Alpha Males (2022) s02e02 Episode Script
You Have Dreams?
1
[classical music playing]
All right then,
so, we're gathered this afternoon
for the formation of the company
"Plates to Devour, LLC."
Plates to Devour?
It's pretty cool, huh?
This company is jointly owned with
a 50% share by Mrs. Pilar Sanchís Garrido
and Mr. Diego Almazán Noguera,
who have provided
their respective identification documents.
If you could please sign here.
ALPHA MALES
Luz! Luz! [exhales]
That went great, huh?
Feeling brand-new. [laughs]
Hey, where are you going?
Let's celebrate me
becoming a businesswoman.
- Wanna grab a drink?
- [Pili] Huh.
- With my mother.
- Sorry, I have a meeting now.
[Pili] What a shame about you two.
I thought, "My son's finally found
an intelligent one."
Mom, come on.
What went wrong?
He doesn't tell me anything.
Well, he gave me some shit
about opening our relationship,
and it turned out he'd already
opened it for the past two years.
- With his business partner's wife.
- [laughs]
So you still remember that, huh?
No, only when I see your face.
She seems a little angry.
Scary, bro.
I almost bit the dust, huh?
Right, yeah.
But what'd it feel like exactly?
That I was done, Luis. That I was done.
You've had a few slices
of cake this year, huh, Julián?
- More than a few.
- Okay.
I hope you feel better soon.
I gotta book it to work.
We can't just leave him here alone.
Let's at least wait for Mari Carmen.
No, no, she won't come.
No?
She wants to divorce me.
What, because of your heart or?
[Julián] No, before that.
Look, I'll pull this aside.
You'll chat with your friend here.
[coughing]
I already tried to.
But he coughs too much, you know?
[exhales] All right, chin up, bud.
[grunts]
- Huh?
- Who's your new partner?
[clicks tongue] Don't get attached to him.
Uh, no.
And now Sergio's off
on four months of paternity leave.
Is he gonna breastfeed or what?
Why do guys want time off when
you have no clue what to do with a baby?
You hold them like
they're about to explode.
Balance, equality, communication, hon.
These are modern times.
[Esther] Now I have to teach
all the theory classes.
Jesus, why did that idiot
have to go and procreate?
She's gonna leave him.
[tires screech]
[Luis] It's a one-way street.
That's six points on your license.
Esther, I'm a police officer. I mean
All right, honey.
Go enforce law and order.
I love you.
Mm. Well, you'd better.
Mm-hmm. Luis.
- Yeah.
- I'm Rocío, your new partner on patrol.
I'm the replacement for Julián.
Oh. That's wonderful.
Uh, it's just that, uh,
that was fast.
[brake ratchets]
I'm Esther. We're married.
It's a pleasure.
- Let's go.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on, come on.
- I'll go get changed, and we'll
- Mm-hmm.
See you later.
[Santi] Breakfast is served, everyone.
[whistles]
[sobbing]
What's wrong? I say something?
Mom, you have to move on.
It's not a big deal.
Of course, but, uh,
I bet that living here and having to see
my face every day must be torturous, hmm?
- I'll sign you up for Tinder.
- What do you mean, Tinder?
Gotta erase him from your body memory
once and for all,
and to do that,
you have to sleep with ten guys.
It worked for him. Hmm?
You fucked with ten girls?
Mm, uh, nine. You were the tenth.
Honey, come help me
in the kitchen for a second?
Listen, I'm not exactly in favor
of having your mother out there online.
It's just she's gonna meet
some weirdos out there, hmm?
Dad, ignore her. Go live your life now.
Just enjoy being single again.
[Santi] I don't want women.
From now on,
I'm gonna concentrate on my work.
As an appraiser? How exciting.
Well, you know, that's what pays
the mortgage, your tuition, hmm?
Oh, and that smartphone,
the latest generation,
which you use
to arrange Tinder dates for your parents.
You used to have dreams.
Why'd you study architecture, hmm?
To be an architect.
Well, you're doing great.
[Pedro sighs]
What, are you nervous?
A little. I used to buy projects,
and now I have to sell them.
[sighs]
You're gonna do great.
Remember, tonight's the film premiere.
We'll be meeting the high-ups from all
the major platforms. I can introduce you.
Bring along whoever you want,
your girlfriend or
Perfect. I'll be sure to let her know.
Wait up. There, right there.
There's where they make the best pastries.
- Wanna get one?
- No, I'm celiac.
Oh, what a bummer.
Healthy stuff's more expensive, no?
At least I don't put
toxic shit into my body.
Not much of a talker, are you?
It's just hard to get used to.
[chuckles] Julián was a such a wordy guy.
You want the radio?
It's best not to have
any distractions while on duty.
No, that's true. Yeah, yeah.
I agree, that's why we should never
let our let our guard down out here.
'Cause crime crime stops for no one.
- You see him?
- Who? Who?
He just stole that girl's phone!
I'm going. I'm going.
I'm used to this kind of thing.
No, that way!
Hey! Hey, stop. Hey! Hey, you!
Stop right there!
Let me introduce our interior designer.
Ricardo, this is Raúl, business partner.
How are you, partner?
[inhales] I thought the decor
looked just fine.
What'd you wanna do?
It needs a little tweaking. So people
can feel the good vibes, you know?
- Good vibes like how?
- More flamboyant.
More flamboyant how?
Josean!
He's our chef now.
Stole this guy from Dani García.
- Congratulations, sweetie.
- How are you?
[Josean] This place is amazing.
Raúl, the new partner.
How are you, beautiful?
- Well, I'm very comfortable.
- [cell phone rings]
Oh, and Manu, he's the plumber. See ya.
This is Raúl, the new partner.
How are you, dear?
Come check out the restrooms.
In two weeks, we open our doors.
[Manu] I don't think so, girl.
Even the plumber kissed me.
Have you ever been kissed by a plumber?
Well, as far as I can recall, no.
I was hit by a homo-tsunami.
Not one woman. No gender balance, nothing!
Of course, man.
It's the gay lobby. It's pink power.
Yeah, but if they were straight,
you wouldn't've said the "straight lobby."
If you'd told me Luz was with someone,
I wouldn't've gotten involved in this.
- Nice hit.
- All right, my serve.
If we'd told you, you'd still be sitting
there on my sofa scratching your balls.
At least this way,
you moved your ass a little.
Not an ideal place
to be moving my ass. Lemme tell you.
[cell phone chimes]
- Hey, where you going?
- Match on Tinder! [laughs]
- Whoa!
- Hello.
- She's a hot one.
- [Luis] Hmm.
She liked you by accident.
- Happens a lot.
- [Raúl] Hmm?
She's a philologist.
What do philologists do?
- They sign up for welfare.
- [Raúl] Huh.
So I've been thinking
about quitting my job now.
Álex's been saying
that I'm a cowardly guy,
that I I don't pursue my ambitions.
You have ambitions?
- You never talked about them.
- [Pedro] Of course he does.
You didn't study architecture
to be some stooge for the banks.
- You're an artist, god damn it.
- Santi, you have a steady job though.
- The brave shall inherit the Earth.
- Yeah. You're a brave guy.
And you're doing just fine.
Come on. I'm just thinking it over, okay?
Because it's I'm not exactly a young guy.
- And it's true, things are
- [Pedro] Román. Hey, this'll be quick.
I have an architect friend.
You two should meet up.
- What are you doing?
- This guy designed my place.
Román Ripoll? What? No. Fuck.
His project's astounding.
