Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e18 Episode Script
Brainy Jack
Gee, brain, What do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky, Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousy worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
Pinky: i'll never forget How the legend of brainy jack began.
Who would have thought a plan That would go so horribly wrong Would start out with several other Really horrible mistakes? Aaaah! Hurry, pinky! If we don't get to carly simon's house by 6:00, We'll never know if that song was about me.
Now, which way do i go? Um, go this much further, And then turn left at the giant lake made of coffee.
Zort! A lake made of coffee? That's a stain, you wifflebat! Oh.
Um, well then forget what i said About turning right at the corner Of hair clump and gum.
Pinky, your head isn't a fountain of knowledge, It's a dribble glass of stupidity.
Now, which way do i-- Aaaagh! Aaaah! Aaaah! [Tires squealing.]
Whoa! Whoa! Aaah! Aaah! Unh! Unh! Oof! Waah! Whee-Hee-Hee-Hee! Oh, that was fun, brain.
Like watching the academy awards, Only half as long, and far less painful.
Heh-Heh-Heh! Narf! Heh-Heh-Heh! Brain? Brain! Are you all right? Yes, fredo.
But why are you wearing that llama? Uhhh.
Brain, don't go back to sleep.
Who's going to help me get you back to the lab? Pork! Pork! Pork! No, no, wait, that's not it.
Oh, oh, oh, Help! Help! Help! for it's a-B-C what are we singin' for? Oh well i anyone remember? Ok, give me another protest song.
Waaaah! Help! My best friend is out cold In the middle of the road! help, my best friend is out cold in the middle of the-- Hey, man, that ain't no protest song.
What are you, the fuzz? Yeah, man.
You're the man, man.
Stop oppressing us, man.
Come on, guys, let's get out of here.
I'm gettin' bummed.
Wait, wait.
You can't leave! Aw, man, there goes johnny-Penal-Code again, Keeping me down with his "laws"! But my best friend brain is hurt and needs help! Hey, what do we look like, A bunch of liberal goodniks Who run around helping the common man With peace and love and harmony? [Whispering.]
Oh, yeah! Hey, cats, what say we help this brother? Right on! Come on! Yeah! [Guitar strumming.]
Pinky? What in the name of hippocrates' tainted tongs Is going on here?! Brain! You've woken from your week-Long slumber, Just like rip van patten! Zort! And you can walk again, And breathe by yourself again unhand hurt me again.
Pinky, i'm going to ask you this one time, And one time only: What is the original cast of godspell Doing in my lab? But, brain, they saved your life! This is howie, and sticky, And crowfeather, and--Mmphht! Ok, i'm going to ask you one more time.
Original cast godspell labwhy? Oh, oh, it was like this, Uhroller skate crash! Hurt! Hippies! Pork! No, nohelp! Fireman's carry dropoops pick uplab "put him over there!" "Let's dress him up!" Funny nose and face paint "hello, my name is brain, And i should be your stewardess.
" Ha ha ha ha! Funny, ha "hey, he doesn't look so good.
" "Yeah, maybe we should stop messing around.
" Ahehmmm poit? Well, it appears you long-Haired yahoos May have saved my life.
So thank you.
Now get out.
Hey! What are you doing over there? Get away from my equipment! Wow, man! A unified dynamic transponder! Did you build this yourself? Yes.
And perhaps if you applied yourself Instead of hanging around with your peacenik friends, You could learn to make something like this And become a useful member of society.
Hmmyou mean i could have a career In broadcasting? Stranger things have happened.
Now get out of my lab, all of you! But, brain, They can't leave! They've got nowhere else to go! Yeah, man! We were driven off our ranch By a bunch of uptight townsfolk Who hate us 'cause of our long hair And lack of proper grooming.
You mean to tell me These townsfolk don't like you Because of the way you look?! Thatjust makesmesnippy! You see, i, too, am a sort of outcast.
What are you, a republican? No a talking lab mouse.
Huh? Hmm? Well, whatever.
All i know is, we're not out to hurt anybody.
We're pacifists, man.
We just don't have a leader to protect us.
