Alpha Males (2022) s02e04 Episode Script

Ask Before You Enter

[classical music playing]
- [sighs]
- [chattering]
- [man] Hey, man, thanks. Class was great.
- Thanks, guys.
- Hey, down with patriarchy, right?
- Hey, Patrick!
- See you later, man.
- Patrick!
- Hey! Hi!
- Oh, no fucking way.
- We've come from Madrid to talk to you.
- What are you, my groupies?
We might be deconstructed,
but we still have questions.
Hey, have you eaten?
How about some sardine skewers?
Wow. I love the T-shirt. You sell these?
Insinuations or sexist comments?
She called him a hunk.
Unwelcome kisses or hugs?
- Mm, she put her hands on his leg.
- Then she asked him to massage her feet.
No, she put
her feet right up on his lap, apparently.
Offensive flirting, degrading jokes?
She forced Pedro to change his shirt
in front of her,
so she could see his chest too.
Come on. She didn't force me.
Pedro, this is harassment.
There's no doubt.
- I think he should report her.
- Listen.
We can't achieve a more equal society
by ignoring these kinds of degradations.
Pedro, embrace your vulnerability.
- [exhales]
- Embrace it. Come on, Pedro.
- Wouldn't it be easier to screw her?
- No, come on.
She might give him a raise.
No. Relationships of a sexual nature
that begin in the workplace
are very delicate.
Are you writing this down?
Huh? No, no, no, no. Not the same at all.
All right, I met this girl.
Never get involved
with anyone from your work.
We haven't even done anything.
Not yet, not yet.
And she This girl is not my boss.
She's just an architect. We both are.
If the working relationship is horizontal
and there's no abuse of power,
that's fine.
It's very critical
that you practice active consent.
Oh, yeah, sure.
'Course, 'course, yeah. What is that?
Have the woman express willingness
to participate
in the sexual act affirmatively,
honestly, consciously,
voluntarily, soberly, and continuously.
Yeah, you gotta ask before you enter.
- [laughing]
- [Patrick] Listen, Raúl.
No, no, this isn't
a laughing matter, okay?
Active consent, it's not silence,
nor is it the clothes she has on,
nor is it her kissing you.
And only yes is consent.
Okay. Right, right.
Holy shit!
It's, uh, hot out here.
What about you, Luis?
Have you overcome your wife's infidelity?
Yeah, with love
and dialogue and crazy expensive therapy,
I held my marriage together.
- Good. Great to hear.
- [chuckles]
Listen, this last little sardine here
is for you.
- And now they have an open relationship.
- Yeah.
Tell him you don't get laid.
Not with his wife or anyone.
The opportunity hasn't arisen,
but it will.
You got the wrong mindset.
You're still injecting testosterone?
It's just that this
open marriage thing is like
driving an electric car
with no charging station.
- Where do you plug it in?
- [laughing]
Hey. The 2.0 male doesn't need sex
for his own affirmation.
Huh. Huh.
Gotta embrace your vulnerability, Luis.
We haven't talked about Raúl.
Me? My business partner's gay.
I'm more deconstructed
than these guys put together.
Perfect. Well, guys, I have to go because
tomorrow I'm giving a course in Seville.
What was I gonna say?
You've gotta stop stalking me. Hmm?
And if you want the T-shirt,
it's on my website.
And use the code "I don't self-destruct.
I deconstruct myself,"
and you'll get 15% off.
- It's all one word?
- Yes, all one word.
That guy's killing it, huh?
He's a successful asshole.
Should we get the bill
and head back to Madrid now?
What? Fuck, dude.
We're right next to Marbella.
Let's take advantage and go out.
- It's not gonna be like it was in Ibiza.
- What did you just say? No.
What difference does it make if
we get the train at nine instead of four?
We'll go buy swim trunks
and go to a beach club.
There's no way I'm gonna party
with you guys. Ibiza was a nightmare.
