90210 Episode Scripts

N/A - Holiday Madness

Previously on 90210: Javier had this notebook of songs.
After he died, I took it.
I'm famous.
You won't be, if I tell them the truth.
You could expose me or you can continue being my manager, on my terms.
It's not the way Adrianna's been acting that's bothering me.
It's also the way that I've been feeling about you.
Ivy doesn't know that you and I slept together.
- Babe, I know you're upset.
- Yes.
I'm upset! Upset because my mother is a whore.
Well, I don't feel that way about you either.
I'm still in love with Dax.
Dax is here.
I can't handle this.
No, he's gonna think you have a new boyfriend.
Stay away from my girl.
I know she's much better off without you.
Wait until you see this house.
It is so Sunset Blvd.
I thought we were off of Mulholland.
Yeah, get this.
Allegedly, supposedly.
You didn't hear it from me.
But Gloria Swanson actually used to live here.
Oh, Sunset Blvd.
the movie.
Sunset Blvd.
Right, Gloria Swanson.
I mean, come on.
She was huge.
"It was the pictures that got small.
" Exactly.
Now, it's not cheap, but the legend, the history.
It's beyond fabulous.
And when I saw this place, I said to myself, I said, "This place is so Adrianna.
" It is so me.
I love it.
I want it.
Uh, what do you say we, uh? We look inside before we start making offers? There's no "we," Victor.
There is me and there is you, who works for me.
"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr.
" Incredible, right? The parties that have been thrown in this house, legendary.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
Well, apparently, supposedly.
You didn't hear this from me.
But Rudolph Valentino once swung across this room on a chandelier.
- In the nude.
- Ha, ha.
Come on.
I wanna throw a party here.
A huge party.
- Wow.
- This is a house for a star, Adrianna.
Honestly, and I say this as your friend, not as your real-estate agent, this house is your destiny.
How much is it? Twenty grand a month and you have to commit for six months.
When destiny calls - Adrianna? - What? - I'll give you two a moment.
- No, l - It's okay.
- Fine.
What? Look, I wouldn't be doing my job as your manager if I didn't at least suggest that you look for a house that's more affordable.
- Ugh, you're such a wet blanket.
- I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but six months' commitment, that's no joke.
A lot of things can change in the music business in six months.
- I see.
So you don't believe in me? - It's not that, I swear.
Ha, ha, you know what? It doesn't matter if you do or you don't because I believe in me and my career is gonna be just fine.
It's not that I doubt you, but being cautious financially Fine.
You want me to save my money? I'm cutting your commission in half.
Happy now? I'll take it.
Ha, ha.
We love it here, don't we, Beyoncé? Good girl.
- Oh! - Wipe out.
- About what happened at the luau - Yep.
And, uh, me confessing my feelings for you Awkward or not awkward? I'm taking a poll, ha, ha.
Uh, I'm gonna go with awkward.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Ha, ha.
I'm just really confused, Silver.
I mean, officially, I'm with Adrianna, but maybe I shouldn't be.
I just I don't feel the same way I felt.
And there's you.
Truth is, uh, what I said at the beach I think we've been spending too much time together.
- What? - You have a girlfriend.
Your girlfriend's my good friend.
Let's just give each other some space, okay? I can't believe those eyelashes are real.
You know, I can't believe that fake eyelashes exist.
Dude, don't you think the idea that women use, like, glue to attach false pieces of hair made from plastic to their lids at all strange? - Um, no.
- Well, we will agree to disagree, then.
Speaking of body hair, I'm going to this amazing new wax place tonight if you wanna come with.
They serve blueberry margaritas and they so don't card.
Yeah, no, thank you.
Not that the idea of blueberry-flavoured cocktails and hair removal doesn't sound like a killer combination, but I have plans.
- Hmm.
- I'm seeing my dad tonight.
Gonna see your dad? I didn't know he was in the picture.
Yeah, well, we haven't spoken in, like, years, but, uh, things are pretty bad with my mom back at home, - so I just figured - You'd call your dad.