Yeah, moody mouse-Man.
All we want to do is get out there and change the world Through peace and understanding.
I also want to change the world, in a way.
I need a flock of followers to spread my message across the land! What message is that, brain? That you're the third gumbel brother? No, pinky.
My message that through peace and love and worshipping me, The world will be a better place to live.
We've been lookin' for someone like you.
Then heed my call, brothers and sisters! Go back to your musky homestead and await my arrival.
Pinky and i shall protect you from your tormentors, And together we shall take over the world! Huh? Huh? What? Uhi mean, uh, change the world For the good of all peoples! Hippies: yeah! Kumbaya! All: kumbaya! Kum-Bye-Bye! Oh, sorry, brain.
I just get misty whenever hippies leave.
Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain.
But tuesday weld isn't a complete sentence.
No, pinky.
I shall become brainy jack, Defender of hippies, gaining the trust and admiration Of young people everywhere, Thus earning the opportunity to use them, Like so many hygienically-Challenged hand tools, In my greatest plan yet! What plan is that, brain? Observe.
Unh! [Grunting.]
Here it is, pinky.
Plan 462-B, The amazing chain of electric teeth.
Naaaarf! Modern dentistry, pinky, has provided a boon To subliminal broadcasters everywhere.
Under the proper electrostatic conditions, The metal alloys in dental work can receive radio signals.
My plan is to get all of america's young people To link hands at a specific time, While my transponder is broadcasting A low-Frequency message of world domination.
Then, by rubbing my feet on a small square of herculon carpet, While simultaneously holding a doorknob, I will send a static electric charge Through this motley human chain, Causing them to receive my secret message on their dental work, So that they absorb it subliminally! Egad! Brilliant, brain! Oh, no, no, wait.
What if they don't have any dental work? Hippies are the spoiled children Of middle-Class families.
They all have dental work.
Oh, they're spoiled.
Troz.
Ha ha! That explains why they smell so funny! Whatever we think About the young people of today, pinky, They are the leaders of tomorrow.
We mustn't scorn them or shun them, But use them to take over the world! [Guitar strumming.]
Pinky: * listen, kiddies, to a fable * that's unfolding as we speak 'bout some stinky dirty hippies i tell ya, man, they really reek! far away in yonder village the evil townsfolk were so mean how they hate those smelly hippies 'cause townsfolk are squeaky clean! go ahead and be a meany go ahead and be a jerk chasin' after long-Haired hippies really ain't exactly work 'cause no one wants to hear you whinin' when we take over the world there's got to be a morning after ooooh! when brainy jack's plan is unfurled Shush, pinky.
We'll lose the element of surprise.
Zort.
Sorry, brain.
Here you go, son.
Give this freaknik a haircut.
Come on, man, let me go! I got laundry to do! You're a liar! You've never done laundry in your stinkin' life! I'm gonna give this tangled mess a prunin'! Maybe a gentle body wave With some chunky highlights.
Not again! go ahead and be a meany go ahead and be a jerk Pinky, i said, be quiet.
Oof! Poit! Sorry.
Brain: i sense you are trespassing, Here in the land of the long-Haired yahoo.
What in the cloudy pickle jar are you? I am a mysterious lab mouse, The voice of a generation.
My name is brainy jack! And this is my apprentice-- Pinky steve! Yes.
And we are-- Pinky steve? Copycat.
Nuh-Uh! I came up with that in barstow Right after we bought those sweaters.
Maybe you don't recognize me.
My name's posie, As in "councilman posie," As in "i'm-The-Richest-Man in-The-County posie.
" As in "pocket full of posie".
Well, then ashes, ashes, we all fall down! Hoo-Ha-Ha, ha-Ha-Ha! Ha-Ha-Ha.
Poit.
I don't care who you are.
You're harming the hippie in his natural habitat.
And that isn't very groovy.
I don't have to listen to your hippie-Dippy gobbledygook.
You don't scare me none.
Oh, yeah? What if i were to tell you that the town theater Is about to run a jane fonda film festival? Jane fonda! Not while i'm councilman.
