Young Sheldon (2017) s05e10 Episode Script

1 Previously on Young Sheldon So, there's a secret back room at the laundromat where you gamble? Yeah.
And you never told me? Well, this is how secrets work.
The cops shut me down.
Let's get this going again.
- What a haul, huh? - Now what happens? I take it home, pour it on the bed, and just roll around in it.
From grade school to high school, every moment of the day is accounted for.
From the morning bell to dismissal, you knew where you were supposed to be, what you were going to be learning, and which poor excuse for a teacher - you would have to correct.
- Ms.
Ingram, can I offer a suggestion? - What? - Never mind.
You do it your way.
Yes, Sheldon? I don't find that interesting.
Cooper? If you're going to ask us to run, don't you think you should lead by example? None of this prepared me for the gap-filled, Swiss cheese anarchy of a college schedule.
Look at these poor saps.
Desperately trying to occupy their time until the next class.
I smell your perfume.
So, what, pray tell, is today's problem? I have a four-hour gap in my schedule.
How is that a problem? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it's a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.
Fine, go hang out in the cafeteria.
I don't "hang.
" Go to the library.
Too noisy.
Take a nap.
Kids love those.
In a public place? I'm sorry, is this Woodstock? Sheldon, I'm not the one who made your schedule.
No, but as the president of the university, you do have the power to adjust the class times.
So, you expect me to disrupt the schedule of hundreds of students for your convenience? Finally, we're on the same page.
Sheldon, I have work to do, and I'm sure that you can solve this one on your own.
I suppose a nap might be refreshing.
What kind of lumbar support does that couch have? That's it.
Come with me.
Here we are.
What is this? A dorm room, and it's all yours.
You can study, take naps, do whatever you want.
No one's living here? Well, we had an Indian exchange student, but he developed a taste for barbecue, so his parents made him go home.
Well, thank you for this.
You're welcome.
It's like I always say, never underestimate the power of complaining.
I've been testing that theory for decades, still works like gangbusters.
So, how we doing? Not bad, but I still think if you let me advertise, we could get more people in here.
How do you advertise a place that ain't exactly legal? People love secrets.
We could get flyers that say, "Come to our secret gambling room, but, shh, don't tell anybody.
" That's how I feel about your ideas, "Shh, don't tell anybody.
" Hey, y'all.
Hey, June.
Glad you finally came down.
This is so fun, sneaking in through the back alley.
Y'all should get a secret knock.
'Cause secrets are fun, right? Absolutely.
Told you.
Go do your job.
So, how's this all work? You play, you lose, you go home smelling like cigarettes.
You just described my love life.
And if you're gonna take naps in your dorm, you might want an alarm clock.
And remember, no parties.
That was a joke.
And now I know.
Wait, he has a room here and at school? Well, it's just for downtime in between classes.
Why is his life constantly better than mine? That's a question you should get used to asking.
Don't be rude.
And you have a very nice life.
Yeah, yeah, loving parents, blah, blah, blah.
Hey, you better appreciate what you got.
There's a lot of kids out there who have way less than you.
I guess.
You have your own room.
I never had that growing up.
And then I was in the barracks, and then I married your mother.
Dang.
Yeah.
Tell me about it.
What happened to appreciating what you have? Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.
Maybe we could give out punch cards, like they do at the sandwich shop.
Punch cards for what? You know, every ten times you come here, you get a free play.
What's to keep people from punching it themselves? I'm getting me a free sandwich.
Whoo-hoo! Sounds like you're doing okay down here.
Oh, I'm doing better than okay.
I hit big.
Whoa.
$11,000? That can't be right.
Well, I see two ones and three zeroes.
Last time I checked, that's 11,000.
How did this happen? I got three bananas, and it asked me if I wanted to parlay, and I said, "Well, that sounds like fun," so I hit that button, and I went, "Whoo-hoo!" 'cause I won.
This has got to be a glitch.
Go get a manual and-and-and look up "glitch.
" - We have a manual? - Just find one.
- Is there a problem? - No, of course not.
That's okay.
You don't have to pay me.
Of course I do.
Good.
Then pay me.
- Found the manual.
- Great.
This is for the washing machines.
I'll be back.
Hello, Sam.
Hey.
What are you doing here? Well, I was gonna study in my dorm, but there was a sock on my door.
Oh, and you didn't want to touch it.
I understand completely.
Yeah, you really don't, but that's fine.
Well, I have a room here, so you could study with me if you'd like.
Oh, uh, yeah.
Yeah.
That'd be great.
Why was there a sock on your door? It's like a signal.
A signal for what? A signal that I should change the subject.
How are your classes going? So well, thank you for asking.
- I didn't realize you lived on campus.
- I don't.
Then why do you have a dorm room? So I have a place to go during the gaps in my schedule.
