Ballers (2015) s03e09 Episode Script

Crackback

1 I'm selling my company.
It's the least you could do.
(Upbeat music) IMG has put an offer out on the table to purchase ASM.
I talked to New England this morning.
They'd rather you be emotionally damaged than physically.
What I'm gonna tell you is, like, top secret.
I'm not right in the head.
We need to hire the man that helped lay the bricks of Miami's success: Larry Csonka! Seaford didn't buy it? When are you gonna hear me out? According to your test results, you do have functioning swimmers.
They're just declining at a rapid rate.
I suggest you hop on your pony and ride, cowboy.
Did you just Kane is in the building, nigga (music playing) Now tell me how you love it, you know you at the top When only heaven's right above it, we on 'Cause we on Who else is really trying to fuck with Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G, bro Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows And I wanna tell you something that you probably should know This that "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood flow And, uh My real friends never hearing from me Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos And these days all the girls is down to roll I hit the strip club and all them bitches find the pole Plus, I been sippin', so this shit is moving kinda slow Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go (men shouting) There's a ton of excitement here in San Francisco about what might come from this weekend's owners' meetings.
It might be excitement here in San Francisco, but across the bay here in Oakland, they're about getting ready to burn their Oakland Raider jerseys.
Man, it's a done deal, dawg.
Once the Governor of Nevada passed legislation, sorry to tell Yay Area, it's a wrap.
Listen, if I'm Mark Davis, I'm not packing my bags until I get final approval from the other owners and the league.
My sources have, in fact, confirmed that Mark Davis has secured a new barber in Las Vegas.
Hair jokes, hair jokes from bald guys.
Jealousy! Let it go - Hey.
- Hey.
(sighs) Day after.
"It's never too late.
" Yeah, I'm sorry about the misfire last night.
I thought I had a couple more pumps in me.
Don't worry, I'm not trying to wring another apology out of you.
Yeah, but it was all out of passion.
- And I was so in the moment.
- (both chuckle) Plus, I was fucking hammered.
Jesus, they package these things like Russian stacking dolls.
I feel like by the time I get this open, there's gonna be a smaller paper bag with a smaller box and a smaller pill inside.
Hey, you know, maybe they make them that way so you, uh, can reconsider.
Yeah, or maybe they want my water to break before I can take the damn thing.
You tense about the proposal? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, a little.
You know, um, Bossman has the owners in his pocket, but my pitch is airtight, but you never know.
- It would be a big payday for you.
- Yeah.
Hey, Chloe, maybe, um maybe you don't take that.
What? You never thought about having a kid? I wasn't thinking about it right now.
(chuckles) Well, maybe we should.
Is this because your midlife crisis has you suddenly wanting a child, or is this because you wanna have a child with me? Feed it, change it, teach it, love it together as a family? - Yeah.
- Man on P.
A.
: Change of gate.
We have a change of gate.
Flight 729 to Dulles will now be departing at gate 15.
Well, my flight is about to board.
Good luck in San Fran.
I hope you're more eloquent with the owners than you were with me.
Hey, we board in 10.
I was gonna come over and say hi, but I don't know, it looked like it was getting pretty deep over here.
You okay? I don't fucking know.
(chuckles) That usually means you're not.
- (camera clicking) - No one knows this roster better than me.
I'll put 53 men on the field that Dolphins fans can be proud of.
Build this team with toughness.
I intend to win football games, and a lot of them, come September.
- Mark my words.
- What about your age? What about your face? What about my face? That's what you're gonna be asking the medic after I slap you silly, kid.
- (all laughing) - Csonka: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
(mutters) Thank you.
(reporters murmuring) Man, you got me all fired up and ready to get back in the trenches and bash some heads.
Oh, no, no, you're too valuable upstairs.
And, by the way, thank you for what you've done.
Oh, no, no, no, this move was long overdue.
No, what's overdue is the Lombardi Trophy.
Now, we need to get out and find some guys that can knock the snot out of people.
Yeah, sure hope I'm around for that.
