Years and Years (2019) s01e02 Episode Script
Episode 2
1 You watch me.
I'll be back.
- She is a monster.
- I think she's brilliant.
She's calling him Lincoln.
Congratulations, Great-Grandmother.
These people are refugees, which means they're allowed to seek asylum.
My name is Viktor.
Viktor Goraya.
I'm transhuman.
I'm going to escape this thing and become digital.
- Come back to bed.
- You have sex with your robot! Darling! Darling! America, they've fired a nuclear missile.
[NUCLEAR EXPLOSION.]
What happens now?! [ALARM RINGS IN DISTANCE.]
All right, stop! You can stop the alarm, thank you.
Oh, God.
I give up.
Signor! You can stop the alarm, Signor! - SIGNOR: Alarm stopped.
- Thank you.
The last time we had an alarm in this kitchen, we all thought the world was coming to an end, so that's quite enough.
Do you wish to be reminded of the reason for the alarm? Oh, well, yes.
I was coming to that.
The alarm is a reminder for Edith Lyons [SHE GASPS.]
Oh, yes! Yes! Call the family.
Oh, I know.
Calling family link.
- Is that right? - Calling family link.
We're all here, Gran.
We're waiting.
It's a big moment.
Some of us have got work to do.
Happy as ever, Celeste.
It's lovely to hear your voice, Muriel.
Where are the boys? Are they with us? Dan, are you on the link? Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
I'm here.
Hey! What are you doing? No, no, no, no! We're not No! [LAUGHTER.]
Just don't! I'm glad we haven't got vision.
Are you with us, Rosie? I keep telling the boys we all used to watch TV on Saturday mornings.
- Doesn't exist any more.
- Well, this is better than cartoons.
Shush! She's on! ON TV: We can interview someone who was actually a witness to that terrible event on Hong Sha, political activist Edith Lyons.
Tell me a little bit about that time.
Oh.
Six months ago, we all thought we were going to die - That's what I just said.
- Shush, Gran! and then we realised the day after Hiroshima, what happened sun came up, people got out of bed, they went to work, a nuclear bomb exploded, and the West just carried on.
And China backed down, but with 45,000 dead.
And that's why we need these sanctions against America.
They turned a trade war into an actual war.
She doesn't understand a thing.
And who pays the price? Me.
Your auntie's an idiot.
You were in Vietnam.
Is that right? For the explosion.
Then we took a ship and we sailed towards Hong Sha.
We took this footage with drones.
Look, there were people! The bomb goes off and that's all they leave behind, is the shadow.
What's she like? Edith? Bit serious.
- Yeah, but when you were kids.
- Yeah.
Serious even then.
I don't know.
She's older than I am.
She was more friends with Stephen, really.
We went Interrailing once, but she wanted to sleep on beaches and go to markets and find things to smoke.
I just wanted a nice hotel.
Is she rich? I'd like to know.
Why do you think? - Cos she's famous.
- Not really.
This is Channel India.
There must be five of us watching.
She lives on a boat.
Yeah, but there's like 15 onboard.
Bet it's stinking.
If I could ask, what's the range of your drones? What does that matter? We estimate they've got a range of five miles, so So you took your ship five miles off the coast of Hong Sha within two days of the explosion? - What? - She said 50 miles.
She said she was safe.
Were you poisoned by radiation? I think you should focus on the victims within China itself.
We calculate, at the very least, you were exposed to one gray of radiation, so the damage has been done.
You might have limited your lifespan to another 20 years.
So? That could take me to 60.
Then it's true.
Yeah.
She tells us on TV?! Oh, my God, she's an idiot! Gran, stop watching! Turn it off.
- Signor, call Edith Lyons now.
- End link.
Calling Edith Lyons.
Is she dying? Is Auntie Edith dying? Hm? Eventually.
VOICE MAIL: This is Edith's phone.
Leave a message.
Edith, we're all watching.
You promised me you were safe.
Yeah, thanks very much, Edith.
What a way to let us know, eh, on TV? Gran? You okay? Okay.
That might be true, but never mind me.
Hong Sha Dao will have consequences for all of us, and it terrifies me because the world keeps getting hotter and faster and madder, and we don't pause.
We don't think.
We don't learn.
We just keep racing to the next disaster, and I keep wondering what's next.
Where are we going? When's it ever going to stop? President Pence has defied the United Nations.
But we're making it worse.
The more we impose sanctions, the more America swings to the right.
Okay, Putin, president for life.
Xi Jinping, president for life.
And now, Pence just a puppet.
Trump is still in charge.
These old men are in power forever.
[CHEERING.]
Remind us what charities you've been playing for.
Mine's a children's hospice in Coventry.
And mine's to build a statue for all the horses killed in World War I.
The bird population across Britain has fallen by 50%, because the insect population has fallen by 80%.
That's 80% in 30 years.
Happy birthday to you [CHEERING.]
So that's it.
I'm out of work.
My bosses are basically Americans.
With all these sanctions, they're going to withdraw.
- You'll get a payoff, though.
- They're saying no.
They're saying, "Take us to court.
Tough!" I need to free up some capital, so we'll have to sell this house.
We're downsizing.
We just need somewhere small.
I'm not moving! I'm not! It's a phenomenon that's being called "Towntime".
The 2000s saw a huge move to work from home, but people at home basically eat and masturbate.
So, Towntime calls for a return to the office job, Monday morning, 9am.
It's my honour to declare the drone park officially open! [APPLAUSE, DRONES BUZZ.]
Good luck! Bon voyage! Don't go to my house! I'm not in! As MP to the Northern Powerhouse, I promise that for every job lost, there will be a job gained.
This fleet of drones will be the pride of Manchester.
As you can see [SCREAMING.]
Oh, my God! Have you just seen? My MP's been decapitated! It's terrible news about Archie, but I can't help feeling it's symbolic.
I hereby declare, with the greatest of respect, that I will be standing in the by-election for his constituency.
Seriously? I'm watching her now, Viv Rook.
So, she's going to be my MP? No, she isn't.
I told you.
Don't you dare vote for her.
I will give you money not to vote.
All right, then.
That's a deal.
Right, got to go.
Pay me in cash.
Bye! You know she owns us, don't you? Viv Rook? Now they've privatised housing, we're part of Stonerock Holdings.
And on the board [COMPUTER BEEPS.]
Oh, my God, she's my boss! This is my chance at last to honour my country and to serve it.
[KNOCK ON WINDOW.]
Your greenhouse, it's not very safe.
[SHE CHUCKLES.]
People have been saying that for years.
I got a man in to look at it, but part of it fell on his head.
He never came back.
You should be careful, though.
Viktor, all of the money in this house was my father's.
And he lost it in 1976.
We haven't been able to afford this place ever since.
Let it rot gently.
I'll survive.
Dan said about your parents Yeah They reported you to the police.
In fairness, they thought it was their duty.
They're Christians.
I mean, it genuinely hurts them.
Do you forgive them? I have to try.
Rubbish.
They're disgusting.
Your mother and father are disgusting people.
Is that clear? I'm not without prejudice myself.
I don't like Londoners.
And I don't like people who wear sunglasses indoors.
But you you're beautiful, in the eyes of Christ and in the eyes of myself.
Is that clear? Have you got that? Yes.
And you're very welcome here for the rest of your life.
Oh, don't cry! You're not going to get a hug or anything.
Thank you.
I thought this would be nice just the two of us.
Hey, now that you're working, we can be ladies who lunch.
- That's great.
Thanks very much.
- Can I take a drinks order? We'll just have a look.
Give us a couple of minutes? I want you to explain.
Your dad said you offered to pay rent, but there really is no need, honestly.
I've got work until the autumn.
Height of Essence isn't pulling out until October, so there's no emergency.
We won't starve.
And after that Well Well, maybe you can give me advice.
When I went to university, they said accountancy was a job for life.
But now, thanks to your lot, artificial intelligence can do my job in one second flat.
I'm going to be quite literally redundant in every way.
- Will you call me? - Sorry? - Will you call me? - You mean telephone you? - Yes.
- When? Now.
- But you're sitting right here.
- This is why I wanted to have lunch.
Will you just phone me? Now? [PHONE RINGS.]
- Hello, Bethany speaking.
- Hello.
- Are you phoning for Bethany? - Yes.
- What are you doing? - This is Bethany.
Can you hear me? Well, you're right in front of me.
But can you hear me down the phone? Oh, my gosh! This is me, on the phone.
I had it implanted.
My hand is the phone.
I can walk, and talk, cos I'm on the phone, the phone inside my hand.
I am the phone.
This is what phones are going to be from now on.
I have integrated.
Thank you for your call.
Subdermal implants.
They charge themselves with motion like a self-winding watch.
And it's on the 22 network.
I get signal across 95% of UK mainland, 98 by next year.
When I phoned you, it was ringing.
You were ringing.
That's the speaker.
- So small! - Okay, but When did you get this done? That course in Winchester? I had one finger done every night.
I still need to choose a handset, to phone out.
Look.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hello? Hi! Okay.
But, look, I can't believe you had surgery without telling me! Skinplants, not surgery.
And I knew you'd be cross.
But I'm 18, and you had that tattoo when you were 18, and it's the same sort of thing.
And I wanted to ask you - Will you do me a favour? - What? - Will you tell Dad? - Oh, sweet.
Please, will you tell Dad for me? Good evening.
Good evening, sir.
Can I get a litre of non milk? Thanks.
- Anything else? - Er Thought a shag might be nice.
