Younger (2015) s07e06 Episode Script

The F Word

Previously on "Younger"
I just gotta get used
to her being around.
Kinda sounds like you got a kid.
Thanks to her, I never,
ever want children.
I run from babies.
We have an open teaching position,
and you are a perfect fit.
When you know what you want,
you don't apologize for it.
You go for it.
Maggie, this is my wife, Camilla.
I remember you.
I literally told her to find
a guy with kind eyes
and a strong jawline
to stand next to her,
and she would jump ten
points in the polls.
Leather or tweed?
Oh, tweed, definitely. Very dignified.
I won't pretend that didn't hurt.
Don't be offended.
You served your purpose.
I just don't want to look too academic.
Sure, that makes sense,
considering today is your first
day as a literal professor!
Are you excited?
Artist-in-residence, technically,
and no, I am just too nervous
about the students
Oh, you think you're
gonna run into Kamila?
Oh, shit. You think I'm
gonna run into her?
No, I no. I meant the
students, too, obviously.
Nerve-racking. But, yeah.
I mean, have you thought about
the very real possibility
that you might see the woman
you rogered in an alleyway
and turned out to be
your new boss's wife?
Shh, let's talk about
your problems instead.
Okay? What's good with Chaz these days?
I haven't said a word about Charles.
No, no, but that little
cartoon thought bubble
above your head has a
three-piece suit in it,
and it's bespoke. Just saying.
Okay, fine.
I decided I'm gonna tell
Charles about Quinn.
If she's actually reentering politics
and using him and his daughters
to boost the viability
of her campaign, he deserves to know.
- Uh-huh.
- And, if he stays with her,
then at least I've done my part,
and he's aware that she has an agenda.
And if not, well then, you know,
he's making a informed decision
based on all the facts.
- What?
- You don't need to rescue him.
I mean, he's not your
responsibility anymore.
Well, it's not just him.
It's the girls, too.
Oh, I didn't realize
you had joint custody.
I have a hunch you'd
be nicer in the tweed.
I've been surrounded by greasy,
un-showered roadies
for weeks.
New York cannot come soon enough.
And neither can I.
- Hey, now.
- Clear your schedule.
We are not leaving that apartment,
except maybe to go to
the Pleasure Chest.
- So you want to get creative, hm?
- Mm-hmm.
- What'd you have in mind?
- Hm, I don't know.
Surprise me.
Oh, Josh, can I have some
of this pureed apricot
- in the fridge?
- Hey, shh.
Can I call you back tonight?
Hey, can you just not mention baby food
- when I'm on the phone with KT?
- No, come on.
You still haven't told her
about your offspring?
It's not like I haven't tried.
She's never here. And when she is,
she usually just goes to sleep
- right afterwards, so
- Josh, you need to tell her.
Okay? The longer you wait,
the bigger a deal it is.
It's festering, like an abscess.
Can you not compare my daughter
to an abscess, please?
No, I meant the adorable kind.
I'll figure it out on my time.
- Morning, hi.
- Good morning, Eliza.
I'm just going to come
right out and say this.
Maybe I'm not the best
person to be telling you,
so don't shoot the messenger,
but there's something
that you need to know.
Hey. Are we meeting in here today?
Hi, hi, team.
Oof, you okay, Lies?
What did you just call me?
Lies, like short for Liza?
Relax, it's funny.
I have another meeting.
Quinn, you are in good
hands with these two.
The conference room's open.
Speak later?
Yeah, sure.
I'll see you in there.
Something you need?
Have a good meeting.
The early buzz is really
helping with presales.
Numbers are climbing.
Are bulk sales responsible
for these numbers?
I hate to ask, Quinn, but you
understand given your history?
Oh, Liza. You sweet little elephant.
You never forget a thing.
No, didn't you read chapter three?
I learned my lesson from that fiasco.
Also, did my assistant send
over the dietary restrictions
for Elon Musk?
He's vegan, but he will do bone broth.
Copy that.
Everything else for the
party is looking great.
