8 Out Of 10 Cats (2005) s18e01 Episode Script
Series 18, Episode 1
1 This programme contains strong language and adult humour CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Tonight on 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jack on the box - it's Jack Dee.
Radio wonder - it's Gemma Cairney.
And their team captain - Jon Richardson.
And facing them tonight He's made in Chelsea - it's Jamie Laing.
The smile high club - it's Rob Beckett.
And their team captain - Sean Lock.
Now, welcome your host - Jimmy Carr! CHEERING Hello and welcome to 8 Out Of 10 Cats, a show about opinion polls, surveys and statistics.
Did you know, for example, 60% of mums like to get dolled up to do the school run? In Russia, that figure's even higher, as each dolled-up mum contains another smaller mum.
47% of Brits have used a public library in the last 12 months.
I think libraries provide an essential service for people on the high street who need to take a shit.
A third of women choose their own engagement ring because they don't trust their partner's taste.
Well, he chose you.
Right, let's get started.
What Are You Talking About? That's the name of our first round.
It's our panellists' job to guess the British public's top five talking points.
Jon, what do you think the nation have been talking about? UhI mainly do anagrams.
I've forgotten what this shit is now, what do I do? You've to guess what the nation have been talking about.
It is very hard, because I wasn't there for most of the conversations.
OK, Jon, what do you think? - George Clooney got married, didn't he? AUDIENCE: Oooh.
He did get married.
I'll tell you who else is engaged - you.
AUDIENCE: Wooo! Well, Jon, this is What a turnaround, no-one saw this coming, did they? Congratulations, Jon, and if the other half is watching at home - commiserations.
The other halfof me.
- Her indoors.
It is huge news, isn't it? It's big for me, yeah, I wouldn't expect many other people to give a shit, but How did you propose? Obviously Clooney got down on one knee and did the full romantic thing.
I panicked and went down on two knees.
Just to cover your bases.
Squatted romantically.
It is how you got into showbiz, isn't it? The George Clooney wedding, has it given you any ideas for your nuptials? He did a deal with Hello, and I'm pleased to reveal I've done an exclusive deal with Good Housekeeping magazine.
No pictures of the ceremony, but pictures of me tidying up afterwards.
Tell you how to get confetti out of a carpet.
A revealing shoot.
Gemma, are you upset that George Clooney is no longer on the market? I was for a little bit, but they're quite in love and I'm quite into it, I'm a romantic, so it's nice.
Nice.
Did you watch George Clooney's wedding? - I tuned in halfway through.
I thought, "That's nice, nice little wedding "they're having there, in Venice.
" LAUGHTER They only show you the good bits.
Not the bits that go wrong, like the horse and carriage.
It was a disaster, I would imagine.
Venice? It's not safe to walk the streets.
- It's not.
I've been to Venice and I don't like it.
It's a horrible place.
What didn't you like about Venice? I had an argument with my missus, so we ended up in separate gondolas.
Anything you do in Venice is a pain in the arse.
You want a key cut, it's like, oh, God go across this bridge, get in a boat, cross this square, millions of tourists, get in another boat, you get your key cut and come back and go, "Oh, I forgot to do the photocopying.
" It's a pain in the arse, the whole place.
And there's pigeons everywhere.
Right! It is, it's famous for its pigeons.
That's what it's most famous for(!) Pigeons, then canals and then St Mark's Square.
That's the order.
It's an attraction cos everyone gives you seeds to feed the pigeons.
And you take photos of pigeons on you like a scarecrow.
I think they were just using you as a scarecrow, mate.
They stayed in a seven-star hotel, where the ratio of guests to staff is one to one, which sounds horrendous.
What is a seven-star hotel? Does the pool have like a still end and a sparkling end? What level can luxury reach where it deserves seven stars, and is there another level of eight stars? I think the only difference is someone stuck two extra stars and said, "See? It's seven.
" Or it might have been five-star next door to a two-star, they just knocked it through.
Good.
I like the idea that you open the mini bar and there's a little dwarf there with a towel.
"What can I get you to drink?" He must get freezing in there if he's in a fridge all day.
No, he comes up, like Comes down on a pole from a warm area above the fridge.
There's a warm area and he slides down when someone opens the door.
How does he know you're opening the door? He just sees it? The light comes on, he just goes, "Zoom!" He's clinging on in a sweaty, hot room above, and when the door opens he drops straight down, "What do you want to drink, sir?" Let's see if Clooney's wedding is one of the most talked-about things.
Yes, George Clooney has got married.
With stars like Matt Damon, Robert De Niro, Bono and Cindy Crawford attending, the guest list featured the best-loved names in show business - and Bono.
Sean's team, what else do you think the nation have been talking about over the last week? Ahthe cavalcade of mirth and laughter which is the Tory Party Conference.
It kicked off pretty well, two people resigned.
Yes, it was quite lively.
One of them made a decision of conscience about leaving the Tory Party, and the other one made a decision To knock one out.
- To, erm He said apparently he had to resign because he was duped into sending a personal picture to what he thought was a young woman and it turned out was a Mirror journalist.
Brooks Newmark, sounds like a cheap laptop, doesn't he? And it was in his pyjamas.
And that's ruined his career.
Spent his life working his nuts off, and he's blown it all by sending a picture of his By working his nuts off.
- yeah.
If he just sent a picture of himself in his pyjamas, it would be very different, wouldn't it? If you just sent a picture of you in your pyjamas, going And I don't wear pyjamas very often - Only tonight.
- Yeah.
APPLAUSE There's a tendency for things to fall out.
Oh, yeah, you can often I remember one Christmas I got given some pyjamas, and the family were in the living room watching Octopussy or something.
I walked in in my new pyjamas to say, "I'm off to bed now," and I could only tell by the looks of shock and horror on their face that something was amiss.
These things happen in pyjamas, so maybe we're being harsh.
It doesn't actually just happen in pyjamas.
I was walking in Dubai once, coming from the loo at the hotel, and I didn't realise that .
.
my willie was still hanging out my fly.
Did you just do that? Hanging out of your? Yeah, I didn't realise.
I saw my friend and he was going I was like, "What is it?" I looked down and I fell to the floor.
You must be massive! Hats off, well done.
That's not the point here, Jamie.
I've been to the loo a lot of times.
Thanks for sharing.
More frequently than you used to.
I have never forgotten torearrange myself afterwards.
