Hill Street Blues (1981) s03e12 Episode Script
Santaclaustrophobia
Item 10 As regards "Operation santa" Wherein detectives hackley, sabatino and belker Will be working 112th St.
at the Avenue "B" Overpass, rappaport's department store, the Jefferson Avenue mall, and the blue line subway entrance At 118th street and people's drive, respectively.
Item 11: I remind you yet again Of the seasonal increase in suicide, aggravated assault, d&D, and your ever-popular homicide.
Pursuant to these grim realities, I give you item 12.
Now, let's exhibit sound judgment out there today, and hold to a minimum the nuisance-type busts.
Neither this precinct nor the courts it serves Look kindly on a last-minute Cupid, comet, dancer, donder, blitzen, prancer frenzy of Mickey mouse arrests, and attendant paperwork.
The day before Christmas is no time To pad your collar count.
Item 13: The Christmas gift drive For the patients of all angels children's hospital Under the personal supervision of it.
Howard hunter.
Last-minute gifts for these young unfortunates Are being wrapped near the front desk even as we speak, and delivery of same is scheduled at 4:30 P.
M.
Blitzen, comet, donder officers hill, renko, kresky, mankiewitz Dasher.
Coffey, bates and detectives bogburn Larue, Washington, belker and goldblume Cupid, blitzen, dancer Will convene at 4:15 sharp in the parking lot.
For transport to children's hospital, carpooling is recommended.
Appropriate wardrobe for Santa's helpers Has been provided free of charge By Kowalski's costume and party supply rentals.
So, leave us keep these good people in mind When we come upon their delivery trucks Occasionally parked in life's myriad no-loading zones.
Item last: Lieutenant calletano has asked me to remind you Of a little holiday celebration Here in roll call commencing at 6:00 P.
M.
So, as you move off to your various Christmas Eve celebrations, take the moment for some good fellowship, good groceries And non-alcoholic holiday cheer.
I stress "Non-alcoholic" Cupid, dasher and ViXen.
With specific reference to last year's Pair of revelers who, under the influence, were discovered partaking of each other's good will semi-naked In the middle cell of the garden-level holding facility.
All right, that's it.
Let's roll.
And let's be careful out there.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey! Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, sarge.
I like it when them little chipmunks sing in them high voices like that.
They sing them Christmas songs.
I like that a lot.
Hey.
Hey, come on.
Forget about it.
Don't say that.
Come on, man? J.
D.
, Neal.
Robbery/assault at the hotel Richmond, 3500 block of east utica.
Why can't Washington heights take it? Because it is still our precinct.
Big deal.
Come on, man.
One lousy block.
This is your basic "Bah, humbug.
" Shot up an all-night laundry.
Miracle nobody got hurt.
Had to use tear gas.
No! Take it easy! You got me! Hey, you never heard of "Peace on earth, good will to men, " You little creep? D Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Henry.
Merry Christmas to you, Howard.
Who's your friend? Ho, ho.
Thank you.
Howard I got you a little something for the hospital.
Thank you, Henry.
That's cute.
Howard? Yeah? Is this really the kind of toy We want to be giving to these children? Henry, unlike some knee-jerk, liberal, chicken littles, who believe that toy guns are harmful to a child's psyche, I am convinced that they provide Harmless ventilation for juvenile aggression.
You know, this is really a very nice knockoff, Ballantine.
Judas h.
Christmas.
Dispatch.
We have a 9-11.
Armed robbery in progress.
See surplus store, corner people's drive, 124th street.
You all want to move aside, please? Let me get this poor woman out of here.
Take this thing down.
Make some kind of report, and I'll deal with the suits out here.
Be real careful going down the stairs, and get this thing out.
If you want a motorcycle escort or something, go ahead and ask for it.
They don't need one? What have you got here, renko? The first victim was "Ambulanced" Off to mercy With gunshot and about a dozen knife wounds.
We got a second victim right over there.
Several witnesses describe the perpetrator as either four male latinos, or three male blacks take your pick Fleeing the premises in a light blue or possibly yellow Late-model Ford or Pontiac, take your pick.
Said perps come in assorted heights, weights, distinguishing characteristics, et cetera.
Get 'em over to the station and run 'em through the mug books.
How clever.
Why didn't I think of that? You got a problem with me? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Anybody that brings an attitude like you got to me The day before Christmas is gonna have a problem.
Hey, you want it, you got it.
Let's canvass the neighborhood.
We'll let the guy do his thing.
Come on.
Come on.
Further felicitations of the season to you too, good buddy.
D merry Christmas.
Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas.
- Ho, ho, ho.
- D Christmas tree d.
Merry Christmas, lady.
Ho.
Merry Christmas.
D o Christmas tree o Christmas tree d.
What? You ain't no Santa.
The hell I'm not.
You're too ugly to be a Santa.
Come on, kid.
Take a powder.
Rotate on it, slim.
Hey, hey.
How would you like a nice, crushed vertebra for Christmas, kid? You know what I think? What? I think you're a cop.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm right, ain't I? Just keep it down, will ya? What's the scam here, Jack? Look, kid Here's a couple of bucks.
What do you say? You want to go to a movie or something? Get lost? Come on, beat it.
Check you later, Mr.
policeman.
I am drunk, I am disorderly And I am prepared to be arrested.
Sir, you're not drunk enough, and you're not disorderly enough to be arrested.
Now have a candy cane and get on out of here.
You ain't hearing me, white boy.
I said I wanna be arrested and serve time At the Michigan Avenue complex.
Come on.
Leo? What seems to be the trouble? This guy wants to be arrested So he can have Christmas dinner at the Michigan Avenue complex.
Sir, why don't you just mosey over To Jefferson Avenue men's shelter? They serve up a mighty fine Christmas dinner.
See? You don't know nothin'.
They serve ham over there.
I cannot eat ham.
It "Disconveniences" My stomach.
They serve Turkey At the Michigan Avenue complex.
Well, you're gonna have to commit a substantial misdemeanor Before we can incarcerate you.
You want substantial? I've got your substantial.
Hey, mama! Check this out.
I'm buck naked! Can't somebody arrest this pervert? Insufficient evidence, Mrs.
furillo.
Okay, buck, you win your Turkey.
Come on.
Two of the people from the market were taken over to Saint John's.
Beaten unconscious with baseball bats.
One of them a 65-year-old lady.
Same four guys, lieutenant.
You know, nothing ever changes around here, frank? What? Well, I was just accosted by a naked pervert.
What kind of person does that the day before Christmas? Fay, I have a ton of work to finish before I leave here tonight.
Have you packed frank Jr.
's suitcase yet? Well, frank, I'm having second thoughts.
We're leaving on a 7:00 flight.
It's too late for second thoughts.
Yeah, but what if he gets hurt? He's not gonna get hurt.
It's three days on the bunny slope, not the Swiss alps.
Besides which, it was your idea for us to take him with us So you could go to Bermuda with judge what's his name.
Frank.
Excuse me, Mrs.
furillo.
Frank, bates and coffey brought in two more robbery/assault victims.
Same m.
O.
As the welfare hotel.
God's sake, that's the third one this morning.
And we just got word on another one in the heights.
Let's coordinate with Jack armetta up there.
No sense in duplicating efforts.
Do we have these people going through the mug books? Sure.
Sure.
And I've got rich velasquez working on composites.
Good.
Keep me posted.
Merry Christmas, Mrs.
furillo.
Thank you, ray.
Same to you and Rosa.
Gracias.
Now, frank I have all frank Jr.
's presents right here, but you have to promise me That you'll get a nice little Christmas tree to put them under.
He's had a Christmas tree every year of his he'll have a tree.
And, frank, whatever you do, please, please don't forget to hang his stocking.
