Bastard!! Heavy Metal, Dark Fantasy (2022) s01e05 Episode Script


[wind whooshing]
[Sheila gasping]
Burn to a crisp, you puny human brat!
Guns N' Ro!
[opening theme music playing]
[music fades]
[intense music playing]
[Efreet] Oh?
No. That son of a bitch!
He can use the same spell.
So it seems you know
a little bit of magic, do you?
[Dark Schneider grunting]
This is bad.
- My vision is blurry from the poison.
- [Sheila gasping]
[Dark Schneider groaning]
Clerics and wizards
use four different types of magic.
These categories are based
on the source of it's power.
[Lars exclaiming]
[Gara] The first type is magic based
on mental strength and life force.
The second type is white magic,
which gets its power
from faith in the gods.
The third type is dark magic,
which comes from making a pact
with a demon in Hell.
And the last type is spirit magic.
Oh? Aren't you a smart one.
So knowledgable.
Spirit magic is based on forming a pact
with spirits that live
in the four elemental planes,
earth, fire, water, wind.
Dark Schneider mainly uses
that and dark magic.
His specialty is lightning magic,
which comes from the wind elemental plane,
and flame magic,
which comes from the fire elemental plane.
Efreet comes from
the fire elemental plane.
Can you guess what that means
for Dark Schneider, young lady?
[Yoko] Oh no.
That's right!
If he uses any of his fire spells,
his most powerful magic,
there's no way
he'll be able to stop Efreet.
And that's not all.
If he tries to use Hellion,
it will only boost
the flame god's power more.
[Efreet cackling]
What's wrong, human?
Am I too strong for you?
[Efreet cackling]
Dark Schneider, are you okay?
No. This isn't good.
It's so hot!
It's at least twice as hot
as my own Guns N' Ro spell!
I need you to stay close to me!
The flames outside this barrier
are over 1,000 degrees!
They'll turn you to ash!
[Sheila grunting]
Well, I've heard of a spell
that might be able to help you.
It's one that can damage inhabitants
of the fire elemental plane.
All right. Tell me this spell of yours.
- Okay. It's a Cold spe!
- Nope.
I don't have that spell.
I never cared much
for the cooling element.
But you know,
Kall-Su was good at those.
No way! Then what can you do?
[Efreet cackling]
[Efreet] You call yourself a wizard,
but you don't even know a Cold spell?
Shut up, you stupid monster!
Humans all have
their own strengths and weaknesses!
They also love to make excuses.
No matter.
I'm going to turn that fire magic strength
of yours against you!
His flame attack will be hotter
than 2,000 degrees.
This room's about
to turn into a sea of magma!
[Efreet] I call upon
[Dark Schneider]
This barrier won't protect both of us.
[Sheila gasping]
You can wait for me here.
[yelping] What are you doing?
You can't leave me!
[Dark Schneider] Let's go, you monster!
Die, human!
Hellion Flame!
Dark Schneider!
It seems the fight has begun.
[Yoko] Did Lucien really
I-if he's here,
then how did they break the seal?
I-I mean,
did some other woman kiss Lucien?
No. Who could have done that?
[knight] Hey! This way!
This wall has been destroyed as well.
[Head Knight] Hmm.
[knight] It must've been him.
He's incredibly strong.
So this is the power of magic.
[knight] It's so hot in here.
[Head Knight] We need to find
the source of that rumbling. Stay focused!
[knight 2] Hey! Look!
What's that over there?
[Head Knight] What the hell is going on?
Is that magma?
[hard rock music playing]
Have you gone mad, human?
Are you hoping to get burned
to death, you puny imbecile?
The measly life of a human goes by
in the blink of an eye.
And you decided to throw yours away!
What a fool!
[Sheila] No!
[Dark Schneider grunting]
Brain, brain, now you're brain-dead.
What the
Are you really trying
to cast a spell from within the fire?
He's doing it!
Obey our covenant of blood.
Come forth from the land of Abbadon
No way you're using that spell!
That idiot!
Stop this, human!
Fire magic won't work
against the likes of me!