Lauren has lined up a bunch of press,
and people seem to be excited
about the venue change.
Did we change it from The Beekman?
Yeah, Quinn had an in at the TWA.
As in the defunct airline?
Liza, you of all people should know
that failure doesn't mean
you can't fly again.
It's the perfect venue for "The F Word."
Any-who, thank you for the update.
I've gotta run. I'm having
brunch with Kara Swisher,
and if I'm late, she'll
vaporize my career.
I know you're trying,
but maybe don't stir the pot so much.
It's not me. It's Quinn!
- She's a self-stirring pot.
- It's not worth it.
You know, people keep telling me that.
I'm starting to think you all
might be on to something.
I'm just looking out for you.
As someone who's gone head
to head with Quinn, trust me,
there's no winning or losing.
There's just hangovers.
You're right, I just need to focus
on work different work.
Well, we're having dinner
with Redmond tonight,
and I have a really
good feeling about it.
If he doesn't bail on us again.
He won't. Gah, cheer up, Lies.
It's catchy.
Okay, okay.
Too literal.
This, people, is visual arts,
not figure drawing.
Now, what's the first thing we
all looked at on that statue?
- His dick.
- Bingo.
I mean, we can't help it.
It's in our nature,
so tap into that primal instinct.
I mean, lucky for us, sex sells.
- Great class.
- Thanks.
Keep up the good work, people.
Oh, Maggie, you're a natural.
Whoa, thanks, Dean.
I didn't see you there.
Please, Dean is my mother. Call me Cass.
What are you doing tomorrow night,
because my wife would
love to cook for you.
- You remember Kamila?
- Oh, how could I forget?
I'm sorry, but I have plans
with my, um my girlfriend.
I didn't know you were partnered up.
It's very new.
Well, you know, you can bring her along.
Kamila's a wonderful cook,
and she has endless
capacity for small talk.
She can go all night long.
Um dinner it is!
- Oh, wonderful!
- Yeah.
Very excited to hear who
you've got for us, Redmond.
Can't I order first?
Fine, I was gonna save this for dessert,
but get this
BD Mulvaney said Empirical
is her first choice,
and she's basically a lock for
"The Times" Best Seller List,
so you're welcome.
- BD who?
- BD Mulvaney.
She's a mystery writer.
Unpublished, but has a
huge online following
with the AOL crowd.
Her latest is called
"Murder, She Blogged."
What's with the giggling?
Is the air thinner up there?
No offense, Redmond, but generic
label "Murder, She Wrote"
doesn't sound very current.
Yeah, well, that's the point. It's cozy.
There's tea, and knitting,
and gentle crime
among upper middle class
white folks in coastal Maine.
No, it's not current,
but it does somehow defy the times.
Redmond, are you kidding?
There used to be a time when you
were a resource for Millennial.
Uh, hm, I thought Millennial can't
come to the phone right now.
Why? Because she's dead.
We still would like relevant
authors, okay, not dinosaurs.
That is not our brand.
Ahh, this is exactly your brand.
Millennial, Empirical, Mercury,
Sterling Cooper Peters Brooks,
whatever the hell you want to call it.
"Murder, She Blogged" is essentially
the female "Arabian Sea ."
I should congratulate you.
You ladies have emerged
as the mid-lit leaders
of the new decade.
- Mid-lit?
- Middle-aged literature.
Last I heard, your pipeline was stacked
with historical potboilers.
True or False?
Well, yes, but
Well, if you wanna stay
in that age bracket,
the least you could do is get
the she/her point of view.
Come on, this is win-win.
I can see it now:
You publish the book,
CBS turns it into a procedural
starring Betty White,
Metamucil pays the ad sales up front,
and we all reap the benefits.
Lean into your identity, ladies.
We all gotta eat.
This is so depressing.
Like, mid-lit?
When did we go from forward momentum
to just treading water?
If I had to guess,
I'd say it was the day
Empirical took over again as flagship.
Rebrand, remember?
That was not a rebrand.
