All Hail King Julien: Exiled (2017) s01e12 Episode Script

1 - [MORT CHUCKLES.]
- [GROWLS.]
- [MORT.]
I'm okay! - [LAUGHS.]
[THEME SONG PLAYING.]
Party [JULIEN.]
It's about to get real.
The journey is almost over King Julien returned home But he failed to assassinate Koto So to his throne he said Shalom [JULIEN.]
That's Hebrew for goodbye.
Without his coffee Mort was inclined To seek out Smart Mort inside his mind Koto proposed and Clover had to agree In hopes of setting the prisoners free And Grammy Mort went down the well! [GRAMMY MORT.]
Mmm.
That's where the secrets are.
[CHUCKLES.]
[JULIEN.]
Chapter doisprezece.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
Xixi, here, reporting live from the arranged marriage of King Koto and the crocodile princess, Amy.
One of the most glamorous weddings, like, ev's.
F-R-eekin'! [HYSTERICALLY.]
We're all gonna die! Amy, this is your big day.
What are you wearing? [STAMMERS.]
Dad made me wear it.
[GRUNTS.]
Dad, I hate you! Hate, hate, hate! Drama.
[CROCODILE AMBASSADOR.]
Honey, sweetness.
- [XIXI GIGGLES.]
- I can fix it.
Today is my wedding day.
[MOUNTAIN LEMURS.]
Ha-ruh! And to commemorate this romantic moment, I have something big planned.
I'm going to set you all free and give Julien back his kingdom [ALL GASP.]
is something you will never hear me say.
- [ALL.]
Oh! - [LAUGHS.]
Because I'm saying this, as a wedding gift to my Amy-waimy, these six prisoners will be sacrificed.
- What did he say? - Oh, ho, I'm too young.
A wedding and a sacrifice? Let's see what the little people have to say about the big day.
Idiot.
King Julien's up there awaiting execution.
They're all gonna die! Ooh, I'm hoping for white cake.
What a big, big day! - Hmm? - [KOTO.]
Julien, - I want to give you a parting gift.
- [XIXI.]
Whoa! Oh! Is it the centerpieces? Yes! Candied bees on silk flowers stemming from a whimsical brandy snifter.
[LAUGHS.]
Tres mani [STUTTERS.]
Nice.
Those are for guests only.
Any last words, Julien? Oh, you know it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Couldn't let you get married without me saying a little somethin' somethin'.
When I found out Koto was getting married, I was like, "What? That's totally cray.
Totally!" Not to mention I was on a zeppelin full of Russian space monkeys at the time.
- [CLANGS.]
- Talk about crazy.
- [CAT SCREECHES.]
- Oh, yeah.
That guy knows what I'm talkin' 'bout, right there.
Check him out.
[LAUGHS.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
[JULIEN.]
You should have seen the look on his face, wearing women's underpants and covered in bat guano.
[LAUGHS HEARTILY.]
Those were good times.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
Anyhoo, just throwing it out there that, uh, this would be the perfect time for somebody [COUGHING.]
Clover Sorry, excuse me, to rescue us.
[COUGHS.]
Clover.
Or anybody.
[COUGHS.]
Rescue cough, Clover.
[HORST.]
Mary Ann! - Huh? - I'll rescue you! - Hmm.
- Mary Ann! [WHOOSHING.]
[GRUNTS.]
- [LAUGHS FOOLISHLY.]
- [LAUGHS.]
But the time for the sacrifice has come.
- To kick off my wedding ceremony.
- Huh? [GROWLS.]
[ROARS.]
[JULIEN WHIMPERS.]
- Huh? - We will not die this day.
[ROARS.]
Enough! Let's have an execution! [MOUNTAIN LEMURS.]
Ha-ruh! Who's up first? Let's see.
Eenie-meenie, ex-King Julien.
[STRUGGLING.]
Allow me to show you the last chair your booty will ever grace.
- [GROANS.]
- [KOTO.]
The Chair of Doom.
[WHIMPERS.]
Oh! Is that crushed velvet? Very comfy.
Just let me get a little [GRUNTING.]
Just let me get my stank on it.
[GRUNTING.]
Really get it in there.
Is this supposed to be my, uh, Chair of Doom? [CHUCKLES.]
Does it come in different colors or fabrics? Because depending upon the season No.
It doesn't come in different colors and fabrics.