You're gonna love it.
- You're out of your mind.
- Perfect. He'll tell you more later.
I'll forward his info. Talk to you soon.
- "Later"?
- You're having dinner tonight.
He's a stingy guy, so you'll have to pay.
You little motherfucker.
I'm gonna kill you!
You're welcome.
Absolute decree.
You are now officially a divorced man.
- Means we can get married now.
- [exhales]
Are we already doing rings?
[cork pops]
- Oh, no.
- And should we think about a child?
Ugh, wouldn't you rather just
buy a Harley? You already have a son.
No, I want us to have a child.
You really don't want to have a baby?
Uh, I've had boyfriends, same as a son.
If you lived here,
you'd have a shirt you could change into.
Don't you think this conversation
is happening too soon?
Luz, you're reaching a certain age.
Ah, and you're not?
Hey, Héctor, there are only
two life rules that I live by.
I will never shop at Kmart,
and I'll never be a mother.
Should we toast or not?
Luz, I really think
that's a genetic tragedy.
See this? You want to marry me,
but we don't really know each other.
That's how it goes.
We doing anything later,
or should I see this girl? She's asking.
I have a film premiere.
I need someone to go with me.
- Why can't you just go alone?
- I want my boss to think I'm with someone.
- Why is that?
- Well, for my image.
Take Esther. She's always
complaining that we don't go anywhere.
- Not Esther, no.
- Why not?
Well, for his image.
Nothing, don't worry. Take an escort.
- Oh, God.
- [Raúl] What? Guys have always done it.
- Pay up and it's done. See this.
- [Pedro] Fuck.
"Erotic models."
"Here you'll find the perfect
companion for every type of event
and public appearance."
Oh, God, that's just pathetic, dude.
Worse. Objectification.
Whoa, this redhead's hot.
Her rate is "platinum."
Show me. Holy shit. [chuckles]
My God, how many chicks are there?
Prostitution. It is, okay?
Bought intimacy is never real.
He's just gonna take her
to a film premiere, not screw her.
- [Luis] No?
- Although, do what you want.
- A woman isn't a handbag, you know?
- I know. I agree with you.
Hmm. Okay.
Well, I have this female partner now.
Your partner's a lady? Is she hot?
It's weird.
I expected a guy, to be honest.
- Patriarchal.
- No, it's not sexist. It's biology.
- Chicks shouldn't be police officers.
- Or firefighters, soldiers.
Are you hearing yourselves now?
It's just that men
are naturally stronger. We're faster.
We're much tougher, you know?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
[panting]
Move it. Police. Poli
[grunting]
But come on.
She's just in really good shape.
- Is she on the Instagram?
- She's "@RocíoCrossFit." All one word.
Why every time
a woman comes into our lives,
the first thing we think about
is fucking her?
Oh, I'd sleep with her, absolutely.
You're not turned on?
I haven't considered it.
She's a colleague.
No, you should never get involved
with a coworker.
The universe is giving
you this opportunity.
It's time to make use
of your open relationship.
[cell phone rings]
Rocío.
Uh, no, no, don't worry.
Uh, of course, yeah, whenever you want.
Uh, then I'll see you soon.
She wants to see me.
Go and get laid, Luis.
Can't let Julián's heart attack
have been for nothing.
[chuckles]
[chattering]
[Luis] Hey there, partner.
[chuckles] It's weird
seeing each other in civvies, huh?
Do I look that bad?
Oh, no, no, the opposite.
You're quite [chuckles]
Uh, coffee?
Luis, I wanna talk to you about something.
Oh, of course.
No, I think it's great that
we're getting to know each other,
since we'll be risking our lives together.
I don't really feel safe with you.
- Huh?
- I got worried.
You seem completely out of shape.
Uh, no, no. I mean, it's just
it's just that I I hadn't eaten.
I just had a colonoscopy,
and two polyps were taken out. Hmm?
What are your workouts like?
Well, I swim in this pool my friend has,
and I never,
never take the elevator, really.
Strictly take the stairs.
Why don't you come to CrossFit with me?
- I go every morning.
- [chuckles]
No, I don't know. Going to the gym
to push around a tractor tire.
It's just not
After the age of 40,
your testosterone
and muscular mass start to go down.
Yeah, and you usually go at what time?
At 6:30, sharp.
Oh, perfect time. Bright and early.
Come on, eat up.
Ulises, I saw you.
This is disgusting.
It smells like a wet dog.
Well, there are lots of things
in life I don't like, and I deal.
- It's really good, Mom.
- Hey there, family.
Mom didn't know where you were.
Hello, sweetie. It's 'cause
Rocío wanted to go get a coffee.
- A coffee.
- [Luis] To get to know each other better.
I don't know.
Couldn't you get to know each other
during the eight hours
you're sitting in the car together?
Uh [groans]
Uh, it's just that we're on duty.
You know, we really gotta concentrate.
Hey, crime stops for no one, Esther.
Yeah. Well, tonight,
you're on kid duty, okay?
When, now?
Luz wants me to get a drink with her.
Don't bother waiting up for me.
You'll take them
to school in the morning, right?
'Cause I won't be here.
Hey, don't.
Luz, whatcha doing?
[Luz] Just having a drink.
I'll meet you. It's an emergency.
[chattering]
[chuckles] Alba, I apologize.
I couldn't get away from work.
- What a day.
- No, you're fine, don't worry.
[sighs] How are you?
All right. All right. Yes, yes. So, hey,
you're so much cuter in person, really.
You as well. A bit shorter though.
[both laugh]
Wanna sit down? My bad.
I I just meant
[chuckles] On your Tinder profile,
you didn't mention anything about
You mean about having
a physical disability?
- Uh
- You didn't ask about it.
Why would I ask you that?
And so you just assume
that everyone's able to walk?
A little ableist of you, you know?
Well, uh [laughs]
Wait a moment. I gotta go to the restroom.
- Would you like something?
- A beer please, yeah.
Great. Excuse me.
Can I get a beer and another wine?
And could you please bring
the dinner menu, so we can have a look?
- [server] Sure.
- Thank you.
HALF PROMISES
- [chattering]
- [camera shutters clicking]
[Pedro clears throat, exhales]
If anyone asks us,
we met in Formentera in the summer.
And say we were on my sailboat
watching the sunset together.
Relax, honey, not like this is
my first film premiere, you know? [laughs]
- [Ángela] Pedro, hello.
- Ángela.
- [Ángela] How are you?
- Very well.
Look, let me introduce Diana,
my girlfriend.
- [Diana chuckles]
- You're a pretty one.
Aww, thanks.
We met each other in Formentera.
How great. I wanna show off
my new director of fiction.
Can I borrow him for a moment?
All yours.
- Pedro, come.
- Yeah. [clears throat]
Ariel, Vice President of Operations.
- And Teresa, Head of Content.
- Hey, there.
- [Pedro] Mm.
- Pedro Aguilar.
Ángela sent me all those videos
from your courses. I'm a huge fan.
Ah. Thanks.
[chuckles]
"No matter how high I jump, I never
seem to feel the weight of my balls."
[laughing]
- That just was meant to be motivational.
- Yeah.
- You don't have to take it literally.
- [Ariel] Hmm.
[Teresa] I'd love to host a reality show
with you.
Something like,
"The Moses of the Manly Men." [chuckles]
Pedro, uh
- [chuckles]
- [Ángela] Mm-hmm.
Uh, well, that [sighs]
that was a time in my life
that I'm trying to leave in the past.