And I didn't know how it was gonna go, right? Because I thought he'd moved on and he has this new family.
Maybe he didn't care about me anymore.
But he was totally into it.
It was really cool.
And he, like, wanted to do something right away, so Anyways, we'll see.
Oh, it's gonna go great.
And if it doesn't and you need to bail, just join me for a blueberry Brazilian.
Uh, yeah, no.
That sounds horrible.
- It's amazing.
- Dude, that sounds horrible.
- Okay, we'll agree to disagree.
- Fine.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What are you up to? - Escaping the Pleistocene era.
You don't look a day over Holocene.
Um, so that was fun.
The luau.
- Yeah.
It was.
- Mm-hm.
What's wrong? I'm just I'm not I'm not ready for everyone to know I'm Gay? Look, I like you and I wanna keep seeing you, but I need it to be a A secret.
Yeah, I guess.
Look, I came out of the closet in ninth grade and I'm not willing to go back there again.
I'm sorry, Teddy.
- That's ridiculous.
- Exactly.
- He said that I said that? - Exactly.
That's absurd.
I mean, who doesn't get yeast infections these days? Oh, anywhere.
The gas station, the grocery store.
Oh, my God.
- I know.
I know.
- As if I did ever, ever - Exactly.
- Well, he's not un-cute.
- Ha, ha, people are rude.
- No kidding.
- It's Charlie.
- Ha, ha.
Go ahead.
Oh, I miss you too.
That's really it.
I just called to say I miss you.
Oh, well, I miss you.
- You wanna do something soon? - Definitely.
Tonight I'm sleeping over at Adrianna's new house.
But tomorrow night, you better come to that party with me.
Adrianna's getting an ice-skating rink.
Apparently, she's going all-out so I can only imagine what that will mean.
- Dixon, I'm on the phone.
- Liam is in the hospital.
What do you mean? Is he okay? What happened? Is everything all right? Liam's in the hospital.
- What happened? - I don't know.
Apparently, he got beat up real bad after the luau.
- They took him to the hospital.
- We gotta go.
I gotta go.
Wait, no, is Liam all right? I don't know.
I'll call you as soon as I know anything.
Come on.
Hey, Naomi.
So I enjoyed eating guacamole with you the other night.
- That sounds dirty.
- Ha, ha.
I didn't mean it dirty.
I meant it for real.
It was kind of fun being miserable with you too.
Oh, it looks like you've healed.
Time heals all wounds.
Time and a boatload of Crème de la Mer.
- Well, you look great.
- Thank you.
Hey, um, so would you like to go out with me sometime? I don't know.
Well, it's not a no.
But it's not a yes.
Not yet.
Look, I know you hate Oscar, okay? But he's really not such a bad guy.
Naomi, he is, okay? He's a really, really bad guy.
- But he's - But he's what? He's "hot?" - Well, yeah, but - Look, I'm sorry.
You haven't forgotten what he did to me? No.
Of course not.
Just because someone does a bad thing doesn't mean they're bad.
Maybe he's learned his lesson, you know? Okay.
You know what? Naomi, just do your thing.
Okay? Seriously, it's cool.
It's totally cool.
You just You live your life.
I'm gonna live mine.
It's all good.
No harm, no foul, okay? - But - What? So they don't remake The Odd Couple starring you and me.
It's okay.
I think I'll live.
Liam, you need to take it easy.
I'm fine.
You don't have to worry about me.
Liam, you're not fine.
Okay? You're staying in my room, I'm sleeping on the couch.
You don't have to give up your room, I'm not Liam.
Look, you got your ass kicked.
Okay? If you don't shut up and let us take care of you, - you're gonna get it kicked again.
- Yeah.
By me.
What do you want us to do? Let you go back to sleeping in your car? I All right.
That's right.
You don't wanna deal with these fists of fury.
- Ooh.
- You're staying.
Come on.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yeah.
Hello, they've got prime rib.
Oh, do they? Do you eat red meat? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Of course I eat red meat.
