Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e32 Episode Script
Whatever Happened To Baby Brain
Gee, brain, What do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky, Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
Oh, daddy, i don't care if you lost all our money In the mean, old stock market.
You're still the bestest daddy in the whole world.
Trudy, dear, i'm very lucky to have you as a daughter.
Give your father a great big hug.
Oh! Mother of-- Cut! I barely touched 'im.
Can'tfeellegs.
Trudy, trudy, i hate to say it, But you're just too old to play a kid anymore.
Ah, maybe you're right.
I was getting tired of having To shave my legs [Sighs.]
Without trudy's simple movies To lift america's spirit, How will we ever get through the depression? Apples, 5 cents.
Potatoes, 5 cents.
Failed plans for world domination, Plan for world domination, sir? Only slightly used! Drat! Not one sale.
How am i ever going to raise the money for my latest plan? Narf! I'm doing well, brain.
Smelly, dried-Up, old baloney, one cent! Get 'em while they're still, um old and smelly! Old baloney.
Why on earth is anyone buying old baloney? Well, it's a fair price, brain.
Is this enough for your new plan thingie? Narf! There isn't enough smelly, dried-Up, old baloney in the world To pay for my plan, pinky.
I need $2 million.
Ahh, too bad.
Ah! Wait! Poit! If i charge $750,000 each, I'd only have to sell 2 1/2 slices, brain.
Why not charge $2 million For a slice of smelly, old, dried-Up baloney, pinky? Then we'd only have to sell one.
Oh, silly willy brain, Why would anyone pay $2 million For a slice of smelly, old, dried-Up baloney my point exactly.
When you can get them for the amazingly low price of 750,000? Now i know why they call it the depression.
Extry! Extry! Trudy simple fired! Hollywood seeks new child star! Extry! Extry! Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain.
But if we have nothing to fear but fear itself, Why does eleanor roosevelt wear that spooky mask? No, pinky.
I will take little trudy simple's place As america's favorite child star.
Oh, yes, brain! Oh, wait, no.
Sorry.
Um, there's a problem.
Trudy simple is adorable.
Are you saying that i'm not adorable, pinky? Well, yeah--Well, no-- Maybe if i squint very hard And make everything very blurry i--Narf! Uh Oh, yes.
That's it.
How is the work going on my sailor suit, pinky? Oh, good, brain.
Little lord wetbottom didn't want to give me his clothes at first, But i taught him all about sharing.
Excellent.
We must spend every waking moment Preparing for my plan.
Right, brain.
Um, may i read the funny pages when you're done with them? These aren't the funny pages, pinky.
They're the product of hours of research I've spent unlocking the mystery of cuteness.
Cuteness? Yes.
I'm quantifying the physical attributes Of the world's cutest living things-- The wide-Eyed innocence of the newborn baby the insouciant charm of the frisky puppy the huggable gruffness of new york mayor fiorello la guardia.
But, brain, Um, you don't look like any of them.
Well, maybe the doggy, Especially when you're asleep, And your tongue's-- Ahwha uhh! Um, where are we going, brain? Over here, pinky.
I have laid out the ingredients For my cuteness makeover.
Altering my appearance using these items Will make it mathematically impossible For hollywood producers not to find me adorable.
Oh, fun, brain.
And when you're done playing dress-Up, Can we play horsey? This is science, pinky.
Observe.
Contact lenses to enlarge my eyes And elicit the audience's protective instinct, Fake dimples to augment cheek pinchability [crunch.]
Blond curls perfectly calibrated to-- Well, actually, i just sort of like them.
So, pinky, what do you think? Um, i think you've concentrated a great deal on surface appearances Without really honing your theatrical abilities.
Perfect! Come, pinky, i'm ready for hollywood.
Here we are, pinky, schwab's drugstore, Where many of hollywood's legendary stars are discovered.
Any second now, a producer will discover me And ask me to star in his next film.
How can you tell which ones are the producers, brain? Simple, pinky.
They're the ones buying the ulcer medication.
Ahh! [Slurp.]
