Mom s05e09 Episode Script

1 Oh.
Look who decided to grace us with her presence.
- Hey, Geoffrey.
Sorry I'm late.
- Are you? Well, you know, it's what you say.
Christy, you're a good waitress, but you are constantly tardy.
Let's focus on the first part of that sentence.
That sort of thing might have flown with the old management Who no one misses, by the way.
Get a guy with a degree in restaurant science, I said, and here you are.
Yes.
A lot more often than you.
Because of a little traffic on the way from school.
- Promise it won't happen again.
- No, it won't.
You're fired.
Yeah.
No, I'm not.
- What? - Yeah, sorry, that just doesn't work for me right now.
What are the specials? I'm not telling you the specials; you're fired.
Let me guess branzino? Yes.
But you're still fired.
How about this? I graduate in five months, you can fire me then.
- This isn't a negotiation.
- Great.
Hi.
I'm Christy.
I'm your server.
Our special is branzino, and on the side, I'm guessing, is fingerling potatoes.
It's balsamic-glazed Brussels sprouts.
- Thanks, Geoff.
- It's Geoffrey.
Ugh.
Sorry about that.
He's new.
Oh.
I don't have a pen, so I'm just gonna record your order on my phone.
Oh, crap.
I don't have enough space.
Let me just delete a couple things.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How was your day? - Not bad.
I got fired.
- What?! Don't worry.
It didn't take.
(relieved sigh) - Brought home some branzino.
- Oh, thank God.
- Who fired you, the new manager? - Yeah.
Geoffrey.
Ugh.
Geoffrey with a "G"? Douche with a "D.
" Hey, uh, I just got off the phone with your brother.
- Why'd Ray call you? - Because I'm his friend.
- But I'm his sister.
- Yeah, but he likes me.
Fine.
What did he want? (chuckles): He asked me not to tell you.
But you enjoy sex, so He needs me to bail him out of jail.
- Oh, no.
- Of course he's in jail.
He kept drinking and doing coke.
I told you this was gonna happen.
You've done it again, Nostradamus.
- How much is his bail? - Two grand.
Ah.
That's why he called you.
And we're friends.
So I'm guessing two grand Public intoxication? I'm going with resisting arrest.
Maybe both.
The old Bonnie Plunkett daily double.
Hey, if I'm drinkin', I'm resistin'.
- I'll be back in a couple hours.
- Nice try.
We're going with you.
No, no, no.
See, Ray specifically asked me not to have you guys come along, or to even tell you about the Why-why am I still talking? That's okay.
I'll get the door.
So, what's the plan? Do we let him sleep it off and drag him straight to a meeting, or do we just lock him in a cage with Marjorie? Maybe have an ounce of compassion first.
I had compassion the last time he messed up.
This time, I've got a sock full of nickels with his name on it.
Starting to see why Ray didn't want to call you.
This place looks so familiar.
Was I ever arrested here? I thought that, too, and then I realized it looks exactly like the jail in Carlsbad.
- Yes.
- What'd you do in Carlsbad? - Shoplifting? - Ooh, that was Temecula.
Carlsbad was drunk, disorderly, - and partially nude.
- Partially nude! I still contend Sharpie on my nipples counts as a shirt.
I went to bail her out, it was taking forever, so I strike up a conversation with a bounty hunter, and bing-bang-boom, there we were, just You know what? Story for another time.
(door buzzes) Son of a bitch.
Sorry, man.
Hard to sneak out of the house in a wheelchair.
Oh, my God, Ray, are you all right? I'm fine.
I just needed a ride.
- And $2,000 bail.
- Which I will pay back.
Which you will pay back.
Anyway, you hurt? You hungry? Come on, the car's this way.
So, are you gonna tell us what happened? - It wasn't my fault.
- (chuckles) It's like he doesn't know who he's talking to.
I'm serious.
I was at a bar watching the Warriors, and this jackass got in my face.
That was a great game, huh? Sorry.
It was.
Come on, Ray, tell us what you did.
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, then just listen.
We're gonna go to our place, get you a shower, pour some coffee in you, and then we're going straight to a meeting.
Oh.
Tuesday meeting's the best.
(quietly): There's a celebrity in there.
I can't tell you who it is, but hint he's a successful magician.
Yeah.
I don't need a meeting.
We just got you out of jail.
Your cell phone is still in a Ziploc bag.