Um But we don't have a lot at home because Mom's a vegetarian mostly, but I love red meat.
I don't think I've ever had prime rib, though.
Why do they even call prime rib "prime rib" anyway? Is it like there are some ribs that are prime and others that are less than prime, because who's gonna order less than prime rib? That would Okay, I'm officially shutting up now.
No, I'm glad to hear you talk.
I'm sorry.
I'm obviously a little nervous to see you.
And excited.
I feel like nervous and excited equals me rambling on like an auctioneer.
And I'm sorry.
I'm really glad you called me.
I've actually been trying to get in touch with you.
It's just Your mother told me to keep my distance.
She did? She actually told you to stay away from me? - Mm-hm.
- God, she is unbelievable.
- Classic Laurel.
- Yeah.
Your mother doesn't always think about how her decisions will affect other people.
No kidding.
We're not really speaking at the moment.
Welcome to the club.
But, look, the important thing is we're getting a chance to start over.
- You and me.
- Yeah.
I'm really, really, really glad for that.
- Do you sing? - No.
I mean, you know, not, like, outside of the shower or anything.
Well, you should start practising.
Because we do a lot of carolling at our house around the holidays.
Spend Christmas with me.
Really? Because Mom never does the Christmas thing and we do some, you know, like, winter solstice thing, but I've kind of missed, like, a real Christmas.
Then it's a deal.
It's a good time.
We have a big Christmas tree and a turkey dinner - And carolling.
- And carolling.
It's fun, actually.
Well, I don't sing, but I am learning how to play the guitar.
Well, bring your guitar.
What can I get you for dinner tonight? You know, I'm actually gonna try the prime rib.
Hello? Ade? - Hi.
- Whoa.
So, what do you think of my humble abode? Uh, I think it's insane.
What did you? This is totally and wonderfully and clinically insane.
- You have a balcony in your foyer.
- Right? Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Oh, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your gorgeous hair extensions.
Ha, ha.
- Navid.
- Hey.
Are you sleeping over? Yeah.
I decided to make it a guy-girl thing, but no one else could make it.
I guess Annie and Dixon are with Liam, and apparently, Naomi is drunk after some kind of waxing session.
God knows what that means.
And Ivy's with her dad.
So it's just the three of us.
Oh, okay.
And Beyoncé.
Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha.
- This is gonna be so fun, ha, ha.
So much fun.
Yeah, totally.
Isn't this relaxing? - Yeah, this is great.
- Absolutely.
Very relaxing.
Uh, you know what? I better get out.
I feel like an overcooked noodle.
Oh, don't be silly.
You just got in.
Just relax.
So, Ade, how are things going with your album? Uh, hold that thought.
Victor is here.
Apparently, he has something to drop off.
Some sort of holiday present.
Ha, ha.
You two, soak.
- No, no, I'll come with you.
- No, seriously, I'm getting woozy.
- Sorry to bother you.
- Yeah, I was hanging with my friends, but, whatever, you're here now.
- Nice robes.
- Uh, they're hers.
Uh, anyway, uh, this is for you.
It's just a little Christmas gift/housewarming present.
Housewarming? If it was up to you, I wouldn't even live in this place.
Slash-apology gift.
- A blanket? - And a bottle of champagne.
Uh, nonalcoholic, of course.
Yeah, uh, get it? A wet blanket? Because I was being such a, you know, downer before.
It's cashmere.
Look, I could pretend like I love it, but to be honest, I really don't love it.
It'd be easier for me if you just returned it.
Do you mind? Thanks.
Okay, sure.
- That's my bad.
- Ha, ha.
- What? - That was pretty harsh.
Oh, please, you feel bad for Victor? That guy treated me like crap and you know it.
You hated him, Navid.
Ha, ha, a blanket? Seriously? Hey, babe? It's late.
You should get some sleep.
So I've got a surprise.
We're going to Rome.
I figured we needed a vacation this year.
You can see your cousins, check out the Sistine Chapel.