It's the first thing he looks for when he gets up on Christmas morning.
And I've already filled it, you know, with little presents And-and candy and things, you know, that But the five-and-dime was out Of those little caramel swirls that he's used to and Fay.
It's it's all right.
Well, it hurts, frank.
You know, it's it's the first year that I won't be with him, and-and with you gone too I hate palm trees at this time of year.
I'll call you at your hotel the moment he starts opening presents So you can be in on it every minute of the time.
Okay? Remember our first Christmas together? I mean, as a family? We were in the lynwood Avenue apartment.
Frank Jr.
was about four months old.
Aw.
I must have spent half the night trying to put that tricycle of his together, and I sat on it for one second and it broke into about 48 pieces.
I think that was our best Christmas ever.
Listen, frank When you get back, do you think we could have Christmas dinner together? I mean, the three of us.
I know it'll be a couple days late, but It'd kind of be like old times.
Yes.
I'd like that a lot.
Bobby? There's a gentleman over by the front desk To see you.
What brings you to town? What brings me to town? What kind of question is that? I'm here to spend Christmas with my one and only son.
What else? And damn, you look good, boy.
You look like aces.
As a matter of fact, you look better than aces.
You look downright flush.
What else brings you to town? Listen at you, boy.
Soundin' like one of these police interrogators.
'Course, now that you mention it, I do have A little end-of-the-fiscal-year business to conduct with some local associates, but primarily, we are talking about a family visit here, son.
Merry Christmas to you, boy.
Go on.
Why do you want to write me a check for $500? Be because it's Christmas.
And I have always said A man can never be too long on a little pocket change come the holidays.
'Course, only 350 of that's for you, the other 100 and a half being sorely needed by your old man.
That is, if you got the spare cash on hand.
On account of that being an out-of-state check, I figured you'd have A lot easier time running it through your neighborhood bank than I would with mine.
But damn, boy, if you ain't gettin' handsomer and handsomer every year.
And they got nerve enough to tell me that you always did favor your mama in that regard.
Look, I gotta go, but now, come punch-out time, I want you to call me at the kenmore hotel And let your old man treat you to some Christmas dinner.
I don't know.
I mean, I Now, Bobby.
Bob.
Don't give me no ifs, ands, buts or whatsoevers.
You call me, boy.
Call me! And, Bobby, don't go spending all of that in one place.
What do you mean, you're not gonna call him? It's Christmas Eve, and he's your old man.
I told you, renko, he's nothin'.
He never acted like my father.
He's not family.
He's nothin'.
I don't understand this mentality.
Just how old were you when he left? About six, I guess.
Four kids, a wife And he never so much as sent us a postcard till six months later.
Every year it's the same damn thing.
Whenever he needs a little traveling money, or whenever the cards or the horses bring him back to town.
I never had the nerve to tell him what I thought of him.
Damn, why doesn't he just leave me alone? Hey, man, don't do that.
That's a gift.
That's $500.
It's bogus, renko.
The man never wrote a good check in 20 years.
So let's just eat.
I'll kick myself till the day I die For not making things right with my daddy before he passed on.
Well, I don't have anything to work out, renko, so let's just drop it, all right? Take my advice, Bobby hill.
You get straight with that man.
You've got to get straight.
He's the only daddy you got.
Look, look we go down to wisniewski's poultry And we buy a nice, fresh Turkey, okay? You can't go wrong with a fresh bird, Neal.
It's a real gesture.
Do you remember that stew I used to date that got pregnant on me? Roxanne? Remember her? Was she steamed up with me? Okay, so it's Thanksgiving, right? I show up at her apartment with a fresh Turkey.
Another guy's there.
She kicks his butt out, we cook the bird.
What a night.
Damn it, j.
D.
, I didn't make this woman pregnant.
I killed her husband.
It was an accident, man.
Give yourself a break.
You know, you're beating yourself up over something I bet she doesn't even hold you responsible for.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Sure I am.
Come on.
Come on.
We'll go down, we'll pick up a bird and we'll be down there.
The gift of food breaks down a lot of emotional barriers.
Creamed sewage on rye.
Good choice, belker.
What's the latest on those crazies, Henry? Three assaults on the hill, two in Jefferson heights.
Guy's going for some kind of record.
Howard.
Henry.
Drugs, no doubt.
Speed, animal tranquilizers, juice.
Doll, can I have a menu? So, tell me, Henry.
What do Jews do at Christmas, anyway? I don't know, Howard.
Go to Miami? Thank you.
I've been invited to dinner at the wolfowitz's home.
I was wondering if there's some sort of a ritual gift? Sweet wine, or perhaps a fruitcake or I'm I'm trying to convince them That I'm the appropriate suitor for their daughter's hand.
Howard.
Intending to take a jewess for my wife.
Right.
What's wrong with that? Nothing.
Nothing at all.
Do the parents know you're Of the Christian faith? Well, I intend to fly my colors, if that's what you mean.
Thank you.
My good woman, do you have the temerity To call this paste gravy? Why, you rotten Nazi slime.
Well, that's a typical female's inability to accept corrective input, Henry.
It's the day before Christmas, my husband has deserted me for a 19-year-old tootsie, my kids never call me, I'm having hot flashes And I made that gravy.
Well, I might have been premature in my judgment, madam.
It's first rate.
I can't stand it anymore.
My compliments to the chef.
I just can't take it.
I wish I was dead.
It's gonna be okay.
Nice goin', crud brain.
Sorry, guys.
No Reggie hill here.
- How about Reggie hilbert? - Nah.
Hilbert Reginald.
Regis Reginald.
- Regis hillstone.
- Hillstone? You lookin' for that bum too? Yeah, well well, sort of.
Well, if you find him, I want a piece of him.
Guy waltzed out of his bill not more than an hour ago.
Even beat me out of the velour towels.
What do you got on him? Bunko? Yeah, bunko, I bet.
L-look, mister harv.
Harv, this is probably our fault.
You see, he probably thought we were hot on his tail, and so he he cut out on it.
Will 25 cover it? Includin' the towels? Towels.
Yeah.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, have a good one yourself.
You like that, Martin? I don't believe this.
I don't believe this.
First he does a number on me, then he says he'll be at the hotel, then he leaves me with the damn bill and goes out the back door.
You got to admire the criminal mastermind, Bobby.
So are we gonna go get him? No! What are you talkin' about? You gonna let it drop just like this, him disappearing? Four possible suspects, male.
Are you gonna let it drop? Green grand prix, last seen headed northbound.
2202 responding.
Over.
Roger, 2202.
We copy.
Come on, renko.
Merry Christmas.
Ho, ho.
D Come on, lady.
You wanna move? Yo, brother! Santa's a cop.
D Move! What's with you? I got free speech.
You little hair bag.
You are coming with me.
I can hold as long as you can.
I'll bet.
Bye.
Who do we have responding, Henry? Hill, renko, Simmons, obradovitch, morley, gemigniani, plus all eastside park on the perimeter.
I think they changed cars.
Now we got a report they are driving a late-model black oldsmobile, no plate.
What's the count? Seven incidents, three shootings.
Thank you.
The lady in the 133rd street robbery just died.
Soon as we get ballistics, distribute citywide.
And keep an open line to mercy.
All right.
How are we coming on the photos, Phil? Some of the victims are in troubled straits, but they're trying.
I sent Mueller over to mercy with some more mug books.
Good.
Sarge? Yes? You wanna take care of this sawed-off little delinquent? He was obstructing an ongoing police operation.
Well who you calling a delinquent? You jarhead you jarhead in a red suit.
Here's the grandmother's address, sarge.
