All Rise (2019) s01e05 Episode Script

Devotees in the Courthouse of Love

1 Previously on "All Rise" Got a very expensive defense attorney waiting for me in my office.
- Amy Quinn.
- How'd you know? That smile.
You always had a thing for Quinn.
- Not true.
- Okay, not true.
If we found out you had something to do with this, Amy, you won't just be disbarred.
You'll go to jail.
Well, that's a big gun.
I thought we liked each other.
Emily Lopez-Batista.
Not all double-barrel names work, but yours does.
For the record, my name is Emily Lopez.
- Where'd the Batista go? - He's living with his mother.
- I like you.
- I like you.
There's gonna be a divorce.
I don't know how much time I Em, whatever works for you works for me, okay? Em.
Put your bag on the belt, sir.
Symbol of a doomed marriage.
Is that your engagement ring? - He wants it back.
- And you couldn't resist.
Can we talk about something else? You had to try it on one last time.
Like how I have to cross-examine a priest today? - First time for everything.
- My question is why you left it on.
I know it's not a sin to cross-examine a priest, but does the judge? Does God? Tell me it's not because you've changed your mind.
It is like a literal sea of love.
I like Wedding Day.
They don't know what they're getting into.
- Are you nervous? - No! Benner does this PR thing.
Civilians running around, taking all the parking spaces, throwing bouquets, flowers everywhere.
- Like bridal bouquets? - Yeah.
You should see what they try and sneak through security with.
- You never told me.
- Once a year.
- We weren't together a year ago.
- Sounds fun.
Is it fun? If you like getting married.
So my last meeting with the skin care company is at 3.
What time do you think you'll be done? Mm, early, I hope.
Depends on how this preliminary hearing goes.
Well, by the end of the day, I should officially be a brand ambassador.
- Hey.
- We can celebrate.
Sounds good.
Go out to dinner, grab some bubbles.
- I'd like to get married.
- Now? No.
But sometime.
Can we not do this today? I'm not doing anything.
Can I kiss you now? 'Cause I need to get to court.
Oh.
You know I really dig you, right? I really dig you.
Oh.
Drive safe.
Oh, babe, I love you so much.
You look amazing! Well, we should.
It's our wedding day.
- We're excited! - Sara, I have to meet with my client.
All right.
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Also, I haven't changed my mind.
Then why are you still He proposed.
I accepted.
It's mine.
That's the deal.
Emily, you're getting a divorce.
- He says it's a family heirloom.
- Then you should give it back.
Except he lies a lot.
Also, I can't.
It's stuck.
In this matter, the imposition of sentence is suspended, and you are placed on 36 months' formal probation under the following terms and conditions - pay a fine of $500.
- Your Honor, that ain't right.
Mr.
Owens, you've done a decent job of representing yourself.
Don't ruin it.
Selling marijuana is illegal without a license.
Impossible for a man like me to get a license - when most go to big white corporations.
- Mr.
Owens They got me when I was coming up as a kid.
And now that I'm going down the other side, they got me again.
Impossible for a man like It's impossible for a man like me to have a chance.
The court will allow extra time for payment of fines and court costs.
Court costs, too? With respect, why does Your Honor think a man like me was selling weed in the first place? Am I dismissed, Your Honor? Your Honor.
The man has a point.
What are the court costs anyway? - Your Honor? - Court costs on this case.
They change all the time.
The clerk's office Gonna wander over there and stretch my legs a bit.
- Your Honor has a bench trial.
- In 30 minutes.
I can call down to the clerk and have them send I'm feeling a little hemmed in.
I want to get my steps in and take in - the Wedding Day sights.
- A judge out there is like a butterfly landing on your hand.
Judges are strongly discouraged from using public areas of the courthouse.
Not a law, not even a rule.
No.
Accepted wisdom.
Deputy Watkins, does it seem right to you that judges are imprisoned in their chambers, cut off from the general public and the carrot cake muffins in the cafeteria? I can run and get that muffin for you, if you like.
You're more afraid of her than me? Fine.
Maybe I'll go later.
Lola Carmichael is one of the fairest judges in the building.
- Is she Catholic? - I-I don't have any idea.
- If she is, I'm dead.
- The prosecution's case - is almost entirely circumstantial.
- Yeah, but if the Church wants to blame someone, it usually works.
Felony grand theft? 100 grand? Our goal is just to raise reasonable doubt.