[GROANS.]
It does, however, come with attachments.
Oh.
[WHIRRING AND BANGING.]
Aah! [SCREAMING.]
Scream all you want, Julien.
I locked up Clover just to be safe.
So there's no one left to come to your aid.
No one.
[LAUGHING DIABOLICALLY.]
- [GASPING.]
- [WHIMPERING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Somebody help! [ECHOING.]
[STRUGGLING.]
[SCREAMS.]
This can't be how it ends.
It just can't be.
To come all this way and fail.
No, I refuse to let that happen.
I have to do something.
But what? - [FLUTTERING.]
- [GASPS.]
What would Sage do? Through deep meditation, I separate soul and flesh.
Then my aura slips through the bars and grabs the key.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's almost too simple.
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
Okay, okay, I will calm myself, and through deep meditation, my soul will leave my body and open the cage door.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay, calm, calm.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[EXCLAIMS.]
Yes! It's working! No! Oh, come on! [WHIRRING AND BANGING SLOWS DOWN.]
[CLOVER GRUNTS.]
King Julien.
I have to stop this.
I have to [GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Wait, what? [GROWLS.]
Except my soul can't seem to grab a hold of anything.
Stupid soul fingers! [SCREAMS.]
Everything is moving really slowly.
And I Sage! Together, we can do this.
Sage? Sage! Wake up! I need your help.
You've reached Sage Moondancer.
You've reached Sage Moondancer.
My soul's not in right now because I've had a nuclear meltdown in my head - [GASPS.]
- and it was, like, really scary.
Like, really.
Taking a little soul vacay - to recharge the old batteries.
- [GASPS.]
Leave heart kisses at the beep.
Beep.
Great! My soul can't touch anything and Sage has gone on vacation.
How am I gonna find him? [VOMITS.]
Wait a minute.
I know that vomit.
Jarsh-Jarsh? - [JARSH-JARSH.]
Yes, Clover.
- [CHUCKLES.]
It is the Jarsh-Jarsh.
Rise, child, rise.
Oh, my word, it's full of stars.
[VOMITS.]
- [BELCHES.]
- Is that soul vomit? Wow! No words, Jarsh-Jarsh.
Really.
Just no words.
Jarsh-Jarsh, I need your help.
I need Sage to save King Julien, but Sage is gone.
We Yeah, mentally.
Hut, hut, hut.
Not gone.
Hiding.
Sadly, I know not where.
[SIGHS.]
But I know someone who does.
Oh, Jarsh-Jarsh, thank you! [INHALES.]
Oh! Even your soul smells a bit off, if you know what I'm sayin'.
- Huh? - [CHOMPS.]
- Clover, I give you Sage's soul-animal.
- Er The majestic butterfly.
Hi, Clover.
It's me Brendan.
[LAUGHS.]
Brendan? Brendan.
Clover, you gotta help Sage.
You just gotta.
He's in trouble.
I feel his tears hot on my proboscis-eternal.
I want to help, Brendan.
Where is he? Can you take me to him? Sure, climb on.
- [CLOVER CHUCKLES.]
- But you gotta say the magic words.
- Hmm? - It's "Yah!" - [LAUGHS.]
- [GROANS.]
- Yah, Brendan! Yah! - [LAUGHS.]
[VOMITS.]
[CLOVER GRUNTS.]
Sage, you all right? What ails thee? Wait, hold on.
Why'd I say that? That was weird.
Sage! Clover, my rage is too strong.
I must abide here in the land of mushrooms.
For if I unleash my rage, I will destroy the planet.
Sage, we can save King Julien.
We are the ultimate weapon, remember? You and me? Together? We can do this.
But I am afraid! I will be right there with you.
I will help you control your rage, Sage.
That rhymed.
Never mind.
Oh, did it again.
Ha! Anyway, we will do this.
You and me, together.
Just take my hand.
[GIBBERING.]
Sage, take it.
Take my hand.
[SAGE GRUNTS.]
Yah! [GRUNTING.]
[SAGE.]
Look, Clover.
[LAUGHS.]
It's ultimate weapon time.
Can we just talk about this for a little minute? [LAUGHS.]
- [WHIMPERS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
- Huh? - [BOTH SCREAMING.]
Oy, you slankers.
Leggo my Julien! [GRUNTING.]
- [EXCLAIMS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Wow! [GRUNTING.]