Say, pepe Will you escort young Herman to the "B" Level "Lncarcetorium" While I see if I can locate the legal guardian? Lieutenant? I got a photo I.
D On a kid that I think is still in county.
Joe and I picked this kid up about two weeks ago on a "Burg.
" He pulled 60 days, so he's still in county, right? The week before Christmas? They all walk.
Larue, Washington.
Get going.
You too, bates.
Where? The kid's address is in the heights.
Right.
Good.
Get backups from over there.
Hey, Flynn, keep going with the books here.
Henry, let's run this Rivera through Corrections, gang intervention, b.
C.
I Howard I got it, ray.
Webster, Ballantine, saltoun.
- Police! - Get out of here! You got no business in here, man.
Hey, what are you doing in there? Here.
It's for you.
It's a warrant.
All right, where is he? Who? You know who.
Luis.
I don't know no Luis, man.
Hey! You leave that stuff alone.
Bedroom's clean.
So you don't know Luis? Whose is this gonna be then? You're under arrest, sugar.
This is a bust.
I don't live here.
- This is my cousin Tina's place.
- Hey, looks like a little blow too, babe.
Hey, you're flakin' me, pigs.
You lousy pigs! Come on.
This is my cousin Tina's place.
I told you.
Get out of here! This is my cousin You know the lady died.
You saying I killed some old woman? It's called being an accessory, kid.
It's called harboring a fugitive, obstruction of justice You're 18 now, sugar.
Gloves come off.
- You gotta set my bail, man.
- You're not getting bail, Carmen.
It's Christmas.
You gotta give me bail.
Hey, carmenita, you ever been lost in the system? You know, we put you on a bus with the wrong paperwork.
Maybe takes you three, four days just to get to Michigan Avenue.
What do I know what he does? - You know.
- I don't know.
A guy named Miguel from county.
Dudes he met inside.
More names, Carmen.
Más nombres.
Miguel.
Alonzo.
That's all.
Release her.
Come on.
Come on! Henry, have maris and William follow her, You see, he's my daughter Cynthia's, and she lives in roanoke.
She went to Florida for a few days With her boyfriend for the holidays.
So they sent up Herman.
Herman! Get in here.
Get get back here.
They sent Herman up to me and his papa.
Only his papa's working all the time, and in the meantime he's just going from bad to worse.
Ma'am, I can appreciate the difficulty, but but nothin'.
Either he goes to the belt room and gets a whuppin', or I don't take him home.
Ooh.
"The belt room.
" Yes, and I took my eldest there when he was cuttin' up, and he's a motorman now.
And I brought Charles here well, he got a whuppin' every other week.
But he's a minister, and that was 22 years ago.
Well, you see, the belt room is occupied at the moment.
We have a particular incorrigible Who's being administered, seventy strokes.
I figure a young fella your age, 40, 45 should suffice.
You know, you better hope you get a pillow for Christmas, young fella.
What's the trouble here, sergeant? Well, I'm gonna take this young incorrigible down to the belt room And see if I can effect a little change in attitude.
Well, w-wait a minute you had the last one, didn't you? - That's right, I did, sir.
- Well, I I think I'll have a crack at this one.
Yes, sir.
Sit down.
You gonna whip me? Nah, we don't do that here.
Bull.
I know what goes on in these places.
What I actually wanted to talk to you about was How long you think you're gonna be here.
What do you want to know that for? Till a few days after Christmas, you think? Something like that.
You in school? Yeah, I go.
I heard your grandma out there.
I have a sneaking suspicion Maybe you're mad at some people.
Some people you think maybe don't love you.
Like who? Your mother, maybe? Why did she have to go to Florida with that dude? Maybe she's tired.
Needs a vacation.
I don't know.
I have a little boy too.
He's not gonna be spending Christmas with his mother either.
Why? Does she hate him? No, she doesn't hate him.
She loves him.
It's just that, sometimes, when a mother and a father aren't living together, I-it's hard for them to, explain things right to their kids.
You know? Like, to say they love you When they're not with you all the time.
That's all I wanted to tell you.
Come on.
No, really.
That's all.
That other dude he's gonna whip me? I told you, we don't do that here.
You wanna shake hands instead? If I do, do I gotta be good? No.
You just have to remember how many people love you.
Merry Christmas.
What are you doing here? Mrs.
moldonado, I know it's not anything, but it's the holidays and I thought I bought you a gift.
This how you pay off your guilt? Disgrazia, you killed my husband.
I know I did, ma'am.
But it was an accident.
That's what you say.
Police investigation big deal.
You all stick together.
Ma'am, if I could bring him back, I'd do anything.
Why don't you do yourself a big favor and just get out of here? Because if you're asking me to forgive you, forget about it Because I'll never forgive you.
I wish it were that simple.
I wish you could say something.
Then maybe I could sleep at night.
Truth is, I know I did the right thing.
But that doesn't change the fact that your husband is dead And I killed him.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
I guess I just wanted to make some sort of contact with you To tell you I feel for your loss.
You know what I'm doing tonight? I'm going to stay open until midnight Because people buy a lot of booze on Christmas Eve.
And then I'm going home alone And drink and cry on the couch until I pass out, because it's Christmas And I don't have my husband.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
I really am.
You are so sorry? I'll give you something to be sorry about.
Because I am going to sue you and your entire department's butt off For $3.
2 million.
Tellin', you, Neal okay, men, let's be careful with these costumes.
I've got to return them to Kowalski's just the way they gave them to me.
Let's go, let's go.
We're getting a little late here.
- I'm telling you, it's stupid.
- D.
You took a shot.
So what? Hey, just leave me alone, John.
You want me to go get the Turkey back? It wasn't a Turkey.
It was a damn goose.
All right, whatever, man.
I'll march right in and grab the sucker.
The hell with it.
I'll tell you something.
What you got here What you got is your classic holiday depression syndrome.
- It's strictly seasonal.
- D.
You can populate Toledo with the number of dudes That have blown themselves away over eggnog and mistletoe.
Yeah, that's just what I need right now Some third-rate psychological commentary on the holiday blues.
Man, you don't have clue one to what's eatin' me, so why don't you just do me a favor and button it up for a couple of weeks? - Hey, come on.
- D.
Hey, now, you just hold on a second, pal.
Come on, guys.
It's Christmas Eve.
Go suck on a wreath, coffey.
I've been eating a lot of negative flak off you all day, and it's gotten to wear kind of thin.
You know where the exit is.
Damn it, Hurley, will you turn that off for a minute, man? It's my fault the store owner got blown away? It's my fault his old lady told you to stuff the goose Or Turkey or whatever the hell it is.
Man, you better check the scoreboard Before you start gettin' too righteous with me, because I have covered your sorry butt through more times than I can count Through times when you weren't even fit for a bench in a detox ward And now the one time that I need a little understanding, you can't even Damn it, man, I asked you to turn the damn thing off! Hey, what are you doing? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
All right.
Hey, hey, hey.
Tomorrow tomorrow.
I'll get you one twice as big.
Mind if I join you? How long has it been since the shooting? Three months this Friday.
Have you talked to anybody about it? Furillo? Department psych? Jill, larue, anybody? I didn't think there was any need to, Henry.
I mean I thought with a little time I could Get a handle on it, you know? Have you? It's coming back up on me, Henry.
I'm chokin' on it.
This job's full of guys like you, Neal Want the world to think they got it all under control.
Everything's cool.
No problem, no sweat.
Strong and silent.
Ain't that just part of the profile? Like hell it is.
You know what happens to guys like that, Neal? Guys like you who want to keep it all inside themselves? Sometimes it takes a while years, maybe But sooner or later they lose everything that ever meant anything to them.
Their friends, families, the job.