That was an un-brand.
We can fix this, Kels.
We just have to figure out
How do we beat the establishment
when we've been effectively
swallowed by them?
Isn't it obvious?
You guys need to do a complete
180 in the opposite direction.
I mean, make your movement grassroots.
- To the people!
- Hey.
Huh, the people think
we're some corporate,
airport book factory.
No, they think Empirical is.
You and I are independent, human women
with our own agency in this world.
The advantage our jobs have given us
is the ability to scout talent.
We don't need Redmond for that.
Artists always find each other.
- Hm.
- Look at the Algonquin Round Table.
Those writers went on to be legends,
but it really just started with
friends sitting around a table,
drinking and telling stories.
Pretty much what we're doing right here.
- Yeah.
- Think about it:
We spread the word, we
we invite unpublished
writers to come in, drink,
read a few pages to a
like-minded audience,
and you and I get back to
why we got into publishing
in the first place.
You are brilliant.
But it's got to stay underground.
It's got to be cool,
or there's gonna be a line
of boomers out the door.
And where can we do this?
What, here?
Yeah! I mean, why not?
I think it's pretty dope. Here.
Oh, my God, we could call it INKubator.
- That is
- That's good.
Okay, but how do we
get low-key publicity?
- Like a Facebook group?
- Ahh! No!
- Jesus!
- Oh, my God, Liza. No, no, no, no.
Tell no one, and everyone will be there.
Okay? That's the key.
That's the thing.
You need to invite as
few people as possible
- Right, it's not it's a figure of speech.
- In fact, maybe we should even
Let's make a secret friends
group. Wait, wait
Liza, are you listening?
I'm on fire over here.
Ooh, you guys, fire
- tiki torches?
- No.
Okay, yeah, no, never mind.
I'm spiraling from the whiskey.
It's delete it.
Do you think we can pull this off?
I have no idea.
But what have we got to lose?
It's coming
Hi, everyone! Welcome to INKubator.
We started this little salon
because we are passionate
about storytelling.
And we wanted to give writers
a platform without judgment,
without the pressure that often comes
with pursuing a creative field.
INKubator is a place
to share your pieces,
and to experience the
work of other artists.
The rough drafts we never get to see.
We have an open-mic
policy here at INKubator,
- but first, drinks on us!
- Whoo-hoo!
Wait, wait, okay. So we hate each other,
and we make snide remarks like:
"Wow, you sound just like
your mother right now."
That'll be fun, don't you think?
No, this is not supposed to be fun.
We're only here because
I want to keep my job.
Now, I told Cass this is new,
so we don't hate each other yet, okay?
Ah, okay, okay. Not what I prepared,
but I can take a note.
New couple, lovey-dovey,
googly eyes, horny. Got it!
No! No horny vibes around the wife.
I don't know what's gonna set her off.
- That's not what you told me.
- Shh!
- Hello!
- Hi.
- Welcome.
- Hi.
Okay okay.
"And when their antenna touched mine,
I shuddered as four became two
became one."
Thank you.
Hey. I'm Liza.
Dylan Park. Nice to meet you.
Are you planning on reading tonight?
It's awesome that you've created
a place free of pressure,
but I still feel the pressure.
You were just listening to that, right?
Point being, there are
no expectations here.
It's not that.
I'm pretty proud of my work.
- Stage fright?
- Yep.
Public speaking isn't my forte.
You're a writer, not a performer.
It makes sense.
What's your writing about,
if you don't mind my asking?
Nothing crazy.
It's just a multi-generational story
following the coming-of-age journeys
of a mother during the '70s,
and her daughter in the early oughts,
converging in modern day Queens.
I may have practiced that.
And I may be super intrigued.
Are those your pages?
Well, if you'd be comfortable
sharing with just one person
I'd love to read them.
- To Maggie's first class.
- Yes!
- Mazel tov!
- Salud.
I am so proud of you, possum.
- Lauren, st
- Frisky, I tell you, girls.
She cannot get enough.
I bet.