Oh, i do hope they discover you soon, brain.
I'm getting hungry, And we don't have any money.
You're forgetting, pinky.
I'm adorable.
Adorable people don't need money.
Watch closely.
Excuse me, mr.
Nice man, But could you spare some money-Wunny for my friend and i-- Both: aah! Godfrey daniels! What miserably annoying little mendicants.
Aah! Aah! Of course there will be those rare freaks of nature Who will remain impervious to my charms.
[Crying.]
pinky, stop that crying immediately.
I can't help it, brain.
It's the onions.
"Your father is weak.
"He was weak when i met him, he's weak now, And he'll be weak tomorrow.
" [Bette davis' voice.]
"no, mommy dearest, Daddy's a good man.
Ever so good.
" "Perhaps, you're right.
"Nevertheless, he's broke, "And we're leaving him.
"By the way, i traded in your cat bitzie For a wooden coat hanger this morning.
" "Oh, mommy dearest.
Wah-Ha ha ha!" Cut.
Thank you, miss benzeweinger.
But there's another page.
Director: thank you.
I'll show you.
I'll show you all.
Another stinker.
We still haven't found the next trudy simple.
But, f.
L.
, we've seen every 5-Year-Old central casting has.
I don't want central casting.
I want real.
I want a kid with heart.
I want a kid who knows what suffering is.
I want boo-Hoo! Wah! Wah! That kid! [Door opens and closes.]
"It is a beautiful coat hanger, mommy dearest.
"You were right to trade bitzie.
You're the smartest, bestest mother in the whole world.
" Fantastic! Stupendous! I mean, uh, heh did you like her, miss crawford? You can't be serious! She's stiff, she's amateurish, She's-- She's the most adorable creature i've ever seen.
I knew it! You're our girl! You are a girl, aren't you? Actually, i'm a lab mouse intent on taking over the world.
Ha! Great! Und she does comedy, too.
Give me the studio chief.
Irving, this is fritz.
We have our star.
America's sweetheart little baby brain.
Miss brain, we're prepared to offer you a 3-Picture deal And $1 million.
I'll need 2 million.
What? Why, you juvenile dillinger! I oughta pinch your widdle cheeks, you little munchkin.
All right, 2 it is.
Now, all i need is for you To give this contract to one of your parents to sign.
Uhparents? Well, yes.
We can't expect a 5-Year-Old To understand all the big law words, can we? No, of course not.
Ah, mother pinky! Did you call me, brain? Meet irving thyroid, The head of zenith pictures, Uhmommy.
A sincere pleasure.
You should be very proud.
Oh, it's nothing, really.
There's a whole stack of lovely hats Next to the water cooler in the next room.
Oh.
No.
I mean of your daughter here.
Daughter? Yes, pinky.
You're my mother, and i'm your daughter.
Brain, is it really true? Oh! This is the happiest day of my life! I've always wanted a little girl.
Oh, dear, i think i'm going to cry.
Poit! Ah-Pffft! Pinky--Er--Mommy, no! I'm sorry, mr.
Thyroid.
Mommy gets emotional.
Uh, yeah.
That's ok, dear.
We'll write up a new contract And messenger it this afternoon.
Come, pinky, The nice man has work to do.
Bye-Bye, irvy-Wurvy.
What a cutie! [Crunch.]
uhh.
Uhh! Ah! Eh! This is hooda hepper on hollywood.
Tinsel town is a-Buzz over pint-Sized newcomer To our celebrity fold little baby brain, America's sweetheart.
Here the tiny toe-Tapper is seen taking her mother pinky To the premiere of her screen debut.
At a time when our young people Seem to have forgotten the phrase, "Respect your elders," Isn't it nice to see a child dote on her mother so? This has been hooda hepper with hepper on hollywood.
Pinky: soup's on! I'm not hungry, pinky.
Oh, but this is your favorite, brain, cream of cream Anyway, i don't have time to eat.
I'm due back on the set in 3 minutes.
Well, eat something, brain.
There are starving children at mgm.
No time, pinky.
