Lilyhammer (2011) s01e08 Episode Script
Trolls
Pack your lederhosen, boys.
You're going to Norway.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I know you're hiding something, Johnny.
I just know.
They called me Frankie-boy.
We could've had things so pretty and nice together.
I think you're a little drunk now.
(GUNSHOT) I have a strong feeling that you two know what happened to my friend.
Come here, kid.
Come on.
- (IN NORWEGIAN) What was that loud bang? - Must have been a firecracker.
LAILA: My theory is that you're the link to the two Americans.
fast, they got Jonas.
- What? Who? - The two Americans we've been chasing.
Look what I found in the street.
They got him.
(IN NORWEGIAN) But who are these people? What do they want with us? matters is, how do we find them? Now, just think.
(IN NORWEGIAN) You know Olympia? Julius' daughter? I think she's on the grad party bus.
Maybe she knows where they met the Americans.
Good thinkin'.
(CAMERA CLICKS) Hi.
(IN NORWEGIAN) There you are.
Did you find Jonas? hang out with some friends.
Oh, who? The Linnea girl, and some other pals.
You know, went to the school to play some games.
But our distributor called and we got to run.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Now? It's the National Day.
Really, it's terrible.
(IN NORWEGIAN) No.
You can't leave now.
Be back later, okay? (IN NORWEGIAN) It's the National Day.
You can't just leave.
FRANK: Okay.
Johnny had to do some work.
Dear me.
This must be the worst National Day of all time.
How about coming along with me? I'm off to a party at Reidun's, my boss at NAV.
I'm not really sure.
You don't have to worry that it'll be like up at the cabin.
No.
I've gone over to fruit juice now.
I wasn't thinking of that.
I just lost my energy.
Come with me.
Lots of exciting people of all colors and shapes.
Yes, maybe just a short visit.
Yes, come.
It'll be great.
I don't know Reidun.
Yes, you do.
Why did you stop the car? (IN NORWEGIAN) You know I back you up all the way, boss.
Yeah.
It's just that this time I don't feel you're being honest with me.
take care of the big picture.
Huh? (IN NORWEGIAN) You're asking me to go to war, but won't even say who the enemy is.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
You deserve the truth.
You know about my past life in New York City? (IN NORWEGIAN) Yes, when you started up in the restaurant business? Well, that's not the whole story.
I also belonged to an organization that's a little tough to get out of.
Maybe you've heard of it.
The CIA? Oh! Yeah, well, bad guys from the past have caught up to me and they're looking for me.
I knew it! Of course.
Now that we've gotten that off our chest, let's go get the kid.
You got it, Agent Henriksen.
(CLINKING GLASS) (IN NORWEGIAN) Yes As most of you know this has been a tough year for the Backe family.
I looked death right in the eye for a few weeks.
Fortunately I came through, but I want to tell you something.
I really wouldn't like to have missed those weeks.
It's when you realize how short a time we have on this little marble of ours that you learn to cherish what's important, family.
In recognition of this, I have, together with the guys in my barbershop sextet, prepared a little musical tribute to my children.
Not singing, Dad.
Please.
And since your sister is in bed with the flu, you'll have to get up and take it in alone.
(ALL HUMMING) (SEXTET SINGING MOURNFUL SONG) TORGEIR: Yeah! (CLAPPING) That's terrific.
Can these guys sing or can these guys sing? Excuse us, folks, we're just gonna borrow the host for one minute, all right.
Yeah! What the fuck is this? I'm in the middle of a song here.
Sorry, but we've got to talk to your daughter.
Why? She may have some information about some guys we're looking for.
(IN NORWEGIAN) She has the flu up in her room, and I don't think it's right to barge in on the National Day.
Not appropriate? Like telling your family and friends you got cancer when you don't? (IN NORWEGIAN) We're colleagues of your father and have some questions.
Go away! I'm sick! tell your father how you got that flu? Drinking illegal booze, shit like that.
(IN NORWEGIAN) What is it you want? We're looking for those Americans you were partying with yesterday.
Where did you meet them? I can't remember.
Try and focus, all right.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I guess it was over by Hunderfossen campsite.
I know where that is.
You okay, there? Here.
It's clean.
Wipe.
Now, you don't have to worry, we're not going to hurt you.
We just need to get the attention of your mom's boyfriend.
Understand? What did Tagliano say? Fucking crappy phone.
I got no connection there.
