Ali G Rezurection (2014) s02e05 Episode Script
Health
1 Bang belly and governtin'! I is here at the most famous sign in the world.
The Ho oh the Los Angeles sign.
Los Angeles weren't always run by the honky.
Before that it was home to a tribe of Red Indians called the "Jeep Cherokees.
" There has been 'nuff problems over the years in this place.
In nineteen hundred and ninety ones, there was a massive earthquake, innit? No one knows who was responsible for it, but 'nuff people seem to blame the same bloke and say that it was Sam Andreas' fault.
If you is watchin' this now, Sam, listen up.
I know you is tired of hearin' everyone blame you, but you can't run forever, brother.
That ain't no life.
Come forward and give yourself in.
Check out me show.
Everytin' cris! 2x05 - Health Ali G's voice: Telepathy.
[snap.]
Yo, boom boom, shake de mofo room.
I is here with the main man of medicine.
His name be C.
Everett Koop.
So all you lot out there need to listen up, because you is as likely to be killed by an illness as you is by a drive-by.
So, let's talk about the human body, 'cause after all, everyone has got one of them so we is meant to believe.
How important is the heart? The heart is the pump that makes the blood take all the things that you need nutritionally to all parts of your body.
Why is the actual heart beat so old-fashioned, you know, "boom boom, boom boom, boom boom.
" That's a built-in mechanism in the heart that is - it's electrical.
- But surely, like, my homies out there would be more into looking after their heart if they had a beat that they could relate to, like a kind of drum and base, you know [beat boxing.]
Then they would look after it and go, "Yo, this is me heart! Respect it.
" Nope, you're way off base there.
But why can't we use techmology and let's say take out some of the with all respect boring organs and stick in, like, a CD player, like, wicked speakers so you're, like, boomin' out.
You is like a walking sound system.
That would be wicked, man! It would be wicked is what you say.
It would be impossible is a better word.
Well, what about sticking a mobile phone in there? Surely there is space for that.
You just don't know what you're talking about.
What do you think would happen to your body with a cell phone in there? Well, I'd be able to answer calls and all that kinda thing.
No, you'd start to bleed, you'd start to get infections and before long, if nobody intervened, you'd be dead.
[music.]
- What is the brain? - The brain is the thing that you have to have.
Without the brain, nothing else works.
Is the brain's memory any good? The brain's memory is perfect.
So how come I can't remember me pin number? - Well - I think it's got, like, a four in it, I could give you a quick answer and say you're stupid, you know? Well, that obviously ain't the real reason.
Well, it's the beginning of truth.
Does all of us really have bones or is it just what the media want us to believe? You all have bones.
Me know this is a generalization, but why is all skeletons - involved in evil stuff? - That's just, um skeletons are the last thing to disappear.
How fast do bones grow? They grow very remarkably until you're a certain age, and then when you go through puberty, bones stop growing in length.
How come some bones can grow in, like, a few seconds, like, a few inches? That can't happen.
But how come the dong bone can, you know, just It's not a bone.
It's not a bone.
- It is a bone, innit? - Nope, it isn't a bone.
But it does grow well quickly.
I is got, like, eleven girls who I can prove it, - they can give you written evidence.
- It's not a bone.
[music.]
Do you reckon it's ever okay to end someone's life? No.
I do not.
But like with me cat, when him had a broken leg, - me took him to the vet and - Your cat your cat is not a human being.
- Well, me cat was a human being.
- No, please don't confuse me.
Your cat was not a human being.
Nobody in the world believes a cat is a human being.
Yeah, but it had human feelings, though.
No, he doesn't have human feelings.
- It was sad sometimes.
- I'm sure it's sad.
It was sad when we had to "buka" it 'cause of the leg.
Let's talk about a big thing.
Death D-E-F.
I is talking about the thing that happens to you you know, a few weeks after you is alive.
- That's bad, innit? - Yeah, you don't spell it that way, though, it's D-E-A-T-H.
So what is the chances that me will eventually die? That you will die? 100%.
I can guarantee that 100%.
You will die.