Come on! Yeah! Let's go! Yee-Haw! You haven't heard the last of us! We'll be back to settle the score! [Cheering.]
Thanks, brainy jack! Wait, Where are you going? I want to see that jane fonda film festival.
Yeah! Me, too! Right on! It's a chance to wear our new sweaters in public.
But i need your help! What for, man? I need you to tap into your hippie love network And get all your friends to join hands with me And spread my message of world domination! What's all this world domination stuff, anyway? I mean, um, Dominating the world with a message of peace, love, and, uh, Joy to the fishy-Wishies in the big blue sea! Oh, brain, you really know where the kids are at.
Besides, haven't i proven my good intentions? No, man.
There's only one way To prove yourself in our eyes.
You'll have to do the snake dance.
It's an old native american ritual.
You dance with a snake And channel ancient spirits.
I have to dance? Now, remember, pinky, This ceremony is supposed to convince these groovy-Ghoulies That i possess mystical powers.
[Grunting.]
but, brain, I can't move in this snake costume.
Unh, i'm not as sinewy as i used to be.
Zort! Look, it's so rudimentary.
Scrunch and push.
Scrunch and push.
[Grunting.]
No, that's not a scrunch, that's a shimmy.
Hippies: brainy jack! Brainy jack! That's my cue.
Remember, pinky, if you forget how to act like a snake, Pretend you're my agent.
Hippies: brainy jack! Brainy jack! Wait, brain.
Narf! I can't keep up! [Grunting.]
Whooooah! [Hissing.]
Oof! Zort! Now i'll never get the deposit back on this costume! Hear me, brothers and sisters.
Today i face the spooky snake of the spirits.
Oooooh! And to prove i am your true leader, The ancient voices will speak through me! [Hissing.]
Perfect, pinky.
Your similarities to a real snake Are more convincing than charles grodin's hairpiece! Sssschomp! Ow! What are you doing, pinky? Like fine fruit, i bruise easily.
Sssschomp! Ow! Cut it out! Look! He's about to channel ancient spirits! I feel strange, pinky.
Sort of warm and cozy full ofhope.
[Imitating bob hope.]
hey, hi, boys! Hey, this is bob "snake in-The grass" hope.
Hey, but i want to tell you, It's great to be here in makalakahaka! Yeah, that's native apache talk for "just north of phoenix".
Hey, how about that brooke shields? I'd like to keep her wigwam! Ha ha! Girrl! Huh? What's he doin' now? I can't get my mojo working.
Hey, hey, hey, no, no, no.
And i'm climbing a stairway with kevin.
I don't know.
Sounds like henry kissinger at a rock concert.
Uh, i don't feel so good.
Mmmmuhhhohhh.
What's wrong with him, man? It's the snake venom! Oooh! I'm a scary snake! Waooh! Hiss! Brain? Ooh! What's wrong with him? Is he all right? Howie: wow, man! You passed the test! Yeah! We'll do anything you say now.
Then make me some fresh oatmeal.
I'm getting clammy.
And no raisins this time! Narf! You were so brave! The snake bit you, and you just kept right on talking! Grrrrrrr [Imitating bob hope.]
yeah, boy.
I tell you, i'm used to tough houses.
Yeah, i played cleveland, you know.
Aaah! I'm having a relapse.
Oooh! Hee-Hee-Hee.
Oh, that's wonderful, brain! Do yogi bear again.
Thank you, pinky.
I'm glad you're entertained by my near-Death experience.
Now, then.
As soon as the poisons are leeched from my body, We will proceed with my plan.
At precisely 12 noon on thursday, All the impressionable hippie youth of america will join hands, Forming a great human peace chain From sea to shining sea! Sort of like a big cable.
Hmmm, a network in the shape of a cable, Spreadin' the news! Now, go forth! Tell idle hippies everywhere To drop whatever they're not doing And hie themselves hither! Sticky: fresh oatmeal! Brain: aaaaagghhh! Pinky: and so, the legend of brainy jack Spread far and wide throughout the land, Near and far, hither and yon, To and fro, back and forth, Upstairs and downstairs and in my lady's chamber.
