Young Sheldon (2017) s05e15 Episode Script

1 - Previously onYoung Sheldon - I'm Georgie.
Mandy.
How about while this runs, I take you to dinner? How old are you? Do not say 17.
Twenty-one.
Well, funny seeing you here.
I'm just taking a little dinner break.
Here we go.
Two margaritas.
I love their margaritas.
Well, this was fun.
It was for me.
Nice meeting you.
I don't want to get ahead of myself, but the strength of the temperature deviations is looking rather spicy.
- How spicy? - Five microkelvin.
Muy caliente.
When should we publish? Not yet.
There's only a three-sigma significance.
It needs to be higher.
That'd require a much more robust signal.
And you know what that means.
Road trip to the super telescope? Road trip to the super telescope, baby.
When are we leaving? Oh, right.
You.
So far, the data is extremely promising.
Five microkelvin! Ah.
Well, you seem excited, so cool.
We just need budget approval to travel to the radio telescope in the Davis Mountains.
Fine by me.
- Yes! - On to more pressing matters.
- Does Sheldon Cooper have to come? - Shouldn't he? He is part of the team.
But isn't there some rule against minors traveling? - No.
- Can there be? No, it's better for the project if he's out there in the field with you.
But isn't it better for his education - if he stays here in class? - Oh, I think that a trip like this could be very educational - in its own way.
- Mm.
You just don't want him around here bugging you.
Winner winner he's-going-with-you dinner.
Hey, there.
You're Georgie's friend, right? Yeah.
Mandy.
Hi.
- You grow up around here? - I did, yeah.
And then I, uh, moved to San Antonio for a while after college.
- After college.
- Yeah.
A&M.
Then I got an internship at Good Morning San Antonio.
- Uh-oh.
- Then I worked my way up - to doing the morning weather report.
- Hey, y'all.
Well, speak of the devil.
- What's going on, ladies? - Just getting to know Mandy here.
Yeah, I was telling her about San Antonio.
Oh, she's from Texas.
She knows all about that stuff.
- Anyways, I'll let you get back to work.
- Well, I'll leave you two kids be.
And listen to me, calling you young adults "kids.
" Like you were still teenagers or something.
I wish.
Mom, can I have your AAA card? - Why? - I need to order a TripTik for my road trip to Fort Davis.
Who said you could go to Fort Davis? President Hagemeyer.
Well, I didn't say you could go.
It's fine.
I'll be with Dr.
Sturgis and Dr.
Linkletter.
For how long? Three days.
And they're okay with this? Why wouldn't they be? No reason.
- Hmm.
- Just the same, I'm gonna check in with them.
In the meantime, can I call AAA? - Can it please wait? - No.
Card is in my purse.
You're what guys call "a keeper.
" Mandy seems nice.
She's all right.
Things getting serious? - I don't know.
Why? - Just wondering when you were gonna tell her your real age.
- Age ain't nothing but a number.
- Yeah, well, her number's way bigger than your number.
You ain't never lied about your age? I'm a lady.
Different rules.
- It's not a big deal.
We're just having fun.
- Yeah, well, before you have too much fun, you better tell her.
That sounds less fun.
Welcome to being an adult.
It sucks.
Dr.
Linkletter? Mary Cooper.
Ah, Mrs.
Cooper.
I assume this is about the upcoming trip and perhaps your very understandable reluctance to let Sheldon come.
I have to admit I do have some concerns.
As you should.
So, you're saying you'd prefer he not go with us? But he'd be so disappointed.
Not more disappointed than me.
So, you feel good about him going? Only if you feel good about it.
You're his parent.
I'm just an absentminded academic who's never had children.
Come on, now.
You've been such a great help looking after him at college.
Yes, but college isn't the same as three days in a van.
Huh.
Sheldon can be a nervous traveler.
Ah.
Sounds like you don't want him to go.
No, I do want him to go.
I just want to make sure that you and Dr.
Sturgis are okay with it.
We're okay with it.
If you're okay with it.
If you're okay with it, I'm okay with it.
Then it would seem we're both okay with it.
Okay.
- Okay.
- Oh, he's gonna be so happy.
Uh-huh.
You ready for your road trip? Yes.
I'm plotting bathroom breaks.
It's tricky because I'm not sure how frequently Dr.
Linkletter and Dr.
Sturgis need to urinate.
Maybe I should call them.
Ooh, I wouldn't.
You ask old guys about their bladder, you're in for a long conversation.
What's with the maps? I'm going with Dr.
Sturgis and Dr.
Linkletter to a radio telescope in the Davis Mountains.
Of course you are.
