Just let me grab it, and I'll, um Do you have a portfolio? No.
But I do have a studio.
I see.
Perhaps you'd be interested in coming to take a look at my Etchings.
Yeah, I actually think some of my pieces would really complement the feel of your space.
I'm a cabinet maker.
Well, hello, Tom the cabinet maker.
Let me give you a card and if you're interested, pop by and take a look.
And you are late because? Oh, it's all in the name of art, Mother.
All in the name of art.
Now, how long is this gonna take? You arrive late and then you wanna know when you can leave? You really are turning into your father.
I just I've got a very important thing to get to.
Why are we even meeting outside, anyway? Mum made it very clear we had to wait right here.
It drives me nuts.
Hello, Margaret.
Mum! Are we ready? Uh, before we go in, there's something I need to make known about Jim.
We're an item.
You and Dad's lawyer? He's a wonderful companion and he's been good to me for years.
You and Jim Armstrong? Since when? We played bridge a few times.
Now, he's concerned about me lending money to Warwick, but I've told him that's my decision.
Wow, soggy cone.
My favourite.
Mmm! So good.
Thanks for the ice-cream.
Uh, thanks for joining.
I would I would kiss you right now but Ow! Daddy, I'm bleeding! Oh, here.
Come on, let me kiss it.
No, it hurts.
I'd better get her home.
I've got some bandaids up at my place, if you wanna bring her up.
Um, Cleo, would you like to come up to my house? No.
I've got bandaids.
And do you know what else? What? A chicken.
Really? It's dead.
It died of natural causes.
Had a very happy life.
Laid a lot of eggs.
What's its name? Shakira.
Should we make your knee feel better? OK.
You're a brave woman.
She usually starts screaming the second she sees the antiseptic.
Well, that's good to know.
Come on, Cleo.
Is it gonna hurt? Uh, yeah, probably just a little bit.
How much? About a count of five.
I've had worse.
Yeah, I bet you were brave then too.
Alright, well, do you wanna count with me? Are you ready? One, two, three It's stopped.
Are you kidding? That was fast.
Aha, good to go.
You have a way with bandaids.
Uh, well, I haven't asked him but I don't think he'll mind.
Hey, um, do you mind if Colette skips dinner so she can go to uni drinks? You can be honest.
She's just trying to find an excuse not to have fun.
Oh, no, have fun.
No problem.
See? Now you have to go.
What are you looking for? My trophy, which my darling wife has hidden somewhere.
Just until one of us gets a little perspective.
She's not enjoying my new corporate camaraderie.
When does camaraderie end and cult status begin? OK, well I guess I won't be seeing you at FAT night.
So, happy FAT night.
You better not cook the best roast without me there.
But how could he win the trophy if he doesn't cook the best? Hey, remember, it's not illegal to have sex with a 20-year-old.
OK, I'll keep that in mind.
- Bye.
- Bye.
OK, so we're clearly in a conflict situation.
And once we admit that, we could take steps to resolving it.
My God, did I just walk into an HR meeting? Dani, you're looking at me like you don't like me.
Babe, there are lots of things about each other that we don't like.
It's just part of being married.
Like what? You really wanna get into this? Well, there's no better time.
Well, you always just get so uptight when I give you feedback.
No, no, not since the team building conflict resolution workshop.
I'm now completely open to your feedback.
I highly doubt that.
Try me.
Kylie, what's up? No, I left him at the site a while back.
Hey, hey, calm down.
Calm down.
Look, I'm sure he's fine.
I'll head over back to the site, give him a kick up the arse.
Alright, you have to stand in a neutral position.
It's a conflict resolution exercise.
This is called the "When you I feel So why?" exercise.
What? OK, I'll go first.
Yes, babe.
No, you just listen.
Dani, when you buy light beer, I feel like you're suggesting that I'm becoming an alcoholic.
That is the stupidest thing you've ever said.
You're not listening.
Because what you're saying is really dumb.
You wait until the other person has finished talking, then you say "Thank you for sharing".
Then you have your turn.
Thank you for sharing.
OK, hit me.
Steve, when you invite work colleagues over without asking me, I feel like I don't exist, so I'm gonna .
tell you never to do that again.
My turn.
Uh, "thank you for sharing".
Thank you for sharing.
What's happening? Your brother's heart's beating too slowly and he's in danger of having a cardiac arrest.
Has his wife been told? Yeah, she's on her way.
W-what was he doing? What happened? He drilled through a live wire.
He must've been out for about 10 minutes before they called the ambulance.
I should never have bloody left him.
I'm so sorry.
Uh, Mum, I am really running late now.
But good ol' Nana - she came through, though, so Yes, she did.
And, um, I thought Jim was gonna talk her out of it for a second there.
I didn't realise that she would have to mortgage her house for us.
Yeah, well, she seems OK with it, though.
And very happy with her new boyfriend.
He admires her.
I mean, she's brave enough to find romance at her age.
Yeah, well, I gotta go, so, um What is the rush? Oh, Miranda.
I promised that I'd help her with her photoshoots.
Miranda is your something important? She is.
See ya.
Excuse me, mate.
Is there any chance you could go just a little bit faster, please? No, mate.
Just here's fine, mate.
Just here.
Hey, Tom.
I've been here for about, uh, and I haven't heard anything from you.
Keep the change.
OK, thanks, mate.
So, anyway, I-I'm gonna go, but, uh, are you alright, though? It's .
very romantic.
I'm sorry.
What happened to you? You're not gonna believe this, but - Sorry, no - You go.
You go.
My car got stolen.