No time.
The studio is pushing To make me their number one child star! Well, here.
Wear a hat.
I don't need a hat.
But, brain, it's chilly out.
And don't talk to strangers! Oh! Ooh! Ah! They grow up so fast.
on the nice boat candy cane it's a short trip to dental pain 'cause everything's sweet lots of candy things for children to eat try the caramel chairs get your fill be a candidate for the dentist's drill on marmalade seas you're a cinch for painful gum disease Chorus: * oh, the anchor is made * with a licorice braid you can bet that nothin's low-Cal if you eat too much uh-Oh [Drilling.]
better make time for a root canal on the nice boat candy cane better bring your novocain till then, i say everyone aboard for tooth decay A limousine has pulled up.
This could be the moment we've been waiting for.
Yes, indeed, it's little baby brain, Looking cute as a button.
And, now, her escort for the evening film star rickey mooney.
Oh, don't they make an adorable couple? Grrr! So, goldilocks, what's say me and you ditch this dump And take a long, romantic drive? I thought this was just a publicity date.
Oh, but, baby, i want you to be my best girl! I'm afraid that's impossible.
I'm only 2 years old.
Oh, boy, you're tall for your age! Hey, ava, it's me--Rickey.
Wait up! Wha! Oh! Yah ha! Back.
Back, you animals.
These people are savages.
Yes, cannibals gorging themselves on the red meat of celebrity.
Bloodthirsty huns scavenging the field of battle.
Yes.
Both: things will be different When i take over the world.
Welles, orson.
Brain the.
Pinky, i'm home.
Oh, there you are, brain.
Poit! I was worried sick.
I was at a publicity party, pinky.
I told you i'd be late.
Well, you could have at least called.
Your dinner is stone cold, of course.
I already ate at the puce fedora.
Pinky, what's gotten into you? Well, i'm sorry, brain.
Ever since you fell in with this-- This hollywood crowd, It seems like you don't have time for your own mother.
Pinky, you're not my mother.
Ohohh! How can you say that After all i've done for you? Listen, maybe you didn't grow up rich Like all your fancy new friends, But i always put food pellets on the table! Zort! Listen to me, pinky.
You're not my mother.
I just said you were my mother So they'd let me work in the movies.
You know, you wouldn't treat me this way If i weren't a genetically altered lab mouse! But you are, pinky.
You are a genetically altered lab mouse.
Now, repeat after me.
I am not your mother.
I am not your muh mother.
Good.
Tsk! Hmm hmm hmm.
So headstrong.
You get that from your father.
Uhh! [Click.]
Mr.
Thyroid, little baby brain and her mother Are here to see you.
Go right in, ladies.
What do you think he wants to tell us, brain? He obviously wants me to sign on for more films, pinky.
He'll be devastated when i tell him i'm retiring.
Ladies, come in, have a seat.
I was just reading this morning's paper.
Well, don't let us interrupt you.
Actually, you might be interested In hooda hepper's column today.
Let me read it to you.
Uh, yadda yadda yadda, blahdee blah.
Oh, crisp style.
"Sources report "Seeing miss brain "Raise her hand to her own mother "Inside their trailer friday night, "Insisting to the distraught woman "That they were not related.
"And if you think that's ugly, "Take a gander at these exclusive photos "Showing little baby brain without the wig and dimples That suckered this reporter into branding her america's sweetheart.
" Well? Anything to say for yourselves? Yes.
What's a 5-Letter word for tree fungus? Get out! Um, no.
That's 6 letters.
Narf! Hold on.
I believe you owe me $2 million.
Ha! You can't touch that money for years.
What? That's right.
Your mother signed contracts Placing your earnings in trust for you until you're 21.
Maybe by then you'll appreciate What this woman's done for you.
Pinky, is this true? Yes, brain.
I just want you to have the opportunities i never had.
Think of it-- You'll be the first in our family to go to college.
And the first in our family to go to sing sing For doing you grievous bodily harm! Come, pinky.
If we leave now, We can be home by tomorrow night.
