Young Sheldon (2017) s04e06 Episode Script

[adult Sheldon] Previously on
Young Sheldon
Hello, I'm Sheldon Cooper.
And this is "Why Sheldon Cooper
Should Go to College."
Which is why I'm proposing
that I live at home,
but enroll full time
to continue my studies with Dr. Sturgis
at East Texas Tech.
Hi, Mary.
I know this must be
a hard decision for you,
but if you let him come here,
I promise we'll take good care of him.
Sheldon Cooper, ready for college.
Ready to change the world.
[Dr. Sturgis] Cut.
If that doesn't convince her,
I don't know what her problem is.
I'm excited to finally use
college ruled paper
and not feel like I'm living a lie.
What's college ruled paper?
The lines are 18% closer together.
College sounds hard.
You won't have to worry about that,
honey.
Okay.
Missy, don't forget
that you have to pick out a present
for that birthday next week.
Mom, it's Melissa now.
Middle school.
Who's Melissa?
Me.
Then who's Missy?
Missy is short for Melissa.
Like how Billy is short for William.
I don't understand.
You know how your real name is William?
I'm Billy.
No, we call you Billy,
but your real name is William.
But my underpants say "Billy" on them.
Mom, is my name William?
Yeah.
Then whose underpants am I wearing?
[theme music playing]
[Pastor Jeff] Thanks again.
Robin is gonna be thrilled with this.
No, don't thank me. Thank Mary.
She's the one who said I had to do it.
Just out of curiosity,
did she also mention helping me
build the crib at some point?
No.
Well, act surprised when she does.
[engine sputtering]
[Georgie] Come on
What do you think you're doing?
Trying to get the bike started.
Why?
So I can ride it.
Like hell you are.
Sorry.
You don't use it.
'Cause your mother won't let me.
And if I can't, you can't.
If I get it running,
can I at least sell it?
No.
But it's just sitting here.
What's the point?
Point is, I said no.
I can't believe someone so lame
even owned a bike like this.
Why are kids such a pain in the ass?
I'm sure yours will be great.
I think this cover
really says who I am now.
That looks like all your notebooks.
Missy got ponies. Melissa gets horses.
[answering machine beeps]
Hello, Coopers, Dr. Sturgis here.
This is a message for Mary.
I have some news
I need to share with you
before Sheldon starts college.
Please call me back.
[beep]
I wonder why he'd wanna
talk to you and not me.
[beep]
Dr. Sturgis again.
If Sheldon happened to hear
that last message
and is wondering why I'd want to speak
to his mother first and not him
excellent question.
It's that kind of curiosity
that makes him a true man of science.
[beep]
I'm a true man of science.
[line ringing]
[Dr. Sturgis] Hello?
Hello, Dr. Sturgis, this is Mary Cooper.
Hi. Thanks for calling me back.
So, what's going on? Everything okay?
Yes, everything is quite good, actually.
Well, for me, that is. Um
Did you know there's a super collider
being built in Waxahachie, Texas?
No.
Do you know what a super collider is?
Not really.
Would you like a crash course,
which is humorous because it involves
particles crashing into each other.
I'd like you to tell me
what this has to do with Sheldon.
Well, that part's less funny.
I've taken a job there.
Hold on.
You're not gonna be around
when Sheldon starts college?
That's a great question.
No.
John, I agreed to let him go
because you were gonna be there
to look after him.
I know.
And I feel terrible about it.
But please understand.
This is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
I couldn't turn it down.
Orientation starts next week.
I'm aware.
Well, I hope that you're ready
to hear him freak out when you tell him.
I was kind of hoping
he'd just be excited
I get to work on the super collider.
Right, because being happy
for other people is where he shines.
A super collider?
Well, you can't say no to that.
I give up.
Ooh, can you get me a bumper sticker?
Did you know
Dr. Sturgis was taking a new job?
What job?
He went to work
on some super collider in Waxahachie.
What do you mean, went?
He's already there.
- When did you hear this?
- He just called.
I was counting on him
to be there for Sheldon.
Well, you'd think
he would have mentioned it to me.
Sheldon says it's okay with him,
but I would certainly feel a lot better
if there were adults there
that I trusted.
Nothing on the answering machine.
He's just a little boy,
and he's gonna be on that big campus
all by himself.
I mean, I know we're not dating anymore,
but I thought we were still friends.
Excuse me?
I think you're focusing
on the wrong part of the story here.
He's little, you're worried.
Please continue.
That sums it up.
Okay.
Missy?
[groans]
What?
Help me with my clothes.
Burn them and get new ones.
Please, it's freshman orientation.