Any hippies here? Is creedence on yet? Come join our peace chain.
Hey, is there gonna be food? Pinky: it was almost as if all the hippies were coming together And joining hands.
Or--Or something.
Poit.
Brain: Turn on the transponder, pinky! Narf! Brain: hear me, youth of america! You will all swear your allegiance to-- Announcer: the wall street report! The latest stock prices all the time! I swear my allegiance to wall street! I must become a stockbroker.
I must worship the almighty dollar.
Pinky! Someone overrode my broadcast With a stronger signal! We failed! Yaaaahh! Oof! Hey, brainy jack.
I took your advice and built my own transponder! What? Are you transpondering what i'm transpondering? I don't think so, brainy jack.
I just launched the first all-News network.
Isn't it cool? Well, i'm off to atlanta.
I'm going to be famous.
Might even get to meet that jane fonda.
Well, i suppose we weren't a total failure.
At least that young man will amount to something.
What was his name? Mmm ted something, i think.
Didn't anyone hear your message, brain? Well, according to my calculations, In order to pick up my signal without interference, A person would have had to have been Less than 20 feet from the transponder, Wearing some sort of protective eyewear.
Like really dark glasses? Together: we swear our allegiance to brain! Nowexplain it to me again, brain.
Interference from the stronger carrier signal Created an echo effect, Magnifying the fractal structures of the wave amplitude, Which reconfigured the hertz Within the tall rock formations of the mesa, When exposed to sunspots and a small nearby armadillo.
Now, explain it to me again, brain.
The radio thingy went all wonky.
Oh.
So that's why the hippies became stockbrokers? Yes.
And why councilman posie and his son became hippies? Precisely.
And why the osmonds got their own tv show? Pinky, there are some things even physics can't explain.
Is there anything certain in the universe, brain? Only that you and i must return to the lab And prepare for tomorrow night.
Why, brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night? The same thing we do every night, pinky try to take over the world! Pinky: * one of them's a little dippy * one of them's sharp as a tack they're a pair of talking lab mice they're dinky they're pinky and brainy jack jack, jack, jack, jack warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousy worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
Pinky: i'll never forget How the legend of brainy jack began.
Who would have thought a plan That would go so horribly wrong Would start out with several other Really horrible mistakes? Aaaah! Hurry, pinky! If we don't get to carly simon's house by 6:00, We'll never know if that song was about me.
Now, which way do i go? Um, go this much further, And then turn left at the giant lake made of coffee.
Zort! A lake made of coffee? That's a stain, you wifflebat! Oh.
Um, well then forget what i said About turning right at the corner Of hair clump and gum.
Pinky, your head isn't a fountain of knowledge, It's a dribble glass of stupidity.
Now, which way do i-- Aaaagh! Aaaah! Aaaah! [Tires squealing.]
Whoa! Whoa! Aaah! Aaah! Unh! Unh! Oof! Waah! Whee-Hee-Hee-Hee! Oh, that was fun, brain.
Like watching the academy awards, Only half as long, and far less painful.
Heh-Heh-Heh! Narf! Heh-Heh-Heh! Brain? Brain! Are you all right? Yes, fredo.
But why are you wearing that llama? Uhhh.
Brain, don't go back to sleep.
Who's going to help me get you back to the lab? Pork! Pork! Pork! No, no, wait, that's not it.
Oh, oh, oh, Help! Help! Help! for it's a-B-C what are we singin' for? Oh well i anyone remember? Ok, give me another protest song.
Waaaah! Help! My best friend is out cold In the middle of the road! help, my best friend is out cold in the middle of the-- Hey, man, that ain't no protest song.
What are you, the fuzz? Yeah, man.
You're the man, man.
Stop oppressing us, man.
Come on, guys, let's get out of here.
I'm gettin' bummed.
Wait, wait.
You can't leave! Aw, man, there goes johnny-Penal-Code again, Keeping me down with his "laws"! But my best friend brain is hurt and needs help! Hey, what do we look like, A bunch of liberal goodniks Who run around helping the common man With peace and love and harmony? [Whispering.]