It's never been a thing.
I think I was in a rush, have you ever been in a rush? What, was the place burning down? If it is that urgent that you can't go Unless like you, you have to go Yeah, I can see why that Sean, do you think he should have resigned? Who, him, from Made In Chelsea? Yes.
He should be He should be sacked just for being gullible.
If you are a 56-year-old balding MP from Braintree and you think "God, this fit 20-year-old really wants sex with me," and you don't think, "Hang on a minute" I bet his next quote is, "I don't need my job anyway, cos when "I hear back from this Nigerian Prince "I'm going to be a millionaire.
" If there's one thing you can say in his defence, he did the honourable thing, he resigned immediately, he didn't come out with some story, "Oh, no, you've got it all wrong, "that was a photo from when I was on holiday in India, "it was an elephant coming through some paisley curtains.
" I love the fact he was wearing paisley pyjamas.
Why would you wear pyjamas and send those weird photos? But they sold out of those same pyjamas at Marks & Spencer's.
What lunatic's read this story and thought, "I'm gonna get me some of those pyjamas"? "These aren't just any pyjamas.
"These are take a picture of your cock pyjamas.
" Gemma, you've been to Downing Street, what do you make of Cameron? I didn't, well, I met SamCam.
What were you doing? I won an award and she was on the panel to choose who got them, and then invited us all for a cup of tea.
What a treat, a cup of tea with Samantha Cameron, what did you talk about? We talked about how scary it was that you can get porn so easily online.
- Scary? - Yeah.
We were talking about the internet and how can it be good and bad.
It's all bad, the internet.
Do you reckon? - Yes.
Name me one good thing about the internet? - I can.
- What? There's a video of a pig with a baby monkey on it, running round.
That's not necessarily a good thing.
It is.
You name me one good thing.
The baby monkey's got a coat on.
Before the animal rights people, you could go to the local circus once a year and see Before the animal rights people? You could go to your local circus and see a monkey on a pig.
And they'd be earning a bloody good living.
Sean's views do not necessarily represent Channel 4's.
Jamie, you are incredibly posh.
Do you know any Tories? - I don't.
My brother went to Eton.
They didn't send you there? "This'd be a waste.
" I wasn't clever enough.
Before you go to Eton, you have to take a test to see if you're Rich? - Yeah! APPLAUSE But you do, you have to take a test to see if you are right for Eton.
I got on the B list.
I don't know what that means.
All my friends were on the A list.
The A list The A list is the elite.
I think, isn't that just yes or no? Pretty much.
I didn't go either.
Don't worry about it, it's not held me back.
I had a second cousin who went to Eton.
Really? Caretaker, was he? Let's see if the Tory Party Conference is up there.
Yes, the Tory Party Conference was overshadowed by controversy.
Tory Minister Brooks Newmark resigned after sexting pictures of himself to a journalist.
The picture was said to show a massive cock, with what looked like a tiny penis.
Jon, what else has the nation been talking about? There's cake on telly again.
Cake week, all week, every week, people making a cake for an hour.
I don't have a problem with it.
But I don't really care.
How come you're not a fan of the show? Cos you love cooking.
I would have thought that would be your thing.
- I do, but I like cooking because you get to eat food.
And also, we now know people who like cooking don't watch Bake Off.
When they did doughnuts, the sale of doughnuts in shops went up by 50%.
So all the show is doing, it's not encouraging people to bake, people are just watching it and going, "I'm gonna buy some doughnuts.
" Gemma, do you bake? - No, I'm not very good, I find it a bit boring.
You have to be too precise.
I don't like being precise.
- Me neither.
It's bullshit.
Just see what happens, innit? I was making a cake once and you needed 250g of flour.
I put too much in it, 252.
Carried on.
It was fine.
Turned out all right.
The recent controversy on the show has been about the innuendo.
Do you think there's too much on it, Jon? There's too much in your endo, mate.
I love it, I love an innuendo.
Bet you do.
I think there's something really nice about an innuendo, because only if you're a grown-up, you get it.
There have always been induendos.
Induendos I can see why you are on the B at Eton.
Sorry, what were you saying? Induendos.
What's the word?! Don't worry about it.
- Some of these were maybe too obvious.
Mel and Sue were brilliant, but some maybe crossed the line.
Sue said, "Keep your biscuits erect.
Get those lady fingers soggy.
"Time to slap those baps down.
" Mel and Sue, if you're watching, Jimmy Carr thinks you went too far.
You went too far.
You crossed the line there.
APPLAUSE OK.
Mel said, "We love chunky nuts.
"You know we love chunky nuts on "Bake Off, that's one hell of a snake.
" But to be fair, they're talking about chunky nuts.
It is not like someone's baking a cake and said, "You know what I like? Big dicks.
" If someone has some baps in the oven and you need them to remove the baps from that oven, it is difficult not to say, "Can you get your baps out?" I am so looking forward to the trailer of this show with Jon Richardson saying, "You know what I like? Big dicks.
" The thing that puzzles me, is why are they cooking in a tent? I find that conceptually and texturally, the two textures of the oven and the pipes of the gas going into the oven, and thensurrounded by a tent.
Does that not trouble you in any way? - Where are the plugs? GEMMA LAUGHS Yes! - Where are the plugs? Yeah! I've got a question for Jamie here.
This is a fun fact.
Jamie, it says your great-great-grandfather was a baker and invented the digestive biscuit.
That's correct.
- Fuck off! Jamie.
Think he also did Rich Tea.
Rich tea as well! What else? More! I think my family was a part of McVitie's.
What did he do first, digestives then rich tea? Cos that's a bit of a drop in quality, innit? It would have been, it probably would have been shortbread.
Wish I had the internet.
I just found a use.
I can tell you a fact about biscuits.
You know what it means? JON: "Twice cooked.
" SEAN: Ohhh Twice cooked, did you know that, Rob? Nah, I didn't know that, mate.
Biscuit, twice cooked, "bi-cui", cooked twice.
I don't know what those words mean, mate.
I know what biscuit means, I dunno what bi-cui means.
I've never said, "Do you want to bi-cui me some chips?" Are you that averse to learning? No, I'm not! Someone tries to teach you something, you go, "I'm not even listening to you!" But you can't say bi-cui and pretend they're words I know.
I explained them to you, I went, "Bi - two.
Cui - cooked.
