Young Sheldon (2017) s05e11 Episode Script

1 Previously on Young Sheldon You see that little screw there? Just go ahead and tighten her up.
- Like this? - Yep.
Uh, run outside and turn the water back on.
Who knew you were so handy? Yeah.
There's just things guys need to be good at.
What else you good at? Pastor Jeff is looking to bring in - a youth pastor.
- Well, hey, y'all.
I need to tell you something in confidence.
No one's home.
It's just the two of us.
That's what I was hoping.
This is wrong.
Hey.
- Oh, hi.
- Question.
Y'all ever had a youth lock-in? Oh.
No.
Whenever we talk about it, - Pastor Jeff shoots it down.
- Why? Kids love sleepovers.
Doing it here shows them church can be fun.
I don't know.
The Methodists did it last year.
They're still cleaning up Silly String.
Sounds like they had a blast.
I'll talk to Pastor Jeff.
Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you.
Lock-in? I love it! Look at that.
You always say no.
That was before I had a baby in the house.
I love him, but a night away sounds like magic.
I'm on it.
Hey, you want to chaperone with me? Oh.
Uh - I don't know.
- Come on.
We'll pull an all-nighter.
It'll be fun.
Yeah, Mary.
Don't be such a lame-o.
I'm not a lame-o.
I'm a fun-o.
So you're in? You betcha.
All right.
Fun-o is in.
We got ourselves a lock-in to plan.
Come on.
Need a hand? This thing ate my quarters, and now it's stuck.
That tends to happen with number seven.
What you want to do is a push-pull.
And here I was just pushing like a damn fool.
I ain't seen you in here before.
Oh, I just moved back from San Antonio.
Oh, big city girl.
Well, now I'm "living back with my parents" girl.
That's all right.
I lived with my folks not too long ago.
Isn't it weird? Whenever you live at home, no matter how old you are, you feel like a teenager.
It did feel that way.
I'm Georgie.
Mandy.
And now that we're on a first-name basis, I'm gonna throw my underwear in here.
And since I'm a gentleman, I ain't gonna look.
You just looked.
I did.
You do not look as if you meet the age requirement.
I'll be 16 next month.
Wil Wheaton plays Wesley Crusher.
He's a child prodigy who's very young to be on the bridge of a Galaxy-class starship.
- Okay.
- But he's so intelligent that most people come to rely on him.
Okay.
- Sounds kind of familiar, huh? - Okay.
Anybody home? - In here.
- Hello.
Okay.
I have something fun for us to do on Saturday night.
- Ooh, what? - The church is thinking - No.
- Ugh.
Hold on.
We're gonna do an overnight lock-in with pizza and games and movies.
Boys and girls? Yes.
I got to find cute pajamas.
So, what do you say? Disrupting my sleep schedule to fraternize with children my own age? - We both know the answer.
- I figured.
I just wanted to make sure.
Although I could use someone as my eyes and ears if the kids get to causing trouble.
Are you asking me to help enforce the rules and police the other children? Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that.
Because if you do, I'm in.
Then what you said.
I need to pick out pajamas.
Did you give it the old push-pull? You're back soon.
What do you know about getting wine stains out of rayon? You got to let it soak first.
Does that work? I don't know.
That's just my answer to every laundry question.
Smooth.
So, what'd you do in San Antonio? I was the weather girl at the local TV station.
No way.
So you were on TV? 5:30 every morning.
More people are seeing me right here.
Why'd you leave? The station manager and I broke up.
But now his new girlfriend gets to be on TV.
At 8:30.
That bitch.
- That sucks.
- And now I'm here, hoping I don't run into anybody I went to high school with.
Well, I think you're safe.
Loretta there is one of our younger customers.
Oh.
Seems like a good place to meet girls.
I met you.
But play it cool.
Loretta can get real jealous.
Okay.
Last chance.
You can still come chaperone.
Hmm.
All night in a church with a bunch of other people's kids.
And Pastor Jeff and Pastor Rob.
Ooh, two pastors? Well, that is hard to say no to, but let me give it a shot.
No.
Your loss.
Missy, tell Billy we're leaving - in 20 minutes! - Okay! Billy's going, too, huh? - Yeah, of course.
- And Brenda gonna chaperone? She was less interested than you.
Oh, there's no way she's less interested than me.
