Becker s02e23 Episode Script

Cooked

1 ( upbeat blues theme playing ) Are you sure you guys don't want anything? BOTH: No.
These muffins are fresh from this morning.
No, we're fine, really.
No, thanks.
Can I help you? That's all right, Reg, we got it.
You had a pizza delivered here? Well, you-- You don't make pizza, Reg.
We wanted pizza.
This is a restaurant! You can't just order whatever you want! This is my business.
The business my father founded back in Well, a lot of years ago.
Or maybe he bought it from someone.
But the point is you can't order food from other places.
It's insulting.
I mean, I'm trying to make a living here.
You two are killing me.
Excuse me.
Reg? Yeah? Could you get us a couple of waters? Yeah.
Ooh! Screw the both of you.
You know something, Jake? Mm? The food here's good.
The service stinks.
( bluesy theme playing ) ( upbeat blues theme playing ) Well, well, well.
Look who decided to drop by for a visit.
It's kind of early for sarcasm, Margaret.
It's 10 o'clock.
It's not too early for anything.
First of all, I shaved five minutes off my usual time.
And second, did it ever occur to you that I might have a good excuse for being late? Do you? No, I overslept.
But that's because I was out really late with Gil.
Gil? Gil "from prison" Gil? For your information, and FYI Gil is not in prison anymore.
He was released due to overcrowding.
And guess what? Yesterday, when he was leaving his parole office, he stopped by the Thrifty Mart to buy a lotto ticket, and bam, he won $30,000.
Pretty neat, huh? Linda, I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I want you to think about a few things.
One: parole offices are not open on Sunday.
Two: Thrifty Mart does not sell lotto tickets.
And three: Gil was in jail for petty theft and fraud.
Now, I'm not calling Gil a liar, but Gil is a liar.
He is not a liar.
Jeez, you and that polygraph technician.
Mrs.
Recinos, I want you to take this medication and drink plenty of clear liquids.
You'll be fine in no time.
Clear liquids.
You mean like orange juice? No.
No, clear liquids.
Milk? Milk's not clear.
Oh, right.
So coffee? Is coffee clear? It starts out clear.
Yeah, Margaret.
Mar-- Would you do me a favor and take care of Mrs.
Recinos for me? Oh, oh, I would love to, but I've got all these hospital release duplicates I have to duplicate and release.
What? I'm busy.
Oh, good, Linda? Linda? Whoa.
Her.
Oh, good, Liz, uh, you're here.
Come on in.
Excuse me just for a second.
I have to consult with Dr.
Carson about a very important professional medical matter.
What? Just-- Just-- You know, office-- Office.
What about vodka? I like vodka.
What was that about? Not important.
Hey, you know, I'm really glad you're here.
I-- I-- I meant to apologize for falling asleep last night.
Oh, it's-- When the name of the play's Death of a Salesman, you kind of know the ending going in, don't you? You know, this isn't about the play.
Look, I can only stay a minute, but I wanted to come over here and share something with you.
I just got the most amazing phone call.
What? I am still in shock.
I just got offered a job at Northwestern Memorial in Chicago as head of Emergency Services.
You're kidding me.
No.
A friend of mine just took over as chief of staff.
This is totally out of the blue.
Well, that's fantastic! I know.
It-- It-- You know, I've got so much to think about.
I mean, I've got to make a decision in a couple of days.
Well, relax, relax.
You'll-- You'll figure out what to do.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I've got to go back to work, butwe'll talk later, okay? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, congratulations.
You know, that's great.
Chicago.
Wow.
( bluesy theme playing ) Hey, Reg.
Hey, Becker.
Do you want to order anything? Well, yeah, actually.
Knock yourself out.
Does that bagel shop down the street still deliver? Becker! I'll have toast and coffee, please.
Hey, Liz was here looking for you.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
She found me.
Turns out she's-- She got offered a great job in Chicago.
Wow.
Really? What's she gonna do? Is she taking it? I-- I don't know.