What? Yeah, and I left my phone in it and then I couldn't call you, and I'm sorry, I The cops found it - it was dumped on Southern Cross Drive.
No fuel in it.
Well, lucky they found it.
Yeah, it is lucky.
I guess that explains why you weren't at Fraser's Bridge, then.
I was there.
I You didn't wait for me.
Yeah, I-I did.
I We had a date for 5:00.
Yeah, well, I was 40 minutes late.
I left you a voicemail at exactly 5:40.
I was there at 5:40.
I was looking for you.
We must've, like, just missed each other.
We could always Nah, the light's gone.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Of course.
The moment's passed.
Yeah, well, I mean, Nana's thing went late, and then, you know, someone takes my car for a joy-ride and I left my phone in the car.
Who does that happen to? It happens to us.
Hello? Oh, it's you.
Oh, yes! Miranda.
Hi! I-I didn't expect you to come so soon.
You work here? Yeah, I gave you my card.
Ah, yes, yes.
Uh, but I've come to see Tom Wilcox.
Sorry? The cabinet maker.
He asked me to come and look at his stuff.
He's, uh.
? Out.
You obviously have yourself a devoted admirer, you lucky girl.
He was very determined to get me here, and now I see why.
Well, come on, then.
Come on? Well, better show me some of your stuff, since I'm here.
Thank you.
Yes, of course.
No more than five photos.
Tom's not gay, is he? No.
OK, Dani, when you mock my achievements I feel devalued, so I get competitive.
Steve, when you make me play stupid conflict resolution games, I feel like killing you.
- That's not how it goes.
- It's open! Hey.
Bad timing? No, not at all.
Oh, man.
Oh! Hey.
Oh, what's happened here? Nothing.
Everything's fine.
You might want to slice that really fine.
Oh, thank you.
I know how to serve beef.
Oh, it's beef? Yeah.
Jesus, Steve.
Can you get me a glass of wine, please? Honey, when you ask me to pour you a glass of wine it makes me feel Oh, look, forget it.
Jim told me you called off the loan.
I don't understand, Maggie.
If I'd known you were mortgaging the house I wouldn't have agreed.
How else did you think I'd come up with that much? I-I don't know, I-I-I I suppose I was assuming Dad's nest egg.
Your father's been dead for nearly 30 years.
GFC, shares crash.
Which is why I don't want to put you under any financial strain.
It's a house.
I can't take it with me.
I'm not doing it to you, Mum.
Is this because Jim didn't like the idea? No, it's because I couldn't bear it if we took your money and lost it.
Oh, I don't care.
I want to help.
And you know, really, in the end, that's all that matters, Mum.
You wanted to help.
Why don't you spend your money on a cruise with Jim? And get married on the ship.
Stay for dinner.
We can discuss bridalwear.
So, uh, how about your big home run, huh? Oh, I can't believe I missed it.
Well, I would show you my trophy but I don't know where it is.
So, what's the deal with you guys all hugging? It's a bit naff.
No, Tom, we don't We don't use judgmental words like naff in this house.
We use encouraging and supportive words.
We believe in the three Ls.
The Leadership, loyalty and longevity.
Sorry I'm late.
Am I late? Anyway, I-I just had a conversation with the owner of a gallery that I've been dreaming about.
He's interested in putting my work in a show next month.
Oh, my God! Is that last-shot Lyle? Mm-hm.
What do you know about galleries? Well, it's actually Tom I have to thank, because he pretended to be gay.
Well, I didn't Wait, I'm confused.
You slept with a man so Miranda could sell her work? No, no, no, I didn't get that far.
You seem to have all the guys wrapped around your little finger.
Now, can we get you a drink? Yes.
Excuse me, I've got to go to the bathroom.
Grace, can we talk about why you've been weird with me for weeks? What? No, no, I haven't.
You know, you're angry with me about something that didn't even happen.
You know what, you don't have to explain yourself to me.
Come on, Carlos and I ran into each other at the bar, and and nothing happened.
Tom got the wrong idea.
I'm not with Carlos anymore, so what you two do is nothing We're not doing anything.
Well, I'm with Nick.
It's not an issue.
Well, Carlos is still in love with you, and personally, I think you're still in love with him too.
Can I pee now? Yeah.
Thank you.
Bye! Gotta get to bed.
Gotta get up early to get the deadline.
Yeah, I gotta pick up the car first thing in the morning.
Have you any word on Jay? Uh, no news is good news? I dunno.
Colette said she'd call back.
See ya, guys.
Alright, mate.
Hey, um, so how's your scooter? Uh, the scooter's fine.
I'm fine.
Um, look, I miss you a lot, but I'm happy that you're happy.
I am.
And and I want you to be too.
Everything OK? Yeah.
It's perfect.
Have a good night.
Yeah, you too.
Warwick, I've got some good news and some bad news.
No, no, no, she signed everything.
Um, I told her that we weren't accepting the loan.
The good news? Mum's got a boyfriend! So, hooray.
Here you go.
Thank you.
You got it engraved! Now, see, honey, there are two other Ls that I would like us to discuss.
Even when I don't like you, I still love you like crazy.
Me too.
Hey, not that you don't ever like me, right? Right.
Good answer.
Thank you.
He's gonna be alright.
He's awake, he's talking.
His head's OK.
He's still stupid.
That's fantastic.
I'm really glad you came.
Yeah, me too.
Car OK? Yeah.
Yeah? Did he damage it? No, no, no, didn't damage it.
This car, man.
Given me nothing but heartache for a whole year.
It's just a car, man.
Nah, I think it's time.
I think it's time, man.