It's been a while
[sighs]
No fucking way.
What are you doing here?
Aren't there are other restaurants?
- This jerk-off isn't even answering me.
- Who's the jerk-off?
The guy our daughter picked out.
He isn't here.
You go home. I'll get the bill.
Right. I'm all dolled up.
Why are you here?
[sighs] Actually, I have a job interview.
- You got fired?
- No, no, Blanca.
Trying to be an architect
and live out my dreams.
You have dreams?
Get out of here!
- [Román laughing] Santiago!
- Román!
- How are you, fella?
- Hi. My pleasure. Great to meet you.
- This is my wife, but she's leaving now.
- No, please stay, have dinner with us.
- No.
- I can stay.
- That'd be great.
- That'd be great. Yes.
[Román] Excuse me, miss,
there's three of us.
Blanca, please just go. I beg you.
You seriously think
I'd jeopardize you earning more?
That asshole said I'm getting old.
When he's two days from retirement.
The whole day together in the car
and then they go for coffee?
- Do you think that's normal?
- I think it's so unfair.
They can be fathers until they die.
Our clock is always counting down.
Even human biology is sexist.
Don't be a mother.
That's advice from a mother.
No way. I don't wanna be a mom.
I mean, I love them and all that.
I kinda have to.
- If he insists, I'll tell him to fuck off.
- Hmm.
Why don't we talk about something else?
Where's this guy you wanted me to meet?
He's, um Juanma!
Juanma?
- You're married. That's what Luz said.
- She told me you're also married.
She travels a lot.
Actually, she isn't home tonight.
Ah meaning you wanna
fuck me in your shared bed?
Take me to a hotel, you cheapskate.
Respect your wife a little.
You should talk.
- But I'm in an open relationship.
- What do you mean, open?
We've talked, and it's been settled.
I'm not cheating at all.
Oh, so then you're the honest one,
and I'm the asshole?
- [laughs] I don't think so.
- Of course, I get it.
It's easy to go through life
cheating on your partners.
Grow up, Juanma, you're getting older.
Don't congratulate yourself.
An open relationship happens
when you stop loving your partner.
Say what?
I love him to pieces, you dumbass.
- Why are you fucking around?
- Wow! You go fuck yourself, man.
Hey, how are things going?
God, what a motherfucker.
- Another one?
- Yeah.
We're here at the Influencers Awards,
where we're multi-nominees.
You getting nervous yet, sister?
Why'd they give us plates if they're
not serving us dinner? These people suck.
Okay, you screwed up my story.
Just smile, damn it.
You have three nominations.
The nominees for Best Content
in the Healthy category are
Mariana Vegana, Lifestyle by Daniela,
Martita Fit and Cynthia Galván.
And the Influencer Award goes to
- Mariana Vegana!
- [shouts]
[dance music playing]
"Healthy" is the lamest category.
Much better, "Positive Change."
And the Influencer Award,
"Positive Change" goes to
Ricky Clavero!
[dance music playing]
Maybe they'll give you Influencer
of the Year. That's the big one.
So fucking hungry.
And the Influencer of the Year Award
goes to none other than
- Lupe Casamayor!
- [shouting]
[dance music playing]
I'll go home and prepare a delicious soup.
No, wait. You and I are gonna party.
[gulps]
Have you two been married long?
Yeah, um, 18 years, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Any kids?
- A little girl.
- Well, "little" [chuckles]
- A mortgage?
- [chuckles]
It's 30 years with a fixed rate of 9%.
Perfect, son.
Family responsibilities
are the basis of capitalism.
Yes, yes, yes, uh, of course.
All of that is totally covered.
Ubizkuo is a family business.
I don't have to explain myself to anyone.
I like to take care of my employees
and to give them
the time off for family time.
Because family means everything to me.
I believe it's a sacred institution.
[Blanca sobs]
Are you all right?
No, just her emotions are all stirred up
by this opportunity you're giving me.
[Blanca] It's just you have no idea how
how hard my husband's worked
to provide for our family,
slaving away as a property appraiser,
putting aside his dreams.
[Román] Well, let's hear those dreams.
I hear you have
this amazing project for me.
Well, I think it's I think so,
but I don't know. I've got it right here.
- Mm.
- Yes, my
It's an, um,
kind of office complex, eco-sustainable,
- No, no.
- And, uh no, no, no.
And, um, female friendly, okay?
What's that?
Uh, well well,
for example, in the bathrooms,
I added some female urinals.
They're kind of, uh, elongated
to have a a raised back curvature
in order to facilitate genital intimacy.
And, well, it maximizes the workers'
output by reducing time spent urinating.
The time spent urinating?
- Yes, yes, yes, she
- Blanca.
Sorry I'm so late.
Dude, bad way to start.
I sent you a message on Tinder.
It's been a pleasure, Román.
I'll take this tartare.
What's up with Tinder?
Uh, hmm, well, we're just going
through a little hiccup right now.
Or maybe I'll say that I didn't
know my girlfriend was an escort.
Which is better, to look like a womanizer
or look like a dumbass?
[Diana] Relax, will you?
Roberto has two kids. It's in his
best interest that people know nothing.
Ah, fuck!
It's just very bad luck, right?
[Diana] Heading back to your place?
You've paid until 12.
Oh, hey, uh, do you want me
to stay in formal girlfriend mode,
or would you prefer something more wild?
No, no. This is fine.
- The bathroom?
- It's that door there.
[exhales]
- So who's in there?
- Shh. A friend of mine.
Yeah, right, yeah.
And which one did you pick?
- You gonna fuck her?
- Shh!
[inhales] I brought her back to be polite.
I don't know
what to do with her until midnight.
Let me think it over.
If you're too uncomfortable,
you got two options.
One, tell her to go home now.
Two, I'll fuck her.
- What the hell are you saying?
- Chick from Tinder was in a wheelchair.
Santi was right though, man.
This isn't okay.
But she's an escort.
So she wants to do this.
How much did she cost you?
Hello. I'm Raúl. We're roommates.
I was just telling him I feel a bit tired.
Want me to call you a taxi?
No, all good. No need for that.
Hmm, so anyway, you like your work?
What's wrong? I can't talk to her?
We have until 12, right?
- Hmm? [chuckles]
- [Diana chuckles]
Why you out here?
Mom got lucky!
For real? And she brought him here?
No, no, this isn't
a bachelorette pad, okay?
I'll go have a word with her.
Come on. [grunts]
[grunts]
How was your interview?
They gonna hire you?
Well, I can't say.
Gotta admit, it was really weird,
and the bill was over 100.
Come on, I believe in you.
There's so much talent in you.
- [scoffs] What do you know?
- [motorcycle engine revving]
Oh. The pizza. Got cash on you?
Good Lord.
[alarm beeping]
- [Esther groans]
- [Luis snores]
Luis.
[alarm beeping]
Luis, can you turn that shit off?
[both groan]
- [Esther exhales]
- [groans]
[exhales]
[groans] God damn.
[Esther] Jesus, what time is it?
Little before six. I gotta go to CrossFit.
[exhales, yawns]
You gotta what?
Go back to sleep, hon.
- Wanna do the WOD?
- Yeah, yeah. Uh, what's that?
[Rocío] Workout of the day.
- Ah. Huh.
- Come on, let's go.
Uh, all right. After you.
[exhales]
[grunting]
[both grunting]
[Esther] Who gets up at six
if they're not in love?
At six o'clock in the morning,
you get up to piss, not to go to CrossFit.