Let's use the payphone over by the shower area.
Come on, kid.
Let's go.
Don't you try anything, yeah, you stinky little freak.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Hello! Welcome! And happy National Day.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Congratulations.
Is this where the party is? Nice to see you here.
Have you been here long? Hi! Hello, didn't expect to bump into you here.
No, it's a bit of a new circle of friends, you might say.
What about Jonas and Linnea? Apparently they were on their way to school together.
Oh, really? I only just let Linnea off there, but I didn't see Jonas.
Didn't see Jonas? Jan, I'm going to have to go.
What, already? Yeah, I'm sure it's nothing, but I just have to check everything's okay with Jonas.
How is poor little me going to manage then, all alone at the party? I'd say it looks like you're getting on all right.
Well yes.
It's always stimulating to share experiences with younger colleagues.
I'm gonna have to leave.
Talk to you later, okay? - Bye.
- Bye, now.
Well, have you seen the mail everyone just got? No.
Oh, my God! I've brought some food for us.
- Meatballs.
- No, thank you.
Sure it's this cabin? Come on.
Look how many cigarettes.
Still burning.
Holy shit! (CELL PHONE RINGING) Yeah.
Okay, Frankie-boy, the game is over, and you lose.
Jerry Delucci.
Aldo sent his googootz nephew to take me out? Goddamn insult.
Save it, sunshine.
If you want the kid to see his mother again, you'll do as you're told.
Yeah, okay.
So how do you wanna play this? (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE) You gotta speak up, Frankie.
There's some sort of echo thing going on here.
(SAME MUSIC HEARD THROUGH PHONE) They're right here.
What you say, Frankie? Speak up, boy.
Frank? Johnny! Go, go, go! FRANK: Fuckers! (IN NORWEGIAN) Jan, we need to have a talk.
Now.
- Is anything wrong? - Yes.
I think you could say that.
This went out to everyone in the office at 2:23 today.
Can you tell me what this is? It's It's just some pictures we took for fun at the theater group.
Do you take me for a complete idiot? These young girls were jobseekers here.
I realize this might be a bit embarrassing.
This is beyond embarrassing.
Okay.
What do we do about this, Reidun? I want you to turn up at the office on Monday with your letter of resignation.
Are you going to move me? Either you quit voluntarily or you get fired.
No, that won't work.
This job is everything to me.
People lose their jobs all the time.
Life goes on.
How am I supposed keep up payments on my mortgage? Apply for unemployment benefit.
(STAMMERS) You can't do this to me.
Please.
Give me a second chance.
Don't make this any worse than it has to be.
Fuck me.
This time we meet on our terms.
Whatever you say, Jerry.
Is the kid okay? He's alive and kickin'.
Maybe if you give yourself over to us, he can stay that way.
Listen, you cocksucker.
My partner here has got some special skills and if you hurt some hairs on that boy's head, he will hunt you down, he will find you and, I swear to God, he will kill you.
Cool yourself down there, cowboy.
He's been watching too many movies, all right.
It's under control.
Where you wanna do the switch? You know the truckstop by the Hunderfossen? Yes.
Meet us there in 30 minutes.
Sure you know where it is? (IN NORWEGIAN) Yeah, yeah.
Everyone knows where it is.
It's a well-known gay cruising spot.
I was offered a blowjob there once when my engine broke down.
Even for the CIA.
Linnea? - Hi.
- Hi.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Do you know where Jonas is? No, why? But you told Johnny that you were coming here together.
I haven't seen either Jonas or Johnny today.
Haven't you been together here at school today? You think that's him? Yeah.
It's gotta be.
Who are you? You Frank's partner? Sorry? You're here for the switch, right? Uh, well I don't know what you mean, but a switch sounds okay.
What the fuck? You're pullin' out your dick on me? What the fuck is wrong with you? Put those motherfucking pants back on.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
No fag flashes his salami on Jerry Delucci.
I'm sorry.
Get off.
You're defending this perv, now? I don't know if you had some kind of bad experience at summer camp, but your fagophobia is interfering with work.
Let the fucking guy go so we can do what we came here for.
Yeah, okay.
All right? Jesus.
What's wrong with you? Just fuckin' trolls, they freak me out.
The fuckin' thing is made out of plastic.
Still.
- Look that way.
- Right.
FRANK: What the hell is this? Hello? Kiddo.
Uncle Jerry's here.
(ALARM RINGING) Fuck.
Shit.