Well, it isn't possible for one person to skim that much.
But you don't believe me because I was because I lived on Skid Row, because I've stolen before, because of the hair? I had a shaved head in high school.
Your hair doesn't bother me.
And what I don't believe is that you've told me everything I need to know to properly defend you.
It's not too late.
Give me a list of your friends.
I can find at least one character witness.
I either ripped them off or owe them money.
- Family, then.
- Told you I don't have any, not since I ran away.
Just the sister.
The same sister who's testifying against you? We need to get in there.
The prosecution has asked that the court not be fooled.
They are saying, in fact, that my client's religious garments are nothing more than a ruse and that Sister Phoebe must have $100,000 hidden under her habit somewhere because, as I will demonstrate, Your Honor, - they haven't bothered to look - No! Anywhere else.
My wife, who's not yet I really need to make her my wife, but right now she's in labor big-time.
- I'll call the paramedics.
- Judge Benner isn't here yet.
Your Honor, can you We need to be married before the baby's born.
Ohh.
And my water broke.
This kid wants out, but not before I get that ring.
Ooh.
Let's get you comfortable.
Let's give them some room, people.
- What are your names? - I'm Ryan.
- Corina.
- Judge Carmichael.
Lola.
Is that a nun? I can't get married by a nun.
My grandmother's Orthodox.
She'll kill me! May I offer my services at Atheist Reverend CXR301? No! It absolutely has to be a nondenominational ceremony.
- Judge Carmichael? - I got you.
Have you done this before, Your Honor? No, but I'm feeling inspired.
Where are the rings? Give me your hands.
We form this circle to celebrate the people who have created this little miracle about to enter this world.
It's the day that you promise to yourselves and to this little child to live in love.
No matter what happens between the two of you, you will always share something.
May you forever take comfort in this romance! Ohh! Thank you, Judge Carmichael.
Not done yet.
Do you and you? - I do.
- I do.
You are now husband and wife.
Oh.
Wait.
It's tradition.
Seriously, get to the hospital.
Callan.
I scooped this case when I saw you were the prosecutor.
Amy Quinn.
Nice to see you.
Thought it might be a fun rematch.
- Hmm.
- This is Mark Callan, our nemesis.
- I'm Margo.
- I know.
Your client's guilty.
Way to get ahead of yourself.
This isn't even a trial.
She's a serial dine and dasher.
She stuck 12 men with huge bills.
They're sitting right there.
It's called dating, not felony extortion.
And 12 is a little overkill for a preliminary hearing.
I'll make you a bet.
It's just a prelim.
If Judge Laski throws extortion out or bounces it, you buy dinner.
If he allows us to go to trial, I buy dinner.
I don't gamble with the lives of defendants, Amy.
Oh, I don't mind.
I like a bit of fun.
- Thanks, but no.
- Okay.
I don't need any incentive to kick your ass.
I'll do it for free.
See you in there, counselor.
Gentlemen.
Just got the word.
We will be back any minute now.
Happy to resume battle with Ms.
Lopez-Batista.
Lopez.
It's just Lopez.
It It's not staying.
- Sorry.
What? - The ring.
- Just forget it.
- Okay.
I have to wait for mine.
I'm a novice.
I don't become a bride of Christ till my commitment ceremony.
Then I get a ring.
Unless I go to jail.
Then I get excommunicated, which means it's your job to make sure I don't leave our Lord at the altar.
I will do everything I can.
All rise.
Then about a year ago, we put Sister Phoebe in charge of the Sunday cash donations.
So she had access to the money.
That's right.
We had to do an audit.
I hate math.
Baptisms are easier.
It showed revenues were below historical averages.
The pattern started shortly after Sister Phoebe was given those responsibilities.
Thank you, sir Father.
Ms.
Lopez? Father Vincent, when you met my client, what did you think? I mean, the hair, her checkered past.
We don't usually pick our future nuns off the street, but she was honest about her complications with the law.
And she settled, found her vocation.
Not shy, that one.
She challenged my homily on the homeless and addiction.
She was right.
You like Phoebe.
You trusted her.
I did, before she stole from us.
- Move to strike.
- Sustained.
Did you find any evidence when you searched her room? Cash, expensive purchases? - No.
- And yet you assume this young woman would risk her vocation and life that she is so fiercely committed to.
Objection.
Speculation.
Withdrawn.