- [AMY SCREAMS.]
- [KOTO GRUNTS.]
- [KOTO SCREAMS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
Wow.
That Sage guy is [PURRS.]
Dad, I want him.
Get him for me.
Dad! Oh, my, I don't even know what to do with that information, Amy.
In fact, this whole wedding is off.
But Dad.
Not another word, Amy.
- [GRUNTING.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Oh! Thank you, Sage.
Clover.
Clover Sage.
Is that like Clage? Or Sover.
- I like Clager.
- [KOTO GRUNTS.]
This doesn't end until Julien is destroyed.
Get down, your majesty.
Glaswegian kiss! [KOTO GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[PANTS.]
That felt good.
Gotta get back to the fight.
[KOTO SCREAMS.]
[GROANS.]
[CHEERING.]
- [GROWLS.]
- [WHIMPERS.]
Namaste.
Oh, yeah! That's what I'm talking about.
Eat it, Koto! Eat it dry.
With no sauces.
Please.
[GRUNTS.]
Do you really think you've changed anything with your little show? Look around you, Julien.
My blond-haired buffoon of a brother has only delayed the inevitable.
A few measly guards.
Big deal.
I have an entire army.
Assemble the army.
Stand to, my legions.
Stand to.
[SCREAMS.]
[MOUNTAIN LEMURS CHANTING.]
Ha-ruh! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight [CHANTING CONTINUES.]
Oh, golly, that's a lot of big strapping mountain lemur soldiers, your majesty.
What do we do now? Now, Ted? Now we fear tinkle.
[WHIMPERING.]
Way ahead of you, King J.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, my.
[KARL LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY.]
- [CHAUNCEY SCREECHES.]
- Cunning, but I have yet to unleash my greatest backup plan of all time.
I have constructed a space station of immense proportions with an unstoppable weapons platform.
And I will now use it - to decimate Koto - [SCREECHES.]
and his army.
I give you, the Karl-star! - [CHAUNCEY SCREECHES.]
- [LAUGHS.]
[GROANS.]
Karl? Just one eensy question.
Why wasn't this plan A? I mean, seriously, dude.
Get your priorities together.
Oh, I have my priorities together.
Watch as the power of the Karl-star blocks out the sun! [SIZZLES.]
[GASPS.]
- What - [WHIMPERING.]
Stand your ground, mountain lemurs.
What kind of vile sorcery is this? All I need do is press this one button and Koto's army is finished! Ooh, I want to press it.
Can I press the button? Can I? I want to press it.
Um, logic police here, pepper spray of skepticism right in your faces! [HISSING.]
Won't that crazy space laser destroy us, too? Ted, please.
I'm sure Karl has it all figured out.
He's very smart.
It's just math, Ted.
Simple math.
Now, just let me - No! Not that one! - [BEEPS.]
[ALARM BLARING.]
[EXPLODING.]
[MOANING DEJECTEDLY.]
[LAUGHS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
See? I told you there was nothing to worry about.
- [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
- It was this button.
Yeah, kinda figured that out after I pushed the other one.
You know, Julien, I must say, I really am going to miss you.
You never cease to amuse, and what's life without a little laughter.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.]
But the time has come to end this once and for all.
Mountain lemurs, destroy Julien.
Listen, I wanted to thank you guys for all you've done.
But I'm afraid there's no way we can beat all those mountain lemurs.
There must be thousands of them.
Like thousands.
It's finished.
Yeah.
If this is the end, my love, maybe just one last sip Oh, Horst.
I I never stopped loving you.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SLURPING.]
Love here at the end of all things.
Oy.
That's pretty good, is that licorice? [GRUNTING.]
Whee! - Huh? - [GROANS.]
Whee! Gasp! It's raining Morts! Hallelujah! [GRUNTS.]
Oh, Mort! [GIGGLES.]
[SCREAMS AND GRUNTS.]
I'm coming, my king! [JULIEN LAUGHS.]
I am here to save you! - [MORT SCREAMS.]
- [CRASHES.]
[LAUGHS.]
That little closet elf found an army.
But will it be enough? [MOTOR WHIRRING.]
[LAUGHS.]
Hu-rah! Look at me.
I'm driving a zeppelin full of Russian space monkeys.
- [SCREAMING.]
- [CRASHING.]
Did not see that coming.