I won't be a part of your mess.
[Luis] Honey, I'm sorry.
We missed our train.
And the next one doesn't leave till nine.
[Esther] Damn it.
I've got my acting class today.
Just call my mom.
She loves looking after our kids.
No, no, she hates me
ever since our rough patch.
But I won't get there
until after midnight.
All right, when you get back,
we're gonna talk.
You might not be awake by then.
- Oh, yeah, I'll be awake.
- [line clicks]
- She's angry now.
- Of course.
Ah, we're fully motivated now.
Gotta make sure the shit you'll get
from Esther is worth the pain.
[Héctor] There's no treatment for it?
I have to have surgery.
Found out that if I wanna be a mother,
gotta do it now.
So why wait longer?
Héctor, I really have to think about it.
- Ah, whether you want kids?
- And how too.
Well, at our age,
the best option is in vitro.
We'll save time. The sooner we do it
I meant whether I wanna have
a child with another person or alone.
[chuckles] Luz, you need
another person for this.
Only his genetic material. [chuckles]
Isn't mine good enough?
Are you ruling me out because I'm old?
I spend the day
watching other couples get vicious
and using their kids against each other.
It seems you're
assuming we're splitting up.
A hundred-thousand percent
of relationships end in failure.
The statistics aren't on our side.
I don't know what to say.
I thought today was gonna be normal.
You know, I was gonna buy some bread.
Well, I hope you have a good day.
- But now
- [Héctor] No, no. Don't worry, okay?
Go and think it over and then let me know.
[Esther] He was nice.
And he took it so well.
I'd have told you to fuck off.
Yeah, he's nice, true. But he's 62.
When our kid hits puberty,
he's gonna be a mummy.
- Well, what's better, not having a father?
- I don't know, Esther!
I'm worried about you, okay?
Seems like you wanna do it though.
You know I adore my kids,
but if lived life over again,
I wouldn't have them.
- I got the message loud and clear.
- [Esther] I don't think you got it.
And I have class now.
I'm worried about you, okay?
I'm not sure Héctor would be
a good father. I don't know him that well.
- Well, ask the son he's raised already.
- That dumbass?
That could be genetic.
[slurps] Hey, this one's on you.
We talked about you. Hmm?
[chair creaks]
[instructor] Bravo!
Mario really understood
the assignment perfectly.
- A reminder for students who were late.
- [Esther clears throat]
It's about doing something
intimate that you've never done in public.
Hey, there, what'll you be doing?
[instructor] Right, next up.
- Masturbating.
- Huh!
[Luis] I don't get it.
We've got the beach there, and it's free.
There's a bar right over there
that charges half what they do here.
Yeah, but all
the hot chicks are right here.
Come on, concentrate, for fuck's sake.
You need to get laid.
- Thank you.
- [laughing]
[Luis] We pay for drinks,
but girls get them free?
Is that not objectification?
- [Santi] Mm-hmm.
- I don't hear these girls complaining.
- [Pedro exhales]
- What's he doing?
Keeping an eye on Stefan.
I installed some cameras.
Isn't that a violation of his privacy?
Look here, right here.
In my living room in his boxers.
Well, look at the bright side.
At least he's cleaning, doing his job.
I'm gonna get some shots.
Hey, how are things with Daniela?
- Fine, fine. [chuckles]
- You guys getting back together?
I would, but I don't know.
Let's see how it shakes out.
[Luis] Call her, man, come on.
She should call.
It was her who walked out.
He should call me.
That asshole left without saying goodbye.
I can't believe it.
But he told me he's heartbroken,
and he's madly in love with you.
- Patri, you're a bad liar, just stop.
- [Patricia] Okay, he didn't say that.
- But you could see the love in his eyes.
- Yeah.
- [doorbell buzzes]
- [gasps] He's here now!
- Sister!
- [scoffs]
Oh, you're such a mess.
How do you feel? Not so good, huh?