Right, you is being a bit of a pessimist there.
No, I'm being an absolute realist.
[sighing.]
I didn't realize you was a player hater.
I'd like to get a second opinion on that.
There is nobody that I know who has a mind and a brain who doesn't know that everybody will die.
I like to fink that four out of five people is definitely gonna be have the def thing happen to them.
One out of five, Jah bless, keep going, keepin' it strong.
- I hope.
- You will eventually find you're wrong.
Keep it real.
Yo, big up yourself.
[music plays.]
[music.]
Hello.
Jankoey.
I come here to learn etiquette in Deep South with Helen, who professor of etiquette.
- Yes, sir.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Should you be polite to all? - Yes.
- Eh, should you be polite to prostitute? Well, yes, because, - you know, that's what they do.
- Yes.
How much is polite to tip them? - To tip? - Yes.
- Um, usually, it's 10%.
- Yes.
- In some places, and - For hand relief.
and some places it's 20%.
- For - It varies.
- with the - Yes.
- vagine.
- But it always proper to tip.
Will you teach me, please, how to be a manners? Yes, sir, I will.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you? - You're welcome.
Uh, thank you.
You say how to talk to people with different personality? - Right, we also have a dull person.
- Like my wife.
- Well, what you need to do is think of - She is boring! But what you need to do is think about things - to help her not be boring.
- It is a like doing it with my sister.
Well, I'm not we're not talking about that, we're talking about is she boring - just sitting and having dinner with? - Yes.
Well, then you need to think of things that you can talk about.
Maybe she's boring 'cause you haven't done enough with her.
I do everything.
I try in the kitchen I do it.
Every way we try.
We look at the DVD.
We try to make it ourself.
[music.]
Man: Ladies and gentlemen This is Elsa McDowell, this is Borat.
- Hello, how do you do? - It's a pleasure.
- Simms McDowell, glad [smooches.]
- Jankoey.
- Hello, I'm George Thurman.
- Hello, Borat Sagdiyev.
Can I talk about what I did last night? Well, it depends on what you did last night.
Is it something personal that maybe makes someone feel embarrassed or uncomfortable? No.
Last night I I have sex.
- I beg your pardon? - Mistake.
I had with woman from Gambia, - I do a - Oh.
Woman: In America, we don't discuss that.
But she was nice! High five! - She was a - You're in trouble, George.
Can I talk about my hobbies? Sure, that's a wonderful thing to talk about.
Again, that's getting to know a person.
Do you like porno? [laughter.]
No.
Woman: This is such an interesting conversation.
Borat: But why? In Kazakhstan now, after communism, we have a lot of porno! I like I like a I like a shaved pussy! [chuckles.]
Should I talk about my family? Sure, I would share good things about your family.
My sister she is a prostitute? - That's sad.
- What? - Why is she a prostitute? - She like to make money! [laughing.]
High five! Hmm, she like to come to US and A, she can stay with you? George: We'd have to say - She is good.
- I know the answer to that.
What if I make a smell? Should I say is me? No, you don't make it obvious.
But if you feel like that maybe people are looking at you, like you just say, "Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry.
" Borat: There is a smell.
It smell like a shit! [laughing.]
Yes, it does.
Uh, we say a pot.
When you do a pot, when you squeeze a bad a bad smell from the hole.
Hole.
- Yeah.
- Borat: You do a pot.
- That's right.
- Woman: There are also - wonderful flowers that - I can do a big pot! - You want I try? - I've done it.
- They have a great - You want I try to do a pot? - No.
- I can do.
I know that.
So can I.
- You want I can do? - Man: No.
Can you make the chef do it? - I have one.
- Man: Uh-uh.
- I have one.
You want? - No, no.
Borat, don't do it.
- It is coming.
- Um - Man #2: We're waiting.
- Woman: No, we're not.
- Borat: Do you want? - No! - You want? I can do.
- No! - Put your hand close.
- No! - Jankoey.
- Jankoey.
You are a fat! [laughing.]
You are a fat! - He is a fat.
- I am fat.
- Big fat.