You don't understand the first thing
about open relationships.
Go check out her Instagram.
She's got an incredible ass.
Don't you worry. A girl like her
isn't gonna be interested in Luis.
You're saying my husband's ugly now?
- [doctor] Luz, you all dressed?
- Gotta go, talk to you later.
How are your periods?
Still painful cramps?
Well, every 28 days I take a pill for it.
Right. Your endometriosis is
progressing further.
I'm a little worried.
Well, how worried should we be?
Look here.
The extrauterine endometrial cells
are forming membranous adhesions
around your Fallopian tubes,
and you have ovarian endometriomas too.
Luz, they're quite sizable.
- You said you don't want kids, right?
- Why?
If you're not planning kids,
I might start considering a hysterectomy.
Hysterectomy?
[doctor] If you're sure
about not having children.
[snoring]
Ma'am.
Ma'am!
Can you stop shouting?
It's just that you're a trending topic.
[exhales] Me?
For what?
- Daniela, Daniela! Can I get a selfie?
- What are you doing?
I bought the Ultra Volume Rimmel
you promoted,
but it makes my eyelashes
all clumpy and gross.
Why are you paying attention
to an influencer?
- Don't be an idiot.
- [Cynthia] Come on, let's go.
[woman] You're so rude.
I'm gonna unfollow you now.
No, I'm gonna unfollow you
for being an idiot.
- What's your name, bitch?
- [Cynthia] Stop recording! Fuck's sake!
[woman grunts]
That's a big problem.
[Cynthia] No, I think the memes
are more of a problem.
What memes? There are memes?
[Jonás] You didn't
consult me before going out.
I didn't wanna go out last night.
Blame my sister.
- Hey!
- [Jonás] Okay, let's see.
You've already lost the paid ads
from the beauty salon
and from the wholegrain cereals.
Jonás, what do we do?
Danielers, I have to share
something very personal today.
[exhales]
I was recently the victim of a spiking.
I don't remember anything.
I think some videos
are circulating out there.
Although, I don't
wanna watch them, because
I'm sorry.
[exhales] Ladies, remember,
keep a close eye on your cocktails.
And whenever you're hungover,
nothing's better than a lemon balm
and grapefruit-infused Bodhisattva Tea.
With my discount code below,
you get one of these.
[cell phone rings]
[exhales]
- What's up?
- [Raúl] Did you fuck your partner?
No, no, we just did CrossFit.
Well, she knows I'm into fitness.
She suggested that
Give me her phone number.
She didn't follow me back on Instagram.
Raúl, come on,
please don't try to screw my new partner.
But the chick
from Tinder was in a wheelchair,
and that girl with Pedro,
that's patriarchal.
Oh, so he did call an escort, after all?
Know what? Don't give me her number.
Maybe better
to make up a chance encounter.
- Where's your beat today?
- Uh oh, God, come on.
- [grunts]
- Are you okay? Your muscles feeling sore?
Uh, no, yeah. Yeah. I always
feel good after a real workout.
You start the day with
your batteries fully charged. [chuckles]
See, in a month,
your wife won't recognize you.
[Luis] Hmm.
[groans]
- What's this idiot doing?
- Uh, well, come on, its fine. He
He ran the red light in front of us.
Is he nuts?
Yeah, but if we have to
stop every car that runs a red light,
we won't get anything else done, right?
[siren wails]
[brake ratchets]
Hey, there, sir.
You ran that light just now.
Sorry, officer, it's just you're
so beautiful, that I got all nervous.
Driver's license
and registration, please, sir.
[Raúl] Right away.
[grunts]
And I'll write down my number for you.
- Pedro. What's up, big shot?
- [exhales]
Roberto, I apologize, very busy now.
[exhales]
Did you have fun with Diana?
Amazingly good head.
She give you a golden shower?
- Can't say I follow your meaning.
- I love that girl.
She doesn't watch the clock.
- Oh, hey, you subscribe to TartAdvisor?
- What?
Come on, it's our forum.
You can check their ratings,
post about your experience.
And we do Christmas dinners.
So, on Saturday,
I was with this Russian girl.
Amazing. You wouldn't believe it.
She goes all in. I'll send her info.
- No. Don't do that.
- [knock on door]
- Pedro, you free to talk?
- Course.
There you go. Let me know what
you think, how things go.
[Ángela clears throat]
How was the feedback from the premiere?
It seemed pretty good.
- People enjoyed it.
- So you brought a prostitute.
[chuckles] What?
I saw her talking to Roberto.
Uh, Diana? Well, they're just friends.
He doesn't have female friends.
Especially beautiful ones.
Ángela, I would never
stoop as low as that.
I think it's a bit harsh of you
to imply that my girlfriend,
whom I met in Formentera
"Diana, 31, five-foot-seven."
"I'll fulfill all your dirtiest fantasies.
Blowjob included."
"Anal for an extra charge."
It was this asshole friend of mine.
He made me believe that I couldn't go
to the premiere alone. You see now?
Does a stud like yourself
really have to pay for sex now?
Oh, no. God, no.
We didn't do anything. I swear to you.
You don't owe anyone explanations.
- No, well, you asked though.
- [cell phone chiming]
But in any case, I'll leave you,
'cause you seem pretty busy.
Ángela, I'd be grateful
if you didn't tell the scriptwriters,
so they don't get
the wrong impression of me.
Right, we've got our little secret now.
[cell phone chiming]
Motherfucker.
[sighs]
[groans]
[Pedro] Fuck, you guys. Now my boss
thinks I'm some kind of whore hound.
Uh, it's the truth.
I didn't do anything.
If we were in Sweden,
I'd have to put you in jail.
- [Raúl] You're kidding me.
- Four beers.
A red light is four points?
Two more and I'll lose my license.
If you have no points left,
why are you running a red light?
This guy wouldn't give me the number
of that CrossFit officer.
I don't like her now.
- What a stickler.
- [Luis] Hmm.
And now my accountant is sending me
his entire catalog of single ladies.
[Santi] Yeah, you're a sexist pig.
Seriously, is a man incomplete if he
doesn't have a woman on his arm now?
What are you talking about? You showed
up to that work dinner with your ex.
'Cause I ran into her.
So did you get the job?
Well, he said he'd call me.
- [cell phone vibrates]
- [Pedro exhales, mutters]
Come on, can't you get rid of my fine?
If you don't wanna spend
the next six months without a license,
take a driver's course to regain points.
Esther happens
to be teaching them every day.
- You're not gonna clear my record.
- You're a dumbass.
[Raúl] Hmm. Hmm.
DRIVING SCHOOL
Why are you here, for a DUI?
No, no, I just like to speed.
Oh, me too.
I think you're hot.
Maybe we could hang out, huh?
Well, I wouldn't say no.
- [laughs]
- [Esther] Enough with the euphemisms.
You're all here 'cause you're alcoholics.
You're reckless drivers, and the state,
which wants to keep
squeezing money out of you,
wants to get you back out on the road.
Worst offense of all is alcohol.
Alcohol is is very bad.
It is bad, yeah.
But anyway, you'll get to hear
all of this from a drunk-driving victim,
who we brought in to scare you.
Alba, whenever you're ready.
Hello, everyone.
How's it going?
Uh, as Esther just said.
She's pretty.
[Alba] I was
in a drunk driving accident years ago,
and it changed my life, as you can see.
Although, my physical disability
has its advantages.
This wheelchair is a great way
to filter out stupid assholes on Tinder.
She just looked at you.
