'Allo 'Allo! (1982) s05e11 Episode Script

( theme music playing )
IF YOU HAD BEEN HERE
HALF AN HOUR AGO,
YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN ME
DISGUISED AS A FRENCH GENERAL,
WITH A FALSE NOSE MADE OF
PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE.
UNFORTUNATELY, I SNEEZED,
CAUSING THE WICK,
WHICH WAS CONCEALED
IN MY NOSTRIL,
AND WHICH WAS IN FACT A FUSE,
TO BECOME EXPOSED.
THE WICK THEN CAUGHT LIGHT
FROM THE END OF MY CIGAR,
WHEREUPON I FLUNG
THE OFFENDING NOSE
THROUGH THE OPEN DOORWAY.
UNFORTUNATELY, I BLEW UP
HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO,
WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE
PASSING AT THE TIME.
JUST A NORMAL, TUESDAY AFTERNOON
IN WARTORN FRANCE.
RENE, WE HAVE PUT THE UNIFORM
BACK ON THE FRENCH GENERAL.
HE IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS.
WHAT SHALL WE
DO WITH HIM?
WHATEVER YOU LIKE.
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN HAS
GIVEN ORDERS TO HAVE ME SHOT,
SO I AM LEAVING.
- RENE!
- OH, BUT RENE!
RENE!
I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.
I HAVE INFORMED
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
THAT IT WAS
THE FRENCH GENERAL
WHO ATTEMPTED
TO ASSASSINATE
HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO
BY EXPLODING HIM.
HE NOW SUSPECTS
THE FRENCH GENERAL
OF BEING THE MISCREANT
WHO TRIED TO POISON US ALL
AT THE MEETING
TO PLAN THE INVASION.
OH, LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
YOU ARE FANTASTIC!
HOW CAN I EVER
THANK YOU?
WELL, I-- I HAD NOT YET
GIVEN THE MATTER ANY THOUGHT.
AND HOW IS
POOR HERR FLICK?
AT THE MOMENT, VERY BLOWN UP.
THE COLONEL TOOK HIM
TO OBTAIN THE NEAREST
MEDICAL ASSISTANCE.
THERE IS A FIRST AID POST
IN THE TOWN HALL.
IF I HAD BEEN
THE COLONEL,
I WOULD HAVE
TAKEN HIM TO THE VET.
HE DID.
WE ARMY CHAPS ARE NOT VERY FOND
OF THE GESTAPO.
OH, RENE.
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL
THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER
UNDER SUSPICION?
LET US ALL CELEBRATE
WITH A LITTLE COGNAC.
I HAVE, I'M AFRAID,
NO TIME.
THE GENERAL HAS ORDERED US
TO COMB THE TOWN
TO ARREST
THE FRENCH GENERAL,
SO I'D BETTER START COMBING.
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SEARCH,
LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
COME BACK AND SEE US SOON.
WHATEVER YOU WANT HERE
WILL BE FREE.
AS LONG AS IT IS
ON THE MENU.
THANK YOU.
START THE TANK,
CLARENCE!
( engine starts )
WHY DID YOU NOT
TELL HIM
THE FRENCH GENERAL
IS IN THE CELLAR?
BECAUSE HE IS
A WANTED MAN!
THEY MIGHT SAY
WE WERE HIDING HIM.
I HAVE IT!
WE WILL STICK HIM
OUTSIDE THE CAFE,
AND I WILL PHONE UP THE GERMANS
AND SNITCH ON HIM.
EDITH, THAT IS
A ROTTEN IDEA.
WELL, HE IS A COLLABORATOR.
DEATH TO THE COLLABORATORS!
( loudly )
DEATH TO ALL COLLABORATORS!
EDITH, KEEP YOUR
VOICE DOWN.
WE WILL LOSE
HALF OUR CUSTOMERS.
HEIL HITLER.
HEIL HITLER.
I TRIED TO PERSUADE HIM
TO GO TO HOSPITAL,
BUT HE SAID HE'D RATHER
HAVE A BUNK-UP IN THE CELLAR.
GO AWAY!
IT IS TERRIBLE TO SEE YOU
LIKE THIS, HERR FLICK.
HAS ANY VITAL ORGAN
BEEN DAMAGED?
I AM TESTING THEM
ONE AT A TIME.
- SHALL I KISS YOU?
- YES, BUT WITH GREAT CARE.
MY GOD!
YOU ARE PULLING MY PULLEY.
I'M SORRY, HERR FLICK.