Twice cooked.
" Then you just went, "Ugh, teacher, ugh! "Don't try to teach me!" Let's see if the Bake Off controversy is up there.
That's it for part one, see you after the break.
APPLAUSE Welcome back to 8 Out Of 10 Cats.
We're still trying to guess the most talked about things over the last week.
Sean's team.
They've done a study, the WWF, not wrestling but the wildlife, the little furry creatures' association.
We've got 40% less animals than we had in the past.
Yeah.
This isit's the global wildlife population has halved in the last 40 years.
And it just begs the question for me, who's that crapping on my car, then? LAUGHTER Jamie? I love animals.
OK.
Good.
- I like monkeys.
I think they're sweet.
- Have you ever seen one on the back of a pig? LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I'm a bit worried about these animals, because if all the elephants go, they're going to come after me for ivory.
LAUGHTER Do you know what, the only other I'm just thinking, that is a chess set waiting to happen, your teeth.
Do you know what the only other animal to be able to stand on its head is? - I don't know, no.
It's an elephant.
- Really? I didn't know there was one in the first place.
- Only other animal apart from what? - Humans.
Oh, humans? - When we stand on our heads.
Go on, Jack.
Demonstrate.
That would be showing off.
But LAUGHTER I bet that's not true.
I bet they've not gone round the whole animal kingdom, "Go on" I bet a meerkat could stand on its head.
The other fact, do you know how big a blue whale's penis is? - Uh Yes, I do, it's the size of a small car.
It is apparently eight metres long.
Small car, yeah.
That's a big car, Jimmy.
Eight metres is a fucking lorry! What are you driving? APPLAUSE Gemma, are you an animal lover? I'm not a crazy animal lover but I know loads of people who are so in love with their pets that I couldn't say anything bad about cats or dogs.
They'd be really upset with me.
Do you have a pet? No.
I want one, though.
But I live in London, it's hard, isn't it? Jon, are you distressed by this report that animals are disappearing? Well, it's not great news, is it? We'll have to start being called 4 Out Of 5 Cats cos LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE No Sorry If it's about reduction, it would be 4 Out Of 10.
Wouldn't it? It wouldn't be 4 Out Of 5 because that's the same as 8 Out Of 10.
It is the same.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It should be 4 Out Of 10 Cats.
- No, because there wouldn't be 10 cats.
The joke is that the same percentage would agree with the question asked but we couldn't find 10 cats to ask, so we could only ask 5.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I don't like it when Mummy and Daddy fight.
Is it my fault? What is interesting about when they release these statistics is we eat 60 billion chickens a year.
The sentence I've just said, a thousand chickens died.
I need to stop talking, because chickens are being slaughtered.
To be fair, Nando's is well nice, innit? So LAUGHTER What would make it acceptable is if we could choose the animals that go extinct.
So no-one would worry if wasps disappeared or rats or next door's bloody yapping shih-tzu.
If they got extinct, no-one would mind.
Keep bumblebees, though.
Bumblebees are nice.
Yeah, you can have bumblebees.
I never said do anything to them.
They are just fat wasps, though, aren't they? - True.
No, no.
Big difference.
Are they not fat wasps? You see, you've got the internet, Rob, and rather than find out interesting facts about insects and things, you look at a monkey on a pig.
It is easier for you, isn't it? You just glance at your shirt if you need insect facts.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Do you get a paper list with all the numbers so you can work out what's what? No, actually, I was on a motorcycle display team and I was like that, and these are all the insects that hit my shirt.
Let's have a look and see if the wildlife report is up there.
Yes, the global wildlife population has halved in the last 40 years.
The turtle population has declined by 80% in the last 40 years, or has it? Are they living in a sewer, eating pizza and fighting crime? OK, fingers on buzzers.
One more thing to get.
BUZZER Is it X Factor? SEAN GROANS X Factor's been huge again.
You love that, don't you, Sean? SEAN GROANS AGAIN I'm just hoping, I mean, we've been doing this show for nine years now, and every year we have to do some jokes about X Factor and running a bit thin with my contempt for it.
Do you not think it's a good format to find unhidden talent? No.
It's a terrible format.
They don't ever find any hidden talent.
What people have never realised about X Factor is, when you sing on the final, that is the last gig of your career.
Do you want to give One Direction a call and tell them that? They didn't win, did they? No, they came second.
They did sing in the final.
They didn't win! I proved my point! It's always second.
- Just like the tent, the cakes, the internet.
I'm right.
I'm always right.
Gemma, you're a Radio 1 DJ.
What do you think the X Factor is doing for popular music? Absolutely ruining it.
Do you play any X Factor stuff on the show? We do play artists that have come through X Factor.
We've got the new Ella Henderson and There's a new Ella Henderson? - Yeah.
I didn't even know the old one.
LAUGHTER And One Direction and I don't love X Factor, that's for sure.
It is part of our life and part of our world now, Jimmy.
And you have to accept it.
It's one of the very last things we have left to us if we want to have a second chance in life.
Are you thinking of going on? I'm not thinking of it because I think it would cause even more stress for Louis Walsh.
Why is Louis there? LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Oh, no, that's not I don't think that's fair.
I don't think that's fair.
I think elderly people are a part of our society.
What I want to know is, what does Sinitta do apart from judges' houses? "Sinitta, yeah, Barbados next week, right, speak to you in a year.
" That's it.
She's gone.
Let's have a look at a photo of Sinitta this week.
Oh, God.
- There she is, dressed as her own vagina.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE What is that? You're a stylist.
Talk us through that look.
It is terrifying, but I kind of love it.
It's what people say about my love making.
- Yeah.
OK, let's take a look at one of this year's most entertaining hopefuls.
It's Stevi Ritchie.
# Now I've # Had the time of my life And I owe it all to you CHEERING # Now I've had the time of my life And I owe it all to you! Do you remember there used to be a talent show on years ago called Search For A Star.
Right? Now, they should rename X Factor Hunt For A - BLEEP.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE That's just what it is.
Every year! OK.
Let's have a look and see if X Factor is up there.
Yes, it's X Factor.
This year, Sinitta is in judges' houses and she'll be there until security find her.
Those were the most talked about things over the last week.
But in other news, there have been pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong.
Government forces have tried to intimidate protesters, but the students held firm, playing table tennis and chanting slogans.