Gehenna flames, form a fiery blast
and burn through all before me!
[Efreet] Hmm? I said it won't work!
[Dark Schneider] Go, Exodus!
[Efreet] No way!
Bastard! How did you do this?
It's over 20,000 degrees,
hotter than the melting point of rock!
I used the super-high temperature flames
and added my spell on top.
For someone with my magic power level,
it was no sweat at all.
Die, demon!
[Efreet] You used
my Hellion spell to help you?
There's no way!
[Dark Schneider roaring]
So you've arrived, Dark Schneider.
[Yoko gasping]
[Yoko shrieking]
I can't believe he used
an extra-hot flame spell
to slay the demon god of fire himself!
[Efreet groaning]
This is the only time I've actually lost,
ever since I was born
[Efreet grunting]
over 300 years ago.
You're a damn punk.
You liked
to keep calling me a little human,
but you're even younger than me.
[ninja gasping]
Efreet went back into the sword!
He's admitted defeat!
[ninja 2] No one has ever been able
to beat the Fire Sword.
Gara couldn't get his hands
on that magical object.
The sword has accepted a new owner.
The Fire Sword, huh?
I am a wizard, though.
I don't need a sword.
This will never be as good as Exodus.
- [intense music playing]
- Gara, let's go!
Give me my woman!
[ninja 3 yelping] Run!
He's gonna use the sword!
[Dark Schneider grunting]
[Yoko screaming]
Very well done, Dark Schneider.
Long time no see. It's been 15 years.
[Dark Schneider grunting]
Uh, Lucien!
It's you. You really came to save me.
I can't believe it.
I-I mean, Dark Schneider.
Gara. You little bitch.
I'm very impressed you were able
to vanquish Efreet, Dark Schneider.
Now I understand how you were able
to gain an army of ten million,
and how you almost conquered
the entire world with them.
However [cackling]
you've had to use up
a great deal of magic
to get this far, haven't you?
And that's not all. You've been poisoned.
Your body and your mind
have reached their limit.
You're at your breaking point.
[Yoko] Poisoned?
[Gara] She's a sweet girl, isn't she?
Since you came all this way to save her,
I assume you must have a thing for her.
I'm shocked you haven't touched her.
Now, that's not like you, is it?
[Gara chuckling]
[Gara] You're evil,
cruel, cunning, and cold-hearted.
You'd do anything to win,
no matter how low you sank.
They all feared you like a demon.
[Yoko shrieking]
And yet somehow,
you let a sweet thing like this tame you.
Let go!
Son of a bitch!
You ripped off her dress, didn't you?
That's not for your eyes!
[Gara] Hmm?
That's so unfair!
I haven't even seen her yet!
- [Gara] Huh?
- [Yoko] Uh
[Yoko gasping]
You pervert!
How dare you!
I can't believe I was actually starting
to have feelings for you!
[Lars exclaiming]
You're not anything
like the man I remember.
Oh, well.
Why don't we have a battle
with our swords and magic?
Will the magician say his spell first,
or will the swordsman land the first blow?
- [ninja] Master Gara!
- [Gara] Please, stay back!
Just five minutes.
That's all the time I'll need to show you
how good I've gotten in 15 years.
Great idea.
Come over here and let me kill you.
[hard rock music playing]
Thought you'd never ask!
Murasame Blade!
[Dark Schneider grunting, straining]
- [Yoko shrieking]
- [ninja] Yes! Master Gara!
[laughing] See that?
I could still attack even when I'm not
within your striking range!
[Dark Schneider groaning]
Okay. That hurt.
[Yoko sighing]
Give me all you got, Dark Schneider!
Let's see that powerful spell of yours!
[Gara grunting]
[both grunting, efforting]
[Yoko] A wizard is just a normal human
if he can't say a spell.
There's no way he'll be able
to beat a ninja without it.
[Yoko gasping]
Yoko, I hope that you weren't hurt.
Uh, what is she doing here?
Don't worry.
I'm certain that he'll defeat him.
[Yoko] No way.