For God's sake, what are you shooting at? (IN NORWEGIAN) Does it look like they've gone down here or continued up? I'll check the north side, you go south.
Fucking trolls.
He's in here.
JERRY: Kiddo, where are you? ROBERT: It's okay, kid.
We know you're in here.
No one's gonna hurt you.
(WHISPERS) Jonas.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Stop shooting at the kid, you fucking psycho.
I wasn't.
You fucking blind? Take Jonas home.
I gotta stay and take care of some things.
Be careful.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Sorry to have to drag you out here on the National Day.
No problem.
Breathe calmly, and tell me what happened.
(SOBBING) We were having a National Day lunch.
I'm sorry.
Suddenly Jonas disappeared, and we looked for him, but we couldn't find him.
I've tried to call him loads of times, I've tried to call Johnny, and his dad in Oslo and I can't reach anyone.
Good thing you got a hold of me, then.
My colleague Hans has the evening shift at the station.
We're gonna go and together we'll find your boy.
Jonas.
Maybe it's best I do the talking, we don't want a big fuss here.
Jonas, where have you been? False alarm.
It was just some morons who took Jonas, so Johnny and I had to find him.
What? Who took you? It was some foreigners.
If there's been an attempted kidnapping it has to be reported to the police.
No, no.
It wasn't Well, kidnapping This here was more a prank sort of thing.
Pranks? Well, where's Johnny now, then? Um He had to take care of some business, but he said to say hello.
Okay, so he said to say hello? Come on, Jonas.
Hello, Hans, this is Laila.
Have there been any reports of disturbances today? At Hunderfossen? I think I'll take a little trip up there with you myself.
Congratulations.
Because of your fuck-up we probably lost Tagliano for good this time.
- My fuck-up? - I fucking had him.
You are some piece of work.
Beating up gays.
Shooting kids and trolls, fake fuckin' trolls! You're some kind of fruitcake.
Wait a second, you calling me a fag? It's just an expression, Jerry.
You lose your focus.
- No, I know the meaning of fruitcake.
- Don't be stupid.
Nobody calls Jerry Delucci a fucking fag.
Who's the fruitcake, now? Huh? Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that? I'm fucking Jerry Delucci.
I've fucking had it with you.
Nobody Jerry! Put down the gun.
Whoa.
Take it easy, now.
Walk to the right.
I see a nice little burial ground for you.
You always had a temper, Jerry.
Gotta wonder where that's coming from.
I got a theory about all this.
Has to do with your uncle Aldo tucking you in every night.
Didn't that strike you as a little bit weird? What are you talking about? Get the fuck on your knees! I'll finish you off right here.
Get down! Fucking son of a bitch.
There was always rumors, Jerry.
You heard them.
Unnecessary hanging around public bathrooms.
You're full of shit! Who told you that? Who told you that fucking crap? Huh? Who fucking told you that? (GROANS) (GRUNTS) (LAUGHING) Well, sayonara, Frankie-boy.
This is what I think of your stupid fucking theories.
(GUNSHOT) I never liked the fucking guy.
So now what? Now, we're both fucked.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) Yeah.
I always liked you, Robbie.
You're old-school, you know? Got a lot of respect for you too, Frank.
But you know what it is.
They tell you to go do a job, you go do the fucking job.
I know what it is.
Nobody comes home, Aldo sends the goombah third battalion.
You go home without the favorite nephew, without the job done, then you've got a problem.
- Am I right? - You're right.
Well, here's what I'm thinking.
See this ring? My father gave me this ring, means the world to me.
And Aldo knows it.
So, you sell him on this scenario.
Me and the nephew took each other out, you took the ring off my finger as proof, and, you know He died defending the family honor and all that bullshit.
The credits roll.
What do ya think? Worth a shot? I think that's worth a shot.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Hey.
You locking up already? I thought we were inspecting the crime scene.
I've been all over the park.
There were just some dummies that had been knocked over and a go-kart stolen.
Typical college kid pranks.
Actually, we've reason to believe that something far more serious has been going on.
Is it terrorists lurking about again, like at the ski race? Very funny.
I've already spoke with your boss.
He agreed that there was no need to give this priority.
Yes, I expect he did But you're sure there's no one in there then? One hundred percent.
Though, I think maybe I saw Osama bin Laden hiding in the Viking ship.
You're cracking me up.
Good night.
Come on, Hans, we're going.