Yeah, she almost deleted her Instagram.
Are you crazy, girl?
Cynthia, everyone hates me. You know
what they're saying about me right now?
- Why'd you read them?
- Because it's my job?
I told you that you were too perfect.
With "that girl" thing, all that yoga,
the Unleash Your Inner Goddess book.
People were looking
for an excuse to hate you.
They can all fuck right off.
That face right there's perfect
for humanizing you.
- Can we take a selfie?
- Hey. Fuck no. Stay there.
Or you post a story showing
a little bit of cellulite.
- I have none.
- Liar! If you squeeze, it's there.
They canceled her campaign for Delichocos.
Those were really
the perfect breakfast food.
I'm sitting here crying about losing
a campaign for wholegrain cereal.
My life has no meaning, okay?
You're just burned out, sis.
That happens to all us influencers.
People don't know how intense it is.
Patricia, bring me my pills.
I'm gonna induce a coma.
No more benzos for you. You've had enough.
No, no. You pack her bags.
We're heading out.
Where are we going?
Paula, hi there.
So, uh, huh, do you want
to go out for dinner tomorrow?
[Paula] You sure? I don't want this to be
grounds for our dismissal or anything.
[chuckles] No, no, no, no, no.
I consulted with my coach,
and he says if there's no power dynamic,
then there's
not an ethical conflict at all.
Great, so we can be friends.
We have your coach's approval.
Well, yeah, friends
or whatever happens, you know?
All right, well, see you tomorrow, okay?
Can't wait to see you.
Me too.
I meant "me too" to see you.
Didn't, you know
- [laughs] Bye.
- Great. Bye now. I'll see you.
- Remember
- Oh, shit.
Active consent is critical.
Only yes is yes.
- Yeah, asshole. Get outta here.
- Her verbal consent isn't worth a thing.
He'll be screwed
if she changes her mind later.
Well, she said yes.
But where's the proof of it?
It's just your word against hers.
What now? She wants to see me.
Record her. I think you should film
her saying that she wants to fuck you.
- And that'll be your proof.
- Come on. Absolutely not.
[laughs] Honey, could you let go
of my dick for a second?
I'd like to record a video. [laughs]
Let me introduce you. This lady's Natasha
and her friend. What's your name?
- Svetlana.
- Right.
These are my friends here.
Pedro, Luis and Santi.
Hi, there.
Hey, a friend of Natasha is throwing
a party tonight at his mansion.
So, we'll be there, right?
Uh, uh, come here for a second?
Raúl, these girls have armed security.
Well, good. It's 'cause they're loaded.
Or Putin's daughters
and give us vodka with polonium.
- Well
- Yeah
Hey, guys, I'm heading back to Madrid.
I'm not gonna spend the night here.
What difference does it make
taking the seven a.m. train
instead of the nine p.m.?
Where should I shower? I gotta shower.
- Right there on the beach. Come on.
- And my soap?
And my shampoo? My hair conditioner?
You really use conditioner?
- That's why it's shiny.
- Yeah.
Come on, don't be so lame. We'll stay
and have fun with these hot chicks.
And I'm about
to be in the doghouse anyway.
[huffs] God damn it. I'm so sick
of changing my train tickets.
- [laughing]
- Yeah!
[instructor] That was great.
I'm so impressed with this group.
You all get really involved,
really committed.
- So great.
- Fantastic.
- [cell phone rings]
- Uh, one moment.
[instructor] Hmm.
- What?
- [Luis] Hey, honey.
They canceled the nine o'clock train
because of some mechanical problem.
And they bumped us
to the seven a.m. train.
- A problem with the train, huh?
- Uh, no, no, no, on the train track.
Uh, on the track.
Someone, uh, ripped out cables for copper.
The, you know, the railway. It's a crisis.
Luis, you're kidding me!
Hey, it's not like I'm excited
about spending the night here
in some sleazy, rundown, infested motel.
