Young Sheldon (2017) s05e01 Episode Script

One Bad Night and Chaos of Selfish Desires

1 You apologize to your brother Previously on Young Sheldon Why do you always take his side? I hate this family! I was handling it till you came and bulldozed right over me.
- MARY: Sheldon was upset.
: This isn't about Sheldon.
It's about you thinking you're always right.
- Where are you going? - I'm running away.
I'm coming with you.
You really want to start this up again? Oh, really? Did I want to spend my evening getting yelled at by my daughter and my son and my wife? I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so unhappy.
Because you never bothered to ask.
BRENDA: Hi, George.
Oh, hey, Brenda.
You want some company? Sure.
[upbeat country music playing.]
And then Missy starts tearing everybody a new one, 'cause her little boyfriend broke up with her.
Poor thing.
But good training for when her husband dumps her one day.
I'm sorry about that.
No, you know what, the truth is, it was over a while ago.
- It happens.
- But, hey, he's got the kids tonight and ladies drink half price, - so let's pretend I'm a lady.
- [laughs.]
Yes, ma'am.
- Mm.
- Mm.
You look like you could use a shot with that beer.
Shots? I got school in the morning.
I didn't realize we were both here for ladies' night.
Can we get some shots over here? How am I supposed to compete with a seventh grader? Mom won't even let me shave my legs.
Can we please go home? You can.
I'm not.
As we've established, woods: very scary, me: very scared.
Then I guess you're here until the sun comes up.
So I'll be able to see what kills me? Pass.
Can you at least go back to complaining about boys so I can get some sleep? We licked the same Ring Pop once.
It's like it meant nothing.
: You were a cheerleader? Yeah.
I mean, you wouldn't know it to look at me now.
Don't say that.
I can totally see you on top of that pyramid.
Oh, I was on the bottom, and you know it.
But at least I could fill out a sweater.
You and me both, sister.
["What's Your Name" by Lynyrd Skynyrd playing.]
Oh! I love Skynyrd! You know what? I saw them play Dallas.
You're kidding.
Wh-What year? I'd just got kicked out of beauty school, so I guess [sighs.]
'76? I was at that show! - Stop it.
- Nah.
Nazareth opened.
Oh, my God.
They did.
They did.
Small world.
Shootin' you straight Little girl You want to dance? [chuckles.]
: Me? No.
- Oh, come on.
- No.
There's people here.
Well then what if we go someplace else? What do you have in mind? Herschel does have the kids.
Ah, yeah Oh, God, I'm sorry.
: That was that was over the line.
[low groan.]
- [pants.]
- You okay? George? [exhales.]
Nobody else is stronger than I am Yesterday I moved a mountain I bet I could be your hero I am a mighty little man [phone ringing.]
Hello? Mary, it's Brenda.
George is in the hospital.
Wha? Why? What's going on? I'm not sure.
The paramedics think it might be his heart.
Is he okay? I don't know.
The doctors are with him now.
Uh all right, I'll be there as soon as I can.
Georgie? Kids, put your clothes on! We [Mary gasps.]
And now I'm gonna need a new notebook, 'cause mine has "Missy and Marcus forever" written all over it.
[snoring softly.]
[people shouting on TV.]
Less monkey, more Clint.
There we go.
[phone rings.]
Hello? Are the kids with you? No.
Why? George is in the hospital, and the kids are missing.
What's wrong with George? Something with his heart.
I don't know what to do.
Okay, okay, uh, well, you go to the hospital, and I'll go over to the house and see if I can find the kids.
Thank you.
Uh, you think they might be with Georgie? I don't know where he is, either! [rock music playing.]
You sure your boss isn't gonna show up? Yeah, but not positive.
So let's keep this train on the tracks.
[pager beeping, vibrating.]
Aren't you gonna check that? Nope.
But what if it's an emergency? It's not.
I'm turning this off.
Dadgummit! Well, is he gonna be okay? You know as much as I do.
Now help me find the kids.
I'm on it.
I have an idea where they went.
And where are you, by the way? Uh, at work.
This time of night? Why? Got to find the kids.
Have you heard anything? Not yet.
Oh, what happened? Um, I-I ran into George at the bar, and next thing I know, he started having chest pains.
Well, thank the Lord you were there with him.
I really didn't do anything.
Don't say that! Who knows what would've happened if you hadn't been there? [chuckles.]
: Yeah.
: Missy? Sheldon! [gasps.]
What the hell?! You scared me.
You scared me.
Everyone scared me.
Dad's in the hospital.
We got to go.
Is he okay? I don't know.
Come on.
KWOK: Mrs.
Cooper? Your husband's gonna be okay.
Oh! Praise the Lord.
It was mild angina pectoris.