It was a Hong Kong ding-dong ping-pong sing-song.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE So at the end of that round, Sean, Rob and Jamie have three points.
Jon, Gemma and Jack have two points.
APPLAUSE That's it for part two.
See you after the break.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Welcome back to 8 Out Of 10 Cats.
Our next round is Pick Of The Polls.
Sean, Rob, Jamie, what do you like the look of? What about the haircut, top-left? Yeah, Kim Jong-un.
OK, so North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has suffered two fractured ankles due to excessively wearing Cuban heels to look taller, so we asked our studio audience So he was wearing Cuban heels to look taller.
You're not paranoid about your height, are you, Sean? - No.
No.
No, because I'm exactly six foot.
How tall are you, Jon? Five, like, nine - ten on a good day.
- Yeah? I've got a little bit of good news for you.
I got you these.
- Yeah! It's the news that I've been waiting for, Jimmy.
Well, they're Cuban heels, but they're in your size.
- Are they? Slip them on and we'll see if you look more sophisticated.
They're pretty good.
- Fabulous.
I think you'll enjoy those.
- I have another fact.
- Awesome.
Apparently, 60% of peopleof millionaires are over six foot two.
Ah.
- Apparently.
Does one tuck the jean in to a Cuban heel? Yes.
- Oh, yeah, definitely! Yeah, you definitely do.
WOLF WHISTLES CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I've got a I've got a new-found respect for you, Jon.
I just think Can you go into the middle, though? - Oh, sure.
Stand on the glowing light in case I don't look like enough of a bell-end back there.
I made a doc about a shoemaker recently, and he's been making shoes for 50 years LAUGHTER I don't think anyone's listening to you.
Jon has dropped a hip and we are mesmerised.
Look at that pelvis.
It's Would you consider a Cuban heel? Would I consider a Cuban heel? The answer has already been made.
Am I six foot, then? Can I stand next to you to see what? Sean, if you can come out Still bigger.
I still look shit.
I just look like a short prick in heels now.
I think you might be, but APPLAUSE I think he might actually be technically a bit special in the height department.
It's fun, isn't it? Jon, I'm five foot eight, and I think we're about the same height No, I think I'm a little bit taller than you, mate.
He says, walking away in his Cuban heels! What were you saying about Cuban heels when Jon was parading around? In the '70s, every fashionable man wore high heels, not even Cuban heels.
Full-on platforms.
It was the ultimate chic.
I wonder where it's gone, because people still try to be out there with their fashion, but men just don't do it any more.
I think it should be brought back.
Can we take a look at YOUR shoes? You're wearing an extraordinary shoe these days, fashion-wise.
Let's have a look at Jamie's shoes.
Just pop them up on the desk.
AUDIENCE: Ooh! I think we can see where the 40% of animals have gone.
Would you suffer for fashion, Jack? I've always been lucky and I've not not had to sort of push the boat out in any way.
Have you had any work done? - No, but I would like to get that number off you later, thank you.
Yeah.
Cos you've had your teeth smashed in, haven't you, and then rebuilt, and then all polished up and shined? We all volunteered for the first bit.
CHEERING APPLAUSE But serious Cos veneers, they smash all your teeth out and they It's an incredibly vain thing to do.
It's like It was about 24 hours of dental work.
Mine are like some kind of colour you paint your hallway in.
Like that.
Mucky White, or whatever.
Weak Mustard.
Do you, um Do you blacken your hair to keep it so black? Um, I dye it.
I think that's the term people are using, I think.
Yeah, I dye my hair.
Do you? What would it be if it wasn't dyed? - It would look awful.
It would look sort of like yours, I suppose.
I've heard of this thing called bleaching bumholes.
- Right I'm pretty sure it's not CALLED that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk in they don't go, "bleaching bum'oles".
Who's ever? I looked at it and went, "Nah, not for me.
" Get that tidied up, maybe.
But also, like - Well, it's a bit gamey, that area, isn't it? LAUGHTER If you have to have it Can you get a bumhole You lost us all on, "It's a bit gamey, that area.
" We're all just taking a moment to process that information.
It's like a bit of your shed you don't clear out.
And you go in there thinking, "Oh, I can't be bothered.
" There's all planks of wood and stuff down there, and someone's spilt some paint.
Urgh! Just chuck some bleach at it.
OK, so would you suffer pain to look good? What do you think our studio audience said, Sean? No, I think they said no.
You don't think they would? They seem like a very sane and sensible bunch.
- You're going no.
What do you think, Jon? I'm going to say yes, because I'm going to wear those heels for the rest of my life, so Ankles schmankles.
OK, I can tell you the answer is yes - 56% of our studio audience would suffer pain to look good.
And The Winner Is is the name of our final round.
Here's your question.
BUZZER When people ask you if they can have a lift back to their place.
A lift And they say, "Are you sure?" And then you're there in your car and they keep saying all the way, "Is this OK? You sure this is OK?" You feel like saying, "No, get out here.
" Because It isn't really OK.
Of COURSE I'm going out of my way.
"Oh, you sure? "You're not going out of your way?" Of COURSE I'm going out of my way! I don't always go past your house on the way back to my house.
Then you've had the You've had the decency to give them a lift back, and then they make some big fuss about not being able to open the car door.
"Oh, how does it open? Which one?" You know.
It's like they're never been in a car before.
You say, "Look, it's just that one.
Get the fuck out!" APPLAUSE So, Gemma, you're on Radio 1, right.
So do people ask you to play records and things? - Oh, yeah, that happens.
That happens a lot.
I spoke to one man two days ago who was up I always try to find out what people are doing.
A lot of people working.
If it's out of choice to be up, I think that's where you find the real interesting people.
All burglars, aren't they? - He was He was breeding spiders, and he was just up, hoping that they mate.
Imagine what the spider Kama Sutra's like - all those legs.
How many different positions they can get into.
They can hold themselves up with webs, can't they? LAUGHTER APPLAUSE OK, most annoying favour people ask for I think it's when people ask if they can borrow, like, a fiver, because you never ask for a fiver back, and so you give out so many fivers and then you've lost 100 quid.
I can tell you, you got the answer right.
The most annoying favour people ask for is to borrow money.
Ah! - Yeah.
END-OF-ROUND BUZZER That sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show, which means the final scores are - Jon, Gemma and Jack have three points.
Sean, Rob and Jamie are the winners with four points! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thanks to all our panellists, studio audience and all of you for watching at home.