Wait, you have a single? Uh-huh.
And you don't even sleep here? Well, sometimes I take naps, but that mattress is lumpy-lumpy.
I live with two other girls in a room this size.
You should've complained to President Hagemeyer.
She was very accommodating.
Wait, there are two closets? That's a bathroom.
Are you kidding me? I share one with, like, 30 other people.
That sounds yucky.
It is, Sheldon.
It is very yucky.
However yucky you think it is, it is yuckier.
Well, you're welcome to use mine.
Just squat over the seat, don't sit.
This is so unfair.
You get so much more than every other student.
Fair isn't everyone getting the same thing.
Fair is everyone getting what they deserve.
Sheldon, that arrogant attitude is why no one sits with you in class or lunch or ever.
Well, I like to think that they're maintaining a respectful distance out of deference to my intellect.
No.
That's not what they're doing.
They're avoiding you because you're an entitled brat who thinks that you're better than everybody else.
So, I should just pretend I'm less intelligent than I am? You should realize that there are more important things in life than how smart you are.
Well, I'm also cute as a button, but it seems shallow to say it.
You could say it.
So, Georgie found the manual and figured out what the problem was.
I know the problem.
I cleaned you out.
Because when these machines get unplugged, they reset at the highest possible payout.
Wow, sounds like your problem.
Well I don't have $11,000.
I understand.
Thank you.
So, what are you gonna do about it? Well, obviously, lunch is on me.
Oh, wow.
The whole lunch? Even the little frilly toothpicks? What do you want me to do? Make me a partner.
What? No.
I already brought Georgie in, I have to pay the police off, I can't have another hand in the till.
Sounds like your problem again.
And then she said people avoid me - because I'm arrogant and entitled.
- Hmm I don't even know why it bothers me.
Well, Sheldon, it's normal to care what others in your peer group think of you.
Why? It's not logical.
Hear me out.
You see, humans have evolved as social animals, so your feeling hurt might be a deep evolutionary desire to cooperate with others to ensure your survival.
So, you're saying it makes sociobiological sense to want other people to like me? Yes, and you may even get benefits from it.
It's like on that show you enjoy, Star Track.
- Trek.
- Right.
Captain Kirk can't do it all by himself.
He needs Doctor Spock.
- Mister - Right.
And Mister McCoy.
- Doctor.
- Right.
Well, technically, they were his subordinate officers, but Kirk did always deal with them in a friendly manner, so I take your point.
Good man.
I suppose I could treat it like an experiment.
Run an analysis of the benefits of having people like me.
That sounds like an idea the Captain, the Doctor, or the Mister would be proud of.
Excellent.
You know, you'd think a smart fella like Spock would have a doctorate.
Actually, Spock rejected an offer from the Vulcan Science Academy in order to attend Starfleet.
Huh.
Not the choice I would have made, but I'm happy for him.
How'd it go? Terrible.
She wants to be a partner.
You really can't just pay her? I thought you had money.
I used to.
Now all I have is this.
Not all of it, some of it's mine.
Well, some of it's hers, too, now.
Well, is she a partner forever or just until she gets her money back? I don't know.
Seems like an important question to ask.
Well, I didn't ask it.
All this yelling can't be good for your blood pressure.
You're right.
I think I'm just gonna step outside and have a cigarette.
Smoking ain't any better.
Good.
Perhaps the end is near.
Excuse me, Sam.
- What? - How are you today? - Since when do you care? - 12:07 yesterday.
In light of the fact that we're both human beings and have a genetic interest in each other's prosperity, you may use my dorm room to study.
Wait, are you serious? That would be amazing.
Good.
And does that make you feel more positive about me, less positive, or neutral? Um, more, I guess.
Excellent.
Dr.
Sturgis may have been onto something.
It did feel nice to be liked.
Not as nice as knowing you're the smartest boy in Texas, but what was? Hey.
Did I just hear you say you have a dorm room you're letting people use? Yes.
I'm letting Sam use it to study.
You think there's any chance my girlfriend and I could use it sometime? You two study together? We'd like to.
It's been a while.
Well, I use it during the day, so it's only available at night.
Nights work for us.
Then it's all yours.
Thanks, man.
And how does this make you feel about me? More positive, less positive, or neutral? Really, really positive.
Great.
Tell a friend.
All right.
I might have to draw up a schedule.
How's this? Eh.
Looks great.
What the hell is all this? June brought in twinkle lights.
- Oh, did she? - I thought it might make things a little more festive.
Looks like Christmas in jail.
I actually have a really good story about that.
Take it down.
Maybe when you're in a better mood.
- I think it's pretty.
- Nobody asked you, Wade.
We may need to have a chat about customer service.
We're gonna have a chat about a lot of things, starting with how come you're redecorating without even asking me.
I'm a partner.
A silent partner.
Hey, I can help here.
