Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e21 Episode Script
Genie President
1 [ANIMAL SOUNDS.]
Go! [TITLE MUSIC.]
T E E N T I T A N S Teen Titans let's go [scratching.]
T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [VIDEO GAME BEEPING.]
[ALL EXCLAIMING.]
- Greetings, Titans.
- What's in the box, yo? Probably nothing good.
Ooh, on the contrary.
This box contains an object that will change our very lives.
Ooh, what is it? What is it? What is it? What's inside? What is it? Ooh, open it, open it.
We can contain the suspenses no longer.
- I gotta know what's in that box! - Behold! I knew it was nothing good.
Dude, don't nobody care about that penny! You throws that dirty penny in the trash with the rest of the trash.
[GASPING.]
Oh! [EXCLAIMING.]
Oh.
Oh Uh, Star, that's just a penny.
"Just the penny?" Just the penny?! Oh, no, no, no, nah, nah, nah, nopity-nope, no siree-bop the no.
This coin is of the greatest of value.
Upon the penny, one can make the wish which is then granted by the power of the first and only genie president of the United States.
- Genie president? - Yes.
The genie president, Abraham and Turkey Sandwich Lincoln.
His tale is the tragic one.
Even though he is the all powerful genie.
He could not grant himself the one wish he most desired.
To grow the upper lip mustache hair.
And upon the rear of the magical penny is the image of his favorite cake.
- That's the Lincoln Memorial.
- Yes.
The memorial to his favorite cake.
I believe it is the carrot flavor.
Don't be ridiculous, Starfire, it's red velvet.
Hmm, looks like dark chocolate to me.
- Nah, it's definitely coconut, yo.
- Titans Coconut? Where you gettin' coconut from? - Uh, hello.
- Maybe it's that good angel food.
- Listen to me! - Could be pineapple upside down cake.
[YELLS.]
Stop arguing about what kind of cake the Lincoln Memorial is made of! I showed you this penny because I discovered something incredible.
[WHISPERS.]
Shh.
Now, listen closely.
The metals used to make a penny are worth 50% more than the penny itself.
[LAUGHING EVILLY.]
Fifty percent! Do you know what that means? [GROANING.]
No, not really.
ROBIN: Well, the penny's value as currency is one cent.
The raw materials that comprise a penny are actually worth 1.
5 cents, therefore two pennies are not worth two cents, but rather three cents! [ALL CHEERING.]
So youse is saying a penny is worth more than a penny? That don't make no cents.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC.]
I never knew pennies were so valuable.
I've been just throwing mine away.
That's because no one knows the true value of the humble penny except us.
Here's the plan, Titans, we are going to collect the world's unwanted pennies.
Melt them down and sell the raw materials back to the government for a huge profit.
- Let's get them pennies - We're gonna be rich.
Friends, no! We cannot destroy the pennies.
You're worried about defacing official currency which is a valid concern.
- That is not my concern.
- I mean, Starfire's right.
- Defacing currency is a federal crime.
- No, that is not what I meant.
And I ain't wanna get into a tangle with the government - over this scheme, yo.
- You are not the listening.
I assure you we are on solid legal ground.
Take a look at this.
Souvenir coin machines are built for the sole purpose of defacing pennies and they're perfectly legal.
Sounds like a bullet proof legal defense to me.
But what will happen to the poor souls who in times of need call upon the magic of genie president Lincoln by casting the pennies into the wells of the wishing.
The wishing wells I didn't even think of those.
Oh, the relief that you are the understanding.
All those fools throwing their pennies into wells.
Just waiting for us to grab them.
Let's hit up them wishing wells first, yo.
Titans, go! [MUSIC.]
[VIDEO GAME BEEPING.]
Well, it was hard work, Titans, but we've collected every discarded penny in the world.
Who wants to take a dip before we melt them down, and extract their precious metals? ALL: We do! [ALL CHEERING.]
[GROANING.]
[GROANING.]
Ow! Ah, ooh, ouch, ouch, ouch.