Why? What we doing tomorrow night, brain? Putting me up for adoption, And then trying to take over the-- Ah ah ah ah ah! Hold the door for a lady, dear.
Yes, mother.
And don't mumble.
Yes, mother.
And stand up straight.
Yes, mother.
they're pinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain, brain [Sighs.]
You look sad, brain.
Perhaps a little.
Just taking in the night, pinky.
So vast are the heavens, this starry canopy.
To contemplate the endless nature of the universe Is to acknowledge one's own insignificance.
It's really dark, too, With little sparkly things.
Narf! Sometimes it seems so burdensome, So feckless.
Yes.
It's completely without feck.
Words have no meaning.
I'm left speechless.
I--I don't know what to say.
I always know what to say, brain.
Wha ha ha! just say narf just say narf when you aim to exclaim, just say narf Yes.
Always.
Aah! doesn't make a difference if you shout or sing it doesn't mean anything just say zort just say poit wear a hat, kiss a fish call detroit hello.
now, you may be a mouse who thinks that life isn't fair you get up in the wheel but you don't go anywhere at least you didn't end up bein' married to cher just say narf, just say narf just say narf Oh, yes.
It's obviously been some delusion 'Caused by a combination of iron deficiency And a subconscious fear of nincompoops.
Ha ha ha! Aah! just say narf just say narf It isn't even a word.
Ow! it's right here in roget's just say narf so what if the numbers Don't make sense on a chart? * who said you've gotta be smart? paint your nose chill some flan and remember to pregrease the pan a narf cannot explain old newton's gravity laws it's absolutely useless on linoleum floors it isn't the solution but it's sure not the cause just say narf, just say narf, just say narf [Music continues.]
just say narf just say narf just say narf Get down from there, pinky.
Only if you say narf, brain.
I am not going to utter that nonsensical syllable, pinky.
Aah! just say narf just say narf just say narf See how simple it is, brain? You mean, how simple you are.
Oh, all right.
Narf.
There, i said it.
Are you happy? Don't you feel so much better now, brain? As a matter of fact no! Narf! warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
Oh, daddy, i don't care if you lost all our money In the mean, old stock market.
You're still the bestest daddy in the whole world.
Trudy, dear, i'm very lucky to have you as a daughter.
Give your father a great big hug.
Oh! Mother of-- Cut! I barely touched 'im.
Can'tfeellegs.
Trudy, trudy, i hate to say it, But you're just too old to play a kid anymore.
Ah, maybe you're right.
I was getting tired of having To shave my legs [Sighs.]
Without trudy's simple movies To lift america's spirit, How will we ever get through the depression? Apples, 5 cents.
Potatoes, 5 cents.
Failed plans for world domination, Plan for world domination, sir? Only slightly used! Drat! Not one sale.
How am i ever going to raise the money for my latest plan? Narf! I'm doing well, brain.
Smelly, dried-Up, old baloney, one cent! Get 'em while they're still, um old and smelly! Old baloney.
Why on earth is anyone buying old baloney? Well, it's a fair price, brain.
Is this enough for your new plan thingie? Narf! There isn't enough smelly, dried-Up, old baloney in the world To pay for my plan, pinky.
I need $2 million.
Ahh, too bad.
Ah! Wait! Poit! If i charge $750,000 each, I'd only have to sell 2 1/2 slices, brain.
Why not charge $2 million For a slice of smelly, old, dried-Up baloney, pinky? Then we'd only have to sell one.
Oh, silly willy brain, Why would anyone pay $2 million For a slice of smelly, old, dried-Up baloney my point exactly.
When you can get them for the amazingly low price of 750,000? Now i know why they call it the depression.
Extry! Extry! Trudy simple fired! Hollywood seeks new child star! Extry! Extry! Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain.
But if we have nothing to fear but fear itself, Why does eleanor roosevelt wear that spooky mask? No, pinky.
I will take little trudy simple's place As america's favorite child star.
Oh, yes, brain! Oh, wait, no.
Sorry.
Um, there's a problem.
