Xiaolin Showdown (2003) s02e22 Episode Script

The Apprentice

Man: Xiaolin Showdown.
All: Aah! All: Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Man: Xiaolin Showdown.
Master Fung: Today's exercise
will train you to fight
against our newest and
most ingenious enemy.
I am preparing you to
fight Chase Young.
Master Fung: Today's exercise
requires you to race
to the top of these rocks
and use deception
in order to win.
I get it. You want us
to think like an outlaw
so we can beat an outlaw.
Omi, look to your right.
Where? I do not see anything.
How 'bout a hand, pardner?
Aah! Whoa! Uhh!
Aah! Whoa!
I see. You offered me a hand
only to deceive me.
I have learned my lesson.
Omi: I shall never
be deceived again!
Ha ha!
Ow! My leg!
Allow me to help you.
Whoa! Uhh!
Oh, yeah! Whoo hoo!
I am impressed with
your willpower, Kimiko.
It must be painful to
dance on an injured leg.
Her leg isn't injured, Omi.
She was just pullin' yours.
Raimundo: Face it, Omi, you
are just way too trusting.
Ohh, I trust you are
most likely right.
There. With your newly
installed obedience chip,
you'll do all the things
I hate to do, robojack.
Prepare for a life
of chores, homework,
and picking up after me.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Now get me some pudding!
I got a better idea, Jack.
You get me some pudding,
and yourself a new face.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
No, no, you don't get it!
I'm the real Jack, Jack.
You're my robot!
Well, I say I'm the
real Jack, Jack,
and you're my robot.
Am not! Are, too!
Are, too! Am not!
Aah! Aah!
Chase, what an honor to have you
hack into my computer network.
I'm calling because I've decided
to take on an apprentice.
Wow, thanks, but "apprentice"
doesn't quite work for me.
Title-wise, it's a big step
down from evil boy genius.
I'm not offering you anything
but the chance to win a job.
You'll be up against katnappe.
Uhh! Aah!
If you want the job,
you have to beat katnappe
to the next Shen Gong Wu.
UhhYou can count on me!
I always come out on top!
Dojo: The Shen Gong
Wu we're looking for
is called the woozy shooter.
It emits a purple haze
that confuses people
and makes them act goofy,
like game show contestants.
Jack and robojack: Uhh! Aah!
Omi: It looks like Jack Spicer has
already taken in a big whiff!
Aah! Uhh!
You don't know Jack, Jack!
No, you don't know Jack, Jack!
Don't touch me, Jack!
I'm looking for the
"off" switch, Jack!
Raimundo: Is it really possible?
Could Jack have built a robot
that's even more lame than him?
Robojack: Our woozy
shooter is thataway!
Shen GongWu!
Little Clay: Howdy, pardner!
Well, if it ain't my
little, metal mini me.
Ehh! Uhh!
Howdy, pardner!
Your hairclips are so rad.
Thanks! Ow!
I can't believe you
guys fell for that.
Whoa, look at that
cutie behind you.
Ooh! Where?!
Uhh! Uhh!
Step aside, little me,
or prepare to be defeated.
You need not worry, o wise one.
Always honest and trustworthy.
I believe you, my friend.
Waah! Uhh!
You are sonny bony head!
The minibots must have
been reprogrammed,
but by who?!
Katnappe: By me-ow!
I stole them out of
your papa's garage.
Cat-ch me later.
Chase, give us another chance.
2 out of 3 Wu?
You are a pathetic excuse
for an evil boy genius.
And he can't even dress himself!
Look! Different colored socks!
Hey, I just have trouble
with my reds and browns!
Katnappe has won the
apprentice position.
You have won my pity.
So in a way, we're all winners.
I can't believe little Clay
turned on me like that.
You raise 'em the best you can
and they go off and
break your heart!
I say too much TV
and that rap music.
Jack: I know how you feel.
Huh?! Huh?! Huh?!
My robojack just changed
the locks on my evil lair.
My mom is baking him
cookies as we speak.
Jack Spicer.
I know, "prepare
to be defeated."
Go on, put me out of my misery.
You confuse me with your
new battle technique
of self-pity.
My only goal in life was to become
the most evil jerk in the world,
and I even failed at that.
If it is of any comfort,
I will always think
of you as a jerk.
Yeah, me, too.
The stinkiest.
As rotten as road kill in July.
Thanks, guys.
It's good to have enemies
you can count on
at a time like this.
UhhPlease let go.
The 3 second rule!
Uhh! Jack Spicer,
have you ever
considered that perhaps
you were meant to fight
in the name of good?
Ya think so?
Perhaps I could teach you.
Why not? I am pretty desperate.
Ohh, you fill my heart with joy!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
3 second rule!
Master Fung!
Good news! Jack Spicer has agreed
to join the forces of good!
Omi, I am not sure if
Please, Master Fung?
I will teach him,
and as you have often said,
ahh. Very well.
Huh? Huh? Huh?
Ohh, thank you, Master Fung.
I promise I will not let you up.
In every direction.
Omi: Shh.
Rise and sparkle, Jack Spicer!
It is time for your
training to begin!
OhhListen, cheddar head,
I'm really no good unless
I get my 12 hours.
Wake me when lunch is ready.
You leave me no choice.
Arm of tornami!
Jack: Waah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
Before we train you,
we must un-train you.
I never realized being good
was so much about cleanliness.
Wring out the hate,
Jack Spicer
And the soap as well.
We do not want Master Fung to
get a foot fungus! Hee hee!
And don't skimp on the soap.
I like the fresh
smell of spring.
All: Ha ha ha!
Scrub out the
anger, Jack Spicer,
and the years of bitterness!
And use more
anti-bacterial soap!
I'm kind of a germ freak.
Work until the evil
is drained out
and there is nothing
but goodness!