You know what, Hans? Tonight we'll let the dunderheads sail on their own lake.
Sounds like a good plan.
I just took some roll cake out of the oven.
Would you like to come and have a piece? Do I look like the kind of person who says no to roll cake? (LAUGHS) Wait a minute.
Stop.
And what is going on here? ending up in a ditch in the Norwegian woods.
All because of the Olympics.
How so? If I wasn't watching in '94, I wouldn't have picked this place to come.
You wouldn't be here trying to whack me, and that fuck wouldn't be lying face down.
- God works in mysterious ways.
- Yeah.
Don't look now, but Little Green Riding Hood is right behind you.
Fuck.
(IN NORWEGIAN) And what is going on here? Just two foreigners enjoying what Norway has to offer.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Is that so? And where is your charming friend? (IN NORWEGIAN) I don't like the sound of this.
Come in, Hans.
Hans! Listen, that guy, Jerry.
He had everything to do with the death of your friend.
I knew it.
I knew it.
So now you're at a crossroads.
You can spend thousands of taxpayer kroner servicing justice for the creep that killed your friend, or you can enjoy May 17th hot dogs and cakes, and be thankful somebody took care of what you should have took care of when you had the chance.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I think I need one of those.
Didn't know you smoked, Officer.
Not since 10 years.
HANS: (IN NORWEGIAN) Laila? Did you call me? Over.
Yes, hello, Hans.
It's Anything wrong? Should I call the central? Laila? I just wanted to say That it's time to go back and have some roll cake.
I knew she'd go for the cakes.
All right, well Enjoy life as a dead man.
Tell me about it.
Jonas okay? Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Well, that's good.
Then we can move on.
"Move on"? (IN NORWEGIAN) Are you for real? You know, I'm so tired of this.
You lying to me, keeping secrets from me.
I don't know who you really are.
Look, I'm not the bad guy here.
I'm the guy trying to fix this thing.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Is everything all right here? Who's the douche bag? (IN NORWEGIAN) I'm Ivar, Sigrid's husband.
- No, you're not.
- Ex-husband, that is.
What the fuck's he doing here? (IN NORWEGIAN) I came when I heard Jonas was in trouble.
I happen to have a sense of responsibility towards my son.
Well, excuse me.
If you don't mind, I'm tryin' to have a private conversation with my girl here.
Okay? (IN NORWEGIAN) I don't like your tone, so I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave.
Oh, come on.
the fuck out of this, all right? (IN NORWEGIAN) I'm warning you.
I'm a regional jujitsu champion.
Oh, Lord.
Will you just please stop? We'll continue this conversation when Bruce Lee goes back to China.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Go in.
I don't know what to say.
It's over just like that? MAN: (IN NORWEGIAN) Why, hello? Is it you I'm going to see now? No, it won't be me today.
WOMAN: That's number 226.
MAN: Oh, why've you got a number? WOMAN: Number 226.
Johnny, do you have five minutes, please? No.
I got four.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Yeah, we We've known each other for some time now, Johnny.
Jan.
While we're young.
What the fuck do you want? (IN NORWEGIAN) The thing is, I've become a jobseeker.
I thought maybe Are you askin' for a job? (LAUGHS) (IN NORWEGIAN) Yeah, things have unfortunately become disagreeable with my former employer.
Well I don't think there's a whole lot of positions open at the moment.
But let me look here.
Oh, dishwasher position.
Interested? You know, actually, I was thinking a bit more about some kind of management.
You can't start at the top! You need a reality check, my friend.
Please.
I have nowhere else to go.
This is Norway, right? The land of second chances.
(IN NORWEGIAN) New chance.
consider yourself employed.
Yes? Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Have you thought about the job description? - Maybe - I know Torgeir needs help with the staff.
Like with Svetlana and Jelena? Believe me, they are a handful, my friend.
That's magnificent.
(PLAYING PIANO) You really won't regret this, I promise you.
I have a lot of good ideas already.
- Oh, yeah? - Sure.
For example, the go-go dance on Thursdays.
(IN NORWEGIAN) The girls, they are from Ukraine, right? (IN NORWEGIAN) I have a friend on the county council who works on cultural events I could get us economic support, you know? - They'll give us money? - Sure, sure.
(IN NORWEGIAN) With the right application we can get half a million.
He owes me big time.
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I hope so.
Hello, hi.
You didn't send the flowers? I'm so sorry, boss, but they came back.