What a great way to enjoy these coins.
Ugh, that rich duck was right.
[GROANING.]
[GROANING.]
Jump in, Star, the water's hard.
I am still having the second, third and fourth thoughts about the plan.
If we destroy all of the magical pennies, the world will be without wishes.
Who needs wishes when we gots them riches.
- Ow! - That's what I'm talking about.
[ALL CHEERING.]
ALL: Ow, ow, ow! This is the travesty.
I must go somewhere to do the head clearing.
ALL: Ow, ow, ow! Oh, Lincoln Memorial.
I am unable to convince the friends that the pennies are worth the saving.
Perhaps I should leave them to the money making scheme and disregard the penny magic I hold so dear in my heart.
You are the right.
Genie president Abraham and Turkey Sandwich Lincoln never gave up on the upper lip hair and I shall not give up on the pennies! Thank you for the words of encouragement.
I see now why you are the president's favorite cake.
Carrot cake, I the knew it! Good bye.
- Ready, Cyborg? - Good to go.
Let's turn this trash into cash! [ALL CHEERING.]
I like it! CYBORG: Who don't like that coinage? Money, money, money, money, money, money.
Let's do it! [ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY.]
[MACHINE POWERS DOWN.]
[GRUNTING.]
I cannot allow this, friend Titans.
The pennies are too precious to melt.
Each contains the magical wish from children all over the world.
Like this penny.
It's wish belongs to the little boy from Cincinnati who dreams of one day becoming the dog.
Or this penny, it's wish belongs to the little girl from Halifax who dreams of traveling to the outer space in order to destroy the sun.
And this penny its wish belongs to the me.
It is my dream that my friends will see the magic of the pennies is more valuable than the monies.
- She's right.
- Pennies are worth so much more - than 1.
5 cents.
- We's not melting metal, yo.
We's melting dreams.
Oh, yeah, she's so right, guys, who cares about being super rich?! [MUSIC.]
Come on, melt those babies down.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
Everybody, freeze, US Bureau of Engraving and Printing.
You're all under arrest for defacing currency.
Okay, slow down, I assure you it's perfectly legal based on the fact that souvenir coin machines are also legal.
US Code, title 18, chapter 17, section 331 allows the defacement of any for the purpose of making souvenirs but does not allow defacement for the purposes of profiting off of raw materials.
[GASPS.]
What's them words mean? What's them words mean? It means Robin was wrong, we're breaking the law.
You can't arrest us, we didn't know it was illegal.
Tell that to the judge.
Titans, run! [MUSIC.]
[POLICE SIREN WAILING.]
[EXCLAIMING.]
I can't see a way out of this one, Titans.
I tolds you I ain't want to get tangled up with the government, fool.
Oh, what if there was only someone we could turn to in this - most desperate hour? - Our most desperate hour That is the it! We can make the wish.
- But we don't have any pennies.
- I guess this is the end.
Wait.
What's that behind your ear? ALL: Ooh.
Starfire, the wish is yours to make.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
[SPLASHING.]
- Nothing's happening.
- Was I the incorrect? Are the pennies not the magical? [RUMBLING.]
[FANFARE MUSIC.]
[GENIE EXCLAIMING.]
No, way! It's [COUGHING.]
ALL: Genie president Abraham and Turkey Sandwich Lincoln! Yes, it is I, the all powerful genie of the penny.
Mr.
Genie President.
It is my most desperate wish for all of the current troubles to disappear.
It shall be done.
[MUSIC.]
Yeah.
[ALL CHEERING.]
- Thank you.
- Wow, Star.
You were right, pennies really are magical.
Yeah, who needs riches when you gots them wishes? Ain't that right, Abe.
- Oh, what is the wrong? - Oh, it's nothing.
I believe I know what is bothering the you.
Mr.
Genie President.
I wish for you to grow the upper lip hair.
[GASPS.]
Do you mean it? Do you really mean it? Ooh, I have a mustache.
I finally have a mustache! Thank you, Starfire.