Well, I've already confiscated a can of shaving cream, a box of stink bombs and a PG-13 movie.
- What was the movie? - Dirty Dancing.
Which is redundant because all dancing's dirty.
Well, I guess it's good we got some eyes on the inside.
Okay, I think everyone's here.
Why don't we, uh, circle up, kick things off with a prayer.
Great.
Great.
Take your neighbor's hand.
Uh, Pastor Jeff, - why don't you get in on this.
- Okay.
I'm neither holding hands nor praying.
I don't even know why I walked over here.
Heavenly Father, may this evening bring us closer to you.
Keep us safe and, most importantly, Heavenly Father, help us rock this night of fellowship.
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
Amen.
I don't think he heard you.
Amen! He can't hear you because he's not real.
One more time for Sheldon, y'all.
Amen! Hello.
Hello? I've seen this before.
They're big now, but they're gonna get small.
Yeah.
It's called Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
If you get scared, I'm here.
Terrific.
Bad news.
Baby's got a fever.
- I need to go home.
- Oh, no.
Well, don't worry about things here.
We got it covered.
- Thank you.
- If you want extra help, I can come.
N-No, no, we need you here.
I think you and I could handle it alone.
N This is definitely a three-person job.
Okay, if you say so.
All right, good luck.
I'm here in spirit.
If Sheldon finds booze, dibs.
You know one of the best things about working here? I always smell like dryer sheets.
Is that a good thing? Compared to how I used to smell, yeah.
Oh.
I guess I'm done.
Actually, sometimes these machines don't get it all dry on the first go.
Let me buy you another round.
Okay.
Thanks.
How about, while this runs, I take you to dinner? How old are you? Do not say 17.
Old enough.
Old enough to what? To drink? Yes, ma'am.
"Ma'am"? How old do you think I am? Well, I'm also old enough to know that's a trap, so How old are you? - 25.
- 21.
I was worried you were gonna say "19.
" Oh, no, I promise I'm not 19.
Hello.
- Hey.
- Oh.
Hi, Connie.
Is your power out? No.
Yours? Well, I just like asking everybody that question.
Of course it's out.
Don't yell at me.
I'm not yelling at you.
It's just such a stupid question.
Maybe it's just my side of the street.
Hey, I'm here by myself.
Why don't you - come by? - I'm good.
What, you'd rather sit in the dark than hang out with me? I got candles.
I'm gonna get some takeout.
I'm good.
Ooh.
Well, I could come over.
We could No.
Bye.
Hey.
It's George.
You want to grab a drink? Well, I'm a little busy, but, uh, sure.
- Why not? - Thank you for bein' a friend.
Gentlemen.
How are we tonight? - Be cool.
- Y'all wouldn't be planning on throwing any water balloons at the girls later? No, sir.
Nice try.
How did he know? Maybe God told him.
What are you girls reading? Christian Teen.
It's such a good one.
Oh.
Really, girls? - How'd you know? - Because I am your mother and I know everything.
You can keep this one.
What'd you get? Backpack full of water balloons.
- Oh.
- You? Sassymagazine.
Uh-oh.
I found this Walkman.
Peg, they can have that.
Mine now.
You guys want to play sardines? - What's that? - It's like hide-and-seek except one person hides and everyone else tries to find them.
That sounds like an acceptable form of fun.
It's only fun when we have a really good hider, so not you.
Hold on, I'm an excellent hider.
Do you know how many small spaces I've been stuffed into in my life? All right, go hide.
We'll close our eyes and count to 20.
One.
Two.
- Three.
- Why are you counting? I don't know.
When you did the weather, how'd you know if it was gonna rain or not? Oh, I didn't.
I just wore something low-cut and read it off a screen.
Nice.
Who's that? That's my grandma.
She owns the Laundromat.
- Oh, cool.
- Not really.
- I'm supposed to be there right now.
- Hey, - Meemaw.
- Well, funny seeing you here.
I'm just taking a little dinner break.
This is my friend Mandy.
Hi, Mandy.
Hello.
Here we go, two margaritas.
You need a chair? No, she's good.
Okay.
Be back in a sec to take your order.
I love their margaritas.
Yeah, but I'm driving, so I'll probably just have a sip or two.
Or none.
I'm pretty full on chips.