I wanna make a good impression.
Fine.
Which bowtie says
"mature enough to be in college,
but whimsical enough
to discuss which came first,
the Higgs field or the photon"?
They both say
"weird kid who eats alone."
Come on, I know you were concerned
about what you'll wear to middle school.
Show me again.
The blue one, plaid's too busy.
Thanks.
Or don't be the kid in the bow tie.
This is not the day to go crazy.
My son, the college freshman.
I can't believe it.
How can you not believe it?
You had to sign my vaccination form.
Right. So, what do you wanna do first?
I was thinking
we could start at the bookstore,
try and beat the lines.
I agree about the lines.
But what do you mean "we"?
I mean, you and me.
This is my first day.
I can't be seen walking around campus
with my mommy.
Well, it's only orientation.
Yes. And I'm quite capable
of handling everything
that I need to get done today on my own.
I'm sure you are.
I just figured
with Dr. Sturgis not around,
it might be nice if I could be.
No one else's mother is going to be.
You don't know that.
Well, I know mine isn't.
[scoffs]
You might wanna watch the attitude
to the person who's driving you there.
Not all the way there.
Drop me off a block away
so no one sees us together.
Sorry, I am not leaving you alone
your first day.
Yes, you are.
For someone going into college,
you are acting very childish.
Maybe it just appears that way
because you see me with my mommy.
[gasps]
Well, I remember putting
one of these together for Georgie.
It is great having y'all next door.
Did you not hear me
yelling at Georgie last night?
It's okay. I'm sure you'll hear
our little one crying soon enough.
Missy was a crier.
Sheldon just learned to talk and said,
"Father, I have soiled myself."
Well, he's a miracle in his own way.
Well, you just put a positive spin
on everything, don't you?
Kind of goes with the pastor territory.
Okay what if I said,
Mary and I have not had
a real vacation since we had kids?
I like to believe starting a family
will be the most
rewarding adventure of all.
You're good.
[chuckles]
You could not be more wrong,
but you're good.
Can you show me
where the used physics textbooks are?
Follow me.
Normally, I would prefer
a fresh new textbook.
But my father
is a high school football coach,
which is another way
of saying we're poor.
Here you go.
Who owned this? A werewolf?
[woman on radio]
Let's talk about the weather.
It's going to be
a beautiful sunny day today,
with temps reaching a high of 97.
Gross.
In other news,
President Bush will be traveling
to Waxahachie later this month to visit
the site of a new super collider.
Scientists are hopeful
this will lead to
exciting discoveries in the world of
[knock at door]
What?
You said you'd show me
how to hot roll my hair.
Oh, right. You still wanna do that?
You're cranky.
So maybe I shouldn't be putting
hot rollers on your head.
Nah, you're always cranky.
Let's do this.
[Sheldon] Not so bad.
I would've highlighted that.
And someone drew genitals.
Oh. Mrs. Cooper.
Oh, hi.
- Sam.
- Yes, of course.
From Sheldon's physics class.
- How are you?
- I'm good.
Yeah. What brings you here?
Sheldon's freshman orientation.
Oh, sure.
You didn't wanna go with him?
I did, but he made it very clear
that he did not want me
anywhere near him today.
Well, I don't know Sheldon well,
but he can be a little
Rude? Obnoxious? Condescending?
Oh, hey, I do know him.
[both chuckle]
So, are you just gonna sit here?
Well, just until it's time
to drive him home.
Well, I can show you around campus.
No, no, that's okay.
Yeah. No, come on.
I'll buy you a school shirt.
Oh, he would be mortified
to see me wearing one of those.
That's why I'm offering.
Let's go.
Well
[both chuckling]
Wow. You're really getting this
together fast.
I feel like I'm not helping at all.
Come on now, you cut those oranges
into nice little wedges.
I do it for the kids at Sunday school.
They go to town on them.
Did you feel ready
before Georgie was born?
Absolutely. Boy, was I wrong.
Why, getting nervous?
Well, can't get a crib built on my own.
How am I gonna be responsible
for a human life?
You'll figure it out.
Ain't no sense in worrying about it
'cause you never know what
kind of curveballs will come your way.
Guess that's true.
Doctors could tell us
we were having twins,
but they couldn't warn us
we were having a Sheldon.
- You don't think I'm gonna
- No.
They broke the mold.
But you could go the other way
and have a Georgie.
So some terror is called for.
If you highlight everything,
you highlight nothing.
Uh-oh.
Young man, don't move these books,
I have a system.
- How does it look?
- Cute.
Why are you here?
I ran into Sam.
Yes, you're a person I know.