Maybe they just end up alone in the middle of the night, staring down the barrel of their service .
38.
I-I-i want to talk it out, Henry.
I want to deal with it.
But I just don't know how, man.
All right.
There is a counselor Name of Brennan, out of midtown.
He's helped a lot of guys through this sort of thing.
Go see him, will ya? You got a lot of friends in this department, Neal.
Try to lean on us now and then, will you? St.
Valentine's day massacre, yom kippur war, Christmas Eve, rampage on the hill.
What's it all about, Bobby the holiday motif? Hill, renko your reindeer suits are waiting.
Well, I checked out of the hotel.
Wanted to see when you was gettin' off.
You didn't check out.
You beat 'em for 25 bucks.
I paid it.
Come on, Bobby.
I'd have sent 'em a check in the mail.
I do it all the time, boy.
Now, come on, Bobby.
Have dinner with me tonight.
Forget about it.
There's nothin' here, Reggie.
Now, wait a minute, boy.
Don't you dare call me Reggie.
Good, bad or indifferent, I'm still your father, and don't you ever forget it.
No, you're not.
You never were.
I'm sick and tired of you blowing into my life, churning up old wounds And then getting back on the bus, leaving all over again.
I just want you to leave me alone.
All right, Bobby.
I'll be going.
But listen, Bobby, I I could use a little getting-away cash, if you can spare it.
Bobby, I want you to understand something, son.
I didn't come here just to hurt you, boy.
And I didn't come here just for the money.
Bobby, you gotta understand, son, I'm just a I'm just a travelin' man.
Then do it.
Travel.
Right now.
Bobby, I D jingle bells jingle all the way d d what fun it is to ride d d in a one-horse open sleigh hey d d jingle bells jingle bells d merry Christmas, children.
Merry Christmas! It was the d.
'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the hospital, not a creature was stirring, not even a marsupial.
The tree was all trimmed, and outside it was snowing, but the children were troubled because Santa's not showing.
But wait.
Here's his wife and two of his fairies.
I'll ask them where's Santa, and why is he tarry.
I don't know.
He left the north pole over two days ago.
His sled was all gassed and in tip-top condition.
I gave it a lube and rewired the ignition.
Hey, I'm his personal elf.
I'm worried sick.
He's never this late.
It's not like Saint Nick.
D but hark.
What's that racket? Could it be? No.
Cannot.
- Sounds like a sled.
- Then it's got to be Ho, ho, ho! Santa! All right! Merry Christmas, children.
- Took a wrong turn at Iceland, and two tires I blew.
- Santa! But here I am now with presents for you.
Merry Christmas! Hey, did you see the size of those kids' eyes When we yanked back that curtain? They were like saucers.
Aw, Mick, you were terrific.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Man, am I pumped up.
We gotta do these charity gigs more often.
I know what you mean, man.
I got another benefit I gotta do in just a couple of hours.
Yeah? What's her name, j.
D.
? Loretta.
Sicilian babe.
She is going to go hot with desire over these elf threads.
Hey, Bobby, what have you got going tonight? Well, a bunch of us guys are going over the kubiaks'.
Jakilek's gonna throw a Christmas bash.
Be nice to get these antlers kind of worn down.
Are you gonna come, Mick? No, I can't.
I got a date.
Hey, we all have dates.
Bring her along.
Thanks anyway, but I got a big dinner lined up, and then a party with relatives.
You know.
It's holiday stuff.
All units in the vicinity north and elmwood.
Pursuit in progress of late-model black oldsmobile four-door.
- Hey, listen up.
- Three prior 211s.
Suspects presumed armed and dangerous.
Repeat: All units in the vicinity of north sounds like our boys.
Up ahead, Neal.
Late-model black oldsmobile four-door.
Suspects presumed All right, these crumbs are probably gonna be packing a lot of metal, boys and girls.
Good.
They're gonna need it.
Whoa! Lordy.
It's Christmas Eve and I'm gonna get shot dead in a moose suit.
Grab that thing.
Grab that thing.
Grab that thing.
Come on, get out.
Hold it right there.
Get up.
Get up! Freeze! Freeze! Police.
Freeze.
Shut up and move.
Move in there.
Come on.
That's them.
Those are the ones.
They did it.
They did it.
You animals! You filthy animals.
Everyone in interrogation.
Now! Let's follow procedures here, shall we, gentlemen? Ray, I want all the victims sequestered until we can arrange a lineup.
And I want that done as soon as possible, Henry.
I'm not about to blow this I.
D.
On some logistical screwup.
Yes, sir.
Ray, call the p.
D.
'S office, and get their representation down here.
J.
D.
, Neal, get a jump on the paperwork.
Captain, you promise me You promise me that they're gonna pay for what they did.
Promise me.
We're doing everything we can, Mrs.
Grady.
Any word on Lucy? Coffey rode with her in the ambulance to mercy.
She's in intensive care.
Keep me posted.
Thanks.
Neal, about this afternoon.
Hey, forget it, babe.
I don't wanna, man.
I can be a real meathead sometimes, but your friendship It means more to me than anything.
This is for you.
What's this, man? It's a Christmas present, you melon.
What's it look like? How about we exchange 'em tonight? After dinner? This, some kind of half-assed dinner invitation? I'll call Jill and ask her to set a couple extra plates, okay? You're on.
Hey, I'll bring the goose.
Don.
Don, I won't know that till we have a lineup.
Yeah.
Yes, of course.
Right.
You're a life saver, counselor.
Hot waxed and flat filed.
You're going to be the fastest Italian on snow since Gustavo thoeni.
Who's that? Forget it.
You all set? No, just a couple of details, and I'll be right with you.
Frank, we've gotta go all the way across town to pick up frank Jr.
, and believe me, if we miss this flight We'll be stranded at that airport till easter.
Excuse me, Francis.
Well, Ms.
Davenport, don't we look ravishingly alpine? Thank you, Phil.
Lucy bates is out of intensive care.
It was only a mild concussion.
They're gonna keep her overnight for observation.
That's great, Phil.
Listen, let's send her some flowers from everyone.
I'll pay for them.
All right.
Phil, send the bill to me.
Yes, miss Davenport.
Now what about this unfinished business? We ran a lineup for the first two victims, frank.
So far we're batting a clean 1,000.
Good work, Henry.
We're out of here, counselor.
Frank Chief Daniels on line five.
I think it sounds urgent.
Tell him I've gone skiing, ray.
My kind of man.
Merry Christmas.
D hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah d d hallelujah hallelujah d d hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah d d d for the lord god omnipotent d d reigneth d d hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah hallelujah d d for the lord god omnipotent d d reigneth d d hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah hallelujah d d hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah d I am the ghost of Christmas present.
Look upon me.
You have never seen the like of me before.
I'm not sure I see the like of you now.
- But I hear you.
- I hear you.
So I've heard.
You're the one who's too tight with a penny To buy himself a pair of spectacles.
Come! Come and Hello.
No, I'm sorry.
I think you have the wrong number.
Well, merry Christmas to you too.
Good-bye.
Who is it? Who's there? Is that you, Joe? D holy infant d.
Well, what do you think? Joseph.
Hey, I know it's a little crooked Not to mention being a dwarf But it was practically the last one left in town.
I grabbed it at manggiotta's two minutes before they closed.
It's really beautiful.
It really is.
So how about some eggnog? Come on, luce.
What are you crying for? Don't ask such stupid questions.
What's with the extra blankets? I slipped the orderly a ten-spot So he'd let me spend the night.
What, did you think I was gonna let you spend Christmas Eve by yourself? I'll just pull up a couple of chairs.
The hell you will.
Come here.
Come here and give me a hug.
D Christ our savior d d is born d merry Christmas, luce.