He is such a responsible young man.
Well, this was fun.
It was for me.
Nice meeting you.
Don't know when I've been so blue Interesting bar, George.
Just wanted a change of pace.
Well, other than the noise and smell, you've picked a winner.
You want to go someplace else, we'll go someplace else.
No, I'm happy to stay here and bust your balls.
I see they've even got a chili dog buffet, and just the sight of it makes me want to sit on a toilet.
Hey.
Hey.
What brings you here? Just having a drink with my buddy Tom.
Tom, this is my neighbor Brenda.
Well, hello there.
Hi.
Don't you usually hang out at Nate's? Well, I thought that was more your spot.
Yeah, usually.
But tonight he took me to this charming dump.
She works here.
Cool.
Well, it was nice meeting you.
I'll let y'all - enjoy your night.
- Good seeing you.
Hey, if you're here by yourself, - join us.
- Oh, no.
No, I wouldn't want to intrude.
We're probably leaving soon, anyways.
What are you talking about? You made me put on pants and leave the house.
I'm at least getting a beer out of this.
Fine.
Sit.
I'll grab us a round.
I guess I came here tonight to avoid you, - and you had the same idea.
- Mm.
Kind of funny.
Hilarious.
- You can just put it in the filing cabinet.
- Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Were all these cigarettes taken from the kids? Oh, no, those are Peg's.
She's got them stashed everywhere.
Takes me back.
- You were a smoker? - In college.
You know, I was trying to look older.
Oh.
Did it work? Imagine the Gerber Baby puffing on a Marlboro Light.
I'm glad I quit, though.
It's a disgusting habit.
- Oh, it is.
- Yeah.
I do miss it sometimes, though.
- Interesting.
- Oh.
It was a long time ago.
How long? Not that long.
Okay, I got a confession to make.
Me, too.
- When? - Well, when I first started this job.
- Oh! - Yeah, I was pretty stressed-out.
- You wouldn't have known it.
- Oh.
Thank you.
When was your last one? Wednesday.
Wow.
I was having a hard time with the kids.
You know, there's lighters in here, too.
I think she's asleep.
What if she's dead? She's not dead.
She looks dead.
I'm not dead.
22 minutes.
This has to be a record.
Are you ready for love? Before this goes any further, there's something I got to tell you.
- This is going further? Sweet.
- Listen to me.
I wasn't completely honest about my age.
You weren't? I'm actually 29.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Well, then, I guess there's something I should tell you.
I'm totally fine with that.
Great.
This is wrong, right? - You mean how much we're enjoying it? - Yes.
Well, that's the nice thing about being Christian.
We can always ask for forgiveness.
- You have to really mean it.
- Trust me, when I wake up with this taste in my mouth, I'll mean it.
I guess it reminds me of being young.
Hmm.
You remember your first cigarette? Eighth grade.
I snuck it out of my mom's purse.
Ugh, menthol.
Ooh.
You? Freshman year of college, - trying to impress Melissa Coolidge at a party.
- Mm.
- Man, I threw up so much.
- Oh, no.
In my defense, it was an impressive amount.
Anyway, his name is Billy, and he's in sixth grade, so you're gonna be seeing him in three or four or five years.
You met him at my house when we were playing poker.
- The big kid.
I love that kid.
- Mm-hmm.
Good.
Remember that when he's failing homeroom.
Oh, don't worry about grades.
He's gonna be a linebacker.
Where you been hiding this one, George? Haven't been hiding her.
Well, not that easy to hide.
I'll get us another round.
Tell her how I make more money than you.
Think I'm gonna head out.
Please don't.
I need to.
You stay.
I'll go.
No.
You're having fun.
Are you mad at me? No.
Yeah, I love my baby Heart and soul Love like ours Won't never grow old She's my sweet little thing She's my pride and joy She's my sweet little baby I'm her little lover boy Yeah, I love my baby like the finest wine Stick with her Until the end of time She's my sweet little thing She's my pride and joy She's my sweet little baby I'm her little lover boy.
Peg, how's it going? Last time I checked, they were all alive.
Where's Sheldon? Huh.
Sheldon? Where are you? Sheldon? That night began my winning streak at sardines.
Every lock-in, every birthday party, someone suggested we play, and I won every time.
Sheldon! I'm the king of sardines.