Siefert's gonna go on the warpath 'cause I went over his head.
I wouldn't worry about that.
You don't know his dark side like I know it.
Hey, look around.
Do you see Siefert here? You took care of me, now it's my turn to take care of you.
(music playing) (trolley bell ringing) Joe: Dude, you gotta let the Chloe thing go.
Oh, my God, I'm looking at "Bleacher Report.
" No, you're not! You're checking to see if she called you or texted you.
You had your fucking phone off airplane mode before we even touched down.
If I were an air marshal, I would've arrested you for being a fucking pussy.
Wow.
- I'm worried about her.
- Bullshit! You just put 20 people out of work, Spence.
Right now, the only thing you need to be worried about is nailing that proposal.
We're past the point of no return.
(sighs) You can go back to screwing up your relationship with Chloe after, I promise.
Driver: First stop Fairmont Hotel.
Look, you're not a bad guy.
I don't agree with this sale, but my job is to back you up no matter what.
So go stand tall in this meet with the Raiders.
Okay? Focus on the endgame.
- Thank you.
I'll talk to you later.
- Love you, buddy.
- Are you here for the owners' meeting? - Yeah.
Long way from burying quarterbacks, I'll tell you.
Man, I would kill for a clean shot at Jay Cutler right now.
That dopey motherfucker's O-line would part like the Red Sea.
(chuckles) Silver and black would've suited you perfectly.
You think so? Yeah, man, your style of play was made for the Raider brand.
(phone chimes) (distant horn honks) (sighs) Next stop: Raider Nation.
Yeah Don't play Nah, I wanna take care of us.
Please come back.
- I'm ready to be a dad.
- (bong bubbling) Yeah, yeah, look, we don't have to worry about that now, okay? All right, have a good day at work.
Oh, Amber, I love you.
Let me get you a towel for that.
(sighs) - (glass crunches) - Did you take your medication? Yeah.
I think it's time to roll back your dosage.
- What you talking about? - You just got rid of Amber.
Now you're trying to bring her back? She sent me this ultrasound picture from L.
A.
- I started missing her.
- You barely even know this girl.
How the fuck can you be in love with her? I mean, I'm not in love with her, but I do love her.
She's my baby mama.
I think these pills are making things worse.
The shrink don't know you got a concussion.
- Neither do the Pats.
- Well, they don't need to know.
You're signing your new contract this afternoon.
That's today? Yeah, the Pats are on their way down from Boston.
What the fuck are you gonna do? Take whatever offer they give me.
The concussion will go away eventually.
Don't pin the new attitude on the pills either.
I know how to embrace change.
- Send this to Amber.
- (camera clicks) That baby look like Dennis.
(sighs) So, uh, Mark running a little late? Well, truth is things have gotten somewhat complicated.
Now that the governor signed legislation, there's been a surge of interest in the move.
- The Raiders are hot, baby.
- (Spencer chuckles) Mark's dealing with a competing offer.
- What?! - It's a new group that came in.
Very aggressive.
Okay, well, I've been aggressive, too, huh? - What the fuck is this, Tim? - Whoa, Spence.
Come on, you know Tim's position on foul language.
We expect you to respect that, so ixnay the ucksfay.
Uckfay, who is it? Can't say.
Come on, we were in a good faith negotiation.
- It's a fluid situation.
- I was here when it mattered.
I helped you break down walls.
You should've told me.
Told you what? It wasn't real until today.
Now they're coming in with a boatload of cash.
Okay, we have the cash, we have the land to build the stadium, we have it all.
But you're not endorsed by the league.
This new group is.
The league? You trust the goddamn the gosh darn league? No, but nothing gets done without their stamp.
Shifty as they may be, they have the power to shut this whole thing down.
Okay, then somebody should remind Mark that they couldn't stop his dad from taking the Raiders to L.
A.
in '82.
Mark isn't Al.
He's taking a new approach.
And these are much different times.
Yeah, a man's word once meant something.
You're still in the running.
You have a great package with powerful partners.