AAAAHH!
HE IS HEAVY AS LEAD.
I WILL PUT THIS
BESIDE HIM,
SO HE LOOKS
LIKE A CUSTOMER.
MY PARALYZING PILL
IS STILL PARALYZING HIM.
SERVE HIM RIGHT!
Edith:
COLLABORATOR!
I WILL PHONE
THE GERMAN HEADQUARTERS
AND TELL THEM
WE HAVE SPOTTED HIM.
PERHAPS THEY WILL
GIVE ME A MEDAL?
EDITH, IF THEY
GIVE YOU A MEDAL,
YOU WILL BE A COLLABORATOR!
OH, YES. THIS WAR
IS VERY COMPLICATED.
( gasps )
LOOK--
HERE COMES
THE ITALIAN CAPTAIN.
OH HECK.
GET HIM INSIDE
BEFORE HE DISCOVERS
THE FRENCH GENERAL
IS PARALYZED.
Captain:
AH, THE BEAUTIFUL LADIES.
I KISS YOUR HANDS.
YOU HAVE THE SCENT
OF THE SUMMER FLOWERS.
YOU HAVE THE SCENT
OF THE SPRING MORNING.
YOU HAVE THE SCENT
OF THE GARLIC.
IT DRIVE ME MAD.
YOU MAKE MY HEART GO
BOOM-TIDDY-BOOM,
TIDDY-BOOM.
OH.
CAPTAIN, COME INSIDE.
HAVE SOME WINE
ON THE HOUSE.
NO, IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
I SIT HERE,
WITH THE FRENCH GENERAL.
AH!
AH, RENE, WINE
FOR THE ITALIAN CAPTAIN.
GENERAL, HOW'S IT
GETTING ON, EH?
YOU MIND MY ASKING
A VERY PERSONAL QUESTION?
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT
LOSING THE WAR,
EH?
MAMA MIA,
WHAT A MISTAKE TO MAKE.
COME HERE, HUBERT.
LOOK WHAT I HAVE
COMMANDEERED FROM THE MUSEUM.
OH.
IF I AM NOT MISTAKEN,
LOUIS XIV.
QUITE RIGHT.
PRICELESS.
WHAT A FIND.
HOW I ENVY YOU.
I LIKE A LITTLE ENVY.
I INTEND TO GIVE THEM
AS A PRESENT TO MY WIFE.
IT'S OUR 25th ANNIVERSARY.
OH, WHAT AN OCCASION.
WHAT AN OCCASION,
INDEED.
A LITTLE SCHNAPPS?
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN!
I WILL SEE
THE COLONEL AT ONCE.
YES, GENERAL.
( shouting )
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN!
- HEIL HITLER.
- HEIL HITLER.
SIT.
General:
STAY.
I SEE YOU ARE
ABOUT TO DRINK.
WE HAVE CAUSE
FOR CELEBRATION.
THE FRENCH GENERAL, WHO WAS
THE ROTTEN APPLE IN OUR MIDST,
HAS BEEN ARRESTED,
AND IS NOW ON HIS WAY
TO BERLIN FOR INTERROGATION.
HOW IS THE GESTAPO OFFICER?
HE HAS MANY BANDAGES.
GOOD.
WHO INFORMED US
OF THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE FRENCH GENERAL?
THE PROPRIETOR OF THE CAFE.
A GOOD MAN.
IT WAS FORTUNATE
WE DIDN'T SHOOT HIM.
SHOULD WE PERHAPS
REWARD HIM?
YES, GIVE HIM A MEDAL.
SNEAKY COLLABORATORS,
CLASS I.
NOW, HAVE YOU
MADE ARRANGEMENTS
FOR A FURTHER MEETING
WITH THE GENERALS
TO DISCUSS THE PLANS
FOR THE INVASION OF ENGLAND?
ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN
MADE TO THE LAST DETAIL.
GOOD. CANCEL THEM.
CANCEL THEM?
MMM. IT HAS COME TO MY EARS,
THAT THE RESISTANCE
MAY BE PLANNING A BLOWING UP.
NO.
YES. THEREFORE I SUGGEST
THE FOLLOWING:
WE WILL ROUND UP
A NUMBER OF PEASANTS,
AND YOU WILL DISGUISE THEM
IN THE UNIFORM
OF GERMAN GENERALS.
WE WILL GIVE THEM MAPS,
LITTLE MODEL BOATS,
LITTLE TOY TANKS,
AND AN ADEQUATE QUANTITY
OF JELLY BABIES
TO REPRESENT
THE INVASION FORCES.