No, no, no, no.
[classical music playing]
[classical music playing]
All right then,
so, we're gathered this afternoon
for the formation of the company
"Plates to Devour, LLC."
Plates to Devour?
It's pretty cool, huh?
This company is jointly owned with
a 50% share by Mrs. Pilar Sanchís Garrido
and Mr. Diego Almazán Noguera,
who have provided
their respective identification documents.
If you could please sign here.
ALPHA MALES
Luz! Luz! [exhales]
That went great, huh?
Feeling brand-new. [laughs]
Hey, where are you going?
Let's celebrate me
becoming a businesswoman.
- Wanna grab a drink?
- [Pili] Huh.
- With my mother.
- Sorry, I have a meeting now.
[Pili] What a shame about you two.
I thought, "My son's finally found
an intelligent one."
Mom, come on.
What went wrong?
He doesn't tell me anything.
Well, he gave me some shit
about opening our relationship,
and it turned out he'd already
opened it for the past two years.
- With his business partner's wife.
- [laughs]
So you still remember that, huh?
No, only when I see your face.
She seems a little angry.
Scary, bro.
I almost bit the dust, huh?
Right, yeah.
But what'd it feel like exactly?
That I was done, Luis. That I was done.
You've had a few slices
of cake this year, huh, Julián?
- More than a few.
- Okay.
I hope you feel better soon.
I gotta book it to work.
We can't just leave him here alone.
Let's at least wait for Mari Carmen.
No, no, she won't come.
No?
She wants to divorce me.
What, because of your heart or?
[Julián] No, before that.
Look, I'll pull this aside.
You'll chat with your friend here.
[coughing]
I already tried to.
But he coughs too much, you know?
[exhales] All right, chin up, bud.
[grunts]
- Huh?
- Who's your new partner?
[clicks tongue] Don't get attached to him.
Uh, no.
And now Sergio's off
on four months of paternity leave.
Is he gonna breastfeed or what?
Why do guys want time off when
you have no clue what to do with a baby?
You hold them like
they're about to explode.
Balance, equality, communication, hon.
These are modern times.
[Esther] Now I have to teach
all the theory classes.
Jesus, why did that idiot
have to go and procreate?
She's gonna leave him.
[tires screech]
[Luis] It's a one-way street.
That's six points on your license.
Esther, I'm a police officer. I mean
All right, honey.
Go enforce law and order.
I love you.
Mm. Well, you'd better.
Mm-hmm. Luis.
- Yeah.
- I'm Rocío, your new partner on patrol.
I'm the replacement for Julián.
Oh. That's wonderful.
Uh, it's just that, uh,
that was fast.
[brake ratchets]
I'm Esther. We're married.
It's a pleasure.
- Let's go.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on, come on.
- I'll go get changed, and we'll
- Mm-hmm.
See you later.
[Santi] Breakfast is served, everyone.
[whistles]
[sobbing]
What's wrong? I say something?
Mom, you have to move on.
It's not a big deal.
Of course, but, uh,
I bet that living here and having to see
my face every day must be torturous, hmm?
- I'll sign you up for Tinder.
- What do you mean, Tinder?
Gotta erase him from your body memory
once and for all,
and to do that,
you have to sleep with ten guys.
It worked for him. Hmm?
You fucked with ten girls?
Mm, uh, nine. You were the tenth.
Honey, come help me
in the kitchen for a second?
Listen, I'm not exactly in favor
of having your mother out there online.
It's just she's gonna meet
some weirdos out there, hmm?
Dad, ignore her. Go live your life now.
Just enjoy being single again.
[Santi] I don't want women.
From now on,
I'm gonna concentrate on my work.
As an appraiser? How exciting.
Well, you know, that's what pays
the mortgage, your tuition, hmm?
Oh, and that smartphone,
the latest generation,
which you use
to arrange Tinder dates for your parents.
You used to have dreams.
Why'd you study architecture, hmm?
To be an architect.
Well, you're doing great.
[Pedro sighs]
What, are you nervous?
A little. I used to buy projects,
and now I have to sell them.
[sighs]
You're gonna do great.
Remember, tonight's the film premiere.
We'll be meeting the high-ups from all
the major platforms. I can introduce you.
Bring along whoever you want,
your girlfriend or
Perfect. I'll be sure to let her know.
Wait up. There, right there.
There's where they make the best pastries.
- Wanna get one?
- No, I'm celiac.
Oh, what a bummer.
Healthy stuff's more expensive, no?
At least I don't put
toxic shit into my body.
Not much of a talker, are you?
It's just hard to get used to.
[chuckles] Julián was a such a wordy guy.
You want the radio?
It's best not to have
any distractions while on duty.
No, that's true. Yeah, yeah.
I agree, that's why we should never
let our let our guard down out here.
'Cause crime crime stops for no one.
- You see him?
- Who? Who?
He just stole that girl's phone!
I'm going. I'm going.
I'm used to this kind of thing.
No, that way!
Hey! Hey, stop. Hey! Hey, you!
Stop right there!
Let me introduce our interior designer.
Ricardo, this is Raúl, business partner.
How are you, partner?
[inhales] I thought the decor
looked just fine.
What'd you wanna do?
It needs a little tweaking. So people
can feel the good vibes, you know?
- Good vibes like how?
- More flamboyant.
More flamboyant how?
Josean!
He's our chef now.
Stole this guy from Dani García.
- Congratulations, sweetie.
- How are you?
[Josean] This place is amazing.
Raúl, the new partner.
How are you, beautiful?
- Well, I'm very comfortable.
- [cell phone rings]
Oh, and Manu, he's the plumber. See ya.
This is Raúl, the new partner.
How are you, dear?
Come check out the restrooms.
In two weeks, we open our doors.
[Manu] I don't think so, girl.
Even the plumber kissed me.
Have you ever been kissed by a plumber?
Well, as far as I can recall, no.
I was hit by a homo-tsunami.
Not one woman. No gender balance, nothing!
Of course, man.
It's the gay lobby. It's pink power.
Yeah, but if they were straight,
you wouldn't've said the "straight lobby."
If you'd told me Luz was with someone,
I wouldn't've gotten involved in this.
- Nice hit.
- All right, my serve.
If we'd told you, you'd still be sitting
there on my sofa scratching your balls.
At least this way,
you moved your ass a little.
Not an ideal place
to be moving my ass. Lemme tell you.
[cell phone chimes]
- Hey, where you going?
- Match on Tinder! [laughs]
- Whoa!
- Hello.
- She's a hot one.
- [Luis] Hmm.
She liked you by accident.
- Happens a lot.
- [Raúl] Hmm?
She's a philologist.
What do philologists do?
- They sign up for welfare.
- [Raúl] Huh.
So I've been thinking
about quitting my job now.
Álex's been saying
that I'm a cowardly guy,
that I I don't pursue my ambitions.
You have ambitions?
- You never talked about them.
- [Pedro] Of course he does.
You didn't study architecture
to be some stooge for the banks.
- You're an artist, god damn it.
- Santi, you have a steady job though.
- The brave shall inherit the Earth.
- Yeah. You're a brave guy.
And you're doing just fine.
Come on. I'm just thinking it over, okay?
Because it's I'm not exactly a young guy.
- And it's true, things are
- [Pedro] Román. Hey, this'll be quick.
I have an architect friend.
You two should meet up.
- What are you doing?
- This guy designed my place.
Román Ripoll? What? No. Fuck.
His project's astounding.
You're gonna love it.