Nothing I can do about that, sir.
Oh! Well, I'll just go home all alone, then.
Well, you're a bit ugly, sir.
- I am.
- It's very sad.
Goodnight, sir.
Goodnight.
[MOANING.]
- [THEY LAUGH.]
- All right What are you doing? Ah! Get off! Get off! - Yeah.
Go on, go on, go on.
- You want it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah - [CRASHING.]
[HE LAUGHS.]
[MOANING, LAUGHTER.]
ON TV: And next month, it will be one year since Hong Sha Dao, and the shock waves continue around the world, with instability still rocking the banking system.
Thanks, but I'm not stopping.
I haven't got long.
I'm supposed to be on lunch duty, so Well, there it is.
Yeah.
Didn't even miss it.
It only cost 20 quid, that.
You're the only man I know with ten different watches.
- You don't wear the same shirt - BOTH: all the time, do you? So how are things? Okay? Yeah, not bad.
Nice and busy.
What about you? Hm? How is he? The boy? He's only six years younger.
- That is so hot! - Oh, stop it.
I just thought if you could sign those papers.
We're trying to get Viktor this Leave to Remain thing.
And if I'm divorced, it might help.
I was honestly bringing you the watch Dan! You shat on me in front of everyone.
Remember? So I don't have the slightest wish to stay married to you, OK? I'll sign it.
Sorry.
It's almost a year ago now.
Well, two weeks' time.
Gran's still insisting on a party.
That's one thing I won't miss.
Standing there freezing politely.
I keep telling her, it's not just her birthday weekend now, it's commemorating 40,000 dead.
- And it's a barbecue.
- Yeah, I know.
[THEY LAUGH.]
[HE LAUGHS.]
So what's the status now then, hmm? HE SPEAKS WITH ACCENT: Viktor.
My name is Viktor.
Still classified as an asylum seeker.
That hasn't changed.
What, and he's allowed to live with you? Yep.
Mm-hm.
The house is a mess now.
It would drive you mad.
HE SPEAKS WITH ACCENT: Viktor! It's still tough.
He's not allowed a job or anything.
I mean, he's working part time to stop him going mad, but it's all cash in hand.
He's got a degree in economics, but he's stuck working in the petrol station.
I tell you what, though.
Do you know what the good thing is? He gets free pasties when the sell-by date is up.
- They give them away! - Oh, you love pasties.
I do! I get free pasties.
Well, look.
Um, I am glad you're happy.
Thank you.
Really, I am.
Thanks.
Hiya.
Sorry, my app's frozen.
It's pump number two.
Thanks.
Uh-huh.
£120.
Thank you.
Anything else, sir? No, that's everything.
Thanks.
This weekend will be marked by services up and down the country to remember Hong Sha Dao on the first anniversary of the explosion.
And American embassies have been surrounded by crowds protesting at the events of this time last year.
Campaigning will be suspended for the day.
My thoughts and prayers are with Beijing.
Hey! Happy Birthday.
Although technically it's not till tomorrow, so if you don't survive the night, I'll have it back! Now then, sweetheart, if your mum and dad want to move house, you can always come and live here, can't you? Who loves you? I do.
Oh, well, that helps enormously.
Well done.
Happy birthday, Muriel.
Did you hear, Bethany got promoted? - I didn't know that.
- Isn't that good? Marvellous, whatever that job is.
She's data mining.
Yeah, I know what it is, but I don't know what it is! I have a rule.
No-one is allowed to stare at my daughter's hand.
Beth, show me your hand.
Right.
Hand down again.
That's it's.
I've had enough of people staring.
It turns out the calls are twice the price.
You didn't ask about that.
Where's Rosie? She's not here yet? She said she'd be late.
Lincoln had a bit of a tum.
Now I looked and looked and looked for chocolate, but you just can't find it any more.
I thought, this year, no TV.
Even when the boys arrive.
TV off, because that thing scared us to death last year.
I mean, let's be honest, it was terrifying.
I actually thought I could see you all perish.
My own family, right in front of me so I might have said some silly things.
I know I did and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
Well, now, maybe you won't need to stay away for a whole year.
We didn't do it on purpose.
Been busy, that's all.
Oh.
Stephen said not so busy.
What about the house? Is there any news? Um, that Mr Yamagata liked it, so I think we've found a buyer.
Hey, I was going to ask, do you think I should move my money with all this fuss about the banks? Er, financial advice off me costs £300 an hour, thank you very much.
Nah, you should be all right.
You haven't got 85 grand, have you? God, no.
That'd be nice.
Anything less than 85, you're insured by the government.
- you should be fine.
- I said that'd be nice, not because I want him for his money.
Just the sex.
Endless sex.
- Thank you.
- Once you've been loved by a Lyons.
Oh, my God! Is it bad, though, for the banks? It's these sanctions against America.
It's ridiculous.
Might as well take out sanctions against ourselves.
We are American.
Our business is American, our culture's American.
We're certainly not European, are we? - [PHONE VIBRATES.]
- Oh.
Oh.
Here we go, Gran.
- That's Rosie.
- Right now, Muriel.
Put that down.
Let's go out and see her.
Come on.
She knows her way in.
She's here every week.
- Come on! Let's go and say hello.
- Let's go, let's go.
[HE WHISTLES.]
- Hi, Gran! - Hello.
Here we are, then.
Surprise! [THEY LAUGH.]
Oh! Aw! Oh, you silly girl! Oh! Your mother should be here.
Careful, she's radioactive! All right.
[SHE LAUGHS.]
We can't just have any old barbecue, not with Edith home.
- Let's make it nice and special.
- Oh, cos Edith's special.
She's so special.
We are just dirt.
I love Edith more than anything in the world don't you? You'll get a clip in a minute.
Seven years.
It's been ages.
Does it feel weird being back? Little bit, yeah.
Viktor's nice.
Sexy! Bethany's a bit odd.
You know she wants be a robot.
Mmm.
Am I all right, staying at yours? Cos Gran says I can stay here.
Oh, my God! You'd die in this place.
Course you can.
You can get to know the boys.
- How long for? - Dunno.
Not sailing off on a mission? Er, yeah.
It's all gone a bit sour.
It's so stupid.
It's that footage we took at Hong Sha.
People think we sold it for lots of money.
- Do they? - That's terrible.
Ah.
Trouble is, some people on the boat think we should, so I might just step away and have a think.
And it's weird.
You know this radiation thing.
- You feeling all right, though? - Yeah.
But one day, the clock's ticking, maybe it's time I did something with my life instead of shouting.
Just not sure what.
So come on, Edith.
Tell me stories of the high seas.
What's the best place you think you've been? Oh, don't do that! It's a bit like an interview, Gran.
Well, I don't know where to start.
You've been away for so long.
You see online? The North Pole melted.
Like, it's gone.
- You should tell people about that.
- Well, yes, I could but I did.
There's not much point any more.
Oh, don't say that.
No, but really, no, like, we keep saying you've got ten more years to sort out climate change, you've got ten more years to sort out flooding, you've got ten more years to sort out the rainforest.
We've been saying that for 30 years.
But it's too late.
We've run out of time.
Everyone knows it.
You can recycle and campaign and go on marches.
We are going to flood and burn and starve.
And we won't die.
I'm not saying that the human race is gonna carry on, living on plateaus.
[SHE LAUGHS.]
Like shepherds, little villages, maybe with a computer in a hut, you can go and visit once a week, and then go back to growing your little patch of corn.
You might be digging out some rocks and singing Elvis to yourself, or the Beatles, but you won't know who they are any more.
Just folk songs from long ago.
- So nice to have you back.
- [THEY LAUGH.]
Edith! Don't listen, kids.
I'm saying, let's have fun.
Sod it.
Enjoy it now.
Cos I got this in Japan! Slightly under the counter it's that new synthetic alcohol.
Oh, my God! It's supposed to be lethal.
Yeah, but that's the point.
That it's designed to cut out all the by-products, so you just get completely plastered with no hangover.
- Does it work? - Well, Celeste, there's only one way to find out! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink He sings the songs that remind him of the good times He sings the songs that remind him of the better times I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down Oh, Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get [SHE SNORES LIGHTLY.]
I think that alcohol needs a bit of work.
I looked it up like, the wind direction in the days after Hong Sha, and your angle of approach, fallout patterns, and things.
I think you got a bigger dose than you said.
I think you might have ten years.
Did you know you can live forever? [HE SPEAKS HIS OWN LANGUAGE.]
That's right, darling.
What's he saying? [HE MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
[HE GROANS.]
Ooh, no, no! You'll drop it.
It Give it here.
Don't move.
Stay there.
Oh! Well, that's got to be fake.
Fake news.
Bang on midnight.
"Message from the Home Office.
" As if they'd text.
"Our records show you may not have leave to remain in the UK.
" You should tell your friends that's not funny.
Black coffee, I think.
I'll see you next week.
And take care.
I'm not sure you're fit to drive.
The focus group can officially declare alcosynth does not work! Oh, God, I feel bad! And sort out that text.
Tell them it should be illegal using the words Home Office like that.
Will do.
See you, Gran.
- I think it's real.
- Yeah.
I looked online.
There's many people saying text at midnight.
Well, we've been privatised with the same system date changes at midnight, automated texts go ping.
It's real.
Don't worry.
I'll phone Yvonne.
Honestly, I'm fine.
Don't go to any fuss.
I can sleep on a settee.
No, there's plenty of space, cos Lincoln, if you put your things in Lee's room, then you two can share and if you're really, really good, we could get bunk beds.