WITH THESE, THEY WILL APPEAR
TO BE PLANNING THE INVASION.
THIS THEY WILL DO IN A TENT
IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE TOWN SQUARE.
IF THE RESISTANCE DECIDE
TO BLOW THEM UP,
THEN SO BE IT.
BRILLIANT PLAN!
PURE GENIUS.
WAIT, THERE IS MORE.
THE OTHER GENERALS,
AND OURSELVES,
DISGUISED AS PEASANTS,
WILL BE PLANNING
THE REAL INVASION IN THE CAFE,
WHERE, OF COURSE,
WE WILL NOT BE SUSPECTED.
WHAT AN INGENIOUS TWIST.
BREATHTAKING AUDACITY.
IT'S A PRODUCT
OF A SUPERIOR MIND.
WITH RESPECT GENERAL,
SUCH BRILLIANCE
CALLS FOR A DRINK.
SCHNAPPS FOR THE GENERAL.
COLONEL,
SHOULD I TELL HIM
HE HAS SAT ON HIS HAT?
NO.
DEFINITELY NOT.
SO,
A TOAST.
TO THE INVASION
AND THE CONQUEST OF ENGLAND!
( shatters )
THE INVASION
AND CONQUEST OF ENGLAND!
( shatters )
COME ALONG, LIEUTENANT.
SHOULD WE NOT PERHAPS
DELAY THE TOAST
UNTIL WE KNOW THE DATE?
THE 14th.
WHAT TIME?
4:00 IN THE MORNING.
AH, WELL!
THE INVASION AND CONQUEST
OF-- OF ENGLAND.
INVASION AND CONQUEST
OF ENGLAND.
( shatters )
( shatters )
- PSST, RENE.
- WHAT IS IT?
YOU ARE WANTED
IN THE BACK ROOM.
ALL RIGHT.
IS IT MICHELLE?
WHERE IS SHE?
I DO NOT SEE HER.
DOES SHE HAVE
A MESSAGE FOR US?
DOES SHE WISH
TO SEE ME?
NO. IT IS I
WHO WISH TO SEE YOU.
OH, RENE, WHY HAVE YOU
BEEN IGNORING ME?
YOU HAVE NOT NOTICED ME
EVEN THOUGH I HAVE
WASHED MY HAIR
AND UNDONE TWO BUTTONS
OF MY BLOUSE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
PUTTING ON WEIGHT.
OH, RENE,
I MUST EMBRACE YOU
AND HOLD YOUR BODY
AGAINST MINE.
YVETTE, YVETTE,
THAT PERFUME.
IT WILL BE ALL OVER ME.
MY WIFE WILL BE SUSPICIOUS
IF DO NOT SMELL OF GARLIC
AND OLD DINNERS.
RENE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THE ARMS OF THAT GIRL?
WELL, I--
WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS
WHOSE ARMS HE IS IN?
RENE, YOU FAITHLESS
DECEIVER.
YOU PROMISED THAT WHEN
YOUR LIPS TOUCHED MINE,
THEY WOULD NEVER
TOUCH ANY OTHER.
MICHELLE, WE HAVE NOT
BEEN DOING ANY LIP TOUCHING.
WE WERE JUST HUGGING.
WHAT IS SHE SAYING?
RENE, TELL ME YOU DID NOT
TOUCH HER LIPS.
WELL, IT IS
LIKE THIS YVETTE--
MICHELLE,
THE ICE COLD,
UNTOUCHABLE HEAD
OF THE RESISTANCE,
TURNED OUT TO HAVE
THE HOTS FOR ME,
AND I AM, AS YOU KNOW,
ONLY A WEAK MAN,
AND IN A MOMENT
OF CARELESS ABANDON,
I DID ALLOW MY LIPS
TO TOUCH HER LIPS.
OH, RENE,
IF YOU LOVE ANOTHER,
I WILL KILL MYSELF.
AND I WILL
KILL MYSELF.
OH, NOW,
GIRLS, GIRLS.
PLEASE, PLEASE,
DO NOT DO ANYTHING RASH.
I AM NOT WORTH IT, REALLY.
RENE, LEAVE THE ROOM.
YVETTE AND I WILL
RESOLVE THIS MATTER,
FOR BETTER OR WORSE,
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
ALL RIGHT, BUT IF IT IS
GOING TO BE A SUICIDE PACT,
DO NOT PUT MY NAME
ON THE NOTE.