So how do you feel about that? I-- I don't know, you know? It sounds like a great opportunity.
So, what'd you tell her? I told her it sounds like a great opportunity.
And? And what? Well-- And if she goes, aren't you gonna miss her? Well, yeah.
So you didn't actually say you're gonna miss her? Well, not out loud, you know, in words.
Did you happen to tell her that she means more to you than, say, the fungus on your shower curtain? I think she knows that.
God, Becker, you're a doctor.
How can you be so smart and so incredibly stupid at the same time? Well, the man wears many hats.
Oh--! Wait a minute here.
You know, I was-- I was enthusiastic.
I was supportive.
I was everything a guy's supposed to be.
Except sensitive, open, caring-- You know, how the hell am I supposed to know what to do? Every time a guy figures out the rules, you women change 'em, you know? If we're-- You know, if we're attentive, all of a sudden we're smothering.
If we need you, we're co-dependent.
If we don't need you, we're emotionally cut off.
You know, if we dare to ask you what the rules are, you say, "Well, if you don't know, I'm certainly not gonna tell you.
" God, Becker, you just don't get it, do you? I just said I don't get it, Reg! All I'm saying is if you care about Liz at all, you're gonna have to do better than being supportive and enthusiastic.
Idiot.
Jake, do you have any idea what just happened here? Well, if you don't know, I'm certainly not gonna tell you.
( bluesy theme playing ) So, Margaret, I told Gil that you thought he was a liar, and you know what? You were dead wrong.
He really won $30,000 in the lottery? No, he was lying about that.
But only because he didn't think I'd believe the real story.
Which is? His rich uncle died and left him the money.
Uh-huh.
What did he do, kill him? No, he didn't kill him.
His uncle was mauled by a lion at the zoo.
Oh, yes.
I heard about that last night on the made-up news on my pretend TV.
Look, I have no reason to doubt Gil's word, just because he's a thief and he's lied to me in the past.
And until he actually does kill someone, I happen to think he's a pretty cool boyfriend.
Hey, Margaret.
Hm? Yeah, I'm in the middle of this situation with, uh-- With Liz.
I really could use your advice.
Oh, John, I am just touched that you would-- Hello? I'd better take this in my office.
( clears throat ) What? Margaret, hi.
Um, I have a question for you.
Uh, my pills have a little sticker that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery.
" Just how heavy does that machinery have to be? 'Cause I really need to do my wash.
Yes, doctor.
I'll be right there.
I never did get an answer about the vodka.
( bluesy theme playing ) ( knock at door ) Hey, come on in.
Hey.
Wow.
Yeah.
That was nice.
Can I, uh, help you with that? Sure.
Thank you.
You want anything? Do you have anything? Well, I got beer and an orange.
Heh.
You can have beer or a tropical beer.
I'll have a beer.
( closes fridge, opens beer ) So, uh, whew.
Chicago, huh? Oh, I know.
Can you believe that? I was so blown away.
Well, I don't blame you.
I mean, that's a huge deal.
You know, you, uh-- You rushed out of the office so quickly, I didn't get to say much, but I want you to know that if you do go away, I'd-- I'd miss you.
Well, I'd miss you too, John.
Thanks.
That's very sweet.
Oh, good.
Then you should also know that it would make me sad if you were to move away.
John, I'm touched.
Oh, great.
Great, great.
I love this side of you.
Mm.
It's so unlike you.
Well, what can I say? You know, it's just how I feel.
Gosh, I was leaning toward taking that job.
If you feel this way, maybe there's a little more for me to think about than I realized.
( mellow bluesy theme playing ) ( upbeat bluesy theme playing ) Reg? Reg--? Where the hell is she? She's still out jogging.
What's up? Well, I took her brilliant advice and told Liz that I'd miss her if she moved to Chicago.
So after she passed out and came to what did she say? Well, she said that she didn't know I felt that way, and now maybe she'll turn the job down.
Which was not my intention.
You know, I-- I don't want to be responsible for her decision.