FRANK: Play that song I like.
(SINGS A SAD SONG)
You're going to Norway.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I know you're hiding something, Johnny.
I just know.
They called me Frankie-boy.
We could've had things so pretty and nice together.
I think you're a little drunk now.
(GUNSHOT) I have a strong feeling that you two know what happened to my friend.
Come here, kid.
Come on.
- (IN NORWEGIAN) What was that loud bang? - Must have been a firecracker.
LAILA: My theory is that you're the link to the two Americans.
fast, they got Jonas.
- What? Who? - The two Americans we've been chasing.
Look what I found in the street.
They got him.
(IN NORWEGIAN) But who are these people? What do they want with us? matters is, how do we find them? Now, just think.
(IN NORWEGIAN) You know Olympia? Julius' daughter? I think she's on the grad party bus.
Maybe she knows where they met the Americans.
Good thinkin'.
(CAMERA CLICKS) Hi.
(IN NORWEGIAN) There you are.
Did you find Jonas? hang out with some friends.
Oh, who? The Linnea girl, and some other pals.
You know, went to the school to play some games.
But our distributor called and we got to run.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Now? It's the National Day.
Really, it's terrible.
(IN NORWEGIAN) No.
You can't leave now.
Be back later, okay? (IN NORWEGIAN) It's the National Day.
You can't just leave.
FRANK: Okay.
Johnny had to do some work.
Dear me.
This must be the worst National Day of all time.
How about coming along with me? I'm off to a party at Reidun's, my boss at NAV.
I'm not really sure.
You don't have to worry that it'll be like up at the cabin.
No.
I've gone over to fruit juice now.
I wasn't thinking of that.
I just lost my energy.
Come with me.
Lots of exciting people of all colors and shapes.
Yes, maybe just a short visit.
Yes, come.
It'll be great.
I don't know Reidun.
Yes, you do.
Why did you stop the car? (IN NORWEGIAN) You know I back you up all the way, boss.
Yeah.
It's just that this time I don't feel you're being honest with me.
take care of the big picture.
Huh? (IN NORWEGIAN) You're asking me to go to war, but won't even say who the enemy is.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
You deserve the truth.
You know about my past life in New York City? (IN NORWEGIAN) Yes, when you started up in the restaurant business? Well, that's not the whole story.
I also belonged to an organization that's a little tough to get out of.
Maybe you've heard of it.
The CIA? Oh! Yeah, well, bad guys from the past have caught up to me and they're looking for me.
I knew it! Of course.
Now that we've gotten that off our chest, let's go get the kid.
You got it, Agent Henriksen.
(CLINKING GLASS) (IN NORWEGIAN) Yes As most of you know this has been a tough year for the Backe family.
I looked death right in the eye for a few weeks.
Fortunately I came through, but I want to tell you something.
I really wouldn't like to have missed those weeks.
It's when you realize how short a time we have on this little marble of ours that you learn to cherish what's important, family.
In recognition of this, I have, together with the guys in my barbershop sextet, prepared a little musical tribute to my children.
Not singing, Dad.
Please.
And since your sister is in bed with the flu, you'll have to get up and take it in alone.
(ALL HUMMING) (SEXTET SINGING MOURNFUL SONG) TORGEIR: Yeah! (CLAPPING) That's terrific.
Can these guys sing or can these guys sing? Excuse us, folks, we're just gonna borrow the host for one minute, all right.
Yeah! What the fuck is this? I'm in the middle of a song here.
Sorry, but we've got to talk to your daughter.
Why? She may have some information about some guys we're looking for.
(IN NORWEGIAN) She has the flu up in her room, and I don't think it's right to barge in on the National Day.
Not appropriate? Like telling your family and friends you got cancer when you don't? (IN NORWEGIAN) We're colleagues of your father and have some questions.
Go away! I'm sick! tell your father how you got that flu? Drinking illegal booze, shit like that.
(IN NORWEGIAN) What is it you want? We're looking for those Americans you were partying with yesterday.
Where did you meet them? I can't remember.
Try and focus, all right.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I guess it was over by Hunderfossen campsite.
I know where that is.
You okay, there? Here.
It's clean.
Wipe.
Now, you don't have to worry, we're not going to hurt you.
We just need to get the attention of your mom's boyfriend.
Understand? What did Tagliano say? Fucking crappy phone.
I got no connection there.
Let's use the payphone over by the shower area.
Come on, kid.
Let's go.