- You're out of your mind.
- Perfect. He'll tell you more later.
I'll forward his info. Talk to you soon.
- "Later"?
- You're having dinner tonight.
He's a stingy guy, so you'll have to pay.
You little motherfucker.
I'm gonna kill you!
You're welcome.
Absolute decree.
You are now officially a divorced man.
- Means we can get married now.
- [exhales]
Are we already doing rings?
[cork pops]
- Oh, no.
- And should we think about a child?
Ugh, wouldn't you rather just
buy a Harley? You already have a son.
No, I want us to have a child.
You really don't want to have a baby?
Uh, I've had boyfriends, same as a son.
If you lived here,
you'd have a shirt you could change into.
Don't you think this conversation
is happening too soon?
Luz, you're reaching a certain age.
Ah, and you're not?
Hey, Héctor, there are only
two life rules that I live by.
I will never shop at Kmart,
and I'll never be a mother.
Should we toast or not?
Luz, I really think
that's a genetic tragedy.
See this? You want to marry me,
but we don't really know each other.
That's how it goes.
We doing anything later,
or should I see this girl? She's asking.
I have a film premiere.
I need someone to go with me.
- Why can't you just go alone?
- I want my boss to think I'm with someone.
- Why is that?
- Well, for my image.
Take Esther. She's always
complaining that we don't go anywhere.
- Not Esther, no.
- Why not?
Well, for his image.
Nothing, don't worry. Take an escort.
- Oh, God.
- [Raúl] What? Guys have always done it.
- Pay up and it's done. See this.
- [Pedro] Fuck.
"Erotic models."
"Here you'll find the perfect
companion for every type of event
and public appearance."
Oh, God, that's just pathetic, dude.
Worse. Objectification.
Whoa, this redhead's hot.
Her rate is "platinum."
Show me. Holy shit. [chuckles]
My God, how many chicks are there?
Prostitution. It is, okay?
Bought intimacy is never real.
He's just gonna take her
to a film premiere, not screw her.
- [Luis] No?
- Although, do what you want.
- A woman isn't a handbag, you know?
- I know. I agree with you.
Hmm. Okay.
Well, I have this female partner now.
Your partner's a lady? Is she hot?
It's weird.
I expected a guy, to be honest.
- Patriarchal.
- No, it's not sexist. It's biology.
- Chicks shouldn't be police officers.
- Or firefighters, soldiers.
Are you hearing yourselves now?
It's just that men
are naturally stronger. We're faster.
We're much tougher, you know?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
[panting]
Move it. Police. Poli
[grunting]
But come on.
She's just in really good shape.
- Is she on the Instagram?
- She's "@RocíoCrossFit." All one word.
Why every time
a woman comes into our lives,
the first thing we think about
is fucking her?
Oh, I'd sleep with her, absolutely.
You're not turned on?
I haven't considered it.
She's a colleague.
No, you should never get involved
with a coworker.
The universe is giving
you this opportunity.
It's time to make use
of your open relationship.
[cell phone rings]
Rocío.
Uh, no, no, don't worry.
Uh, of course, yeah, whenever you want.
Uh, then I'll see you soon.
She wants to see me.
Go and get laid, Luis.
Can't let Julián's heart attack
have been for nothing.
[chuckles]
[chattering]
[Luis] Hey there, partner.
[chuckles] It's weird
seeing each other in civvies, huh?
Do I look that bad?
Oh, no, no, the opposite.
You're quite [chuckles]
Uh, coffee?
Luis, I wanna talk to you about something.
Oh, of course.
No, I think it's great that
we're getting to know each other,
since we'll be risking our lives together.
I don't really feel safe with you.
- Huh?
- I got worried.
You seem completely out of shape.
Uh, no, no. I mean, it's just
it's just that I I hadn't eaten.
I just had a colonoscopy,
and two polyps were taken out. Hmm?
What are your workouts like?
Well, I swim in this pool my friend has,
and I never,
never take the elevator, really.
Strictly take the stairs.
Why don't you come to CrossFit with me?
- I go every morning.
- [chuckles]
No, I don't know. Going to the gym
to push around a tractor tire.
It's just not
After the age of 40,
your testosterone
and muscular mass start to go down.
Yeah, and you usually go at what time?
At 6:30, sharp.
Oh, perfect time. Bright and early.
Come on, eat up.
Ulises, I saw you.
This is disgusting.
It smells like a wet dog.
Well, there are lots of things
in life I don't like, and I deal.
- It's really good, Mom.
- Hey there, family.
Mom didn't know where you were.
Hello, sweetie. It's 'cause
Rocío wanted to go get a coffee.
- A coffee.
- [Luis] To get to know each other better.
I don't know.
Couldn't you get to know each other
during the eight hours
you're sitting in the car together?
Uh [groans]
Uh, it's just that we're on duty.
You know, we really gotta concentrate.
Hey, crime stops for no one, Esther.
Yeah. Well, tonight,
you're on kid duty, okay?
When, now?
Luz wants me to get a drink with her.
Don't bother waiting up for me.
You'll take them
to school in the morning, right?
'Cause I won't be here.
Hey, don't.
Luz, whatcha doing?
[Luz] Just having a drink.
I'll meet you. It's an emergency.
[chattering]
[chuckles] Alba, I apologize.
I couldn't get away from work.
- What a day.
- No, you're fine, don't worry.
[sighs] How are you?
All right. All right. Yes, yes. So, hey,
you're so much cuter in person, really.
You as well. A bit shorter though.
[both laugh]
Wanna sit down? My bad.
I I just meant
[chuckles] On your Tinder profile,
you didn't mention anything about
You mean about having
a physical disability?
- Uh
- You didn't ask about it.
Why would I ask you that?
And so you just assume
that everyone's able to walk?
A little ableist of you, you know?
Well, uh [laughs]
Wait a moment. I gotta go to the restroom.
- Would you like something?
- A beer please, yeah.
Great. Excuse me.
Can I get a beer and another wine?
And could you please bring
the dinner menu, so we can have a look?
- [server] Sure.
- Thank you.
HALF PROMISES
- [chattering]
- [camera shutters clicking]
[Pedro clears throat, exhales]
If anyone asks us,
we met in Formentera in the summer.
And say we were on my sailboat
watching the sunset together.
Relax, honey, not like this is
my first film premiere, you know? [laughs]
- [Ángela] Pedro, hello.
- Ángela.
- [Ángela] How are you?
- Very well.
Look, let me introduce Diana,
my girlfriend.
- [Diana chuckles]
- You're a pretty one.
Aww, thanks.
We met each other in Formentera.
How great. I wanna show off
my new director of fiction.
Can I borrow him for a moment?
All yours.
- Pedro, come.
- Yeah. [clears throat]
Ariel, Vice President of Operations.
- And Teresa, Head of Content.
- Hey, there.
- [Pedro] Mm.
- Pedro Aguilar.
Ángela sent me all those videos
from your courses. I'm a huge fan.
Ah. Thanks.
[chuckles]
"No matter how high I jump, I never
seem to feel the weight of my balls."
[laughing]
- That just was meant to be motivational.
- Yeah.
- You don't have to take it literally.
- [Ariel] Hmm.
[Teresa] I'd love to host a reality show
with you.
Something like,
"The Moses of the Manly Men." [chuckles]
Pedro, uh
- [chuckles]
- [Ángela] Mm-hmm.
Uh, well, that [sighs]
that was a time in my life
that I'm trying to leave in the past.
It's been a while
[sighs]
No fucking way.