The donations Who handles the cash between the parishioners and the bank? Could you provide names? Well, there are a few ushers, volunteers, our accountant.
I can get you the list.
So Phoebe isn't the only person who had access to the money.
- No.
- Just the only one you picked up off the street.
She winked at me.
So that's how the defendant first made contact.
Yeah.
She She winked at me on the dating site, then we messaged a bit, then, uh, then she asked me out to dinner.
- And how'd that make you feel? - I'd kind of given up on being, I don't know, whatever, attractive to anybody ever, so yeah, it felt good.
She liked me.
Tell us about your dinner.
Margo told me to order anything I liked.
She ordered the wine, a 2010 Burgundy.
I remember 'cause I kept staring at the bill after, thinking, who pays this much for a bottle of freakin' wine? I guess I did.
$918.
35.
I am so sorry that happened to you, Colin.
No further questions.
Ms.
Quinn, care to cross? I'd love to, Your Honor.
Ahem.
So you messaged with Margo.
Is that because you thought she was attractive? Yes.
Yeah.
And you said that you'd given up on love.
That's horrible.
No one should have to feel that way.
- I haven't been out since.
- I understand.
Colin, before your date with Margo, how long had it been since you had sex? I mean, with another person.
- Objection.
- Overruled.
Colin, did you use the phrase "sticking it to the soufflé" that night when talking to my client? Did you say that's what you were gonna do to her after dinner? That you would stick it to her? - Objection! - Sit down, Callan.
I'm looking forward to the answer to that question.
It was just I didn't I didn't mean it to be disgusting like you just said! - I was trying - No wonder she left early.
Verbally assaulted like this? I mean, who knows what would have happened if she had stuck around for dessert? No more questions, Your Honor.
Step down, Mr.
O'Mara.
Well, all this talk about food and drink has got my stomach all grumbly.
Lunch recess.
Back at 1:30.
You should come over tonight.
I've got tools that'll snap that sucker right off.
I used to have a rosary.
I still have mine from when I was baptized.
Reminds me of my abuelita.
- Sister.
- That your next victim? Sister Miranda.
Parish accountant.
Taking apart a priest and a nun you better find that rosary.
She doesn't look well.
See you back in there.
Congratulations.
Sister Miranda, you testified as the parish accountant that Phoebe had direct access to the collection monies.
Did you ever actually see her take any cash? I did not.
Do the sisters at your church have your own income? A small allowance.
I save up mine for action movies.
Isn't it true that Phoebe gives hers away? Objection.
Relevance.
My client has been accused of taking money.
I think it's relevant if she's known to be giving it away.
Overruled.
You may answer.
When we met, she was living on the street and so angry but also so kind.
If somebody needed it and Phoebe had it, she was always giving more than she has.
Under direct examination, you said that you never heard my client complaining about not having money.
One of our vows is poverty.
She went from a tent to an abbey.
She was grateful.
You also testified that you saw her argue with Father Vincent about how the church's money was being allocated.
Father Vincent planned to renovate the rectory.
She wanted all our resources to go where it mattered - Skid Row.
- You've dedicated yourself to a life of service to the poor.
- What do you think of the rectory? - Objection.
Relevance.
- Ms.
Lopez.
- The DDA is suggesting that a nun had motive to steal money that was intended to fix the rectory.
- Your Honor.
- Maybe others share the same motive.
Like a group nun heist? Your Honor It goes to reasonable doubt.
That's the relevance, Your Honor.
Overruled.
Sister Miranda, knowing my client as you do, out of all the ushers and volunteers, - isn't it possible that one - No.
Uh Phoebe says it wasn't her.
You say it wasn't them.
According to Father Vincent, the only other person who had access is the accountant.
Sister Miranda, aren't you the church accountant? Objection.
Sister Miranda isn't the nun on trial here.
It's a simple question, Your Honor.
I - Maybe it's time - Hold that thought.
Counsel, approach the bench.
My obligation is to the fairness of this process, not the outcome, but it appears your witness was about to either incriminate herself or commit perjury.
Fifth Amendment, Mr.
Berger.
I appreciate Your Honor's wisdom.
- Move to dismiss, Your Honor.
- The charges stand.
I said "either.
" You two figure out which one it is, and we'll come back after our lunch recess.
Who knew nuns could be so dramatic? I did.