GO!
NOW--
NOW BEFORE YOU SPEAK,
LET ME EXPLAIN.
SIT DOWN.
RENE WAS ABOUT TO RESIGN
FROM THE RESISTANCE.
I KNEW THERE WAS ONLY
ONE WAY TO KEEP HIM,
SO I TOOK A DEEP BREATH
AND CLOSED MY EYES
AND VOWED TO HIM
THAT I'D LOVED HIM
FROM THE FIRST MOMENT
THAT WE MET.
NATURALLY, HE FELL
IMMEDIATELY IN LOVE WITH ME
AND AGREED TO STAY
WITH THE RESISTANCE.
BUT DO NOT WORRY,
I'M NOT IN LOVE
WITH HIM.
HE DRIVES ME
RIGHT ROUND THE TWIST.
BUT WHAT GOOD
IS THIS TO ME,
IF HE LOVES YOU?
DO NOT WORRY,
I WILL KEEP HIM FOR A WHILE
IN A FROTH.
THEN, WHEN WE HAVE GOT
THE BRITISH AIRMEN AWAY,
I WILL DO TO HIM
SOMETHING VERY HORRIBLE
AND YOU CAN HAVE HIM BACK.
AND YOU ARE VERY WELCOME.
WHAT YOU SEE IN HIM
I CANNOT IMAGINE.
HE IS AN INCREDIBLE LOVER.
OH, HE SENDS SHIVERS
UP AND DOWN MY SPINE.
BEING WITH HIM
IS LIKE WATCHING
A FANTASTIC MOVIE
WITH BORIS KARLOFF.
YOU POOR CHILD.
YOU SHOULD EAT
MORE GREEN VEGETABLES.
LOOK, YVETTE,
WE HAVE CUSTOM--
WHAT IS GOING ON
IN HERE?
NOTHING, EDITH,
NOTHING.
IT IS JUST GIRL TALK.
OH, DID I MISS SOMETHING?
NOT UNLESS YOU ARE INTERESTED
IN GREEN VEGETABLES
AND BORIS KARLOFF.
AN URGENT MESSAGE HAS COME
THROUGH ON THE RADIO
IN MORSE CODE.
WHAT IS IT?
BEEP BE BE BE.
BEEP BE BE BE.
BEEP BE BE BE.
( static noise )
GOOD.
PLAN B MUST BE PUT
INTO OPERATION AT ONCE.
AND WHAT IS PLAN B?
IT IS GOOD NEWS.
ANOTHER GROUP OF AIRMEN
WHO HAVE BEEN SHOT DOWN
WILL BE ARRIVING
IN THE CAFE.
YOU CALL THIS GOOD NEWS?
DO NOT TELL ME THEY
WILL BE DISGUISED
AS ONION SELLERS?
WHAT WAS THE LAST PAR
OF THE MESSAGE?
BEEP, BE BE BE.
BEEP, BE BE BE.
YES.
LOOK, I AM HAVING NO MORE
BRITISH AIRMEN IN MY CAFE.
IT WILL ONLY BE
FOR AN HOUR OR SO.
UNDER THE COVER
OF AN AIR RAID,
A FISH TRUCK WILL DRAW UP
OUTSIDE THE CAFE.
THE AIRMEN WILL RUN OUT
AND HIDE IN IT,
AND BE DRIVEN
TO THE COAST.
FROM THERE,
A LOBSTER BOAT
WILL TAKE THEM
TO A SECRET RENDEZVOUS
WITH A SUBMARINE.
AND WHAT IF I REFUSE?
LADIES,
PLEASE LEAVE
THE ROOM.
DO NOT BE
TOO HARD ON HIM.
COME.
COME HERE.
RUN YOUR HANDS
THROUGH MY HAIR.
WIPE THEM
ON YOUR APRON FIRST.
NUZZLE MY EAR
LIKE YOU DID BEFORE,
AND TELL ME
YOU WILL DO IT!
OF COURSE I WILL DO IT.
OH, MICHELLE.
OH, RENE.
- EXCUSE ME, SIR.
- PSST!
IT IS I, LECLERC.
YOU ARE LOOKING
VERY SMART.
I AM DRESSED
TO PROMENADE
MADAME FANNY.
YOU SEE, IT IS
THE ANNIVERSARY
OF OUR FIRST MEETING,
50 YEARS AGO.
AH, HA HA.
PSST!
I TELL YOU,
WE HAD A BIT
OF A DING DONG.