She's got some good ideas.
So, you're on her side now? A good idea's a good idea, who cares where it comes from.
Thank you.
And I like your idea about putting a dartboard in the corner.
Oh.
So, this is how it's gonna be? Fine.
When Wade here takes a dart to the head, don't come crying to me.
I don't want a dart in the head.
Over the next several days, my social experiment was providing clear-cut data about the benefits - of being well-liked.
- Hey, Sheldon.
Heard you like these.
Thank you.
It's the best watery chocolate milk on the market.
Thank you for letting me use your room.
I suppose it was like the old saying, "I scratch your back, you scratch mine," which I actually have issues with.
Why is your back itchy? A rash? Chicken pox? Scabies? Scratch your own back.
It turns out it's easy to make people like you.
You just have to give them things.
Wow.
I think you've really discovered something here.
Perhaps I should publish before someone else stumbles onto it.
All right.
Oh.
Hey.
An all-nighter, huh? Oh, yeah.
All night.
Thank you.
Someone's gonna ace those midterms.
Yeah, you know it.
My room has become quite the little study hall.
Yeah, they may not be Uh, you know what, you're fine.
Well, isn't this nice? Little grandmother, grandson bonding time.
What's going on? Can't I buy my favorite grandson lunch? Look, we got to talk about this June situation.
She's just trying to make the place better.
This is our thing.
We can't just let her take over.
She ain't taking over, and she likes to hear my ideas.
She's just using you to get her way.
You know what your problem is? You don't like anything you didn't think of yourself.
- Is that so? - Yeah.
Well, I thought of bringing you in, and that wasn't a good idea.
If that's how you feel, then we got nothing more to talk about.
- I guess not.
- Well, okay.
You can go now.
My chicken fingers ain't here yet.
- Can we watch 90210? - What's that? It's about kids who go to school in Beverly Hills.
If you want to see a show about Beverly Hills, we should watch Beverly Hillbillies.
That's a show.
What's it about? Eh Imagine your meemaw moving to California.
I'd watch that.
Hello? Sheldon, it's for you.
Who is it? Who is it? Travis.
Who's Travis? Who are you? Friend of Sheldon's.
- Really? - Really? Hi, Travis.
Oh, Monday's no good.
I can pencil you in for Wednesday.
You got it.
Goodbye.
Is that a friend from school? I suppose.
Well, that's exciting.
And a little exhausting.
I've been letting students use my dorm to study while I'm not there, and it's made me very popular.
It's nice that you're helping people out.
Yes, but who knew having friends involved so much scheduling? Sheldon, some girl for you.
Hello? Hi, Sarah.
Well, if you and Ben really need the room on Wednesday, you're going to have to work it out with Travis and Amy because they asked first.
He's getting popular.
I think I might know why those kids want to use his room.
Well, he said for studying.
They ain't studying.
Oh, now it makes sense.
You really think they're A bunch of college kids in an empty dorm room? Should we tell him? I don't want to tell him.
Do you? - I'll tell him.
- No.
- Okay, hang on, she volunteered.
- No.
Whoa, and the '70s are back.
All we need are the Bee Gees and bell-bottoms, and it's Studio 54.
I don't know what any of that means, but all right.
So, I guess your meemaw came over on our side.
No.
She pissed me off, so now she gets a disco ball.
I don't want to get caught in the middle of a family squabble.
Oh, don't worry, she'll know it was me.
Then I love it.
Now, what's a Bee Gee? It's a brother singing band.
They did all the music for Saturday Night Fever.
What's Saturday Night Fever? Damn, I'm old.
Hey, Shelly, you busy? I'm turning my dorm room schedule into a spreadsheet, so people can sign up at school and stop calling me.
Yeah, about that George? Y-Your mother and I are worried that your friends at school might be taking advantage of you.
What do you mean? They might not be using it in the the spirit that you intended.
How are they using it? Mary? We're worried that those couples are not going there to study But that's why I'm lending them the room.
And that is why we are concerned.
Are you saying they're using it as a goof-off room? Yes.
That's exactly what we're saying.
Well, let's drive over there right now and catch them in the act.
- No! - L-Let's just let them finish goofing off tonight, and we'll put a stop to it tomorrow.
Well, thank you for telling me.
We thought that you should know.
Mm.
Those dirty goof-offs.
Beverly Hills, that is Swimming pools So those are the Clampetts, and they moved from the backwoods to Beverly Hills.
Oh, in 90210 the Walshes moved from Minnesota.
They have a hard time fitting in with those California snobs? - Oh, yeah.
- These guys do, too.
It's practically the same show.
Where's Georgie? In the garage.
- Disco ball, my ass.
- What's going on? It's a gambling room, not a damn dance club, that's what's going on.
Georgie! I want to watch that show.
Y'all come back now, y'hear?