We'll talk tomorrow
when you get back, okay?
- Uh, but you might be at work by then.
- No, no, I'll be home.
Hey, hey, how was the course?
We'd better have a good time tonight.
[woman] We're all going out
for a drink. Wanna come?
Gotta go.
It's, uh, it's just that
my mother-in-law is watching the kids.
Marga. Hiya, I'm going to
be late, just a little.
Do you mind feeding the kids?
There's chicken and rice in the fridge.
Oh, thanks. You're the nicest. [chuckles]
[Cynthia] Hey, look. Estefanía Valero.
InstaMommy, 1.5 million followers.
She's tried to kill herself three times.
One time for each kid.
What is this place?
A clinic for influencers?
"Disconnect to reconnect."
Hello, hello. Welcome, ladies.
Your phones have to be left right here.
[gasps] Oh, this is wild!
Three days without a phone. [chuckles]
Thank you. [chuckles]
[clears throat] Daniela.
- Daniela!
- [both laugh]
[woman] Thank you.
- [Raúl] Fuck me.
- [Santi] What do you think this is worth?
- You're the appraiser here.
- Huh, this
The guy who owns this
is either a drug dealer
or one of those exiled oligarchs
with tons of money to burn.
- They didn't freeze their bank accounts?
- Not his, no.
Hey, we gotta go mingle, right, Luis?
Just reminding you.
- Ooh. [whistles]
- Stop pressuring me, dude.
- I'm gonna need these to mingle.
- [laughing]
You should post some selfies
to show off to Daniela.
Grow up, dude. That's so immature.
Why do you think they invented Stories?
To make people jealous.
Look, there's no signal.
This guy has a signal jammer
so they can't drop a missile on him.
Anyway, the general vibe here's
a bit sexist, you know?
There's just a lot more women than men.
That's good, no?
It's positive discrimination.
It depends on the situation.
This place looks like a rap video.
This place is paradise.
Why are you complaining, bro?
Hey, and if they're prostitutes,
how would we know?
We can always ask Pedro. He's the expert.
No, no, no, no, I'm not joking, okay?
No way will I ever support any pimp
who's into exploiting women and
- Hey, hey, watch out, watch out.
- What's up? Huh? Oh.
Guys, please join me.
I'd like you to meet Yuri.
There's no need for that.
Thanks for the offer.
Come on, let's go meet this oligarch guy.
Natasha, which way we going?
Man, he's letting his hair down.
Let's go dance.
- [chuckles]
- [dance music playing]
- Marbella style.
- [camera shutter clicks]
- [sniffles]
- [door closes]
- Marga, sweetie.
- Shh!
The kids are asleep, don't.
So sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just
it's just the class ran over, because it
Really, you're telling me
it ran seven hours over?
Well, it's 'cause the teacher's
from Argentina. He just talks a lot.
Esther, I can tell you're drunk.
Wait, no, hey, no, it was an assignment.
I mean, they make you get drunk
so you lose your inhibitions.
If you've started up cheating
on my son again
I mean, it's not that easy.
Marga, Mar Marga, I'd be very grateful
if you didn't tell Luis about this, okay?
What's the point? [exhales]
Poor woman. So joyless.
You're still awake?
Go to bed. Back, back to bed now.
Your breath stinks.
Well, it's my heat rub.
Sprained ankle. Oh, careful, honey.
Got a beautiful house here. Really.
But, you know, as an architect,
I'd say it's not very functional.
Hmm? For example, um,
the master bedroom
right over the swimming area, wrong!
You know, because you could be
taking a nap, and the kids wake you up.
I don't allow any children here,
only pretty girls.
Ah, that's another thing
I, uh, wanna talk to you about, Yuri.
It's amazing. Your party's pretty cool.
Don't you think
it's all a little bit patriarchal?
Not following you.
Do you know anything
about toxic masculinity?
Do you have courses in Russia?