I'm having the top bunk! Right, go and put your clothes in that bottom drawer.
Lee, go and make some room, five minutes.
Why do kids love bunk beds? Knock knock! Only me.
Careful, got sore heads.
My sister tried to poison us last night.
This is Edith.
This is Lesley from down the hall.
- Ah, the missing sister.
- Hello.
Aren't you supposed to be dying? Well, I mean, aren't we all, in the end? Well, you look good on it! I just got that coupon.
It's good till Friday.
I can't stop.
I'm on the 3.
15.
See you tonight, though, yeah? Yeah.
And that's Poppy.
She's six months old, aren't you, Poppy? Hello! Hello.
I'll leave you to it.
Good luck.
Hope you don't die.
Thanks! I'll do my best.
That was her.
That's Poppy.
- What do you mean? - I told you.
Poppy Don't you read any of your e-mails? The little girl.
The Poppy.
That was her.
So they did a scan and Poppy had a gap in her spine, just like me, - so they went in and fixed it.
- In the womb? Yeah.
It's amazing, isn't it? They've been doing that for years but now they can grow the nerve tissue.
They can cultivate it inside and fix it completely.
I mean, she's only six months, we'll see how it goes, but really, that's it spina bifida cured, almost.
And is that okay? It's brilliant.
I mean, look at her.
She's gorgeous.
But she was gorgeous before.
Gives me the shivers a bit.
Can't say that to Lesley, cos once they start fixing people, where do they stop? Too tall? Too short? Do they want to fix me? I think I'm brilliant.
I don't want fixing.
How much did it cost? Well, that's the thing.
She was on the programme, so it was free.
But the NHS can't afford stuff like that.
So who's going to get fixed? Only the billionaires.
So you're worried about people you don't like, buying something you don't want.
Yeah, I think.
Is that right? - I don't know.
- [LAUGHS.]
God, the world got complicated! Hester Babatunde? The phrase to watch out for is "live discreetly".
Technically, homosexuality isn't illegal in Ukraine, so if they say you can live discreetly, they can say you're safe to be returned.
You mean, I should be not discreet with this? Indiscreet.
It's not the gay thing.
You got out because they registered - him as a dissident.
- Unofficially.
We can't prove that, so I'm going to use everything.
I could wear a dress! That would help! Viktor Goraya? - Right.
- You got everything? Yep.
Good luck.
[HE EXHALES.]
[HE EXHALES.]
They've detained him.
I'm sorry.
I need to get back to the office.
I can make an appeal by six o'clock.
- Sorry, where is he? - He's been detained.
Right, so where is he now? Back there in a holding room but then they're going to move him.
What do you mean, detained? Detained for how long? Well, he's been detained that's it.
That's why I need to get back.
- You mean he's been arrested? - Well, no.
But in effect, yes.
What happened? They did what? They say he's been working at a petrol station for money, so he's broken his conditions.
I'm not even going to ask you if that's true.
I'm just going back to work.
Okay, so where is he now? He's in a holding room, but then they're taking him to Three Bridges.
- That's near Gatwick.
- Taking him away? - Yeah.
- Where to? It's a centre called the Three Bridges, near Gatwick.
Right, okay, so, well can I see him now? He hasn't gone already, has he? Can I see him? - They won't allow it.
- But I work for the council.
I'm not just anyone.
I'm in housing, I move people all the time.
I know the system.
I'm allowed to see him.
Daniel, you can't.
Listen to me.
Trust me.
Don't piss them off.
Okay, so what happens? What are they going to do? - They want to deport him.
- No, but they tortured him.
You know, in the Ukraine they tortured him.
So where is he? They're taking him to a place called the Three Bridges Centre, in London.
It's just outside Gatwick.
They're taking his phone off him.
But that's not legal.
They can remove the phone if it has a camera or internet access which is every phone in the world.
Who's got his phone? How are they allowed to have his phone? That phone belongs to him, so who's got it right now? Where is it? I need to get back to the office.
He's going where? Three Bridges.
It's a centre like Yarl's Wood, near Gatwick.
He's on his way now.
It's ridiculous.
I've got it here.
It says, "Three Bridges is a removal centre.
" - Does that mean? - It's near Gatwick.
You go there to be removed.
They can't deport someone in a single day.
Oh, oh, your little world.
He's not that far from you.
I'll be there by half six.
Get us a pizza.
We should be moving in a month or so.
The first man came back, Mr Yamagata.
He offered the asking price, so off we go.
Oh, except Ruby.
I'm not moving.
I'm really not.
Pizza with lemon does not work.
That house in Chancellor Row fell through, so we might have to rent for a couple of months, which is a bit of a hassle, but gives me time to look for work.
How much did this place go for? 2.
6 million.
Oh, my God! London! [PHONE RINGS.]
Hold on.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, on, on.
Hold on.
Hello? Hello? Hey! Guess where I am.
I know where you are.
I'm like a world expert on Three Bridges now.
You okay? Whose phone is this? They give you a phone with £10 credit.
Not allowed my old one.
No, I know, I know.
But what's happened to your proper phone? Who's got it? Did they take it? Did they bag it? Did they give you a receipt? Because that's really not their property.
- Do you know where it is? - I don't really care about the phone.
No.
You okay? Yeah.
I didn't even say goodbye.
So anyway, I'm down here in London.
I'm not far away.
I'm staying with Stephen.
I've got your clothes.
Just shoved them in.
First thing tomorrow, I'll make an appointment to see you.
- You can't.
- Well, tough because I can, and I will.
It takes 24 hours to make an appointment, and they're flying me out at 7.
00am.
It's 12 hours' time.
No, Yvonne's put in an appeal.
Doesn't matter.
She's put in an appeal.
That's the system now.
They reverted the law back to 2014.
You get deported.
Then you can appeal.
Well, they can't do that.
Okay.
Tell them.
7.
00am? Yeah.
Where to, Kiev? - Yeah.
- Right, then.
Well, you go, and then I'll get you back.
Yes, please.
- Hey.
- [GIGGLING.]
Hi there.
Shut up.
Go to sleep.
- What's all this? - Nothing.
- Is the bed okay? - It's fine.
- Oh, were the boys making trouble? - No.
[SHE LAUGHS.]
Is there something wrong? No, it's fine.
Just [WHISPERS.]
This is nice.
That's all.
Now sssh! - Aw! - [EDITH LAUGHS.]
- Aw! - Shut up! I haven't done this for years.
Remember that caravan? All the food went off.
Do you remember? Mum was livid! Happy days.
Yeah.
Night, then.
Welcome home.
Right.
- What are you going to do? - Go back home.
Get him back.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hi there.
You okay? Come outside quickly! Come and look outside now.
Danny said Viktor's been flown out.
He's phoned the Home Office but just ended up talking to a clerk.
Yes, yes, yes.
Edith, come outside now! I'm here.
Can you see me? - What's all the fuss? - Oh, my God.
Wait till you see.
Here it comes.
It's hilarious.
Look.
Look, it's the Battle Bus! It's the Rookmobile! It's Vivienne Rook! Oh, my God.
I've read about her.
Yeah, she's on TV all the time, you missed it! She's got her own party, the Four Stars! Hello, Viv! Hello! Yes, woo! She sounds like a monster.
Oh, I know, I wouldn't vote for her.
She's horrific.
I read somewhere that she acts all normal, but she's a millionaire.
Go on, Viv! Whoo! Rosie, I don't think she's actually on the bus.
Yeah, I know.
She won't set foot in this place.
Been Labour for 500 years.
Mind you, nice to have a woman, though.
Go on, Viv! So who's he got out there? His mum and dad.
But they're Eastern Orthodox, and when the Russians occupied Ukraine, they named him to the police as gay.
That's what people do there.
His own parents! I mean, he's got friends, - but they're all too scared.
- [PHONE RINGS.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh! Here I am! I'm alive.
I did it! I'm here.
Are you all right? What time is it there? - Where are you? - I'm fine.
I'm really fine.
We're going.
Don't mind us.
We'll leave you to it.
Well done, Viktor.
He'll get you home.
Hi there! Thank you.
I'll come round later, yeah, Fran? All right, all right.
Right, bye-bye.
Oh, my God.
Look at your face! Where are you now? Where's that? Claude's.
I'm staying with Claude.
He's there in the kitchen, just to warn you.
Do not whack it out! - I wasn't going to.
- Well, I would! [THEY LAUGH.]
You all right, though? I mean, you're not under arrest, are you? No, it's fine, I promise.
One good thing, Britain deported 200 people in one day.
55 to Kiev.
So you know, that's a lot of people.
- It helps.
- But you're on a government list.
I don't want to fight.
I just want to go.
Till then, I will do what they say.
I will live discreetly.
Live discreetly.
Until I come home.
I could fly out.
- Is that discreet? - I don't know.
Is it? I don't know.
God.
Just for now, we will be discreet.
I love you.
Yeah.
I love you.
But can they listen to this? I don't know.
[CLAMOURING AND CHANTING.]
This is a different country to the one I left.
No-one used to care about by-elections.
It's gone mad.
Yeah.
We're all bloody furious now.
- What about? - Everything.
I'm not getting in your way at home? Just cos you keep cleaning up after me, like, every time I make a move, you're there, cleaning, and I just well, I just wondered if you'd rather that I went.
No, no.
I love having you there.
It's just Well, you know with Mum when she was on chemo, the drugs are radioactive, so, "Don't touch any urine, don't touch vomit, "don't touch any bodily fluids" and it kind of got to me.