D Christ our savior d d is born d merry Christmas, Joe.
at the Avenue "B" Overpass, rappaport's department store, the Jefferson Avenue mall, and the blue line subway entrance At 118th street and people's drive, respectively.
Item 11: I remind you yet again Of the seasonal increase in suicide, aggravated assault, d&D, and your ever-popular homicide.
Pursuant to these grim realities, I give you item 12.
Now, let's exhibit sound judgment out there today, and hold to a minimum the nuisance-type busts.
Neither this precinct nor the courts it serves Look kindly on a last-minute Cupid, comet, dancer, donder, blitzen, prancer frenzy of Mickey mouse arrests, and attendant paperwork.
The day before Christmas is no time To pad your collar count.
Item 13: The Christmas gift drive For the patients of all angels children's hospital Under the personal supervision of it.
Howard hunter.
Last-minute gifts for these young unfortunates Are being wrapped near the front desk even as we speak, and delivery of same is scheduled at 4:30 P.
M.
Blitzen, comet, donder officers hill, renko, kresky, mankiewitz Dasher.
Coffey, bates and detectives bogburn Larue, Washington, belker and goldblume Cupid, blitzen, dancer Will convene at 4:15 sharp in the parking lot.
For transport to children's hospital, carpooling is recommended.
Appropriate wardrobe for Santa's helpers Has been provided free of charge By Kowalski's costume and party supply rentals.
So, leave us keep these good people in mind When we come upon their delivery trucks Occasionally parked in life's myriad no-loading zones.
Item last: Lieutenant calletano has asked me to remind you Of a little holiday celebration Here in roll call commencing at 6:00 P.
M.
So, as you move off to your various Christmas Eve celebrations, take the moment for some good fellowship, good groceries And non-alcoholic holiday cheer.
I stress "Non-alcoholic" Cupid, dasher and ViXen.
With specific reference to last year's Pair of revelers who, under the influence, were discovered partaking of each other's good will semi-naked In the middle cell of the garden-level holding facility.
All right, that's it.
Let's roll.
And let's be careful out there.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey! Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, sarge.
I like it when them little chipmunks sing in them high voices like that.
They sing them Christmas songs.
I like that a lot.
Hey.
Hey, come on.
Forget about it.
Don't say that.
Come on, man? J.
D.
, Neal.
Robbery/assault at the hotel Richmond, 3500 block of east utica.
Why can't Washington heights take it? Because it is still our precinct.
Big deal.
Come on, man.
One lousy block.
This is your basic "Bah, humbug.
" Shot up an all-night laundry.
Miracle nobody got hurt.
Had to use tear gas.
No! Take it easy! You got me! Hey, you never heard of "Peace on earth, good will to men, " You little creep? D Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Henry.
Merry Christmas to you, Howard.
Who's your friend? Ho, ho.
Thank you.
Howard I got you a little something for the hospital.
Thank you, Henry.
That's cute.
Howard? Yeah? Is this really the kind of toy We want to be giving to these children? Henry, unlike some knee-jerk, liberal, chicken littles, who believe that toy guns are harmful to a child's psyche, I am convinced that they provide Harmless ventilation for juvenile aggression.
You know, this is really a very nice knockoff, Ballantine.
Judas h.
Christmas.
Dispatch.
We have a 9-11.
Armed robbery in progress.
See surplus store, corner people's drive, 124th street.
You all want to move aside, please? Let me get this poor woman out of here.
Take this thing down.
Make some kind of report, and I'll deal with the suits out here.
Be real careful going down the stairs, and get this thing out.
If you want a motorcycle escort or something, go ahead and ask for it.
They don't need one? What have you got here, renko? The first victim was "Ambulanced" Off to mercy With gunshot and about a dozen knife wounds.
We got a second victim right over there.
Several witnesses describe the perpetrator as either four male latinos, or three male blacks take your pick Fleeing the premises in a light blue or possibly yellow Late-model Ford or Pontiac, take your pick.
Said perps come in assorted heights, weights, distinguishing characteristics, et cetera.
Get 'em over to the station and run 'em through the mug books.
How clever.
Why didn't I think of that? You got a problem with me? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Anybody that brings an attitude like you got to me The day before Christmas is gonna have a problem.
Hey, you want it, you got it.
Let's canvass the neighborhood.
We'll let the guy do his thing.
Come on.
Come on.
Further felicitations of the season to you too, good buddy.
D merry Christmas.
Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas.
- Ho, ho, ho.
- D Christmas tree d.
Merry Christmas, lady.
Ho.
Merry Christmas.
D o Christmas tree o Christmas tree d.
What? You ain't no Santa.
The hell I'm not.
You're too ugly to be a Santa.
Come on, kid.
Take a powder.
Rotate on it, slim.
Hey, hey.
How would you like a nice, crushed vertebra for Christmas, kid? You know what I think? What? I think you're a cop.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm right, ain't I? Just keep it down, will ya? What's the scam here, Jack? Look, kid Here's a couple of bucks.
What do you say? You want to go to a movie or something? Get lost? Come on, beat it.
Check you later, Mr.
policeman.
I am drunk, I am disorderly And I am prepared to be arrested.
Sir, you're not drunk enough, and you're not disorderly enough to be arrested.
Now have a candy cane and get on out of here.
You ain't hearing me, white boy.
I said I wanna be arrested and serve time At the Michigan Avenue complex.
Come on.
Leo? What seems to be the trouble? This guy wants to be arrested So he can have Christmas dinner at the Michigan Avenue complex.
Sir, why don't you just mosey over To Jefferson Avenue men's shelter? They serve up a mighty fine Christmas dinner.
See? You don't know nothin'.
They serve ham over there.
I cannot eat ham.
It "Disconveniences" My stomach.
They serve Turkey At the Michigan Avenue complex.
Well, you're gonna have to commit a substantial misdemeanor Before we can incarcerate you.
You want substantial? I've got your substantial.
Hey, mama! Check this out.
I'm buck naked! Can't somebody arrest this pervert? Insufficient evidence, Mrs.
furillo.
Okay, buck, you win your Turkey.
Come on.
Two of the people from the market were taken over to Saint John's.
Beaten unconscious with baseball bats.
One of them a 65-year-old lady.
Same four guys, lieutenant.
You know, nothing ever changes around here, frank? What? Well, I was just accosted by a naked pervert.
What kind of person does that the day before Christmas? Fay, I have a ton of work to finish before I leave here tonight.
Have you packed frank Jr.
's suitcase yet? Well, frank, I'm having second thoughts.
We're leaving on a 7:00 flight.
It's too late for second thoughts.
Yeah, but what if he gets hurt? He's not gonna get hurt.
It's three days on the bunny slope, not the Swiss alps.
Besides which, it was your idea for us to take him with us So you could go to Bermuda with judge what's his name.
Frank.
Excuse me, Mrs.
furillo.
Frank, bates and coffey brought in two more robbery/assault victims.
Same m.
O.
As the welfare hotel.
God's sake, that's the third one this morning.
And we just got word on another one in the heights.
Let's coordinate with Jack armetta up there.
No sense in duplicating efforts.
Do we have these people going through the mug books? Sure.
Sure.
And I've got rich velasquez working on composites.
Good.
Keep me posted.
Merry Christmas, Mrs.
furillo.
Thank you, ray.
Same to you and Rosa.
Gracias.
Now, frank I have all frank Jr.
's presents right here, but you have to promise me That you'll get a nice little Christmas tree to put them under.
He's had a Christmas tree every year of his he'll have a tree.
And, frank, whatever you do, please, please don't forget to hang his stocking.
It's the first thing he looks for when he gets up on Christmas morning.