What the hell are you even talking about?
I just think that
that these girls, with all due respect,
you're objectifying them a little bit
and they're pretty young for you, Yuri.
But I like young girls.
Who the fuck likes old ladies?
Right, but have you asked yourself,
do they like you too?
Of course they like Yuri.
[in Russian] Do you like me?
[in English] Why wouldn't they like me?
Hmm, hmm, yeah.
Mm, uh, great to meet you, Yuri.
My pleasure.
Gonna join my buddy, okay?
He's over there on his own.
What's his deal?
He isn't he enjoying the party?
- Ekaterina!
- Jesus Christ!
[in Russian] Go talk to that guy.
He's bored.
[in English] Well, no, uh, it's fine.
He's just a bit uneasy, all the security.
The signal jammers for the missiles.
Gets crazy ideas 'cause he's a cop,
these, you know, these stupid ideas.
[chuckles] But, uh, no worries.
[in Russian] That guy
is taking too many photos.
He's a cop, and he told me I was ugly.
- [in English] What are you doing?
- Get the fuck outta here.
- Come on.
- Don't touch me! He took my cellphone!
Show them your badge.
What the hell is going on?
Whoa, hey! Hold on! Hold on!
No, no. We're all friends of Natasha.
Na Natasha! Where the fuck's Natasha?
[Luis] Jesus.
- [Santi] Ow, hey! You're hurting my arm!
- Wait, wait up! [grunts]
- Hey! Come on! Jesus!
- Hey! Hey!
- Whoa! Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- They're so aggressive, man.
Give me back my cellphone, asshole!
- Whoa!
- [Luis] Hey!
You guys should know
that guns are phallic symbols
that reveal your masculinity's fragility.
- [Luis] Okay, we're going. We're going!
- Fragile! Hey, hands off!
How are you so relaxed
about hanging out with gangsters?
- But such a pussy when things get real?
- Man, what the hell!
This asshole just tried
to deconstruct that oligarch guy.
It's just the feminists
were right all along.
How sexism is a structural problem,
and as individuals, we can do nothing.
Should've let him go back to Madrid.
- Why'd you insist that he stay?
- What time is our train?
- It's at seven. It's quarter past four.
- [Santi groans]
Why didn't you do anything?
You're the worst cop ever.
- I'm not even on duty now.
- Well, I can't survive without a phone.
Guys, there still might be
something open in Puerto Banús.
Look at him. Now he's a party animal.
I'm hungry.
You guys want a kebab?
- [Raúl laughs]
- [Pedro] Don't be an asshole.
We gotta document the trip.
And they took your phone away.
It's all backed up on iCloud.
I'm recovering it now.
- [beeps]
- [cell phone chimes]
- Daniela?
- Ángela.
Asking about my doc appointment. That was
the excuse I gave her to get the day off.
If you're gonna report her, don't be nice.
She might use that against you.
I'm not gonna report her.
That's humiliating.
So sleeping with someone
you don't like to keep your job isn't?
- No one will ever find out.
- You're gonna do it?
That's right.
Give her a good bang. There you go.
- And if she wants more?
- Well, give her a bad one.
- What if she fires me?
- Just give her a regular one.
How do I just make it regular?
Oh, I don't know. Don't ask me.
[Pedro] Ah, fuck this.
I'll ask her to dinner tonight
and get her off my back.
- Then why'd we even go see Patrick?
- [cell phone ringing]
Come on. Move it, move it.
- Fuck's sake, you're so annoying.
- [grunts] Move, come on!
You're a giant, for fuck's sake. Oh.
Hey, hello. Uh, did you get my message?
Yes, and as a friend, you planning
to record a woman saying that she wants
to have sex with you is a little worrying,
I gotta say.
Right, and as a lawyer?
Santi, that law is there
to prevent sexual assaults.
- If you two like each other
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
But I wanna do things right.
I don't wanna lose my job.