And of course, until the
tea stains are gone,
some of which are
over 1,500 years old.
Like that one, there.
Hey! You did that on purpose!
No, I didn't.
I did that on purpose.
Omi: Well, Jack Spicer?
What did you think of your
first day of training?
Clay: You know, I
hate to admit it,
but havin' Spicer
around ain't so bad.
Especially since he
does all of our chores!
And my underwear has
never smelled so fresh!
Mmm! Clay: Hey! Those are mine!
And my litter box is clean
enough to eat out of.
Good night, little buddy.
Good night, other little buddy.
Hey! Hold on, there!
They may be cute and cuddly,
but they are most dangerous.
Woozy shooter!
How does this go?
Typhoon boom.
No, you're not Water. Heh heh!
I'm Water.
Hee ha ha ha ho ho!
You're not Water! You're a girl.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! Hey, look!
Can anyone else touch their
nose with their tongue?
Oh, no! You are all goofy!
And I am goofy as well!
Goofy and schmoofy!
Whoa! Aah!
Hey, guys. What's going on?
4 monks down,
and one whiny geek to go.
I'm not whiny!
Woozy Shooter!
Reversing Mirror.
Ha ha ha! Whoa!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Jack Spicer, you have done well.
Now, let us kick some
mini butt together!
Tornado strike Water!
Hee hee hee hee!
Judallet flip Fire!
Kimiko-bot, time for a makeover,
kung fu style.
Seismic kick Earth!
How about a dose of your
own medicine, little Clay?
Oof! Oof! Oof! Oof!
Typhoon boom Wind!
Time to show mini
me the real me.
Heh heh heh!
Omi: Master Fung.
Once again good has
triumphed over evil,
and we owe our victory
to the brave actions
of the reformed Jack Spicer.
Master Fung: I see.
And where exactly is Spicer
and the Shen Gong Wu?
I trusted him.
I have to admit, Spicer,
I'm impressed.
Me, too.
It's so unlike you, Jack,
to do something right.
You've proven yourself.
I welcome you as
my new apprentice.
Ohh, thank you, thank you!
All I can say is,
Jack Spicer has arrived!
3 second rule. Aah!
First Spicer, then cat litter.
Why do we have to
put up with her?
Because she is injured.
And it is the way
of the Xiaolin monk
to help those in need.
That's right.
Listen to the cute one.
What? Is it my fault
I am so cute?
Katnappe? What are you doing up?
You must rest your injured paw.
Oh, heh, right. Well
I was justLonely.
Then you will be glad to know
that I have the minibots
to keep you company.
This is so Thoughtful of you.
How can I ever repay you?
Perhaps you can turn
to the side of good?
What if I found a way to
return all the Shen Gong Wu
that Jack stole?
I know where he keeps them
why would you help me?
Because you are so, so cute!
So I have been told.
But if I help you,
you have to keep
our plan a secret.
The others would never trust me.
Time for my revenge,
Jack Spicer!
Aah! I did not want
that much revenge!
That's just one of
his stupid robots.
Now for the Wu.
Looks like a most
difficult safe to split.
To crack.
But it is Jack's safe.
Duh! 3.
Well, look who's here.
Leader of the kung
fools and his pet.
Robo-Jacks, attack!
Hey, behind you, Jack!
Thanks, Jack.
Jack Spicer!
I challenge you to a
Xiaolin Showdown.
The game is truth or lies.
Last to fall wins.
My Lotus Twister against
your Silk Spinner.
Let's go!
Xiaolin Showdown!
Both: Gong yi tan pai!
Jack Spicer,
telling the truth is
definitely not your element.
Yeah, but sneaky is.
Jack Spicer, truth or lie:
You seek world domination
because you feel
small and worthless?
No. Truth!
My turn.
Do you work so hard
as a Xiaolin monk
because you know you're an
oddball geek with a big head?
Ha! That is most ridiculous.
But you do have a big ego.
No! My ego is the right size.
You lied!
Silk Spinner!
Did you steal the Shen Gong Wu
because you feel that
you would fail at good,
just as you have failed at evil?
Jack Spicer, fail? Lie.
No. Truth.
Truth, and more truth.
Whaaah! Lotus Twister.
Did you really believe me
when I agreed to turn good?
Or did you just take me in
because you wanted to
prove your friends wrong?
I believed you,
and you disappointed me, deeply.
Really? Well, you
shouldn't have.
I was planning to turn
on you all along.
Omi: You lie.
You did try.
Katnappe, I have defeated Jack.
And you have escaped with
all the Shen Gong Wu.
Nice work, my little
evil freakbots.
I say we take the Wu
and have a purr-fect
evil weekend.
Hey! Oof!
What's going on here?
I knew you would twice-cross me,
so I twice-crossed you first!
That's double-cross,
but you get the idea.
That is why I asked Kimiko to
reprogram the bots for me.
Uhh! I can't believe it.
Deceived by a gnome.
Hee hee! I did it!
I am an accomplished
Xiaolin liar.
You had some day there, champ.
You lied your head off,
broke into a lair,
cracked open a safe, and
Had a girl beat up.
Yes. Fighting on the side
of good is most rewarding.
Our young apprentice has
made remarkable progress.
So, is he ready to join us?
Not yet, but soon.
He has just tasted evil.
In time, he will
learn to crave it.
Omi: I have 4 aces.
He is lying.
The dude is playing us.
We got him this time.
Read them and begin
your weeping.
That's read 'em and weep,
and I'm about to.
Oh, how do you win every hand?
It is most simple. I cheat.
Heh heh! No! I am a liar
when I say I cheat.
How do we know you're
not lying to us now?
Because you are all my friends.
I could never lie to my friends.
I am master of deception. Ha ha!
Let's play again!
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