Trudy simple is adorable.
Are you saying that i'm not adorable, pinky? Well, yeah--Well, no-- Maybe if i squint very hard And make everything very blurry i--Narf! Uh Oh, yes.
That's it.
How is the work going on my sailor suit, pinky? Oh, good, brain.
Little lord wetbottom didn't want to give me his clothes at first, But i taught him all about sharing.
Excellent.
We must spend every waking moment Preparing for my plan.
Right, brain.
Um, may i read the funny pages when you're done with them? These aren't the funny pages, pinky.
They're the product of hours of research I've spent unlocking the mystery of cuteness.
Cuteness? Yes.
I'm quantifying the physical attributes Of the world's cutest living things-- The wide-Eyed innocence of the newborn baby the insouciant charm of the frisky puppy the huggable gruffness of new york mayor fiorello la guardia.
But, brain, Um, you don't look like any of them.
Well, maybe the doggy, Especially when you're asleep, And your tongue's-- Ahwha uhh! Um, where are we going, brain? Over here, pinky.
I have laid out the ingredients For my cuteness makeover.
Altering my appearance using these items Will make it mathematically impossible For hollywood producers not to find me adorable.
Oh, fun, brain.
And when you're done playing dress-Up, Can we play horsey? This is science, pinky.
Observe.
Contact lenses to enlarge my eyes And elicit the audience's protective instinct, Fake dimples to augment cheek pinchability [crunch.]
Blond curls perfectly calibrated to-- Well, actually, i just sort of like them.
So, pinky, what do you think? Um, i think you've concentrated a great deal on surface appearances Without really honing your theatrical abilities.
Perfect! Come, pinky, i'm ready for hollywood.
Here we are, pinky, schwab's drugstore, Where many of hollywood's legendary stars are discovered.
Any second now, a producer will discover me And ask me to star in his next film.
How can you tell which ones are the producers, brain? Simple, pinky.
They're the ones buying the ulcer medication.
Ahh! [Slurp.]
Oh, i do hope they discover you soon, brain.
I'm getting hungry, And we don't have any money.
You're forgetting, pinky.
I'm adorable.
Adorable people don't need money.
Watch closely.
Excuse me, mr.
Nice man, But could you spare some money-Wunny for my friend and i-- Both: aah! Godfrey daniels! What miserably annoying little mendicants.
Aah! Aah! Of course there will be those rare freaks of nature Who will remain impervious to my charms.
[Crying.]
pinky, stop that crying immediately.
I can't help it, brain.
It's the onions.
"Your father is weak.
"He was weak when i met him, he's weak now, And he'll be weak tomorrow.
" [Bette davis' voice.]
"no, mommy dearest, Daddy's a good man.
Ever so good.
" "Perhaps, you're right.
"Nevertheless, he's broke, "And we're leaving him.
"By the way, i traded in your cat bitzie For a wooden coat hanger this morning.
" "Oh, mommy dearest.
Wah-Ha ha ha!" Cut.
Thank you, miss benzeweinger.
But there's another page.
Director: thank you.
I'll show you.
I'll show you all.
Another stinker.
We still haven't found the next trudy simple.
But, f.
L.
, we've seen every 5-Year-Old central casting has.
I don't want central casting.
I want real.
I want a kid with heart.
I want a kid who knows what suffering is.
I want boo-Hoo! Wah! Wah! That kid! [Door opens and closes.]
"It is a beautiful coat hanger, mommy dearest.
"You were right to trade bitzie.
You're the smartest, bestest mother in the whole world.
" Fantastic! Stupendous! I mean, uh, heh did you like her, miss crawford? You can't be serious! She's stiff, she's amateurish, She's-- She's the most adorable creature i've ever seen.
I knew it! You're our girl! You are a girl, aren't you? Actually, i'm a lab mouse intent on taking over the world.
Ha! Great! Und she does comedy, too.
Give me the studio chief.
Irving, this is fritz.
We have our star.
America's sweetheart little baby brain.
Miss brain, we're prepared to offer you a 3-Picture deal And $1 million.