Oh, yeah! Hey, cats, what say we help this brother? Right on! Come on! Yeah! [Guitar strumming.]
Pinky? What in the name of hippocrates' tainted tongs Is going on here?! Brain! You've woken from your week-Long slumber, Just like rip van patten! Zort! And you can walk again, And breathe by yourself again unhand hurt me again.
Pinky, i'm going to ask you this one time, And one time only: What is the original cast of godspell Doing in my lab? But, brain, they saved your life! This is howie, and sticky, And crowfeather, and--Mmphht! Ok, i'm going to ask you one more time.
Original cast godspell labwhy? Oh, oh, it was like this, Uhroller skate crash! Hurt! Hippies! Pork! No, nohelp! Fireman's carry dropoops pick uplab "put him over there!" "Let's dress him up!" Funny nose and face paint "hello, my name is brain, And i should be your stewardess.
" Ha ha ha ha! Funny, ha "hey, he doesn't look so good.
" "Yeah, maybe we should stop messing around.
" Ahehmmm poit? Well, it appears you long-Haired yahoos May have saved my life.
So thank you.
Now get out.
Hey! What are you doing over there? Get away from my equipment! Wow, man! A unified dynamic transponder! Did you build this yourself? Yes.
And perhaps if you applied yourself Instead of hanging around with your peacenik friends, You could learn to make something like this And become a useful member of society.
Hmmyou mean i could have a career In broadcasting? Stranger things have happened.
Now get out of my lab, all of you! But, brain, They can't leave! They've got nowhere else to go! Yeah, man! We were driven off our ranch By a bunch of uptight townsfolk Who hate us 'cause of our long hair And lack of proper grooming.
You mean to tell me These townsfolk don't like you Because of the way you look?! Thatjust makesmesnippy! You see, i, too, am a sort of outcast.
What are you, a republican? No a talking lab mouse.
Huh? Hmm? Well, whatever.
All i know is, we're not out to hurt anybody.
We're pacifists, man.
We just don't have a leader to protect us.
Yeah, moody mouse-Man.
All we want to do is get out there and change the world Through peace and understanding.
I also want to change the world, in a way.
I need a flock of followers to spread my message across the land! What message is that, brain? That you're the third gumbel brother? No, pinky.
My message that through peace and love and worshipping me, The world will be a better place to live.
We've been lookin' for someone like you.
Then heed my call, brothers and sisters! Go back to your musky homestead and await my arrival.
Pinky and i shall protect you from your tormentors, And together we shall take over the world! Huh? Huh? What? Uhi mean, uh, change the world For the good of all peoples! Hippies: yeah! Kumbaya! All: kumbaya! Kum-Bye-Bye! Oh, sorry, brain.
I just get misty whenever hippies leave.
Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain.
But tuesday weld isn't a complete sentence.
No, pinky.
I shall become brainy jack, Defender of hippies, gaining the trust and admiration Of young people everywhere, Thus earning the opportunity to use them, Like so many hygienically-Challenged hand tools, In my greatest plan yet! What plan is that, brain? Observe.
Unh! [Grunting.]
Here it is, pinky.
Plan 462-B, The amazing chain of electric teeth.
Naaaarf! Modern dentistry, pinky, has provided a boon To subliminal broadcasters everywhere.
Under the proper electrostatic conditions, The metal alloys in dental work can receive radio signals.
My plan is to get all of america's young people To link hands at a specific time, While my transponder is broadcasting A low-Frequency message of world domination.
Then, by rubbing my feet on a small square of herculon carpet, While simultaneously holding a doorknob, I will send a static electric charge Through this motley human chain, Causing them to receive my secret message on their dental work, So that they absorb it subliminally! Egad! Brilliant, brain! Oh, no, no, wait.
What if they don't have any dental work? Hippies are the spoiled children Of middle-Class families.
They all have dental work.
Oh, they're spoiled.
Troz.
Ha ha! That explains why they smell so funny! Whatever we think About the young people of today, pinky, They are the leaders of tomorrow.
We mustn't scorn them or shun them, But use them to take over the world! [Guitar strumming.]