Ask her for permission to record,
'cause otherwise it's not valid proof.
Ah, importantly, she must be
in full use of her mental faculties.
Not too drunk or too stoned or
- How do I prove that though?
- Well, that's the problem.
You can't ask her to blow
into a breathalyzer before you screw her.
Expedited shipping.
Arrives before seven. Great.
Okay. Ah, batteries.
[gasps] Did I snore?
When I post a photo in a bikini,
if you can see one stretch mark
or a tiny bit of cellulite,
I always have to add some stupid tag,
like, "Body Positive,"
before people start attacking me.
But they always do anyway.
[woman] I've been a feminist activist
influencer for seven years.
Every day I get hate mail about my Tweet
from when I was 15 slut-shaming Shakira.
- [laughs]
- [woman] They're a bunch of hypocrites.
They still haven't forgiven me
for an ad for processed baby food.
I made the mistake
of promoting cryptocurrencies.
Oh, yeah, same. How could we
have known they were so dangerous?
Even Ronaldo promoted them.
I'm actually fine.
My sister's the one who's fucked up.
[Daniela] Yep, my friends.
I drank, and I got high.
And my night was the best time ever.
And so what? What, so I'm the
only one who goes out partying?
I think you're all a bunch
of hypocrite haters.
Fucking morality police.
And you're all hidden
behind your own anonymity.
A lot of you people go
on about mental health.
But you all are asshole bullies!
I had to invent
all that spiked-drink bullshit
because the brands I represented
got shit-scared
and dumped me because
of the fucking memes you all made.
Saying I have anorexia, that I'm a junkie,
that I'm a sellout,
that I'm a whore, that
- Go fuck yourselves. [kisses]
- [Cynthia] What are you doing?
- How'd you get your phone?
- I had another one.
- In case I heard from Pedro.
- Pedro? See how bad you really are?
[Daniela] I'm going home now.
Aren't you staying
to watch the concert with Tibetan bowls?
Mami, how are you?
Well, still here. I've been waiting
for you for over 20 minutes.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I'm still processing your phone call.
I know things
started out weird between us.
Yeah, I was thinking
that maybe we should try
I'd like a beer, please.
[chuckles] To get along.
You know, get to know each other.
Mm-hmm. Miss Lawyer, go right ahead.
You can start your questioning.
Well, uh, I don't know.
What can you tell me?
So, I'm a guy with a lot of charisma,
a talented thinker and a great lover.
And given the fact that
my father is a millionaire, as you know,
I'd say I'm a pretty desirable.
I shouldn't say so myself, huh?
Oh, and modesty. Modesty for me
is definitely an important thing.
Ah. And about your father,
do you get along?
How's your relationship?
Oh, we're jumping to childhood traumas.
Oh, what are they?
Boarding school in Switzerland
definitely strained our connection.
But I learned to ski there,
and I discovered drugs as well.
- Mm.
- Well, then, taken as a whole.
What score would you give him as a father?
Oh, sure.
So I guess that's your next step, Luz?
You'll baby-trap him
and have him raise it for you.
It's your father who wants
to have a baby, you shithead.
I don't know.
Maybe he's not happy with the first one.
So, I'm gonna have a baby brother?
Now I'm not sure.
What if he's also an asshole?
Where you going? But I thought
we were trying to get along?
- [Luis] Honey, I'm home.
- [door closes]
[exhales, sniffs]
Oh, wow. They already repaired the train.
- How have things been here?
- Fine, normal.
- Normal? Hmm.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
My mom told me you came back
totally shitfaced at five in the morning.
Come on. It was 3:30.
And you? Hmm?
I called the station, and they said
there weren't any problems with the train.
It got to the station at 11:28, so
Esther, the kids are impressionable,
and you're their role model here.
Did they see you like that?
- No, they were asleep then.
- Ah.
And what the hell is this?
What did you do in Málaga?
- Marbella.