Could Sheila be the one who
[both grunting, efforting]
[breathing heavily]
Zaazard, Zaazard. Schrono, Chronossk.
[ninja yelping]
That spell. He's using Venom!
Oh, flames of hell,
burning in the depths of darkness
[Gara] That's right, Dark Schneider.
That's the only spell you have left.
But you're too late!
[ninja] He won't make it
before he finishes!
[ninja 2] Master Gara!
[Dark Schneider]
act as my sword and slay my enemies!
[suspenseful music playing]
- [Sheila gasping]
- Dark Schneider!
[ninja] He did it! Master Gara won!
[Gara] Hmm.
[Dark Schneider groaning]
- [Gara gasping]
- [Dark Schneider] Venom!
[ninjas] What?
No! No!
[Gara screaming, grimacing]
[ninjas] Master Gara!
[Gara groaning]
[Gara] That was close.
If I had blocked that any later, that
Venom spell would've been a direct hit.
you are really underestimating me.
Don't you know who I am?
Why not take a look
at what I did to your body?
You destroyed my arm.
[both] Now I'm gonna kill you!
[ninja] Whoa!
They're going all out now.
They're really going to kill each other!
[ninja 2] No! If Dark Schneider's magic
and Master Gara's sword clash head-on,
all of us are going to die!
[Lars exclaiming]
[ninja] B-but does Dark Schneider
have any spells left
that are strong enough
to beat Master Gara?
[dramatic music playing]
[breathing heavily]
[breathing heavily]
[Sheila] He's bleeding so much.
I've only got a spell or two left
to use for when I fight Gara.
It'll just barely be enough
to beat that asshole.
[Sheila's breath shuddering]
And he's been poisoned,
but he's still willing
to fight to protect her.
Does he really love Yoko that much?
My heart, it aches.
What's wrong with me?
[Yoko] Princess Sheila?
Hold on.
Is Princess Sheila
in love with Lucien too?
How is that possible?
[Gara] Why does he fight?
He doesn't have any spells left.
Even if he did,
he'd pass out from losing so much blood.
This fight should be over
with my next strike.
But he's still so intimidating.
All right.
Dark Schneider!
You really are the best sorcerer.
you don't have any spells left, do you?
But you don't have to get so worked up.
Were you really that upset about the girl?
She's not so special.
Oh, right. I get it.
I forgot you like virgins.
[Gara cackling]
Do you want to know what I did
to this sweet young thing?
[Yoko gasping]
You little bitch! What did you do to Yoko?
[laughing] Okay. I'll tell.
I tied her up nice and tight in chains,
then I had fun covering her in slime.
Y-you covered her in slime?
Hey! Stop it!
He doesn't need to hear this!
I melted her clothes, got her naked,
and licked every corner of her body,
nice and slow.
Wait. Nice and slow, licking
He's lying! Shut up! Shut up right now!
And then I took out
my well-toned Utamaro Sword,
dunked it in a simmering hot oil,
and pushed it in and out of its sheath,
and slowly split her open in two.
Split her open?
Gara! None of this actually happened!
I took her completely!
She really was a virgin!
[Gara cackling]
[Gara] Her body was absolutely perfect!
[ninjas] Whoa!
[Dark Schneider shuddering]
Why you I'm going to kill you!
They're lies!
Everything he said is a lie!
Gara, shut up! He's lying!
Uh oh!
[Gara cackling]
[Gara] How about that, Dark Schneider?
Do you still care about her?
Do we even feel like fighting anymore?
Gara. You asshole!
I'm going to kill you!
Oh, spirits of the earth and the air,
I summon you to do your duty
and fulfill our ancient pact!
[hard rock music playing]
- [ninjas shuddering]
- That spell is legendary!
You idiot!
Your body won't be able
to handle another one of my spells.
Take this! Kyukyoku Ougi!
Perish, Dark Schneider!
Both you and your legend should die out!
[ninjas screaming]
[Dark Schneider grunting]
Shin-Majinken is faster
than the speed of sound,
but he blocked it with one arm!
[ninjas screaming]
- [Sheila gasping]
- Earthquake!