[GRUNTING.]
I hope those Russian space monkeys are okay.
- [EXPLOSION.]
- [JULIEN.]
Oh, the chimpanity! [WHIRRING.]
Totally cool that those Russian oligarchs gave these jet packs to us.
[CHUCKLES.]
I know, right? - Oh! - [TRENT, KIPPER AND JULIEN CHUCKLING.]
- [GASPS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
[RINGING AND SCREAMING.]
King Julien, it's me, Maurice.
And I've brought the bell people! Maurice? Maurice! [LAUGHS.]
Mo-Mo! Ringo, I am scared.
Fear not, Dingbert, it is as the Great Jingle Jangle foretold.
The War of the Beasts has truly begun.
[GRUNTING.]
[RINGING CONTINUES.]
[GRUNTING AND GROANING.]
- [BELL TOLLING.]
- Fight! Fight back! Come on, everybody! Get into the battle! We can do this! We can do this battle, come on, we can do this! Gonna get me what's mine, y'all.
Look out for the thunder.
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
- Good shot, Ted.
That one! - [GRUNTS.]
- [JULIEN.]
Whoo-hoo! Come on, Uncle, join the fun.
You know, I think I'd rather be leaving No! [SCREAMS.]
Wow, your uncle sure has some heft to him.
[GRUNTS.]
Did you see that? He took out, like, five.
Thanks, Uncle.
Oh, he's still going.
[GRUNTING.]
- [UNCLE JULIEN.]
Oh, my tush.
- Way to go, Unc.
Oh! That's gotta hurt.
Is that a spear? - [SPEAR UNSHEATHING.]
- [UNCLE JULIEN SCREAMS.]
That's gonna leave a scar.
Wear it like a badge! Brendan.
Clover.
Like a war battle scar.
Follow me, men.
Grenade mode! [SCREAMING.]
[COUGHING.]
Stupid! - Stupid! - Stupid! Wonder-todd-activate! That's my baby.
Go for the jugular, angel! Whoa! [COUGHS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Whose side are we on Trent? We are on our side.
All these other creatures are so repulsive.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Just a second, boys.
I want grandchildren.
- Fire! - [MORT SCREAMS.]
No! Whee! - [GROANS.]
- [SINGING IN RUSSIAN.]
I don't understand a word you're singing, and I don't care.
- Attica! Attica! - [MONKEYS SCREECHING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[RUMBLING.]
Good on ya, Sage! The pinata of truth has spilled its sweet seed, and my heart wants to invite you to the soul picnic.
Right, yeah.
Gonna have to take a little rain check on the ol' soul picnic.
[CHUCKLES.]
'Cause I've got some more urgent business.
Gotta protect my king.
[EXCLAIMS.]
[ALL CHANTING.]
The chosen one! Yeah Maurice, you are the chosen one.
Through your energy, we will summon the Great Jingle Jangle to aid us in this battle.
[GRUNTING.]
[STRAINING.]
[BLOWING.]
[EXPLOSION.]
[THUDDING.]
- Behold! - [OTHERS GASPING.]
The Great Jingle Jangle this way comes! [GASPS.]
[ROARS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, darn, spilled the salt again.
Bad luck if you don't throw a pinch over your left shoulder.
[HISSING.]
[SCREAMS.]
[RASPING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Did I do that? [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
I am so sorry.
[LAUGHS.]
Hey, Mo-Mo! He can't hear me.
- Maurice! - King Julien! Oh, Mo-Mo! I'm so happy you're alive.
I went to Frank-ri La just to find you.
[SOBBING.]
You know, not even death could keep me from your side, King Julien.
Sheesh, get a room, you two.
- [GRUNTING.]
- [CLOVER SCREAMING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Oy, King Julien! I'm-a coming! King Julien! I must join the feet in this epic moment.
[GROANS AND CRASHES.]
[GRUNTING.]
Stupid! - [FARTING.]
- [SCREAMING.]
- Mo-Mo, it's crazy - [FARTING.]
but I think we could actually win this thing.
- I will not lose this battle.
- Yes.
[JULIEN LAUGHS.]
The easiest way to win is to finish off Julien here and now! [GASPS.]
[LAUGHING.]
- No! - [GRUNTS.]
Die, Julien.
No! - Die! - [LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[WHOOSHING.]
No! [JULIEN LAUGHING.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]