Where's Judge Benner? There's a long line of the great unwed outside her courtroom waiting to get hitched.
- Apparently, she's late.
- Better not be much longer.
- The brides are getting restless.
- It's not like her.
Wedding Day's a special day for Judge Benner.
I always thought the whole thing was a bit weird.
Well, nice but weird.
I like it very much.
Every other day of the year, the people who come to this building are having one of the worst days of their lives.
Today we get to be part of one of the best.
I always knew it.
You're actually all soft inside.
Your Honor Y Your Honor.
Oh.
Going to the clerk's office.
You haven't see me.
Your Honor! - Where is she? - I haven't seen her.
Why didn't you let me submit Miranda as a character witness? Because Father Vincent told her to testify for the prosecution.
Or is it because you didn't want me to figure out - that she was the one who actually stole the money? - Is that our judge? I No, I don't Maybe.
They don't usually let them out here.
I think it was her.
Phoebe, why are you taking the fall for Miranda? I'm not.
I'm standing trial for a crime I didn't commit.
You don't want to know what I was doing on the street.
Sister Miranda Sister Miranda brought me into the church.
Early on, she could have busted me on a parole violation.
Literally caught me with my hand in her purse.
But she forgave me.
She saved me.
- That's no reason to - She's sick.
Sister Miranda won't last six months in jail.
Off the record, what is up with your client? Margo Baxter is like Katharine Hepburn stuck in an episode of "Happy Days.
" The Beckett play? No.
The '70s sitcom set in the '50s.
How old are you? My dad used to watch the reruns.
- Let's make a deal! - You first.
Three years' probation, 30 days Caltrans freeway cleanup.
- Oh, that's sweet.
- That's the best I can Wait.
Sweet? I can picture you sitting on your daddy's lap watching TV, eating chips.
- Yeah.
- It's sweet.
- No, that never happened.
- No deal.
Drop the charges.
Your client systematically lured these men to the most expensive restaurants in Los Angeles with the intent to extort them for money - in the form of wine, food - Those men expected to pay.
That's the thing.
No, they didn't.
Margo invited them.
She made the reservation.
She told them to order whatever they wanted.
Then she had her fill of food and drink, made an excuse, left the table, and never came back.
She is from an era when men and women Are you seriously using 19th century gender norms as your defense? Is that your girlfriend? What? Yeah.
- You make a cute couple.
- Thanks.
Who picked up the tab on your first date? Margo Baxter is a grifter, and you know that.
Ah, I should check in with the office.
If you promise not to bogart my sandwich, I promise to come back with a real sentencing offer.
Deal? Okay, babe, I'll see you inside! Number 57, ticket, please.
I don't have one.
I'm a judge.
Lola Carmichael, Department 61.
Did you take a number? - I did not.
- Then I cannot help you.
I just need to ask you a couple of questions.
You're not a judge.
Judges are not allowed down here.
Not even a law.
Accepted wisdom.
I left my badge.
It's in my chambers.
Look me up Judge Lola Carmichael, Department 61.
Sherri Kansky is my JA.
You're Sherri's judge.
Right.
Right.
Funny.
That's so funny.
What's so Sorry.
What's so funny? The way she described you, I thought you'd be What can I do for you, Your Honor? I need to ask you about court costs.
Okay.
Sister Miranda, I was hoping we could Sorry.
First, I'm sorry if if I was a little pushy when you were on the stand.
You were only doing your job, Ms.
Lopez, conjuring a defense for your client.
Were you able to speak with Mr.
Berger, the DDA? Briefly.
I apologized for any damage I may have done to his his case.
I lost my head a little, which seems to be happening these days.
He was very forgiving.
Would you like me to suggest, or maybe your church can help you find, a lawyer? Am I under arrest? Sister Miranda, you need to confess and return that money so we can stop this trial.
- Is Phoebe okay? - She's scared.
And I think she doesn't want to let you down.
So she didn't send you.
That young woman has a great faith and a fire.
We're not all built like that.
Sister Miranda, please.
Will you just come with me and talk to her? Phoebe needs your help.
Judge Carmichael needs to know the truth.
Phoebe, you're innocent.
If Sister Miranda confesses and returns the money, there's a chance no one will be prosecuted.
Phoebe, maybe we should listen.
No, we're both innocent.
You said all we needed is reasonable doubt.
Phoebe, why risk this? You found a home, a life, and now you're willing to throw it away.