WHY DID YOU
NEVER MARRY?
WELL, IN THOSE DAYS,
I HAD THE ENTRY TO ALL
THE FINEST HOUSES IN FRANCE.
BECAUSE YOU WERE
YOUNG AND HANDSOME?
NO, BECAUSE I WAS A BURGLAR.
IT IS THE POLICEMAN
WHO THINKS HE CAN SPEAK FRENCH.
GOOD MOANING.
I WISH YOU TO GIVE
A MASSAGE TO RONNIE.
HE MEANS RENE.
OH, AH,
IN THAT CASE,
IT WOULD BE BETTER
IF YOU GAVE
RENE A MASSAGE.
JUST REMEMBER WHAT HE SAYS.
IT MAY BE IMPORTANT.
I WILL, UH--
I WILL TAKE NOTES.
SHOOT.
TELL RONNIE
THAT I SHALL BRONG
THE TWO BRITISH EARMEN
WHEN THE RID HAS STARTED
AND BUMS ARE FALLING.
GOOD DO TO YOU.
DID YOU GET
THE MESSAGE?
YEAH, YEAH.
HE WANTS YOU
TO GIVE RENE'S
FALLEN BUM A MASSAGE.
I THINK IT IS IN CODE.
COME ALONG, MAMMA.
MONSIEUR LECLERC
IS GOING TO TAKE YOU
FOR A NICE PROMENADE.
OH.
AH, MADAME FANNY.
OH,
SEE HOW
YOUNG HE LOOKS?
OH, SEE HIM
TWIRL HIS CANE.
SEE HIM
DOFF HIS HAT.
OH, SEE HIM
MAKE A BOW.
OH
SEE HIM STRUCK
BY RHEUMATISM.
OH, OH!
GOOD EVENING, GENERALS.
HEIL HITLER.
All:
HEIL HITLER!
General:
I SEE YOU ARE ALREADY
WEARING YOUR DISGUISES.
FORGIVE ME FOR BEING LATE,
BUT WE WERE SUPERVISING
THE DRESSING UP
OF THE PEASANTS AS GENERALS.
THEY ARE
A ROUGH-LOOKING MOB.
IF THE RESISTANCE DO DECIDE
TO BLOW THEM UP,
THEY'LL BE
NO GREAT LOSS.
NOW, YOU GO AHEAD
AND PREPARE THE CAFE
FOR THE CONFERENCE.
WE WILL FOLLOW SHORTLY.
HEIL HITLER.
All:
HEIL HITLER!
DO YOU HAVE
OUR DISGUISES?
HERE THEY ARE.
OOH. DID YOU NOT
HAVE THEM FUMIGATED?
YES, GRUBER,
DID YOU NOT
HAVE THEM FUMIGATED?
THERE WAS NO TIME.
WE'LL GO AS WE ARE.
MARCH!
RENE,
I AM VERY WORRIED
ABOUT MAMMA
AND MONSIEUR LECLERC.
IT IS VERY LATE,
AND THEY HAVE NOT YET
COME BACK.
AT THEIR AGE, THEY WILL NO
BE UP TO ANY MISCHIEF.
BUT THE GERMANS ARE ROUNDING UP
ALL THE VILLAGERS
AND PUTTING THEM IN THE TENT,
IN THE SQUARE.
- WHAT?
- IF THEY CATCH THEM,
THEY MIGHT
INTERROGATE THEM.
OH, DO NOT WORRY.
THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT
TONIGHT'S PLAN OF ESCAPE.
HERE ARE
THE TWO EARMEN.
THEY WILL WAIT HERE
FOR THE BUMMING
BY THE R.A.F.
EXPLAIN TO THEM
WHAT IS HAPPENING.
OKAY, CHAPS.
SIT HERE.
LOTS MORE R.A.F. BLOKES
WILL BE JOINING YOU.
WILL THEY BE DRESSED
AS ONION SELLERS?
WELL, OF COURSE.
WHAT A LARK.
WHEN THE BOMBING STARTS,
LEAP INTO THE FISH TRUCK,
AND OFF YOU GO.
ROGER.
HERE THEY ARE NOW.
- HELLO, CHAPS.
- HELLO.
Fairfax:
SQUIFFY!
WHEN DID YOU
GET SHOT DOWN?
HA HA HA!
( very loud chatter )
I SAY, IT'S JUST LIKE
BEING BACK IN THE MESS.
YES!