I mean, I was with her all day, every day, and I wore gloves, scrubbed everything, but You're not radioactive, are you? No! No, I'm not.
I just keep thinking of the boys, you know, and I wouldn't do that to you, I swear.
It doesn't work like that, anyway.
You get more radiation off rocks.
- Oh, my God! - [APPLAUSE.]
Go on, Vivienne! - Are you on her side now? - No, I haven't made my mind up yet.
Go on, Viv! Woo! [CHANTING AND CLAMOURING.]
[BOOING.]
I think that your party has let us down, Stan, just like the Conservatives, just like all of you, because Europe is punishing us.
They're imposing embargoes, export tariffs and border restrictions.
We're fed up, and what are you doing? Nothing.
Export tariffs? - Yes.
- They impose export tariffs? It's a disgrace.
What's an export tariff? I mean, tariffs in general.
See, if they impose an export tariff, then they would pay the export tariff themselves.
We don't pay.
They do.
Do you actually understand that? [LAUGHTER.]
- No, but I - You see, I don't think you understand anything.
This is very detailed and precise information, and you don't even begin to understand it.
You're just saying words, Mrs Rook.
[DISSENTING NOISES.]
And now, closing remarks from Vivian Rook, Four Star Party.
Thank you.
And thank you to my fellow candidates.
I've been humbled tonight.
I've learnt a lot.
I certainly know what an export tariff is now, although I can't help noticing that a woman is not allowed one mistake.
Oh, don't do that! I wonder.
We've been asked about strategies, policies.
I've been accused of sounding vague.
I think I am, perhaps, cautious.
No, I'm scared.
I am.
I am terrified, given the size of the task in front of me.
Has any of you seen one of these? They've been on the telly highly illegal, smuggled in from Taiwan.
I will be surrendering this to the police when we are done here tonight.
But for those of you who don't know, this is called a blink.
A blink is a weapon created by cyber terrorists.
And it goes.
- [BLEEP.]
- Blink.
[CROWD MURMUR.]
It takes out every online device - She can't do that! - within a 30-metre radius.
[INDISTINCT OUTRAGE.]
If you don't mind, I'm talking, - You can't do that! - and if you can't manage without - your phone for five minutes - That's ridiculous! while we talk to each other face-to-face - You can't just do that! - like human beings You have no right.
what is the point of anything, sir? Disgusting! Because I would go further.
I would legalise the blink.
I would give one of these to every parent, every teacher, every school.
I would activate the blink in every classroom, every home, every day, because do you know what I did? I looked on my goddaughter's phone.
She is six years old.
She is six years old.
And do you know what I saw on the phone of that six-year-old girl? On the phone of every six-year-old girl in the country? On the phone of every six-year-old girl and boy in the entire civilised world, I saw this.
[GROANS OF DISGUST.]
- Hey, this is cheating! - Oh, God! We are not allowed to use visual aids.
Get a new plan, Stan! This is the filth on the phones.
Look at it! Look at it! Because our children do nonstop porn streaming into our children's eyes all day.
You there, laughing, mate are you proud of this nonstop porn for kids? - That's nice.
- Amazing.
Let me guarantee, as your MP, I will go to Parliament on your behalf and I will find those CEOs in California, those high-tech giants, those men, and I will bring them back here not to appear in front of a Select Committee I will bring them here to stand trial.
I will bring them here to find them guilty.
I will bring them here to jail them.
Are you with me? CROWD: Yes! [APPLAUSE.]
Well, then, ladies and gentlemen tweet that.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.]
[CHANTING.]
I thought you hated her.
Tear the world down.
Ha-ha-ha! Thanks for coming.
[INDISTINCT.]
Nice to meet you.
Oh, my God, wait there.
One minute, one minute.
Excuse me! Excuse me! Hi.
Hi.
Oh, Viv, hi.
For the kids, do you mind? Yes.
Sure, go ahead, it's all right.
Here we go.
I'm fed up of it now.
Finish off tomorrow.
Going to bed? Yeah.
The money's in.
Thank you, Mr Yamagata.
Ruby's right.
I don't want to move either.
Still, Maddy says there might be jobs with Simon Harris.
It's worth a try.
Coming up? Signor, lights out downstairs.
AUTOMATED: Lights out, ground floor.
Goodnight, Stephen.
[PHONE RINGS.]
[PHONE RINGS.]
- It's my phone.
- It's mine as well.
- It's from Sally and Tanya.
- Me too.
And Richard Peel.
What time is it in Tokyo? Must be about 9am.
Just opened.
Do you think it's true? The Japanese Exchange Group has issued a statement of no confidence in Foster Foster Drake.
Foster Foster Drake is the second-largest investment bank in America.
The JXS maintains that Foster Foster Drake will be filing for a Chapter 11 bankruptcy as soon as trading opens on the east coast.
The online bank's gone down.
Must be everyone.
But Foster Foster Drake doesn't own the Alliance.
No, no.
We'll be fine.
It's connected, though.
They ghost a lot of services.
And you left all that money in one account? I just I don't move money till the morning.
That's what I do.
Every morning, I have a coffee, and if money needs moving, that's when I do it.
Nothing we can do until the banks open.
I can sort it then.
Okay? - I'm going to the bank.
- You can't take out 1.
2 million.
I know.
I'm going to move it.
I always move the money in the morning.
I'm not saying it's your fault.
Celeste, this is the kind of thing that causes a run on the bank.
Yes, and if there's a run on the bank, I am running.
- Is that thing working? - There's no reply.
Keep trying.
It's Bruce McNolte.
Patch him through to me.
He's not just a friend, Bruce.
He's a mate.
I wrote that reference for his son, and if he could just backdate, that's all, if he just backdates the transfer by one day Oh, my God! It's not We'll be all right.
Come on.
We're - We're not just any old customers.
- One at a time.
- I'm sorry.
Just one at a time.
- They're going in one at a time.
Sorry, could you just keep back? Yeah.
This is us.
Just hold on.
Wait here.
[EXCITED CHATTER.]
Just keep yourselves back.
Sorry.
Hi.
This is a bit of a mess, isn't it? - I wonder, could you get me in? - Just have to wait, sir.
No, I'm quite a special customer.
I haven't just got 500 quid in an ISA.
I'm on the Gold Star list.
Sorry, there's nothing I can do.
You'll have to queue with the rest of 'em.
Is Is Bruce McNolte in there? He's the area manager.
I actually know Bruce quite well, I've been to dinner at his house, and he'd want to see me.
I've told you, there's nothing I can do.
But I really need to see him.
I need to ask you to step back, please, sir.
But he's my friend.
Sir, I'm telling you, step away.
Listen, my name is Stephen Lyons I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I've been told to lock the doors.
Sorry.
[CUSTOMERS SHOUTING.]
No, they can't Let me in! You have my money! Easy, easy! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
No! No! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Let me in! You can't do this! You've got £20,000 of my money! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Yeah? Stephen, can you hear me? Yes! It's the same at Clinton Shaw! The whole thing's going down! Jesus.
Try to get anything.
Anything! Calm down, ladies and gentlemen! Let me in, I'm a friend of Bruce McNolte! I'm a friend of Bruce! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Move! Move it! Move! You've got my money, open the door! You've got my money! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Let me in! Let me in! The bank has failed.
Officially.
The Government could step in, but won't.
So that leaves us kind of stuffed.
Now, that's the word, stuffed.
I said to Mr Yamagata, can we wind back a day, just to be nice? But no, he said no.
The house is sold and we've got to get out.
So how much have you lost? Well, we're covered up to £85,000.
That's the limit.
There was a temporary high balance clause, but It's gone.
with the collapse of Foster Foster Drake, you know, insurance is fucked.
But, Stephen, how much did you lose? Minus the 85 we lost £1,135,000.
Oh! Oh, my God.
- [HE MOUTHS.]
- But how much of that can you get back? Nothing.
That's it.
You've still got 85,000, though.
SCOFFS: To buy a house? Is that enough? With two kids? Really? Give it to me.
I'll have a go.
- Oh, stop it, Rosie.
- No, I won't! Because they've knackered the whole country for the second time.
The bankers, the experts, and, I'm sorry, people like Stephen, - they did this.
Yes, they did.
- All right, Rosie! Not now.
- No, it's true.
- It is true, it is true.
Are you finished? Enjoying yourselves? Thanks.
So what about work? What happens? It's not great.
I'm the financial adviser who lost a million quid.
Who might be facing charges for rioting in the street.
There's no need for that.
Shut up! So, what are you going to do? Where are you going to live? Welcome home.
We'll be fine.
There's plenty of room.
Happy little household.
Vivienne Alison Rook, Four Star Party [BOOING, WHOOPING AND CHEERING.]
18,556 votes.
Stanley Edward Thomas, Labour 17,367 votes.
Wow.
Go on, Viv! Yes, you did it! [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.]
I declare that Vivienne Rook is duly elected as Member of Parliament for this constituency! CROWD CHANTING: Viv! Viv! Viv! Oh, my God.
I promise you, this is the day when British politics will You don't mind, do you? - No! - No.
[CHEERING AND WHOOPING.]
This is just the beginning.
This is just the beginning.
CROWD CHANTING: Viv! Viv! Viv! Viv! - He's got to cross the border.
- You mean illegally? If the exit polls are correct, this is an extraordinary result.
I will decide! [WHOOPING AND CHEERING.]
I'll be back.