- I just booked us a flight.
- You did? Leaving tomorrow.
Hey, don't worry.
I already picked up a piñata on Olvera Street.
The traditional mother-daughter winter- solstice tradition will remain intact I called Dad.
- What? - Yeah.
Okay? I called Dad, and we went to dinner, and he invited me to spend Christmas with him.
Like a real Christmas, not a winter solstice with a piñata.
A Christmas with a tree, and a turkey, and carols I can't believe you called your father.
More like you can't believe that your efforts to keep us apart didn't work.
- Look, it's not true.
- Okay, so You didn't tell Dad to stay away from me? I Yes, I did.
You know, but with good reason.
Your father, Ivy, he's not a good guy.
He's selfish and not trustworthy Not trustworthy? Wow, that's really funny.
You talking about trust.
I'm not going to Italy, okay? You can go without me.
You know what, it's really late.
I'd like to get some rest.
Come on, Beyoncé.
Uh, hi.
- Couldn't sleep.
- Right.
Got a glass of water.
Look, um, I can't stop thinking about you, Silver.
And I gotta ask you, is what I'm feeling all in my head? Yes.
You mean, you don't feel the same way that I feel? What are you guys doing? - Just getting a glass of water.
- Just walking Beyoncé.
Well, I just had the most horrible nightmare ever.
I was at the Grammy's, I was wearing the same dress as Miley Cyrus.
I'm literally shaking.
Hey, girls.
Say cheese.
- Cheese, ha, ha.
- Ha-ha-ha.
More like cheese-y.
Outdoor ice skating in L.
A? Come on, big whoop.
I get it.
Someone's jealous they didn't think of it for their big party.
I had ice sculptures and cookies with my face on it.
She does not have cookies.
On the other hand, she has Justin Bieber.
- Get out.
What? - No, I saw him by the latke table.
He was double-dipping in the applesauce.
Jeremy Piven and Rachel Zoe, I mean, oh, my God.
- Elves.
- What? She has elves.
What? Santa baby Just slip a sable under the tree For me Been an awful good girl Santa baby So hurry down the chimney tonight Santa baby, a '54 convertible too Light blue I'll wait up for you, dear Santa baby So hurry down the chimney tonight Hurry down the chimney tonight Hurry tonight Elves.
I should've thought of elves.
You should go to Ade's party.
I'm not going to Ade's party.
I'm staying here and taking care of you.
Oh, Charlie.
- What the hell are you doing here? - I was worried.
- Get out.
- I want to make sure you're okay.
You know what, I will be okay if you get out of my face.
Get out.
- If you'd just let me talk - I don't wanna talk.
Okay, man.
I'm sorry.
I was worried.
I know, but everything's okay.
Dixon and I will take care of Liam.
Okay, I just Just take good care of him.
Yeah, I will.
I'll see you later.
Okay, oh, my God, thank you all so much for coming.
This is amazing.
Whoo! We love you, girl.
Ha, ha.
"The holidays are a time when we can celebrate miracles.
Christians celebrate the miraculous virgin birth of Jesus Christ, from whom we get the word 'Christmas.
' And Jews celebrate some sort of miraculous candle oil that burned way longer than advertised.
And when I look out at all of you and I think about my life right now, my success, my friends, my forthcoming album, ha, ha, I keep thinking that I'm living a miracle.
" - Aw.
- I love you all, guys.
Enjoy the party.
Wow, man, it's It's crazy how much has changed just this year.
Everything's different.
Ade's a huge pop star living in the Munster Mansion.
And Naomi's been through hell and back.
Me and Ivy are over.
And you, you've gone through a pretty big change yourself.
What do you mean? You know, not being able to play tennis anymore.
Oh, ahem, yeah, yeah.
Not being able to play tennis is huge.
You didn't tell me you could surf like that.
You're seriously good.
Okay, no, I seriously wiped out, like, four times.
Ivy, I am so impressed with you.
So is surfing something you wanna do with your life? Yeah.