And Mark looks forward to hearing your enhanced proposal.
- Man: We all do.
- Enhanced proposal? (stammering) What the fuck what the ucksay does that mean? You gotta step it up.
Try giving us a fresh approach.
(knocks) Can I come in? Grab me that box.
You do somersaults coming down the hall? Could've sworn I felt the building shaking.
I'd probably blow out my knee if I tried.
You played the game well, Charles.
Made all the right moves, waited for the best time to strike, then took it.
Hey, man, - I just wanted to get the best coach.
- (scoffs) It was never my intention for them to let you go.
One of these days, you're gonna have to recognize you're a killer.
Only way to survive the front office.
Ain't no joy in this for me.
I wouldn't even be standing here if it weren't for you.
You're a quick study.
Look, come on, don't throw away your favorite mug.
A fan waited at the gate to give that to me on my first day.
To remind me what to strive for.
We make it back to the playoffs and I'm out the door.
Just doesn't seem right.
You should keep it for when they bump you up.
(scoffs) Yeah, right.
I'm sure I'm at the top of their shortlist with only one year under my belt as an assistant.
You're more than that, Charles.
A coach and GM gotta work as one.
Now they hired Csonka, you're the natural choice to take my place.
You have an exceptional ability to evaluate talent.
Picking out the stars and the bottom guys isn't hard.
But finding those guys in the middle, that's how you earn your keep.
- Guess it's just instinct.
- It's conviction.
Same as I had in you.
Goodbye, Charles.
(men laughing) Yo, you and Spence hitting the town tonight? This time, don't leave my ass, dawg.
You take too long getting your makeup on or something.
Oh, that's how it is now? Trust me, you wanted to be left last year.
First time I ever stole a car.
- You stole a car? - Marcellus: Damn! Man, you're lucky you didn't go.
Your black ass would still be in jail.
Yeah, you know that, brother, especially right now.
Glazer: You should've seen Spencer.
Oh, my gosh! He was like a donkey at a Tijuana donkey show out of control.
You know, I thought that thing was like Sasquatch.
You know, a total urban legend.
- (phone ringing) - Excuse me, guys.
- Hey, how'd it go? - Well, the shit just hit the fan and it splattered all over our fucking deal.
- Don't fuck with me.
- I'm not.
That evil bitch Candace just endorsed a competing offer.
What? She's been trying to keep the team out of Vegas.
Well, it turns out it's not Vegas she hates.
Well, she was totally fair with me.
It's 'cause she was totally faking when you met with her.
Yeah, well, it wouldn't be the first time a woman faked it with me.
(chuckles) I'll see you when you get here, okay? All right.
- (clears throat) - (elevator dings) - Mr.
Krutel.
- Yeah.
Good to see you.
Glad to see Vernon's staying off the pipe.
You guys are finally being productive.
- (chuckles) All right.
- Excuse me.
Yeah, uh, thank you for knocking down Vern's suspension.
- That was very nice.
- It's the right thing to do.
I guess I'm not such an evil bitch after all.
(chuckles) Wha what? I never called you an that.
Hmm, I'm sure Spencer has tried to spin it that way.
- We've had our differences.
- That's just business.
He has always referred to you with the utmost respect, - as have I.
- I'm sure.
Mm-hmm.
So, uh, what you got cooking here? I'm not much of a cook, but I can dial for takeout with the best.
(chuckles) I don't know.
I think you're a pretty good cook.
Yeah, stealthy.
You've been whipping up a Vegas stew for a few weeks, huh? Oh, I'm just watching Roger's back.
No skin in the game.
Yeah, guess so.
(sighs) - Guess so.
- (both chuckling) Evil bitch.
You should've told me sooner.
Ricky would've freaked the fuck out, man! He swore me to secrecy.
Yeah, but four months after the season is not a good sign! I know that, and the fact that he's hiding it means that he knows it, too.
Could be chronic this late in his career.
Yeah, and pair that with the bipolar shit I think he should retire while he's still got all his marbles.