Then why'd you say you'd miss her? Uh, I was just trying to score points by being sensitive.
You know, ask Reg.
She's the one who told me to say all that crap.
You know, it sounds to me like you just made a serious commitment.
Yeah, see-- Oh, man.
I was afraid of that.
No, wait-- Wait a second.
Maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves here.
Follow me on this.
Isn't it just possible that she'll turn the job down, stay in New York and not expect things to change? 'Cause, see, that's what I want.
I-- I like things the way they are.
Well, let me ask you a question, John.
Now, after she said she might not take the job, did everything get all quiet? It might have.
Mm-hm.
And then was there nuzzling? I-- I don't remember.
What about sex? Maybe.
( chuckles ) Oh, man, you are cooked.
Oh, jeez.
( laughing ) Hey, Becker.
You know something? I'm doing a good enough job screwing up my own life.
I don't need you to help me by telling me that I-- I should be sad about something that might not even happen if I hadn't said I was sad, and other sensitive crap I should never have said in the first place.
What? I said Oh, Jake, fill her in, will you? So? Becker's getting married.
( bluesy theme playing ) Hey, Margaret, guess what? Okay, I'll just tell you.
Gil didn't have a rich uncle who died.
No! Yes.
He only made up thatstory because he didn't think I'd believe the real story about how he really got the $30,000.
Which is? He was walking down the street and found a bag of money.
So there you go, Miss Cynical.
Mystery solved.
Okay, okay.
He's a lying bastard, and I've gotta confront him! Just get off my back! ( rings ) Doctor's office.
( Jamaican accent ): Oh, no, I sorry.
Margaret not here.
She had to go out of town.
So how is Mrs.
Recinos? Stubbornly clinging to life.
Oh.
You have some messages.
Um, Liz called.
Said she had a very nice time last night.
Hm.
What else? Liz called again.
She wanted to know if you could have lunch with her today, because last night she had such a very nice time.
I think there's been a mistake here, Margaret.
This seems to be for you.
It's from your boss.
It says "mind your own damn business.
" Oh, please.
We both know that's not gonna happen.
So I guess Liz isn't taking that job in Chicago? She-- She said that? No, I put it all together.
Okay.
Jake told me.
Great.
Damn it.
I just wanted to let her know that I'd miss her.
I didn't want to make some kind of commitment.
Well, obviously she thinks you did.
Well, that's 'cause she's a woman.
You guys hear what you want to hear.
And before you say anything, I don't want any more advice.
Listening to other people is what got me in this mess in the first place.
Okay-- Okay.
What should I do? Well, if you don't know, I'm certainly not gonna tell you.
( rock guitar theme playing ) So anyway, I-- I couldn't sleep, so I-- You know, I turned on the TV, and there they were, you know.
The white-haired Bible thumper and his lovely wife.
I swear that woman looks like a raisin that fell into a vat of cotton candy.
Anyway, after that, I found myself just-- John.
John, what--? What are you doing? You've been rambling ever since we sat down.
Are you okay? I-- You know, as a matter of fact, I-- I-- I'm not.
Liz, I-- I've been thinking a lot aboutyou, me, Chicago You know, I-- I just want to speak from my heart.
As a career woman and a medical professional, you-- You deserve-- As the gentleman requested, Dom Pérignon.
Hm? Dom Pérignon? Whoa.
The next time somebody tells me you're cheap, they're gonna hear about this.
Well, uh Yeah, I guess it's a special occasion, I guess.
Anyway, uh, where was I? Oh, yeah, I want to, uh-- I-- Liz, I want to speak from the heart.
You know, as a career-- What? Oh, my God.
( piano playing softly ) There's a diamond ring in here.
What? Oh, no, no-- E-excuse me, I-- I'm-- I'm so sorry.
There's been a mistake.
Please, forgive me.
That was awkward.
Boy, no kidding.
A-a-a-anyway, I-- I want to get back to Chicago.
Um, I-- I want to speak from the heart.