That's it from us.
Good night.
Radio wonder - it's Gemma Cairney.
And their team captain - Jon Richardson.
And facing them tonight He's made in Chelsea - it's Jamie Laing.
The smile high club - it's Rob Beckett.
And their team captain - Sean Lock.
Now, welcome your host - Jimmy Carr! CHEERING Hello and welcome to 8 Out Of 10 Cats, a show about opinion polls, surveys and statistics.
Did you know, for example, 60% of mums like to get dolled up to do the school run? In Russia, that figure's even higher, as each dolled-up mum contains another smaller mum.
47% of Brits have used a public library in the last 12 months.
I think libraries provide an essential service for people on the high street who need to take a shit.
A third of women choose their own engagement ring because they don't trust their partner's taste.
Well, he chose you.
Right, let's get started.
What Are You Talking About? That's the name of our first round.
It's our panellists' job to guess the British public's top five talking points.
Jon, what do you think the nation have been talking about? UhI mainly do anagrams.
I've forgotten what this shit is now, what do I do? You've to guess what the nation have been talking about.
It is very hard, because I wasn't there for most of the conversations.
OK, Jon, what do you think? - George Clooney got married, didn't he? AUDIENCE: Oooh.
He did get married.
I'll tell you who else is engaged - you.
AUDIENCE: Wooo! Well, Jon, this is What a turnaround, no-one saw this coming, did they? Congratulations, Jon, and if the other half is watching at home - commiserations.
The other halfof me.
- Her indoors.
It is huge news, isn't it? It's big for me, yeah, I wouldn't expect many other people to give a shit, but How did you propose? Obviously Clooney got down on one knee and did the full romantic thing.
I panicked and went down on two knees.
Just to cover your bases.
Squatted romantically.
It is how you got into showbiz, isn't it? The George Clooney wedding, has it given you any ideas for your nuptials? He did a deal with Hello, and I'm pleased to reveal I've done an exclusive deal with Good Housekeeping magazine.
No pictures of the ceremony, but pictures of me tidying up afterwards.
Tell you how to get confetti out of a carpet.
A revealing shoot.
Gemma, are you upset that George Clooney is no longer on the market? I was for a little bit, but they're quite in love and I'm quite into it, I'm a romantic, so it's nice.
Nice.
Did you watch George Clooney's wedding? - I tuned in halfway through.
I thought, "That's nice, nice little wedding "they're having there, in Venice.
" LAUGHTER They only show you the good bits.
Not the bits that go wrong, like the horse and carriage.
It was a disaster, I would imagine.
Venice? It's not safe to walk the streets.
- It's not.
I've been to Venice and I don't like it.
It's a horrible place.
What didn't you like about Venice? I had an argument with my missus, so we ended up in separate gondolas.
Anything you do in Venice is a pain in the arse.
You want a key cut, it's like, oh, God go across this bridge, get in a boat, cross this square, millions of tourists, get in another boat, you get your key cut and come back and go, "Oh, I forgot to do the photocopying.
" It's a pain in the arse, the whole place.
And there's pigeons everywhere.
Right! It is, it's famous for its pigeons.
That's what it's most famous for(!) Pigeons, then canals and then St Mark's Square.
That's the order.
It's an attraction cos everyone gives you seeds to feed the pigeons.
And you take photos of pigeons on you like a scarecrow.
I think they were just using you as a scarecrow, mate.
They stayed in a seven-star hotel, where the ratio of guests to staff is one to one, which sounds horrendous.
What is a seven-star hotel? Does the pool have like a still end and a sparkling end? What level can luxury reach where it deserves seven stars, and is there another level of eight stars? I think the only difference is someone stuck two extra stars and said, "See? It's seven.
" Or it might have been five-star next door to a two-star, they just knocked it through.
Good.
I like the idea that you open the mini bar and there's a little dwarf there with a towel.
"What can I get you to drink?" He must get freezing in there if he's in a fridge all day.
No, he comes up, like Comes down on a pole from a warm area above the fridge.
There's a warm area and he slides down when someone opens the door.
How does he know you're opening the door? He just sees it? The light comes on, he just goes, "Zoom!" He's clinging on in a sweaty, hot room above, and when the door opens he drops straight down, "What do you want to drink, sir?" Let's see if Clooney's wedding is one of the most talked-about things.
Yes, George Clooney has got married.
With stars like Matt Damon, Robert De Niro, Bono and Cindy Crawford attending, the guest list featured the best-loved names in show business - and Bono.
Sean's team, what else do you think the nation have been talking about over the last week? Ahthe cavalcade of mirth and laughter which is the Tory Party Conference.
It kicked off pretty well, two people resigned.
Yes, it was quite lively.
One of them made a decision of conscience about leaving the Tory Party, and the other one made a decision To knock one out.
- To, erm He said apparently he had to resign because he was duped into sending a personal picture to what he thought was a young woman and it turned out was a Mirror journalist.
Brooks Newmark, sounds like a cheap laptop, doesn't he? And it was in his pyjamas.
And that's ruined his career.
Spent his life working his nuts off, and he's blown it all by sending a picture of his By working his nuts off.
- yeah.
If he just sent a picture of himself in his pyjamas, it would be very different, wouldn't it? If you just sent a picture of you in your pyjamas, going And I don't wear pyjamas very often - Only tonight.
- Yeah.
APPLAUSE There's a tendency for things to fall out.
Oh, yeah, you can often I remember one Christmas I got given some pyjamas, and the family were in the living room watching Octopussy or something.
I walked in in my new pyjamas to say, "I'm off to bed now," and I could only tell by the looks of shock and horror on their face that something was amiss.
These things happen in pyjamas, so maybe we're being harsh.
It doesn't actually just happen in pyjamas.
I was walking in Dubai once, coming from the loo at the hotel, and I didn't realise that .
.
my willie was still hanging out my fly.
Did you just do that? Hanging out of your? Yeah, I didn't realise.
I saw my friend and he was going I was like, "What is it?" I looked down and I fell to the floor.
You must be massive! Hats off, well done.
That's not the point here, Jamie.
I've been to the loo a lot of times.
Thanks for sharing.
More frequently than you used to.
I have never forgotten torearrange myself afterwards.
It's never been a thing.