And I've already filled it, you know, with little presents And-and candy and things, you know, that But the five-and-dime was out Of those little caramel swirls that he's used to and Fay.
It's it's all right.
Well, it hurts, frank.
You know, it's it's the first year that I won't be with him, and-and with you gone too I hate palm trees at this time of year.
I'll call you at your hotel the moment he starts opening presents So you can be in on it every minute of the time.
Okay? Remember our first Christmas together? I mean, as a family? We were in the lynwood Avenue apartment.
Frank Jr.
was about four months old.
Aw.
I must have spent half the night trying to put that tricycle of his together, and I sat on it for one second and it broke into about 48 pieces.
I think that was our best Christmas ever.
Listen, frank When you get back, do you think we could have Christmas dinner together? I mean, the three of us.
I know it'll be a couple days late, but It'd kind of be like old times.
Yes.
I'd like that a lot.
Bobby? There's a gentleman over by the front desk To see you.
What brings you to town? What brings me to town? What kind of question is that? I'm here to spend Christmas with my one and only son.
What else? And damn, you look good, boy.
You look like aces.
As a matter of fact, you look better than aces.
You look downright flush.
What else brings you to town? Listen at you, boy.
Soundin' like one of these police interrogators.
'Course, now that you mention it, I do have A little end-of-the-fiscal-year business to conduct with some local associates, but primarily, we are talking about a family visit here, son.
Merry Christmas to you, boy.
Go on.
Why do you want to write me a check for $500? Be because it's Christmas.
And I have always said A man can never be too long on a little pocket change come the holidays.
'Course, only 350 of that's for you, the other 100 and a half being sorely needed by your old man.
That is, if you got the spare cash on hand.
On account of that being an out-of-state check, I figured you'd have A lot easier time running it through your neighborhood bank than I would with mine.
But damn, boy, if you ain't gettin' handsomer and handsomer every year.
And they got nerve enough to tell me that you always did favor your mama in that regard.
Look, I gotta go, but now, come punch-out time, I want you to call me at the kenmore hotel And let your old man treat you to some Christmas dinner.
I don't know.
I mean, I Now, Bobby.
Bob.
Don't give me no ifs, ands, buts or whatsoevers.
You call me, boy.
Call me! And, Bobby, don't go spending all of that in one place.
What do you mean, you're not gonna call him? It's Christmas Eve, and he's your old man.
I told you, renko, he's nothin'.
He never acted like my father.
He's not family.
He's nothin'.
I don't understand this mentality.
Just how old were you when he left? About six, I guess.
Four kids, a wife And he never so much as sent us a postcard till six months later.
Every year it's the same damn thing.
Whenever he needs a little traveling money, or whenever the cards or the horses bring him back to town.
I never had the nerve to tell him what I thought of him.
Damn, why doesn't he just leave me alone? Hey, man, don't do that.
That's a gift.
That's $500.
It's bogus, renko.
The man never wrote a good check in 20 years.
So let's just eat.
I'll kick myself till the day I die For not making things right with my daddy before he passed on.
Well, I don't have anything to work out, renko, so let's just drop it, all right? Take my advice, Bobby hill.
You get straight with that man.
You've got to get straight.
He's the only daddy you got.
Look, look we go down to wisniewski's poultry And we buy a nice, fresh Turkey, okay? You can't go wrong with a fresh bird, Neal.
It's a real gesture.
Do you remember that stew I used to date that got pregnant on me? Roxanne? Remember her? Was she steamed up with me? Okay, so it's Thanksgiving, right? I show up at her apartment with a fresh Turkey.
Another guy's there.
She kicks his butt out, we cook the bird.
What a night.
Damn it, j.
D.
, I didn't make this woman pregnant.
I killed her husband.
It was an accident, man.
Give yourself a break.
You know, you're beating yourself up over something I bet she doesn't even hold you responsible for.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Sure I am.
Come on.
Come on.
We'll go down, we'll pick up a bird and we'll be down there.
The gift of food breaks down a lot of emotional barriers.
Creamed sewage on rye.
Good choice, belker.
What's the latest on those crazies, Henry? Three assaults on the hill, two in Jefferson heights.
Guy's going for some kind of record.
Howard.
Henry.
Drugs, no doubt.
Speed, animal tranquilizers, juice.
Doll, can I have a menu? So, tell me, Henry.
What do Jews do at Christmas, anyway? I don't know, Howard.
Go to Miami? Thank you.
I've been invited to dinner at the wolfowitz's home.
I was wondering if there's some sort of a ritual gift? Sweet wine, or perhaps a fruitcake or I'm I'm trying to convince them That I'm the appropriate suitor for their daughter's hand.
Howard.
Intending to take a jewess for my wife.
Right.
What's wrong with that? Nothing.
Nothing at all.
Do the parents know you're Of the Christian faith? Well, I intend to fly my colors, if that's what you mean.
Thank you.
My good woman, do you have the temerity To call this paste gravy? Why, you rotten Nazi slime.
Well, that's a typical female's inability to accept corrective input, Henry.
It's the day before Christmas, my husband has deserted me for a 19-year-old tootsie, my kids never call me, I'm having hot flashes And I made that gravy.
Well, I might have been premature in my judgment, madam.
It's first rate.
I can't stand it anymore.
My compliments to the chef.
I just can't take it.
I wish I was dead.
It's gonna be okay.
Nice goin', crud brain.
Sorry, guys.
No Reggie hill here.
- How about Reggie hilbert? - Nah.
Hilbert Reginald.
Regis Reginald.
- Regis hillstone.
- Hillstone? You lookin' for that bum too? Yeah, well well, sort of.
Well, if you find him, I want a piece of him.
Guy waltzed out of his bill not more than an hour ago.
Even beat me out of the velour towels.
What do you got on him? Bunko? Yeah, bunko, I bet.
L-look, mister harv.
Harv, this is probably our fault.
You see, he probably thought we were hot on his tail, and so he he cut out on it.
Will 25 cover it? Includin' the towels? Towels.
Yeah.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, have a good one yourself.
You like that, Martin? I don't believe this.
I don't believe this.
First he does a number on me, then he says he'll be at the hotel, then he leaves me with the damn bill and goes out the back door.
You got to admire the criminal mastermind, Bobby.
So are we gonna go get him? No! What are you talkin' about? You gonna let it drop just like this, him disappearing? Four possible suspects, male.
Are you gonna let it drop? Green grand prix, last seen headed northbound.
2202 responding.
Over.
Roger, 2202.
We copy.
Come on, renko.
Merry Christmas.
Ho, ho.
D Come on, lady.
You wanna move? Yo, brother! Santa's a cop.
D Move! What's with you? I got free speech.
You little hair bag.
You are coming with me.
I can hold as long as you can.
I'll bet.
Bye.
Who do we have responding, Henry? Hill, renko, Simmons, obradovitch, morley, gemigniani, plus all eastside park on the perimeter.
I think they changed cars.
Now we got a report they are driving a late-model black oldsmobile, no plate.
What's the count? Seven incidents, three shootings.
Thank you.
The lady in the 133rd street robbery just died.
Soon as we get ballistics, distribute citywide.
And keep an open line to mercy.
All right.
How are we coming on the photos, Phil? Some of the victims are in troubled straits, but they're trying.
I sent Mueller over to mercy with some more mug books.
Good.
Sarge? Yes? You wanna take care of this sawed-off little delinquent? He was obstructing an ongoing police operation.
Well who you calling a delinquent? You jarhead you jarhead in a red suit.
Here's the grandmother's address, sarge.
Say, pepe Will you escort young Herman to the "B" Level "Lncarcetorium" While I see if I can locate the legal guardian? Lieutenant? I got a photo I.