More wine?
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh, yes, please. Thank you, love.
You guys are fun. So much fun.
You should join us for our girls'
weekend in Provincetown.
We have a nifty share house
in the Gallery District.
P-town? Uh, yes!
Sign our P's up. What are your dates?
Labor Day's a no-go.
- When is Carnival?
- I don't know.
I will grab my calendar.
Yes, I'm old-school,
and yes, it's a Kacey
Musgraves Wall cal.
It was a gift!
Love her.
- P-town, really?
- What?
I mean, you're supposed to
be shielding me from Kamila,
not signing me up for
gay-cations with her!
Wait, "Kamila would
like to share a photo."
What's AirDrop?
- It's her boobs. Hit accept.
- No Lauren! Oh, Jesus.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, my God, she's dropping more.
Wait, she's taking these
from the bathroom.
Oh, my God. Wait, wait
no, no, no, no, no.
- Stop drop stop drop
- Okay, she is clearly jealous of me.
Mission accomplished, right?
- It's good.
- So good.
It's funny, and fresh, and thoughtful.
It's exactly the sort of
thing that mid-lit isn't.
Liza, you're like one
of those Italian hounds
that hunts for truffles
in large fields of shit.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I think we should bring this to Charles.
I mean, Empirical could give
Dylan her very first book deal,
and that could be huge for her career.
Mid-lit be damned. I'm in!
Thank you.
Dylan Park!
Hey, is Josh home?
Uh Nope, he's on his way. Come on in.
Take a load off, make yourself
at home, etc., etc.
Thanks. I'll just wait in his room.
I wanna get out of these
smelly bus clothes.
Why does Josh have all this
baby stuff in his room?
Um you know what, that's
actually none of my business.
Okay? That's between you two,
not me. That's private.
Okay? Okay, cool. Good.
I'm so glad we discussed that.
Okay, I gotta go.
Here, have a Quinn and tonic.
It's weird.
Is that rum?
- Why isn't it gin?
- Yeah.
That's why it's weird.
- Wow, look at this crowd.
- Oh, yeah.
"The Times," "Wall Street Journal," NPR,
some cable news folks, and
they don't show up for books.
It's basically a press conference
- with a cocktail hour.
- Hm.
The power of Quinn Tyler.
Mm, it's growing on me.
Like, it tastes wrong at
first, but I don't know,
it gets the job done.
Kinda like our guest of honor.
Wait, Charles brought his kids?
Yeah, Quinn was adamant that they come.
- I'm gonna be right back.
- Yeah.
Hey, KT. You here?
I'm waiting for you.
She's waiting for us.
There you go.
Okay, I'll be right back.
Hi, Daddy. I'm hung-wy.
Oh, my God.
It's okay, it's okay.
I'm into whatever you're into.
Let me go there with you.
- Hey, there.
- Hi, Liza!
Hi, sweetie.
We missed you so much.
- Oh, I miss you, too.
- Hi, girls.
Charles, Quinn wants to borrow
the girls for her speech.
What? That's insane.
Uh That's fine.
- Come on, yeah?
- No, wait.
Charles, can I talk to you for a second?
- Go on. I'll be right here.
- No, don't.
You're letting her borrow
your daughters?
- It's no big deal.
- It is a big deal, Charles.
I wasn't going to say anything,
but it feels irresponsible
if I don't at this point.
I just got confirmation
that you're being used.
- What are you talking about?
- I heard from my source
that Quinn is announcing her
run for governor tonight.
Right now. And she's using your family
to give her the picture-perfect image
she didn't have last time around.
It's the truth.
Thank you.
Thank you all so much
for being here tonight.
"The F Word" really is a testament
to a woman rising from the ashes.
I've had many failures in my life.
Including in relationships.
But for the first time,
I am with someone
who wholeheartedly supports me,
and whose family has become like my own.
It almost makes me feel like
maybe I should take another stab
at all the other things I failed at.
Bianca and Nicole,
come on out here, girls.
You have been such a
bright spot in my life.