Pinky: * listen, kiddies, to a fable * that's unfolding as we speak 'bout some stinky dirty hippies i tell ya, man, they really reek! far away in yonder village the evil townsfolk were so mean how they hate those smelly hippies 'cause townsfolk are squeaky clean! go ahead and be a meany go ahead and be a jerk chasin' after long-Haired hippies really ain't exactly work 'cause no one wants to hear you whinin' when we take over the world there's got to be a morning after ooooh! when brainy jack's plan is unfurled Shush, pinky.
We'll lose the element of surprise.
Zort.
Sorry, brain.
Here you go, son.
Give this freaknik a haircut.
Come on, man, let me go! I got laundry to do! You're a liar! You've never done laundry in your stinkin' life! I'm gonna give this tangled mess a prunin'! Maybe a gentle body wave With some chunky highlights.
Not again! go ahead and be a meany go ahead and be a jerk Pinky, i said, be quiet.
Oof! Poit! Sorry.
Brain: i sense you are trespassing, Here in the land of the long-Haired yahoo.
What in the cloudy pickle jar are you? I am a mysterious lab mouse, The voice of a generation.
My name is brainy jack! And this is my apprentice-- Pinky steve! Yes.
And we are-- Pinky steve? Copycat.
Nuh-Uh! I came up with that in barstow Right after we bought those sweaters.
Maybe you don't recognize me.
My name's posie, As in "councilman posie," As in "i'm-The-Richest-Man in-The-County posie.
" As in "pocket full of posie".
Well, then ashes, ashes, we all fall down! Hoo-Ha-Ha, ha-Ha-Ha! Ha-Ha-Ha.
Poit.
I don't care who you are.
You're harming the hippie in his natural habitat.
And that isn't very groovy.
I don't have to listen to your hippie-Dippy gobbledygook.
You don't scare me none.
Oh, yeah? What if i were to tell you that the town theater Is about to run a jane fonda film festival? Jane fonda! Not while i'm councilman.
Come on! Yeah! Let's go! Yee-Haw! You haven't heard the last of us! We'll be back to settle the score! [Cheering.]
Thanks, brainy jack! Wait, Where are you going? I want to see that jane fonda film festival.
Yeah! Me, too! Right on! It's a chance to wear our new sweaters in public.
But i need your help! What for, man? I need you to tap into your hippie love network And get all your friends to join hands with me And spread my message of world domination! What's all this world domination stuff, anyway? I mean, um, Dominating the world with a message of peace, love, and, uh, Joy to the fishy-Wishies in the big blue sea! Oh, brain, you really know where the kids are at.
Besides, haven't i proven my good intentions? No, man.
There's only one way To prove yourself in our eyes.
You'll have to do the snake dance.
It's an old native american ritual.
You dance with a snake And channel ancient spirits.
I have to dance? Now, remember, pinky, This ceremony is supposed to convince these groovy-Ghoulies That i possess mystical powers.
[Grunting.]
but, brain, I can't move in this snake costume.
Unh, i'm not as sinewy as i used to be.
Zort! Look, it's so rudimentary.
Scrunch and push.
Scrunch and push.
[Grunting.]
No, that's not a scrunch, that's a shimmy.
Hippies: brainy jack! Brainy jack! That's my cue.
Remember, pinky, if you forget how to act like a snake, Pretend you're my agent.
Hippies: brainy jack! Brainy jack! Wait, brain.
Narf! I can't keep up! [Grunting.]
Whooooah! [Hissing.]
Oof! Zort! Now i'll never get the deposit back on this costume! Hear me, brothers and sisters.
Today i face the spooky snake of the spirits.
Oooooh! And to prove i am your true leader, The ancient voices will speak through me! [Hissing.]
Perfect, pinky.
Your similarities to a real snake Are more convincing than charles grodin's hairpiece! Sssschomp! Ow! What are you doing, pinky? Like fine fruit, i bruise easily.
Sssschomp! Ow! Cut it out! Look! He's about to channel ancient spirits! I feel strange, pinky.
Sort of warm and cozy full ofhope.