God, I would love, love, love to be a pro surfer.
That'd be amazing.
So is that something that you'd do right away out of high school? Yeah, maybe.
I'd be stoked, but on the other hand, you know, I don't wanna miss out on the chance to go to college.
And coming from the parental angle, you probably think I should go to college first, huh? Well, whatever you want.
You know, I just Just what? Ah, never mind.
I don't wanna rag on your mother too much.
No, no, no, tell me.
What were you gonna say? Okay.
I'll tell you this because I feel like we get each other, you and me.
Yeah, totally.
What's up? Not sure how much you know how the divorce went down.
Not much.
Mom was always pretty tight-lipped about it.
It was typical.
Uh, well, things were threatening to get nasty and I agreed to some things that maybe I shouldn't have.
Like what? What did she make you do? There's a clause in the divorce papers that says I have to pay for your college.
And I have two kids of my own right behind you and I don't have the kind of money your mother does.
And now that we're on good terms, hopefully we could present a united front to Laurel to tell her that paying for your college is her responsibility.
Oh, hey, did I mention that you should stop by for Christmas? You really should try and make it.
Patricia and the kids and I have a real blast, and it'd be so cool if you could come by.
Yeah, no, that sounds good.
Oh! How gorgeous is this? I love it.
Oh, this is hideous.
Return pile.
Another present for me? Yay.
Okay, you know what, I'm gonna take a walk, Ade.
A scarf? Oh, my gosh.
This is so beautiful.
Oh, I'll see you in a little bit, babe.
- Do we hate it? - Oh, we so hate it.
Return pile.
Candy cane, gingerbread, figgy pudding? No, thanks.
Candy cane, gingerbread, figgy pudding? I didn't even know figgy pudding was a real thing.
Oh, it's real, all right.
Real delicious.
No, thanks.
I'm actually just about to take off.
Turns out watching other people have fun doesn't always cheer a person up.
Thank you, though.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How was dinner? Ah.
I know you're still annoyed with me about the whole Oscar thing.
But I just What was it like to see your dad? How did it go? How did it go? Well, I'll tell you.
It went horribly, okay? Turns out he doesn't actually care about me at all and it sucked.
Happy holidays.
"To Adrianna.
May this holiday season bring you everything you deserve.
With love, Victor.
" Ugh, what a kiss-ass.
Where is he, anyway? Who cares? This better be good or someone's unemployed.
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Come on.
Open it.
What is it? - What did you get? - What is it, a photo? - Who took it? - I hope someone famous.
I think he took it himself.
Well, what is it, some kind of private joke? I do not get that man's sense of humour.
Now, where are you going? What, did you, like, miss your flight? I decided not to go.
Why not? Naomi called me and she told me that things didn't go so well with your dad.
She thought you might not wanna be alone.
I'm fine, okay? I'm fine.
Everything's Everything's fine.
Ivy, what happened? What is it? He didn't really wanna have me for Christmas.
Okay? He just wanted to see me because he didn't wanna pay for my college.
That's it, he just didn't wanna pay for me.
He has his own kids, you know, his real kids he has to pay for.
Babe Oh, sweetie, come here.
Come on, honey.
You were right, Mom.
He's not trustworthy.
He's not.
Oh, I'm so sorry you got hurt.
And, Ivy, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so sorry for how I hurt you.
I I'm so sorry about Oscar and And I'm sorry that we don't have a white picket fence, you know, and I don't know how to make a turkey or do any of the mom things that moms are supposed to do.
Mom, it's okay.
I don't care about a turkey, not really.
I just I really need you.
I really I just need you to love me.
That's all.
Well, that's something I can do.
I can love you.
I can love the hell out of you, Ivy.
- Hello.
- Did you steal my notebook? Your notebook? Ha, ha.
That's pretty funny.
You did.
You stole it.
No, no, no, you stole it, I'm merely seeking restitution.
- What does that mean? - It means payback, ha, ha.
No, I mean, what did you do? What? - What did you do with the notebook? - Look, you cut my commission in half.