We're gonna keep him for observation, but he's awake and you could see him now.
Thank you, Doctor.
Yeah, um Yeah, I'm gonna get out of here.
You go see George.
What? No! You might have saved his life.
He's gonna want to thank you.
You know, that's nice, but I think it's best if Brenda, I insist.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Come on.
[monitor beeping steadily.]
Look who I have with me.
Hey, George.
Are you okay? - Do you need a doctor? - Oh, no.
Nah, I was just excited to see you, hmm? [monitor beeping faster.]
[rapid beeping.]
- [alarm beeping.]
- [nervous chuckle.]
Good news.
Your dad's doing okay and should be home in a couple of days.
Thank God.
Thank modern medicine.
Hmm, all right, you two try and get some sleep, okay? Meemaw? Do you think I gave Dad a heart attack? What? No.
This isn't your fault.
I was really mean to him.
I was mean to him as well.
What I did was so much worse.
That is true.
When we're receiving our punishment, they should really let you have it.
Okay, y'all go to sleep.
But I was just an accomplice.
It wouldn't be fair if we got equal punishment.
[Missy sighs.]
ADULT SHELDON: My meemaw didn't understand.
When I was feeling anxious, it was rules and structure that I found soothing Not to mention the relaxing melody of the Star Trek theme song.
[humming Star Trek theme.]
[continues humming.]
Stop that.
As soon as I'm soothed.
[resumes humming Star Trektheme.]
[Sheldon hums ascending notes ending theme.]
: Bad enough they rolled me out in a wheelchair I didn't need.
You could've let me drive.
You got winded getting in the car.
- You heard that, huh? - [exhales.]
Should we talk about what happened the other night? What happened the other night? Us having that huge fight.
Oh, that, that.
Forget it.
How can I? It was a bad night.
I say best thing is to put it in the rearview mirror.
: Oh, I would love that.
The other night never happened.
Thank you.
[chuckles softly.]
DISC JOCKEY: And up next we've got a twofer of Lynyrd Skynyrd coming at you.
["What's Your Name" playing.]
[clicks off radio.]
Could use a little peace and quiet.
ADULT SHELDON: With my father home from the hospital, my mother had instructed us to let him relax.
And what could be more relaxing than a spirited discussion of societal rules and morality? SHELDON: Dad.
What's up? I'm struggling with an ethical crisis.
Be a kid.
Quit struggling.
Missy and I broke a lot of rules the other night, and we've received no punishment.
Buddy, it's been a rough week.
We're just glad you're both safe.
But in the absence of a divine being, society's rules are what keeps a person's morality in check.
Well, there you go.
No, y-you're not following me.
If actions have no repercussions, society breaks down, everything devolves into chaos.
You might be overthinking this.
I thought so, too.
Then I thought about it, and I'm not.
Sheldon, you had one bad night.
Just let it go.
But I did something wrong and I got away with it.
That's not okay.
- Buddy - Socrates maintained that the man who lies to himself has an enemy living within.
He's not even a person.
He's just a chaos of selfish desires wrapped in an animal hide.
Pastor Jeff is here.
You up for some company? You bet! Got to talk to the pastor.
Hey, George, Sheldon.
Excuse me, I have to "git.
" Just wanted to bring by some get-well cards from the kids at Sunday school.
Well, isn't that sweet.
Some interesting spellings of the name "George.
" My favorites are "Gorge" and "Garage.
" [chuckles.]
: Well, you tell the kids that Coach Gorge appreciates it.
- Will do.
- You want to sit? I'm not gonna stay long.
I just want to pray over you a little and let you get some rest.
Okay, yeah, sure.
Lord, I thank you for George Cooper and pray that you heal him from the inside out.
This is a good man, a family man, a devoted father and a faithfulhusband.
Bless him and everything he does.
Heck yes, amen! [knocking.]
Everything okay? I'm having a moral quandary, and I could really use your help.
Oh, moral quandaries.
I hate those.
You're the least moral person I know How do you live with yourself? I'm about to shut this door in your face.
See? Other people would be kind to a child in need.
That's why I came to you.
Okay, fine.
What do you want? I'm confused as to how to go about my business after misbehaving and not being punished.
- And where do I come in? - You tell lies, you gamble, you have quite the potty mouth, and yet you never seem to pay a price for any of it.
Well, when you're cute like me, rules are just a little different.
That would also explain the endless parade of romantic partners.
Are you leaving because you have a man in there? MEEMAW: No! Hmm.
Although she would lie about it, so who knows? - [knocking.]
- Yeah? Can I talk to you? Of course.
What's up? I feel really bad about the other day.
I was so mean to you.
Don't worry about it.
But you were just trying to help and then I yelled at you and then you had a heart attack.
That had nothing to do with you.