You thought he'd freak out for you telling me about the concussion? You wait till you see what he does if you tell him to retire.
Might be more receptive than you think.
You can kick that boy in the nuts right now and get a thank you out of him.
- Your boy's gone soft.
- Man, what are you, four? Put the fucking ice cream cone down.
Fuck you, Dennis.
This is my snack! Then eat it out a bowl like a man.
Don't tell me how to eat.
I don't tell you how to eat I can't talk to you seriously Look, I'ma need y'all to clear the hell outta here.
Can't have y'all arguing about ice cream cones and shit while I'm handling business.
(whispers) Tell him.
Hey, son, uh, we need to talk.
- You told him.
- I had to, man! I haven't slept right since you found out.
You sleep 14 hours a day.
Yeah, but it hasn't been as restful.
Man, look, this is serious.
Look, I got a bunch of friends who are struggling with the dementia and the depression for getting their bell rung.
My bell is fine.
Dave Duerson, a friend of mine, you know, I saw what the game did to the man.
He shot himself in the chest with his Man of the Year award sitting right next to him and a note that said he wanted his brain studied.
All I'm saying, Ricky, is get medical help.
Then after you heal, then decide if you wanna play on.
- (seagulls screeching) - Sh (music playing) There's a lot of folks don't like to see what life's like for the have-nots.
(chuckles) You know, I used to be a have-not.
That don't seem to be the case anymore.
Hey, don't let this tie fool you.
- What's your name? - Melvin.
Melvin Graham.
Melvin Graham, Spencer Strasmore.
- It's good to meet you.
- Likewise.
- Where you from? - Just three blocks east.
- You a Raiders fan? - Runs in the blood.
You gonna be sad to see 'em go? (sighs) You know, it's hard to say.
I mean, they dipped once before, but like a good woman, they came back.
(chuckles) Just gonna hurt a little more now that they're ballin' and Beast Mode is back.
You drive exclusively for the team? 20-plus years.
Started when they got back from L.
A.
I used to drive for Al.
(chuckles) Now I drive whoever needs driving.
Best gig I ever had.
Guess how many kids I got.
- One? Two, tops.
- Eight.
Not to mention six grandkids with two more on the way.
Wow! Putting in that work, Melvin.
They're a pain in my ass, too.
Those little bastards are worth every cent, though.
You know, you should try it sometime.
- How do you know I haven't? - The way you talking, ain't no chance in west hell you got kids.
How am I talking? Like ain't nothing more important in life than your job.
President: Siefert's playoff record was abysmal.
He wasn't exactly helped by his scouting staff.
Eh, Siefert hired those scouts.
- Touché.
- What would you do with them? You know, I'd clean house.
A lot of talent to be found out there.
Definitely allocate some more money to the department.
Right now, we're at about 3 million per year, which is less than 2% than we spend on the players.
Hey, listen, the reason I asked you down here - (exhales) - we are not gonna let you go.
I want you to stay on in the number two spot.
- Oh, okay.
- Yep.
We just need to find your new boss.
Charles Greane is here for the organization.
Well, hold down the fort.
Something comes up, run it by Csonka or myself.
We're gonna move fast on this hire.
(exhales) Just just one last thing.
Won't the new GM wanna bring on his own number two? Well, that's up to him.
I can't make any promises there.
Joe: Last time I saw this much white hair, I was watching the History channel.
- Heyo! - (chuckles) Okay, well, listen, why don't you stop being a hater and go out here, find your, uh, trophy wife? (chuckles) Oh, okay.
(music playing) (sighs) Hello.
Well, congratulations, Spencer.
You're at the top of the heap.
- Not yet.
- Mmm.
(chuckles) So, Candace, tell me, which one of these assholes do I have to take out? Candace: I'm not sure what you mean.
Well, what I mean is I had a very solid deal that, um, everybody was on board with until you came in and endorsed a dark horse in the 11th hour.
They brought us a complete package, invited us into the process, showed the respect we deserve.
Ah.