I think I was in a rush, have you ever been in a rush? What, was the place burning down? If it is that urgent that you can't go Unless like you, you have to go Yeah, I can see why that Sean, do you think he should have resigned? Who, him, from Made In Chelsea? Yes.
He should be He should be sacked just for being gullible.
If you are a 56-year-old balding MP from Braintree and you think "God, this fit 20-year-old really wants sex with me," and you don't think, "Hang on a minute" I bet his next quote is, "I don't need my job anyway, cos when "I hear back from this Nigerian Prince "I'm going to be a millionaire.
" If there's one thing you can say in his defence, he did the honourable thing, he resigned immediately, he didn't come out with some story, "Oh, no, you've got it all wrong, "that was a photo from when I was on holiday in India, "it was an elephant coming through some paisley curtains.
" I love the fact he was wearing paisley pyjamas.
Why would you wear pyjamas and send those weird photos? But they sold out of those same pyjamas at Marks & Spencer's.
What lunatic's read this story and thought, "I'm gonna get me some of those pyjamas"? "These aren't just any pyjamas.
"These are take a picture of your cock pyjamas.
" Gemma, you've been to Downing Street, what do you make of Cameron? I didn't, well, I met SamCam.
What were you doing? I won an award and she was on the panel to choose who got them, and then invited us all for a cup of tea.
What a treat, a cup of tea with Samantha Cameron, what did you talk about? We talked about how scary it was that you can get porn so easily online.
- Scary? - Yeah.
We were talking about the internet and how can it be good and bad.
It's all bad, the internet.
Do you reckon? - Yes.
Name me one good thing about the internet? - I can.
- What? There's a video of a pig with a baby monkey on it, running round.
That's not necessarily a good thing.
It is.
You name me one good thing.
The baby monkey's got a coat on.
Before the animal rights people, you could go to the local circus once a year and see Before the animal rights people? You could go to your local circus and see a monkey on a pig.
And they'd be earning a bloody good living.
Sean's views do not necessarily represent Channel 4's.
Jamie, you are incredibly posh.
Do you know any Tories? - I don't.
My brother went to Eton.
They didn't send you there? "This'd be a waste.
" I wasn't clever enough.
Before you go to Eton, you have to take a test to see if you're Rich? - Yeah! APPLAUSE But you do, you have to take a test to see if you are right for Eton.
I got on the B list.
I don't know what that means.
All my friends were on the A list.
The A list The A list is the elite.
I think, isn't that just yes or no? Pretty much.
I didn't go either.
Don't worry about it, it's not held me back.
I had a second cousin who went to Eton.
Really? Caretaker, was he? Let's see if the Tory Party Conference is up there.
Yes, the Tory Party Conference was overshadowed by controversy.
Tory Minister Brooks Newmark resigned after sexting pictures of himself to a journalist.
The picture was said to show a massive cock, with what looked like a tiny penis.
Jon, what else has the nation been talking about? There's cake on telly again.
Cake week, all week, every week, people making a cake for an hour.
I don't have a problem with it.
But I don't really care.
How come you're not a fan of the show? Cos you love cooking.
I would have thought that would be your thing.
- I do, but I like cooking because you get to eat food.
And also, we now know people who like cooking don't watch Bake Off.
When they did doughnuts, the sale of doughnuts in shops went up by 50%.
So all the show is doing, it's not encouraging people to bake, people are just watching it and going, "I'm gonna buy some doughnuts.
" Gemma, do you bake? - No, I'm not very good, I find it a bit boring.
You have to be too precise.
I don't like being precise.
- Me neither.
It's bullshit.
Just see what happens, innit? I was making a cake once and you needed 250g of flour.
I put too much in it, 252.
Carried on.
It was fine.
Turned out all right.
The recent controversy on the show has been about the innuendo.
Do you think there's too much on it, Jon? There's too much in your endo, mate.
I love it, I love an innuendo.
Bet you do.
I think there's something really nice about an innuendo, because only if you're a grown-up, you get it.
There have always been induendos.
Induendos I can see why you are on the B at Eton.
Sorry, what were you saying? Induendos.
What's the word?! Don't worry about it.
- Some of these were maybe too obvious.
Mel and Sue were brilliant, but some maybe crossed the line.
Sue said, "Keep your biscuits erect.
Get those lady fingers soggy.
"Time to slap those baps down.
" Mel and Sue, if you're watching, Jimmy Carr thinks you went too far.
You went too far.
You crossed the line there.
APPLAUSE OK.
Mel said, "We love chunky nuts.
"You know we love chunky nuts on "Bake Off, that's one hell of a snake.
" But to be fair, they're talking about chunky nuts.
It is not like someone's baking a cake and said, "You know what I like? Big dicks.
" If someone has some baps in the oven and you need them to remove the baps from that oven, it is difficult not to say, "Can you get your baps out?" I am so looking forward to the trailer of this show with Jon Richardson saying, "You know what I like? Big dicks.
" The thing that puzzles me, is why are they cooking in a tent? I find that conceptually and texturally, the two textures of the oven and the pipes of the gas going into the oven, and thensurrounded by a tent.
Does that not trouble you in any way? - Where are the plugs? GEMMA LAUGHS Yes! - Where are the plugs? Yeah! I've got a question for Jamie here.
This is a fun fact.
Jamie, it says your great-great-grandfather was a baker and invented the digestive biscuit.
That's correct.
- Fuck off! Jamie.
Think he also did Rich Tea.
Rich tea as well! What else? More! I think my family was a part of McVitie's.
What did he do first, digestives then rich tea? Cos that's a bit of a drop in quality, innit? It would have been, it probably would have been shortbread.
Wish I had the internet.
I just found a use.
I can tell you a fact about biscuits.
You know what it means? JON: "Twice cooked.
" SEAN: Ohhh Twice cooked, did you know that, Rob? Nah, I didn't know that, mate.
Biscuit, twice cooked, "bi-cui", cooked twice.
I don't know what those words mean, mate.
I know what biscuit means, I dunno what bi-cui means.
I've never said, "Do you want to bi-cui me some chips?" Are you that averse to learning? No, I'm not! Someone tries to teach you something, you go, "I'm not even listening to you!" But you can't say bi-cui and pretend they're words I know.
I explained them to you, I went, "Bi - two.
Cui - cooked.
Twice cooked.
" Then you just went, "Ugh, teacher, ugh! "Don't try to teach me!" Let's see if the Bake Off controversy is up there.