You never stop believing in magic.
Ooh, my mustache.
Go! [TITLE MUSIC.]
T E E N T I T A N S Teen Titans let's go [scratching.]
T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [VIDEO GAME BEEPING.]
[ALL EXCLAIMING.]
- Greetings, Titans.
- What's in the box, yo? Probably nothing good.
Ooh, on the contrary.
This box contains an object that will change our very lives.
Ooh, what is it? What is it? What is it? What's inside? What is it? Ooh, open it, open it.
We can contain the suspenses no longer.
- I gotta know what's in that box! - Behold! I knew it was nothing good.
Dude, don't nobody care about that penny! You throws that dirty penny in the trash with the rest of the trash.
[GASPING.]
Oh! [EXCLAIMING.]
Oh.
Oh Uh, Star, that's just a penny.
"Just the penny?" Just the penny?! Oh, no, no, no, nah, nah, nah, nopity-nope, no siree-bop the no.
This coin is of the greatest of value.
Upon the penny, one can make the wish which is then granted by the power of the first and only genie president of the United States.
- Genie president? - Yes.
The genie president, Abraham and Turkey Sandwich Lincoln.
His tale is the tragic one.
Even though he is the all powerful genie.
He could not grant himself the one wish he most desired.
To grow the upper lip mustache hair.
And upon the rear of the magical penny is the image of his favorite cake.
- That's the Lincoln Memorial.
- Yes.
The memorial to his favorite cake.
I believe it is the carrot flavor.
Don't be ridiculous, Starfire, it's red velvet.
Hmm, looks like dark chocolate to me.
- Nah, it's definitely coconut, yo.
- Titans Coconut? Where you gettin' coconut from? - Uh, hello.
- Maybe it's that good angel food.
- Listen to me! - Could be pineapple upside down cake.
[YELLS.]
Stop arguing about what kind of cake the Lincoln Memorial is made of! I showed you this penny because I discovered something incredible.
[WHISPERS.]
Shh.
Now, listen closely.
The metals used to make a penny are worth 50% more than the penny itself.
[LAUGHING EVILLY.]
Fifty percent! Do you know what that means? [GROANING.]
No, not really.
ROBIN: Well, the penny's value as currency is one cent.
The raw materials that comprise a penny are actually worth 1.
5 cents, therefore two pennies are not worth two cents, but rather three cents! [ALL CHEERING.]
So youse is saying a penny is worth more than a penny? That don't make no cents.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC.]
I never knew pennies were so valuable.
I've been just throwing mine away.
That's because no one knows the true value of the humble penny except us.
Here's the plan, Titans, we are going to collect the world's unwanted pennies.
Melt them down and sell the raw materials back to the government for a huge profit.
- Let's get them pennies - We're gonna be rich.
Friends, no! We cannot destroy the pennies.
You're worried about defacing official currency which is a valid concern.
- That is not my concern.
- I mean, Starfire's right.
- Defacing currency is a federal crime.
- No, that is not what I meant.
And I ain't wanna get into a tangle with the government - over this scheme, yo.
- You are not the listening.
I assure you we are on solid legal ground.
Take a look at this.
Souvenir coin machines are built for the sole purpose of defacing pennies and they're perfectly legal.
Sounds like a bullet proof legal defense to me.
But what will happen to the poor souls who in times of need call upon the magic of genie president Lincoln by casting the pennies into the wells of the wishing.
The wishing wells I didn't even think of those.
Oh, the relief that you are the understanding.
All those fools throwing their pennies into wells.
Just waiting for us to grab them.
Let's hit up them wishing wells first, yo.
Titans, go! [MUSIC.]
[VIDEO GAME BEEPING.]
Well, it was hard work, Titans, but we've collected every discarded penny in the world.
Who wants to take a dip before we melt them down, and extract their precious metals? ALL: We do! [ALL CHEERING.]
[GROANING.]
[GROANING.]
Ow! Ah, ooh, ouch, ouch, ouch.
What a great way to enjoy these coins.