I'll need 2 million.
What? Why, you juvenile dillinger! I oughta pinch your widdle cheeks, you little munchkin.
All right, 2 it is.
Now, all i need is for you To give this contract to one of your parents to sign.
Uhparents? Well, yes.
We can't expect a 5-Year-Old To understand all the big law words, can we? No, of course not.
Ah, mother pinky! Did you call me, brain? Meet irving thyroid, The head of zenith pictures, Uhmommy.
A sincere pleasure.
You should be very proud.
Oh, it's nothing, really.
There's a whole stack of lovely hats Next to the water cooler in the next room.
Oh.
No.
I mean of your daughter here.
Daughter? Yes, pinky.
You're my mother, and i'm your daughter.
Brain, is it really true? Oh! This is the happiest day of my life! I've always wanted a little girl.
Oh, dear, i think i'm going to cry.
Poit! Ah-Pffft! Pinky--Er--Mommy, no! I'm sorry, mr.
Thyroid.
Mommy gets emotional.
Uh, yeah.
That's ok, dear.
We'll write up a new contract And messenger it this afternoon.
Come, pinky, The nice man has work to do.
Bye-Bye, irvy-Wurvy.
What a cutie! [Crunch.]
uhh.
Uhh! Ah! Eh! This is hooda hepper on hollywood.
Tinsel town is a-Buzz over pint-Sized newcomer To our celebrity fold little baby brain, America's sweetheart.
Here the tiny toe-Tapper is seen taking her mother pinky To the premiere of her screen debut.
At a time when our young people Seem to have forgotten the phrase, "Respect your elders," Isn't it nice to see a child dote on her mother so? This has been hooda hepper with hepper on hollywood.
Pinky: soup's on! I'm not hungry, pinky.
Oh, but this is your favorite, brain, cream of cream Anyway, i don't have time to eat.
I'm due back on the set in 3 minutes.
Well, eat something, brain.
There are starving children at mgm.
No time, pinky.
No time.
The studio is pushing To make me their number one child star! Well, here.
Wear a hat.
I don't need a hat.
But, brain, it's chilly out.
And don't talk to strangers! Oh! Ooh! Ah! They grow up so fast.
on the nice boat candy cane it's a short trip to dental pain 'cause everything's sweet lots of candy things for children to eat try the caramel chairs get your fill be a candidate for the dentist's drill on marmalade seas you're a cinch for painful gum disease Chorus: * oh, the anchor is made * with a licorice braid you can bet that nothin's low-Cal if you eat too much uh-Oh [Drilling.]
better make time for a root canal on the nice boat candy cane better bring your novocain till then, i say everyone aboard for tooth decay A limousine has pulled up.
This could be the moment we've been waiting for.
Yes, indeed, it's little baby brain, Looking cute as a button.
And, now, her escort for the evening film star rickey mooney.
Oh, don't they make an adorable couple? Grrr! So, goldilocks, what's say me and you ditch this dump And take a long, romantic drive? I thought this was just a publicity date.
Oh, but, baby, i want you to be my best girl! I'm afraid that's impossible.
I'm only 2 years old.
Oh, boy, you're tall for your age! Hey, ava, it's me--Rickey.
Wait up! Wha! Oh! Yah ha! Back.
Back, you animals.
These people are savages.
Yes, cannibals gorging themselves on the red meat of celebrity.
Bloodthirsty huns scavenging the field of battle.
Yes.
Both: things will be different When i take over the world.
Welles, orson.
Brain the.
Pinky, i'm home.
Oh, there you are, brain.
Poit! I was worried sick.
I was at a publicity party, pinky.
I told you i'd be late.
Well, you could have at least called.
Your dinner is stone cold, of course.
I already ate at the puce fedora.
Pinky, what's gotten into you? Well, i'm sorry, brain.
Ever since you fell in with this-- This hollywood crowd, It seems like you don't have time for your own mother.
Pinky, you're not my mother.