Don't you try anything, yeah, you stinky little freak.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Hello! Welcome! And happy National Day.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Congratulations.
Is this where the party is? Nice to see you here.
Have you been here long? Hi! Hello, didn't expect to bump into you here.
No, it's a bit of a new circle of friends, you might say.
What about Jonas and Linnea? Apparently they were on their way to school together.
Oh, really? I only just let Linnea off there, but I didn't see Jonas.
Didn't see Jonas? Jan, I'm going to have to go.
What, already? Yeah, I'm sure it's nothing, but I just have to check everything's okay with Jonas.
How is poor little me going to manage then, all alone at the party? I'd say it looks like you're getting on all right.
Well yes.
It's always stimulating to share experiences with younger colleagues.
I'm gonna have to leave.
Talk to you later, okay? - Bye.
- Bye, now.
Well, have you seen the mail everyone just got? No.
Oh, my God! I've brought some food for us.
- Meatballs.
- No, thank you.
Sure it's this cabin? Come on.
Look how many cigarettes.
Still burning.
Holy shit! (CELL PHONE RINGING) Yeah.
Okay, Frankie-boy, the game is over, and you lose.
Jerry Delucci.
Aldo sent his googootz nephew to take me out? Goddamn insult.
Save it, sunshine.
If you want the kid to see his mother again, you'll do as you're told.
Yeah, okay.
So how do you wanna play this? (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE) You gotta speak up, Frankie.
There's some sort of echo thing going on here.
(SAME MUSIC HEARD THROUGH PHONE) They're right here.
What you say, Frankie? Speak up, boy.
Frank? Johnny! Go, go, go! FRANK: Fuckers! (IN NORWEGIAN) Jan, we need to have a talk.
Now.
- Is anything wrong? - Yes.
I think you could say that.
This went out to everyone in the office at 2:23 today.
Can you tell me what this is? It's It's just some pictures we took for fun at the theater group.
Do you take me for a complete idiot? These young girls were jobseekers here.
I realize this might be a bit embarrassing.
This is beyond embarrassing.
Okay.
What do we do about this, Reidun? I want you to turn up at the office on Monday with your letter of resignation.
Are you going to move me? Either you quit voluntarily or you get fired.
No, that won't work.
This job is everything to me.
People lose their jobs all the time.
Life goes on.
How am I supposed keep up payments on my mortgage? Apply for unemployment benefit.
(STAMMERS) You can't do this to me.
Please.
Give me a second chance.
Don't make this any worse than it has to be.
Fuck me.
This time we meet on our terms.
Whatever you say, Jerry.
Is the kid okay? He's alive and kickin'.
Maybe if you give yourself over to us, he can stay that way.
Listen, you cocksucker.
My partner here has got some special skills and if you hurt some hairs on that boy's head, he will hunt you down, he will find you and, I swear to God, he will kill you.
Cool yourself down there, cowboy.
He's been watching too many movies, all right.
It's under control.
Where you wanna do the switch? You know the truckstop by the Hunderfossen? Yes.
Meet us there in 30 minutes.
Sure you know where it is? (IN NORWEGIAN) Yeah, yeah.
Everyone knows where it is.
It's a well-known gay cruising spot.
I was offered a blowjob there once when my engine broke down.
Even for the CIA.
Linnea? - Hi.
- Hi.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Do you know where Jonas is? No, why? But you told Johnny that you were coming here together.
I haven't seen either Jonas or Johnny today.
Haven't you been together here at school today? You think that's him? Yeah.
It's gotta be.
Who are you? You Frank's partner? Sorry? You're here for the switch, right? Uh, well I don't know what you mean, but a switch sounds okay.
What the fuck? You're pullin' out your dick on me? What the fuck is wrong with you? Put those motherfucking pants back on.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
No fag flashes his salami on Jerry Delucci.
I'm sorry.
Get off.
You're defending this perv, now? I don't know if you had some kind of bad experience at summer camp, but your fagophobia is interfering with work.
Let the fucking guy go so we can do what we came here for.
Yeah, okay.
All right? Jesus.
What's wrong with you? Just fuckin' trolls, they freak me out.
The fuckin' thing is made out of plastic.
Still.
- Look that way.
- Right.
FRANK: What the hell is this? Hello? Kiddo.
Uncle Jerry's here.
(ALARM RINGING) Fuck.
Shit.