- Marbella?
Ugh. We went
to this Russian oligarch's mansion.
- Then they threw us out at gunpoint.
- Cut the bullshit please.
I'm being serious. What about you?
Luis, I have a lot of partying
to catch up on.
I became a mother very young.
Oh, come on.
You had Ulises when you were 37.
- That's still young.
- Listen, I really need to go lie down.
- My neck's killing me from the train.
- No, don't. We have to go to therapy.
- Therapy, what for?
- I don't know. It's on the calendar.
It's an open marriage now?
- [Esther] Mm-hmm.
- Interesting. How's it going?
Well, um, very well. No?
Yes. Yeah, very well. Very well.
- Are you happy, hon?
- For sure.
- Mm.
- You?
Yeah, I'm happy, too.
So then, you've both
been with other partners?
Uh, we decided not
to talk to each other about that.
Well, that's why we're here. To talk.
Yeah, well, let's listen to the doctor.
No, no. I'll certainly respect whatever
arrangement you both have agreed to.
- [exhales]
- Hmm? Huh? Respect.
How's your sex life
been since then? Improved?
- Well, it's just I've had so much work.
- Uh, well, it's there's our work.
- The kids, it's, uh [sighs]
- Mm-hmm.
Listen, if you're not having sex,
then this is not a relationship.
You're just friends.
[Esther] Hmm.
Hi, welcome. Do you have a reservation?
No. I'm Raúl, the owner, uh, partner.
- Ah. Lucía. Great to meet you.
- Uh.
- Ah.
- I'm the hostess.
Very well. Very well. Hmm.
- Diego here yet?
- Yes, he's with some friends. Follow me.
[clicks tongue]
Your trip was good?
Good, good, good. [gasps]
- Hey, what is a hostess?
- Hot chick who shows people to tables.
Oh. And what else does she do?
Well, nothing else.
It makes the restaurant classy.
Isn't that objectifying her?
What? You looked at her ass just now.
- Yeah, right. It does make sense.
- Weren't you saying there's no parity?
Well, now you have a woman.
Fine, but you should've
consulted me about that.
I told your mother. She loved the idea.
My mom has no say here. I'm the owner.
Lucía, come here a moment.
What are you doing?
Do you feel objectified here?
- Me? Why?
- No, no, no. It's nothing. It's nothing.
- Back to it, sweetheart. You look so hot.
- [laughs]
- What? Don't touch her ass, dude.
- Advantage of being gay.
Come on, I'll introduce you.
- No, no, I'm gonna check the reservations.
- What for? We only have four tables.
Hey, guys, wanna introduce Raúl.
He's my business partner.
Hey, handsome.
Guys, remember these Delichocos?
Well, got 400 calories and 17 grams
of sugar per serving of this bullshit.
Just go get a doughnut, you know.
They don't taste like cardboard,
and they're cheaper.
And this here? Bodhisattva Tea.
Fifteen bucks for this, for an herbal
tea that tastes like what? Cloudy water?
And doesn't do anything.
No weight loss at all.
With this here, the only thing
you lose is your will to live, for real.
SensiSoft Skincare.
"Anti-aging," it says here. Gimme a break.
"With marine DNA,"
just another load of bullshit.
Tomorrow, I'll show you
those organic yoga leggings,
so you see how long they held up.
[kisses] Bye.
What are you doing? Have you gone crazy?
[Daniela] I'm not
an influencer anymore, Patri.
I am now [clicks tongue]
an influ-hater.
Ha ha. [clicks tongue]
Expedited shipping, my ass.
Expedited shipping.
What's the problem?
What? "Package has been delivered"?
Nothing's been delivered.
- You need some condoms? I gotcha.
- Man. [scoffs]
Who ordered a breathalyzer?
Oh, shit. [exhales]
Okay, Blanca, don't open my packages.
Let me know when they arrive, could you?
- He's got a date tonight?