That's why I said - You are tiny! Does he squash you when you do a sex? [music.]
[SFX.]
Bong Easy now.
Sex.
You has all heard the words.
Probably 'nuff of you out there is done it.
- So, what is pornography? - I think pornography sends a very dangerous message to society.
I think it lies about sex.
- What does you fink, darling? - Well, I mean, I [laughs.]
I enjoy watching it myself.
- No doubt.
- I mean, of course, you know, a lot I feel is the parents, because of course you have to be 18 before you enter these sites.
- That's right.
- You know, there's a written - LaRue: Oh, no.
- Yeah, she's right, though.
There's a written statement there saying, "Yes, I'm 18.
" I mean, I see these young girls - LaRue: That's - Whoa, whoa, whoa, let her finish.
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.
Heart: I mean, I'm seeing, like, young girls 12, 13 and I'm thinking they're 18, you know.
For the men in this business, how important is it - the size of the warrior? - It's not really the size.
You know, I've worked with, uh, quite large men - and I worked with smaller men.
- Ali G: A'ight.
'Cause I has got a massive one, you know, but what would you say to people out there - wif small ones? Not me.
- Heart: No, it's just - I'm quite the opposite - of course the saying, - it's not how large, it's how you use it.
- Why does you fink it is that you ain't have sex with someone yet? Do you fink it is because you is too shy or 'cause you is aimin' for - honeys out of your league? - No.
Do you fink it's because of the confidence - No, no, no.
- You don't have the chance - No.
- to go up to ladies - No.
- and say let's do it? No, I do not believe that sex with multiple partners should be the normal standard in our society.
So what you is sayin' is you actually is tryin' not to have sex? Basically what I'm attempting to do is not allow sex to come to the forefront of my life.
Does you fink the age at which you can have sex - is at the right level? - For most states in this country, the age of consensual sex - is usually around 16 or 18.
- Ali G: A'ight.
Virgin, does you fink they is at the right age? Well, I think the dif I think the difficulty is the issue that, you know, we're wired to have sex pretty young.
- How old can I - I was eighteen when I lost my virginity.
Ali G: You was eighteen? How old was you? Obviously I ain't asking you 'cause you is a virgin, but I was, like, I fink, about ten or somefing - wif this model from Italy who was 28.
- Hmm.
It is illegal for people to have sex below the age of 16.
Should it be illegal to have sex above the age of something like 50? No, I wouldn't want it to be illegal to have sex above the age of 50 for personal reasons! [laughs.]
But, like, a couple of years ago, me had a really bad experience.
- Me walked in on me nana.
- Mm-hmm.
She was actually doing it, like, 69, wif Uncle Derrick her boyfriend, Uncle Derrick.
- Smith: Mm-hmm.
- I mean, a real uncle, and it was like - I felt sick.
It was like - Smith: Sure.
- LaRue: But the way to - Walnuts in a sock.
- But has she - Ali G: How can that be right? Or you learn to knock before you go into Nana's bedroom.
No, but then it happen they did it in the living room as well.
Well, that's irresponsible if you know, for parents to do that when their there are children around or anyone else.
So let's just have one word to sum up your position.
I'd say commitment.
- Virgin? - Nobility.
- Jesus.
- Hmm safety.
Yo, and mine is peace.
So let's try and do that into somefing.
Uh pee-eeace! Yo, nobility! Yeah! Check it! 'Cause Jesus! Innit? - He is - Commitment.
Commmii-ii Ii-itment.
- Okay.
- Peace.
Just fought that up, just like that.
- 'Cause I didn't know - Right.
what your words were gonna be before any of that.
I just - that just was off de top of my head.
- Smith: That's good.
Okay.
[music.]
Man: Funkyzeit! What do you think about Hitler? You know he was from Austria.
I mean Do you think he had good style? Everybody's uniform looked exactly perfect.
- Yeah.
- It was never out of style.
I mean, and he had style and he had a message.
- A bit like Christina Aguilera.
- Uh, yes, I guess he did have a message.
So, if Jesus were alive today, where would he shop? Um, Jesus would probably shop on Melrose, actually.