For God's sake, what are you shooting at? (IN NORWEGIAN) Does it look like they've gone down here or continued up? I'll check the north side, you go south.
Fucking trolls.
He's in here.
JERRY: Kiddo, where are you? ROBERT: It's okay, kid.
We know you're in here.
No one's gonna hurt you.
(WHISPERS) Jonas.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Stop shooting at the kid, you fucking psycho.
I wasn't.
You fucking blind? Take Jonas home.
I gotta stay and take care of some things.
Be careful.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Sorry to have to drag you out here on the National Day.
No problem.
Breathe calmly, and tell me what happened.
(SOBBING) We were having a National Day lunch.
I'm sorry.
Suddenly Jonas disappeared, and we looked for him, but we couldn't find him.
I've tried to call him loads of times, I've tried to call Johnny, and his dad in Oslo and I can't reach anyone.
Good thing you got a hold of me, then.
My colleague Hans has the evening shift at the station.
We're gonna go and together we'll find your boy.
Jonas.
Maybe it's best I do the talking, we don't want a big fuss here.
Jonas, where have you been? False alarm.
It was just some morons who took Jonas, so Johnny and I had to find him.
What? Who took you? It was some foreigners.
If there's been an attempted kidnapping it has to be reported to the police.
No, no.
It wasn't Well, kidnapping This here was more a prank sort of thing.
Pranks? Well, where's Johnny now, then? Um He had to take care of some business, but he said to say hello.
Okay, so he said to say hello? Come on, Jonas.
Hello, Hans, this is Laila.
Have there been any reports of disturbances today? At Hunderfossen? I think I'll take a little trip up there with you myself.
Congratulations.
Because of your fuck-up we probably lost Tagliano for good this time.
- My fuck-up? - I fucking had him.
You are some piece of work.
Beating up gays.
Shooting kids and trolls, fake fuckin' trolls! You're some kind of fruitcake.
Wait a second, you calling me a fag? It's just an expression, Jerry.
You lose your focus.
- No, I know the meaning of fruitcake.
- Don't be stupid.
Nobody calls Jerry Delucci a fucking fag.
Who's the fruitcake, now? Huh? Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that? I'm fucking Jerry Delucci.
I've fucking had it with you.
Nobody Jerry! Put down the gun.
Whoa.
Take it easy, now.
Walk to the right.
I see a nice little burial ground for you.
You always had a temper, Jerry.
Gotta wonder where that's coming from.
I got a theory about all this.
Has to do with your uncle Aldo tucking you in every night.
Didn't that strike you as a little bit weird? What are you talking about? Get the fuck on your knees! I'll finish you off right here.
Get down! Fucking son of a bitch.
There was always rumors, Jerry.
You heard them.
Unnecessary hanging around public bathrooms.
You're full of shit! Who told you that? Who told you that fucking crap? Huh? Who fucking told you that? (GROANS) (GRUNTS) (LAUGHING) Well, sayonara, Frankie-boy.
This is what I think of your stupid fucking theories.
(GUNSHOT) I never liked the fucking guy.
So now what? Now, we're both fucked.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) Yeah.
I always liked you, Robbie.
You're old-school, you know? Got a lot of respect for you too, Frank.
But you know what it is.
They tell you to go do a job, you go do the fucking job.
I know what it is.
Nobody comes home, Aldo sends the goombah third battalion.
You go home without the favorite nephew, without the job done, then you've got a problem.
- Am I right? - You're right.
Well, here's what I'm thinking.
See this ring? My father gave me this ring, means the world to me.
And Aldo knows it.
So, you sell him on this scenario.
Me and the nephew took each other out, you took the ring off my finger as proof, and, you know He died defending the family honor and all that bullshit.
The credits roll.
What do ya think? Worth a shot? I think that's worth a shot.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Hey.
You locking up already? I thought we were inspecting the crime scene.
I've been all over the park.
There were just some dummies that had been knocked over and a go-kart stolen.
Typical college kid pranks.
Actually, we've reason to believe that something far more serious has been going on.
Is it terrorists lurking about again, like at the ski race? Very funny.
I've already spoke with your boss.
He agreed that there was no need to give this priority.
Yes, I expect he did But you're sure there's no one in there then? One hundred percent.
Though, I think maybe I saw Osama bin Laden hiding in the Viking ship.
You're cracking me up.
Good night.
Come on, Hans, we're going.
You know what, Hans? Tonight we'll let the dunderheads sail on their own lake.