You know, as a career woman and a medical professional, you-- You deserve and have my utmost respect and heartfelt congratulations.
Are you okay? No, I'm fi-- I'm fine.
Uhanyway, sh-- Where was I? Um, heartfelt Oh, yeah.
Right, um, my-- My-- My-- My feelings-- Wait a minute.
You're working from notes? I just wanted to get it right.
You know-- You know, the hell with it.
Let me-- Let me just say this.
You know, I-- I-- I care about you, Liz, but I'm not ready to make a commitment.
I-- I think you should take the job in Chicago.
Oh, thank God.
What? ( exhales ) I already called Chicago and accepted the job.
Oh, thank-- Oh, thank God! Oh, that's-- After last night, I thought you wanted me to turn it down, and I-- This is such a great opportunity.
I really want to go.
And I want you to go.
I mean, as long as, you know, you're already going.
I-- Yeah.
I-- I mean, I-- For a minute there I thought you wanted me to marry you.
Oh.
Hey.
I-- I don't want to marry you.
And I don't want to marry you either.
Liz, I'm so happy.
Me too.
You know, of all my failed relationships, this one has failed the least? Thank you.
I have to admit that even though we didn't really have that much, what we didn't have was really special.
As a matter of fact, I've never not had something with someone that I haven't enjoyed more.
Oh, you know what? This is crazy.
It's not like we're gonna stop seeing each other or anything.
Oh, no.
No.
Sometimes these long-distant things can work out.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
It just takes a little effort.
Yeah, I mean, we could see each other on weekends.
Exactly.
And if weekends don't work, there are always vacations.
Right.
Quite right.
Yeah, vacations.
Yeah.
We're definitely gonna keep seeing each other.
No, we're definitely gonna see each other.
Absolutely.
We will, won't we? Yeah.
Yeah.
I-- I-- I don't want to not have what we never really had in the first place, you know.
( both laugh ) Me neither.
You know something? We-- We should have some champagne and celebrate here.
Really? Yeah.
And I-- I don't mean the cheap stuff either.
( laughs ) ( upbeat blues theme playing ) ( rock guitar theme playing ) Well, Margaret, you'll be happy to know that last night I told Gil that if he doesn't have enough respect for me to tell me the truth, then I can't be with him.
Linda, that must have been very difficult.
I'm proud of you.
I called him a big, fat liar right to his face.
( laughs ) You should have heard him begging me to believe that load about finding a bag of money.
Please.
A bag of money.
NEWSWOMAN ( on TV ): --a bag of money that apparently fell from the back of an armored truck.
And when 28-year-old Gil Richards turned the bag in to police, bank officials rewarded his honesty with a check for $30,000.
And good news, ladies: he's single.
Turning to spor-- ( snaps TV off ) ( snickers ) You know, Margaret I think I just might take the rest of the day off.
And I also think that you might be just fine with that.
Right? Sure sounds fine.
( chuckles ) I'm taking the rest of the day off.
If you have a problem with that, talk to Margaret.
Why look a gift horse in the mouth? Hey, you guys.
Hey, John.
Okay, John.
I have been waiting all day.
I've been waiting for you to say something.
What happened with Liz last night? Oh, uh-- Well, it turns out she, uh-- She took the job in Chicago.
And you're okay with that, right? Right.
Because that's what you wanted, right--? That's what I wanted, yeah.
Okay.
I'll see you at the office.
Okay.
Congratulations.
That was a close call, huh? ( chuckles ) Yeah.
Too close.
Hm.
You okay, Becker? Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.
( clears throat ) You just sound-- Reg, I'm fine.
Well, you want something to eat? No.
Oh, as a matter of fact, yeah.
I think I'll have a-- A burger.
Uh, you know, actually, uh, just a bowl of soup.
You know what? Uh, skip it.
Ahem.
Coffee will be fine.
I'm sorry.
It's okay, Reg.
( clears throat ) I've had your coffee before.
( bluesy guitar theme playing ) ( upbeat blues theme playing )