- Problem? - Nope.
He gets to do whatever he wants, and I'm not even allowed to go the beach with my friends.
It's just a school trip.
It's fine.
Oh.
Says here Fort Stockton is home to the world's largest roadrunner statue, which is the stuff of nightmares.
But they do have a restroom.
Can I talk to you? - Am I in trouble? - No.
It's about a girl.
Oh.
You're in trouble.
Yeah, sure.
I'm not really in trouble.
I'm just dating this girl, and she's a little older than me.
What's the problem? She doesn't exactly know how much older than me she is.
How much older is she? Like ten years.
But she's blond and she's really hot.
Well, that doesn't matter.
I mean, if you're lying to her, that's not okay.
Hold on.
You're saying if you were my age and dating this hot girl, you'd tell her the truth and blow your chances? Well, that's not the question you asked me.
So, what would you really do? She married? - No.
- She got kids? - No.
- I don't see the problem.
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
You're like the son I never wanted.
Hey, I know I don't work here anymore, but could I use this office tonight? No.
Fine.
Did you used to? No.
You might want to pace yourself.
Our next rest stop isn't for another 62 miles.
If anyone needs to go before that, I've got a trucker's buddy in back.
What's that? A bottle you urinate in.
I'm sorry, are we the Donner Party? Societal norms are different on road trips.
Normally, I don't eat junk food, but here, it's tradition.
I'm not even sure what a chicharron is.
It's the deep-fried skin of a pig.
That seems like something they should say on the bag.
How about some music? No one likes music.
How about a car game? Ooh, I have a fun one where I say a formula, and then you have to say another formula starting with the last letter or number that I said.
So, for example, if I said, - "X" equals negative "B" plus or minus - Music it is.
I'm sorry I can't help out on driving duty.
- You really never learned? - I got my permit, but I've never been comfortable behind the wheel.
That's a shame.
I do enjoy the tranquility of the open road.
I find it produces a Zen-like calm.
Mm.
You know what else is calming? A fun car game.
How about this.
We'll count out-of-state license plates.
First one to a hundred wins.
Not as fun as mine, but very well.
Um Ooh, Oklahoma.
Silently.
Hey.
Is your mom home? Church.
Oh.
What are you up to? Nothing.
Put your shoes on.
Why? Let's you and me go do something fun.
Something I think is fun or something you think is fun? Something we both think is fun.
Come on, get in the truck.
- You gonna teach me how to drive? - No.
You sure? It would just make me feel so much better - about all the stuff Sheldon gets to do.
- You're not driving.
I would seriously love you so much if I could drive.
Stop it.
At what age do guys stop acting like idiots? Oh, no.
What'd I do now? Not you.
Georgie's dating an older woman and he's lying about his age.
Oh.
That rascal.
You already knew.
You don't know what I know.
I see it in your face.
Fine.
Well, he asked for my advice.
Well, I hope you told him that he has to come clean.
I did.
Sounds like there's a "but" on the way.
But then he asked me what I would've done.
- Dale.
- Well, uh, you don't know all the facts.
What are the facts? He said that she was blond and hot.
And that makes it okay to lie? At my age, no.
At his age? No.
Does it go straight like this for a while? It's Texas.
Goes straight like this for the rest of our lives.
You thinking of giving it a try? Well, there aren't any cars around.
Uh, seems like a good place to practice.
Excellent.
I could use a break.
This is exciting.
I'm all atingle.
You are not peeing in a bottle.
Here we are.
Red Lobster? You love this place.
Holy moly.
It's good, huh? Unbelievable.
Yeah, when I was, like, eight.
Well, come on, we had our first daddy-daughter date here.
Oh, my God, don't ever call it that again.
What? I have friends who come here on actual dates.
They might see us.
Thought it'd be nice.
Can we please go anywhere else? Fine.
- You know, they have those cheddar biscuits.
- Dad.
Fine.
I'm doing it.
This is going quite well.
Feel free to pick up the pace.
- A butterfly just passed us.
- Well, - what's the speed limit? - 75.
And I'm going ten.
I'll pick up the pace.
Speaking of slow-moving transportation, did you know that the slowest express train in the world is the Glacier Express in Switzerland? I spent a month in Switzerland at CERN.
Oh, no! I hit an armadillo.
So? Just keep driving.
No, I can't.
I have to check on it.
Is he hoping it's alive or dead? Alive.
Ugh.
Oh, no, what have I done? It's still moving.
Like we should be.
Let's go.
We need a box and a towel.
We don't need a coffin.
The birds will eat it.
It's to keep it safe until we find help.