I had to figure out another way to make money.
Turns out there were a number of "Internet journalists," shall we say, that were, uh, willing to pay quite handsomely.
And I'm doing an exclusive with People tomorrow.
Should be fun.
Maybe they'll take my picture.
Hey, sweetheart, how would you like a cashmere blanket? I gotta take this, okay? People are so rude.
Hey, Marla, long time no talk.
So, um, thanks for calling my mother.
That was totally out of line and an invasion of privacy and all that, but it was sweet.
And I'm grateful.
I'm glad, Ivy.
I know you think I'm self-centered and boy crazy, but I really care about my friends, and you're one of my friends.
Yeah, well, cool.
Ho's before bros.
Ha, ha.
And listen, I've been thinking about it, um, as much as I think that Oscar is a total jerk I know, I know.
No, wait, wait.
I'm not gonna stand in the way if you wanna go out with him.
You know, I can be friends with you without liking the guy that you date.
Yeah? Yeah.
And I wanna be friends with you.
So I guess we'll just agree to disagree about him.
Thanks, Ivy.
Hey, good to go.
Uh, okay.
Yo, I gotta go.
Happy holidays.
You too, Naomi.
Ha, ha, thattagirl.
You got a piece of it.
I hate prime rib.
It's bloody and disgusting.
I hate turkey dinners.
I hate meat in general.
I hate white picket fences.
I hate carolling.
I hate stupid Christmas carols.
Whoo-hoo! Got it! Mine.
I'm sorry to wake you.
No, no.
No, you've gotta for the concussion.
Thanks, by the way.
I feel bad that you missed the party.
I don't.
Um When I heard that you were in the hospital, I just I felt like my heart stopped or something.
If you weren't okay, then I wouldn't be okay.
I'm sorry how I acted before.
With Charlie.
I've got my problems with him, but It's not just that.
It's hard for me to see you with him.
Because l Because I'm in love with you.
I've loved you for a long time.
Candy cane? Gingerbread? - Uh - Figgy pudding? Ha.
Uh, yeah, no, thanks.
It's cool.
That guy loves his figgy pudding.
Yeah, sure does.
You okay? Hmm.
Not really.
Everything is all messed up and You know, it's my own fault.
What do you mean? I basically destroyed our friendship by making everything awkward and - Navid.
- No, Silver, I'm really sorry.
l I realise that I'm completely deluded and there's just There's nothing between us.
And I don't even know what's wrong with me.
I mean, first, I wreck my family by reporting my dad and now this? My friendship with you is like the only thing that made me happy, and I ruined it.
I'm just an idiot.
A deluded, crazy idiot and Navid, you're not.
It's not It's It's not all in your head.
I mean, I feel it too.
You do? Yeah, I do.
What a laugh it would have been If Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus Last night Hey, dude.
Tell me you have one of those figgy puddings left.
I do.
Can I talk to you alone? I'm sorry to bug you.
I need to talk and there's no one else to talk to.
What about a therapist? Look, lan, I get that you came out in the ninth grade, but I'm just not there yet.
- Teddy.
- Look I know I'm gay.
I just need some time to process that.
I just wanna figure out who I am and what it means before the whole world knows and starts to judge me.
Can't you just give me that time? There's so much about this that is totally overwhelming and confusing.
But there's one thing I'm not confused about.
I wanna be with you.
I like you, lan.
And I wanna be with you.
- Okay? - Yeah.
I hear you.
I hear where you're coming from.
And if you need some time when things aren't totally in the open, we can do that.
It's okay with me.
- Okay.
Hey, Oscar.
It's Naomi.
Um, where'd you go? I was looking for you at the end of the party, but you disappeared.
Um, so listen, I've been thinking about your offer and I've decided that Well I think you're hot, but fundamentally, I'm a girls' girl, and a girls' girl just isn't gonna go out with a guy who was a jerk to one of her friends, even if he's really hot.
And plus, I'm actually really happy being alone right now.
Goodbye, Oscar.