What are you doing here?
Aren't there are other restaurants?
- This jerk-off isn't even answering me.
- Who's the jerk-off?
The guy our daughter picked out.
He isn't here.
You go home. I'll get the bill.
Right. I'm all dolled up.
Why are you here?
[sighs] Actually, I have a job interview.
- You got fired?
- No, no, Blanca.
Trying to be an architect
and live out my dreams.
You have dreams?
Get out of here!
- [Román laughing] Santiago!
- Román!
- How are you, fella?
- Hi. My pleasure. Great to meet you.
- This is my wife, but she's leaving now.
- No, please stay, have dinner with us.
- No.
- I can stay.
- That'd be great.
- That'd be great. Yes.
[Román] Excuse me, miss,
there's three of us.
Blanca, please just go. I beg you.
You seriously think
I'd jeopardize you earning more?
That asshole said I'm getting old.
When he's two days from retirement.
The whole day together in the car
and then they go for coffee?
- Do you think that's normal?
- I think it's so unfair.
They can be fathers until they die.
Our clock is always counting down.
Even human biology is sexist.
Don't be a mother.
That's advice from a mother.
No way. I don't wanna be a mom.
I mean, I love them and all that.
I kinda have to.
- If he insists, I'll tell him to fuck off.
- Hmm.
Why don't we talk about something else?
Where's this guy you wanted me to meet?
He's, um Juanma!
Juanma?
- You're married. That's what Luz said.
- She told me you're also married.
She travels a lot.
Actually, she isn't home tonight.
Ah meaning you wanna
fuck me in your shared bed?
Take me to a hotel, you cheapskate.
Respect your wife a little.
You should talk.
- But I'm in an open relationship.
- What do you mean, open?
We've talked, and it's been settled.
I'm not cheating at all.
Oh, so then you're the honest one,
and I'm the asshole?
- [laughs] I don't think so.
- Of course, I get it.
It's easy to go through life
cheating on your partners.
Grow up, Juanma, you're getting older.
Don't congratulate yourself.
An open relationship happens
when you stop loving your partner.
Say what?
I love him to pieces, you dumbass.
- Why are you fucking around?
- Wow! You go fuck yourself, man.
Hey, how are things going?
God, what a motherfucker.
- Another one?
- Yeah.
We're here at the Influencers Awards,
where we're multi-nominees.
You getting nervous yet, sister?
Why'd they give us plates if they're
not serving us dinner? These people suck.
Okay, you screwed up my story.
Just smile, damn it.
You have three nominations.
The nominees for Best Content
in the Healthy category are
Mariana Vegana, Lifestyle by Daniela,
Martita Fit and Cynthia Galván.
And the Influencer Award goes to
- Mariana Vegana!
- [shouts]
[dance music playing]
"Healthy" is the lamest category.
Much better, "Positive Change."
And the Influencer Award,
"Positive Change" goes to
Ricky Clavero!
[dance music playing]
Maybe they'll give you Influencer
of the Year. That's the big one.
So fucking hungry.
And the Influencer of the Year Award
goes to none other than
- Lupe Casamayor!
- [shouting]
[dance music playing]
I'll go home and prepare a delicious soup.
No, wait. You and I are gonna party.
[gulps]
Have you two been married long?
Yeah, um, 18 years, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Any kids?
- A little girl.
- Well, "little" [chuckles]
- A mortgage?
- [chuckles]
It's 30 years with a fixed rate of 9%.
Perfect, son.
Family responsibilities
are the basis of capitalism.
Yes, yes, yes, uh, of course.
All of that is totally covered.
Ubizkuo is a family business.
I don't have to explain myself to anyone.
I like to take care of my employees
and to give them
the time off for family time.
Because family means everything to me.
I believe it's a sacred institution.
[Blanca sobs]
Are you all right?
No, just her emotions are all stirred up
by this opportunity you're giving me.
[Blanca] It's just you have no idea how
how hard my husband's worked
to provide for our family,
slaving away as a property appraiser,
putting aside his dreams.
[Román] Well, let's hear those dreams.
I hear you have
this amazing project for me.
Well, I think it's I think so,
but I don't know. I've got it right here.
- Mm.
- Yes, my
It's an, um,
kind of office complex, eco-sustainable,
- No, no.
- And, uh no, no, no.
And, um, female friendly, okay?
What's that?
Uh, well well,
for example, in the bathrooms,
I added some female urinals.
They're kind of, uh, elongated
to have a a raised back curvature
in order to facilitate genital intimacy.
And, well, it maximizes the workers'
output by reducing time spent urinating.
The time spent urinating?
- Yes, yes, yes, she
- Blanca.
Sorry I'm so late.
Dude, bad way to start.
I sent you a message on Tinder.
It's been a pleasure, Román.
I'll take this tartare.
What's up with Tinder?
Uh, hmm, well, we're just going
through a little hiccup right now.
Or maybe I'll say that I didn't
know my girlfriend was an escort.
Which is better, to look like a womanizer
or look like a dumbass?
[Diana] Relax, will you?
Roberto has two kids. It's in his
best interest that people know nothing.
Ah, fuck!
It's just very bad luck, right?
[Diana] Heading back to your place?
You've paid until 12.
Oh, hey, uh, do you want me
to stay in formal girlfriend mode,
or would you prefer something more wild?
No, no. This is fine.
- The bathroom?
- It's that door there.
[exhales]
- So who's in there?
- Shh. A friend of mine.
Yeah, right, yeah.
And which one did you pick?
- You gonna fuck her?
- Shh!
[inhales] I brought her back to be polite.
I don't know
what to do with her until midnight.
Let me think it over.
If you're too uncomfortable,
you got two options.
One, tell her to go home now.
Two, I'll fuck her.
- What the hell are you saying?
- Chick from Tinder was in a wheelchair.
Santi was right though, man.
This isn't okay.
But she's an escort.
So she wants to do this.
How much did she cost you?
Hello. I'm Raúl. We're roommates.
I was just telling him I feel a bit tired.
Want me to call you a taxi?
No, all good. No need for that.
Hmm, so anyway, you like your work?
What's wrong? I can't talk to her?
We have until 12, right?
- Hmm? [chuckles]
- [Diana chuckles]
Why you out here?
Mom got lucky!
For real? And she brought him here?
No, no, this isn't
a bachelorette pad, okay?
I'll go have a word with her.
Come on. [grunts]
[grunts]
How was your interview?
They gonna hire you?
Well, I can't say.
Gotta admit, it was really weird,
and the bill was over 100.
Come on, I believe in you.
There's so much talent in you.
- [scoffs] What do you know?
- [motorcycle engine revving]
Oh. The pizza. Got cash on you?
Good Lord.
[alarm beeping]
- [Esther groans]
- [Luis snores]
Luis.
[alarm beeping]
Luis, can you turn that shit off?
[both groan]
- [Esther exhales]
- [groans]
[exhales]
[groans] God damn.
[Esther] Jesus, what time is it?
Little before six. I gotta go to CrossFit.
[exhales, yawns]
You gotta what?
Go back to sleep, hon.
- Wanna do the WOD?
- Yeah, yeah. Uh, what's that?
[Rocío] Workout of the day.
- Ah. Huh.
- Come on, let's go.
Uh, all right. After you.
[exhales]
[grunting]
[both grunting]
[Esther] Who gets up at six
if they're not in love?
At six o'clock in the morning,
you get up to piss, not to go to CrossFit.
You don't understand the first thing
about open relationships.