That's it for part one, see you after the break.
APPLAUSE Welcome back to 8 Out Of 10 Cats.
We're still trying to guess the most talked about things over the last week.
Sean's team.
They've done a study, the WWF, not wrestling but the wildlife, the little furry creatures' association.
We've got 40% less animals than we had in the past.
Yeah.
This isit's the global wildlife population has halved in the last 40 years.
And it just begs the question for me, who's that crapping on my car, then? LAUGHTER Jamie? I love animals.
OK.
Good.
- I like monkeys.
I think they're sweet.
- Have you ever seen one on the back of a pig? LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE I'm a bit worried about these animals, because if all the elephants go, they're going to come after me for ivory.
LAUGHTER Do you know what, the only other I'm just thinking, that is a chess set waiting to happen, your teeth.
Do you know what the only other animal to be able to stand on its head is? - I don't know, no.
It's an elephant.
- Really? I didn't know there was one in the first place.
- Only other animal apart from what? - Humans.
Oh, humans? - When we stand on our heads.
Go on, Jack.
Demonstrate.
That would be showing off.
But LAUGHTER I bet that's not true.
I bet they've not gone round the whole animal kingdom, "Go on" I bet a meerkat could stand on its head.
The other fact, do you know how big a blue whale's penis is? - Uh Yes, I do, it's the size of a small car.
It is apparently eight metres long.
Small car, yeah.
That's a big car, Jimmy.
Eight metres is a fucking lorry! What are you driving? APPLAUSE Gemma, are you an animal lover? I'm not a crazy animal lover but I know loads of people who are so in love with their pets that I couldn't say anything bad about cats or dogs.
They'd be really upset with me.
Do you have a pet? No.
I want one, though.
But I live in London, it's hard, isn't it? Jon, are you distressed by this report that animals are disappearing? Well, it's not great news, is it? We'll have to start being called 4 Out Of 5 Cats cos LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE No Sorry If it's about reduction, it would be 4 Out Of 10.
Wouldn't it? It wouldn't be 4 Out Of 5 because that's the same as 8 Out Of 10.
It is the same.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It should be 4 Out Of 10 Cats.
- No, because there wouldn't be 10 cats.
The joke is that the same percentage would agree with the question asked but we couldn't find 10 cats to ask, so we could only ask 5.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I don't like it when Mummy and Daddy fight.
Is it my fault? What is interesting about when they release these statistics is we eat 60 billion chickens a year.
The sentence I've just said, a thousand chickens died.
I need to stop talking, because chickens are being slaughtered.
To be fair, Nando's is well nice, innit? So LAUGHTER What would make it acceptable is if we could choose the animals that go extinct.
So no-one would worry if wasps disappeared or rats or next door's bloody yapping shih-tzu.
If they got extinct, no-one would mind.
Keep bumblebees, though.
Bumblebees are nice.
Yeah, you can have bumblebees.
I never said do anything to them.
They are just fat wasps, though, aren't they? - True.
No, no.
Big difference.
Are they not fat wasps? You see, you've got the internet, Rob, and rather than find out interesting facts about insects and things, you look at a monkey on a pig.
It is easier for you, isn't it? You just glance at your shirt if you need insect facts.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Do you get a paper list with all the numbers so you can work out what's what? No, actually, I was on a motorcycle display team and I was like that, and these are all the insects that hit my shirt.
Let's have a look and see if the wildlife report is up there.
Yes, the global wildlife population has halved in the last 40 years.
The turtle population has declined by 80% in the last 40 years, or has it? Are they living in a sewer, eating pizza and fighting crime? OK, fingers on buzzers.
One more thing to get.
BUZZER Is it X Factor? SEAN GROANS X Factor's been huge again.
You love that, don't you, Sean? SEAN GROANS AGAIN I'm just hoping, I mean, we've been doing this show for nine years now, and every year we have to do some jokes about X Factor and running a bit thin with my contempt for it.
Do you not think it's a good format to find unhidden talent? No.
It's a terrible format.
They don't ever find any hidden talent.
What people have never realised about X Factor is, when you sing on the final, that is the last gig of your career.
Do you want to give One Direction a call and tell them that? They didn't win, did they? No, they came second.
They did sing in the final.
They didn't win! I proved my point! It's always second.
- Just like the tent, the cakes, the internet.
I'm right.
I'm always right.
Gemma, you're a Radio 1 DJ.
What do you think the X Factor is doing for popular music? Absolutely ruining it.
Do you play any X Factor stuff on the show? We do play artists that have come through X Factor.
We've got the new Ella Henderson and There's a new Ella Henderson? - Yeah.
I didn't even know the old one.
LAUGHTER And One Direction and I don't love X Factor, that's for sure.
It is part of our life and part of our world now, Jimmy.
And you have to accept it.
It's one of the very last things we have left to us if we want to have a second chance in life.
Are you thinking of going on? I'm not thinking of it because I think it would cause even more stress for Louis Walsh.
Why is Louis there? LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Oh, no, that's not I don't think that's fair.
I don't think that's fair.
I think elderly people are a part of our society.
What I want to know is, what does Sinitta do apart from judges' houses? "Sinitta, yeah, Barbados next week, right, speak to you in a year.
" That's it.
She's gone.
Let's have a look at a photo of Sinitta this week.
Oh, God.
- There she is, dressed as her own vagina.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE What is that? You're a stylist.
Talk us through that look.
It is terrifying, but I kind of love it.
It's what people say about my love making.
- Yeah.
OK, let's take a look at one of this year's most entertaining hopefuls.
It's Stevi Ritchie.
# Now I've # Had the time of my life And I owe it all to you CHEERING # Now I've had the time of my life And I owe it all to you! Do you remember there used to be a talent show on years ago called Search For A Star.
Right? Now, they should rename X Factor Hunt For A - BLEEP.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE That's just what it is.
Every year! OK.
Let's have a look and see if X Factor is up there.
Yes, it's X Factor.
This year, Sinitta is in judges' houses and she'll be there until security find her.
Those were the most talked about things over the last week.
But in other news, there have been pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong.
Government forces have tried to intimidate protesters, but the students held firm, playing table tennis and chanting slogans.
It was a Hong Kong ding-dong ping-pong sing-song.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE So at the end of that round, Sean, Rob and Jamie have three points.
Jon, Gemma and Jack have two points.
