All Hail King Julien (2014) s05e04 Episode Script

Bridge on the River Mort

1 [ANIMALS CHATTERING] - [MORT GIGGLES] - [SHARK ROARS] - [MORT] I'm okay! - [LAUGHING] [UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC] [MODULATED VOCALIZING] Party! - Who's the king? - King Julien - Who's the king? - King Julien Get down for the get down Everybody party with king who? - King Julien - King who? King Julien Tonight will be forever Let's do it King Julien style [SLO-MO TECHNO MUSIC] Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Y'all tell me who's the king Whoa-oh, whoa-oh All hail King Julien! [SUAVE JAZZY MUSIC] [KING JULIEN] Looking back on the glory days of the KJ Mystery Solving 5 all those years ago I remember what it felt like to be unstoppable.
We'd just solved over 300 mysteries.
We were on top! Tippy top! Of our mystery solving game.
Seemed like we would go on solving mysteries forever, or so I thought, until that fateful day we solved our last.
Now, remember, Mort, you're delicious pie bait to catch the Phantom Ninja Pie Thief.
I'm delicious pie bait! [GIGGLES AND SHRIEKS] All right, KJ Mystery Solving 5! Let's catch this mysterious pie ninja! [HUMS ALONG WITH GUITAR RIFF] I love you too, Keytar.
You are the most important member of our mystery-solving group.
Yes, you are.
Don't argue with me.
[GIGGLES] Hu-rah! Uh, nothing to see here.
Just your average, uh, Phantom Ninja Pie Thief! Uh, hu-rah! - [RUMBLING] - Aw, sheesh! The pie's alive! - [MAURICE GRUNTS] - [CLOVER] Ha! You've been nabbed, pie ninja! You won't take me alive! Not you or your meddling pie! - [WHIMPERS] - Die! [BOTH GRUNTING] - [MORT SCREAMING] - Huh? - [ALL SCREAM] - Ah, sheesh! - [KING JULIEN] No! Keytar! - [MORT SCREAMING] [MOURNFUL ELECTRIC GUITAR NOTE] [KING JULIEN] The pie went over the cliff and with it, my beloved Keytar Oh, and Mort.
The KJ Mystery Solving 5 was done.
The surviving three members went our separate ways.
Hu-rah! [KING JULIEN] And even though it was a long time ago, those emotions still run pretty deep.
Keytar, how I miss you.
Oh, and you other guys, too.
Emotions! Ugh! Don't like 'em.
[KING JULIEN] Emotions were never my thing.
What are they good for anyway? Just then, I heard something.
Something that would change everything! King Julien! [KING JULIEN] It was a dame but not just any dame.
A dame with hands like a pair of hunchbacks wrestling under a sweater.
- [GASPS] - I need the Mystery Solving 5! Sorry, Tammy.
The mystery-solving gang broke up.
Just me now.
What? What happened? Well, it's a long story.
Looking back on the glory days of the KJ Mystery Solving 5 all those years ago - [RECORD SCRATCHES] - King Julien! - I remember what it felt like! - I got a real problem.
Butterfish has gone missing, and I am worried sick.
Poor Todd is beside himself.
He can't eat.
He can't sleep.
Look at him.
Look at him! [KING JULIEN] Something in the kid's soulless, dead-shark eyes - freaked me out so much - [SHUDDERS] [KING JULIEN] I was afraid to turn the case down.
I'll do it, but I got to ask you a few questions.
What is a Butterfish? - I mean, what kind of name is that? - Just find him! [KING JULIEN] Finding a missing Butterfish wasn't a dream case, but I decided to burn a little shoe leather.
First thing I noticed, everything was the wrong color.
My booty didn't look good in black and white.
- [GRUNTING] - [TV STATIC WHINING] - [KING JULIEN] Hmm, that's better.
- [CHUCKLES] [KING JULIEN] Second, I knew Glitterbunz was working the Brundle Man bar mitzvah.
Good place to start asking around.
- [ALL CHEERING] - Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba bar mitzvah Got the rich stuff Stickin' to the on-high plan As little B-B-B-B-B-Brundle Man Junior Becomes a man Wicky-wicky-wicky-wick, check it! Brundle Man-Man-Man-Man-Man-Man Say, Glitterbunz, you know Butterfish? Big man? About yay tall? About yay wide? Uh, are you Koo-Koo-Cocarachi-Machi? Butterfish is the best doorman in the business.
He called in sick today, and just look at this place.
It's full of little [SLURPING] kids! It's a bar mitzvah.
You know, coming-of-age party for preteen Jewish boys? Ah? You don't say? I just thought they were some kind of stunted turtles or something.
