Xiaolin Showdown (2003) s02e19 Episode Script

The Year of the Green Monkey

Xiaolin Showdown!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Xiaolin Showdown.
Whoo! Yeehaw!
Ha ha!
Tongue of Saiping!
Horse, what are you doing?
You are supposed to
leap over the hedge,
not eat through it.
It's too high. I'm lowering it.
Perhaps if you did
not eat so much,
you could leap higher.
Well, perhaps if we
switched places,
you could carry me
around for a while.
Would you mind turning
down the volume?
Some of us are trying to
get a little shut-eye.
In the middle of the day?
You are a very lazy animal.
What a mouth on
someone so small!
I am not small! I am compact!
Yeah. Any more compact, and we'd
need a microscope to find you!
You animals are all very rude
and very lazy!
No more Water for any of you!
Hooo hooo hooo! Haaa haaa haaa!
Monkey punch! Hyah!
Hooo hooo hooo! Haaa haaa haaa!
Don't tell now, monkey boy.
Uhh! Ow!
Ow! Uhh!
Uhh! Hoo-hoo-ha!
Perhaps I should hold
on to this, young monk,
until you learn to get along
with animals quietly.
Drop what you're
doing, boys and girls!
We've got ourselves a magnitude
8.0 Shen Gong Wu alert!
The Fountain of Hui has
just revealed itself.
When activated, it provides
unlimited knowledge.
Sounds like a pretty handy Wu if
you're doing a crossword puzzle.
I'm afraid by itself, it can
only provide random information,
but when combined with
its sister Shen Gong Wu
the Eagle Scope,
the two can be used to unlock
the greatest secrets
of the universe.
You mean like why baboons
have such colorful buttocks?
Yes, and even greater secrets.
All aboardThat is, if you don't
mind riding a very lazy animal.
It appears Jack Spicer has
chosen not to show up
at a battle he will
most certainly lose.
Wrong again. I show up
at all the battles that
I'm certain to lose.
Do you even think
before you speak?
So where are your robots? Did you
program them to run away? Ha ha!
Look again and weep, baby.
They have you surrounded.
Junk-bots, attack!
Looks like evil doesn't pay
as well as it used to.
Don't know whether
we should fight 'em
or have ourselves a garage sale.
What in tarnation?!
All: Dragon excumai formation!
The Fountain of Hui! Ha ha!
You fool! What do you
have to say for yourself?
I should have brought a
longer extension cord?
Hoo! Yeah!
Hey! Whoo!
Givin' evil a good
old-fashioned butt kickin'
is becoming my favorite sport.
The young monks have grown
quite strong in a short time.
Perhaps it is time they are
given a taste of true evil.
Chase Young! I can't
believe it's you!
Can I get you
something to drink?
How about a sandwich? A churro?
I have a proposition for you.
Look! He's touching my hand!
Do you still have
that Monkey Staff?
Yes. Right here!
For my plan to work,
I must also have
the Tongue of Saiping!
I'm afraid the monks
have that Wu
But I can get it for you.
Why do you need it?
If it was important
for you to know,
I would have told you.
Say no more. Thanks
for the explanation.
But I will tell you this.
By the time it is over,
you will lead your
own evil army.
Wow! That is so cool!
I've always wanted
my own evil army!
We'll get started right away.
Hey, what's all the ruckus?
Look! Jack Spicer!
Does he really think we'd fall
for the trojan horse routine?
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
I smell something most
rotten in Denver.
That's Denmark, and I do, too.
Perhaps we should post a guard
to watch over the vault.
I'm so brilliant, I
sometimes scare even me.
Hah hah hoo! Hah hah!
Hmm. I have a most unusual
sensation in my spine.
Aah! Yah!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Tongue of Saiping!
Monkeys of the jungle!
I summon your presence!
Today I assemble the greatest
monkey army of all times
in the name of evil!
It is the year of
the green monkey.
Monkey power is strongest now
and the Monkey Staff most
dangerous to whoever loses it.
Your orders are simple!
You will follow the big
monkey and do as he does!
This is the proudest
day of my life!
Aah! If mom could
only see me now!
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yep. Looks like an
inside job to me.
I don't get it.
Who would go through
so much trouble
just to steal the
Tongue of Saiping?
Someone who has a
plan far more evil
and the Patience to unleash
it when the time is right
When monkey power
is most powerful.
Well, if it isn't our
favorite primate!
Not only does he look
like a monkey
He smells like one, too.
Considering it's Jack Spicer,
anything is an improvement.
Hey, hey! Easy on the disses.
I'm here to take over.
Oh, yeah? You and what army?
I was hoping you'd ask me that.
Me and my army of monkeys!
Tongue of Saiping!
Monkeys, attack!
Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!
Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
Uhh! Huh?
Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ah-ah-ah! Oh-oh-oh!
I haven't seen so much
bitin' and scratchin'
since the last Thanksgiving.
There's too many of them!
We are trained Xiaolin warriors,
and they are mere jungle beasts!
Repulse the monkeys!
I can't believe it! We won!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
I sound like a monkey!
I think like a monkey!
I look like a monkey!
I am a monkey!
Maybe the fountain of hui
could show us what to do.
You heard Master Fung.
Without the sister
Wu, it's useless.
Right now, we are useless.
We must try something!
Fountain of Hui!
Stand back! He's gonna blow!
Aah! You ok there, pardner?
The atomic mass of
hydrogen is 1.007.
The cheetah is the
swiftest land animal.
The longest toenail
is 7-feet, 3 inches.
Ew! Way too much information.
An 11-letter noun from the
root word "to inform."
It looks like Omi
has blown a gasket.
A ring strip or sheet of rubber
or metal packed around a
piston or pipe joint.
has exceeded
as the longest word
in the dictionary.
A lot of info, but all useless.
That toenail tidbit was
kind of interesting.
Your plan for world
domination is brilliant,
especially the part of
turning Jack into a monkey.
Anyway, it's necessary for me
to keep the monks occupied.
The Eagle Scope cannot
fall into their hands.
No! Never!
Why not?
With both Shen Gong Wu,
they will learn the secret
to rid the world of evil
Omi: The speed of light--
186,000 miles per second
from here to the moon when
the moon is in parity,
which means it's closer
in it's own orbit
Feeling any better, Omi?
Oh! I still have a splitting
soreness between my ears!
Did you know the longest ear
is 5 1/2 inches? Ow!
Maybe we can use
our Shen Gong Wu,
to get past the monkeys.
Our best Wu is all
corralled up in the vault.
We'll never get to it.
Hmm. Looks to me like Jack's
lost all interest in Wu.
Do you think he even
remembers he's a human?
I know I don't.
Aah! I got a monkey on my back!
Get it off! Get it off! Get
the monkey off my back!
Chill, little green dude.
It's just a bad dream.
No! A new Wu is about
to reveal itself!
Ooh. Along with my lunch.
Eagle Scope!
When combined with its sister
Wu, the Fountain of Hui,
it can unlock any secret
Well, the kid's still
Including how to rid
the world of evil!
Now I understand!
Jack is a mere puppy!
Puppet, I'm guessing.
Chase Young is the
mastermind behind this!
He must make certain that he
gets to the evil scope first!
Way to use the old melon, Omi!
How can we stop him?
As long as monkey
Jack is out there,
we're going nowhere!
To beat the monkey,
one must think like a monkey.
Monkey Jack, I challenge
you to a Xiaolin Showdown!
I wager the Mantis Flip Coin
against your Monkey Staff!
That was most unnecessary.
The game is the battle
of the monkey bars.
The first to fall into the
bottomless pit loses!
Let's go!
Xiaolin Showdown!
Omi tokai!
Prepare to be
defeated, monkey boy!
I have been bitten
by Jack Spicer!
Whoa! Monkey Jack
sure is hungry!
I must admit,
monkey Jack is a much
more worthy opponent
than regular Jack.
Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!
Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!
Mantis Flip Coin!
Just give him some 10-buck
runnin' action, all right, Omi?
Banana, please.
Don't you think you should
concentrate on winning first?
Oh, monkey boy, I have
something for you!
I think that move would
have worked on Jack
even if he wasn't a monkey.
You sure made a monkey out of that big ape!
With the best of them!
We have no time for your
much-deserved praises.
We must get to the Eagle Scope!
Jack: Hey! What's goin' on?
Where am I?
Who am I?
- Why do I smell like
- Ew!
Omi: Dojo, where is it?
It's right Not here.
We're too late.
We blew our chance to
rid the world of evil!
We may have lost the battle,
but I have a feeling the
war has only begun.
The fools! Ha ha ha! Now that
we have the Eagle Scope,
they have lost any
chance to defeat us.
But gained every
chance to join us.
Join us? That's ridiculous!
Heh heh heh! No, no, no!
I mean, that's brilliant!
I speak of one monk
in particular.
As a chapter of his life closes,
a new one shall soon open.
Who?! Which one?
The chosen one.
The one who I plan to
let rule by my side
for eternity.
The Monkey Staff
is most relaxing.
I do not know how I ever managed
without a tail before.
Ooh ooh! aaa aaa!
When you're done, mind
if I give it a try?
I've always wanted a tail.
You and me both, partner.
I guess it must be a boy thing.
Now, if you would
kindly look away,
I feel an urge to
scratch in a place
where I have never
scratched before.
Omi: Ooh
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