APPLAUSE That's it for part two.
See you after the break.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Welcome back to 8 Out Of 10 Cats.
Our next round is Pick Of The Polls.
Sean, Rob, Jamie, what do you like the look of? What about the haircut, top-left? Yeah, Kim Jong-un.
OK, so North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has suffered two fractured ankles due to excessively wearing Cuban heels to look taller, so we asked our studio audience So he was wearing Cuban heels to look taller.
You're not paranoid about your height, are you, Sean? - No.
No.
No, because I'm exactly six foot.
How tall are you, Jon? Five, like, nine - ten on a good day.
- Yeah? I've got a little bit of good news for you.
I got you these.
- Yeah! It's the news that I've been waiting for, Jimmy.
Well, they're Cuban heels, but they're in your size.
- Are they? Slip them on and we'll see if you look more sophisticated.
They're pretty good.
- Fabulous.
I think you'll enjoy those.
- I have another fact.
- Awesome.
Apparently, 60% of peopleof millionaires are over six foot two.
Ah.
- Apparently.
Does one tuck the jean in to a Cuban heel? Yes.
- Oh, yeah, definitely! Yeah, you definitely do.
WOLF WHISTLES CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I've got a I've got a new-found respect for you, Jon.
I just think Can you go into the middle, though? - Oh, sure.
Stand on the glowing light in case I don't look like enough of a bell-end back there.
I made a doc about a shoemaker recently, and he's been making shoes for 50 years LAUGHTER I don't think anyone's listening to you.
Jon has dropped a hip and we are mesmerised.
Look at that pelvis.
It's Would you consider a Cuban heel? Would I consider a Cuban heel? The answer has already been made.
Am I six foot, then? Can I stand next to you to see what? Sean, if you can come out Still bigger.
I still look shit.
I just look like a short prick in heels now.
I think you might be, but APPLAUSE I think he might actually be technically a bit special in the height department.
It's fun, isn't it? Jon, I'm five foot eight, and I think we're about the same height No, I think I'm a little bit taller than you, mate.
He says, walking away in his Cuban heels! What were you saying about Cuban heels when Jon was parading around? In the '70s, every fashionable man wore high heels, not even Cuban heels.
Full-on platforms.
It was the ultimate chic.
I wonder where it's gone, because people still try to be out there with their fashion, but men just don't do it any more.
I think it should be brought back.
Can we take a look at YOUR shoes? You're wearing an extraordinary shoe these days, fashion-wise.
Let's have a look at Jamie's shoes.
Just pop them up on the desk.
AUDIENCE: Ooh! I think we can see where the 40% of animals have gone.
Would you suffer for fashion, Jack? I've always been lucky and I've not not had to sort of push the boat out in any way.
Have you had any work done? - No, but I would like to get that number off you later, thank you.
Yeah.
Cos you've had your teeth smashed in, haven't you, and then rebuilt, and then all polished up and shined? We all volunteered for the first bit.
CHEERING APPLAUSE But serious Cos veneers, they smash all your teeth out and they It's an incredibly vain thing to do.
It's like It was about 24 hours of dental work.
Mine are like some kind of colour you paint your hallway in.
Like that.
Mucky White, or whatever.
Weak Mustard.
Do you, um Do you blacken your hair to keep it so black? Um, I dye it.
I think that's the term people are using, I think.
Yeah, I dye my hair.
Do you? What would it be if it wasn't dyed? - It would look awful.
It would look sort of like yours, I suppose.
I've heard of this thing called bleaching bumholes.
- Right I'm pretty sure it's not CALLED that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk in they don't go, "bleaching bum'oles".
Who's ever? I looked at it and went, "Nah, not for me.
" Get that tidied up, maybe.
But also, like - Well, it's a bit gamey, that area, isn't it? LAUGHTER If you have to have it Can you get a bumhole You lost us all on, "It's a bit gamey, that area.
" We're all just taking a moment to process that information.
It's like a bit of your shed you don't clear out.
And you go in there thinking, "Oh, I can't be bothered.
" There's all planks of wood and stuff down there, and someone's spilt some paint.
Urgh! Just chuck some bleach at it.
OK, so would you suffer pain to look good? What do you think our studio audience said, Sean? No, I think they said no.
You don't think they would? They seem like a very sane and sensible bunch.
- You're going no.
What do you think, Jon? I'm going to say yes, because I'm going to wear those heels for the rest of my life, so Ankles schmankles.
OK, I can tell you the answer is yes - 56% of our studio audience would suffer pain to look good.
And The Winner Is is the name of our final round.
Here's your question.
BUZZER When people ask you if they can have a lift back to their place.
A lift And they say, "Are you sure?" And then you're there in your car and they keep saying all the way, "Is this OK? You sure this is OK?" You feel like saying, "No, get out here.
" Because It isn't really OK.
Of COURSE I'm going out of my way.
"Oh, you sure? "You're not going out of your way?" Of COURSE I'm going out of my way! I don't always go past your house on the way back to my house.
Then you've had the You've had the decency to give them a lift back, and then they make some big fuss about not being able to open the car door.
"Oh, how does it open? Which one?" You know.
It's like they're never been in a car before.
You say, "Look, it's just that one.
Get the fuck out!" APPLAUSE So, Gemma, you're on Radio 1, right.
So do people ask you to play records and things? - Oh, yeah, that happens.
That happens a lot.
I spoke to one man two days ago who was up I always try to find out what people are doing.
A lot of people working.
If it's out of choice to be up, I think that's where you find the real interesting people.
All burglars, aren't they? - He was He was breeding spiders, and he was just up, hoping that they mate.
Imagine what the spider Kama Sutra's like - all those legs.
How many different positions they can get into.
They can hold themselves up with webs, can't they? LAUGHTER APPLAUSE OK, most annoying favour people ask for I think it's when people ask if they can borrow, like, a fiver, because you never ask for a fiver back, and so you give out so many fivers and then you've lost 100 quid.
I can tell you, you got the answer right.
The most annoying favour people ask for is to borrow money.
Ah! - Yeah.
END-OF-ROUND BUZZER That sound tells me it's the end of the round and the end of the show, which means the final scores are - Jon, Gemma and Jack have three points.
Sean, Rob and Jamie are the winners with four points! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thanks to all our panellists, studio audience and all of you for watching at home.
That's it from us.
Good night.