You have inspired me to
pursue a lifelong dream.
Come here.
You're not gonna do anything?
You've got the wrong idea, Liza.
And with that, it is my honor
to announce that I'm
Starting a scholarship program!
You girls are so inspiring. Get in here.
Thank you so much.
I owe you an apology.
- Forget it.
- No. I'm sorry. I didn't realize
I just want what's best for you.
I said, forget it.
You want what's best for me,
stay out of my personal life.
It's best for us.
Leaving so soon?
Congratulations on your big night.
I've got somewhere to be.
Is that all you want to say?
Excuse me?
The next time you investigate me,
you might want to double-check
your sources.
I was doing my due
diligence as an editor
when I fact-checked your book.
It's my job.
Is it also your job to
spread rumors about me
to my own boyfriend?
It wasn't a rumor.
I spoke with your former
campaign manager.
No, she still works for me.
And you better believe when I do
announce my run for governor,
it's not gonna be at a
two-bit book party like this.
You set me up?
You set yourself up.
You act like you're
trying to protect Charles.
All you are doing is hurting him
by holding on.
- I didn't
- No, no.
No need for rebuttal.
Good night.
Glad you stayed over last night.
I'm sorry about all the crying.
She's not usually that fussy.
No worries.
Although, the decibel
levels were pretty close
to a Floaty V concert,
so you might have a
pop star on your hands.
Hey, now.
Hey, maybe you could be her manager.
She does really like you.
About that.
She's great, Josh.
You're great.
But I'm not ready for the
whole insta-family thing.
It's just more than I
can handle right now.
I'm sorry.
I wish I would've said
something sooner, but
I don't know. I was just
was having so much fun with you.
And I always had so much fun with you.
Oh, and
Do you mind if I hang on to this?
It was kind of sexy for a minute.
Plus, I have a 16-hour
flight to Osaka on Friday.
Uh, yeah. Sure.
Thanks, and, um
good luck with everything.
You, too.
Bye, Gemma.
- All right.
- Bye.
If I would've told you sooner,
would it have made a difference?
So, it's a literary party.
It's not a party.
INKubator is a salon-meets-speakeasy.
Or a writers' workshop, but underground.
It's a source for raw, untapped talent.
And Liza found the gem of the bunch.
And the best part is,
the book's already written.
I know everyone is always saying
blank is the new Joan Didion,
but this girl actually might be.
She sounds like a great choice.
For another publisher.
Right now we are focused
on blockbusters.
It's not the time for literary fiction.
You're not even gonna read the book?
The board will be reluctant
to disrupt a proven formula.
Chicago wants best sellers.
James Patterson charts
higher than literary debuts.
It's business.
And I'm sorry.
Sounds like you've already taken
a personal interest in her.
No, you're right.
This isn't the right fit for Empirical.
If Millennial was still the flagship,
we probably wouldn't even
be asking for approval.
Millennial loved nothing more
than young, green authors,
but this is Empirical, isn't it?
It is.
We humbly withdraw our proposal.
Apologies for wasting your time. Kelsey.
Hey, what was that?
You totally flipped the script on me.
- We could have convinced him.
- I know.
I'm sorry, but that wasn't me giving up.
Dylan is our author.
She deserves better.
Our author.
INKubator can't offer
someone a book deal.
I know, but talking about how it's
this incredible wellspring for us,
something that we built
on our own, felt
so familiar.
It felt like Millennial.
I don't have a plan. Yet.
But I'll work on it. We will.
You know, you're kinda my hero.
Next time on "Younger"
I think it's time that I actually buy
my own apartment in New York City.
Check out the broker
you'll be working with.
A woman who knows what she wants.
Sometimes, I think she should just
outsource if I don't satisfy her.
But then I think about
the two of 'em together,
I wanna kill 'em both.
You remember my novel
about the affair that I had
with an older woman after
I graduated from college?
My past is coming back to haunt me.
After all our history together,
you owe us that.
Things don't always turn out as planned.
Is he my son?
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