Sounds like a good plan.
I just took some roll cake out of the oven.
Would you like to come and have a piece? Do I look like the kind of person who says no to roll cake? (LAUGHS) Wait a minute.
Stop.
And what is going on here? ending up in a ditch in the Norwegian woods.
All because of the Olympics.
How so? If I wasn't watching in '94, I wouldn't have picked this place to come.
You wouldn't be here trying to whack me, and that fuck wouldn't be lying face down.
- God works in mysterious ways.
- Yeah.
Don't look now, but Little Green Riding Hood is right behind you.
Fuck.
(IN NORWEGIAN) And what is going on here? Just two foreigners enjoying what Norway has to offer.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Is that so? And where is your charming friend? (IN NORWEGIAN) I don't like the sound of this.
Come in, Hans.
Hans! Listen, that guy, Jerry.
He had everything to do with the death of your friend.
I knew it.
I knew it.
So now you're at a crossroads.
You can spend thousands of taxpayer kroner servicing justice for the creep that killed your friend, or you can enjoy May 17th hot dogs and cakes, and be thankful somebody took care of what you should have took care of when you had the chance.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I think I need one of those.
Didn't know you smoked, Officer.
Not since 10 years.
HANS: (IN NORWEGIAN) Laila? Did you call me? Over.
Yes, hello, Hans.
It's Anything wrong? Should I call the central? Laila? I just wanted to say That it's time to go back and have some roll cake.
I knew she'd go for the cakes.
All right, well Enjoy life as a dead man.
Tell me about it.
Jonas okay? Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Well, that's good.
Then we can move on.
"Move on"? (IN NORWEGIAN) Are you for real? You know, I'm so tired of this.
You lying to me, keeping secrets from me.
I don't know who you really are.
Look, I'm not the bad guy here.
I'm the guy trying to fix this thing.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Is everything all right here? Who's the douche bag? (IN NORWEGIAN) I'm Ivar, Sigrid's husband.
- No, you're not.
- Ex-husband, that is.
What the fuck's he doing here? (IN NORWEGIAN) I came when I heard Jonas was in trouble.
I happen to have a sense of responsibility towards my son.
Well, excuse me.
If you don't mind, I'm tryin' to have a private conversation with my girl here.
Okay? (IN NORWEGIAN) I don't like your tone, so I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave.
Oh, come on.
the fuck out of this, all right? (IN NORWEGIAN) I'm warning you.
I'm a regional jujitsu champion.
Oh, Lord.
Will you just please stop? We'll continue this conversation when Bruce Lee goes back to China.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Go in.
I don't know what to say.
It's over just like that? MAN: (IN NORWEGIAN) Why, hello? Is it you I'm going to see now? No, it won't be me today.
WOMAN: That's number 226.
MAN: Oh, why've you got a number? WOMAN: Number 226.
Johnny, do you have five minutes, please? No.
I got four.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Yeah, we We've known each other for some time now, Johnny.
Jan.
While we're young.
What the fuck do you want? (IN NORWEGIAN) The thing is, I've become a jobseeker.
I thought maybe Are you askin' for a job? (LAUGHS) (IN NORWEGIAN) Yeah, things have unfortunately become disagreeable with my former employer.
Well I don't think there's a whole lot of positions open at the moment.
But let me look here.
Oh, dishwasher position.
Interested? You know, actually, I was thinking a bit more about some kind of management.
You can't start at the top! You need a reality check, my friend.
Please.
I have nowhere else to go.
This is Norway, right? The land of second chances.
(IN NORWEGIAN) New chance.
consider yourself employed.
Yes? Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Have you thought about the job description? - Maybe - I know Torgeir needs help with the staff.
Like with Svetlana and Jelena? Believe me, they are a handful, my friend.
That's magnificent.
(PLAYING PIANO) You really won't regret this, I promise you.
I have a lot of good ideas already.
- Oh, yeah? - Sure.
For example, the go-go dance on Thursdays.
(IN NORWEGIAN) The girls, they are from Ukraine, right? (IN NORWEGIAN) I have a friend on the county council who works on cultural events I could get us economic support, you know? - They'll give us money? - Sure, sure.
(IN NORWEGIAN) With the right application we can get half a million.
He owes me big time.
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I hope so.
Hello, hi.
You didn't send the flowers? I'm so sorry, boss, but they came back.
FRANK: Play that song I like.
(SINGS A SAD SONG)