Ugh, that rich duck was right.
[GROANING.]
[GROANING.]
Jump in, Star, the water's hard.
I am still having the second, third and fourth thoughts about the plan.
If we destroy all of the magical pennies, the world will be without wishes.
Who needs wishes when we gots them riches.
- Ow! - That's what I'm talking about.
[ALL CHEERING.]
ALL: Ow, ow, ow! This is the travesty.
I must go somewhere to do the head clearing.
ALL: Ow, ow, ow! Oh, Lincoln Memorial.
I am unable to convince the friends that the pennies are worth the saving.
Perhaps I should leave them to the money making scheme and disregard the penny magic I hold so dear in my heart.
You are the right.
Genie president Abraham and Turkey Sandwich Lincoln never gave up on the upper lip hair and I shall not give up on the pennies! Thank you for the words of encouragement.
I see now why you are the president's favorite cake.
Carrot cake, I the knew it! Good bye.
- Ready, Cyborg? - Good to go.
Let's turn this trash into cash! [ALL CHEERING.]
I like it! CYBORG: Who don't like that coinage? Money, money, money, money, money, money.
Let's do it! [ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY.]
[MACHINE POWERS DOWN.]
[GRUNTING.]
I cannot allow this, friend Titans.
The pennies are too precious to melt.
Each contains the magical wish from children all over the world.
Like this penny.
It's wish belongs to the little boy from Cincinnati who dreams of one day becoming the dog.
Or this penny, it's wish belongs to the little girl from Halifax who dreams of traveling to the outer space in order to destroy the sun.
And this penny its wish belongs to the me.
It is my dream that my friends will see the magic of the pennies is more valuable than the monies.
- She's right.
- Pennies are worth so much more - than 1.
5 cents.
- We's not melting metal, yo.
We's melting dreams.
Oh, yeah, she's so right, guys, who cares about being super rich?! [MUSIC.]
Come on, melt those babies down.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
Everybody, freeze, US Bureau of Engraving and Printing.
You're all under arrest for defacing currency.
Okay, slow down, I assure you it's perfectly legal based on the fact that souvenir coin machines are also legal.
US Code, title 18, chapter 17, section 331 allows the defacement of any for the purpose of making souvenirs but does not allow defacement for the purposes of profiting off of raw materials.
[GASPS.]
What's them words mean? What's them words mean? It means Robin was wrong, we're breaking the law.
You can't arrest us, we didn't know it was illegal.
Tell that to the judge.
Titans, run! [MUSIC.]
[POLICE SIREN WAILING.]
[EXCLAIMING.]
I can't see a way out of this one, Titans.
I tolds you I ain't want to get tangled up with the government, fool.
Oh, what if there was only someone we could turn to in this - most desperate hour? - Our most desperate hour That is the it! We can make the wish.
- But we don't have any pennies.
- I guess this is the end.
Wait.
What's that behind your ear? ALL: Ooh.
Starfire, the wish is yours to make.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
[SPLASHING.]
- Nothing's happening.
- Was I the incorrect? Are the pennies not the magical? [RUMBLING.]
[FANFARE MUSIC.]
[GENIE EXCLAIMING.]
No, way! It's [COUGHING.]
ALL: Genie president Abraham and Turkey Sandwich Lincoln! Yes, it is I, the all powerful genie of the penny.
Mr.
Genie President.
It is my most desperate wish for all of the current troubles to disappear.
It shall be done.
[MUSIC.]
Yeah.
[ALL CHEERING.]
- Thank you.
- Wow, Star.
You were right, pennies really are magical.
Yeah, who needs riches when you gots them wishes? Ain't that right, Abe.
- Oh, what is the wrong? - Oh, it's nothing.
I believe I know what is bothering the you.
Mr.
Genie President.
I wish for you to grow the upper lip hair.
[GASPS.]
Do you mean it? Do you really mean it? Ooh, I have a mustache.
I finally have a mustache! Thank you, Starfire.
You never stop believing in magic.
Ooh, my mustache.