[SLURPING] [KING JULIEN] It was a bust.
Nobody had seen the big man.
Just then, I got tossed a lucky break.
- [CHILDREN SHOUTING] - Aah! [KING JULIEN] Almost got run over by a bunch of bar mitzvah kids joyriding in their dad's wagon.
That's when I found him Butterfish.
- Aah! - [KING JULIEN] He wasn't moving.
Looked like he might have bought that old one-way bus ticket to Frankri-la.
Still, I needed to know for sure.
[GRUNTING] [PANTING] - [BELL DINGS] - No! Get away! Aw, man, something ain't right, King J.
They after us! Ain't gonna get me! Get away! Ahh [KING JULIEN] Another case closed.
Time to tell Tammy the good news.
Oh, hello, King Julien.
- Hmm? - How ever so nice to see you.
Tammy, I found Butterfish.
He's running around, ranting and raving, like a lunatic in the jungle.
Oh! Butterfish has been here the whole time, playing a game with Todd.
Todd, come say hello.
Hello, sir.
[WHISPERS] Get me out of here.
Everything is fine here.
[WHISPERS] Please take me with you.
[BUTTERFISH] Todd! Little man, come on back and finish the game.
[KING JULIEN] This didn't make a lot of sense.
How is it that Butterfish is here? Anything else I can do for you, King Julien? So nice to see you.
Come by anytime.
[DOOR SLAMS] - Huh? - [KING JULIEN] Tammy acting sweet? Butterfish knowing Todd's name and the fact that Todd wasn't a little girl? I mean, come on, man.
He knew Todd was a boy.
Something was not right.
Something was very off.
- Don't look at me, Julie.
- Rob? I said, don't look at me.
You can look at me now.
Look at me! Don't I look great? - Yeah, buddy, you look - Shh! Keep it down, Julie.
- They could be watching.
- Who's they? Exactly.
Take this.
Rob, I don't want any of your face-lift leftovers.
Oh, no, Julie, I keep those in a jar at home.
This is something I stumbled on.
- It's the key to the whole thing.
- What whole thing, Rob? Exactly.
Now you're getting it.
- If they knew I had it, whoa, boy.
- [PHONE RINGS] You better hold on to it, in case something bad happens to the old Rob-a-roono.
Don't be silly, Rob.
What bad thing could possibly happen? Hey-ya, Rob! - The phone's for you.
- Thanks, Jimmy.
Hello? Hello? Oh, shellac my bones and call me Ginger! They found me! Oh! Ohh! [GRUNTING] [SHUDDERS AND WHIMPERS] They got Rob! [WHIMPERING] Okay, get it together, Julien.
Who's to say what you saw? [CHUCKLES] Go to your happy place.
You can do this.
Happy place.
[KING JULIEN] All those horrible things that happened to Rob could have been accidents, right? He was always accident-prone.
Yeah, accidents.
I thought a little stroll amongst my peeps might put me in a better mood.
Boy, was I wrong 'cause I saw Ah! Rob! Hiya, Julie.
[STAMMERING] But I watched you get exploded! I don't know what you're talking about, old chum.
- But - [LAUGHS STIFFLY] Nothing like that happened to me.
I was never there.
[STAMMERING] You gave me this.
Ha ha, ha! I think you should hand that over to me, Julie.
You might get hurt.
[SLURPS] Better do as Rob says, King Julien.
That is right, King J.
Hand that over, and nobody gets hurt.
Hand it over, ding-dong.
Make it go easy on yourself, man.
King Julien.
King Julien.
King Julien.
King Julien.
[KING JULIEN] I had a real mystery on my hands now.
[GULPS] I needed all the help I could get.
Time to put the mystery-solving team back together! [AMY] I want it.
- I am sorry, Princess.
- But I want it.
- But I made this hat myself.
- I want that hat! Do you know how many hours it took to stitch on each individual piece of glitter with these claws? [GASPS] Simply ages.
I don't care! I want it! - Enforcer? - Yes, Princess! Sorry! What Amy wants, Amy gets! Be brave, be brave Oh, okay, take it.
Just take it.
Clover, I know Mort dying and all was pretty traumatic, but the kingdom needs you.
I need you.
We need the KJ Mystery Solving 5.
Oh, thank Frank.
I've missed that life so much! I'm coming with you, King Julien.
[LAUGHS] Well, let's go, then! Ugh.
[KING JULIEN] Now that I had Clover, we needed to find Maurice.
Last I'd heard, he'd gone home to the Aye-Aye Kingdom, working in a jive joint.