(chuckles) You still think I took a shot at you on Glazer's show - all those years ago, don't you? - (scoffs) Spencer, it is so sad how you dismiss my opinions and brush me off.
Candace, I would've done and said the same thing if you were a man.
Well, I'm not a man.
And that's more threatening to you than anything.
Though, I'm sure if we were fucking, I'd be permitted a point of view.
You think I'm coming on to you 'cause I mentioned us fucking.
(chuckles) Hey, no, okay? Just because you deal with football players doesn't mean that you have me pegged.
It's written all over your face.
God damn, Candace, what is your problem? I mean, jee hello.
- Table's yours.
- Man: Thank you.
I mean, come on, I'm not running around, abusing women.
I'm not grabbing anybody by the pussy.
(both chuckling) I was born in football, and and the culture is the culture.
Some rise above it, some don't.
I'd like to think that I have, but I still make mistakes.
You working for the league doesn't help matters.
Candace, if I have done anything to offend you, I apologize.
Okay, I accept.
Great! (chuckles) Thank you.
Now will you tell me who's in on the competing offer? No.
- Just like a woman.
- (both chuckling) Spencer, this deal is far bigger than you or your views on the fairer sex.
Take a look around this room, Spencer.
- (Spencer sighs) - Now, which one of us is different from the others, hmm? You simply don't belong here.
And neither do you.
You're right.
That's why we should merge the bids.
The new group assumes majority of the financial responsibility while yours takes a back seat, but still benefits in the end.
Everyone profits, and your boss Anderson doesn't need to sacrifice ASM to get what he wants.
- He already has.
- Well, there's still time to pivot.
Join with the other investors, Spencer.
You can't win.
They won't let you.
(woman laughing) Belichick wanted to come, but he's stuck in Nantucket.
Yeah, well, he wouldn't leave 'Sconset in the summer to sign J.
J.
Watt.
Appreciate you coming down.
Guess you want a first look to make sure I ain't speaking in tongues and smearing feces on the wall, huh? (chuckles) Brady does it all the time.
That wouldn't keep us from putting you on the field.
We got a two-year deal, 20 million total, 10 per year, 16 guaranteed.
- Just need you to sign here.
- (chuckles) (chuckles) It's a big moment.
Soak it in.
(exhales) Okay, just go ahead and sign, Rick.
- Ricky? - I have a concussion.
No, he doesn't.
That's the bipolar talking.
- Take it back.
- I've had it for months.
A private doctor diagnosed me, and, honestly, I haven't told anybody, including my agent.
- Sorry, J.
- Are you serious? - So, you're not bipolar? - No, I'm that, too.
But I'm taking the medication.
So, bipolar with a concussion.
That's uncharted territory.
Look, I really appreciate you being up front with us.
Well, it'd be good for me to see the team doc, right? I wanna get proper medical attention.
I'm not trying to rush on the field.
Absolutely.
Why don't I step outside? I'll make that phone call right now.
Sounds good.
(door opens) Why didn't you tell me this earlier, Ricky? - (door closes) - I was afraid.
- Now I'm at peace with it.
- Good.
- (car engine starts) - I just wanna get back on Is he taking off? - (car departs) - Yeah.
That'd be a good guess.
(music playing) I have to say - Love and happiness - Love and happiness - Love and happiness - Love and happiness Hey, I gotta tell you something, Mel, you weren't shittin'.
This is the best barbecue I've ever had, brother.
Yeah? You sure you ain't been to some better place off the South of France you might've forgot about? (chuckles) Do I look like I go to fucking France, huh? Is the place always jumping like this? Melvin: Hey, man, Friday night special a sure bet.
The only other time is when the Raiders are playing.
- This place go crazy.
- Ah.
Do you think this place gonna survive the move? Well, you know, I mean, the move's not official.
You know, anything could happen, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I put my hard-earned money - on Spencer Strasmore many times - Come on, brother.
and the man always came through for me.
Let me tell you something, that was on the football field, though.
This corporate shit is a different beast.
Different beast.