- She is a monster.
- I think she's brilliant.
She's calling him Lincoln.
Congratulations, Great-Grandmother.
These people are refugees, which means they're allowed to seek asylum.
My name is Viktor.
Viktor Goraya.
I'm transhuman.
I'm going to escape this thing and become digital.
- Come back to bed.
- You have sex with your robot! Darling! Darling! America, they've fired a nuclear missile.
[NUCLEAR EXPLOSION.]
What happens now?! [ALARM RINGS IN DISTANCE.]
All right, stop! You can stop the alarm, thank you.
Oh, God.
I give up.
Signor! You can stop the alarm, Signor! - SIGNOR: Alarm stopped.
- Thank you.
The last time we had an alarm in this kitchen, we all thought the world was coming to an end, so that's quite enough.
Do you wish to be reminded of the reason for the alarm? Oh, well, yes.
I was coming to that.
The alarm is a reminder for Edith Lyons [SHE GASPS.]
Oh, yes! Yes! Call the family.
Oh, I know.
Calling family link.
- Is that right? - Calling family link.
We're all here, Gran.
We're waiting.
It's a big moment.
Some of us have got work to do.
Happy as ever, Celeste.
It's lovely to hear your voice, Muriel.
Where are the boys? Are they with us? Dan, are you on the link? Yeah, yeah, I'm here.
I'm here.
Hey! What are you doing? No, no, no, no! We're not No! [LAUGHTER.]
Just don't! I'm glad we haven't got vision.
Are you with us, Rosie? I keep telling the boys we all used to watch TV on Saturday mornings.
- Doesn't exist any more.
- Well, this is better than cartoons.
Shush! She's on! ON TV: We can interview someone who was actually a witness to that terrible event on Hong Sha, political activist Edith Lyons.
Tell me a little bit about that time.
Oh.
Six months ago, we all thought we were going to die - That's what I just said.
- Shush, Gran! and then we realised the day after Hiroshima, what happened sun came up, people got out of bed, they went to work, a nuclear bomb exploded, and the West just carried on.
And China backed down, but with 45,000 dead.
And that's why we need these sanctions against America.
They turned a trade war into an actual war.
She doesn't understand a thing.
And who pays the price? Me.
Your auntie's an idiot.
You were in Vietnam.
Is that right? For the explosion.
Then we took a ship and we sailed towards Hong Sha.
We took this footage with drones.
Look, there were people! The bomb goes off and that's all they leave behind, is the shadow.
What's she like? Edith? Bit serious.
- Yeah, but when you were kids.
- Yeah.
Serious even then.
I don't know.
She's older than I am.
She was more friends with Stephen, really.
We went Interrailing once, but she wanted to sleep on beaches and go to markets and find things to smoke.
I just wanted a nice hotel.
Is she rich? I'd like to know.
Why do you think? - Cos she's famous.
- Not really.
This is Channel India.
There must be five of us watching.
She lives on a boat.
Yeah, but there's like 15 onboard.
Bet it's stinking.
If I could ask, what's the range of your drones? What does that matter? We estimate they've got a range of five miles, so So you took your ship five miles off the coast of Hong Sha within two days of the explosion? - What? - She said 50 miles.
She said she was safe.
Were you poisoned by radiation? I think you should focus on the victims within China itself.
We calculate, at the very least, you were exposed to one gray of radiation, so the damage has been done.
You might have limited your lifespan to another 20 years.
So? That could take me to 60.
Then it's true.
Yeah.
She tells us on TV?! Oh, my God, she's an idiot! Gran, stop watching! Turn it off.
- Signor, call Edith Lyons now.
- End link.
Calling Edith Lyons.
Is she dying? Is Auntie Edith dying? Hm? Eventually.
VOICE MAIL: This is Edith's phone.
Leave a message.
Edith, we're all watching.
You promised me you were safe.
Yeah, thanks very much, Edith.
What a way to let us know, eh, on TV? Gran? You okay? Okay.
That might be true, but never mind me.
Hong Sha Dao will have consequences for all of us, and it terrifies me because the world keeps getting hotter and faster and madder, and we don't pause.
We don't think.
We don't learn.
We just keep racing to the next disaster, and I keep wondering what's next.
Where are we going? When's it ever going to stop? President Pence has defied the United Nations.
But we're making it worse.
The more we impose sanctions, the more America swings to the right.
Okay, Putin, president for life.
Xi Jinping, president for life.
And now, Pence just a puppet.
Trump is still in charge.
These old men are in power forever.
[CHEERING.]
Remind us what charities you've been playing for.
Mine's a children's hospice in Coventry.
And mine's to build a statue for all the horses killed in World War I.
The bird population across Britain has fallen by 50%, because the insect population has fallen by 80%.
That's 80% in 30 years.
Happy birthday to you [CHEERING.]
So that's it.
I'm out of work.
My bosses are basically Americans.
With all these sanctions, they're going to withdraw.
- You'll get a payoff, though.
- They're saying no.
They're saying, "Take us to court.
Tough!" I need to free up some capital, so we'll have to sell this house.
We're downsizing.
We just need somewhere small.
I'm not moving! I'm not! It's a phenomenon that's being called "Towntime".
The 2000s saw a huge move to work from home, but people at home basically eat and masturbate.
So, Towntime calls for a return to the office job, Monday morning, 9am.
It's my honour to declare the drone park officially open! [APPLAUSE, DRONES BUZZ.]
Good luck! Bon voyage! Don't go to my house! I'm not in! As MP to the Northern Powerhouse, I promise that for every job lost, there will be a job gained.
This fleet of drones will be the pride of Manchester.
As you can see [SCREAMING.]
Oh, my God! Have you just seen? My MP's been decapitated! It's terrible news about Archie, but I can't help feeling it's symbolic.
I hereby declare, with the greatest of respect, that I will be standing in the by-election for his constituency.
Seriously? I'm watching her now, Viv Rook.
So, she's going to be my MP? No, she isn't.
I told you.
Don't you dare vote for her.
I will give you money not to vote.
All right, then.
That's a deal.
Right, got to go.
Pay me in cash.
Bye! You know she owns us, don't you? Viv Rook? Now they've privatised housing, we're part of Stonerock Holdings.
And on the board [COMPUTER BEEPS.]
Oh, my God, she's my boss! This is my chance at last to honour my country and to serve it.
[KNOCK ON WINDOW.]
Your greenhouse, it's not very safe.
[SHE CHUCKLES.]
People have been saying that for years.
I got a man in to look at it, but part of it fell on his head.
He never came back.
You should be careful, though.
Viktor, all of the money in this house was my father's.
And he lost it in 1976.
We haven't been able to afford this place ever since.
Let it rot gently.
I'll survive.
Dan said about your parents Yeah They reported you to the police.
In fairness, they thought it was their duty.
They're Christians.
I mean, it genuinely hurts them.
Do you forgive them? I have to try.
Rubbish.
They're disgusting.
Your mother and father are disgusting people.
Is that clear? I'm not without prejudice myself.
I don't like Londoners.
And I don't like people who wear sunglasses indoors.
But you you're beautiful, in the eyes of Christ and in the eyes of myself.
Is that clear? Have you got that? Yes.
And you're very welcome here for the rest of your life.
Oh, don't cry! You're not going to get a hug or anything.
Thank you.
I thought this would be nice just the two of us.
Hey, now that you're working, we can be ladies who lunch.
- That's great.
Thanks very much.
- Can I take a drinks order? We'll just have a look.
Give us a couple of minutes? I want you to explain.
Your dad said you offered to pay rent, but there really is no need, honestly.
I've got work until the autumn.
Height of Essence isn't pulling out until October, so there's no emergency.
We won't starve.
And after that Well Well, maybe you can give me advice.
When I went to university, they said accountancy was a job for life.
But now, thanks to your lot, artificial intelligence can do my job in one second flat.
I'm going to be quite literally redundant in every way.
- Will you call me? - Sorry? - Will you call me? - You mean telephone you? - Yes.
- When? Now.
- But you're sitting right here.
- This is why I wanted to have lunch.
Will you just phone me? Now? [PHONE RINGS.]
- Hello, Bethany speaking.
- Hello.
- Are you phoning for Bethany? - Yes.
- What are you doing? - This is Bethany.
Can you hear me? Well, you're right in front of me.
But can you hear me down the phone? Oh, my gosh! This is me, on the phone.
I had it implanted.
My hand is the phone.
I can walk, and talk, cos I'm on the phone, the phone inside my hand.
I am the phone.
This is what phones are going to be from now on.
I have integrated.
Thank you for your call.
Subdermal implants.
They charge themselves with motion like a self-winding watch.
And it's on the 22 network.
I get signal across 95% of UK mainland, 98 by next year.
When I phoned you, it was ringing.
You were ringing.
That's the speaker.
- So small! - Okay, but When did you get this done? That course in Winchester? I had one finger done every night.
I still need to choose a handset, to phone out.
Look.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hello? Hi! Okay.
But, look, I can't believe you had surgery without telling me! Skinplants, not surgery.
And I knew you'd be cross.
But I'm 18, and you had that tattoo when you were 18, and it's the same sort of thing.
And I wanted to ask you - Will you do me a favour? - What? - Will you tell Dad? - Oh, sweet.
Please, will you tell Dad for me? Good evening.
Good evening, sir.
Can I get a litre of non milk? Thanks.
- Anything else? - Er Thought a shag might be nice.
Nothing I can do about that, sir.
Oh! Well, I'll just go home all alone, then.