: We don't know that.
Come here.
- [sighs.]
- I'm so sorry.
How are you doing with all that stuff? You mean Marcus? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
It's okay.
- [sniffles.]
- So, what happened? You're not gonna believe this, but he was hanging out with another girl behind my back.
Oh, well may-maybe they're just friends.
Heather M.
saw them holding hands at the roller rink.
Does that sound like friends to you? Well no.
Are all boys liars? Uh no.
I mean, how could he do this to me? I thought I could trust him.
Did he think I wouldn't find out? You know what, kiddo? I think it's time for Daddy to take his heart pills.
I'm glad we talked.
: Oh, me, too, me, too.
- Hmm? - I just wanted to let you know I invited Brenda over for a big thank-you dinner.
: Oh.
[sighs, coughs.]
[door opens.]
What are you doing? Trying to fix this radio.
Should you be doing that with a weak heart? I'm just sitting here.
You look a little sweaty.
What do you want? I'm gonna go hang out with Jana.
Just wanted to make sure you're doing okay.
Hold on.
Are you worried I'm gonna have a heart attack and interrupt "private time" with your girlfriend? Yes.
At least you're honest.
Glad you think so.
See you.
BRENDA [whispers.]
: Psst.
What's up? How you doing? - Hanging in.
- So is it weird, me coming over for dinner? What do you mean? You know exactly what I mean.
Brenda, I had a lot to drink that night.
You know, I don't remember much.
You don't? No, I do not.
I guess I don't either.
See you at dinner.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
SHELDON: I still don't understand why you'd rather work here than be a physicist.
I'm enjoying the change of pace.
And they let me take home all the expired food I want.
- So, what brings you here? - Well, I did something wrong, and yet I've received no punishment.
What's my incentive to behave morally if the rules of society aren't being enforced? Reminds me of the Ring of Gyges.
I'm not familiar with the Ring of Gyges.
Oh, it's a delightful brainteaser.
Plato asked the question: If you could wear a ring that made you invisible, what would prevent you from committing the most horrendous crimes? Sounds an awful lot like the Ring of Sauron in The Lord of the Rings.
I'm not familiar with The Lord of the Rings.
Oh, it's a delightful series of fantasy books in which there's a ring that makes the wearer invisible but also leads to moral corruption.
Perhaps you should read Plato, and I should read The Lord of the Rings.
You should really start with The Hobbit.
What's a hobbit? It's a race of short humanoids who live in burrows and have hairy feet.
I've been called that.
But I never knew what it was.
MAN [on TV.]
: The ancient secrets of the mystic tarot - foreshadow your future.
- [phone ringing.]
If you dare to discover your destiny Hello? Hey, Brenda.
WOMAN: Your mind holds limitless powers Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Well, we'll have to pick another day, then.
Feel better.
What's going on? Brenda can't make it to dinner.
She's not feeling well.
- Oh, that's too bad.
- I'll make hera plate and run it over later.
I can bring that if you want.
You sure? Yeah.
I was a little out of it at the hospital.
I really want to say thanks.
- [door closes in distance.]
- That'd be nice.
: Ooh.
I'm in time for dinner.
'Cause I have worked up an appetite.
Mary wanted to send over some food, since you weren't feeling well.
Thank you.
Can we talk a minute? Look, I'm-I'm sorry about earlier.
It's okay.
I understand.
I just don't want this to be weird.
We're neighbors.
You and my wife are friends.
Your kids aren't here, right? No.
S-So, we're-we're neighbors.
You and my wife are friends.
That's why it's weird, George.
But nothing actually happened.
There's no reason to feel guilty.
- Okay.
- I mean, did we have too much to drink? Sure.
Did-did we talk about going home from the bar together? Okay, I'm sorry about that.
No need to apologize, 'cause we didn't go.
All we did was have a nice time in a public place.
Mm? Is there anything wrong with that? Kind of feels like it.
It does feel like it.
- Why does it feel like it? - [sighs.]
Maybe 'cause it was nice to talk to someone and feel special.
It was.
Mm, maybe you should go.
I should go.
- Thanks for stopping by.
- Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
ADULT SHELDON: In the face of a chaotic world, we all seek comfort in different ways.
Some turn to a higher power.
Lord, please protect my family, keep them in your hands.
All my cares, all my worries, all my fears for them ADULT SHELDON: Some take refuge in fictitious worlds.
My congratulations, Captain.
A dazzling display of logic.
You didn't think I had it in me, did you, Spock? No, sir.
["Learning to Fly" by Tom Petty playing.]
So great.
ADULT SHELDON: And one person I know relied on lighter fluid and a match.
What goes up That's right, burn.
Must come down What are you doing?! Moving on.
I'm learning to fly - Learning to fly.
- From what?
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