Hey, aren't you supposed
to be getting your ID photo?
I got a little waylaid.
Can I help?
No, everything is perfectly
under control.
And take off that sweatshirt.
You don't go to school here.
See? Worth every penny.
Stay calm, you can make it.
[Sheldon gasps]
Honestly, who drinks a Slurpee
at 11:00 a.m.?
Will this make me look older?
Definitely.
But not like you older, right?
Right.
You still dating that Marcus boy?
Sort of. He went away
with his family for the summer.
Just out of curiosity,
before he left, did he let you know?
Mmm-hmm.
Hmm. Interesting.
And how long before he left
did he tell you?
I don't know, a week?
Hmm. Must be nice.
You hear from him at all?
Yeah, he sent me the cutest postcard.
It was a turtle surfing on a dolphin.
Adorable.
Pulling kind of hard.
I made it. I'm here.
Fill this out and sign
There's a bee on you.
What?
Hey, Sam.
Can I help y'all find anything?
We're good.
Just showing my friend around campus.
Oh, you a new student?
- Actually
- Jason, this is Mary.
Well, hello, Mary.
Allow me to welcome you to our school.
Thank you.
My dorm is doing a
back-to-school barbecue this afternoon.
- Y'all should swing by.
- Sounds fun.
Cool. Braydon Hall,
in the courtyard, one o'clock.
See you there.
Sweet, free food.
Who cares? He thought I was a student.
Okay, smile.
[Sheldon] Just take the picture.
[adult Sheldon]
I had suffered some setbacks.
Butjust as Edison had forged ahead
on electric lighting
without the help of Tesla,
I was going to make it
through orientation
without the help of my mommy.
Even if she did make boo boos
stop hurting.
While I had found inspiration,
courtesy of Thomas Edison,
it was soon replaced
with anger at Whitcomb L. Judson,
inventor of the zipper.
Oh, come on.
What do you think?
I think you're gonna be
a little heartbreaker.
I don't wanna break anyone's heart.
I just wanna look hot.
- Well, that you do.
- Thank you.
And there's nothing wrong
with breaking some hearts.
If you don't do it to them,
they're gonna do it to you.
Why would they do that?
Because sometimes men do things
without thinking
how it's gonna make you feel.
Marcus wouldn't do that.
We're friends.
That don't mean nothing.
You think somebody is your friend,
then they just up and leave
without a word.
But Marcus told me.
"But Marcus told me."
[adult Sheldon]
Like Batman's utility belt
my briefcase was equipped
for any emergency.
I don't know if
the Batpants had a zipper,
but if they did, I could fix it.
Oh, dear.
Two months,
two months till this baby comes.
There's so much I thought
I was gonna do in my life.
I'm sure you've done plenty.
Nothing cool.
Look at you.
You played football, rode a motorcycle.
Well
You save people's souls.
That's neat, right?
It's neat as neat can be.
But you know that's not
what I'm talking about.
[sighs]
Look, being a dad
doesn't mean your life is over.
It just means it's different.
Instead of playing football,
I get to coach it now.
I mean, high school football.
Not college, like I'd hoped.
Instead of a motorcycle,
I drive a truck
to work every single day
to pay the bills.
Endless bills.
What happened to my life?
Orange wedge?
[adult Sheldon] With only seven minutes
until my freshman orientation seminar,
I was in a sticky spot.
Thankfully, I was armed
with an even stickier solution.
["Two Princes" by Spin Doctors playing]
Ah! You made it.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Hey, guys, this is Sam and Mary.
[all cheering]
Well, aren't y'all friendly.
[dean] We are so excited
to have you here today.
This is the most competitive year
we've had for admissions.
So you should feel really good
about your accomplishments.
You belong to an elite group
of scholars
[grunting]
[door slams]
I may not look it, but I'm
the future of physics, so just move on.
- You have kids?
- Three.
- You look amazing.
- Oh!
Two of them are twins.
I don't wanna brag, but natural birth.
- [chuckles]
- Whoa.
I love college.
[both giggling]
[engine starting]
John.
[Dr. Sturgis] Dear Connie,
you may have heard I've taken a job
at the new super collider in Waxahachie.
I wanted to tell you in person,
but I was afraid you'd be upset.
And honestly, I was even more afraid
you wouldn't be.
Oh, John.
This also gives me an excuse
to use my astronaut pen.
I'm not upside down,
but if I was, it would still write.
[Dr. Sturgis chuckles]
[motorcycle engine roaring]
How you doing back there?
I've never felt so alive.
Praise the Lord!
Let's go to Mexico.
[theme music playing]