Look, I know I've been hitting it a little hard, and I'm gonna clean that up, - but I'm not doing AA.
- Why not? Well, for starters, I'm really not into the God stuff.
It doesn't have to be God.
You can make your higher power anything you want.
Yeah.
Mine's Oprah.
What can't she do? I know how to stop.
I've done it before.
Technically, if you stopped before, you haven't stopped.
- I'm just sayin'.
- Okay, my headache is getting worse.
Adam, is it okay if I crash at your place? - Um - And by "um," he means no.
Hey, I know you think you got my balls in your jewelry box, but I can speak for myself.
If the idea is that you're gonna get clean, then sure, you can stay with me.
Thanks, man.
(singsongy whisper): The rest of this drive is going to be awkward.
Hi.
I'm Christy, and I see you still have your menus, which means you haven't ordered, and I bet you're starving, so let's get this party started.
- Christy.
- Kind of busy here, Geoffrey.
These people have a serious case of the hungries.
Excuse us.
Your actual waitress will be right back.
You're late again, and you're fired.
I mean it.
You are super fired.
I thought I was pretty clear that that doesn't work for me.
Well, you know what doesn't work for me? You.
Leave.
(exhales) Fine.
I would normally sneak this out the back, but you leave me no choice.
Something on your mind, Bonnie? I just texted Adam to see how Ray's doing, - and he's not responding.
- Hey, give him time.
That is not how I roll, and he knows it.
It's just so frustrating For the first time in my life, I know what I'm talking about, and nobody is listening to me.
You can't force someone to go to meetings.
See? Right there, not my style.
Anything worth doing is worth forcing someone to do it.
That doesn't really make sense.
And yet if Marjorie said it, you'd tattoo it on your ass.
Hey.
Hey.
How come you're not at work? That part of my life is over.
- What? - Yeah.
Geoffrey fired me again.
And this time, it stuck.
No, no, no, no.
This wreaks havoc with our delicate ecosystem.
I'm roof, you're food.
I know.
I'm kind of freaking out.
Well, certainly, there's no shortage of restaurants in Napa.
You guys don't get it.
I am a terrible waitress, but I had tenure.
I could come and go as I please, I could bully the newbies into switching shifts with me, and I knew how many steaks I could sneak out in my pants.
Three to five, depending on the cut.
Cut of steak or cut of pants? Both factor in.
There's got to be a way out of this.
- What if you bang your manager? - Mom.
I'm sorry.
Make love to him.
Not an option.
How did this happen? My brother's an addict, my fiance’s an enabler, my daughter can't keep a job.
I'm so tired of being everybody's rock.
(phone chimes) Oh, my God.
Ooh, Ray and Adam went to the gym, and now they're having smoothies.
What the hell is going on? Who cares as long as Ray's staying sober? Yeah.
See? It's possible he found a different path.
Meh? Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.
Wow.
Sobriety without meetings.
Can you imagine how much free time we'd have? I could finally write my young adult novel.
I've got it all outlined in my head.
Teenage vampires fall in love, but then one of them gets cancer.
You're hooked, right? I don't want to say yes, but yes.
(phone chimes) Ugh.
Now those bastards are hitting a farmer's market.
No, we don't want blueberries.
Oh, come on.
Hey, Geoffrey, can't talk, really busy.
You don't work here.
Sure I do.
I got tables three, six, nine, 14, and a deuce over near the bar.
Hey, heads-up, she said her branzino was a little fishy.
We are not paying you.
That's fine.
I'll just work for tips.
Hey, stay out of my hair, I might even deal you in.
You leave or I'm calling the cops.
And how will that call go? "Oh, no.
A tiny woman wants to work in my restaurant for free.
Help me.
" This conversation is over.
Get out.
Excuse me.
Waitress? Ah, see? She called me "waitress.
" Customer's always right.
I-I-I get it, you're sorry.
No, no, no.
Let me do this.
(clears throat) I tried to force my will on this situation, which was wrong.
And Ray has clearly found his own path, which is great.
And you were just trying to help, which is also great.
(grunts) I'm sorry.
This is hard for me.
No kidding.
You sound like you're learning a second language.
I usually don't apologize.
I just pay the fine.
Well, it means a lot to me, and tell Marjorie I said thank you for making you do it.
Will do.
Oh, hey, Bonnie.
You guys are two hours away from the best French onion soup you have ever had.
I'm glad you're here.
I have to apologize.
Put that bag down, this takes a while.