FOR GOD'S SAKE, TELL THEM
TO KEEP THEIR VOICES DOWN,
OR WE WILL ALL BE SHOT.
KEEP IT DOWN,
YOU CHAPS.
SHH, SHH!
OH MY GOD!
OH RENE, LET US GO
INTO THE SQUARE
AND GET ARRESTED
AND PUT IN THE TENT.
IT WILL BE SAFER.
FLOCKENSTUFFEN,
ALREADY THERE ARE
OTHER GERMAN GENERALS
IN THE CAFE
DISGUISED AS PEASANTS.
YES, OBVIOUSLY THIS IS
A VERY IMPORTANT MEETING.
MY GOD, HOW MANY
CAN THEY GET IN A SUBMARINE?
THEY'RE GOING TO NEED
AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER.
HELLO, CHAPS!
GLAD TO SEE YOU.
WE'LL SOON
BE IN ENGLAND.
YES, INDEED.
HEIL HITLER!
OH YES,
HEIL HITLER.
HEIL HITLER!
HA HA HA!
EVIDENTLY WE ARE
AT THIS MEETING.
NO PROBLEM AS FAR AS
I AM CONCERNED.
AFTER HEIDELBERG,
I WENT TO OXFORD.
AHA AHA AHA!
( mimicking previous laugh )
AHA AHA AHA, HA HA HA.
I SAY, ANY IDEA
HOW WE'RE
GETTING OVER THERE?
WELL, WE DO HAVE
THE JOLLY OLD PLANS.
THE BARGES ARE
TO ASSEMBLE HERE.
BARGES?
I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING IN A SUBMARINE?
SUBMARINE?
GOOD GRIEF.
WE'D NEED
HUNDREDS OF THEM.
AHA!
HOW MANY OF US
ARE GOING?
INITIALLY,
ABOUT 5,000.
GOOD LORD!
I NEVER KNEW WE HAD
THAT MANY CHAPS HERE.
RENE,
I DO NOT WISH
TO WEARY YOU,
BUT I RECOGNIZE
SOME OF THOSE PURPLE.
THEY ARE GERMAN GINERALS.
GERMAN GINERALS?
THEY ARE PISSING
THEMSELVES OFF AS POSANTS.
( airplanes overhead )
IT'S AN AIR RAID.
IF A BOMB
HITS THAT CAFE,
OUR WAR EFFORT
WILL BE CRIPPLED.
GET THE GENERALS
TO THE SHELTER.
- VERY GOOD, GENERAL.
- ( explosion )
( gunfire; explosions )
THERE IS AN AIR RAID.
EVERYBODY TO THE SHELTERS.
- OKAY.
- WHAT?
EDITH,
I DO NOT THINK
THIS OPERATION
IS GOING
ACCORDING TO PLAN.
( gunfire )
QUICK! GRUBER,
COLONEL,
THE SHRAPNEL IS
WHIZZING EVERYWHERE.
FOLLOW ME!
( gunfire continuing )
QUICK, INTO THE TRUCK!
WHY DO THEY WANT
TO PUT US INTO THE TRUCK?
I EXPECT IT WILL DRIVE US
TO THE AIR-RAID SHELTER.
COME.
IF THE GERMANS DO NOT
SHOOT ME FOR THIS,
THE RESISTANCE WILL.
PUT UP THE BACK,
THERE IS NO MORE ROOM.
( explosion )
( battle sounds continue )
HERE ARE THE GENERALS.
I THOUGHT YOU TOLD ME
THE ONION SELLERS
WERE THE GENERALS?
PSST!
IT IS I, LECLERC.
CONGRATULATIONS,
IT HAS ALL GONE
LIKE CLOCKWORK.
THE FISH TRUCK IS
ON ITS WAY TO THE COAST.
YOU CALL THIS CLOCKWORK?
YOU FOOLS.
YOU HAVE JUST SENT
A LARGE NUMBER
OF GENUINE GERMAN GENERALS
TO THE COAST IN A FISH TRUCK.
OH MY GOD.
RENE, LOOK
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
MAYBE THE CREW
OF THE SUBMARINE
WILL CAPTURE
THE GERMAN GENERALS,
MAKE THEM PRISONERS,
AND WE WILL
WIN THE WAR,
AND YOU WILL
BE A HERO.
AND AT LEAST WE HAVE
GOT THE BRITISH AIRMEN AWAY.
I SAY,
WHAT TIME'S
THE NEXT FISH TRUCK?
( theme music playing )