- And you too, Mom.
- Oh! Andrés.
- Iñaki. Andrés tomorrow. Mm.
Patrick, it's Raúl.
We just saw each other.
We had some sardines.
- How the hell did you get my number?
- Santi gave it to me. Hey, listen.
- I'm gonna have to start charging you.
- Can a gay person be misogynistic?
Of course.
But wasn't heteropatriarchy the problem?
No. No, no, no.
The patriarchy is the patriarchy.
If you're a man, you can be an oppressor.
And that means a gay man
can grab a female employee's ass?
Or is that wrong?
Are you even listening to me?
Patrick, I have to go because
Pedro decided to fuck his boss.
His boss. Wh what?
Right, okay.
How do I make the bang regular?
First of all, don't go down on her.
No oral sex.
Right, but if she does,
I gotta do it for her.
Well, go down, but not too long.
So she feels you're doing it for the job.
Main thing is she can't get off.
- Oh, God.
- Just look like you're bored.
Let her ride you for a while,
then you come home and tell me about it.
- [exhales] Right.
- [cell phone chimes]
[Raúl] What?
It's a text from Daniela.
Ma'am, Mr. Pedro just wrote you.
See, Patri? I started being authentic,
and things started working for me.
- Mm.
- It's good karma.
Mm-hmm! Yes, ma'am. [exhales]
Mm-hmm. Hello.
- Found a good space. That's great.
- Nice.
- [sighs]
- Well, um
Well, that was so good.
The restaurant was quite good.
Well, besides, I'd never
never been to that place before, actually.
- The pricing was good too. Really.
- Mm-hmm.
Because these days, it's just,
if you're not careful about where you go,
you spend a fortune.
You have to watch out.
Wanna come up?
[both grunt, moan]
[Paula moans]
- Take it off.
- Huh?
- Shit. Fuck, here it is.
- Yeah, yeah, ready now.
[both grunting]
- No, wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait!
- What?
- Wait! Wait!
- What? What? What?
[exhales] I wanna play a game first.
Look, let's see who's the most drunk.
What do you say, hmm? [laughs]
You have a breathalyzer?
I'm getting worried.
Come on, do it. Do it. Blow hard.
- [groans]
- Come on.
- Seriously?
- Well, yeah.
Hold on, hold on. Let's record it.
Wow, what a great idea.
And we can keep it as a memory.
It'll be super fun.
Go on, do it.
- What's wrong with you?
- Hmm.
Nothing, I'm totally fine.
You want me to take a breathalyzer test
before we do it?
That's not normal at all.
Uh, all right, yes. Look, it's just that
that before we have sex,
I'd like to get your active consent.
Uh, that's all. Just to make sure
that you're in agreement.
And to participate
in a sexual act honestly,
positively, voluntarily,
consciously, soberly, and continually.
I hope I didn't leave anything out.
And where'd you learn all this stuff?
Was it that deconstruction course
you took, or was it from your coach?
Same one. His name is Patrick.
- And he's an amazing dude. He's the man.
- All right.
- Huh?
- Ooh, what a mess.
Hello, I'm Paula Villar. I'm horny,
and I wanna fuck this guy right here.
- Here we go.
- Say hello.
- Uh, hello. Hey, there. Hello.
- Mm.
- Consenting?
- Yes.
- Yeah? Me too, yep.
- Yes, I consent too.
And I'm gonna show you that I'm not drunk
with this certified breathalyzer here.
- What, like this?
- Yeah. Yes.
- Breathe deeply. That's it.
- [exhales]
Now, fill your lungs.
- [beeps]
- That's it. It beeped.
- That's good.
- Oh, shit. It's .12.
- [chuckles]
- It's that margarita.
I swear, one margarita, that's all.
- [beeps]
- That's it, right?
Uh, well, uh, just in case.
- Say your ID number, spell your last name.
- Come on, that's enough. Mmm!
[classical music playing]
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