Ray, I'm sorry I, uh, tried to force my will in this situation.
Oh, say no more.
Time to hug.
Oh.
(chuckles): Thank God.
Wish I knew that was an option.
I am so happy to hear you say that 'cause you're my sister, I'm your brother and we're all we got.
I mean, you got him, and he's my friend, so I guess I got him, too, and actually, he's gonna be my brother-in-law so we're all family.
We are family I got my white sister and me.
I love that song! Are we singin' or are we soupin'? Soup now, sing later.
We are making soup, uh (Ray continues vocalizing excitedly) You see what's going on here, right? Bonnie, I work in Hollywood, I know when someone's coked out of their mind.
(humming, laughing) So I found this rehab in Tennessee that has a bed, but they don't take the kind of insurance Ray has.
Wendy says she knows a place, but, you know, she also recommended that Korean barbecue that had us all in the bathroom for a week.
On the bright side, I finally got to read Lonesome Dove.
The other option is keep him with us and he can be treated as an outpatient.
What do you think? Well, what does he want? Well, he wants to keep getting high and make soup, so he doesn't get a vote.
Wait a minute, did he ask you for help? No, and I know what you're gonna say, but he needs help and I am the only one who can give it to him.
I-It's not gonna work.
It-it's going to work, because it has to.
- All I have to do is - Bonnie, you're making yourself crazy, and if you don't stop, you're gonna end up drinking long before you get him sober.
So w-what am I supposed to do? You have to let him go.
He's my brother.
I just found him.
I'm not gonna lose him.
I get it.
A-All I have to do - is convince him - Bonnie stop.
I just feel so helpless.
I know.
(Knocking) You wanted to see me? - This is her? - Yes.
This is Leo Raskel, our regional manager.
He's here today from corporate in Sacramento.
Look, I know I haven't exactly been the best employee and I'm not gonna stand here and tell you about the struggles I've faced as a recovering alcoholic with a dream of becoming a lawyer.
Okay.
What I am going to tell you is that I am your worst nightmare.
I have worked at this restaurant for 11 years, and I know where all the bodies are buried.
I know that your locally sourced, organic, grass-fed beef is only one of those things.
I know that several of our busboys live in the basement, along with assorted vermin.
And I know that we served the tip of Paul's finger in last week's ceviche.
I could go on, but, uh, I think I've painted a picture.
So, you fire me and all of this goes on Yelp.
Or you put me back on the books and, that nice, pretty four-and-a-half star rating stays right where it is.
Works for me.
See that, Geoffrey? That's how you make it to Sacramento.
Oh.
I might be a little late tomorrow.
We'll see how it goes.
Hey, Bonnie.
Hello.
So, um Adam kicked me out.
Yeah.
He told me.
What's the big deal? I got high once.
The big deal is you're an addict.
And your life is not gonna get better until you deal with it.
Can I stay here? Nope.
Seriously? What am I supposed to do? Sleep in my car? I've done it.
Little tip park at Walmart.
They won't kick you out.
Bonnie, I'm your brother.
I know and I love you.
There are a few announcements before we begin.
The community center has asked us not to smoke on the property, and not to park in the reserved spaces on the north side of the building.
I got your text.
You did the right thing.
It doesn't really feel like it.
I know.
Would you kick me out if I started using again? I did.
You just don't remember.
If it helps, I never thought you were gonna get sober, but you did.
Back at ya.
MEETING LEADER: Please take a moment to silence your cell phones and out of respect for the speaker How's Adam dealing with it? He turned it over to his higher power.
White Russian.
Keep 'em coming.
- Rough day? - Ugh.
Just this woman who works for me.
She's been busting my balls all week.
(door opens) I hear ya.
Bartender, put his drinks on my tab.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Who's your friend? - Ah, just another man with an ice pack down his shorts.
So, how you doin'? I'm okay, I just feel bad about Ray.
For what it's worth, it means a lot to me that you tried to help my brother.
I like the guy.
Think I'll get my two grand back? Mm, you're adorable.
- Mm.
(chuckles) - Tell you what, this round's on me.
He'll have another beer.
I'll take a Sprite.
Coming up.
Wait a minute.
Bonnie? Oh, my God.
Frankie, is that you? I heard you were dead.
Heard the same thing about you.
(laughs) - (laughs) - You used to drink in here? No.
Frankie and I spent a weekend in the hull of a ship and You know what? Story for another time.