[Dark Schneider cackling]
[Dark Schneider] The magic of the spirits
of the earth and the sky is resonating!
When the strong magic of these two
different elements fuse together,
it will create a tremendous force field!
And I'll use this spell
to blow up the whole castle!
Gara! This is what true power really is!
- [Gara yelling]
- [Lars exclaiming]
[Yoko screaming]
[Head Knight grunting]
[Gara grunting]
[Dark Schneider cackling]
Destroy it! Destroy it!
Bring this whole castle to the ground!
[Gara screaming]
[both shrieking]
Huh? It's a barrier.
[Gara screaming]
[Head Knight] Princess!
[music fades]
[wind whooshing]
[Dark Schneider] Hey, Gara. You dead?
[Gara] You bastard.
I thought you didn't have any spells left.
You're a liar.
[Dark Schneider] You idiot!
You can't write a shonen manga
if you care too much
about the foreshadowing making sense.
I mean, you're the one
who made me mad enough
to have the power to do that,
so how's it feel
to know all of this is your fault?
You know,
sometimes you really piss me off.
And what the hell's going on
with your arm?
It's not attached right.
I'm not sure body parts
are supposed to pop on and off like that.
It freaks me out.
Anyway, doesn't matter anymore.
You know what I mean?
I like how laid back you are.
Despite me just kicking your ass.
[Gara grunting]
So you think I've changed?
Do you think I'm soft?
- [Dark Schneider] Mm-hmm.
- [Gara] Hmm?
You sure are different
from how you used to be.
You would have never said
anything like that back then.
[Dark Schneider] Really?
Wait. Oh no! Where's Lars!
I forgot all about Lars! Lars!
- [Lars exclaiming]
- Huh?
[dramatic music playing]
- [Lars exclaiming]
- [Gara] Huh?
So Lars belongs with you, right?
Huh? Yeah.
[Sheila gasping]
So you're okay.
The barrier protected him,
along with the two of us.
- [Gara groaning]
- [Dark Schneider] Hmm?
[Gara] How'd he have any strength leftover
to do that?
Seems he really has changed.
The old Dark Schneider wouldn't have
hesitated to have killed me and Lars!
I lost fair and square to you.
Nothing is making sense anymore.
[Yoko sighing]
[Sheila] What a strange man.
He tried to kill his enemy,
but he still chose
to protect his enemy's loved one.
Dark Schneider, who are you?
Oh, good! It still works!
[footsteps approaching]
[Sheila] Hmm?
- [Sheila grunting]
- [Yoko] Uh
Okay, okay. I get it.
Thank you for coming
to rescue me, Dark Schneider.
Is that it?
There's nothing else?
You were pretty cool.
[Dark Schneider chuckling]
[Yoko] Uh
You know,
even though you're no longer a virgin,
I still love you.
[Sheila gasping]
Really. I mean that.
I don't care if I'm not your first.
What was that?
[blow landing]
You perverted sorcerer!
Oh, why are all you men such sleazeballs?
[Dark Schneider] I'm sorry.
And also, you better tell me
who broke your seal this time around!
Oh, yeah. About that
Are you actually scared
of getting beaten up by a girl?
Shut up! See?
This is why I didn't want to come!
I'll have you know
I'm still a virgin, you idiot!
D-did you just call me
Did you just say I'm an idiot?
[Yoko] I said you're an idiot
because you're an idiot!
[Sheila] There's no room
for me in this conversation.
[Dark Schneider]
If anyone an idiot, it's you!
- [knights] Princess!
- [Sheila gasping]
[knights] Princess!
Everyone, you're all safe!
By the way, as we speak,
your country, Meta-llicana,
is being attacked
by the Third Unit from my Rebel Army.
What are you gonna do about it?
[knights] What?
This was an obvious distraction.
I mean,
you can see what I'm working with here.
[knights panicking]
Why are you acting like you don't care?
Because I don't care.
[Lars] You haven't changed at all,
Dark Schneider.
You haven't forgotten who I am, have you?
That would hurt my feelings.
[Dark Schneider gasping]
[ending theme music playing]
[music fades]
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