John, these animals carry all kinds of diseases.
That's what the towel's for.
This is Texas.
Armadillo roadkill is practically the state animal.
So, where you want to go? I am up for anything.
I was thinking the bar, but I go there so much.
What about a movie? Or we could just go back to your place.
Oh.
That-That'd be amazing.
Well, amazing's a lot of pressure, but I'll give it a shot.
I don't know who I am Listen, when I said I moved out of my parents' place, that was true.
But I'm kind of living in their garage.
Well, my parents are in the bedroom next to mine, so it's your place or nothing.
My place works.
Don't get bitten.
I'm not wrapping you in a towel, too.
I'm just giving it water.
Okay, there's a firehouse 28 miles away.
I bet they can help.
I was thinking we'd leave it on their doorstep.
This isn't a joke.
I injured this creature, so I have to take care of it.
Do you understand? Yes, sir.
Well, it's not lobster, but least your friends won't see us.
Sorry.
It's okay.
You're just getting older.
I guess.
Sure I was a jackass to my parents, too.
Hey! How's your burger? So good.
It is pretty good.
Hey, maybe this can be our new spot for daddy-daughter dates.
- Please stop saying that.
- What? Daddy-daughter dates? Yes.
Mm.
Okay.
What would you like me to call our daddy-daughter dates? You're so annoying.
This isn't exactly the firehouse I was expecting.
Are minors allowed in here? No one should be allowed in here.
I'm sure they have a phone we can use.
Excuse me, barkeep? Could we get some help over here? And don't say "barkeep.
" Well, he knocked me down, but I'm on my feet Y'all must be lost.
Oh, we're not lost.
You can't get lost with a AAA TripTik.
I mean, I don't know where you're trying to be, but this ain't it.
- Message received.
We'll be on our way.
- Please.
We have an injured armadillo that needs medical assistance.
You brought that filthy thing into my bar? And now we're taking it out.
Let's go.
- If we could just use your phone.
- Look, you seem like nice folk, but Yankees ain't popular around here.
I suggest you be on your way.
Sorry to have troubled you.
- Let's go.
- Excuse me.
My colleagues may be from the North, but for your information, I'm a Texan, born and bred.
I know that real chili has no beans, and when my meemaw says, "Bless your heart," she means something very different.
Now, my friend here is in need of help, and since our state motto is literally "friendship," may he please use your phone? Well, I work Well, dang.
Eight when I am able And could I trouble you for a yellow pages? Oh, boy.
Oh, Georgie.
I'm so disappointed in you.
Is everything okay? Yeah.
Very okay.
Tell her before things go too far.
Would you leave the kid alone? - He's just having some fun.
- He's lying, and she deserves to know.
Just let it go.
No.
He's feeling guilty, and he's gonna do the right thing.
Connie, the second that girl's shirt comes off, it's game over.
No.
My grandson has more integrity than you're giving him credit Amazing.
Boy, I am stuffed.
You know, if you're too full to drive, I could help.
You're not driving my truck.
Come on.
Just here in the parking lot? No.
Please, Daddy? I know what you're doing.
Creating memories that'll last a lifetime? Okay.
Foot on the brake.
Which one's that? Oh, boy.
The one on the left.
- Got it.
- All right.
Now pull the shifter toward you and then down to "D," like this.
Here.
All right? Now, the most important step.
Do not ever tell your mother we did this.
I'm not an idiot.
Let's go.
All right.
Now take your foot off the brake and gently put it on the I'm driving! I know you're a human hospital, but the animal hospital isn't answering their phone.
Well, is there a doctor who has a soft spot for pets? Maybe a nurse with pictures of cats on her desk? You can hang up the phone, John.
Why? I think you know why.
But only would I Thank you for your time.
Well, that's a shame.
I'm sorry.
It's just an armadillo, right? It didn't seem that way to you in the van.
I know it's silly, but when I saw it lying there all bald and helpless, I thought, "That's gonna be me one day.
" That is the most damn depressing thing I have ever heard.
The end of life does tend to be depressing.
In New Orleans, they embrace the tradition of a jazz funeral where the deceased are celebrated through music.
That's true.
Barkeep, do you happen to have any Dixieland jazz on the jukebox to celebrate the life of an armadillo? Y'all need to leave now.
- Turn away from sin - After a quick burial behind the bar, we were back on the road.
Dr.
Sturgis tried to find some appropriate music for a proper send-off.
Three Christian talk shows and a whole lot of static later, he settled on what he declared the Dixieland jazz of West Texas.
Mariachi.
Vaya con dios, armadillo.
Vaya con dios.