We've got a lot of shops that actually have long, cool getup, yet still have that back-to-earth kind of feeling.
Sure, and what about Gandhi? Where would he shop? Gandhi was a minimalist.
I'd say probably he would shop downtown.
Actually, downtown there's a lot of fabric stores, and I think he would just go into a shop and buy a piece of fabric, tie it with a rope, and he'd be fine.
[music.]
Bruno: What is Jonathan Antin? What is Jonathan Antin? [Bleep.]
, man, I'm just a I'm a troubled crazy [bleep.]
ing maniac that that has a lot of feelings and a lot of emotion - and a lot of craziness.
- Look at the evil people in the world.
Saddam Hussein, Hitler Stalin.
What they all have in common? - Mustaches.
- There's quite a few Middle Easterners that look like him with that kind of mustache.
That are not totally crazy.
- Yeah, there are a few people - A few.
- with mustaches who aren't totally crazy.
- Absolutely.
- But most of them - They're a little [bleep.]
in nuts.
- in my experience - They're a little weird.
Is it a coincidence that all the good people have long hair? Like Jesus and, like, hippies, you know, Rod Stewart, whatever.
Sure, sure.
I've done Rod Stewart's hair for a long time.
- I'll be really honest with you.
- Sure.
I'm very impressed that you've brought these issues up, because I've thought of them a couple of times - in my career, - Right, me too.
but I've never heard anyone else ever address them except for you.
- Thanks, that means a lot.
- Never, I gotta tell you, man.
That's like did you write all this shit? Yeah, I just been thinking this shit, 'cause I Dude, that's so heavy, because I've always wondered why Yeah, 'cause it's crazy! Why all the good people - Yeah, Jesus and Moses and - Yeah.
You know, when they show pictures of God, - Yeah, the long hair.
- they all have long hair! You know, they didn't care so much about their look.
They wore wraps.
They grew their hair long.
Just say something controversial into the camera.
You mother[bleep.]
in the Middle East.
God help you if I ever come over there.
'Cause I'll take all you [bleep.]
suckers out.
[music.]
Man: Funkyzeit!
The Ho oh the Los Angeles sign.
Los Angeles weren't always run by the honky.
Before that it was home to a tribe of Red Indians called the "Jeep Cherokees.
" There has been 'nuff problems over the years in this place.
In nineteen hundred and ninety ones, there was a massive earthquake, innit? No one knows who was responsible for it, but 'nuff people seem to blame the same bloke and say that it was Sam Andreas' fault.
If you is watchin' this now, Sam, listen up.
I know you is tired of hearin' everyone blame you, but you can't run forever, brother.
That ain't no life.
Come forward and give yourself in.
Check out me show.
Everytin' cris! 2x05 - Health Ali G's voice: Telepathy.
[snap.]
Yo, boom boom, shake de mofo room.
I is here with the main man of medicine.
His name be C.
Everett Koop.
So all you lot out there need to listen up, because you is as likely to be killed by an illness as you is by a drive-by.
So, let's talk about the human body, 'cause after all, everyone has got one of them so we is meant to believe.
How important is the heart? The heart is the pump that makes the blood take all the things that you need nutritionally to all parts of your body.
Why is the actual heart beat so old-fashioned, you know, "boom boom, boom boom, boom boom.
" That's a built-in mechanism in the heart that is - it's electrical.
- But surely, like, my homies out there would be more into looking after their heart if they had a beat that they could relate to, like a kind of drum and base, you know [beat boxing.]
Then they would look after it and go, "Yo, this is me heart! Respect it.
" Nope, you're way off base there.
But why can't we use techmology and let's say take out some of the with all respect boring organs and stick in, like, a CD player, like, wicked speakers so you're, like, boomin' out.
You is like a walking sound system.
That would be wicked, man! It would be wicked is what you say.
It would be impossible is a better word.
Well, what about sticking a mobile phone in there? Surely there is space for that.
You just don't know what you're talking about.
What do you think would happen to your body with a cell phone in there? Well, I'd be able to answer calls and all that kinda thing.