I don't know.
But you know what? No offense, man, but, you know, I hope you and your deal fall flat on your ass.
I mean, the team shouldn't be going anywhere.
And if they do, those rich motherfuckers should be paying for that shit themselves.
Hey, if we lose, a deal still gets made.
Right? The team still leaves and the stadium still gets built.
So it may as well stay in the hands of friends, right? Oh, so you're saying we're friends now? - Hey.
- Well, you just make sure my new friend keeps a piece of his soul.
- Amen to that.
- Amen.
Julie: Hey, baby.
I heard they fired Siefert.
Everybody at the hospital was talking about it.
Yeah.
Well, that's what you wanted.
I thought it was what I wanted, but now that he's gone, it's so strange.
Oh, baby, but he was treating you like shit.
It wasn't all bad.
Oh, baby.
I never see you drink coffee at night.
- I guess you got a lot of work to do? - (chuckles) - Oh! - (coughs) Whoo! You need some ice? So, baby, I'm thinking about resigning from my job.
What do you think about that? Well, I think most people have another job before they quit their job.
Yeah, but there's just no way the new GM will keep me on.
In his eyes, I'll always be Siefert's boy.
It's just that if I quit now, I control my own destiny, you know? I won't be nobody's pawn.
Okay.
We'll make it work.
I was trying to write my resignation letter, but I I just couldn't figure out where to start or how to start, what to say.
Ah, I got something to say.
"Dear Ungrateful Motherfuckers" - (music playing) - (clears throat) If I lose consciousness, just make sure to check my pulse, all right? You just make sure you crack a window back there.
I don't need you hotboxing my ride.
I'll take you back to the hotel now.
You're gonna need your rest for the big day tomorrow.
Takes a lot of energy to crush the heart of an entire city.
You all right? Let's make one more stop.
(siren wailing) - (car door closes) - (train horn blaring) You boys sure y'all wanna get out here? Yeah, we're good, Melvin.
You know it's not Sunday, right? I know exactly what day of the week it is, Melvin.
- You sure about that? - Yes, Melvin.
There's no need to worry about your new white friend, Joe, and your half-black, half what the fuck are you, again? Half-go-fuck-yourself.
We're good.
(chuckles) Go home to your family, Melvin.
How the hell you gonna even get in there? Where there's a will, Melvin We're gonna fly, Melvin! (whispers) We're gonna fly.
(grunts) Used to be pretty good at this.
Watch how it's done.
Crazy motherfuckers.
Joe: Jesus, look at this place.
(Spencer chuckles) It has its hidden charms.
Joe: Oh, yeah, like the ancient septic system carrying human waste into the breezeway? (sighs) Like history.
(distant train horn blaring) (phone ringing) Hello, Wayne.
You ready for tomorrow? - (piano music playing) - That depends, Spencer.
Are you ready to lay down your weapons and join a new team? - A super team? - (chuckles) - Not a chance in hell.
- That's a damn shame to hear.
I'm going with the other guys, the competing offer.
I guess I'll see you at the showdown.
What? He bolted on us.
We're on our own.
(sighs) (music playing) It's all about the motherfucking money It's all about the motherfucking money It's all about the motherfucking money It's all about the motherfucking money I be in the hood, drop Wrangler Toilet paper in my Porsche 'cause I'm shittin' 94th and Willmohr in the kitchen Cooking birds, niggas saying "thanks for giving" Arnold Schwarzenegger arm from the whippin' Arnold Schwarzenegger arm from the whippin' Won't reply to you niggas, sneak dissin' Suck a dick when you see me, know I'm grippin' - B-B-Boom - You never seen nothing like this Splash brothers with the aim I wish a nigga would, boy A nigga sleeping with your missus Nigga, call me Young 'Melo 'cause scoring is my shit, boy I'm CP3 'cause I'll be dishin' and handlin' the rock Chef cooking with the pot, boy It's all about the motherfucking money It's all about the motherfucking money It's all about the motherfucking money It's all about the motherfucking money