[Imitating bob hope.]
hey, hi, boys! Hey, this is bob "snake in-The grass" hope.
Hey, but i want to tell you, It's great to be here in makalakahaka! Yeah, that's native apache talk for "just north of phoenix".
Hey, how about that brooke shields? I'd like to keep her wigwam! Ha ha! Girrl! Huh? What's he doin' now? I can't get my mojo working.
Hey, hey, hey, no, no, no.
And i'm climbing a stairway with kevin.
I don't know.
Sounds like henry kissinger at a rock concert.
Uh, i don't feel so good.
Mmmmuhhhohhh.
What's wrong with him, man? It's the snake venom! Oooh! I'm a scary snake! Waooh! Hiss! Brain? Ooh! What's wrong with him? Is he all right? Howie: wow, man! You passed the test! Yeah! We'll do anything you say now.
Then make me some fresh oatmeal.
I'm getting clammy.
And no raisins this time! Narf! You were so brave! The snake bit you, and you just kept right on talking! Grrrrrrr [Imitating bob hope.]
yeah, boy.
I tell you, i'm used to tough houses.
Yeah, i played cleveland, you know.
Aaah! I'm having a relapse.
Oooh! Hee-Hee-Hee.
Oh, that's wonderful, brain! Do yogi bear again.
Thank you, pinky.
I'm glad you're entertained by my near-Death experience.
Now, then.
As soon as the poisons are leeched from my body, We will proceed with my plan.
At precisely 12 noon on thursday, All the impressionable hippie youth of america will join hands, Forming a great human peace chain From sea to shining sea! Sort of like a big cable.
Hmmm, a network in the shape of a cable, Spreadin' the news! Now, go forth! Tell idle hippies everywhere To drop whatever they're not doing And hie themselves hither! Sticky: fresh oatmeal! Brain: aaaaagghhh! Pinky: and so, the legend of brainy jack Spread far and wide throughout the land, Near and far, hither and yon, To and fro, back and forth, Upstairs and downstairs and in my lady's chamber.
Any hippies here? Is creedence on yet? Come join our peace chain.
Hey, is there gonna be food? Pinky: it was almost as if all the hippies were coming together And joining hands.
Or--Or something.
Poit.
Brain: Turn on the transponder, pinky! Narf! Brain: hear me, youth of america! You will all swear your allegiance to-- Announcer: the wall street report! The latest stock prices all the time! I swear my allegiance to wall street! I must become a stockbroker.
I must worship the almighty dollar.
Pinky! Someone overrode my broadcast With a stronger signal! We failed! Yaaaahh! Oof! Hey, brainy jack.
I took your advice and built my own transponder! What? Are you transpondering what i'm transpondering? I don't think so, brainy jack.
I just launched the first all-News network.
Isn't it cool? Well, i'm off to atlanta.
I'm going to be famous.
Might even get to meet that jane fonda.
Well, i suppose we weren't a total failure.
At least that young man will amount to something.
What was his name? Mmm ted something, i think.
Didn't anyone hear your message, brain? Well, according to my calculations, In order to pick up my signal without interference, A person would have had to have been Less than 20 feet from the transponder, Wearing some sort of protective eyewear.
Like really dark glasses? Together: we swear our allegiance to brain! Nowexplain it to me again, brain.
Interference from the stronger carrier signal Created an echo effect, Magnifying the fractal structures of the wave amplitude, Which reconfigured the hertz Within the tall rock formations of the mesa, When exposed to sunspots and a small nearby armadillo.
Now, explain it to me again, brain.
The radio thingy went all wonky.
Oh.
So that's why the hippies became stockbrokers? Yes.
And why councilman posie and his son became hippies? Precisely.
And why the osmonds got their own tv show? Pinky, there are some things even physics can't explain.
Is there anything certain in the universe, brain? Only that you and i must return to the lab And prepare for tomorrow night.
Why, brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night? The same thing we do every night, pinky try to take over the world! Pinky: * one of them's a little dippy * one of them's sharp as a tack they're a pair of talking lab mice they're dinky they're pinky and brainy jack jack, jack, jack, jack warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--