Ohohh! How can you say that After all i've done for you? Listen, maybe you didn't grow up rich Like all your fancy new friends, But i always put food pellets on the table! Zort! Listen to me, pinky.
You're not my mother.
I just said you were my mother So they'd let me work in the movies.
You know, you wouldn't treat me this way If i weren't a genetically altered lab mouse! But you are, pinky.
You are a genetically altered lab mouse.
Now, repeat after me.
I am not your mother.
I am not your muh mother.
Good.
Tsk! Hmm hmm hmm.
So headstrong.
You get that from your father.
Uhh! [Click.]
Mr.
Thyroid, little baby brain and her mother Are here to see you.
Go right in, ladies.
What do you think he wants to tell us, brain? He obviously wants me to sign on for more films, pinky.
He'll be devastated when i tell him i'm retiring.
Ladies, come in, have a seat.
I was just reading this morning's paper.
Well, don't let us interrupt you.
Actually, you might be interested In hooda hepper's column today.
Let me read it to you.
Uh, yadda yadda yadda, blahdee blah.
Oh, crisp style.
"Sources report "Seeing miss brain "Raise her hand to her own mother "Inside their trailer friday night, "Insisting to the distraught woman "That they were not related.
"And if you think that's ugly, "Take a gander at these exclusive photos "Showing little baby brain without the wig and dimples That suckered this reporter into branding her america's sweetheart.
" Well? Anything to say for yourselves? Yes.
What's a 5-Letter word for tree fungus? Get out! Um, no.
That's 6 letters.
Narf! Hold on.
I believe you owe me $2 million.
Ha! You can't touch that money for years.
What? That's right.
Your mother signed contracts Placing your earnings in trust for you until you're 21.
Maybe by then you'll appreciate What this woman's done for you.
Pinky, is this true? Yes, brain.
I just want you to have the opportunities i never had.
Think of it-- You'll be the first in our family to go to college.
And the first in our family to go to sing sing For doing you grievous bodily harm! Come, pinky.
If we leave now, We can be home by tomorrow night.
Why? What we doing tomorrow night, brain? Putting me up for adoption, And then trying to take over the-- Ah ah ah ah ah! Hold the door for a lady, dear.
Yes, mother.
And don't mumble.
Yes, mother.
And stand up straight.
Yes, mother.
they're pinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain, brain [Sighs.]
You look sad, brain.
Perhaps a little.
Just taking in the night, pinky.
So vast are the heavens, this starry canopy.
To contemplate the endless nature of the universe Is to acknowledge one's own insignificance.
It's really dark, too, With little sparkly things.
Narf! Sometimes it seems so burdensome, So feckless.
Yes.
It's completely without feck.
Words have no meaning.
I'm left speechless.
I--I don't know what to say.
I always know what to say, brain.
Wha ha ha! just say narf just say narf when you aim to exclaim, just say narf Yes.
Always.
Aah! doesn't make a difference if you shout or sing it doesn't mean anything just say zort just say poit wear a hat, kiss a fish call detroit hello.
now, you may be a mouse who thinks that life isn't fair you get up in the wheel but you don't go anywhere at least you didn't end up bein' married to cher just say narf, just say narf just say narf Oh, yes.
It's obviously been some delusion 'Caused by a combination of iron deficiency And a subconscious fear of nincompoops.
Ha ha ha! Aah! just say narf just say narf It isn't even a word.
Ow! it's right here in roget's just say narf so what if the numbers Don't make sense on a chart? * who said you've gotta be smart? paint your nose chill some flan and remember to pregrease the pan a narf cannot explain old newton's gravity laws it's absolutely useless on linoleum floors it isn't the solution but it's sure not the cause just say narf, just say narf, just say narf [Music continues.]
just say narf just say narf just say narf Get down from there, pinky.
Only if you say narf, brain.
I am not going to utter that nonsensical syllable, pinky.
Aah! just say narf just say narf just say narf See how simple it is, brain? You mean, how simple you are.
Oh, all right.
Narf.
There, i said it.
Are you happy? Don't you feel so much better now, brain? As a matter of fact no! Narf! warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--