D On a kid that I think is still in county.
Joe and I picked this kid up about two weeks ago on a "Burg.
" He pulled 60 days, so he's still in county, right? The week before Christmas? They all walk.
Larue, Washington.
Get going.
You too, bates.
Where? The kid's address is in the heights.
Right.
Good.
Get backups from over there.
Hey, Flynn, keep going with the books here.
Henry, let's run this Rivera through Corrections, gang intervention, b.
C.
I Howard I got it, ray.
Webster, Ballantine, saltoun.
- Police! - Get out of here! You got no business in here, man.
Hey, what are you doing in there? Here.
It's for you.
It's a warrant.
All right, where is he? Who? You know who.
Luis.
I don't know no Luis, man.
Hey! You leave that stuff alone.
Bedroom's clean.
So you don't know Luis? Whose is this gonna be then? You're under arrest, sugar.
This is a bust.
I don't live here.
- This is my cousin Tina's place.
- Hey, looks like a little blow too, babe.
Hey, you're flakin' me, pigs.
You lousy pigs! Come on.
This is my cousin Tina's place.
I told you.
Get out of here! This is my cousin You know the lady died.
You saying I killed some old woman? It's called being an accessory, kid.
It's called harboring a fugitive, obstruction of justice You're 18 now, sugar.
Gloves come off.
- You gotta set my bail, man.
- You're not getting bail, Carmen.
It's Christmas.
You gotta give me bail.
Hey, carmenita, you ever been lost in the system? You know, we put you on a bus with the wrong paperwork.
Maybe takes you three, four days just to get to Michigan Avenue.
What do I know what he does? - You know.
- I don't know.
A guy named Miguel from county.
Dudes he met inside.
More names, Carmen.
Más nombres.
Miguel.
Alonzo.
That's all.
Release her.
Come on.
Come on! Henry, have maris and William follow her, You see, he's my daughter Cynthia's, and she lives in roanoke.
She went to Florida for a few days With her boyfriend for the holidays.
So they sent up Herman.
Herman! Get in here.
Get get back here.
They sent Herman up to me and his papa.
Only his papa's working all the time, and in the meantime he's just going from bad to worse.
Ma'am, I can appreciate the difficulty, but but nothin'.
Either he goes to the belt room and gets a whuppin', or I don't take him home.
Ooh.
"The belt room.
" Yes, and I took my eldest there when he was cuttin' up, and he's a motorman now.
And I brought Charles here well, he got a whuppin' every other week.
But he's a minister, and that was 22 years ago.
Well, you see, the belt room is occupied at the moment.
We have a particular incorrigible Who's being administered, seventy strokes.
I figure a young fella your age, 40, 45 should suffice.
You know, you better hope you get a pillow for Christmas, young fella.
What's the trouble here, sergeant? Well, I'm gonna take this young incorrigible down to the belt room And see if I can effect a little change in attitude.
Well, w-wait a minute you had the last one, didn't you? - That's right, I did, sir.
- Well, I I think I'll have a crack at this one.
Yes, sir.
Sit down.
You gonna whip me? Nah, we don't do that here.
Bull.
I know what goes on in these places.
What I actually wanted to talk to you about was How long you think you're gonna be here.
What do you want to know that for? Till a few days after Christmas, you think? Something like that.
You in school? Yeah, I go.
I heard your grandma out there.
I have a sneaking suspicion Maybe you're mad at some people.
Some people you think maybe don't love you.
Like who? Your mother, maybe? Why did she have to go to Florida with that dude? Maybe she's tired.
Needs a vacation.
I don't know.
I have a little boy too.
He's not gonna be spending Christmas with his mother either.
Why? Does she hate him? No, she doesn't hate him.
She loves him.
It's just that, sometimes, when a mother and a father aren't living together, I-it's hard for them to, explain things right to their kids.
You know? Like, to say they love you When they're not with you all the time.
That's all I wanted to tell you.
Come on.
No, really.
That's all.
That other dude he's gonna whip me? I told you, we don't do that here.
You wanna shake hands instead? If I do, do I gotta be good? No.
You just have to remember how many people love you.
Merry Christmas.
What are you doing here? Mrs.
moldonado, I know it's not anything, but it's the holidays and I thought I bought you a gift.
This how you pay off your guilt? Disgrazia, you killed my husband.
I know I did, ma'am.
But it was an accident.
That's what you say.
Police investigation big deal.
You all stick together.
Ma'am, if I could bring him back, I'd do anything.
Why don't you do yourself a big favor and just get out of here? Because if you're asking me to forgive you, forget about it Because I'll never forgive you.
I wish it were that simple.
I wish you could say something.
Then maybe I could sleep at night.
Truth is, I know I did the right thing.
But that doesn't change the fact that your husband is dead And I killed him.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
I guess I just wanted to make some sort of contact with you To tell you I feel for your loss.
You know what I'm doing tonight? I'm going to stay open until midnight Because people buy a lot of booze on Christmas Eve.
And then I'm going home alone And drink and cry on the couch until I pass out, because it's Christmas And I don't have my husband.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
I really am.
You are so sorry? I'll give you something to be sorry about.
Because I am going to sue you and your entire department's butt off For $3.
2 million.
Tellin', you, Neal okay, men, let's be careful with these costumes.
I've got to return them to Kowalski's just the way they gave them to me.
Let's go, let's go.
We're getting a little late here.
- I'm telling you, it's stupid.
- D.
You took a shot.
So what? Hey, just leave me alone, John.
You want me to go get the Turkey back? It wasn't a Turkey.
It was a damn goose.
All right, whatever, man.
I'll march right in and grab the sucker.
The hell with it.
I'll tell you something.
What you got here What you got is your classic holiday depression syndrome.
- It's strictly seasonal.
- D.
You can populate Toledo with the number of dudes That have blown themselves away over eggnog and mistletoe.
Yeah, that's just what I need right now Some third-rate psychological commentary on the holiday blues.
Man, you don't have clue one to what's eatin' me, so why don't you just do me a favor and button it up for a couple of weeks? - Hey, come on.
- D.
Hey, now, you just hold on a second, pal.
Come on, guys.
It's Christmas Eve.
Go suck on a wreath, coffey.
I've been eating a lot of negative flak off you all day, and it's gotten to wear kind of thin.
You know where the exit is.
Damn it, Hurley, will you turn that off for a minute, man? It's my fault the store owner got blown away? It's my fault his old lady told you to stuff the goose Or Turkey or whatever the hell it is.
Man, you better check the scoreboard Before you start gettin' too righteous with me, because I have covered your sorry butt through more times than I can count Through times when you weren't even fit for a bench in a detox ward And now the one time that I need a little understanding, you can't even Damn it, man, I asked you to turn the damn thing off! Hey, what are you doing? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
All right.
Hey, hey, hey.
Tomorrow tomorrow.
I'll get you one twice as big.
Mind if I join you? How long has it been since the shooting? Three months this Friday.
Have you talked to anybody about it? Furillo? Department psych? Jill, larue, anybody? I didn't think there was any need to, Henry.
I mean I thought with a little time I could Get a handle on it, you know? Have you? It's coming back up on me, Henry.
I'm chokin' on it.
This job's full of guys like you, Neal Want the world to think they got it all under control.
Everything's cool.
No problem, no sweat.
Strong and silent.
Ain't that just part of the profile? Like hell it is.
You know what happens to guys like that, Neal? Guys like you who want to keep it all inside themselves? Sometimes it takes a while years, maybe But sooner or later they lose everything that ever meant anything to them.
Their friends, families, the job.
Maybe they just end up alone in the middle of the night, staring down the barrel of their service .
38.
I-I-i want to talk it out, Henry.
I want to deal with it.