- I have faith.
- Faith won't get you acquitted.
No.
You will.
And our Lord.
I have faith in you both.
I promise you the truth is your life raft.
Put your faith in the truth.
Miranda, help me.
Trust me.
She isn't guilty of any crime.
That money is for the church, and the church is the people.
Right now Sister Miranda is She's sick, Ms.
Lopez.
I'm not going to let you or Father Vincent or anyone else add to her suffering or hurt her in any way.
You are my lawyer, and I'm innocent.
I'm instructing you to defend me.
Afternoon, counselor.
I officiated my first marriage and almost delivered a baby this morning.
- What you been up to? - Lola Uh Judge Carmichael, what the hell are you doing out here? There's no law that says that a judge can't go and get - a muffin when she needs one.
- No, there's not.
But, uh Have you checked out the court costs lately? Your Honor, are you sure this is a good idea? $28.
A penalty of $28 is applied to every $10 or less an individual is fined.
Does Sherri know you're out here? That's nearly two times the cost of the fine itself.
I bang my gavel, and boom, a $500 fine increases to $1,400 just like that.
I actually have a preliminary hearing I need to get to.
- It's not right.
- Can we, uh, can we talk later? Yeah.
I need to get going, too.
All right.
Aw.
Judge Carmichael.
Judge Carmichael, I need to talk to you.
You sent my husband to prison.
- Now I got my son up on charges? - I apologize.
I don't know what case you're referring to.
No kidding.
You don't care what happens to us because you in all your wisdom took his only dad away from him.
- You need to stop yelling.
- How many lives you ruined today? - Come with me.
- Get off of me.
Off of me! Get off of me! - Come on.
- Stop it! Let me go! Let me go! This isn't right.
This isn't right! Your Honor, what are you I needed to stretch my legs.
Not so sure that was such a good idea.
So now I'm taking a breather.
- What's up? - Long story.
Thanks.
Did you get married in a church, Your Honor? We did.
So did we.
Made our vows before God.
I know no one cares about divorce or anything anymore.
I know it's I know the statistics, but I I don't like breaking my promises.
You didn't break anything, Emily.
He did.
Oh, no.
Not to Joe.
You don't have to worry.
I get that.
I just I-I mean To God? My family? My friends? I stood up there, and I This sounds really weird, doesn't it? I think I've just been hanging out with nuns too much.
Your Honor.
Anyone who knows you knows you do the right thing.
See you back in court, Ms.
Lopez.
Respect for the institution, Your Honor.
- Ooh.
- These aren't empty traditions.
They have a purpose, and you have been in this courthouse long enough Sherri, can I interrupt this lecture - to ask you a question? - As long as we keep moving.
What's the formula for converting an unpaid fine - into jail time? - $150 equals 1 day, Your Honor.
So for every $150 in unpaid fines, I can convert that to a defendant spending one day in county jail? Correct, as long as the fine equals no less than 15 days in jail.
Meaning I can't throw someone in the slammer - for a parking ticket.
- Eye on the ball, Your Honor.
There is still a rogue nun to deal with.
I need you to contact Mr.
Owens from this morning.
Tell him I need to see him back in court.
Certainly.
Callan, still salty about lunch? You gonna charge me with felony pranking? - Ha.
- Remind me, how many - of your victims in the hallway bailed? - A few.
Ah.
Good thing you didn't take that bet.
She has expensive tastes.
You should put your client on the stand.
I'd love to talk to her when she's under oath.
It's a preliminary hearing, remember? That's the part where you show me all your cards.
And she holds hers close to her chest.
All rise.
Department 61 of the Los Angeles Supreme That's all right.
I think they know.
Sorry for the delay.
I needed to pop over to Judge Benner's courtroom and clear out a few happy couples.
Mr.
Callan, what else you got? Your Honor, the People call Detective Curtis Perry to the stand, the lead investigator in the case.
Ms.
Lopez, you may resume your cross.
Mr.
Lopez.
Any more questions? No further questions, Your Honor.
Mr.
Berger? Um No redirect.
No additional witnesses.
People rest, Your Honor.
Witness may step down.
Thank you.
What's the plan now? Ms.
Lopez, any witnesses? The defense calls Sister Phoebe McKenzie - to the stand, Your Honor.
- What? God helps those who help themselves.
You're gonna go up there, and we're gonna convince the judge that you're innocent because you are.