Well, you're a bit ugly, sir.
- I am.
- It's very sad.
Goodnight, sir.
Goodnight.
[MOANING.]
- [THEY LAUGH.]
- All right What are you doing? Ah! Get off! Get off! - Yeah.
Go on, go on, go on.
- You want it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah - [CRASHING.]
[HE LAUGHS.]
[MOANING, LAUGHTER.]
ON TV: And next month, it will be one year since Hong Sha Dao, and the shock waves continue around the world, with instability still rocking the banking system.
Thanks, but I'm not stopping.
I haven't got long.
I'm supposed to be on lunch duty, so Well, there it is.
Yeah.
Didn't even miss it.
It only cost 20 quid, that.
You're the only man I know with ten different watches.
- You don't wear the same shirt - BOTH: all the time, do you? So how are things? Okay? Yeah, not bad.
Nice and busy.
What about you? Hm? How is he? The boy? He's only six years younger.
- That is so hot! - Oh, stop it.
I just thought if you could sign those papers.
We're trying to get Viktor this Leave to Remain thing.
And if I'm divorced, it might help.
I was honestly bringing you the watch Dan! You shat on me in front of everyone.
Remember? So I don't have the slightest wish to stay married to you, OK? I'll sign it.
Sorry.
It's almost a year ago now.
Well, two weeks' time.
Gran's still insisting on a party.
That's one thing I won't miss.
Standing there freezing politely.
I keep telling her, it's not just her birthday weekend now, it's commemorating 40,000 dead.
- And it's a barbecue.
- Yeah, I know.
[THEY LAUGH.]
[HE LAUGHS.]
So what's the status now then, hmm? HE SPEAKS WITH ACCENT: Viktor.
My name is Viktor.
Still classified as an asylum seeker.
That hasn't changed.
What, and he's allowed to live with you? Yep.
Mm-hm.
The house is a mess now.
It would drive you mad.
HE SPEAKS WITH ACCENT: Viktor! It's still tough.
He's not allowed a job or anything.
I mean, he's working part time to stop him going mad, but it's all cash in hand.
He's got a degree in economics, but he's stuck working in the petrol station.
I tell you what, though.
Do you know what the good thing is? He gets free pasties when the sell-by date is up.
- They give them away! - Oh, you love pasties.
I do! I get free pasties.
Well, look.
Um, I am glad you're happy.
Thank you.
Really, I am.
Thanks.
Hiya.
Sorry, my app's frozen.
It's pump number two.
Thanks.
Uh-huh.
£120.
Thank you.
Anything else, sir? No, that's everything.
Thanks.
This weekend will be marked by services up and down the country to remember Hong Sha Dao on the first anniversary of the explosion.
And American embassies have been surrounded by crowds protesting at the events of this time last year.
Campaigning will be suspended for the day.
My thoughts and prayers are with Beijing.
Hey! Happy Birthday.
Although technically it's not till tomorrow, so if you don't survive the night, I'll have it back! Now then, sweetheart, if your mum and dad want to move house, you can always come and live here, can't you? Who loves you? I do.
Oh, well, that helps enormously.
Well done.
Happy birthday, Muriel.
Did you hear, Bethany got promoted? - I didn't know that.
- Isn't that good? Marvellous, whatever that job is.
She's data mining.
Yeah, I know what it is, but I don't know what it is! I have a rule.
No-one is allowed to stare at my daughter's hand.
Beth, show me your hand.
Right.
Hand down again.
That's it's.
I've had enough of people staring.
It turns out the calls are twice the price.
You didn't ask about that.
Where's Rosie? She's not here yet? She said she'd be late.
Lincoln had a bit of a tum.
Now I looked and looked and looked for chocolate, but you just can't find it any more.
I thought, this year, no TV.
Even when the boys arrive.
TV off, because that thing scared us to death last year.
I mean, let's be honest, it was terrifying.
I actually thought I could see you all perish.
My own family, right in front of me so I might have said some silly things.
I know I did and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
Well, now, maybe you won't need to stay away for a whole year.
We didn't do it on purpose.
Been busy, that's all.
Oh.
Stephen said not so busy.
What about the house? Is there any news? Um, that Mr Yamagata liked it, so I think we've found a buyer.
Hey, I was going to ask, do you think I should move my money with all this fuss about the banks? Er, financial advice off me costs £300 an hour, thank you very much.
Nah, you should be all right.
You haven't got 85 grand, have you? God, no.
That'd be nice.
Anything less than 85, you're insured by the government.
- you should be fine.
- I said that'd be nice, not because I want him for his money.
Just the sex.
Endless sex.
- Thank you.
- Once you've been loved by a Lyons.
Oh, my God! Is it bad, though, for the banks? It's these sanctions against America.
It's ridiculous.
Might as well take out sanctions against ourselves.
We are American.
Our business is American, our culture's American.
We're certainly not European, are we? - [PHONE VIBRATES.]
- Oh.
Oh.
Here we go, Gran.
- That's Rosie.
- Right now, Muriel.
Put that down.
Let's go out and see her.
Come on.
She knows her way in.
She's here every week.
- Come on! Let's go and say hello.
- Let's go, let's go.
[HE WHISTLES.]
- Hi, Gran! - Hello.
Here we are, then.
Surprise! [THEY LAUGH.]
Oh! Aw! Oh, you silly girl! Oh! Your mother should be here.
Careful, she's radioactive! All right.
[SHE LAUGHS.]
We can't just have any old barbecue, not with Edith home.
- Let's make it nice and special.
- Oh, cos Edith's special.
She's so special.
We are just dirt.
I love Edith more than anything in the world don't you? You'll get a clip in a minute.
Seven years.
It's been ages.
Does it feel weird being back? Little bit, yeah.
Viktor's nice.
Sexy! Bethany's a bit odd.
You know she wants be a robot.
Mmm.
Am I all right, staying at yours? Cos Gran says I can stay here.
Oh, my God! You'd die in this place.
Course you can.
You can get to know the boys.
- How long for? - Dunno.
Not sailing off on a mission? Er, yeah.
It's all gone a bit sour.
It's so stupid.
It's that footage we took at Hong Sha.
People think we sold it for lots of money.
- Do they? - That's terrible.
Ah.
Trouble is, some people on the boat think we should, so I might just step away and have a think.
And it's weird.
You know this radiation thing.
- You feeling all right, though? - Yeah.
But one day, the clock's ticking, maybe it's time I did something with my life instead of shouting.
Just not sure what.
So come on, Edith.
Tell me stories of the high seas.
What's the best place you think you've been? Oh, don't do that! It's a bit like an interview, Gran.
Well, I don't know where to start.
You've been away for so long.
You see online? The North Pole melted.
Like, it's gone.
- You should tell people about that.
- Well, yes, I could but I did.
There's not much point any more.
Oh, don't say that.
No, but really, no, like, we keep saying you've got ten more years to sort out climate change, you've got ten more years to sort out flooding, you've got ten more years to sort out the rainforest.
We've been saying that for 30 years.
But it's too late.
We've run out of time.
Everyone knows it.
You can recycle and campaign and go on marches.
We are going to flood and burn and starve.
And we won't die.
I'm not saying that the human race is gonna carry on, living on plateaus.
[SHE LAUGHS.]
Like shepherds, little villages, maybe with a computer in a hut, you can go and visit once a week, and then go back to growing your little patch of corn.
You might be digging out some rocks and singing Elvis to yourself, or the Beatles, but you won't know who they are any more.
Just folk songs from long ago.
- So nice to have you back.
- [THEY LAUGH.]
Edith! Don't listen, kids.
I'm saying, let's have fun.
Sod it.
Enjoy it now.
Cos I got this in Japan! Slightly under the counter it's that new synthetic alcohol.
Oh, my God! It's supposed to be lethal.
Yeah, but that's the point.
That it's designed to cut out all the by-products, so you just get completely plastered with no hangover.
- Does it work? - Well, Celeste, there's only one way to find out! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink He sings the songs that remind him of the good times He sings the songs that remind him of the better times I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down Oh, Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You are never gonna keep me down I get [SHE SNORES LIGHTLY.]
I think that alcohol needs a bit of work.
I looked it up like, the wind direction in the days after Hong Sha, and your angle of approach, fallout patterns, and things.
I think you got a bigger dose than you said.
I think you might have ten years.
Did you know you can live forever? [HE SPEAKS HIS OWN LANGUAGE.]
That's right, darling.
What's he saying? [HE MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY.]
[PHONE CHIMES.]
[HE GROANS.]
Ooh, no, no! You'll drop it.
It Give it here.
Don't move.
Stay there.
Oh! Well, that's got to be fake.
Fake news.
Bang on midnight.
"Message from the Home Office.
" As if they'd text.
"Our records show you may not have leave to remain in the UK.
" You should tell your friends that's not funny.
Black coffee, I think.
I'll see you next week.
And take care.
I'm not sure you're fit to drive.
The focus group can officially declare alcosynth does not work! Oh, God, I feel bad! And sort out that text.
Tell them it should be illegal using the words Home Office like that.
Will do.
See you, Gran.
- I think it's real.
- Yeah.
I looked online.
There's many people saying text at midnight.
Well, we've been privatised with the same system date changes at midnight, automated texts go ping.
It's real.
Don't worry.
I'll phone Yvonne.
Honestly, I'm fine.
Don't go to any fuss.
I can sleep on a settee.
No, there's plenty of space, cos Lincoln, if you put your things in Lee's room, then you two can share and if you're really, really good, we could get bunk beds.