But I just don't know how, man.
All right.
There is a counselor Name of Brennan, out of midtown.
He's helped a lot of guys through this sort of thing.
Go see him, will ya? You got a lot of friends in this department, Neal.
Try to lean on us now and then, will you? St.
Valentine's day massacre, yom kippur war, Christmas Eve, rampage on the hill.
What's it all about, Bobby the holiday motif? Hill, renko your reindeer suits are waiting.
Well, I checked out of the hotel.
Wanted to see when you was gettin' off.
You didn't check out.
You beat 'em for 25 bucks.
I paid it.
Come on, Bobby.
I'd have sent 'em a check in the mail.
I do it all the time, boy.
Now, come on, Bobby.
Have dinner with me tonight.
Forget about it.
There's nothin' here, Reggie.
Now, wait a minute, boy.
Don't you dare call me Reggie.
Good, bad or indifferent, I'm still your father, and don't you ever forget it.
No, you're not.
You never were.
I'm sick and tired of you blowing into my life, churning up old wounds And then getting back on the bus, leaving all over again.
I just want you to leave me alone.
All right, Bobby.
I'll be going.
But listen, Bobby, I I could use a little getting-away cash, if you can spare it.
Bobby, I want you to understand something, son.
I didn't come here just to hurt you, boy.
And I didn't come here just for the money.
Bobby, you gotta understand, son, I'm just a I'm just a travelin' man.
Then do it.
Travel.
Right now.
Bobby, I D jingle bells jingle all the way d d what fun it is to ride d d in a one-horse open sleigh hey d d jingle bells jingle bells d merry Christmas, children.
Merry Christmas! It was the d.
'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the hospital, not a creature was stirring, not even a marsupial.
The tree was all trimmed, and outside it was snowing, but the children were troubled because Santa's not showing.
But wait.
Here's his wife and two of his fairies.
I'll ask them where's Santa, and why is he tarry.
I don't know.
He left the north pole over two days ago.
His sled was all gassed and in tip-top condition.
I gave it a lube and rewired the ignition.
Hey, I'm his personal elf.
I'm worried sick.
He's never this late.
It's not like Saint Nick.
D but hark.
What's that racket? Could it be? No.
Cannot.
- Sounds like a sled.
- Then it's got to be Ho, ho, ho! Santa! All right! Merry Christmas, children.
- Took a wrong turn at Iceland, and two tires I blew.
- Santa! But here I am now with presents for you.
Merry Christmas! Hey, did you see the size of those kids' eyes When we yanked back that curtain? They were like saucers.
Aw, Mick, you were terrific.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Man, am I pumped up.
We gotta do these charity gigs more often.
I know what you mean, man.
I got another benefit I gotta do in just a couple of hours.
Yeah? What's her name, j.
D.
? Loretta.
Sicilian babe.
She is going to go hot with desire over these elf threads.
Hey, Bobby, what have you got going tonight? Well, a bunch of us guys are going over the kubiaks'.
Jakilek's gonna throw a Christmas bash.
Be nice to get these antlers kind of worn down.
Are you gonna come, Mick? No, I can't.
I got a date.
Hey, we all have dates.
Bring her along.
Thanks anyway, but I got a big dinner lined up, and then a party with relatives.
You know.
It's holiday stuff.
All units in the vicinity north and elmwood.
Pursuit in progress of late-model black oldsmobile four-door.
- Hey, listen up.
- Three prior 211s.
Suspects presumed armed and dangerous.
Repeat: All units in the vicinity of north sounds like our boys.
Up ahead, Neal.
Late-model black oldsmobile four-door.
Suspects presumed All right, these crumbs are probably gonna be packing a lot of metal, boys and girls.
Good.
They're gonna need it.
Whoa! Lordy.
It's Christmas Eve and I'm gonna get shot dead in a moose suit.
Grab that thing.
Grab that thing.
Grab that thing.
Come on, get out.
Hold it right there.
Get up.
Get up! Freeze! Freeze! Police.
Freeze.
Shut up and move.
Move in there.
Come on.
That's them.
Those are the ones.
They did it.
They did it.
You animals! You filthy animals.
Everyone in interrogation.
Now! Let's follow procedures here, shall we, gentlemen? Ray, I want all the victims sequestered until we can arrange a lineup.
And I want that done as soon as possible, Henry.
I'm not about to blow this I.
D.
On some logistical screwup.
Yes, sir.
Ray, call the p.
D.
'S office, and get their representation down here.
J.
D.
, Neal, get a jump on the paperwork.
Captain, you promise me You promise me that they're gonna pay for what they did.
Promise me.
We're doing everything we can, Mrs.
Grady.
Any word on Lucy? Coffey rode with her in the ambulance to mercy.
She's in intensive care.
Keep me posted.
Thanks.
Neal, about this afternoon.
Hey, forget it, babe.
I don't wanna, man.
I can be a real meathead sometimes, but your friendship It means more to me than anything.
This is for you.
What's this, man? It's a Christmas present, you melon.
What's it look like? How about we exchange 'em tonight? After dinner? This, some kind of half-assed dinner invitation? I'll call Jill and ask her to set a couple extra plates, okay? You're on.
Hey, I'll bring the goose.
Don.
Don, I won't know that till we have a lineup.
Yeah.
Yes, of course.
Right.
You're a life saver, counselor.
Hot waxed and flat filed.
You're going to be the fastest Italian on snow since Gustavo thoeni.
Who's that? Forget it.
You all set? No, just a couple of details, and I'll be right with you.
Frank, we've gotta go all the way across town to pick up frank Jr.
, and believe me, if we miss this flight We'll be stranded at that airport till easter.
Excuse me, Francis.
Well, Ms.
Davenport, don't we look ravishingly alpine? Thank you, Phil.
Lucy bates is out of intensive care.
It was only a mild concussion.
They're gonna keep her overnight for observation.
That's great, Phil.
Listen, let's send her some flowers from everyone.
I'll pay for them.
All right.
Phil, send the bill to me.
Yes, miss Davenport.
Now what about this unfinished business? We ran a lineup for the first two victims, frank.
So far we're batting a clean 1,000.
Good work, Henry.
We're out of here, counselor.
Frank Chief Daniels on line five.
I think it sounds urgent.
Tell him I've gone skiing, ray.
My kind of man.
Merry Christmas.
D hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah d d hallelujah hallelujah d d hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah d d d for the lord god omnipotent d d reigneth d d hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah hallelujah d d for the lord god omnipotent d d reigneth d d hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah hallelujah d d hallelujah, hallelujah d d hallelujah d I am the ghost of Christmas present.
Look upon me.
You have never seen the like of me before.
I'm not sure I see the like of you now.
- But I hear you.
- I hear you.
So I've heard.
You're the one who's too tight with a penny To buy himself a pair of spectacles.
Come! Come and Hello.
No, I'm sorry.
I think you have the wrong number.
Well, merry Christmas to you too.
Good-bye.
Who is it? Who's there? Is that you, Joe? D holy infant d.
Well, what do you think? Joseph.
Hey, I know it's a little crooked Not to mention being a dwarf But it was practically the last one left in town.
I grabbed it at manggiotta's two minutes before they closed.
It's really beautiful.
It really is.
So how about some eggnog? Come on, luce.
What are you crying for? Don't ask such stupid questions.
What's with the extra blankets? I slipped the orderly a ten-spot So he'd let me spend the night.
What, did you think I was gonna let you spend Christmas Eve by yourself? I'll just pull up a couple of chairs.
The hell you will.
Come here.
Come here and give me a hug.
D Christ our savior d d is born d merry Christmas, luce.
D Christ our savior d d is born d merry Christmas, Joe.