That's the plan.
Felony extortion.
Define extortion for us, detective.
Obtaining property by inducing Obtaining property by inducing consent via wrongful use of force or fear.
I know the law, gentlemen.
This is not a jury trial.
I'd just like to know how extortion is applied in this case.
Seems quite novel.
Apply it in this case, then.
The property, food and liquor, obtained by forcing the victim Objection.
There's no evidence my client forced anyone to do anything.
Who did Margo Baxter think would pay for dinner? Objection! I have no idea what she was thinking, - and neither do you.
- Sustained.
Try again, Mr.
Callan.
Detective, who did the victims tell you - they thought was going to pay? - The defendant.
She asked them out.
She chose the place.
She made the reservation.
She did the ordering each and every time.
And what did they tell you they were afraid of? Leaving a restaurant without paying is a crime.
Victims were afraid they'd be charged if they didn't pay the bill in full.
They also feared being barred from returning.
Oh, boo-hoo.
It's L.
A.
Find another restaurant.
Ms.
Quinn, will your client pipe down, or are we moving into contempt territory? Thank you.
No more questions.
- Ms.
Quinn, care to cross? - Yes, please.
Detective Perry, did anyone order you to investigate these little tips that are technically hearsay? - No.
- So I'm sorry.
- Why did you do it? - Because she broke the law.
Right.
So-called extortion.
You decided that she was an evil extortionist.
- Objection.
Argumentative.
- Sustained.
Final warning, counselor.
Yes, Your Honor.
Did you tell any of your colleagues it was because the alleged perpetrator was a woman? I said if a man was doing this, people would be all over it, but because it's a woman rolling over some lonely guys, it's okay? So you pursued these small alleged infractions because Margo was a woman? In fact, you targeted my client because she is a woman.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
When was the last time you had a date - Sustained! - since your divorce, Detective? Excuse me? I think I'm done.
Unless you have anything further, Mr.
Callan? I think we know how this particular dance will end.
My mom said that if there was a God, we'd have cheap rent.
She moved us in with her boyfriends, mostly.
I left when I was 14.
It was bad on the street.
I was bad.
Got into drugs for a few years.
Took people's money, checks, credit cards.
- You got caught? - Yeah.
Jail was it was bad.
Worse than people think.
How did you end up with the Church? I got out, ended up on the Skid.
Sister Miranda was there handing out bottled water and sandwiches.
But she listened, too.
She knew that's what some of us really needed.
She was so so calm.
I wanted that, too, so one day I followed her there.
I wouldn't leave.
Could you pick one word to describe the Church? What is it to you? Love.
It never goes away.
Phoebe, for the record, did you take that money from your church? I'm sorry.
Can you repeat the question? Did you take that money from your church? Phoebe? - Your Honor.
- I'm guilty! I need to confer with my client.
I'm sorry.
I have to tell the truth.
I'm I'm guilty.
I'll tell you what I just told her.
If this continues, I will withdraw as her lawyer.
I can't and won't knowingly ask questions that will lead to false answers.
If Sister Phoebe sticks to this confession, she is committing perjury for you.
Are you going to let her do that? Congratulations.
You fight dirty.
Also a massive step back for gender politics.
The cops tried to bootstrap it into a felony.
- Didn't fly.
- 12 victims.
$10,000 of stolen meals.
Maybe seeing the inside of a jail cell would have stopped her.
Charges dismissed.
Thank you.
It's not smart to antagonize a DDA.
Well, it's what you've been doing.
I've been doing my job.
Prelim's over.
And for the record, you treated those men like garbage.
- She has a soul.
- After business hours.
Enjoy your life, Margo, at Craft or Patina or wherever you break a heart next.
- Ah, that's gonna be difficult.
- Why is that? I've spoken with all the restaurants involved in the case.
They've been spreading the word and your photo.
You're gonna be banned from all the prime spots in town.
Oh, no.
That can't be legal.
Mm.
It is, but feel free to discuss it - with a different lawyer.
- But what will I do with all those Saturday nights? You should have thought about that before.
That was cold.
Too bad we didn't make that bet.
I'm hungry.
- I have plans anyway.
- Right.
She's pretty.
When you're ready to take me to dinner, call me.
I'll pick up the check.
Mr.
Owens, the court has reviewed your sentence and has increased your fine to $2,000.
It was $500 before.
You know, with this kind of help, I might as well check into Men's Central.