No, you'd start to bleed, you'd start to get infections and before long, if nobody intervened, you'd be dead.
[music.]
- What is the brain? - The brain is the thing that you have to have.
Without the brain, nothing else works.
Is the brain's memory any good? The brain's memory is perfect.
So how come I can't remember me pin number? - Well - I think it's got, like, a four in it, I could give you a quick answer and say you're stupid, you know? Well, that obviously ain't the real reason.
Well, it's the beginning of truth.
Does all of us really have bones or is it just what the media want us to believe? You all have bones.
Me know this is a generalization, but why is all skeletons - involved in evil stuff? - That's just, um skeletons are the last thing to disappear.
How fast do bones grow? They grow very remarkably until you're a certain age, and then when you go through puberty, bones stop growing in length.
How come some bones can grow in, like, a few seconds, like, a few inches? That can't happen.
But how come the dong bone can, you know, just It's not a bone.
It's not a bone.
- It is a bone, innit? - Nope, it isn't a bone.
But it does grow well quickly.
I is got, like, eleven girls who I can prove it, - they can give you written evidence.
- It's not a bone.
[music.]
Do you reckon it's ever okay to end someone's life? No.
I do not.
But like with me cat, when him had a broken leg, - me took him to the vet and - Your cat your cat is not a human being.
- Well, me cat was a human being.
- No, please don't confuse me.
Your cat was not a human being.
Nobody in the world believes a cat is a human being.
Yeah, but it had human feelings, though.
No, he doesn't have human feelings.
- It was sad sometimes.
- I'm sure it's sad.
It was sad when we had to "buka" it 'cause of the leg.
Let's talk about a big thing.
Death D-E-F.
I is talking about the thing that happens to you you know, a few weeks after you is alive.
- That's bad, innit? - Yeah, you don't spell it that way, though, it's D-E-A-T-H.
So what is the chances that me will eventually die? That you will die? 100%.
I can guarantee that 100%.
You will die.
Right, you is being a bit of a pessimist there.
No, I'm being an absolute realist.
[sighing.]
I didn't realize you was a player hater.
I'd like to get a second opinion on that.
There is nobody that I know who has a mind and a brain who doesn't know that everybody will die.
I like to fink that four out of five people is definitely gonna be have the def thing happen to them.
One out of five, Jah bless, keep going, keepin' it strong.
- I hope.
- You will eventually find you're wrong.
Keep it real.
Yo, big up yourself.
[music plays.]
[music.]
Hello.
Jankoey.
I come here to learn etiquette in Deep South with Helen, who professor of etiquette.
- Yes, sir.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Should you be polite to all? - Yes.
- Eh, should you be polite to prostitute? Well, yes, because, - you know, that's what they do.
- Yes.
How much is polite to tip them? - To tip? - Yes.
- Um, usually, it's 10%.
- Yes.
- In some places, and - For hand relief.
and some places it's 20%.
- For - It varies.
- with the - Yes.
- vagine.
- But it always proper to tip.
Will you teach me, please, how to be a manners? Yes, sir, I will.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you? - You're welcome.
Uh, thank you.
You say how to talk to people with different personality? - Right, we also have a dull person.
- Like my wife.
- Well, what you need to do is think of - She is boring! But what you need to do is think about things - to help her not be boring.
- It is a like doing it with my sister.
Well, I'm not we're not talking about that, we're talking about is she boring - just sitting and having dinner with? - Yes.
Well, then you need to think of things that you can talk about.
Maybe she's boring 'cause you haven't done enough with her.
I do everything.
I try in the kitchen I do it.
Every way we try.
We look at the DVD.
We try to make it ourself.
[music.]
Man: Ladies and gentlemen This is Elsa McDowell, this is Borat.
- Hello, how do you do? - It's a pleasure.
- Simms McDowell, glad [smooches.]
- Jankoey.
- Hello, I'm George Thurman.
- Hello, Borat Sagdiyev.
Can I talk about what I did last night? Well, it depends on what you did last night.
Is it something personal that maybe makes someone feel embarrassed or uncomfortable? No.