I'm having the top bunk! Right, go and put your clothes in that bottom drawer.
Lee, go and make some room, five minutes.
Why do kids love bunk beds? Knock knock! Only me.
Careful, got sore heads.
My sister tried to poison us last night.
This is Edith.
This is Lesley from down the hall.
- Ah, the missing sister.
- Hello.
Aren't you supposed to be dying? Well, I mean, aren't we all, in the end? Well, you look good on it! I just got that coupon.
It's good till Friday.
I can't stop.
I'm on the 3.
15.
See you tonight, though, yeah? Yeah.
And that's Poppy.
She's six months old, aren't you, Poppy? Hello! Hello.
I'll leave you to it.
Good luck.
Hope you don't die.
Thanks! I'll do my best.
That was her.
That's Poppy.
- What do you mean? - I told you.
Poppy Don't you read any of your e-mails? The little girl.
The Poppy.
That was her.
So they did a scan and Poppy had a gap in her spine, just like me, - so they went in and fixed it.
- In the womb? Yeah.
It's amazing, isn't it? They've been doing that for years but now they can grow the nerve tissue.
They can cultivate it inside and fix it completely.
I mean, she's only six months, we'll see how it goes, but really, that's it spina bifida cured, almost.
And is that okay? It's brilliant.
I mean, look at her.
She's gorgeous.
But she was gorgeous before.
Gives me the shivers a bit.
Can't say that to Lesley, cos once they start fixing people, where do they stop? Too tall? Too short? Do they want to fix me? I think I'm brilliant.
I don't want fixing.
How much did it cost? Well, that's the thing.
She was on the programme, so it was free.
But the NHS can't afford stuff like that.
So who's going to get fixed? Only the billionaires.
So you're worried about people you don't like, buying something you don't want.
Yeah, I think.
Is that right? - I don't know.
- [LAUGHS.]
God, the world got complicated! Hester Babatunde? The phrase to watch out for is "live discreetly".
Technically, homosexuality isn't illegal in Ukraine, so if they say you can live discreetly, they can say you're safe to be returned.
You mean, I should be not discreet with this? Indiscreet.
It's not the gay thing.
You got out because they registered - him as a dissident.
- Unofficially.
We can't prove that, so I'm going to use everything.
I could wear a dress! That would help! Viktor Goraya? - Right.
- You got everything? Yep.
Good luck.
[HE EXHALES.]
[HE EXHALES.]
They've detained him.
I'm sorry.
I need to get back to the office.
I can make an appeal by six o'clock.
- Sorry, where is he? - He's been detained.
Right, so where is he now? Back there in a holding room but then they're going to move him.
What do you mean, detained? Detained for how long? Well, he's been detained that's it.
That's why I need to get back.
- You mean he's been arrested? - Well, no.
But in effect, yes.
What happened? They did what? They say he's been working at a petrol station for money, so he's broken his conditions.
I'm not even going to ask you if that's true.
I'm just going back to work.
Okay, so where is he now? He's in a holding room, but then they're taking him to Three Bridges.
- That's near Gatwick.
- Taking him away? - Yeah.
- Where to? It's a centre called the Three Bridges, near Gatwick.
Right, okay, so, well can I see him now? He hasn't gone already, has he? Can I see him? - They won't allow it.
- But I work for the council.
I'm not just anyone.
I'm in housing, I move people all the time.
I know the system.
I'm allowed to see him.
Daniel, you can't.
Listen to me.
Trust me.
Don't piss them off.
Okay, so what happens? What are they going to do? - They want to deport him.
- No, but they tortured him.
You know, in the Ukraine they tortured him.
So where is he? They're taking him to a place called the Three Bridges Centre, in London.
It's just outside Gatwick.
They're taking his phone off him.
But that's not legal.
They can remove the phone if it has a camera or internet access which is every phone in the world.
Who's got his phone? How are they allowed to have his phone? That phone belongs to him, so who's got it right now? Where is it? I need to get back to the office.
He's going where? Three Bridges.
It's a centre like Yarl's Wood, near Gatwick.
He's on his way now.
It's ridiculous.
I've got it here.
It says, "Three Bridges is a removal centre.
" - Does that mean? - It's near Gatwick.
You go there to be removed.
They can't deport someone in a single day.
Oh, oh, your little world.
He's not that far from you.
I'll be there by half six.
Get us a pizza.
We should be moving in a month or so.
The first man came back, Mr Yamagata.
He offered the asking price, so off we go.
Oh, except Ruby.
I'm not moving.
I'm really not.
Pizza with lemon does not work.
That house in Chancellor Row fell through, so we might have to rent for a couple of months, which is a bit of a hassle, but gives me time to look for work.
How much did this place go for? 2.
6 million.
Oh, my God! London! [PHONE RINGS.]
Hold on.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, on, on.
Hold on.
Hello? Hello? Hey! Guess where I am.
I know where you are.
I'm like a world expert on Three Bridges now.
You okay? Whose phone is this? They give you a phone with £10 credit.
Not allowed my old one.
No, I know, I know.
But what's happened to your proper phone? Who's got it? Did they take it? Did they bag it? Did they give you a receipt? Because that's really not their property.
- Do you know where it is? - I don't really care about the phone.
No.
You okay? Yeah.
I didn't even say goodbye.
So anyway, I'm down here in London.
I'm not far away.
I'm staying with Stephen.
I've got your clothes.
Just shoved them in.
First thing tomorrow, I'll make an appointment to see you.
- You can't.
- Well, tough because I can, and I will.
It takes 24 hours to make an appointment, and they're flying me out at 7.
00am.
It's 12 hours' time.
No, Yvonne's put in an appeal.
Doesn't matter.
She's put in an appeal.
That's the system now.
They reverted the law back to 2014.
You get deported.
Then you can appeal.
Well, they can't do that.
Okay.
Tell them.
7.
00am? Yeah.
Where to, Kiev? - Yeah.
- Right, then.
Well, you go, and then I'll get you back.
Yes, please.
- Hey.
- [GIGGLING.]
Hi there.
Shut up.
Go to sleep.
- What's all this? - Nothing.
- Is the bed okay? - It's fine.
- Oh, were the boys making trouble? - No.
[SHE LAUGHS.]
Is there something wrong? No, it's fine.
Just [WHISPERS.]
This is nice.
That's all.
Now sssh! - Aw! - [EDITH LAUGHS.]
- Aw! - Shut up! I haven't done this for years.
Remember that caravan? All the food went off.
Do you remember? Mum was livid! Happy days.
Yeah.
Night, then.
Welcome home.
Right.
- What are you going to do? - Go back home.
Get him back.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hi there.
You okay? Come outside quickly! Come and look outside now.
Danny said Viktor's been flown out.
He's phoned the Home Office but just ended up talking to a clerk.
Yes, yes, yes.
Edith, come outside now! I'm here.
Can you see me? - What's all the fuss? - Oh, my God.
Wait till you see.
Here it comes.
It's hilarious.
Look.
Look, it's the Battle Bus! It's the Rookmobile! It's Vivienne Rook! Oh, my God.
I've read about her.
Yeah, she's on TV all the time, you missed it! She's got her own party, the Four Stars! Hello, Viv! Hello! Yes, woo! She sounds like a monster.
Oh, I know, I wouldn't vote for her.
She's horrific.
I read somewhere that she acts all normal, but she's a millionaire.
Go on, Viv! Whoo! Rosie, I don't think she's actually on the bus.
Yeah, I know.
She won't set foot in this place.
Been Labour for 500 years.
Mind you, nice to have a woman, though.
Go on, Viv! So who's he got out there? His mum and dad.
But they're Eastern Orthodox, and when the Russians occupied Ukraine, they named him to the police as gay.
That's what people do there.
His own parents! I mean, he's got friends, - but they're all too scared.
- [PHONE RINGS.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh! Here I am! I'm alive.
I did it! I'm here.
Are you all right? What time is it there? - Where are you? - I'm fine.
I'm really fine.
We're going.
Don't mind us.
We'll leave you to it.
Well done, Viktor.
He'll get you home.
Hi there! Thank you.
I'll come round later, yeah, Fran? All right, all right.
Right, bye-bye.
Oh, my God.
Look at your face! Where are you now? Where's that? Claude's.
I'm staying with Claude.
He's there in the kitchen, just to warn you.
Do not whack it out! - I wasn't going to.
- Well, I would! [THEY LAUGH.]
You all right, though? I mean, you're not under arrest, are you? No, it's fine, I promise.
One good thing, Britain deported 200 people in one day.
55 to Kiev.
So you know, that's a lot of people.
- It helps.
- But you're on a government list.
I don't want to fight.
I just want to go.
Till then, I will do what they say.
I will live discreetly.
Live discreetly.
Until I come home.
I could fly out.
- Is that discreet? - I don't know.
Is it? I don't know.
God.
Just for now, we will be discreet.
I love you.
Yeah.
I love you.
But can they listen to this? I don't know.
[CLAMOURING AND CHANTING.]
This is a different country to the one I left.
No-one used to care about by-elections.
It's gone mad.
Yeah.
We're all bloody furious now.
- What about? - Everything.
I'm not getting in your way at home? Just cos you keep cleaning up after me, like, every time I make a move, you're there, cleaning, and I just well, I just wondered if you'd rather that I went.
No, no.
I love having you there.
It's just Well, you know with Mum when she was on chemo, the drugs are radioactive, so, "Don't touch any urine, don't touch vomit, "don't touch any bodily fluids" and it kind of got to me.