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING] [MAURICE] I am just an aye-aye, yeah Groovy, groovy aye-aye, yeah Gonna move my thigh-igh Gonna make you fly-y Poking out your eye-eye 'Cause I am such an aye-aye, aye-aye, yeah Bricky, I love you! [KING JULIEN] Seeing Mo-Mo onstage filled me with got to admit emotions, ranging from disgust to Ugh! Show us your musk gland! [STRAINING] Excuse me, ladies.
Royal personage coming through.
Stop the music! Stop it! [MAURICE GRUNTING AND GROWLING] Maurice, I don't know how to tell you this, but your show is canceled.
- Really? - I need you to help solve the mystery that's happening right now in the Lemur Kingdom.
I'm not coming back, Your Majesty, and I'm not Maurice.
I go by my natural-born aye-aye name now Bricky.
And this is my place.
Bought it off my sister, Brosalind.
First, that name is just stupid.
Second, your name isn't Bricky.
It's Maurice.
Say it.
Maurice! - Bricky.
- No, it's with a M.
It's like Mauuuu-reee - Bricky! - You are Maurice! - Bricky! - Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo-Mo - Maurice-reese-reese-reese! - Bricky, Bricky, Bricky! [OVERLAPPING ARGUING] - It's Mo-Mo! - I said Bricky! Fine! That's how it is? You think these ladies love you? Ha! Or they just love you for your booty.
Like an object.
You are being objectified.
But if they see a better booty, they will leave you.
Booty love is a fickle love, Mo-Mo! Fi-i-i-i-ckle! Nothing doing, Your Majesty.
I am never leaving here! Not as long as this place is still standing.
Now that the gang is back together, we can start with this clue.
[TIMO] Well, I have to say, this is not a mystery at all.
It is nothing.
[TIMO] I wish I could help you out, King Julien.
But I cannot.
I will just hold on to this, though.
- [CHUCKLES STIFFLY] - Hold on there, egghead.
That chip is our only clue to this mystery.
Must not touch.
Must not touch.
- [GRUNTS] - Must destroy.
Must destroy.
His creepy eyes! [MAURICE] No! - [COMPUTER BEEPING] - [BOTH SCREAMING] [ALL GRUNTING] [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] [ALARM BLARING] [EXPLOSION, GLASS SHATTERING] What in the Vicar's closet is Timo was a robot? Which would explain why all the people attacked King Julien.
They're all robots! But he exploded! It seems that heightened states of emotion are the key to destroying these robots.
[KING JULIEN] Emotions.
It had to be emotions.
We needed to test Clover's theory.
And I knew exactly the lemur-bot for the job.
Must find King Julien.
Get your face-lifts! Uh, get your robot face-lifts right here! That's right.
Robot face-lifts are free today.
I say, I say, step right up, sir.
Oh, you look amazing, but, uh, you can always look more amazing, am I right? Am I right? You know I'm right.
I like face-lifts.
I like face-lifts.
Well, good for you.
- The doctor will see you now.
- I like face-lifts.
[HUMMING] The booty is in the toilet.
Booty in the toilet! [BOTH GRUNT] Now, let's test out this emotion theory.
Enough emotion should make Rob explode.
All right.
[CLEARS THROAT] Eat this, Rob-bot.
[RAPPING] My name is Clover! I hail from Dover! - I kick you flankers - Hmm Eh-eh-eh, uh, not so sure anger is working.
- What? - I got a better idea.
Watch this.
Maurice, I want you to look at something very closely.
Look at the kitten, Maurice.
- I don't wanna.
- It's very simple.
- You just look at it.
- Nuh-uh.
- You know, just take a glance.
- I don't wanna.
- So cute.
You have to see it, really.
- I don't wanna.
Look at it! - So - Look at it! - cute! - Look at it.
Oh, its little furry head and those big eyes.
Do you smell that? [SNIFFING] - Uh, it is an outhouse, Clover.
- No, it's coffee.
[GASPS] Poo-coffee! There's only one person that could smell like poo-coffee.
Willie! - Karl.
- Right, Karl, that's what I meant.
[KING JULIEN] And so we set out to confront Karl and get to the bottom of this robot mystery once and for all.
It was quiet, too quiet.
Then - [FLATULENCE] - Hmm? [FARTING] Sorry.
Hanging out with my aye-aye relations really got the old musk gland working, you know? Well, keep it to yourself, buddy.
I mean, seriously.
Something's not right.
Everything is right.
Right as rain! Wouldn't you agree, Chauncey? [CHAUNCEY CHIRPING] All right, Karl, what have you done with my peoples? Isn't it obvious, Julien? I've replaced them all with robots.