Last night I I have sex.
- I beg your pardon? - Mistake.
I had with woman from Gambia, - I do a - Oh.
Woman: In America, we don't discuss that.
But she was nice! High five! - She was a - You're in trouble, George.
Can I talk about my hobbies? Sure, that's a wonderful thing to talk about.
Again, that's getting to know a person.
Do you like porno? [laughter.]
No.
Woman: This is such an interesting conversation.
Borat: But why? In Kazakhstan now, after communism, we have a lot of porno! I like I like a I like a shaved pussy! [chuckles.]
Should I talk about my family? Sure, I would share good things about your family.
My sister she is a prostitute? - That's sad.
- What? - Why is she a prostitute? - She like to make money! [laughing.]
High five! Hmm, she like to come to US and A, she can stay with you? George: We'd have to say - She is good.
- I know the answer to that.
What if I make a smell? Should I say is me? No, you don't make it obvious.
But if you feel like that maybe people are looking at you, like you just say, "Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry.
" Borat: There is a smell.
It smell like a shit! [laughing.]
Yes, it does.
Uh, we say a pot.
When you do a pot, when you squeeze a bad a bad smell from the hole.
Hole.
- Yeah.
- Borat: You do a pot.
- That's right.
- Woman: There are also - wonderful flowers that - I can do a big pot! - You want I try? - I've done it.
- They have a great - You want I try to do a pot? - No.
- I can do.
I know that.
So can I.
- You want I can do? - Man: No.
Can you make the chef do it? - I have one.
- Man: Uh-uh.
- I have one.
You want? - No, no.
Borat, don't do it.
- It is coming.
- Um - Man #2: We're waiting.
- Woman: No, we're not.
- Borat: Do you want? - No! - You want? I can do.
- No! - Put your hand close.
- No! - Jankoey.
- Jankoey.
You are a fat! [laughing.]
You are a fat! - He is a fat.
- I am fat.
- Big fat.
That's why I said - You are tiny! Does he squash you when you do a sex? [music.]
[SFX.]
Bong Easy now.
Sex.
You has all heard the words.
Probably 'nuff of you out there is done it.
- So, what is pornography? - I think pornography sends a very dangerous message to society.
I think it lies about sex.
- What does you fink, darling? - Well, I mean, I [laughs.]
I enjoy watching it myself.
- No doubt.
- I mean, of course, you know, a lot I feel is the parents, because of course you have to be 18 before you enter these sites.
- That's right.
- You know, there's a written - LaRue: Oh, no.
- Yeah, she's right, though.
There's a written statement there saying, "Yes, I'm 18.
" I mean, I see these young girls - LaRue: That's - Whoa, whoa, whoa, let her finish.
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.
Heart: I mean, I'm seeing, like, young girls 12, 13 and I'm thinking they're 18, you know.
For the men in this business, how important is it - the size of the warrior? - It's not really the size.
You know, I've worked with, uh, quite large men - and I worked with smaller men.
- Ali G: A'ight.
'Cause I has got a massive one, you know, but what would you say to people out there - wif small ones? Not me.
- Heart: No, it's just - I'm quite the opposite - of course the saying, - it's not how large, it's how you use it.
- Why does you fink it is that you ain't have sex with someone yet? Do you fink it is because you is too shy or 'cause you is aimin' for - honeys out of your league? - No.
Do you fink it's because of the confidence - No, no, no.
- You don't have the chance - No.
- to go up to ladies - No.
- and say let's do it? No, I do not believe that sex with multiple partners should be the normal standard in our society.
So what you is sayin' is you actually is tryin' not to have sex? Basically what I'm attempting to do is not allow sex to come to the forefront of my life.
Does you fink the age at which you can have sex - is at the right level? - For most states in this country, the age of consensual sex - is usually around 16 or 18.
- Ali G: A'ight.
Virgin, does you fink they is at the right age? Well, I think the dif I think the difficulty is the issue that, you know, we're wired to have sex pretty young.
- How old can I - I was eighteen when I lost my virginity.