I mean, I was with her all day, every day, and I wore gloves, scrubbed everything, but You're not radioactive, are you? No! No, I'm not.
I just keep thinking of the boys, you know, and I wouldn't do that to you, I swear.
It doesn't work like that, anyway.
You get more radiation off rocks.
- Oh, my God! - [APPLAUSE.]
Go on, Vivienne! - Are you on her side now? - No, I haven't made my mind up yet.
Go on, Viv! Woo! [CHANTING AND CLAMOURING.]
[BOOING.]
I think that your party has let us down, Stan, just like the Conservatives, just like all of you, because Europe is punishing us.
They're imposing embargoes, export tariffs and border restrictions.
We're fed up, and what are you doing? Nothing.
Export tariffs? - Yes.
- They impose export tariffs? It's a disgrace.
What's an export tariff? I mean, tariffs in general.
See, if they impose an export tariff, then they would pay the export tariff themselves.
We don't pay.
They do.
Do you actually understand that? [LAUGHTER.]
- No, but I - You see, I don't think you understand anything.
This is very detailed and precise information, and you don't even begin to understand it.
You're just saying words, Mrs Rook.
[DISSENTING NOISES.]
And now, closing remarks from Vivian Rook, Four Star Party.
Thank you.
And thank you to my fellow candidates.
I've been humbled tonight.
I've learnt a lot.
I certainly know what an export tariff is now, although I can't help noticing that a woman is not allowed one mistake.
Oh, don't do that! I wonder.
We've been asked about strategies, policies.
I've been accused of sounding vague.
I think I am, perhaps, cautious.
No, I'm scared.
I am.
I am terrified, given the size of the task in front of me.
Has any of you seen one of these? They've been on the telly highly illegal, smuggled in from Taiwan.
I will be surrendering this to the police when we are done here tonight.
But for those of you who don't know, this is called a blink.
A blink is a weapon created by cyber terrorists.
And it goes.
- [BLEEP.]
- Blink.
[CROWD MURMUR.]
It takes out every online device - She can't do that! - within a 30-metre radius.
[INDISTINCT OUTRAGE.]
If you don't mind, I'm talking, - You can't do that! - and if you can't manage without - your phone for five minutes - That's ridiculous! while we talk to each other face-to-face - You can't just do that! - like human beings You have no right.
what is the point of anything, sir? Disgusting! Because I would go further.
I would legalise the blink.
I would give one of these to every parent, every teacher, every school.
I would activate the blink in every classroom, every home, every day, because do you know what I did? I looked on my goddaughter's phone.
She is six years old.
She is six years old.
And do you know what I saw on the phone of that six-year-old girl? On the phone of every six-year-old girl in the country? On the phone of every six-year-old girl and boy in the entire civilised world, I saw this.
[GROANS OF DISGUST.]
- Hey, this is cheating! - Oh, God! We are not allowed to use visual aids.
Get a new plan, Stan! This is the filth on the phones.
Look at it! Look at it! Because our children do nonstop porn streaming into our children's eyes all day.
You there, laughing, mate are you proud of this nonstop porn for kids? - That's nice.
- Amazing.
Let me guarantee, as your MP, I will go to Parliament on your behalf and I will find those CEOs in California, those high-tech giants, those men, and I will bring them back here not to appear in front of a Select Committee I will bring them here to stand trial.
I will bring them here to find them guilty.
I will bring them here to jail them.
Are you with me? CROWD: Yes! [APPLAUSE.]
Well, then, ladies and gentlemen tweet that.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.]
[CHANTING.]
I thought you hated her.
Tear the world down.
Ha-ha-ha! Thanks for coming.
[INDISTINCT.]
Nice to meet you.
Oh, my God, wait there.
One minute, one minute.
Excuse me! Excuse me! Hi.
Hi.
Oh, Viv, hi.
For the kids, do you mind? Yes.
Sure, go ahead, it's all right.
Here we go.
I'm fed up of it now.
Finish off tomorrow.
Going to bed? Yeah.
The money's in.
Thank you, Mr Yamagata.
Ruby's right.
I don't want to move either.
Still, Maddy says there might be jobs with Simon Harris.
It's worth a try.
Coming up? Signor, lights out downstairs.
AUTOMATED: Lights out, ground floor.
Goodnight, Stephen.
[PHONE RINGS.]
[PHONE RINGS.]
- It's my phone.
- It's mine as well.
- It's from Sally and Tanya.
- Me too.
And Richard Peel.
What time is it in Tokyo? Must be about 9am.
Just opened.
Do you think it's true? The Japanese Exchange Group has issued a statement of no confidence in Foster Foster Drake.
Foster Foster Drake is the second-largest investment bank in America.
The JXS maintains that Foster Foster Drake will be filing for a Chapter 11 bankruptcy as soon as trading opens on the east coast.
The online bank's gone down.
Must be everyone.
But Foster Foster Drake doesn't own the Alliance.
No, no.
We'll be fine.
It's connected, though.
They ghost a lot of services.
And you left all that money in one account? I just I don't move money till the morning.
That's what I do.
Every morning, I have a coffee, and if money needs moving, that's when I do it.
Nothing we can do until the banks open.
I can sort it then.
Okay? - I'm going to the bank.
- You can't take out 1.
2 million.
I know.
I'm going to move it.
I always move the money in the morning.
I'm not saying it's your fault.
Celeste, this is the kind of thing that causes a run on the bank.
Yes, and if there's a run on the bank, I am running.
- Is that thing working? - There's no reply.
Keep trying.
It's Bruce McNolte.
Patch him through to me.
He's not just a friend, Bruce.
He's a mate.
I wrote that reference for his son, and if he could just backdate, that's all, if he just backdates the transfer by one day Oh, my God! It's not We'll be all right.
Come on.
We're - We're not just any old customers.
- One at a time.
- I'm sorry.
Just one at a time.
- They're going in one at a time.
Sorry, could you just keep back? Yeah.
This is us.
Just hold on.
Wait here.
[EXCITED CHATTER.]
Just keep yourselves back.
Sorry.
Hi.
This is a bit of a mess, isn't it? - I wonder, could you get me in? - Just have to wait, sir.
No, I'm quite a special customer.
I haven't just got 500 quid in an ISA.
I'm on the Gold Star list.
Sorry, there's nothing I can do.
You'll have to queue with the rest of 'em.
Is Is Bruce McNolte in there? He's the area manager.
I actually know Bruce quite well, I've been to dinner at his house, and he'd want to see me.
I've told you, there's nothing I can do.
But I really need to see him.
I need to ask you to step back, please, sir.
But he's my friend.
Sir, I'm telling you, step away.
Listen, my name is Stephen Lyons I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I've been told to lock the doors.
Sorry.
[CUSTOMERS SHOUTING.]
No, they can't Let me in! You have my money! Easy, easy! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
No! No! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Let me in! You can't do this! You've got £20,000 of my money! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Yeah? Stephen, can you hear me? Yes! It's the same at Clinton Shaw! The whole thing's going down! Jesus.
Try to get anything.
Anything! Calm down, ladies and gentlemen! Let me in, I'm a friend of Bruce McNolte! I'm a friend of Bruce! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Move! Move it! Move! You've got my money, open the door! You've got my money! [SHOUTING CONTINUES.]
Let me in! Let me in! The bank has failed.
Officially.
The Government could step in, but won't.
So that leaves us kind of stuffed.
Now, that's the word, stuffed.
I said to Mr Yamagata, can we wind back a day, just to be nice? But no, he said no.
The house is sold and we've got to get out.
So how much have you lost? Well, we're covered up to £85,000.
That's the limit.
There was a temporary high balance clause, but It's gone.
with the collapse of Foster Foster Drake, you know, insurance is fucked.
But, Stephen, how much did you lose? Minus the 85 we lost £1,135,000.
Oh! Oh, my God.
- [HE MOUTHS.]
- But how much of that can you get back? Nothing.
That's it.
You've still got 85,000, though.
SCOFFS: To buy a house? Is that enough? With two kids? Really? Give it to me.
I'll have a go.
- Oh, stop it, Rosie.
- No, I won't! Because they've knackered the whole country for the second time.
The bankers, the experts, and, I'm sorry, people like Stephen, - they did this.
Yes, they did.
- All right, Rosie! Not now.
- No, it's true.
- It is true, it is true.
Are you finished? Enjoying yourselves? Thanks.
So what about work? What happens? It's not great.
I'm the financial adviser who lost a million quid.
Who might be facing charges for rioting in the street.
There's no need for that.
Shut up! So, what are you going to do? Where are you going to live? Welcome home.
We'll be fine.
There's plenty of room.
Happy little household.
Vivienne Alison Rook, Four Star Party [BOOING, WHOOPING AND CHEERING.]
18,556 votes.
Stanley Edward Thomas, Labour 17,367 votes.
Wow.
Go on, Viv! Yes, you did it! [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.]
I declare that Vivienne Rook is duly elected as Member of Parliament for this constituency! CROWD CHANTING: Viv! Viv! Viv! Oh, my God.
I promise you, this is the day when British politics will You don't mind, do you? - No! - No.
[CHEERING AND WHOOPING.]
This is just the beginning.
This is just the beginning.
CROWD CHANTING: Viv! Viv! Viv! Viv! - He's got to cross the border.
- You mean illegally? If the exit polls are correct, this is an extraordinary result.
I will decide! [WHOOPING AND CHEERING.]