- Your Honor - Given the degree of financial hardship, the court is prepared to convert that fine to jail time.
So you're sending me to jail? That conversion comes out to 16 days.
Now, that sentence will most certainly be reduced by the sheriff due to overcrowding.
That and the fact that an individual usually only serves 10% of the conversion time means you should be booked and released within a few hours.
Your Honor, with respect, I don't understand.
You will be on probation, Mr.
Owens, but you will be free to go, and you won't owe us a penny.
That sound fair? Yes.
Thank you.
- Thank you, Your Honor.
- This is your last chance.
Now, I don't want to see you in here again and especially without a lawyer.
Thank you.
Your Honor.
You You've been driving around with $100,000 in your trunk? No one's gonna break into this car.
This money was meant to do better food, medicine, housing for the poor.
Not the rectory.
Phoebe was the first to figure it out.
She refused to She protected me.
You still have It's all here? Yes.
After I took it, I felt lost.
Well, why why did you let Phoebe Because she is innocent.
We both had faith the justice system would see that.
I shouldn't have let her.
I got scared of everything, of dying, of dying without the embrace of my church.
I don't want to leave.
How's it going, Carmichael? Feeling limber? Legs stretched enough? Every day is an adventure.
Mm.
What happened to you today? Traffic.
For nine hours? I've always liked Wedding Day.
When you marry two people in love, it's You don't have to be impartial.
My whole life, I've liked weddings.
But I've always felt on the outside.
I was married once.
Mm.
But even then, they weren't for me.
Since 2013, I have had the honor of marrying same-sex couples, and it's an absolute joy.
Unless it's on the same day that your girlfriend, your partner of four years dumps you.
I I know when it's a good idea to take a mental health day, and it was it was a first.
I'm so sorry.
I wasn't gonna implement Wedding Day at this courthouse until everybody could take part.
It's the most important thing I've done in my career.
I have got some catching up to do.
Hang in there, Carmichael.
This is a privilege, and you get way more than you give up.
Your Honor, there is something you need to know about.
I am satisfied that the People have proven that the defendant committed the crime beyond a reasonable doubt, and I find her guilty on the charge.
But I don't think a felony conviction is appropriate.
The money has returned, and the defendant was honest about her past and her commitment to move forward.
So I will exercise my discretion under Penal Code Section 17B and reduce the charge to a misdemeanor.
The defendant is placed on summary probation for 12 months under the following conditions 100 hours of community service with Father Vincent.
So does the defendant accept? I do.
Then this court is adjourned.
Oh! Thank you.
You, uh, you keep your promises by having faith in yourself.
God loves you.
Now let's get some people married! I'm sorry about today.
I needed to stretch my legs and almost had them both broken.
I suggest in the future a yoga mat in chambers.
That was nimble.
Nimble work there today with Mr.
Owens.
The justice system needs to stop funding itself on the backs of defendants.
Is this the dream, the mass wedding? Yes.
Yes, it is.
This will be orderly.
This will be simple.
This will be very romantic.
The building closes in an hour, wedding folks.
Let's get this done.
I need everyone to line up in your pairs.
Orderly, thank you.
Let's get this going.
You were hard to keep up with today.
I had a nun to defend.
Recovering Catholic.
The guilt is brutal.
Hmm.
His mom's ring.
Hmm? - It's nice.
- Mm-hmm.
I am going to go to Sara's place, and she is going to cut off my finger.
That's the only way I'm gonna get it off.
You have any dental floss? Do I have dental floss? Have you met me? - Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
Ooh.
May I have your hand? It's a weird thing to say.
Thank you.
Thanks, Judge.
Just another day in the HOJ.
Judge Laski said you had fun with Amy Quinn today.
- Fun? - Mm-hmm.
It was interesting.
How interesting? You know what? I'm not going there.
Look, I'm good.
I'm happy if you're happy.
Are you happy? Ria is now officially a brand ambassador, and we are going to celebrate.
Smart.
I need to know what's going on here right now.
Ahh! Ho ho! - Yeah? - Oh, finally.
Uh-huh.
Well, what are you gonna do with it? Uh give it back to his mom.
Not to him.
- Are you ready? - Ready.
Welcome, everyone.
I'm so happy to see all of you and honored that you've chosen me to bring you together.
We're gonna do things a little bit differently at this late hour.
A group celebration of love.