- [ALARM BLARING] - [ROBOTS] King Julien! King Julien! [JET PACKS WHOOSHING] [KARL] You see, Julien, I learned a little something from the whole endeavor of me helping you rescue your kingdom from Koto.
The one thing you care about more than your kingdom is your people in it.
And thus, in my most genius and diabolical move, I have struck at the very heart of you by kidnapping all your peoples and locking them up! - [LAUGHING EVILLY] - [ALL CHATTERING] Look, I have robot replacements for Maurice and Clover as well.
That's horrible.
This is the end! I want you to witness the horror - of seeing your own people destroy you! - [ALARM BLARING] With their blank, lifeless, robotic eyes! I am not going down without a fight! [GRUNTING] - [ELECTRONIC CHIRPING] - Aah! [GRUNTING] [WHIMPERING, WAILING] [BOTH WHIMPERING] [GRUNTS] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] Ow! [BOTH SHRIEKING] [ALL MOANING] [KING JULIEN GROANING] Huh? Huh? - [MAURICE CRYING] - Ah [GASPS] Aah! It's so beautiful, Chauncey! My masterpiece! Robot Butterfish, please finish this! Got to go to work.
Got to go to work.
Got to go to work.
Got to go to work [TENSE MUSIC] Mo-Mo, it's all up to you now.
I need you to cry, buddy.
Here, look at this! Huh? No cute cat pictures.
No cute cat pictures.
Oh, quick, Mo-Mo, look! [GRUNTING] Mm-hmm.
That's the last one.
[KING JULIEN] There was absolutely no hope for us now.
It was all over.
[MORT] For my king! [GRUNTING] I'm sorry I'm late.
Keytar and I were stuck in that pie for years.
Keytar! You're alive! Yes! Oh, and, Mort, you little tree worm! Ha ha! You're not dead either.
You said my name! Whee! [MORT SCREAMING] [MORT] Oh, it's really, really hot! Oh, no, wait.
I found the cold spot, I think [SCREAMING] [KING JULIEN] We were in a jam, a pickle, a conundrum, a rock and another rock and a really hard place.
There was only one way we were gonna survive.
I had to make Mo-Mo squirt those tears.
- [WHIMPERING] - Mo-Mo, check it.
Um, if this is the end, I just want to sing you this one last song.
Oh, my dear brother Mo-Mo You got to know-know Life is a story about feeling [STIRRING ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF] I can show you pics Of bunnies and beavers Makin' your tears overachievers Got a cute chipmunk saying, "Hey, what's up?" Let the waterworks flow Come on, Buttercup Hurry up, Mo-Mo, we're all gonna die Unless you start squirting those tears tears from your eyes Check it out, Mo-Mo.
You remember this? Oh, we were crazy back then, weren't we? Oh, look at this one.
[LAUGHS] My hair looks sweet.
Hey, what about this one? Remem Oh, lookit! Oh, yeah! Cry like a woman, cry like a man Put those tiny tear streaks Down your spray-on tan Cry like a baby, cry like a god Cry like you're feeling it Deep in your bod Way to go, Mo-Mo We ain't gonna die Because you started Squirt-squirt-squirtin' Those tears from your eyes [ROBOT SCREAMS] - [MAURICE SNIFFLING] - Oh, look, Karl.
All your robots seem to have blown up.
Like [BABBLING] Boom! [BABBLING] Yes, uh, Julien, in hindsight, I really shouldn't have bought those secondhand emotional regulator chips.
You would think I would have learned my lesson! - [BABBLING] - [ALL GASP] [KARL] You may have foiled my plan with all your singing and squirty tears, but, of course, this isn't over! Not yet at least! So you see, that's why I couldn't get out of bed this morning.
I was, like, totally exhausted.
But but I did learn a valuable lesson.
Emotions are important.
You shouldn't just ignore them.
I finally understand what they're good for.
Emotions blow up robots! They do! Um, none of that actually happened, Your Majesty.
No, Clo-Clo, but it could have.
It could have.
That was a very silly story, Your Majesty.
- Thank Frank none of it was real.
- [GROANS] [GIGGLES] - [BABBLES] - [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES] - [MACHINERY HUMMING] - [CACKLES] [KING JULIEN] Oh, my dear brother Mo-Mo You got to know-know Life is a story about feeling [STIRRING ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF] I can show you pics of bunnies and beavers Makin' your tears overachievers Got a cute chipmunk saying, "Hey, what's up?" Let the waterworks flow Come on, Buttercup