Go check out her Instagram.
She's got an incredible ass.
Don't you worry. A girl like her
isn't gonna be interested in Luis.
You're saying my husband's ugly now?
- [doctor] Luz, you all dressed?
- Gotta go, talk to you later.
How are your periods?
Still painful cramps?
Well, every 28 days I take a pill for it.
Right. Your endometriosis is
progressing further.
I'm a little worried.
Well, how worried should we be?
Look here.
The extrauterine endometrial cells
are forming membranous adhesions
around your Fallopian tubes,
and you have ovarian endometriomas too.
Luz, they're quite sizable.
- You said you don't want kids, right?
- Why?
If you're not planning kids,
I might start considering a hysterectomy.
Hysterectomy?
[doctor] If you're sure
about not having children.
[snoring]
Ma'am.
Ma'am!
Can you stop shouting?
It's just that you're a trending topic.
[exhales] Me?
For what?
- Daniela, Daniela! Can I get a selfie?
- What are you doing?
I bought the Ultra Volume Rimmel
you promoted,
but it makes my eyelashes
all clumpy and gross.
Why are you paying attention
to an influencer?
- Don't be an idiot.
- [Cynthia] Come on, let's go.
[woman] You're so rude.
I'm gonna unfollow you now.
No, I'm gonna unfollow you
for being an idiot.
- What's your name, bitch?
- [Cynthia] Stop recording! Fuck's sake!
[woman grunts]
That's a big problem.
[Cynthia] No, I think the memes
are more of a problem.
What memes? There are memes?
[Jonás] You didn't
consult me before going out.
I didn't wanna go out last night.
Blame my sister.
- Hey!
- [Jonás] Okay, let's see.
You've already lost the paid ads
from the beauty salon
and from the wholegrain cereals.
Jonás, what do we do?
Danielers, I have to share
something very personal today.
[exhales]
I was recently the victim of a spiking.
I don't remember anything.
I think some videos
are circulating out there.
Although, I don't
wanna watch them, because
I'm sorry.
[exhales] Ladies, remember,
keep a close eye on your cocktails.
And whenever you're hungover,
nothing's better than a lemon balm
and grapefruit-infused Bodhisattva Tea.
With my discount code below,
you get one of these.
[cell phone rings]
[exhales]
- What's up?
- [Raúl] Did you fuck your partner?
No, no, we just did CrossFit.
Well, she knows I'm into fitness.
She suggested that
Give me her phone number.
She didn't follow me back on Instagram.
Raúl, come on,
please don't try to screw my new partner.
But the chick
from Tinder was in a wheelchair,
and that girl with Pedro,
that's patriarchal.
Oh, so he did call an escort, after all?
Know what? Don't give me her number.
Maybe better
to make up a chance encounter.
- Where's your beat today?
- Uh oh, God, come on.
- [grunts]
- Are you okay? Your muscles feeling sore?
Uh, no, yeah. Yeah. I always
feel good after a real workout.
You start the day with
your batteries fully charged. [chuckles]
See, in a month,
your wife won't recognize you.
[Luis] Hmm.
[groans]
- What's this idiot doing?
- Uh, well, come on, its fine. He
He ran the red light in front of us.
Is he nuts?
Yeah, but if we have to
stop every car that runs a red light,
we won't get anything else done, right?
[siren wails]
[brake ratchets]
Hey, there, sir.
You ran that light just now.
Sorry, officer, it's just you're
so beautiful, that I got all nervous.
Driver's license
and registration, please, sir.
[Raúl] Right away.
[grunts]
And I'll write down my number for you.
- Pedro. What's up, big shot?
- [exhales]
Roberto, I apologize, very busy now.
[exhales]
Did you have fun with Diana?
Amazingly good head.
She give you a golden shower?
- Can't say I follow your meaning.
- I love that girl.
She doesn't watch the clock.
- Oh, hey, you subscribe to TartAdvisor?
- What?
Come on, it's our forum.
You can check their ratings,
post about your experience.
And we do Christmas dinners.
So, on Saturday,
I was with this Russian girl.
Amazing. You wouldn't believe it.
She goes all in. I'll send her info.
- No. Don't do that.
- [knock on door]
- Pedro, you free to talk?
- Course.
There you go. Let me know what
you think, how things go.
[Ángela clears throat]
How was the feedback from the premiere?
It seemed pretty good.
- People enjoyed it.
- So you brought a prostitute.
[chuckles] What?
I saw her talking to Roberto.
Uh, Diana? Well, they're just friends.
He doesn't have female friends.
Especially beautiful ones.
Ángela, I would never
stoop as low as that.
I think it's a bit harsh of you
to imply that my girlfriend,
whom I met in Formentera
"Diana, 31, five-foot-seven."
"I'll fulfill all your dirtiest fantasies.
Blowjob included."
"Anal for an extra charge."
It was this asshole friend of mine.
He made me believe that I couldn't go
to the premiere alone. You see now?
Does a stud like yourself
really have to pay for sex now?
Oh, no. God, no.
We didn't do anything. I swear to you.
You don't owe anyone explanations.
- No, well, you asked though.
- [cell phone chiming]
But in any case, I'll leave you,
'cause you seem pretty busy.
Ángela, I'd be grateful
if you didn't tell the scriptwriters,
so they don't get
the wrong impression of me.
Right, we've got our little secret now.
[cell phone chiming]
Motherfucker.
[sighs]
[groans]
[Pedro] Fuck, you guys. Now my boss
thinks I'm some kind of whore hound.
Uh, it's the truth.
I didn't do anything.
If we were in Sweden,
I'd have to put you in jail.
- [Raúl] You're kidding me.
- Four beers.
A red light is four points?
Two more and I'll lose my license.
If you have no points left,
why are you running a red light?
This guy wouldn't give me the number
of that CrossFit officer.
I don't like her now.
- What a stickler.
- [Luis] Hmm.
And now my accountant is sending me
his entire catalog of single ladies.
[Santi] Yeah, you're a sexist pig.
Seriously, is a man incomplete if he
doesn't have a woman on his arm now?
What are you talking about? You showed
up to that work dinner with your ex.
'Cause I ran into her.
So did you get the job?
Well, he said he'd call me.
- [cell phone vibrates]
- [Pedro exhales, mutters]
Come on, can't you get rid of my fine?
If you don't wanna spend
the next six months without a license,
take a driver's course to regain points.
Esther happens
to be teaching them every day.
- You're not gonna clear my record.
- You're a dumbass.
[Raúl] Hmm. Hmm.
DRIVING SCHOOL
Why are you here, for a DUI?
No, no, I just like to speed.
Oh, me too.
I think you're hot.
Maybe we could hang out, huh?
Well, I wouldn't say no.
- [laughs]
- [Esther] Enough with the euphemisms.
You're all here 'cause you're alcoholics.
You're reckless drivers, and the state,
which wants to keep
squeezing money out of you,
wants to get you back out on the road.
Worst offense of all is alcohol.
Alcohol is is very bad.
It is bad, yeah.
But anyway, you'll get to hear
all of this from a drunk-driving victim,
who we brought in to scare you.
Alba, whenever you're ready.
Hello, everyone.
How's it going?
Uh, as Esther just said.
She's pretty.
[Alba] I was
in a drunk driving accident years ago,
and it changed my life, as you can see.
Although, my physical disability
has its advantages.
This wheelchair is a great way
to filter out stupid assholes on Tinder.
She just looked at you.
No, no, no, no.
[classical music playing]