Ali G: You was eighteen? How old was you? Obviously I ain't asking you 'cause you is a virgin, but I was, like, I fink, about ten or somefing - wif this model from Italy who was 28.
- Hmm.
It is illegal for people to have sex below the age of 16.
Should it be illegal to have sex above the age of something like 50? No, I wouldn't want it to be illegal to have sex above the age of 50 for personal reasons! [laughs.]
But, like, a couple of years ago, me had a really bad experience.
- Me walked in on me nana.
- Mm-hmm.
She was actually doing it, like, 69, wif Uncle Derrick her boyfriend, Uncle Derrick.
- Smith: Mm-hmm.
- I mean, a real uncle, and it was like - I felt sick.
It was like - Smith: Sure.
- LaRue: But the way to - Walnuts in a sock.
- But has she - Ali G: How can that be right? Or you learn to knock before you go into Nana's bedroom.
No, but then it happen they did it in the living room as well.
Well, that's irresponsible if you know, for parents to do that when their there are children around or anyone else.
So let's just have one word to sum up your position.
I'd say commitment.
- Virgin? - Nobility.
- Jesus.
- Hmm safety.
Yo, and mine is peace.
So let's try and do that into somefing.
Uh pee-eeace! Yo, nobility! Yeah! Check it! 'Cause Jesus! Innit? - He is - Commitment.
Commmii-ii Ii-itment.
- Okay.
- Peace.
Just fought that up, just like that.
- 'Cause I didn't know - Right.
what your words were gonna be before any of that.
I just - that just was off de top of my head.
- Smith: That's good.
Okay.
[music.]
Man: Funkyzeit! What do you think about Hitler? You know he was from Austria.
I mean Do you think he had good style? Everybody's uniform looked exactly perfect.
- Yeah.
- It was never out of style.
I mean, and he had style and he had a message.
- A bit like Christina Aguilera.
- Uh, yes, I guess he did have a message.
So, if Jesus were alive today, where would he shop? Um, Jesus would probably shop on Melrose, actually.
We've got a lot of shops that actually have long, cool getup, yet still have that back-to-earth kind of feeling.
Sure, and what about Gandhi? Where would he shop? Gandhi was a minimalist.
I'd say probably he would shop downtown.
Actually, downtown there's a lot of fabric stores, and I think he would just go into a shop and buy a piece of fabric, tie it with a rope, and he'd be fine.
[music.]
Bruno: What is Jonathan Antin? What is Jonathan Antin? [Bleep.]
, man, I'm just a I'm a troubled crazy [bleep.]
ing maniac that that has a lot of feelings and a lot of emotion - and a lot of craziness.
- Look at the evil people in the world.
Saddam Hussein, Hitler Stalin.
What they all have in common? - Mustaches.
- There's quite a few Middle Easterners that look like him with that kind of mustache.
That are not totally crazy.
- Yeah, there are a few people - A few.
- with mustaches who aren't totally crazy.
- Absolutely.
- But most of them - They're a little [bleep.]
in nuts.
- in my experience - They're a little weird.
Is it a coincidence that all the good people have long hair? Like Jesus and, like, hippies, you know, Rod Stewart, whatever.
Sure, sure.
I've done Rod Stewart's hair for a long time.
- I'll be really honest with you.
- Sure.
I'm very impressed that you've brought these issues up, because I've thought of them a couple of times - in my career, - Right, me too.
but I've never heard anyone else ever address them except for you.
- Thanks, that means a lot.
- Never, I gotta tell you, man.
That's like did you write all this shit? Yeah, I just been thinking this shit, 'cause I Dude, that's so heavy, because I've always wondered why Yeah, 'cause it's crazy! Why all the good people - Yeah, Jesus and Moses and - Yeah.
You know, when they show pictures of God, - Yeah, the long hair.
- they all have long hair! You know, they didn't care so much about their look.
They wore wraps.
They grew their hair long.
Just say something controversial into the camera.
You mother[bleep.]
in the Middle East.
God help you if I ever come over there.
'Cause I'll take all you [bleep.]
suckers out.
[music.]
Man: Funkyzeit!